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This is a cool little gizmo from Olive and June, a nail salon and company out of Los Angeles. This plastic topper fits on your nail polish bottle and gives you more control when doing an at-home manicure. It looks a bit more ergonomic than trying to wrap your fingers around the bottle tops, especially the ones that are more difficult than normal (I’m looking at you, giant black OPI brush). In the reviews it says you can use it with other nail polish brands besides Olive and June, and it says it’s “universal” in the product description. The reviews also mention this being a great product to paint your dominant hand and for people with rheumatoid arthritis. The Poppy is available for $16 at olivejune.com. The PoppySales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Irish Midori says
Anyone find any good deals on Amazon Prime Day today?
Anonanonanon says
Not really. My son has had one of the “kid” kindles for years and it has finally lived its life, so I took advantage of the good deals on new kindles and got him a new one.
octagon says
I got the discounted ipad for kiddo. (We’ve had a fire for a year and I hate it so much, time to upgrade.)
CPA Lady says
I’m contemplating getting a soda stream and a robot litter box. The fun never ends over here. :)
Anonymous says
warning, litter box robots are so cat dependent. My cats did not like them, even after trying every trick in the book to introduce. They decided to use the corner of the (carpeted) basement for their litter box instead, and eventually we had to give their low-tech one back and remove the offending robot from the vicinity. And also replace the basement floor.
I do love my soda stream, though!
Anonymous says
Not even looking.
Anonymous says
That revlon one-step volumizer brush/hair dryer thing is on sale
Anonymous says
Oh, thanks for this! I’ve been intrigued (in large part thanks to all the commenters here) and got it for $28, with the $10 credit I got from shopping at Whole Foods last week.
Sarabeth says
There are Amazon workers striking, so I’m not buying anything. I don’t cross picket lines at brick and mortar stores, so I’m not going to do it on the internet either.
Anonymous says
This. I don’t buy from Amazon at all.
Redux says
Same same same! It’s a two-day strike, y’all: buy nothing.
Anon says
Same, but I’m not an Amazon fan in general. I got rid of Prime almost 5 years ago and have no regrets.
anon says
+1
IP Attorney says
I picked up the Instant Pot, finally caved because it was pretty cheap.
IP Attorney says
Oh and the Olaplex shampoo, conditioner, and No. 3 treatment are all on sale. Got those too.
Irish Midori says
Seriously considering instapot. Hate to buy ANOTHER kitchen gadget that takes up valuable space, but will I love it?
Anonymous says
I got it last year on Prime Day and honestly have rarely used it. Does come in handy for some tasks like steaming a bunch of fruit/veggies at once for my baby, but it’s not nearly the miracle appliance that I’d hoped it would be. YMMV, I have a friend who uses hers religiously.
Irish Midori says
I like the Full Focus Planner, and it NEVER goes on much discount, so I was pleased to see it at $30 on Prime. (It says list price is $60, but it’s usually $40 at the FFP website, though without the free shipping. Still, a good deal.)
Anon says
Last week was on vacation and one of my 14 month old twins was sick for most of the trip with a high fever, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. we got home Friday – she went to bed later than usual due to flight delays but slept fine. The past two nights she has been up all night screaming! She is totally healthy now. Is there a 14 month old sleep regression? With the exception of illness she has slept through the night since she was 5 months old. Help! We are soo soo tired
Anon says
I don’t really believe in sleep regressions for no reason but there are lots of things that can cause disruptions and are common at 14 months – illness (even without fever), teething, learning to walk independently if she isn’t already etc.
Anonymous says
This sounds like an ear infection to me.they can turn up after an illness recedes. I wouldn’t assume it’s a sleep regression right away. If it is just a sleep problem and not an illness then it’s prob just from travel
AlexisFaye says
+1 plane can exacerbate
Anonymous says
It’s probably just the disturbance of travel and being sick.
Anonymous says
I agree to get her checked for ear infection. Every time my kids have been up all night screaming after an illness, that’s been the culprit. Good luck.
Newly pumping says
In my previous life I generally wore all dresses to work – I liked how I didn’t have to pull together an outfit, felt put together etc. but now pumping am finding I greatly prefer blouses I can push up with pants or skirts. I don’t want to spend a lot of money here but am willing to invest some (oh also my old clothes don’t fit since baby?)! Any favorite tried and true separates – machine washable being a giant plus? I don’t love button downs since my chest is huge. I tried searching the archives but was a bit overwhelmed! TIA!
AnotherAnon says
My staples lately are tops from H&M and Everlane work pants: I don’t love the pants b/c I’m short and they’re supposed to be ankle length – for me they’re full length; also they don’t have pockets (who makes dress pants without pockets??) but they get the job done.
rosie says
I liked Old Navy for this. I got ankle pants and then some tunic-y blouses that were easy to push up (I also don’t like button downs). Ann Taylor may be another option for blouses. I also wore a lot of nursing t-shirts with a nice scarf covering (I hoped…) the nursing neckline plus a sweater or blazer.
Pogo says
+1 I did similar. I have a couple pairs of blank ponte pants (I think from Vince Camuto?) that I paired with tunic-y blouses from Calvin Klein, usually sized up. I’ll post a link to similar styles.
I would also do nursing tank + cardigan buttoned over the cleavage. My chest did go down eventually, so there is hope.
Have you tried doing the zip-down dress and pump that way? I actually liked that too. In addition to wrap dresses w/ easy access.
Pogo says
For example: https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-v-neck-roll-sleeve-top?ID=3298178&pla_country=US&CAWELAID=120156070008964918&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=47685649359&CATCI=pla-382806503731&cm_mmc=Google-PLA-ADC-_-Desktop_Non_RLSA_Non_Trade-_-sutton-_-191797831172USA&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5PiW8pC34wIViobACh1Sdg7TEAQYAyABEgKDefD_BwE
anon says
favorite toddler water bottles?
CPA Lady says
Nalgene grip n gulp
Anonymous says
I haven’t tried many others, but we’re happy with our Camelbak Eddy toddler sized. Whatever you pick, I recommend just sticking with one make and model and buying a few. I loathe having different pieces of several brands of water bottles, sippy cups, milk cups, etc.
Anon says
We have these and are generally happy with them, but be warned on a plane the pressure can make the water squirt everywhere when you open, which I forget every time until we are on the plane. So you will at least want something different for travel if you get these. It even happens if we drive far up enough in mountains. It happens to some of the ones we own more than others, not sure why.
Anon says
I like polar ice. Keeps water relatively cool and kiddo can easily open it.
IP Attorney says
Contigo! Easy to use, tough (our 20 month old drops it all the time), and doesn’t leak.
Leatty says
Another vote for Contigo. We have a few Camelback ones, but I don’t like those as much since the spout can leak if there is pressure on it. My daughter rolled over on her water battle while sleeping and it leaked badly. I also don’t like that it has four separate parts (unlike the Contigo ones that only have two)
lsw says
I love Contigo too. Our Costco often sells trios of them. And you can buy replacement lids which is awesome!
Emily S. says
Thermos Funtainer. It doesn’t sweat because it’s aluminum/insulated and keeps drinks cold (over the weekend, my 4 yo took a sip and said, “my bottle is warm from the sun but my water is cold,” in amazement.) I also like it because the lid completely covers the drinking straw, it has a handle built into the lid, and if dropped, the lid usually closes. I also like the idea of less plastic to fade, get stinky, etc., although the straws are plastic.
lsw says
We use this for milk and generally like it, but I wish I had thought to check to see if there is one with a handle. My son likes to carry his milk and his water and it’s hard without a handy little loop at the top like Contigo has.
ElisaR says
my Thermos Funtainer has a little loop on top. Double check yours, it isn’t obvious, but there’s a little thing to flip up
Anon says
We’re about to send our first to Kindergarten and need to supply lunches for the first time ever. (We’ve been beyond blessed with lunch-providing daycares & preschools up to this point). I would love to come up with a basic, simple-to-make/put together menu that doesn’t have temperature issues for each of the 5 days and just put that on auto-repeat every week. I’m thinking someone on the internet has had to have laid out something like this before I recreate the wheel. I can google, but thought I’d see if there are any recommendations on where to look from the group here?
Also, should we get one of those “bento box” type lunch boxes? To save from using baggies, right?
Thanks!
Anon says
Feeding Littles shows her kids’ lunch boxes regularly, so you might get some inspiration from that. Also I would highly encourage delegating the packing of lunch to your kid as much as possible. K is probably young to be completely responsible for it (though I’m sure they can help) but I think by second or third grade it was fully my chore.
rosie says
Hah, I’ve been debating whether to get one of those bento containers. I suspect I’ll end up getting one if I see one at TJ Maxx, but my plan (preschool, not K) is to just use containers that we already have and bumkins snack bags, at least to start. Unless anyone thinks using the bento container will make it easier to pack lunch and/or more likely that things are consumed…
FVNC says
Last school year when our daughter went to K, we kept it really simple: cream cheese or peanut butter sandwich (no PB restrictions at her school), a fruit, and string cheese/baby bell cheese. Exciting? No. Required brain power? Also no.
Anon says
This is basically our go-to as well, except soy butter because no nuts (I’m so jealous you can do PB!). So easy and very kid-friendly foods. If I send leftovers from dinner or any kind of veggie, we see a lot more food waste, which I hate.
Anon says
Jaclyn Day made a one-page toddler lunch plan that I still use to pack my K/1st grader’s lunches. We use those Lunchblox containers to get one from each category and settled into a routine of basically the same thing each Monday, etc. I make a double batch of some of the recipes and freeze them in single-serve portions so they’re easy to grab. I pack lunches the night before and have never had an issue with thawing/ temperature by lunch time.
Big winners at my house – the Weelicious veggie muffins and ham/cheese muffins and banana corn fritters, Mac and Cheese with leftover rotisserie shredded chicken, trader joes corn dogs, and cream cheese and berries on a bagel thin.
Sarabeth says
We do this. Each day has a fruit, a protein, a carb, and a dried fruit “treat”
Fruits: Apple, orange, blueberries, peaches, mango [the last three are from frozen most of the year]
Proteins: Hardboiled egg, hummus, peanut butter sandwich, cheese sticks, tofu [we have leftover tofu at least once/week].
Carbs: Pasta [from leftovers], pretzels, bread with butter, crackers, goldfish
Treats: raisins, prunes, dried mango, dried pineapple, dried cranberries\
Pogo says
We use a very similar formula! I have the Bentgo kids box and the big left-hand side is carb, little treat container in the middle is dried fruit, smallest bottom container is protein or veggie, and the top long container is fruit, and the right most container is either protein or veggie. I switch up the protein and veggie with whichever he prefers more gets the bigger section – for example, he LOVES smoked salmon so that’s in the bigger container today and sliced bell pepper is in the smaller one (he’ll eat like approx. three bites of pepper).
We also send a separate yogurt container, granola bar, and small baggie of crackers. But, we’re talking full day of daycare where he’s there for 10+ hours and needs lot of snacks. His provider doesn’t tap into the crackers every day, they get eaten if I pick him up at like 5:30 and he’s basically ready for dinner.
H13 says
I have a notecard on the fridge that lists things my son will eat by category (main course, fruit, veg, snacks). I made it with the intention that my husband or visiting family would sometimes pack lunches after the new baby (um, two years ago) but I still refer to it often when I can’t think of what to pack. It can be so specific by kid. And they aren’t bothered by repetition usually.
We’ve also used a bento-style box for eons. I really like them. It makes it easy for me to make sure there are fruit and veg in every lunch and it keeps the number of separate containers down making dishes easier at the end of the day.
Irish Midori says
I have a low, deep drawer where I keep kid lunch/snack supplies — sandwich crackers, granola bars, fruit, treats, etc. The kids (K and 3rd) know they have to pack one thing from each category, and then I make them a sandwich or microwave Annie’s mac n cheese. Last year the 3rd grader started making his own sandwiches and has figured out how to prepare the mac, too! When they run out of something or have a special request, it is their responsibility to tell me or put it on the grocery list. So far, it mostly works well. I wish we had more variety, but the kids are very picky, and they don’t seem to mind eating the same thing every day.
OP says
Thanks everyone! So, silly question, but for everyone saying stuff like mac and cheese: do your kids just eat this room temp then by the time lunch rolls around (I know, they’re kids, they probably don’t care…?) or how much do you utilize a thermos etc. to keep stuff warm?
Sarabeth says
I use nothing to keep things warm/cold. All food is room temp.
Anonymous says
+1
Irish Midori says
My kids have a little thermos for mac n cheese, and it keeps it plenty warm. We’ve also put leftover spaghetti and meatballs or cut up hot dogs in it. This one: https://www.target.com/p/thermos-minecraft-10oz-funtainer-food-jar-green/-/A-53241417
Bonus: it’s dishwasher safe.
rosie says
I have an even sillier question: if you pack a thermos like this with warm food, do you not put it in the insulated lunchbox if there is cold stuff and an ice pack in there?
Irish Midori says
I put it in there with everything. But then, I can’t think of a time a kid has taken both a hot thermos and cold pack the same day. Either is the exception rather than the rule for them.
anon for this says
I do ravioli and tortellini mostly for pasta, which taste good cold. He also eats mac n cheese cold, though I wouldn’t care for it.
Buddy Holly says
Love our PlanetBox lunchbox. We do a protein, a fruit, and a veggie each day. On Sundays and Wednesdays I chop up veggies to last a few days (carrots, celery, cucumbers, the occasional cooked squash or potato). We always have apples or bananas, and I rotate other things like berries, grapes, mango. The protein is usually leftovers from dinner, but we also usually have organic hot dogs, lunch meat, canned tuna, and/or jerky on hand for when we don’t have leftovers. Occasionally we add a packaged food like chips, crackers, dried fruit, etc. But I try to stick to fresh, whole foods because my child has many allergies and sensitivities and seems to be generally healthier when we avoid packaged convenience foods.
Minnie says
Moms who br3astfed: Do you feel like it took some time for your hormones to settle down after you weaned? My son stopped nursing back in March, after which I instantly got my first post-baby period and it lasted for forty (40!) days. Then I got another one that lasted for forty (40!) days, then last week I got one that lasted for…five days? I’m exhausted from trying to predict what’s going to happen in any given month.
Complicating matters is, I got the birth control implant almost a year ago. I really like it, but I can’t tell how much of this hormonal drama is from the implant vs how much is my hormones still getting settled.
Anon says
40 days!?! Did you talk to your doctor about that? I know the first postpartum period can be rough, but I never heard of anything like that.
Anonymous says
It’s the implant and you should talk to your doctor. Weaning does not cause this, and it’s a known side effect of the implant.
Minnie says
I guess I just wonder how long I should allow to let things settle down. The advice seems to be that in the first six months of implant usage especially, users should anticipate that things might go a little haywire. Obviously I’m way past that stage now, but I’m only four months past the end of nursing. So which date should I accept as the “beginning” of implant usage? There is too much higher math here.
And yes, I did talk to my OB, whose stance was pretty much, “Menstruating…it’s a b***, huh? I guess you can have a bit of estrogen if you like.” It didn’t help but I’m not sufficiently motivated enough to return. (Plus my last period was only five days long, so…I guess there’s hope?)
Anonymous says
Ok then don’t do anything about it. But this is because of the implant, you’re over 6 months, and it has nothing to do with weaning. Idk why you’re even asking us.
Anon says
Sounds like a second opinion may be in order.
CPA Lady says
That is 100% from the implant. I had to have mine taken out because it made me bleed nonstop. I had two implants back to back in the past and didnt have a period for years, but having a baby made my hormones change enough that I reacted badly to many of the BCs I took without an issue prior to having a baby.
anon says
so i’ve been dealing with something similar. i delivered last May, got an IUD for the first time and was breastfeeding until this past november. prior to this i took the pill and had always been very regular. the past month or so i’ve been bleeding on and off like all the time. idk what is going on but my previously very predictable cycle has become totally irregular.
anon for this says
That sounds pretty extra, but I did have a (TMI) 20-day long EWCM situation when I weaned and thought I had an infection because so. much. discharge. Turns out that was actually a side effect of weaning (body finally ovulating again) and things went back to normal after that first month. I am on the minipill fwiw.
Emily S. says
I had what I termed the perpetual period. No joke, 9 months of a period following the implant, with some flux in flow following weaning. Visited my doctor twice, who was perplexed, especially after the second visit, but said it’s not uncommon with the implant. She said she wished the literature around the implant was more clear that this is not atypical. She also said she was glad I came in so she could do a physical exam and some imaging and rule out anything serious, so my advice would be to see your doctor and together you can decide to wait and see or take it out. (FWIW, after about 9 months, my period has nearly vanished. Maybe 2 days, 2 times in the past year and a half? So, as annoying as it was, worth it now.)
Anon says
+1 on ruling out serious causes. The timing certainly suggests it’s a hormonal issue, but sustained bleeding is also a symptom of many reproductive cancers, so I think it always warrants a doctor’s visit.
Anon says
Yes, go to your gyn. I’m now 3 years out from my third kid, have not been on any hormonal BC at all, and am having similar issues. My gyn wanted to rule out cancer and some other stuff first. I’m about to go back on the pill for two months to see if that helps.
Anonymous says
The implant had me bleeding 2 weeks out of every month. I waited about 3-4 months and then had it removed. I really wish it had worked for me, but we’ve resorted to condoms because everything else has caused problems. (Yes I know a vasectomy is the obvious answer, but my husband prefers condoms, and I can live with that. I’m aging out of fertility anyway).
Anonymous says
My daughter is having a girl over that she only knows a little bit- they played soccer together last year but will be going to kindergarten together in the fall and when I asked my kid if she’d like to have her over she was really into it.
Her mom warned me that she can be a bit shy, as can my kid.
Any ideas of good activities or outings that would be good to put them at ease? Or just put them in the playroom and they’ll make it work?
Usually my kid has kids over she knows pretty well and they’re old enough not to need much intervention (almost 6).
Anonymous says
I usually set my shy kid up with a craft project to start and then walk away.
Redux says
Is the kid’s parent staying or dropping the kid off? My sometimes shy kid is way more shy if I stick around.
Anon says
I would just leave them alone. If you’re really concerned, you could try to work out some kind of code word with your kid in advance, where she can call you in and use that codeword to indicate she wants you to stick around. But I’m sure they’ll be fine on their own and it’s not the end of the world if there’s some awkwardness.
Anonymous says
I’m not actually concerned, but sometimes it’s helpful to just have some kind of activity out there or some kind of adventure planned. Like for example, I can take them to a playground to go hang out if that might be less awkward than having her at our house.
Or, I can have her at the house and have a bunch of art stuff or lego stuff set out.
Just curious what your kiddos like and if you had any fun things to suggest :)
Shoes inside? says
Is there a nice way to ask people to take off their shoes when they come in your house without being off-putting? We have a crawling baby and I know germs are good, etc. – but it grosses me out anyway. I know I can just ask, and I’ve done that it the past, but I feel like people are mildly offended by it.
Clementine says
I just say, ‘Oh, do you mind taking off your shoes? The baby is crawling and puts EVERYTHING in her mouth.’ People deal.
Caveat is that if I’m having a fancy-ish adults function – like a dinner party or a bridal shower or something – I don’t make people remove their shoes.
Anonymous says
Yes this. For everyday visits, ask nicely, and don’t take any notice of their reactions. For formal or big parties, let it go and clean after. You’re good!
rosie says
We have a bench to sit on next to the door and keep some of our shoes by the door. Often people will see our shoes sitting out (and us getting the door barefoot) and ask if they should. Otherwise, we say “would you mind taking off your shoes, if you’re comfortable?” (Adding the “if you’re comfortable” to give room for the person to say that they need to keep them on — some people ay have balance or other health issues that make it difficult to go barefoot.)
Redux says
Yes, this– my mother really can’t go without shoes because of complications in her feet, so grandma gets to keep her shoes on!
Legally Brunette says
We have the same set up, and if someone forgets, we just ask nicely if they can take off their shoes.
Anon says
There have been HUGE debates about this on the main page. I generally ask, although I’m more relaxed about it with elderly relatives (including our parents) who have trouble getting shoes on and off easily – I would ask them to take shoes off if we’re coming inside for the day, but not if we’re just stopping by the house briefly before going out again. Caveat that we live in the Midwest where pretty much everyone removes shoes in winter/bad weather, and a lot of our friends are Asian and never wear shoes inside. I have slippers and clean socks for guests who want them.
One thing to note re: crawling baby is that exposure to germs in infancy is actually really good and having your child in too clean an environment until after their first birthday can make it significantly more likely they’ll get leukemia (if they’re genetically predisposed to it, which something like 1/100 people are). Our daughter didn’t start daycare or get sick until she was 1.5, and in hindsight I sort of regret that.
Shoes inside? says
I don’t read the main page anymore so didn’t realize. As far as germs go, but our pediatricians office has a sign recommending no shoes inside because of lead exposure (must be in the soil?). Add that to snow melt in winter, fertilizer, etc., it’s not really the germs I’m worried about.
Anon says
Oh well if your ped has a sign recommending no shoes, I think that’s a natural excuse. I’m a big fan of blaming the doctor.
Anonymous says
I don’t even explain I just say can you take your shoes off. But 90% of people ask if we’re a shoes on/off household.
Katu says
Hydroflask with the straw lid. My 17 month old just started using it.
anonanony says
First time poster here!
We have 8 month old twins and my husband took a step back from a mid-size law firm — he works 66% now — so that he could see the kids. He is at home with them 2.5 days a week and we have a nanny for two days, and MIL takes care of the other .5 day.
My question is — most of my friends and a lot of posters on this site talk about how much their kids love their daycare, etc. Some of my SAHM friends still have their oldest going to “school” at some point during the week for a few hours or whatever. I have total day care envy (activities! learning!) but for us with two its the most expensive option, plus husband working full time means he would never. see. them.
My question is:
(1) Is this a thing or should I just not worry about it and put them in kindergarten whenever people do that?
(2) If it’s a thing, what should we do? Maybe have husband up hours and put them in something fun one day a week? Classes or something?
Anon says
Kids don’t get much out of “school” until age 2 or 3 and since they are twins they have more socialization at home than most other kids. Personally, I would put them in part time preschool at age 3. It’s common in my area for kids of SAHMs to do 2-3 mornings/week at age 3 and 4-5 mornings/week at age 4, in preparation for 5 days/week of school in K. This kind of preschool is WAY cheaper than full time daycare. (My kid is in daycare, fwiw, but just because we have two full time working parents and we need childcare.)
Anonymous says
+1. Preschool is useful, but you are years away from that.
Nan says
I say don’t worry about it! Kindergarten will be here before you know it anyway. Kids thrive in all sorts of environments. I think free play and time with Dad is amazing at this stage. It’s not an option for everyone (we are a daycare family personally), but if it’s working for you, that’s great!
Anon says
This is obviously not something you need to worry about at this age, but I do think the transition to kindergarten would be hard on a kid who has never been in any kind of formal school environment, particularly if you opt for all-day kindergarten, which most working parents do. Going from a weekly playgroup or two with a trusted caregiver present to five day per week, all day school with a bunch of other kids and no parents is an enormous change. Even children who have nannies or stay at home parents typically go to preschool by age 3 precisely to make the transition to kindergarten smoother. But again, not something you need to worry about for at least a couple years.
Nan says
I guess I was assuming time at home with dad included some sort of socialization once they got older. I don’t know any stay at home parents who don’t literally just stay home constantly. But your point about preschool when they get older is a good one.
Anonanonanon says
This. Children need to learn how to stay in their chair, how to not get to eat lunch/snack until the designated time, how to raise their hand, ask to go to the bathroom, etc. before Kindergarten. I think you can definitely accomplish that by sending them to a preschool twice a week when they’re 3, though.
Anonymous says
I have twins. I stayed home the first year, DH stayed home the second year and then went to daycare with zero issues at age 2. DH took them to a casual type music class once a week but that was also because he found it hard to entertain them at home. Are there any drop in playgroups in your area?
anon says
my twins are 6 months older than yours. we have a nanny for both financial and logistical reasons. i was actually just saying to DH yesterday that sometimes i feel badly my kids don’t get to play with a mud table, etc. (one of my friends just posted a pic of her daughter doing this at daycare). this same friend is kind of jealous my kids are home with a nanny. basically on some level the grass is always greener. just take the kids to the playground, maybe a children’s museum. you could sign them up for a class or two once they are a bit older, but i don’t think they will get much out of them at this age
anonanony says
yes exactly — like what is this mud table and wouldn’t that be cool? But I remind myself that no pick ups or drop offs is a huge benefit to a nanny situation. Plus I can’t really tell but it does seem like they look to both me and my husband equally when they need things like food or attention or whatever, which I really like.
Anon says
Fwiw that will probably change at some point – my husband was our daughter’s primary caregiver for 9 months (3 months to 12 months) and now she’s 16 months and in a major MAMA MAMA MAMA phase. I’m still nursing so I think it’s just the power of the b00bs. It’s great for many reasons for them to be home with your husband and seeing dad as the primary caregiver, but it doesn’t mean they won’t go through a phase of wanting you more.
Anon says
DH is a SAHD and he is chopped liver whenever I am even near the house (which is certainly frustrating to him). Meanwhile I’m over here loving my 2 YO daughter dearly but desperately wishing there was some middle ground between constantly touching me and sobbing hysterically when not touching. I say everything is a phase, but she’s been like this since she was an infant, so this apparently is a really, really, really long phase.
anonanony says
Thank you — these are all good points. There’s some drop in stuff at the library that are on the days that our nanny is here, so she takes them — idk i think they all stare at bubbles or something. Maybe we will look into part time preschool down the line, it’s nice to know that we have another year or even two on this one.
Anon says
My DH stays home with our kiddo. We are thinking of putting her in one day a week preschool at 2 (it’s only like 3-4 hours a day) just to help out a bit on the socialization and structured learning, hopefully help with some separation anxiety issues we’re still having, and give DH a bit of a break. Originally we were going to wait until 3, but she really likes other kiddos and so after talking with the ped, we think 2 might be OK. The plan would be to go to 2 days a week at 3, then 3-4 days a week at 4.
anon says
For socialization, we always had our nanny and au pairs do playdates. We encouraged meet ups or play sessions at least once a week, if not 2-3 times.
We also encourage our au pair now to do preschool-like activities with the kids. She does a couple of art projects and baking project with the kids every week. She also works with our younger one on learning her shapes and letters through play and songs. If your nanny hasn’t started doing more of these sorts of activities as the kid gets bigger, it might be something to add to her goals for the year.
If you want a preschool-like activity, see if your community has any cooperative playgroups or preschools. They tend to be very low cost, but require a parent to be present and contributing. Our county runs one, but there are also private versions at some churches.
For the record, my kids hated daycare. They were always always sick, under napped and overstimulated. They are so much happier with more time at home. I wouldn’t be jealous.
Anon says
My 19-month old is home with a nanny most mornings and then I’m with her in the afternoons/evenings. When she was around a year old, we started doing a weekly infant/toddler music class and a Gymboree class (we’ve since switched to a Mommy & Me dance class as she’s gotten more active and still do Gymboree). Our nanny also takes her out to library storytime at least once a week, so there’s typically a minimum of 3 days/week that she sees and interacts with other kids. We also try to arrange at least one play date a week with a similarly-aged peer, if possible. She’s starting a one day/week Mommy & Me preschool class in the fall that I think will also help with socialization.
Twins says
You have plenty of time for this. My twins have always had nanny/au pairs. At age two they started a 2x week preschool program that gradually ramped up to 3 mornings then 5 mornings each year
I wouldn’t worry about formal socialization until closer to age 2. They just did drop in story time before then. These days, my au pair sets up tons of play dates in addition to part-time preschool but that’s also for her sanity/socialization
Some sort of preschool is probably advisable before Kindergarten, but there are certainly kids who do fine without it
Law Mama says
I would not worry about it at all for another year or so. My husband stayed home with our daughter her first year, she was in a nannyshare the second year, and then she is starting daycare at 2 and that has felt like a great progression for us. It was hard for my husband to meet people – he was really the only SAHD and under 1 the kids can’t really okay together so there wasn’t a lot of socialization other than story time at the library. But our nanny has been great foe this. She gets together with other nannies and so she has a pretty regular routine where she sees other kids, some older and some younger, and through that has learned about sharing, taking turns, etc. If your nanny is social that is probably already happening and if not, you could encourage that or put the kids in a music class or something to help the nanny meet other nannies in the neighborhood.
New-ish Mom says
I really need a pep talk, or advice, or something – I don’t even know. My baby is almost 1 and I’m so completely freaked out by the time warp that the last year has been. I can’t believe how old he is( and I’m starting to feel like I’m missing his childhood by working full time. I know that’s not actually true, but I can’t seem to stop feeling like everything is on fast forward and there’s just never enough time. Is this a normal thing or am I being overly emotional (or both)? It sounds stupid when I write it out like this, but it’s really upsetting.
Anon says
I think it’s a totally normal thing and I know tons of moms who feel this way, both working and SAHM.
Anonymous says
Normal. The days are long and the years are short. Last night, my son casually said he’d be 7 for baseball season next spring, and that sounded SO OLD to me. Where does the time go?
anon says
i have been feeling the same way lately. i have 14 month old twins and we definitely aren’t having any more so every single stage is both the first and the last. i felt this way even more right before they turned 1. i think it is very normal to feel this way. it really is true that the days can be very very long, but the years can be very very short!
Anon says
Yep. I have an only, so everything is first and last at the same time, and it’s hard to appreciate the stages when you’re in them and don’t realize how fleeting many of them will be (“WHY WON’T SHE SLEEP!?!?!” when she’s a newborn and then as soon as she starts sleeping “OMG SHE’S SO GROWN UP WHERE DID MY BABY GO!?”).My DD is 3 now and every year is definitely going faster than the one before it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Have you seen the movie Arrival? I often wish that time could be a little less linear and that I could go back and re-experience moments with my kids when they were younger, and I imagine I’ll feel that even more in the future.
I think this feeling is shared by almost all parents so it’s totally normal that you feel this way and you’re not doing anything wrong or that you wouldn’t feel this way if you were home.
If it helps, I think my relationship with my parents has gotten better and deeper as I’ve gotten older, and I think it’s really cool to think about how my kids will develop into people of their own and I’m looking forward to seeing that progress.
Anonanonanon says
I feel you, but I’ve been a SAHM before and it was not great. I had to telework the past two weeks at home with a kid, and even though I had a sitter from 10-3 it was a great reminder of why I work. I found myself quickly just looking forward to morning nap, then looking forward to afternoon nap, then looking forward to my husband getting home so I could have a break. I’m so happy to be back in the office and to have a chance to miss her. I definitely have MORE “quality” time when I have a chance to miss my kids.
drpepperesq says
my son is a toddler and we are 1 and done (arrived at that decision fairly recently- woo!), and i am cleaning out his toys to pass along to a friend. i feel like i’m getting my living room back after being inundated with children’s toys and then i had a reflective moment and was thinking about how quickly the baby/toddler toy years were in hindsight. also thinking about how we agonized about what stroller to get and we don’t even use it anymore. it went by shockingly fast.
Clementine says
3 year old is home sick from daycare. I have to do a bit of work, but not much. The current bug going around daycare takes a couple days to get over.
I’m not even mad, I’m just over here organizing my closets while kid watches too much TV and I force as many liquids into him as I possibly can.
Irish Midori says
Word. I secretly kind of love those days.
anon says
what is the difference between a balance bike vs. getting a small bike that could have training wheels and pedals and just not attaching said training wheels or pedals?
Ducky says
Balance bikes don’t have a bike chain. They are also weighted a bit differently with heavier tires, I think. Both of my kids got a lot of use out of the balance bike before switching to a real bike around age 4.
Pogo says
+1, the bikes are built differently. To achieve the same thing w/ a real little kiddo, I wouldn’t take the pedals off a bike w/ a chain, as the chain itself is greasy and a potential pinch point. What I love about the balance bike for my 2yo is that it is very low to the ground and has few pinch points – so when he falls he rarely gets hurt (he does get his foot stuck sometimes when he falls and will cry for me to help him, not because he’s actually in pain). He is obsessed with his and rides it every single day. I’m hoping as others have said to go straight to bike w/ no training wheels.
ElisaR says
yeah my cousin got her toes stuck in the chain of a bike when she was 2 years old and eeeeeeek i have never been able to ride a bike without proper shoes on ever since.
Pogo says
Also something I just thought of is the way the bottom bracket is machined, depending on the bike, you could take the pedals off but not the crank arm, and that would definitely be a potential boo-boo causer.
Anon says
I am totally pro balance bike. My son went straight from the balance bike to a regular bike with no training wheels a little after he turned 4. Training wheels are a clutch and they don’t teach to you balance and proper riding because you are leaning on one of the training wheels.
Spirograph says
My kids looove their balance bikes. Like Ducky said, balance bikes don’t have a chain. They also don’t have brakes, so kids need to be careful on slopes. You could achieve something very similar by just not attaching pedals, but if your kid is 2 or 3, I’m not sure it’s worth it because they are likely to get a lot taller before they want a real bike with pedals. Balance bikes are <$50 new, and I'm sure you could find a used one for next to nothing. We started with balance bikes around age 2.5, and my 4.5 year old is still riding hers (which is almost cartoonishly small for her at this point, but she likes it). We'll get her a bike with pedals for her birthday or Christmas this winter and it will be a lot bigger.
If your child is already old enough (4+) for a bike with pedals and has never used a balance bike, taking the pedals off at first is a good way to help him/her learn to ride.
Jeffiner says
My daughter hated her balance bike, and rode it maybe 3 times. She enjoys her tricycle and scooter much more, and we recently got her a bike with training wheels, which she loves. Just another thing that is kid-dependent.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it is that easy to remove pedals from a lot of pedal bikes. There’s no obvious way to do that on the one we have.
Anon says
Similar to the weaning question above, how long did it take you to get a period after weaning? I weaned in May (at 12 months) and haven’t gotten it back yet. I had my hormones tested and my estrogen is super low (like menopause low) so the doctor said we should start iui with hormone injection since I want another baby soon. I took provera in hopes of restarting it and it didn’t work. Fertility treatment seems extreme considering that we conceived my baby after one month of trying naturally. And I’m only 29. I don’t really remember what my periods were like pre-baby unfortunately since I didn’t get them regularly on an iud for 5 years and then conceived the first month after removal. Anyone have similar wonky hormones and things corrected themselves naturally? We’d like to have another kid so I don’t know if we should go the iui route now or if waiting will be a waste of time…
Anon says
No personal experience with this (I got my period back at 4 months pp while still nursing 6-8 times/day, which is not the norm), but I would definitely try to conceive naturally for at least a few months. A couple of friends conceived (accidentally) before getting their periods back, so it’s definitely possible to conceive before having a normal period. Jumping to fertility treatments when you’re young, you have no known fertility issues and conceived your first very quickly seems kind of drastic to me.
Minnie says
I’m the OP from the question above, so obviously I’m also a member of the wonky hormone brigade and don’t have any guidance there. My advice on your other musing–should I start IUI now or give things time to sort themselves out?–is to do some backwards math from your ultimate goal, which is to have another baby. What would be your target date to be pregnant again? With that date in mind, when would you realistically start trying? (Bearing in mind how quickly you became pregnant the first time might have no bearing on your speed in conceiving a second time.) With that date in mind, assuming you needed to go the IUI route, when would you need to start that process? (Including setting up appointments, etc.–your doctor would likely have guidance on that.) This would give you a “Begin the IUI Process” date. That might give you a clearer picture of how long you would realistically want to give your hormones to get themselves together. I COMPLETELY sympathize with wanting to pause and see how your body sorts itself out. I don’t think you should view it as “wasting time”–as long as you’re ready to move by your “Begin the IUI Process” date, there’s no harm in a wait-and-see approach.
Anon says
This is an interesting way to look at it. I don’t have an exact date in mind. We always wanted 2 to 3 kids close in age. And my husband is late 30s so he’s more keen to do this sooner rather than later. We just never would have guessed that there would be any issues with that plan, especially given how easy getting pregnant was and how easy my pregnancy was in general. Haha. Iui is also not covered on our insurance so that’s another variable that it making me hesitate. The ob said he’s fine waiting a few cycles but didn’t seem hopeful that the estrogen would magically rebound. That’s why I was hoping someone had similar experience to share!
shortperson says
maybe this is a little woo, but perhaps this is a sign from your body that its not ready for another pregnancy yet. a lot of OBs recommend waiting until baby is 18 months before getting pregnant again.
Anonymous says
I think the advice is actually 18 months between births at minimum ideally. But there are some advantages for baby by waiting 18-24 months between pregnancies.
Anon says
My doctor also told me to wait 18 months (first birth to second conception) but it seems like that advice is somewhat conservative. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/11/01/663181674/how-long-should-older-moms-wait-before-getting-pregnant-again
Anonymous says
Recommendation I had heard was csections no closer than two years apart and WHO recommends 3-5 years between pregnancies.
Before getting pregnant again I would want to know why my estrogen is so low. A healthy pregnancy is much more likely if you are healthy when you get pregnant
rosie says
I agree that I would want to know why estrogen is low and why the provera did not seem to work. I would suggest getting a referral to an RE. Talking to an RE and even testing does not commit you to doing any fertility treatments, and this is really their area of expertise.
Anon says
This advice actually was from a re. My ob ordered the initial tests and the provera but referred me to an re when the results came in. The re basically told me that he doesn’t know why I’m not ovulating (and I’m definitely not with such low estrogen) and that sometimes these things just happen “unexplained.” I had no issues with my first pregnancy and so this whole “unexplained” response is also just not helpful.
rosie says
Unfortunately, a lot of fertility issues end up being in the “unexplained” category. You could consider a second opinion — for me, the RE needs to be able to explain all recommendations and answer all questions with evidence-backed reasoning or they are not the dr for me. Is the RE recommending clomid w/monitoring and then a trigger shot? You can ask what the success rate is for doing that protocol with IUI versus timed s*x (and if that would save you any money, since I think you said this would all be out of pocket). I do think it would be reasonable just to give yourself a bit more time as well.
Anonymous says
Did they explore the possibility of s pituitary tumor? That’s what caused my zero estrogen level in my late 20s. It was a big surgery but resolved my problems IMMEDIATELY.
puking anon says
I have a dose of diclegis left from 2017 (says discard after March 2018). Would you take it? Trying to get a new script for this pregnancy, but it takes a while to go through insurance issues. Have been taking unisom/b6 before bed, but last night couldn’t choke down the unisom (it’s uncoated and gross).
Anonymous says
I totally would.