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I’m always a fan of Leota maternity dresses; they’re really cute, and for the most part, they’re washable. (This one is hand wash cold.) This is a really colorful, happy print while still appropriate for work — it doesn’t read “vacation” or anything. There’s a darker “smoldering” print and a nice one called “ember glow,” with black, green, and red. I think they look like lovely dresses for work or beyond, like a baby shower where you want to dress up. The dress is $158 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-XL. ‘Sweetheart’ Maternity Dress
Psst: If you’re looking for maternity clothes, do note that the Nordstrom sale has a ton of great maternity workwear in the sale, with prices as low as $40. See all of our workwear picks from the Nordstrom Anniversary sale, here.
A few dresses, all priced from $40-$60, below:
Pictured: one / two / three / four
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Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
anon says
Help me build my postpartum wardrobe. This is my second, so I have an idea of what my size will be. With my first the postpartum period was in the fall/winter, so I just threw cardigans and jackets over nursing tanks. This time it will be a hot, sticky summer and I want to feel a little put together when guests come over and when I have to take my toddler to the park.
AIMS says
Cute pair of comfy sandals + sundress. You can stock up on a bunch inexpensive, forgiving ones at Old Navy/Loft/etc.
GCA says
If nursing, tank + stretchy skirt (Athleta has some; my go-to, embarrassingly, is a Lularoe Cassie skirt that I bought off a friend) + sandals?
Anonanonanon says
Maxi dresses. I don’t normally wear them, but they were a godsend when I had a summer baby in the deep south. They are breezy, but def cover your tummy, and with cute sandals and some minor accessories you can feel “put together”.
Walnut says
It’s my first day solo with my newborn and toddler and going into the office has never been so appealing. Props to the SAHM’s out there, but I am definitely not wired that way. Wish me luck!
AIMS says
Good luck and congrats on the new addition! I know exactly how you feel. I go into work to ‘relax’ as often as not.
Clementine says
Everything is a season.
I’m sure you’ve got a great game plan (babywear! have big sibling ‘help’ bring you things! screentime as an options!) and it’ll be fantastic.
LegalMomma says
Good luck! They were some of the hardest – but also most rewarding days. (I was also always so relieved to see my H at the end of the day)
Clementine says
This weekend was just a really great weekend. We did all the fun stuff you want to do – pool, made jam, played in the backyard, took long walks, etc. I’m really struggling with being at work today.
It’s funny- I cut my maternity leave short because I was going stir crazy with a baby, and at the time swore I could never be a SAHM. Now that my kid is toddler-aged, there are just so many fun things to do! These are the days when I think, ‘yeah. I could stay home for a couple of years.’
I think the ideal for me would be like 70% time (TRUE 70% time) with one day WFH, but still keep all my favorite projects. Le sigh.
Anon says
I’d love just a true 40-hour job with no extra work on nights/weekends. Even better if I could structure it into 4-1ohour days or even that schedule where you get every other Friday off. But what I really want is about 2 more weeks of PTO (4 total). That would give me enough to take a proper relaxing trip each year, one or two long weekend activities, and still have time leftover for both sick kids and random mental health days.
Amen to it being so much more fun with a toddler. Everything is an actual adventure, and they can tell you just how amazing it is. My DD stared at the mini plastic pool in our backyard this weekend, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said “taking a picture for my brain so I can look at it again tonight in my bed.” Life is so much more fun when I see it through their eyes.
lsw says
Ugh. I am feeling this hard right now. My son just turned one, but now that we can go to the pool, and the waterpark, and all these other fun places (he doesn’t just sit in the stroller at the museum! he can crawl around at the park!) I was feeling some serious sadness this weekend. I fast forwarded to when he is in school and he won’t experience summer like I did as a kid – because he’ll still be in daycare. Wah. xMondaysx
it's possible! says
It happened to me by accident. I was laid off right before I went on maternity leave with #2 (hello, extremely generous severance package to avoid litigation). I ended up taking the time to have an extended maternity leave and build a part time consulting practice. I’m now home “full time” in the sense that I am the primary caregiver, but I have preschool for my older one, my younger one naps a ton now (1), and I have a babysitter 2x/week. I bill around 15 hours/week and this will probably increase to about 20-25 in the fall.
To make this work, DH and I had to reset our lifestyle a bit. We needed to get used to rolling up our sleeves vs just throwing money at problems, because there was less money and the same number of problems. We had to be contentious about eating out less, being smarter about meal planning/grocery shopping, less impulsive about regular clothes/toy shopping, cheaper weekend family activities (park [free] vs water/amusement park [$75-$100], local beach with a bucket [free] vs a day at the zoo one state over [easily $150]), and less expensive vacations. We also aren’t socking money away like we used to, but we have a fully funded emergency fund and a savings cushion.
Overall, we still have our nice house in our nice town, drive nice cars and have nice things. And I still have a cleaning service –and would bill as many hours as I needed to ensure this happened. I loathe deep cleaning and without this indulgence, our house wouldn’t get cleaned. I stopped getting mani/pedis for a while to make up for it. When you factor in the “savings” between what I pay now and what I’d pay for full time daycare, that helps a little as well.
I would never in a million years have proactively made this choice- I was way too into my working mama badge and high earning VP job. But life happened and our family jumped on the opportunity.
All this to say–perhaps there is a way to make it work. Long term or short term or somewhere in between.
Clementine says
Very glad that it has worked out so well for you! Part of it is that I’m pretty far into my working mama badge and that I do enjoy my work. I am also in a field where it would be difficult for me to go solo – although PT may be feasible.
What you’ve said about the financial choices though, we’re already doing all those things. Our income has gone up significantly, but we’ve only made minor adjustments in our lifestyle (cleaning service was the big one. Game changer.). We have consciously stayed away from lifestyle creep so that if one of us did want to quit, it would be possible. Now that I’ve clawed my way to where I am though, the work is so interesting.
Wouldn’t it be great if work was only the interesting parts?
it's possible! says
Totally true. Though I will say that I really, truly didn’t think I could make a part-time (or just “less time”) gig happen, and certainly not “hang a shingle.” And then I did. But the world sort of forced my hand.
I’m not in law, but the role I was in previously was absolutely not a “part time” or “job share” type of role. But I found some companies interested in using my skill set in a different way. I was, for simplicity, the VP of IT at a company that sold widgets. I ended up through various networks, meeting some bankers that were interested in learning about the widget market and possibly investing in it. That’s cool, but I wasn’t a market expert or really even that saavy in what investors want. But I teamed up with another friend-of-a-friend’s friend type connection who was very strong in the market/industry dynamics, kind of a talking head and we do a 1-2 punch of support for investors: colleague does the intro/market 101 type work, I come in once they are interested in pursuing a market or a specific company and provide technical/tactical market strategy and/or due dilligence support based on the decade + I’ve spent building, running, and owning products in the widget market.
I’m a total introvert and would never be able to drum up business on my own, but this just…came together through a series of unexpected events. And people refer business to us left and right because this is apparently a “hot” niche. I had no idea.
So Anon for this says
I have never felt that way. Ever. I have never wanted a weekend to last longer so I could spend more time with my toddler. I feel like an awful monster whose kid deserves better than me. Am I the only one? I really love older kids, but I am just gritting my teeth and getting through this toddler stage.
rakma says
Nope, you are not the only one.
I dislike everything my 3yo considers fun. Playgound? Hot and other children are horrible. Sprinklers? ugh I don’t want to get wet, and I always end up getting wet. Play pretend in this very specific way? Please never again. “Projects” which basically means play-dough which I will find everywhere in my house forever even when she is really neat? No thank you.
And this doesn’t even cover things like tantrums and actual parenting. Work is my lovely oasis where no one touches me.
GCA says
No, you’re not the only one. Someone in a moms Facebook group posted about ‘everyone’ feeling like they wanted to stay home with their small children full-time, and I was like…uhhh no not me. Hats off to all the people who do it full-time, with all the drudgery and physical/ emotional/ creative energy it entails. (They have days when they’re over it, too; everyone does.)
Also, liking parenting only part-time does not = you are a monster. Me, I do not enjoy the tiny baby stage. Not one bit. Toddlers are a lot more fun, but also more emotionally exhausting, especially (and we’ve discussed this here before!) for introverts like me.
anon says
I’m with you
it's possible! says
Um, you have a toddler. I did a snoopy dance after I left my hot mess of a toddler at daycare pretty much every single day.
But my 4 y/o is pretty fun to be around. Still not everyone’s up of tea, but I’m amazed at how we can have fun together (or she and her dad can have fun together) without it being Kid Stuff. For example- this weekend I worked on refinishing a piece of furniture (a hobby of mine) while my kid was half interested/helping and half living in her own world of “refinishing” her very own cardboard box. We did listen to the Sound of Music soundtrack at her request, but it’s one I don’t mind. She and her dad go kayaking and fishing together.
Mrs. Jones says
You are def not the only one. Ugh toddlers. I enjoy my son so much more now that he’s 6.
So Anon for this says
Thank you so much for saying that. My toddler was a great easy baby but started having tantrums the minute she turned 1. I’ve been gritting my teeth since then and I keep hearing that 4 is the promised land. One more year to go. Sigh.
Mrs. Jones says
4 1/2 was where it really started to improve for us. Good luck!
Katie says
Totally with you. My toddler is adorable and often very fun, but unbelievably exhausting. He is a high-energy kid who loves testing boundaries, and I sometimes white knuckle it through Sunday afternoon to get to the end of the weekend. I have fun doing things like the park, the pool, day trips – but my limit is about 1 hour. Anything beyond that is just exhausting.
Spirograph says
I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and an almost-1 year old. I usually look forward to Mondays. Sometimes I enjoy parts of my weekend (ok, I usually enjoy at least some things), but never ever have I said to myself, “man, I wish I could take care of these 3 kids by myself all day every day!” Just, never. I love them, but they are exhausting. And loud.
Anonymous at home says
I am a SAHM mom to a toddler. In small doses — like maybe a weekend, especially when you have your co-parent around — toddlers are really exciting and entertaining. But don’t be fooled into thinking that a whole week as a SAHM will be as much fun as a weekend. I would say the “job” is majority grunt work… and it is totally on you (and spouse, when home) to come up with the nap routine, figure out potty training, do all the meals and subsequent cleaning up 3x day, plan activities (even if that means sitting in the backyard) for every morning and every afternoon, plus do all the house cleaning and “extras” because you really can’t justify the cost to outsource anything.
Conceptually, I love being SAH and the investment of time that I’m putting into my family (and I do think toddlers are a little easier to handle when you spend so much time with them and really get to know all their quirks and opinions). I love being here for my kid through all the exciting and banal times, and having the flexibility to work around his needs and schedule. I love not having to pile work stress on top of general parent stress. But, the day-to-day is taxing… so be aware that as a working mom, you likely have your rose-colored glasses on. (However, for anyone who independently feels called to SAH, I do recommend it!)
Clementine says
Oh, I hear what you’re saying, which is why I really think that 70% with one WFH day (aka fold laundry while listening to conference calls) is my ideal.
Anonymous says
I think this is an awesome, honest post.
Jax says
Echoing that SAHM is not the same as a weekend, from a former SAHM. Weekends have that feel of holiday, with everyone relaxed and taking it easy. Even people out in public have a more chill and happy feel on the weekend.
Weekdays feel…lonely. Your spouse is gone, the neighborhood is deserted, and everyone you run into has some place to be. There’s an air of work and hurry in public that I never felt a part of as a SAHM. I felt rudderless. I had 10 hours to do whatever I pleased and I couldn’t think of anything to do other than surf the internet and cook new recipes.
But–we had very little money when I stayed home. Other SAHMs were able to sign up for Kindermusic, preschool, toddler dance classes, or just hit the library story time a couple times per week. My personal opinion is that it takes lots of extra income to be a SAHM and have fun with it.
I dream of a 4 day work week. I would love to have a day for myself just to clean the house, grocery shop, and sit on the couch with a cup of tea and plan/get in headspace for the weekend.
Playdates says
My kid is 4 and keeps asking to have a playdate with her preschool friend, whose mom I don’t really get along with. Nothing particular, but we have basically nothing at all in common, different values/priorities, different personalities and are very far apart in terms of age. Please just send me some encouragement? I don’t want to get snubbed, and I’m 99.9% sure I’m just crazy, but I’m going to suck it up and try to schedule something for the kiddos. TELL ME SUCCESS STORIES where you sit through playdates for the sake of your child?
FWIW I’m going to start off suggesting we pick up their kid and take her somewhere, but leave it as *of course* let’s do it together if you want so she can have the option.
AIMS says
My mom did this! I am very grateful. Loved my childhood best friend and my mom ended up having more in common with this woman than you would initially think. My friend and I haven’t really kept in touch (big distance moves, etc.) but my mom still calls her mom on her birthday to catch up.
anon says
We started doing more drop off playdates (at our house or the other kid’s house) around then and they are great – you don’t have to entertain the other parent, and they get some time to do something without their child. Hopefully she’ll bite on your offer. If not, plan an excuse so you can keep it short!
Anon says
Keep it low-key. “Hey! Alli has been asking for weeks to play with Mari after school. Would you be interested in letting them play together? I was thinking Local Park on Thurs. I can pick up the girls at 4:30 and drop Mari at your house by 6, or if you want to meet us there, that would be great. Just let me know!”
Blueberry says
IMO, a connection is a connection, unless you really can’t stand to be around her. I don’t have enough mom friends (or even mom contacts), so I’d be fine with this, even if we wouldn’t normally want to spend time together. The more people you have in your contacts — for an emergency babysitting situation, a random recommendation, or whatever — the better.
anne-on says
I’d such it up and make the play date arrangements, but do them somewhere with something distracting for you (and kiddos) to interact with/comment on – local museum? zoo trip? our local library does lots of activities you can suggest having them meet you at. Basically, anything that gives you a change of topic/topic of conversation as opposed to pushing kids on swings next to each other/chatting on a park bench.
CHJ says
Can you include husbands/partners? I find it a lot easier to socialize in difficult situations if both parents are there. That way, I only have to carry 25% of the conversation instead of 50%. We do a lot of Saturday/Sunday morning playground trips for a low commitment playdate.
Playdates says
Once upon a time I would have. But we have an infant. And this particular friend has 2 older brothers. So now it’s a whole ordeal with 4 parents and 7 kids, which sounds awful to me.
Stomach Bruise-like Feeling Pregnant? says
I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my second. A few evenings ago, I noticed a soreness in my stomach, crammed in that space between baby and chest. It felt very much like there should be a visible bruise there. In the morning it was fine, but every evening since I notice it. This makes me think it’s somehow related to a pulled muscle or other ache that just gets aggravated as the day goes on. Has anyone else had this?
I saw a midwife this morning for my regularly scheduled appointment and she seemed perplexed but not terribly concerned. She mentioned separation already in my abdominal wall (or something like that) and said I might just be more sensitive. I never met this particular midwife before and she was fine but I didn’t get the feeling that she has the experience level of some of the doctors. I see my favorite doctor in two weeks so I’ll bring it up again but your wisdom is appreciated!
anne-on says
Is it possible your kiddo is positioned such that they are kicking into that spot? Things start to get a lot more crowded towards the end, and a well positioned kick can *hurt* (why does nobody tell you this?).
Stomach Bruise OP says
Thank you! You’re probably right. I don’t feel him up that high but that doesn’t mean he’s not doing damage. I feel him much more than I did with my first!
Anon says
My first would kick so hard that I’d swear I got internal bruises. The spot would be sore for days afterwards, but you couldn’t see any discoloration. My second didn’t kick but stretched out long and that would also leave soreness for several days after.
All my pregnancy aches felt worse at night – I think I was too busy at work during the day to really notice them, but in the evenings I’d be quiet and tuned-in enough that they’d stand out.
You know yourself best, but your situation sounds fairly normal to me.
Stomach Bruise OP says
Thank you! :)
Pogo says
Yes, I have this exact thing. Since mine was on my right side (under my ribs) they were super concerned about liver or gallbladder but my labs were normal and I don’t have a fever or vomiting or any of the other symptoms.
The official ‘diagnosis’ was just that the ribs are stretching and the ligaments/muscles/etc are angry and acting up.
I think I was around 28w when I first noticed it; around 32 weeks it became unbearable and I went to the doctor and they did the tests mentioned above (urine and bloodwork) to rule out anything serious.
The only thing that gives me relief is stretching (I started PT for it), swimming, yoga and standing as opposed to sitting.
I’d make sure to rule out the “serious” stuff and then try and get some help with stretches/occupational stuff to get some relief. Right now I’m just counting the minutes until the little sucker decides to drop and hopefully this goes away.
solidarity!
Stomach Bruise OP says
Thank you!! I am so relieved. The midwife just did not make me feel better because I couldn’t imagine this is actually uncommon. If it keeps up, I’ll make sure to get some additional tests at my next visit. How much longer do you have? Thank you for solidarity!
Pogo says
38 weeks today! I don’t think it’s that uncommon, but I find it very situation-dependent (so maybe your midwife doesn’t see that many moms who have office jobs?).
Sitting (especially in long meetings where I forget to get up/stretch/etc) just kills me. As NewMomAnon says below, don’t slump. It’s just easier said than done when you get working and forget you’ve been hunched over the computer for four hours straight… ugh.
Stomach Bruise OP says
Great points all around! Thank you! (typed as I try to sit up straighter)
NewMomAnon says
Is it right under the bottom bones of the ribcage? Because that’s a spot where your diaphragm has some connections – I developed issues there during pregnancy and still have soreness there postpartum when I’m working too much. Massage and chiropractic care have been both been somewhat effective, but the biggest helps have been:
Don’t slump. Sit back in your chair, make sure your shoulders are touching the back of the chair, and hold your ribcage up (a friend once called this “tucking your shoulder blades into your back pockets,” and that’s sometimes a helpful image for me). Sometimes a bolster behind the small of my back helps. Bra underwires exacerbate the issue for me, so I wear non-underwire bras when it’s really bad.
Take deep breaths. Breathe first to fill your belly, then to expand your lungs outward, and then to expand your chest upward. Release.
Stomach Bruise OP says
That makes a lot of sense… thank you.
Cb says
Yep, same here. My ribs hurt but they think it’s just normal muscle issues / baby kicking. It feels better when standing or lying down, sitting is the worst. Side stretches seem to help.
Stomach Bruise OP says
That would also explain why it’s fine in the morning, after lying down all night, but by the end of the day I am DONE.
Anon for this says
I had this on my right side, and the pain was so severe that I ended up in the ER. After ruling out scary stuff, I was diagnosed with a “separated rib.” Baby stretched me out so far that one of my ribs sprung away from its connection to my sternum. Pain actually got better towards the end when baby started to drop. I ended up getting a scrip for light-touch pain meds and taking one at night when I really, really couldn’t rest because of the pain. My kid is a-ok years later, hitting all her milestones, etc. Some docs will treat you like a monster if you say yes to pain meds, but I don’t regret my choice to take one occasionally.
Pogo says
They gave me flexeril to help the muscles relax, but it actually didn’t do much for me so I only took it once. Sorry they drug-shamed you, that’s awful.
Anon says
I had a separated rib when not pregnant and my chiro was able to treat it. I don’t know what chiros can do when you are pregnant though.
Stomach Bruise OP says
Pregnancy is hard enough. Drug-shaming is unnecessary! After giving into an epidural with my first, I remember thinking it was the first time I felt relaxed in weeks.
octagon says
I had pain and numbness for the last trimester in the spot right where ribs separate, under the center of my bra line. It was so concerning I was screened for problems with liver or gallblader, but nothing showed up. A year later and I still have off and on numbness. My doctor thinks that the baby’s feet were jammed against a nerve, and that feeling will come back eventually.
ANon says
I had this dress while I was pregnant and I absolutely loved it. I never hand washed it. I threw it in the washer and dryer with all the rest of my stuff and had no problem. Would highly recommend.
Katie says
Any experience with toddler sleep training? My 20-month old son has never been a fantastic sleeper. We did Ferber when he was around 6 months, which certainly helped some but was not the magic bullet I had hoped. He’s made gradual progress over the many months, but lately it seems like things are getting worse, not better. He stalls at bedtime, wakes up way too early (like 5am), and frequently (probably twice a week) wakes in the middle of the night inconsolable unless we hold him, and then we can’t put him down without him waking. All of this is made more complicated by the fact that I’m pregnant with our second. I feel like we need to get the toddler’s sleep in some sort of shape before the baby comes in a couple months.
Any ideas? A Ferber-like approach doesn’t seem like it would work at this stage, when he’s so much more cognizant of what’s going on. Plus I do think some of the wakings are nightmare-induced, so I don’t want to just let him scream endlessly in the middle of the night. Are there sleep consultants that work with toddlers? My Googling shows that most seem to specialize in infants, and any reference to toddlers seems like an afterthought. But I’m desperate, so I’m open to all ideas!
Thanks.
CHJ says
Do you still have the Ferber book? He has a lot of ideas for toddlers, so I’d go back and read those chapters if you haven’t already. For other ideas, my son got very scared of the dark around that age, so we got him several night lights (including one that makes a Batman signal on the ceiling – very cool) and a Twilight Turtle. Also, how are his naps? If he’s getting too much or too little sleep during the day, that could be affecting his night sleep.
anon says
+1. I would also feel more comfortable doing CIO at bedtime and then handling middle of the night wake ups slightly differently – you don’t need the same plan for both.
BK anon says
We are dealing with similar issues, with a 16-month-old. Nothing groundbreaking, but some thoughts:
– We have a fisher price aquarium in his crib, which he has started turning on to entertain himself with in the mornings when he wakes up.
– We got one of the ok-to-wake clocks that have been recommended on here and are working on getting him to understand it.
– We also won’t get him in the mornings until at least 6 a.m. (Though for awhile we were letting him sleep the last hour or so in our beds).
– Ours is also inconsolable in the middle of the night until we get him. I have been thinking maybe it’s nightmares, or maybe separation anxiety. Either way, we have been doing a combo of getting him and soothing him, then doing the 5-10-15 minute check-ins. So he knows we’re there, basically right away, but also that we won’t stay with him all night.
Anyway, nothing amazing, but these have been helping. I will also be following to hear other ideas! Good luck :)
PregLawyer says
What’s his bedtime?
PregLawyer says
Just to elaborate – we definitely ascribe to the early bedtime = late sleeper theory. It has worked for my two-year old. It’s hard to pick things that actually work, because every kid is so different, but sticking to an ironclad routine seems to help. Whenever I deviate from the sleep routine, he gets squirrelly. For us, it’s read a couple of books, turn the light off and sing songs, then do 5-10 minutes of “quiet time” (I don’t talk or sing), and then he goes in his crib. Every night. If he is being difficult about getting into pajamas, or changing his diaper, then we just cut out the time from one of those activities.
GCA says
PS – on the pjs/ diaper battle, I discovered a couple of things that work (ie have been working really well for the last two weeks, who knows whether they’ll continue to work) involving stuffed animals.
“Hey Minnie Mouse, Baby GCA doesn’t want his diaper, so you’re getting it… *puts diaper on Minnie* …*addressing stuffie sternly* Minnie! Listen, buddy, that’s Baby GCA’s diaper. Can you be a good friend and give it back to him? Awesome! Thanks!”
“Hey Sleep Sheep, Baby GCA doesn’t want his diaper, so you’re getting it…. *having Sleep Sheep ‘whisper’ in my ear*… What’s that? Oh! How generous of you. Hey baby, Sleep Sheep says he’s giving you the diaper. That’s very kind of him, isn’t it?”
Kid thinks these are uproarious and will watch these scenes play out, then trot over to have his diaper put on. Invent your own as you will.
PregLawyer says
This is good stuff. Thanks!
Anon in NYC says
Not a sleep training suggestion, but my daughter (2yo) recently went through something like this for weeks (it was terrible), and I think it was mostly related to teething because she’s back to normal. Is he getting molars by any chance?
Katie says
Thanks all. To answer some questions, yes I think he has been teething for the past couple weeks, which is partly why I have been avoiding doing anything about this. But it’s been a gradual decline in sleep ability for a few months now, so I’m not sure it’s all teething related. We aim for a 7:30pm bedtime, but with the stalling it’s often closer to 8:00. We had previously done 7:00 for a while, and that still resulted in a 5:00am (or often earlier!) wake up time, so I don’t know that he fits the “early to bed, late to rise” model. He takes one nap at daycare for 90 minutes to 2 hours.
I’ve been meaning to try an okay to wake clock, but I worry he’s too young to get it. Guess it’s worth a shot! Frankly I’ve mostly accepted the early wakings as just who he is. It’s the middle of the night issues that are a big problem that I’m hoping we can correct before the baby comes.
AwayEmily says
We started our baby with the OK to Wake clock at about five months…I doubt if she understood it cognitively, but she quickly figured out that since no one would come get her until the clock turned green, she may as well just sit quietly until that happens (we started by setting it at her actual wake-up time, then slowly moved the clock later and later). She’s now 15 months and happily chills in her crib for 30 – 40 minutes most mornings before we go get her. It’s made a huge difference to our AM sanity to have a set wakeup time (we get her at 6:30) and lets us get a lot more done in the morning.
NewMomAnon says
The OK to Wake clock is a great suggestion. I’ve been using it with my kiddo for at least 18 months. She knows nothing fun will happen until the clock turns green; she can’t climb in bed with me, breakfast won’t be served, no TV, no stories. Most of the time, she wakes up and just goes back to sleep if the clock isn’t green yet. Other times I’ll see her sitting up in bed watching the clock, talking to her babies.
Also, a few times I’ve intentionally set it half an hour later just to get myself a few more minutes of rest. It’s wonderful.
NewMomAnon says
Has anyone had a kid suddenly start crossing and uncrossing their eyes at random times? Kiddo learned how to do it intentionally from a teacher at school, but it also seems to happen involuntarily while she’s talking, focusing on things very close to her face, and when she is wandering around daydreaming. It’s just started happening in the last week or two, and it isn’t often – maybe every other day.
It’s probably not rational, but it really freaks me out. I’m debating whether to call the pediatrician ASAP or whether that would be a hysterical overreaction. Also, why do I worry so much about being seen as hysterical when I call the pediatrician?
Blueberry says
Sounds a little unusual. I would make an appointment (but not an emergency appointment), but then I tend to be very cautious about eyes. And if you are worried about sounding hysterical and irrational — they have seen worse, including me, who despite the pediatrician being convinced there was nothing wrong, made an appointment with a specialist because I thought one of my baby’s eyes looked like it was crossing or something. Spoiler alert: my pediatrician was right, and I am a little bit of a hypochondriac.
mascot says
I’ve called the pediactrician’s office for questions like these “hey, kid is doing this new weird thing, probably developmentally normal, but what should I be looking out for” Our doctor’s office will have a nurse call you back and let you know if you need to come in or how to handle at home. I don’t think you are being hysterical and they likely get far crazier questions.
CPA Lady says
I once brought in my baby 3 times in four days for a high fever that wouldn’t go away. I even got teary in one of the appointments. The doctor was like “Girl. It’s going to be okay!” Luckily it wasn’t her normal doctor because I was so embarrassed. And yeah, it was a virus, and yeah it went away in a few days.
All that to say, call the nurse’s line and don’t worry about seeming like a crazy person.
Sarabeth says
Our daughter’s eyes cross involuntarily pretty regularly. Strabismus is the medical term. We went to an opthamologist who confirmed that was what was going on, but also told us that it will almost certainly self-correct. The doctor said to bring her back in if it seemed like it was increasing to roughly 50% of the time or more, and we would discuss using a patch or other corrective measures. You should probably talk to your own doctor about it at some point, but your situation sounds very similar to my daughter, and it was really NBD.
Anonymous says
Nothing wrong with calling the ped! I took my 13 month old to the ER for a CT scan because she fell 2 inches off her cot at daycare and had a bruise on her forehead and 3+ hours after the fact, threw up 4 times. I was pretty sure she didn’t have a concussion, but also was freaked out, and yep, just a coincidental stomach bug.
Em says
I would have made the same decision!
Mom of Twims says
Yes, this started happening with one of my kids right around his 3rd birthday. It got more and more frequent/less intentional, so we took him to a pediatric opthlamologist who diagnosed Strabismus. He’s being treated with glasses (and now at 4 with bifocals since he started crossing while wearing glasses when focusing on close objects). Early intervention is recommended to help retrain the brain to coordinate the eyes. Doctor said there is a 50/50 chance he’ll outgrown it by his teenage years, otherwise he’ll likely switch to wearing contacts.
anon says
Maybe your pediatrician doesn’t handle those calls well? I would call during normal business hours and leave a message indicating I am clear this isn’t an emergency but would like a call back when convenient. Calling at midnight would be hysterical, calling during office hours is totally okay.
NewMomAnon says
They handle them wonderfully. It’s definitely just a thing in my head that I’m not entitled to “waste” their time with spurious questions….I called, left a message, and made it clear that it’s for the doctor to reply at her leisure. It was exactly the right thing to do.
anon says
In that case, I affirm you – you are not wasting their time, you are being a good parent. Good for you!
Post-partum depression? says
Did any of you experience postpartum derepression around 10 months after giving birth? I am anxious and stressing out about everything. I used to be joyful and smile a lot but now I am always tired and miserable. I sleep fine. I have a lot of help with the baby so that is not an issue for me. I am having my thyroid checked (I have hypothyroidism) and I am hoping this is the problem. If not, do I need to take medication? Do any of you have any suggestions to get out of this state without medication? I plan to drop the 6 pounds that have been bothering me. I hope to feel a bit better once my favorite clothes fit again. I do not work out consistently but I can squeeze in walking. I keep blaming myself for not being able to appreciate what I have and this creates a vicious cycle..
(was) due in june says
Yes. And please speak to your doctor about medication. Immediately. Zoloft is nursing compatible. Cardio, with your heart rate above 150 (I think, check with your doctor) for 30 minutes *every single day* can help with endorphins, but it simply may not provide the chemical boost that your brain may need. You can’t blame yourself for (possibly) experiencing depression, any more than you can blame yourself for needing glasses. That’s not something within your control and you cannot use your willpower to fix it.
Please talk to your medical care team immediately. You do not have to feel like this.
Anonymous says
+1 to everything here. It hit me at 9 months.
anon says
yes–mine came on strong about then. I went on meds and it was like turning on a light switch for me. I had my thyroid checked and blood work done, everything looked fine. Started an anti-depressant and feel much better now (18 months post partum)
Anon for this says
I had a surge right at 10 mos. too. I had already been diagnosed, but things got really bad hormonally right at that time.
There is no shame in taking meds! It’s a chemical imbalance triggered by hormonal changes. And it really sucked the joy out of my baby’s first year. Don’t miss as much of the joy in your life as I did.
Anonanonanon says
Yes. I got put on wellbutrin (I wasn’t nursing at this point) and felt 1,000 times better. Bonus: it made it easier to lose weight too ;)
You don’t have to feel like this. I was so nervous to talk to my doc, but she immediately said “well we can’t have that!” and wrote me a script. I wish I had done it sooner
anon says
I think mine was somewhat constant after giving birth but no one thought I needed medication until closer to a year. At that point it became more obvious that my own insomnia was the problem more than my son’s night waking. And I was seeing a therapist the whole time, and I saw my psychologist once around 4 months or so.
Frankly if you are feeling abnormally low, it doesn’t matter whether it is due to postpartum depression or any other kind of depression or anxiety, you need treatment either way. I feel like maybe there is less stigma attached to PPD since there is an obvious Reason instead of, say, “weakness,” but that it BS. Life is hard, the causes of depression/anxiety aren’t completely understood, and no one should feel inadequate for getting help when they need it whenever that is. Good luck to you!
anon says
PS – Particularly if you are adverse to medication (which I personally have found to be a lifesaver at various points in my life), go see a therapist. Therapy is the other research-backed strategy for treatment of anxiety and depression. But a combination of medication + therapy is most effective. You might find womensmentalhealth.org a useful resource.
Anonymous says
I did. Our landlord early doubled our rent last July, I spent 6 weeks searching for a new apartment, packed and moved in two weeks, baby didn’t sleep for two weeks, finally started sleeping in new apartment, lost my child care, baby got Hand Foot and Mouth disease and didn’t sleep for a month, had to quit my part time WFH job and I didn’t know anyone/have any friends in our new neighborhood. Then Trump was elected. I still am not sure how I didn’t jump off the Brooklyn Bridge in there.
1) Medication isn’t a bad thing. You’d take meds if you had diabetes or a thyroid problem. This is the same.
2) Get a therapist.
3) Sign up for exercise classes if that will help.
Cornellian says
I’m 6 mos PP but made an appointment to talk to a psychiatrist next month.
Not to hijack, but I understand Zoloft is nursing compatible. Have folks had experiences with other meds?
anon says
See https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/breastfeeding-and-psychiatric-medication/
“Data have accumulated regarding the use of various antidepressant medications during breastfeeding. Available data on the use of tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs), fluoxetine, paroxetine, and sertraline during breastfeeding have been encouraging and suggest that the amounts of drug to which the nursing infant is exposed is low and that significant complications related to neonatal exposure to antidepressants in breast milk appear to be rare. Typically very low or non-detectable levels of drug have been detected in the infant serum, and one recent report indicates that exposure to medication in breast milk does not result in clinically significant blockade of serotonin (5-HT) reuptake in infants.
Although less information is available on other antidepressants, serious adverse events related to exposure to these medications have not been reported. …
Many clinicians and their patients ask which antidepressant is the “safest” for breastfeeding. It is somewhat misleading to say that certain medications are “safer” than others. All medications taken by the mother are secreted into the breast milk, and there is no evidence to suggest that certain antidepressants pose significant risks to the nursing infant.”
NewMomAnon says
Love this. Thank you for posting and linking.
The psych who treated me for PPD once pointed out that you can’t compare outcomes of unmedicated mothers *without* PPD to outcomes of medicated mothers suffering from PPD. You have to compare unmedicated PPD sufferers with medicated PPD sufferers, and it totally changes the risk/benefit comparison. Depressed, unmedicated mothers are at risk of not feeding themselves appropriately; not being responsive to baby’s crying; making riskier choices with regard to carseats, sleep arrangements, and other baby-proofing; and a number of other issues. Medication reduces those risks, but might leave traces of antidepressants in b*milk. There have been no findings of adverse infant health issues related to traces of antidepressants in b*milk. Even if there were statistically significant risks, the risks of unmedicated, depressed mothers might outweigh those risks.
Anon for this says
+ 1 zillion billion. I can’t go back and change the sad, disconnected, emotionally volatile mother and spouse I was during certain periods of my daughter’s first year. I have so many regrets. Not about any of the things my PPA/PPD caused me to freak out about (“people will think I’m a bad mother if her outfit doesn’t match her shoes!”), but about the precious time I lost by not getting treatment/meds immediately when I started to wonder, instead of waiting until things got really, really bad.
Mrs. Jones says
My PPD showed up a little later than that. I recommend meds and a therapist.
Rainbow Hair says
That’s about when mine became un-ignorable. I called my OB/GYN’s office and I was told by the person who answered the phone, “If it’s more than six months after birth, it’s not postpartum.” Which made my cry and give up asking for help for a little longer. I’m telling you that because it’s NOT TRUE and I wish someone had been there to tell me the receptionist was full of it and that it was real and I was deserving of help.
PregLawyer says
I just made an amazing discovery! I’m barely 6 weeks pregnant but have been making sure to schedule some daycare tours and get on waitlists – we waited until 3 months with the first kid and are stuck in a mediocre daycare and probably will be until preschool. Just toured an awesome place and found out that people regularly get on the waitlist when they are in the “pre-planning phase” and haven’t yet conceived. I had no idea this was even an option. No wonder it’s impossible to get in anywhere. So yeah – those of you who are TTC, might as well get on waitlists now.
Cornellian says
As soon as my kid graduates daycare, I will be sure to advise him to put himself on waiting lists, haha.
mascot says
Ugh, that’s an annoying practice. I understand that daycares want people in the pipeline for slots, but it seems like that causes all sorts of unecessary changes to enrollment targets.
PregLawyer says
Sigh, so annoying. Or maybe not, if I’d actually known about it and taken advantage of it myself. The daycare thing is just so frustrating. It’s really like winning the lottery. I have no idea how people get into these places.
Anonymous says
Doesn’t Diane Keaton make fun of that exact thing (waitlisting unconcieved babies) in Baby Boom? From 1987?
Cb says
There is a nursery in my city with a three year waitlist! They recommend getting on it before trying.
Anonymous says
This is so ridiculous (not your suggestion, the fact that it’s reasonable advice!) I got on a nanny-share connection site with my first pregnancy and forgot to take myself off after a miscarriage. The first time someone contacted me off of there it was horrible. I can’t imagine feeling great about calls from daycares if I happened to get a spot but wasn’t ready for it yet while I was going through fertility treatments. Ugh!
SC says
I think it’s terrible that daycares even let parents do this. We applied to one daycare with a 2-3 year waiting list, and I remember wondering if anyone actually puts themselves on the wait list that early. (I suspect that the spots go to kids with priority–members of the affiliated church, siblings of children already in daycare there, etc.)
If I ruled the world, I’d have a policy that parents could not put themselves on wait lists until actually pregnant, and maybe even fairly far along. It would be easy to implement–you can apply/add yourself to the wait list on the 1st day of the month, 8 months before you anticipate needing a spot.
We applied at several day cares that require parents to visit before attending. It’s a PITA, but it’s more likely to weed out parents who aren’t even trying yet. My husband probably would have been freaked out by a conversation that went like, “Hey, I know we’re not ready for kids yet, but this is a really exclusive daycare, so let’s go take a tour and put a deposit down for 2020.”
Anonanonanon says
Help!
I’m appx 7 weeks pregnant (haven’t had first visit yet) and am vomiting 3 times a day. Well more than 3 times, but 3 “sessions” so to speak. The doc moved my initial appointment up to wednesday based on this, but suggested the following in the meantime:
Vitamin B6
Sea Bands
Did anyone have any luck with either of those for actual vomiting? If I remember correctly from Expecting Better, studies showed they helped with nausea, but not with actually getting sick. The thought of swallowing another vitamin makes me want to be sick, as does the idea of adding an errand to my day to pick up vitamins/sea bands, but if it actually helps I guess I’ll go for it.
anon says
Not sure if you saw this but there was a good thread about nausea cures at the end of the day on Friday. Hopefully someone else can answer your specific questions – I had constant nausea but no actual vomiting.
Anonanonanon says
I did see, I agreed with a lot of the suggestions (especially whoever suggested fast food biscuits)! However, the past few days the vomiting had really been a game changer, I’m hoping someone can weigh in on if B6 helped with vomiting before I drag myself out to spend money to get some
Cb says
I had awful morning sickness (mostly nausea, rarely vomiting, and am still occasionally sick at 39 weeks) and I found b6 and unison to help. Seabands also made a bit of a difference. Magnesium might be worth a try as well.
Anonanonanon says
Thanks, I don’t want to take unisom during the day because I simply cannot function on it, but hopefully the B6 helps.
anon says
I recommend taking a full tab (25 mg?) unisom at night with a B6– then another B6 in the morning or when your nausea strikes. I think the unisom at night was critical for this strategy to work (at least for me)– B6 by itself didn’t cut it, but the nightly unisom would help carry me through the next day.
Anonymous says
I did the unisom/b6 (only taking unisom at night) and it did help a little. But unisom gave me headaches after about a week (I get migraines anyways, so that’s just probably me) so I stopped taking it. I’d do the unisom/b6 until your visit. I know how miserable it can be, but I think weeks 7-9 are the worst for vomiting on average and then it slowly gets better from there. As you’ll see, some people have it throughout their pregnancies. Hang in there…a lot of us have been there. Oh and if you have generous time off, take it now!!! I wish I had taken more vacation days during my first trimester when I was puking my brains out. And here’s a random tip – swimming usually make me feel better because the cool water and weightlessness. It would give me an hour or so of not feeling nauseous.
Anon says
B6 did nothing for vomiting for me, and I couldn’t take the unisom because I work more than 12 hours a day and therefore cannot also sleep for 12 hours. Diclegis did help with the vomiting (again, exteneded release I think made the difference). I found that sucking on lemon heads when I started to get that pre-salty immediately pre-vomit taste would sometimes head it off. And wearing the sea bands 24/7, but really pressing the white piece in when the taste hit.
Also McDonald’s french fries killed the I’m going to puke now nausea instantly (but you had to be passing by a McDonald’s when it hits). Other than that, if I knew I was going to puke, it was just easier to do it and get it over with. My puking was evening, thankfully, only once at the office, but I stashed gallon size ziploc bags everywhere (desk, purse, car) in case it did hit when I was not home.
Anonanonanon says
Thanks! I may try the unisom/B6 combo and see how it goes. I have to get up at 6, so I can’t do it every night for the next few weeks, but just to carry me to my appointment is a good idea.
I’ve read a few places that diclegis helps more than the “roll your own” version, because of the time release. I don’t think it existed during my last pregnancy (2009-2010) so it’s good to know that’s an option. I had phenergan my last pregnancy but it knocked me OUT.
Thanks all, I appreciate it.
Anonanonanon says
PS amazon also has some “cute” barf bags from a company called “morningchicness” (i kid you not) that I ordered that have been useful. I was stressed about how to dispose of a ziplock bag of barf, I didn’t want the cleaning folks at the office to find it. These are much more discreet, they’re just a cute patterned bag that looks like it could have been a gift bag or something.
SC says
This is no help, but loads of empathy. Nothing OTC helped my vomiting. I tried literally everything recommended, and I couldn’t keep down crackers or water. I still am not a huge fan of many things I threw up while pregnant. My doctor prescribed Zofran. Obviously, follow your doctor’s advice, and there are other medications, but you may need something besides sea bands and B6.
Also, stay hydrated. If you can’t keep fluids down and get extremely dehydrated, go to urgent care for IV fluids. (Call your doctor first.)
Anonymous says
Homemade diclegis (B6 + unisom at night) stopped my vomiting. Though mine was much more once a day + car sick.
CHJ says
Any recommendations for maternity shirts that you loved in the 3rd trimester? I’m 34 weeks now and thinking of treating myself to one last item to get me through the home stretch. I’m relatively short (5’2″) and I’m carrying like I have a basketball sticking straight out under my shirt. Any ideas?
October says
Old Navy. They are lightweight, not clingy, and hold their shape (caveat that I bought two years ago, and am now wearing again for #2, so I can’t be certain that the fabric/design hasn’t changed since the). I also carry like a basketball.
Anon says
Old Navy is too small for my 35 week basketball – I had better luck with gap. But I don’t have nice maternity shirts, just t-shirts. I wear dresses when I have to look “nice” for work.
Cb says
No recommendations but buy them now. I didn’t bother buying anything as I was just rotating a few dresses to work and I’m now on maternity leave and have reached the Winnie the Pooh stage with all my tshirts.
Anonymous says
hehe Winnie the Pooh :) What an apt phrase for that time!
bluefield says
If you want something fitted, Isabella Oliver. If you want something drapey, Hatch.
anon. says
if you’re still there, i bought a bunch of oversized flowy shirts (non maternity) from Target in L or XL – even right toward the end. I think that’s an easy thing to do and they’re great for sitting around after the baby with leggings or whatever.
Peanut app? says
Has anyone used this to make parent friends? Experiences?
lsw says
I downloaded it a bit ago but haven’t even opened it yet! So I am interested to hear others’ experiences as well.
Rainbow Hair says
Do you have any recommendations for a lunch box for my toddler? Looking for a cooler-type (like, stays cold w/ an ice pack) that is bigger than the Skip Hop one, but still sturdy and fun-ish. (Bonus if it is purple and/or owl themed!)
Anonanonanon says
I love the PB Kids one I got for my son. It’s structured enough on the inside (some form of hard plastic I guess) to keep its shape, keeps stuff cool, but is fabric on the outside. I believe they come in loads of colors/patterns (we have a star wars one)
Hope this helps!
Playdates says
We’ve used PackIt lunch bags since my 4 y/o was 3 months old. They go in the freezer overnight and keep things cool pretty much all day. I’d say if you were leaving formula/milk in there un-refrigerated from 7am on and wanted it cold at 5pm you’d need to throw in an icepack.
And, it even looks like there is an owl print! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00HJ8DEFO/ref=s9_acsd_al_bw_c_x_5_w
Rainbow Hair says
Thanks, guys! Checking both out!
Anonymous says
Go to Target in the next couple weeks. They will have all the school lunch boxes, like aisles of them. It’s where/when I got mine pre-kiddo. They will have dozens of sizes, styles, materials, etc.