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Elevated loungewear is having its moment. Remember when your only options were your old college hoodie and sweatpants, or work clothes? Now there’s a whole new category of fashionable loungewear — not even like activewear that you wear to brunch but can also wear to the gym. I’m not complaining, but I’m just trying to keep up! One addition I’d like to make to my closet is this sweatshirt by Marine Layer. I like how the rainbow stripe goes from the front and over the shoulder to the back. I’m not a fan of cropped styles, but I think I could probably pull off the “slightly cropped” silhouette and bring my wardrobe a little bit more up to date. The sweatshirt is $88 and available in two other colors in sizes XS–XL. Tate Crop Sweatshirt
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Daycare? says
Our daycare is set to reopen in two weeks and I’m strongly considering unenrolling my kids and hiring a nanny for whenever I to go back to the office but I’d appreciate your wise advice first. I have a 15 month old and 3.5 year old. We’ve always used daycare. The daycare has windowless rooms in a large office building. We are in a hot spot. Teachers will wear masks all day, the kids will not go outside at all, and kids will be encouraged not to touch each other. I believe these are the necessary precautions but the whole thing seems maybe not worth it given the girls’ ages? The daycare is pre-K and we had not planned on redshirting the 3.5 year old but she’s on the cusp so we could. I worry about her just being with one other person and her sister all day but also it seems much easier for all than navigating daycare drop off (regimented and at the door), potential closures, etc. And, we go out on daily walks and I hate to think of the girls indoors without any outings all summer long. My husband will be wfh for a long time but we’ll need some form of childcare when I go back to the office sometime soon. This all sucks.
Anon says
If you can afford the nanny, go for the nanny.
anon. says
We have kids close to these ages and we ARE sending them. We don’t reopen until June 15 (assuming all goes well), but decided the low risk was worth it. I strongly encourage you to read Emily Oster’s post “Grandparents and Daycare” and go through the decision tree. It’s really different for every family, and I found her decision tree very helpful.
asdf says
+1 Here is a link https://emilyoster.substack.com/p/grandparents-and-day-care
I plan to send my 2yo back to daycare when it opens. The chance that she gets very sick is minuscule (she has no chronic health conditions). While it’s possible that she will bring the virus back to us, we’re young(ish) and healthy. It would suck to be sick but the risk of serious complications is low for us.
Cb says
Go for the nanny. That sounds terrible. I realize guidance is changing in the midst of pandemic but isn’t a certain amount of outdoor time required by the state regulations? Some rumors that nurseries will open in August in Scotland and I feel less nervous about it because my son is outside probably 50% of the day which feels better from a disease prevention standpoint. One day I found him outside in the rain because he liked the feel of rain on his face.
Anonymous says
I would not want my children stuck indoors all day. I would hire the nanny, but wouldn’t make that a reason to redshirt.
Pogo says
Why can’t they go outside? I thought transmission was so much lower outside!
Daycare? says
They don’t have dedicated outdoor space so don’t want to risk all the people they’d come into contact with walking through downtown.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t ever send my kids to a day care without dedicated outdoor space, pandemic or no pandemic. Being confined all day in a windowless room is a surefire recipe for behavior problems at home. I’ve seen plenty of big-city day care centers with small outdoor play areas. Nanny for sure.
anon says
Unfortunately, not everyone has that option. We all do our best.
TheElms says
That’s great that that is your experience. Many people have different experiences. The DC downtown area has very few daycares that have dedicated outdoor space. Many people in DC use employer sponsored daycare (hi Federal government workers!) because otherwise the cost of daycare would be prohibitive and most of these daycares are in downtown DC. Most walk to a local nearby park (which is often less than 2 blocks away) and absent a pandemic its not really a problem. The kids get out at least once a day, sometimes twice a day unless the weather is bad.
Anon says
I think a lot of city daycares use public parks/playgrounds instead of a dedicated outdoor play space? I live in suburbia but this wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me as long as the kids were getting outside every day (in normal times).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, our old daycare in a close-in suburb to the big city didn’t have a dedicated outdoor space for one of the locations because there were a ton of nearby parks, which in regular times was great.
City Mom says
Yeah, wow — congrats to you on living in the burbs. Also on having kids with such obvious input-outputs.
Pogo says
Ah, ok. Good to know. They haven’t released any guidelines for our state and this would absolutely be a dealbreaker for me as well.
Clementine says
As a note: my daycare doesn’t have an opening date but sent out their guidelines and emphasized that going outside was going to be a key part of their day, to the point where they told us the disinfecting protocol for the playground between classes using it.
Anonymous says
Nanny, and I’d try to purchase some online preschool curriculum or workbooks for older kid to do when she’s 4. The nanny could do it just for 45 min/day during younger ones nap.
anon says
I am pro-daycare, but in this case, I’d go with the nanny.
Realist says
+1. Nanny makes so much sense for OP’s situation. Count me also as one of the people that can’t imagine no outdoor space for the children. I know we are all making trade offs, but that isn’t healthy to be stuck all day indoors with no fresh air or natural light.
Anonymous says
+1
anne-on says
+1. I think you can also ask the nanny to do some more formal ‘teaching’ of the older one in this situation (sight words, handwriting practice, small motor skills). I bet it would also save you from the normal daycare crud and the ensuing days off. My husband and I were saying the other day how nice it’s been to not get the usual winter parade of colds/flu/stomach bug this year (the one silver lining!!).
Not being able to get the kids outside would be a huge deal breaker for me.
Anonymous says
Get the nanny. I’d never like windowless day care and certainly not if they’re refusing to take them outside. And no need to think about holding your child back from kindergarten at this point either.
Amelia Bedelia says
go for the nanny if you can afford it.
we have been pleasantly surprised at how well our children have bonded home from school with only each other. Granted, we have plenty of room and an outdoor space. i have loved how creative my girls have become with only each other.
Anonymous says
I think I’m switching to a nanny. I’ve accepted to Covid risk but the new precautions sound unpleasant particularly for very small kids. I just don’t see it going well for us. I’d rather have daycare because I work from home but oh well.
Anonymous says
Why won’t they go outside? This is the big problem for me. If anything, I would want my kids outside ALL day! Germs will die faster and you can hose it all down. Plus more space to run around.
WWYD says
answered above – bc they use public outdoor spaces/playgrounds. I had the same question!
CCLA says
Could you do some sort of combo, sending the kids back in the morning and having a sitter get them early to take them outside for the last couple of hours of the day? The logistics of this may be too much, but especially if you’re in a walkable area it might be doable and would address the outdoor time. I realize you’d pay full freight for daycare but if finances are a concern this may still be cheaper than a full time nanny. Like others above, we’re probably sending our kids back, but the lack of outdoor time would definitely give me pause and would probably tip me toward hiring a nanny.
anon says
This may be a good compromise if the logistics are workable.
Strategy Mom says
Go the nanny route and get on a waitlist for a nursery school for the 3.5 yr old in case school is back in the fall (or do gymboree or something similar for the 3.5 yr old). Once people can socialize again, they will find another nanny or two with kids similar ages to hang out with and that helps with the socialization. Nanny will be able to find safe outings. Our kiddos are “quarantining” with another nanny family and we’ve found some hidden parks where the kids can run around on the grass.
anon says
I am having a lot of despair over what the summer is going to look like. As in, what are we going to do for fun? I am a total summer lover, and pools/lakes/water is always a big part of what we do. The pools may reopen — but will we want to be in a crowded public place? The public beaches are closed and fenced off, although they’re still keeping the kayak/canoe launch sites open. So we can do that, at least.
Any ideas on what you’ll be doing this summer? It doesn’t have to be water-related — really anything that sparks joy for your family. Maybe family movie nights outdoors? Fire pit nights?
Anonymous says
We have been hiking a ton (kids on both our backs). I’m in MD which is fairly strict but they’ve still opened up beaches for walking. Maybe in a month your state will too? Lakes are open for walking as well. I have no Hope pools will open. Anyways we’ve just been going to every single county/state park and enjoying nature. We would do a fire pit but we have a mobile baby who we think would get into it, so that’s a few years away.
Anon says
At least in my area, pools and water parks will have restricted capacity for a while still, so I don’t think they will be crowded and I think outdoor areas with chlorinated water are relatively safe. Beaches should be opening in most places soon? Even in CA they are opening some beaches now.
My motto for summer is “outside is ok.” So we’ll do pools and beaches, hiking, picnics in the park, playgrounds and zoos. The main goal will be to avoid indoor public places, which isn’t difficult in the summer with so many outdoor options.
Cb says
Yes, I think that’s a good approach. Hiking, country parks, picnics, etc. Playgrounds aren’t open here but I can’t imagine they won’t try and open them by the summer.
avocado says
I just bought a large inflatable pool that the whole family can lounge in. We plan to use our fire pit a lot. Rent paddleboards and kayaks (I would purchase, but we don’t have a car big enough to haul them or garage space to keep them). Bike rides. Long walks with the dog. All of our neighbors with small kids have bought inflatable waterslides and seem to be loving them.
Anonymous says
Bike rides, hikes, walks, runs. I don’t live near beaches, but I’m in Iowa which is mostly reopening at this point, and pools are specifically excluded for the time-being. Lots of cities here have decided not to open public pools for the summer at all already. I think the state government just doesn’t want pools open for Memorial Day weekend to avoid large crowds then. I’m guessing they’ll allow pools to open sometime in early June. Our country club has a pool that we’ll go to as much as we can. With the pandemic, when kiddo goes back to daycare, we’re probably going to pick her up around 2:30 or 3:00. My guess is we’ll head over to the pool at least a few times a week. You could check out private pool situations. I think they’re much more likely to open if allowed.
Anonymous says
Our beaches and lakes are reopening. Maybe yours will as well?
SC says
Our summers are hot, humid and miserable. We had a beautiful spring, and we’ve been fortunate to have a few extra weeks of it. But we usually spend summers inside (indoor playgrounds, children’s museum, etc) or swimming. We don’t have any beaches particularly close, and the nice ones are about 4 hours away, so a little long for a day trip.
FIL has a pool and is comfortable with us going over to swim, so we will probably make use of his pool a lot over the summer. Honestly, other than that, I think we’re going to have a lot of screen time, Legos, and train building.
Anon says
I just ordered a larger inflatable pool (rather than the wading pool) for the backyard that the adults can sit in with kiddo. Even if our outdoor pool opens, not sure I will want to go. We have a fire pit, but not sure how comfortable we are using it (kiddo is 2.5 and isn’t the best listener so it has mostly gone dormant since she went mobile). Because I work late, summer often means evening outdoor playtime (because it is still light when I get home (or in this case finish up)), lots of grilling – we had flood lights installed on the back of the house last year, so that will help extend the evening playtime as well. TBH the DC-area summer is so miserable (I’m a cold-weather person) I spend as little time outside as possible unless it’s below 80 or we are in the pool.
octagon says
can you share what pool you got? I am having decision fatigue.
Anon says
I was late to the game, very few left in stock anywhere, but this one popped back in stock yesterday: https://www.target.com/p/10-39-x-22-34-deluxe-rectangular-family-inflatable-above-ground-pool-sun-squad-8482/-/A-77334565 No idea if it is good or bad. Also ordered a tarp (12×14) to go under it to try and extend the longevity.
Strategy Mom says
all of the above plus berry picking, camping, weird drive-thru safari experiences that exist in my state, buying a small intex pool, smores at a backyard fire pit, building a play house in the backyard
Doula says
I’m expecting our first child in October, and (pre-Covid) had planned on hiring a doula. How are other people handling this given that in-person meetings are pretty much eliminated, so it’s likely we’ll never meet our doula in person prior to the birth and that she won’t be able to attend the birth?
Also happy to take any recs in the northern suburbs of NYC.
Anonymous says
I’d wait to see how things are looking in August and start this process then.
Anonymous says
+1 – I also think you will likely be able to have a doula attend the birth by October. Maybe I am wrong, but even NYC is projected to be ready for “Phase 1” of reopening by Mid-June, and the suburbs should be in better shape.
Anonymous says
There is no point to hiring a doula you’ll never meet in person who wouldn’t be at the birth. Wait until August and see what it’s like.
Anonymous says
Where I live, doulas are booked in the first trimester. If you want a doula, I’d at least start making inquiries and meeting candidates by video now. If you can book with a deposit and cancel later without losing too much money, that would probably give you the most options.
AnonATL says
I agree to wait. I’m in my third trimester and haven’t hired a doula because my hospital won’t allow more than 1 support person. Since this is our first, that 1 person will no question be my husband. I don’t personally think a doula would be effective for me via skype/facetime, but some people have gone that route.
Hospital policies are changing rapidly, so I would definitely hold off on the decision for a bit longer. Even if you wait till August and pick one, your due date might roll around in October and you are suddenly only allowed 1 person in the hospital with you.
If you are really interested in one, you might also look into a birthing center or similar where they might have more relaxed policies about support people.
doulas says
I’d reach out and see if you can video interview a couple of them. I’m sure they’ve been thinking about this too and have contingency plans. I used a doula for my first and it was the best money we ever spent. Their value is above and beyond just delivery support at the hospital. I met with her a few times before birth and she was helpful then with things like nutrition, exercises for various aches I was having, planning for birth and newborn days, and also she discovered my baby was breech at 36 weeks (my Ob confirmed at my next apt), and recommended a Spinning Babies technique to help the baby flip (she did!). Also she labored with me at home for hours until it was time to go to the hospital, applying counter pressure through contractions, suggesting different positions, folding lbaby laundry, helping my husband get our bags ready, installing the car seat etc. I think if I were only allowed 1 person I’d have my husband hold an Ipad to Facetime the Doula.
WWYD says
There may be an open position in my department that would technically be a lateral but more responsibility and an important check box for my career. Comp would theoretically be higher but in the current climate I’m not holding my breath.
Under normal circumstances I’d go for it, but I’m 6 months pregnant and anticipate a 4mo leave; also with the COVID situation our childcare is a giant question mark. The hiring manager is my current boss and he knows all of this and said it wouldn’t factor into his decision if I were the right person for the job, but that obviously could just be lip service.
Would you apply? I’m nervous about actually getting the job and being in over my head with lack of childcare and then a newborn. But the feminist in me is of course like, don’t think about that! Lean in! Ugh.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This would be the same company, right? So you’d still be entitled to the same leave? Perhaps with the hopefully higher salary, you could hire more childcare if daycares aren’t open by then. Yes, it may be more stressful with two kids, but honestly, going back to any work in that situation is. I would probably apply and then evaluate if/when you get the details of the position and comp.
Emily S. says
My BFF likes to say, “Carry yourself with the confidence of a middle aged white man.” In this case, I think that theoretical man would not hesitate to apply and only when he got the job would he let himself worry about getting it all done.
I was pregnant when I interviewed for the job I have now and so worried about what it would look like taking leave so soon after starting, and trying to wrap my head around returning from leave to what still be a new job that I almost didn’t apply. But my husband said, “If you don’t apply, you’ll never know. And what if you get it? And I think you’ll get it.” And in your situation, you don’t even have to worry about whether you tell them in the interview that you are pregnant!
Another way to look at it: would it be a raised eyebrow if you didn’t apply? Would that be held against you or stymie your career growth? And finally, what changes if you apply and don’t get it?
octagon says
I’d apply. There are a lot of unknowns and even if you don’t get it now, I think you want to throw your hat into the ring. The fact that the hiring manager is your current boss is a huge positive — it means he’s familiar with your work and you have built up some capital that may factor into the decision. If they had an external hire it would take months for that person to get up to speed, right? Plus that person would be an unknown in terms of performance. In light of that,a 4 month leave is nothing.
Anonymous says
Apply! Everything is harder with two kids. But you can do it! It might be tough. And you can always turn it down if the comp. doesn’t come through.
Strategy Mom says
I’d normally say no, but if the hiring manager is your current boss, it’s a big yes in my mind! You’ll figure out childcare – that’s a now issue, not necessarily a longterm issue
programmer says
Love this pic! I work at a fairly casual startup where I’ve realized my best bet is “slightly fancier sweatshirts”, and this fits right into that.
Ifiknew says
My son almost 1 is allergic to dairy, eggs and peanuts and certain tree nuts too. I’m having such a horrible time finding meals he can eat that the rest of the family can too. I know no one on real life with this many allergies. He also has eczema that improves with steroid cream then comes back a few days later. Has anyone had a child like this? Does anyone know of a support group or recipe blog? We have an allergist.
Anonymous says
https://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/recipes-diet.aspx?RecipeKeywords=&cat=17&Allergen=10&Allergen=4&Allergen=26&Allergen=15
This website is great. Let’s you filter by allergy.
Clementine says
First, that’s hard and I’m sorry. It’s overwhelming at first to deal with this type of a thing.
Something that I’m really good at though is cooking for different dietary needs. I actually have lists of ‘acceptable’ foods for different needs and mix and match.
Is your family vegetarian? If not, a friend with similar kid allergies (+ wheat) told me that her meal formula was carb (rice or potatoes or GF pasta) + a meat or fish + a veggie. Would this formula work for your family? Start by taking the dishes everyone can/will eat and then expanding.
Also, highly suggest Daiya dairy free cheese and the website kidwithfoodallergies.org. For baking, vegan baking sites (obviously ensuring it’s nut free) are your friend. I can tell you that Smitten Kitchen’s plush coconut cake will work and everyone will be happy.
GCA says
I’m sorry! He’s very young, so hopefully he outgrows some of these allergies. We have friends with small kids allergic to dairy, eggs and tree nuts; when we hosted them, it was a lot of buffet-style things (eg make your own burrito bowls or rice bowls, customize your own pizza). At this age, because he’s still learning to eat small amounts of things, could you make separate meals for him for the time being?
Anonymous says
My second was allergic to eggs and all nuts at that age. It was relatively easy because we were in control of all her food, but stressful because we had no experience with food allergies.
Things she did well with that we all ate: roasted sweet potato chunks, meatloaf, eggless pasta and marinara or any non-cheese sauce, roasted potato chunks. Rice and quinoa weren’t easy to eat—we served them, but I’m not sure much went in the mouth. While we are strong on eat as a family, we didn’t enforce eating the same thing as much as we do when they grow bigger. Sunbutter and jelly grew to be a common lunch in place of peanut butter. Both my kids eat it because it’s in schools (I think it’s vile but they’re used to it and like it).
And she grew out of ALL of it over time, with peanuts the last just before kindergarten. May not be the case for you, but these things evolved (with lots of time at the allergist and giving blood).
Op says
Thank you!! Did you do anything to help her outgrow them? Did you do an Ige blood test and if so do you recall what her numbers were? I know it’s rare to outgrow the nuts so I’m not holding my breath but the dairy and eggs atleast so he can have pizza and cake at a birthday party!
anne-on says
Our allergist wouldn’t let us do food challenges until a year, and only after bloodwork (Ige test). There are stages – for us we were ok with baked eggs very quickly, then raw eggs, then cooked milk. Raw milk took until ~3, but the food challenges were VERY reassuring in that I could see exactly how much it took for them to react.
Fwiw – Rice krispies treats with coconut oil was our go to birthday party treat food for a long time. And once baked eggs are ok (fingers crossed!) box cake mixes and box icing work well! Good luck.
Anonymous says
We were strict nut avoidance for at least a year. Egg was a science experiment—scrambled eggs were a no, but she could tolerate some baked egg. Doc wanted us to keep feeding it to her. So she’s be okay with a bite of zucchini bread, but three bites meant hives all over and Benadryl.
I think her highest Ige was peanut at close to 10, so they were low enough that doc was always optimistic she’d grow out of them. I was less optimistic, but you have to plan for the life you have, right?
Younger kids have a high level of allergies (more than you think). It’s common that kids are allergic to foods and the preschool parties would have a couple kids that always brought alternate foods. Kids are used to it—we enforced no shared food at home, preschool and daycare also enforced it. Similar to sunbutter is normal now so are no sharing food rules and food allergies. Find a vegan bakery or easy vegan cake recipe—they won’t realize they aren’t eating egg or butter.
OP says
Wow that is great. Most of my sons allergies are 20 and above (various tree nuts like coconut, along with peanut eggs and dairy) with peanut being the highest at 48. I don’t think he will outgrow them for a long time and my doctor said it might take longer as well since his numbers are so high.howrver ill be curious to get another ige test in a year, the first one was at 9 months. Not sure if that makes a difference.
Anonymous says
You might try the Iowa Girl Eats blog. She has celiac so is gluten free and at least one of her kids had a dairy allergy for a while. Most of her dinner recipes are gluten and dairy free or she’ll give substitutions to make those recipes dairy free. I would say it is common for her snack recipes to include peanuts and other nuts, but if you focus on dinner-type meals from there, you’ll probably find some good stuff. Our favorites include:
https://iowagirleats.com/crock-pot-black-bean-rice-soup/
https://iowagirleats.com/crock-pot-chicken-and-wild-rice-soup/
SC says
My son is not allergic, but he’s not a big fan of dairy or nuts or meat, and he absolutely hates eggs. It’s not as hard because he can have baked goods with eggs and dairy in them, but we still end up cooking without a lot of those ingredients, or leaving them off for him. His favorite meal is red beans and rice. Really, any legume plus any carb works–burritos, mujadara, Cuban black beans, chickpeas and pasta, legume-based soups and stews, etc.
If you eat meat, the formula of meat + carb + veg is a good one. We use it frequently, but it does get a little boring.
Explore dishes from other cuisines, especially Asian, Middle Eastern, and African cuisines. There will rarely (almost never) be milk or cream in those dishes, and there tends to be less cheese and yogurt (more a condiment, which you can leave off, than a main component). There may be more nuts in those cuisines, but I think you’ll find plenty of recipes you can use.
If you own a lot of cookbooks or have several cooking blogs you follow already, I highly recommend the website “eat your books.” You tell the site which cookbooks you own and select the online websites you follow. The recipes are indexed by ingredient and all sorts of other criteria. You can then filter by ingredients, and you can also filter to exclude ingredients. I have about 50K recipes on my “bookshelf,” of which about 16K are classified as “main courses.” I just filtered my bookshelf for main courses without dairy, eggs, or nuts, and there were still 8200 recipes.
Realist says
Thanks for the cookbook website, that is amazing
SC says
I love it. It really helps when you have stuff you need to use up in your pantry or refrigerator. We had a salad with grapefruit in it a couple of weeks ago, and we had about a cup of grapefruit juice leftover. I looked up cocktails with grapefruit juice, and DH and I got drunk off Brown Derbies after Kiddo went to bed. They’re bourbon, honey, and grapefruit juice, and they’re delicious.
Honestly, I didn’t know until OP’s question prompted me to look that you could filter to exclude ingredients. It’ll be great for dinner parties when we’re allowed to have those again. You can get very, very precise with your filters.
Op says
Wow you guys are truly the best. Thank you so much for all these kind and helpful responses. So so what I needed this am.
Realist says
Most Whole30 and paleo meals would probably fit this diet, just exclude any tree nuts as needed. Plant Paradox recipes might work too, depending on the dairy restrictions. (The paleo plans are usually your best bet if you are doing a meal planning service, just watch out for nuts.) If you reframe this as a chance for the whole family to eat healthier, that can help. Almost all the experts converge on a diet that is heavy in fresh vegetables with healthy proteins and fruits as being optimal for health. They might differ in the details, but that seems to be the core of what research and evidence shows. My own family eats a pretty restrictive diet. I try to make sure half of everyone’s plate is half vegetables for lunch and dinner (child often gets more fruit than we eat). I flavor things with healthy fats (ghee, olive oil, avocado oil) and spices. We usually get most carbs from fruits/vegetables with very little grains except some rice and oats. My child is allergic to most nuts and doesn’t eat gluten or dairy (she is not technically allergic to gluten/dairy, but through a lot of trial and error we figured out that they were major triggers for her asthma). Overall, it has been a good thing for our family and improved everyone’s health. It is a major adjustment if you have been eating the typical American diet your whole life, and not a journey I would have chosen for myself, but it has turned out to be a good thing for our family.
Anonymous says
Oldest is allergic to dairy, egg, fish, hazelnut, peanut. She can eat pistachios, almonds, macadamia nuts. Haven’t tried walnuts or pecans. Vegan pesto is great for pasta lunches – lots of recipes online. Barney’s brand a really good almond butter made in an almond only facility. You don’t have to cook from scratch all the time, but it does take a lot of label reading to determine which products are okay and which are not.
DH and I split cooking so we have a set meal plan – slow cooker chili (jamie oliver recipe), tacos (beef/fish depending on mood), vegan pad thai (use pistachios instead of peanuts), spaghetti with jar of tomato sauce and turkey meatballs, BBQ chicken with potatoes and salad, homemade pizza just leave off cheese for oldest, beef stew (winter), Steak and fries with roast carrots, chicken wraps, Vegan risotto (DH does about 3 different varieties). Basically meat protein + carb +veggies will get you a fair number of combinations.
When we have fish for us and other kids, we substitute chicken fingers for her. I also do a fair amount of homemade minimuffins for snacks. Veggies or crackers with hummus or guac or salsa is another good snack. Wow butter or Barney’s butter sandwiches as well as tomato soup are good lunch options.
For eczema – scent free laundry detergent, no dryer sheets, scent free soap, cotton snug fit pyjamas. Try different lotions and put on wet skin after lukewarm bath – we like Cerave but I know other had luck with Aveeno.
Anne says
Yes – there are amazing facebook groups. Just search the allergies and join the biggest ones. It’s such a helpful supportive community.
Anonymous says
Look at TheAllergyChef on Instagram. My husband has allergies and I’m trying to navigate keeping him safe but also making sure my kids are exposed to different foods.
Learning brands that have not had cross contamination issues is helpful so you can keep your child safe. We still verify for products that we have used for years. For instance, recently we purchased Hershey’s chocolate bars. They must have been processed in different factories as one did not have a nut allergen warning and a different size had a warning
Clementine says
I feel like I’ve kinda hit the wall today. The last straw is that I think my fridge is acting up? (Note: anybody else feel like their childhood fridges lasted for 25 years and now they last 5-8 years max???)
I’m doing all the things but I think maybe the sleep deprivation + constant underlying stress + lack of adult interaction (I’m an extreme extrovert) may be taking a toll. I’m fine and will get through but man… I kinda wish I could just take 2-3 days off.
Cb says
Yes, me too! And my husband has to go into the office tomorrow so I lose a day there.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I notice that my mood and patience is way worse when I have even a half hour less of sleep (like today, so I could work out…) Based on what you’ve written here, you’re doing A LOT, work and childcare wise. Any chance you can hire someone to come over to babysit so that you can actually rest and restore? We all deserve it, moreso if you’re doing solo childcare/work.
avocado says
Sleep makes everything else so much more bearable. Is there a way your husband could ensure that you get two or three nights of 8 – 10 hours’ uninterrupted sleep?
Appliances definitely don’t last as long as they did when we were kids. It also seems like fixtures and appliances wait until the worst possible time to break down. I’ve already had to replace a light fixture and a faucet since the beginning of lockdown.
Clementine says
Unfortunately, spouse has a job that takes him away for long periods. I’ve been solo parenting for a while and it will last for a while longer (think: months).
avocado says
Oh, that’s awful. I agree with Boston Legal Eagle on the babysitter, then.
Clementine says
So… I come from a healthcare family… so most of my normal sitters are out because they’re around it so much.
Also, my normal sitters have left the area (grad students…) so they’re out. My other backup is a nanny for an ICU doc…
My only option is married to someone who (although they won’t admit it) is high risk for multiple reasons.
I swear, I’m not a martyr, just… limited options. I’ll also add that really making things awesome at this moment is the epic tantrum the toddler is currently throwing (between my knees, actually) because toddler wants to run around the house with a hard topped water bottle in their mouth. Because I like this kid having all their teeth and don’t want to deal with the inevitable bloody lip, kid is not getting what they want.
Protests are ongoing.
(Also, thanks. Just venting makes me feel better.
Anon says
you posted the other day about WFH with 3 young children while solo parenting. i beyond do not understand how you do that. you are super mom! what does your DH do? is there any way for you to get some help briefly? or to just phone it in for a few days and do all takeout/frozen meals, extra screen time – i promise your kids will be ok.
Clementine says
I think you’re right and I just need to phone it in… Also, I’m considering your message as permission to just… let my kid keep watching some dinosaur video (educational? maybe?) so I can power through another 20 of hyper efficiency.
Toddler stopped tantruming and dinner is going to be a frozen pizza and everything will be FINE. Also, apparently my fridge temp is still within the ‘safe’ range? Rearranged some items to make sure the dairy stays coldest.
Katala says
Our 3yo broke a piece of the hinge on our fridge door so it wasn’t closing itself. Apparently the door stayed slightly ajar all night and we were panicked that the fridge broke. It took like 48 hours (of normal use, probably would be much faster if said 3 yo didn’t open it constantly) to get back to normal temp. Hopefully it could be something like that and it will fix itself!
Anonymous says
I’m hiding in my bedroom because I do not have the capacity to try to figure out how to motivate my 7 year old to do his school work and didn’t want him to see me dissolve in tears of frustration/despair for the 2nd time today. He has become so moody and easily frustrated in the last month and I just don’t know how to help him. I feel like getting through each day requires a degree in child psychology (and I don’t have one). We are in NYC so have more than a month left of school and even the early phase of reopening is several weeks away. AAAK! All the advice I can find is so basic – sleep, schedule, exercise, limits, etc. All of which I am sure helps but when you’re doing it all already what then?
Anonymous says
Disclaimer: I am so much not an expert on this stuff. But honestly we’ve been pretty lenient with kiddo (4.5) during this situation. She just needs some wins, honestly. And we don’t have the energy to be strict and stick to our guns. So I think it is okay to let both you and your son decide that this blows and you’re going to take life down a few notches. Is his school work required? Can you bribe him?
Anonymous says
My kid is in 1st grade and I talked to the teacher. The result of the convo was that the spirit of the work and learning should be done. My kid joins the group calls (limited). She does what she can on her own, and either DH or I do a chunk of the more tricky/boring stuff with her on weekends. We save the entire week of math for the weekend when we can focus on it with her- so much easier than in little dribbles. Then we allow reading- all the time. I bought and borrowed from neighbors like 50 chapter books for her. She is in heaven, and I am happy. Bored? Go outside or read a book. She sometimes just lays outside reading.
I gave her free reign of the kitchen for an afternoon to invent drinks. She and my preschooler made a mild mess but had great fun mixing up different juices and seltzers and adding fruit garnish. Not gonna lie, I added a little vodka into one and called it family happy hour ;).
I do try hard not to let her have tons of mindless screen time because for her, it is a detriment to her mood.
Anonymous says
So when I went downstairs for lunch, he was fine and had done 2 other assignments. Unfortunately neither of us is very resilient right now, due to cumulative stress I’m sure. I immediately start to panic whenever something small upsets him. He shuts down and won’t tell me what is wrong, and then I get frustrated because I can’t fix it and it is hard to focus on my work when I know he is upset, so it is hard to tolerate the constant freak outs. His teachers are totally reasonable; I’m just a rule follower and am also nervous about setting up an expectation where school work is partially optional – it just seems like a slippery slope. But I do need to let go more and trust him to get it done eventually. I tend to want to check it all off quickly so I can focus better on my own work. My husband is a teacher, so he tends to be more busy in the morning/early afternoon, and we have an informal pattern of me being in charge in the morning, and him in the afternoon. But he is totally willing and able to help with the schooling, and is often better at it than me. It is just hard to find the balance. Most of the time the problem is not that my son doesn’t understand the actual thing he is supposed to learn, but rather he’s frustrated by tech problems, like he doesn’t know how to type or format text in a Google doc, his teachers pasted a worksheet image in a document so there is no way to fill in the answers, spell check is pointing out every error and upsetting him, etc.
Clementine says
Update: Thank you for letting me vent and just… commiserating? Validating?
Toddler stopped tantruming. Everybody ate lunch. I crushed 2 critical assignments and did my hour long conference call without issues. I’m already 6 hours into the day and Toddler is napping.
Also, I let myself use TV. They 100% watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while I was on my call while eating lunch and… they were angels. In fact, I told my oldest he could watch Rescue Rangers (side note: they’re Magnum PI and Indiana Jones!) with headphones on during my next call and he told me I was ‘Such a kind Mommy.’
…Thanks kid. I needed that.
Tea/Coffee says
Amen.
In the past 24 hours, mentioned our hope of sending younger DS to in-person K in the fall, and was basically laughed at by our very levelheaded ped as well as the environmental health and safety people at work (they are on the front line of our co’s covid response). This just makes me want to crawl under a rock. Older kid (ELem) has not learned a single thing in online school, they are still reviewing what they learned the first week of March. The thought of trying to do K online, oy. DH and I are toying with the idea that I go PT (if this happens) and we homeschool both kids. I am not excited by this and have PMS and need chocolate and wine stat. But have to zoom with my boss in 15, so that will have to wait LoL
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m sorry to hear that your ped said that. Our ped, who granted is a mom to kids in school herself, was pretty hopeful that school would be open in the fall and was pretty reassured by what’s she seen that this very rarely affects young kids too seriously.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry but your pediatrician laughed? Find a new one.
Strategy Mom says
Don’t give hope up yet! I think there will be a big push for in-person school for younger kids based on what I’m reading and what we’re seeing in the south in a city that is probably on the better side of things and a few weeks ahead of the curve. Our preschool is planning on going in person in the fall. And our ped is a senior leader on the AAP (or APA, whatever it is called) and seems to have a different take than yours.
Covid and maternity leave says
Any other pregnant ladies struggling with when/how to return to work? My law firm is reopening and expects everyone back. I’m relatively early in the third trimester and really concerned about the risks. It’s a large office with no mask requirement, etc.
I could request to continue working from home at least for a few weeks, given my pregnancy, and I think it’d be hard for them to say no — but I’m worried about the impact of doing that on top of going on maternity leave. I could just bite the bullet and go back and try to hide in my office; but I can’t really avoid elevators and restrooms and people at my work aren’t really taking this seriously (planning in-person meetings even though they’re technically not allowed, etc.)
This all feels like a no-win situation.
Anon says
I would request to work from home for the duration of my pregnancy.
Anon says
Same. I’m in my second trimester, and my circumstances are different because I was full-time WFH prior to COVID-19, but I did travel regularly (1-2 times per month) for work. I will not be traveling for work until probably 2022, given current situation.
Realist says
+1. Consider getting a doctor’s note/recommendation if that would help and is possible.
Nelly Yuki says
Agree with this. I’m in my second trimester, but my doctor’s office supports this and has offered to write me a note. I may have to go to some meetings or one day of court, but otherwise I will be home.
In terms of impact, since I have been working from home (I told them I was pregnant the day before everything closed), I have been vigilant about being responsive to emails and billing or recording 8 hours of work each day. If you can “keep your numbers up,” I think you’ll be fine.
Anonymous says
+1. I’m second tri, but am not planning to go back in-person til after mat leave. I definitely would not go back third tri. What if you/your partner got COVID? I’d be worried partner wouldn’t be allowed in the delivery room if they were positive.
Anon says
+1. Caveat that my firm is doing a phased reopening (with 25% people, then everyone but on alternative weeks so really 50%), masks required, one way hallways, limitations on number of people in restrooms (good luck enforcing that – what will we have, occupancy sensors?), etc., and anyone high risk (and they’re allowing folks to self-define high risk) can continue WFH indefinitely for now.
Pogo says
Given my company’s phased reopening, I don’t think I would be allowed back prior to my maternity leave anyway, but if we did reopen, I might go in but wouldn’t attend meetings. Mostly that’s because I really trust our task force and the effort they’ve put into this, and we wouldn’t be allowed back til it was safe. Also at no one are we being asked to go back – it’s all voluntary right now. If in your shoes, I would probably request to continue working from home and provide doctor’s note if you really need it.
anon says
Please tell me I’m not the only person struggling with being around my family so much? I love them and of course the extra time together is nice, but I feel so suffocated! Like I’ve lost all freedom and independence to do my own thing without comment or question. I didn’t realize how much I relied on my commute and lunch break to decompress and be alone. Once the kids are in bed, I pretty much want nothing to do with my DH. Not because I’m upset with him, but because I just want to be by myself! I desire no affection whatsoever; my DH is the opposite. I’m a pretty hardcore introvert even in the best of times, and I fear I’m just becoming a straight-up misanthrope. I am getting up earlier than everyone to exercise or whatever … can’t even tell you how much I dread the sound of people’s bedroom doors opening because then it’s OVER.
How can I become more tolerant of the constant noise and activity and being needed? I feel like this is a level of parenting and people-ing that I never signed up for. One of my kids is becoming more clingy than ever, despite getting hours of 1-on-1 attention from both of us during the day. I understand it, because she’s home all the time and her needs aren’t being met, either, but I just have no idea how to be on all the time without losing my freaking mind. I feel like such a defective mom and wife right now.
Anon says
I don’t have great advice, but I’m in the exact same boat. I think it’s pretty normal.
Anonymous says
The only thing I can offer is talk to DH about an evening schedule maybe? Right now my DH is working a lot in the evenings after kiddo goes to bed, and that helps. But basically, I have a maximum of three evening to give to him right now. Is it fair? Not really. Is it survival? Yes. So maybe say, “hey let’s plan that Tuesday and Saturday nights after bedtime are for us to reconnect?” and go from there. In any event, after kiddo goes to bed, I need 30 minutes alone before I can hang out with DH. He respects that.
anon says
Yeah, I think we may have to try something like this. And it’s hard! I feel like I’m rejecting my DH when that’s not my intent at all — but for the sake of my own mental health, I really need that decompression time.
anne-on says
Agreed. I literally told my husband for mother’s day that I wanted to watch a rom-com, upstairs in our office, with the cat and wine by myself. He knows he’s married to an introvert and he (mostly) gets it. Honestly, the other thing that works for me is trading chores for child care. Sometimes popping in my airpods and cleaning for an hour or two alone while DH handles dinner/bed/bath is great.
Pogo says
Many days DH will take LO outside to play for an hour while I prep dinner while listening to a podcast. It is the absolute best. This was true of non-pandemic times, too, but now it is like my sanctuary.
Pogo says
same. I’m not a night owl by nature, so 10pm is when I’m ready to head up to bed, and sometimes DH is just getting done working or doing whatever hobby chores he has (this is my term for things that guys do around the house that SOUNDS productive but really has little added value to the moment – like cleaning the hot tub, for example). I did sit with him while he re-potted his tomato seedlings last night at 10pm, but had zero desire to help.
Boston Legal Eagle says
You’re not a defective mom and wife. None of us signed up to be SAHPs and working parents all at the same time, while not being able to go anywhere or see anyone else. This is just hard.
Kids are tough to be alone from, but I use screen time to sort of get a break from the constant requests/commentary. It doesn’t work so well with the 1.5 year old, but something he’ll watch and I can just scroll on my phone or listen to a podcast. I’ve also found that putting both kids in the stroller and going for a walk while listening to a podcast is nice. As for husband, can you tell him that you need, say an hour of true alone time after the kids are in bed, and then you can both hug on the couch and watch a show or whatever? My husband’s main love language is physical touch, whereas mine isn’t, but I understand it’s important to him.
Anonymous says
I cope with time outside and wine. Not necessarily in that order.
But seriously, my garden looks amazing. Nobody volunteers to help me and I do not care.
Anon says
I’m not sure if this is about garden or “garden” but either way I love it!
Anonymous says
Me too! I go for a long walk in the dark after the kids go to bed most nights. And I spend a lot more time weeding the (actual) garden than I probably need to. The kids like that I’m outside at the same time they are, but are not interested in helping for more than 3 min, which is fine with me.
Introvert says
Solidarity. I could have written the exact same thing. Ugh. It is getting harder as time goes on too.
Anonymous says
Same. I wrote the same thing in fewer words yesterday. Ugh.
Ashley says
+ a million — same here
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Not sure if it’s your thing, but I’ve started getting up early to go for an hour long run with just the dog and a podcast. It REALLY helps, both the exercise and the alone time.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Also I’ve been trying to take one evening a week to myself and that helps too.
Cycling lockdown? says
Have you seen the new 50 day lockdown 30 days easing proposal? It looks like 18 months of this insanity is really on the table. Thoughts about how this would impact childcare decisions?
anon says
I don’t see how this is sustainable for 18 months. WTF are parents supposed to do? Out of desperation, people will probably choose more “unsafe” arrangements than they would if we all could agree on some baseline precautions to keep people safe.
Realist says
No one is coming to save us. I don’t know what that means. But no one is coming to save us. Our federal government has done this to other families before (think black families on their roofs waiting for lifeboats that never came after Katrina), and here we are now.
Realist says
You can just look at any proposal and see that working families/mothers are last on the list of priorities. Public school for alternating days. 2-week quarantines after exposure. Gyms that open before daycares. The careers of working mothers are not a priority to anyone in charge of anything right now.
Anon says
+1 This is the most frustrating thing about the whole situation to me.
Pogo says
ugh, for real. The excuse I heard was “well, it’s a lot harder to make daycare safe than gyms because kids touch everything and won’t wear masks” etc. Sure, but lots of things are hard and we still get them done because they are a priority in a functioning society. Or, if the answer is “we can’t make them safe”, I need to know that now so I can hire a nanny. I’m getting pretty annoyed at this point with our government – the states having to do everything themselves, so different regulations 12 miles from my house in one direction, lack of transparency on how decisions were arrived it, etc. I get that it’s hard. I truly do. But some empathy from elected officials would be nice.
Anonymous says
The problem is that these decisions are being made by uneducated politicians on the basis of lobbying, not science. Apparently gym owners and restauranteurs have a stronger lobby than working moms, which doesn’t really surprise me.
Anonymous says
POTUS literally said the other day that men have important things to do and it’s the wife’s job to wash the dishes, so clearly there is no tone being set anywhere near the top that families might have two careers to account for.
DH’s office is in a county that is Phase 1 reopening, but where we live is still under a local stay at home order. He’s also apparently the only person in his office who has kids and a spouse who also works. His (old white man) boss thought it was totally fine to give him 1 day notice that he should be in the office every day this week. To DH’s credit, he said: Nope, can’t do it. I’ll take personal leave if you need me to, but daycare and school are closed and I have to evaluate my childcare options.
Eek says
Is this actually on the table in the US? I hadn’t seen it until googling just now, so I’m trying to piece together what it means – and I’m not coming up with much.
Anonymous says
Haven’t seen the specific proposals but public health agencies in Canada are pretty clear on us having to have repeated openings and closing cycles as the cases spike and wane. Local uni is online until Jan 2021 at the earliest. Thankfully local authorities are prioritizing childcare as daycamps and daycares open like two stages ahead of gyms etc.
Anonymous says
This will never happen in the U.S., even if it should happen. We are all crying “uncle” and ready to give up and purposely expose ourselves to the virus after just one round of lockdown.
anon says
We are TTC but my office is reopening soon. Jumping off those who are working from home in second and third tris, has anyone disclosed a pregnancy early in order to work from home in the first tri? I’m actually maybe more worried about first trimester medically (and time near delivery). Thoughts?
I’ve seen pregnant doesn’t count as high risk according to the CDC, but I think my office would grant an accommodation if I asked. Just not sure whether I want to ask to work from home for a full 9 months…
Anon4This says
+Following. My office hasn’t made any noises about re-opening/asking folks to come in yet, and we’re allowed to come/go as we please (with screening) right now. It’s pretty clear we will move to a highly remote schedule at some point this year. I haven’t gone in since Mid-March and I’m about ~8 weeks pregnant right now. I’m going to the doc again next week, and plan to ask these questions, as well as if it’s “safe” to send DS back to daycare in a few weeks. I agree I feel most at risk for first tri/around delivery.
AnonATL says
In the before-times I disclosed to my boss at about 10 weeks. In retrospect, I’m not sure I would do the same thing again given the stress I felt before hearing little guy’s heartbeat a few weeks later at my next appointment. I did it for a couple reasons. 1) we were in a critical planning/budgeting time for the year so my maternity leave was highly relevant given my role 2) my boss was a very new father and I felt he would be sensitive and empathetic to all the first trimester stress and if I lost the baby. I asked that he keep it private until I was ready to tell everyone else which was around the end of my first trimester.
Given things are even more risky now for new moms (primarily the risk of fever to the fetus), I think I would tell your boss but only if you think he/she will be sensitive and keep it quiet before you are ready to announce to the larger group. They don’t need to elaborate much, but could be a good advocate for you to wfh while others return to the office. I don’t think the full 9 months + maternity leave will fly if everyone else is back, so maybe consult with your doc at that point about the safest time to venture out. Also it depends on your risk factors for pregnancy complications (age, other reproductive conditions, etc) and additional risk factors for corona. You have to weigh the possibility of miscarriage and how you would feel communicating that to your manager and the risk the virus poses. It’s a tough call.
AnonATL says
ETA: I had already had a pregnancy confirmation ultrasound and heard the heartbeat at around 6-7 weeks so I knew he was doing ok and was aware of what my relative miscarriage risk rate was. It was still very stressful waiting in between appointments and the anixety/guilt/shame I felt about the possibility of having to tell someone I lost the baby.
The shame/potential guilt issue is a whole other thing.. but something I struggled with during my first trimester and would probably be worse given today’s situation.
Leatty says
I have a great boss, and I’m not sure I would be comfortable disclosing early. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and I had disclosed my pregnancy to a number of people (who I had to tell about my miscarriage). Since then, I’ve only disclosed in the first trimester to people I would be comfortable disclosing a miscarriage to. YMMV.
Instead of disclosing your pregnancy, can you simply disclose to your boss that you will need to work from home due to a medical condition? Presumably a doctor would sign off on that.
Anon says
what are people’s thoughts on public restrooms? all the talk above about going on hikes, zoos, pools, etc. i agree outdoor stuff is lower risk, but kids touch everything!
Anon says
I don’t think restrooms are a huge risk because there isn’t a lot of evidence of surface-to-person transmission and anyway you wash your hands when you’re done. That said my kid is in diapers and if I had a slightly older kid who was potty trained but couldn’t be trusted not to touch stuff I might bring one of the portable potty training potties. Gloves for adults and just going in the woods are also options. My parents recently drove here for a visit and my mom used disposable gloves in the public restroom, while my dad just peed by the side of the road.
Anon says
Actually toilet flung particulates are a big enough risk that my husband’s hospital is looking at spending millions of dollars to install lids on all the toilets. Even thought it will increase fomites and cleaning time.
Anon says
Yeah, this is what makes me pause with 3yos who touch everything, but if I think about it, I can probably get them in and out of a bathroom without touching everything as long as I make clear that that is what the new rules are and don’t try to multi-task. I’m thinking one parent takes a kid in, brings kid out, takes in second kid, brings kid out, goes in to use the bathroom themselves. Usually I’d pee at the same time as having both kids locked in the stall with me, but then there’s more chance for touching.
Spirograph says
I’m not that worried about touching — presumably washing hands is the last thing you do in the restroom, so that should take care of anything else you touched. I don’t necessarily always go into the restroom with my older kids, so I might insist on hand sanitizer once they’re back in my sight, too, or a parent would need to accompany to verify good hand-washing. I am more concerned that a public restroom is usually an enclosed space, may not have great airflow, and it’s unknown whether the aerisolization that happens with toilet flushes might also be a factor in spread. That said, public restrooms probably aren’t going to be a limiting factor in my decision calculus, because you don’t spend a ton of time in there so hopefully that would limit the viral load you’re able to pick up. I would not use pool or beach locker rooms at the moment (moot point as my county is still closed), but it’s easy enough to show up in a swimsuit and shower and change out of it once we get home.
Hikes are easy, just let the kids pee in the woods.
Anonymous says
Aerosolization from toilet flushes is a real concern that has not yet been adequately studied. The confined space and poor ventilation in a restroom are also valid concerns. We are avoiding public restrooms for these reasons.
https://www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them
SC says
Eventually, public restrooms probably will not be the limiting factor for me. However, I mentioned above that we will be swimming at FIL’s house, and the non-availability of a restroom will keep our visits relatively short.
Anonymous says
You can use the bathroom in his house.
Anonymous says
I’m not concerned. I gotta pee. They gotta pee. We will wash our hands and use hand sanitizer when we leave.
Anonanonanon says
Well, I got a COVID test this morning.
I’m 99.8% sure I’m fine, but I have a sore throat/mild dry cough (but allergies are crazy around here), mild body aches (but I’m an adult, don’t we all?) and GI issues (I have a chronic GI condition). I have an appointment coming up for routine treatment that is co-located with Oncology (I receive IV medication in the same large open room as people getting chemo), we have a nanny (who is off today through the weekend anyway), my husband has to go in every day, and I sometimes interact with people who work in healthcare facilities and first responders. In other words, my concern is more about unintentionally spreading to others, many of whom are vulnerable or provide care to patients who are, than for myself.
It wasn’t hard to get approved (maybe because I’m immunocompromised, though?) and while the swab was horrific, it’s over quickly. Again, part of me feels silly because I’m sure I’m fine, but I couldn’t live with the .2% chance I’m wrong. We’ll see!
Pogo says
thinking of you!
avocado says
Ouch! Hang in there.
octagon says
Kiddo (4) is having trouble going to sleep at night — and then waking up crying in the middle of the night — because he is lonely. It’s killing me, and he is incredibly sleep deprived and cranky. I suspect he is actually lonely — he is with at least one parent all day! Any suggestions for how to validate his feelings of loneliness and also help him figure out how to be okay with that (and GTF back to sleep)?
Anon says
Omg it is so hard. My toddler has been waking up five times a night or more lately.
Anonymous says
Special stuffed animals? My oldest went through this basically her entire life. What solved it finally was when my middle moved in with her! Now oldest is 7 and ready for her own space so we moved her out. But for a loooong time she just wanted someone else with her. We “snuggle charged” her animals before bed which sometimes worked.
Pogo says
omg, I’m so sorry. We literally JUST turned a corner on a months-long sleep regression induced by the pandemic, which is what this sounds like too. my advice is 1) do what you need to for survival first 2) address with some kind of sleep training when you feel emotionally/mentally ready. I had a hard time doing any type of CIO at first bc the poor kid is legit scared and lonely, his whole world is upside down! So I took a phased approach. Finally seeing some improvement.
Daycare? #2 says
What would you do? Daycare is reopening June 1 and we are debating whether to send kids (11 mos and 4.5 years) immediately or continue waiting (until…?).
I am WFH exclusively. DH is in the medical field and works 3 12-hour shifts….so when he’s working, I do everything, but when he’s not, he’s in charge basically my entire workday. But we do have a small house and so it is still tough for me to get tasks done those days that take long sustained levels of concentration.
We are in a fortunate position in that we do have local grandparents. The week before last, they started watching the kids on the weekdays DH works (so as to get time with the kids before they are exposed to new germs at daycare). In exchange I plan/bring dinner. This has been great, but it is still obviously not a full replacement for daycare. They enjoy the kids but do get burned out so would not be able to do 5 days a week or anything. They are not thrilled with the idea of the kids starting daycare and have offered to keep watching them, but I’m not sure how long it will last and, again, they do make comments about how tired they are after a day watching the kids.
So, I’d love advice as to what to do here. I am not going to keep the kids out of daycare until there is a vaccine or anything, the question for me is just….send them back now, or in 2 weeks, or in 2 months, or something. Pros to sending back to daycare now: Physical/mental/relationship health for me and DH (not enough time now to exercise or spend time alone or as a couple), and socialization/physical/mental health for 4.5 year old (I can tell she really misses spending time with kids her own age, and playing with them, and the physical exertion she gets at daycare). I also worry that there will be a cycle of closing/opening in the next 18 months or so, so I feel we should take advantage of daycare when it is available, but of course I have no idea what the next months will look like. Cons to sending back to daycare now: Not seeing grandparents / increased risk of exposure to grandparents, worry about whether it is responsible from a societal perspective when current situation is not completely untenable.
Read the Emily Oster article mentioned above and it was helpful. I think talking to the grandparents has been difficult because they haven’t articulated their desired alternatives to sending back on June 1.
SC says
I would send the kids back to daycare. The physical/mental/relationship health of you and DH are extremely important for your family, including your kids. The socialization/physical/mental health of your 4.5 year old is also important, and if you have a choice, I don’t think you should continue isolating her from her peers.
In your situation, I would not be concerned about whether it is responsible from a societal perspective. Your husband is in the medical field (a healthcare worker, or supporting healthcare workers), basically on-site full time. It was never irresponsible for healthcare workers to send young children to daycare, and that was one of the main reasons many states allowed daycares to stay open.
I’m not sure from your post if you feel like you would need to stop seeing them unless socially distanced, or if your kids would just see them less because they wouldn’t be care providers. Especially if it’s the former, it’s tough. However, I would prioritize the health and needs of your immediate family.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with this, especially since your oldest is 4.5. If it was just the toddler, then maybe what you have now would be fine, but I think the preschool/pre-K kids benefit a lot from being around peers. And definitely your marriage/mental health is very important here! I would send them and isolate from the grandparents, or at least do visits just outside, for a bit and see how it goes.
AnotherAnon says
My 3 y/o just completed his second half-day of day care (they’re taking a phased approach). Similar to your daughter, he’s an extrovert and missed his friends dearly, so that weighed heavily in my decision to send him back. He’s a whole different person – inquisitive and happy again. Since you mentioned this, IMHO, just because a situation is not untenable doesn’t mean you should feel guilty for choosing a path that improves your situation.