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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
avocado says
What to wear to a fall wedding in a fancy barn in Asheville? Options in my closet are:
1. Midnight blue lace sheath dress. I think this is the best choice, but mini-me is planning to wear a virtually identical dress so I’d have to convince her to wear something else.
2. Black MMLaFleur Rachel dress (simple black v-neck sheath dress). Seems too boring and structured for a barn setting.
3. Short, swingy dress from Anthropologie that looks like it’s made of two giant silk scarves sewn together. This is my go-to dress for daytime events, but I don’t know whether it’s dressy enough for this early evening event. I am also likely to appear in family photos, so I’d prefer a more classic line in a solid color.
I could also possibly shop for a new dress. A printed chiffon maxi seems especially appropriate for a barn wedding, but again there is the trendiness/print issue. I also have a pixie cut, so flowy and ruffly things don’t always work well on me.
Shoes will probably be sandals with a block heel.
Anyone have opinions or style advice? We have never attended a barn wedding before, so I’m not exactly sure what’s expected here.
AIMS says
I just went to a barn wedding and wore a silk, floral print midi dress. All my favorite dresses in attendance were longer, flowy floral types. FWIW, I think these can be pretty classic. The dress I wore, I got at Anthropologie maybe 6 years ago? I’ve since worn it countless times, including to 3 weddings where the dress code was sort of ambiguous, ranging in time from early July to late September. In one I was even an unofficial maid of honor and pictures have all held up.
Anonymous says
Not 2 but any other option sounds great!
AwayEmily says
Take a look at Target’s A New Day line. They have a lot of dresses in the flowery/summer vein, and many are on sale.
GCA says
In order, I’d probably go with 1, 3, 2 – and almost be tempted to twin with mini on purpose (could you find her a similar dress in a different fall color?)
Annie says
+1 Why not twin? It would be cute.
avocado says
You all inspired me to break out of my comfort zone and try something flowy and floral. I did a little lunchtime shopping and ordered a floral silk maxi dress that isn’t at all floofy or ruffly and has a neckline that should be flattering. It color-coordinates with my daughter’s dress, which should look nice in pictures.
I am hesitant to twin with my daughter because at age 11 she’s getting pretty old for that. She still likes to wear matching outfits sometimes for shopping or yoga, but she was not as excited about the idea of matching for this event and I think it might attract too much attention.
ElisaR says
I feel like a pixie haircut is super cute with flowy and floral!
Leatty says
The blazer looks great, but it is listed as $185 on the Anthropologie website, not $128.
Anonymous says
This is admittedly a great problem to have, but do you have any ideas on how to spend money in a dependent care fsa when you don’t have to pay for daycare? We started at a new daycare last September. 2 kids – both got a full scholarship for one year. Which is amazing, and I didn’t expect to get it this year. Well it turns out the scholarship goes through the end of this calendar year, and I will start paying in January of next year. I fully funded my dependent care FSA ($5k) thinking I would be paying for 3 months of daycare this year. Short of hiring a nanny, I can’t think of how to use this money. Dependent care does not roll over to the next year. Prepaying for daycare doesn’t appear to be an option. There is part of me that thinks I should just be thankful for free daycare and move on. And I am so thankful, don’t get me wrong! But I also hate to leave money on the table. If we do hire a nanny, what is the easiest way to handle the taxes? I have a CPA handle my taxes, but if there is an online payroll option, I would rather do that!
mascot says
What about school breaks and days that daycare is closed? Can you use it for that? Do you need to have extra hours of care before/after school?
Anonymous says
Hire a part-time nanny to pick up kids early and take them to swimming lessons (or whatever) to help free up weekends? Like 3-6pm 2-3 days a week or something? Or just pick up kids, bring them home and start supper. Or pick up kids and feed them supper so you and DH can have an early date night dinner? Shouldn’t be hard to find a college student interested in a part-time nanny gig.
Anonymous says
I wanna know more about this scholarship!
J says
Can you cancel for the rest of the year at least? These generally come out of each paycheck through the end of the year so the full $5000 hasn’t been put in yet, and I’d think you can cancel at any time. But I might be wrong. If nothing else, it could be a way to minimize the loss. If it were me, I’d investigate.
Anonymous says
Is it definitely not available after December? Mine doesn’t roll over either, but we have the standard 2.5 month ‘grace period’ so I can use 2018 funds for fees from Jan 1, 2018 to March 15, 2018. If you haven’t double-checked that it might be worth it!
Anonymous says
I don’t think you can spend anywhere near $5k on backup care in 4 months, unless you want/need a ton of it. Honestly, in your shoes, I’d probably turn down the scholarship and tell them to give it to another child. You have the money and it’s going to go to waste if you accept the scholarship.
Anonymous says
Or can you turn down a portion of one scholarship, like $5K worth?
Anonymous says
Thank you! I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me. I called the daycare and I can use the $5k towards November and December fees. They will divert any unused scholarship money to other kids next year. For those interested in why the daycare has scholarships – it is run by a nonprofit that provides programs for kids with special needs. Most families with kids attending the daycare receive some financial assistance. Both my kids have developmental delays. I am so thankful for this solution (and I feel silly for not having though of it!)
rosie says
Sounds like the perfect solution, glad you were able to work it out!
Anonymous says
Summer camp, aftercare/extended day?
Paging GCA re: book recommendations says
Thanks for yesterday’s book recommendations! Just put them on hold at the library. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who loves the Temeraire books so I’m very optimistic. To return the favor… a few I’ve liked recently are First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, the Craft sequence by Max Gladstone, and the Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo.
-AwayEmily
GCA says
Ooh, thank you! I’ve heard good things about Six of Crows too. And have you read Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass by any chance? It’s on my list…
AwayEmily says
No, but just added to mine also, thanks! Oh and Queen of the Tearling series was fun, too.
Anon says
I want to drop down to one pumping session at work.
I currently pump at 9:30 and 1:30 at work for about 15 minutes each. Should I just start pumping at noon or gradually move the times closer together? Do I need to pump longer if I’m just doing one session? Everything online is so ambigous.
Thanks in advance for your advice.
AwayEmily says
I think it varies a lot by person (in terms of your supply) and by the age of the baby. I didn’t have to do a “gradual move” when I dropped to one pump; I just did it and that was it. But my baby was 11 months and so I didn’t have the crazy supply that I did when she was smaller.
Knope says
Do you have flexibility as to when you pump? If so, I would start moving the morning pump up gradually (start at 10:30, then 11:30), and pump in the afternoon only if you feel that you need to for comfort (and only for as long as you need in order to feel comfortable again). If you don’t have flexibility, I would probably try shortening the length of your afternoon pump for a few days before you drop it completely.
CBG says
I just did this last month. I moved the morning onc later for a week or so to 10:30 then 11, and the afternoon one later too, and then moved the afternoon one to only “if needed”- sometimes I was pumping at 4:50 or 5. After about 2 weeks I was pumping mid-day only. I did that for 2 weeks and am now on day 2 of no pumping at work!
As far as time, I just tried to make sure I wasn’t pumping too long, since my goal was to reduce my supply. Babe is now 14 month.
Anonymous says
YMMV, but I have a lot more milk in the morning. I was pumping at 10 and 2 and I was able to just basically drop the 2 pm session (I get home from work around 4 and I pump then if baby isn’t awake and ready to nurse), because my breasts are so much less full in the afternoon. Then I gradually moved the 10 am session back, so now it’s at 11:30ish. If I’d tried just pumping at noon, my breasts would have been really painful and leaky by 11 am. I’m also prone to clogged ducts, so I’m more concerned about engorgement than other people might be.
GCA says
If baby is 11 months and you don’t have freezer-stash anxiety, I think you should have no problem just dropping to one pump at noon – that’s what I did around the same age, and supply adjusted accordingly.
Anonymous says
Wondering if anyone has taken the plunge on becoming a single mother by choice? I’m contemplating it and curious what things you considered and any advice.
Anonymous says
Copied from below because threading broke:
Two moms here, so no single parent advice but have lots of experience with getting pregnant without a male partner if you’re thinking of that route vs adoption.
From the single moms I do know, having a substantial backup network is key, whether that’s local family and friends you can hit up for favors or lots of disposable income and a list of babysitters, etc.
Anonymous says
Yeah def considering the sperm donor route! On the one hand everything I read is like it’s so hard! You need 7 nannies and an involved grandma! But on the other hand I make 150k a year so compared to nearly all single moms I’m rich and maybe I just go for it and figure it out?
KW says
I think you do just go for it and figure it out! That’s what all parents do anyway! But I agree with the above that having a network will be key. Find good daycare and backup care, babysitters, etc. and, maybe for the first year at least, try to outsource things like cleaning or cooking so you don’t have to worry about it and can focus on baby, sleeping, and adjusting to a new normal.
Anonymous says
I’m a divorced mom, have my kid 50% of the time. So not in your shoes, but some advice – if you can afford it and want to do it, DO IT. Having my kid is the best part of my life, even on days when I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed that I want to cry. You will need help when the kid is sick, and also when you are sick, and also when you just need a break. I adore my kid, but I need the time when she is with her dad to catch my breath. I personally would have a hard time without that, but other people make it work. Friends and paid help work if you don’t have helpful family nearby. Do a lot of research and planning around finances and logistics. Be prepared for the first few years to be really rough. But in the end, DO IT. I know one woman who has done this, not well enough to know the details of the struggles, but she seems so so happy with her child. If I didn’t have my child from my marriage and didn’t have a partner, I would be seriously considering this too.
Anonymous says
I’m also a divorced mom, but I have custody. It is HARD. Having one night/week when kiddo is with her father is almost required, for me to keep my sanity. There will be SO MANY MORE sick days than you want/expect during the first daycare year (or two), but it’s completely worth it (meaning, your kid will do all of those sick days as soon as s/he comes in contact with other kids, whether at 4 months old in daycare or at 5 years old in Kindergarten. WAY better imo to have those sick days done when kiddo is an infant, rather than having a 5 year old missing school and being cranky and needing interaction and special foods while sick.) You will lose your patience with your kid. The important thing is to admit it, apologize, and figure out how to move on (and how to prevent it from happening again/often). Daycare is a great way to meet other moms, and you’ll probably “click” most with moms who are single moms due to divorce. If you want to figure it out, you certainly will. I would urge you to look into costs of childbirth and of daycare/childcare before getting pregnant, but beyond that, go for it!
NYCer says
One of my very best friends decided to go the single mom route and she is SO HAPPY. Her mom lives in the same city, which is enormously helpful, but if that is not a possibility, just try to find an extremely reliable babysitter/nanny for back-up care.
OP says
For context, my baby is 11 months and supply is good. Adequate freezer stash.
Toddler sleep trouble says
My almost 2.5 year old has been resisting bedtime by coming up with things she needs – water, cream for her bum, etc. when we go in she is all smiles and wants to play. on a few occasions she will take off her pull up and tell us that she did this which gets us to come in right away. Typically we would ignore her or let her sit in there and babble/cry until she eventually falls asleep. Usually doesn’t take long. Last night she took her pull up off three separate times and then on the last time peed in the bed. I’m almost certain she did this on purpose so we would come in. Any tips? We’ve always had success with simply saying it’s bedtime goodnight see you tomorrow and then leaving and letting her cry a little but I feel like we can’t really do that if she is going to purposefully pee the bed. I’m also due with number 2 in about 3 weeks so I really need to avoid getting into any routines or habits that I’m not going to be able to keep up.
Anonymous says
Our children are kindered spirits. Mines only 23 months, but she’s up to the same tricks. She hasn’t thought to take off her diaper yet, but always says she had to go potty and damn it if she manages to eek out a little pee each time so we keep taking her.
Any chance she’s fighting bed bc she needs to go later, or drop nap/shorten nap? We started shortening nap (sadly) and that has helped with the prolonges bedtime. We also try and tire her out after dinner but before bath- we send her and my 5 y/o outside to play “superhero” aka tag. Sometimes dad blasts them with the hose as the bad guy. Also, mine protests rating so when she’s well fed she goes down better.
Can you tell her if she pulls off the pull-up she has to wear a “baby diaper”? And stick her in a diaper? If she takes that off, tape it on? Idk, I’m just praying mine doesn’t think of this.
sleepissues says
What about doing a sleepsack? if they can do the zipper, sleepsack backwards?
EB0220 says
When my kid does this, one of us goes in. We do whatever she asks for. But we do it without talking or looking at her. Zero interaction whatsoever. This seems to take the fun out of it for her and even though she does still get up once or twice a night, it’s a non-event.
Anon in NYC says
Ugh, my kid did this for a while. We just went in, kept the lights off, asked her what she needed (changed her if needed), and barely spoke to her.
We found that she would tell us that she needed a new diaper when she actually didn’t. If we would refuse to change her diaper she would freak out and escalate for hours. So we just “changed” her diaper (i.e., if it wasn’t actually wet we would just put the same one back on her). Or if she had pulled her diaper off, we’d just put one back on her – no talking about it.
Other times, if she just wanted to ask us a question, we just said, “Goodnight” and left.
SC says
Ugh, I had blocked the stage when our kid started taking off his diaper and peeing (and once pooping) on the floor, multiple times, usually within about a 30-minute period. It was absolutely infuriating, especially because he always seemed really satisfied and amused by the drama of it.
I think the key for us was to stay very calm. One parent would take him to the bathroom, let him sit on the potty, and change his clothes (he almost always had some on his pajamas too).That parent would keep a blank expression and keep conversation to a minimum. The other parent would clean up–we tried to avoid giving him the entertainment of watching us clean up after him. Then we put him back in bed immediately. Once we stopped reacting strongly, it probably took a couple of weeks to phase out.
We also started taking him to the potty before bedtime, even though we hadn’t really started potty training. We’d tuck him in and tell him to keep his pajamas and diaper on. We let him know that he could use the potty if he needed to pee.
Kiddo still asks to go to the potty 2-3 times every evening before he’ll really settle down and go to bed. (We read books, take him to the bathroom, tuck him in, and then he usually goes once or twice more.) In principle we have the same approach–stay calm, don’t engage in conversation, go straight back to bed. He goes to bed sooner when we live up to that ideal, but it can be really frustrating and tempting to argue with him over whether he really needs to go for the 3rd time in half an hour. (Incidentally, though, as much as I’ve thought he can’t possibly need to go potty 2-3 separate times, he almost always pees.)
Anonymous says
Why are jars/pouches of baby food bad? (I mean from a health perspective, obviously they cost more). In my educated, affluent circles EVERYONE makes their own baby food. I tried that for a while, and it was going ok when my baby was having a single ingredient once/day. But now she’s eating more stuff and more often and I just can’t keep up. I’m not a great cook (DH cooks most of our meals at home, but doesn’t want to make baby food – he’d prefer to buy it). I spent basically all of Sunday afternoon pureeing/mashing/freezing which, frankly, sucked. There are many things I’d much rather do on weekend afternoons. I know to avoid added sugar, salt, etc. but at least in my area there are lots of baby food options (including organic) that just list the ingredients as “[veg], [fruit], water” and I’m finding it hard to explain to DH (and to myself, honestly) why these are worse for the baby than homemade food. We already do some store bought stuff like yogurt and infant cereal, fwiw, and we combo fed from birth so she was never an EBF baby.
Marilla says
The only things I can think of are cost (cheaper to make your own) and just the emotional/self esteem halo. I did a combo of making my own food and buying pouches for my daughter. However just as she stopped eating pouches there were a few well publicized recalls of at least one of the brands of pouches we used to buy (PC Organics, in Canada) so that might be something to consider too. How old is your baby though? You can get pretty far without cooking – mashed banana or avocado or just fork mash your own food. And we included non mashed up foods pretty early too. At some point pouches were for convenience (always kept one in the diaper bag) more than for food at home.
Anonymous says
Our pediatrician told us to taste a tiny bit of each pouch before giving it to baby because of recall/spoilage issues. She wasn’t opposed to pouches at all, but didn’t seem as confident in the packaging process and said they can spoil early.
mascot says
I don’t think they are bad. Upside- super convenient, more ingredients, and recipes than you would probably make at home, more consistent product. Downsides- cost, packaging waste, may be trickier with allergies or dietary concerns.
Run your own race here. If making homemade baby food doesn’t work for your family, then don’t make it an activity.
Anon in NYC says
Yep. I made plenty of homemade baby food and also purchased pouches of baby food. There were times where my kid preferred the pouches (probably because they contained more fruit, and therefore sugar, than what I made).
Do what works for your family.
TBH, I’ve occasionally thought about creating a baby food company where you delivered frozen “real” food in puree form (like, squash casserole, or chicken noodle soup) for babies.
Anonymous says
NYT just had a story on this. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/19/well/rethinking-baby-food-pouches.html
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’ve never made our own purees – the time and hassle is just not worth it to us. I guess there is more of a sense of control when you make your own food? If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. IMHO, pouches/jars are fine and lots of babies have them.
GCA says
Beats me! Some arguments I’ve heard advanced might be variations of:
– ‘Purees don’t teach baby how to eat real food; baby-led weaning is the way to go.’ (Counter: Real – well, grown-up – food has a wide variety of textures on a spectrum from mashed potatoes to raw carrots.)
– ‘You don’t know the provenance of storebought jars/ pouches.’ (Counter: like you said, there are loads of options for baby food, including organic. Unless you are a stickler for eating strictly local, the organic apples that go into that jar are likely very similar to the organic apples you get at the grocery store.)
The other unspoken argument is that in educated, affluent circles, parents and especially mothers have been guilted into the idea that putting in the labor to make a thing (mashed steamed carrots) is somehow superior to giving money to an industrial setup to make the same thing for you. There might also be a sense of agency that comes with making one’s own baby food, especially in a world where we feel we have so little control over everything else. Personally, I’m happy to use jars and pouches as just one more option in a healthy, varied diet (…of whatever my kids will eat :))
tartan b says
I consider myself pretty crunchy but I don’t think they’re that bad? I did not have the time or desire to make my own baby food even though we cook most of our own meals. While I’m sure there are some who truly believe it is healthier and better, most of the people who I’ve seen do this are the same times who would constantly remind you their kid has never had a drop of formula. And fast forward a few months, and all your kid will eat is processed mac and cheese and suddenly the jarred food doesn’t seem so awful…
Mrs. Jones says
I never even considered making my own baby food. Son has always been healthy (knock on wood).
Anonymous says
As linked above, I think there are some good arguments about excessively relying on pouches. But I don’t think there’s any huge benefit to making your own purees over jarred purees with high quality ingredients (no added sugar etc). Usually canned food has no fewer nutrients than fresh or frozen food (https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/really-the-claim-fresh-produce-has-more-nutrients-than-canned/).
Annie says
My friend had the best line: making baby food is a hobby. I am pretty crunchy and think they are totally fine.
Knope says
I didn’t do pre-made baby food because I never saw the point in doing purees. We started our kid off with very soft foods like mashed banana, sweet potato, avocado, and yogurt. By the time he was ready for more than single-ingredient foods, he had gotten the hang of chewing and could eat just about anything that you could mash between two fingers – beans, rice, salmon, steamed veggies, etc. I wasn’t really a baby-led weaning purist, but this was a heck of a lot easier than making my own “baby food” and cheaper than buying store-bought stuff.
anon says
This is basically what we did too.
I also didn’t like the idea of store bought baby food because we don’t really eat a lot of shelf-stable/processed food, so why would I give my baby something that doesn’t need to be refrigerated and can sit on a shelf for months? What’s the nutritional value in that? Babies really don’t need that much solids until they are about 12 months anyway. We looked at solids as mostly a fun/practice thing. I also don’t like all the extra waste. A friend gave us reusable food pouches so we’ve on-occasion put some pureed sweet potato or yogurt into that for her.
AwayEmily says
The only reason we resisted them for awhile is because I figured if she never had them it was one less thing to demand. But then I realized that was dumb, because I am the grownup and I could just say no, and so now they are a staple in our diaper bag (we don’t use them at home just because of the cost).
babyfood says
I honestly don’t know. I so badly wanted to make my own baby food, but just didn’t when the baby was eating purees. It was so hard to buy 5 or more different veggies and fruit to create the elaborate purees that are readily available. She loved the variety and trying lots of different things and it was so easy. They are organic, with no preservatives etc. It’s come a long way since a generation prior. I always told myself that my baby benefited more with time with me and my sanity than making purees.
Also, once the baby turns 1, they can start eating a lot more of what you are eating (or even sooner with more teeth), so it’s just a few months. My baby is 14 months now and the only pouch we use is apple sauce and that’s maybe 1-2x week.. come a long way from 6 months when we did a pouch or two daily.
In my circles, the only moms that make their own foods are the ones that stay home and even then it’s very rare. Also, how much more nutritious is freezing or refrigerating your food anyway.
Hugs!
Anon says
I’m currently feeding my 8-month old store bought organic pouches and jars for a number of reasons. DH and I don’t cook much, and when we do, it tends to be the same few things, so this exposes her to more flavors. We both work, and I’d rather spend my time playing with her on the weekends than mashing/pureeing baby food. I’m generally a pretty chill mom, but choking terrifies me, so I’m not emotionally ready to do BLW with my still-toothless baby yet (even though I rationally know BLW would be okay).
My “rules” are that I don’t buy the purees that have fruits and veggies combined; I buy either fruit or vegetable purees so she learns that not everything is sweet and can grow to like the taste of vegetables. No added sugars. I also will squeeze the pouches out into a bowl and then feed her, just so I can make sure nothing’s moldy. Other than that, I’ve yet to “cook” for my kid and she’s doing fine.
Penelope says
I purchased 99% of food in the puree stage as I started a new job when kid was 4 months. There are two things that I learned later that might be helpful here. 1) most of the vegetable/fruit pouch combos contain a LOT more fruit than vegetable. It makes them sweeter but also means that the kid doesn’t get used to the taste of pure vegetables. My 2 year old still doesn’t like vegetables beyond sweet potatoes and carrots 2) most purees are very finely pureed and when we switched to more solid food around 9 months, the kid avoided foods fora long while that weren’t completely smooth or completely solid (like bread). But kid is healthy and eats reasonably well for a toddler now. With hypothetical kid #2, I’d still do a lot of jarred food and start with different textures earlier (lightly food processing whatever the adults were eating).
Anonymous says
On balance- my first got homemade/pouch hybrid, my second was just a bad eater in general as a youngin so we have her whatever calories we could and pouches got them into her best. They’re 2.5 and 5 now and both way better eaters than their peers. I think our method of “eat what we eat” starting as soon as they could eat pieces of things was far more impactful than absence or presence of pouches.
My “pouch only” kid cries when we are out of broccoli and neither likes French fries, tater tots, or chicken nuggets (but they LOVE orange Mac and cheese and fish sticks).
CPA Lady says
Probably a combination of competitive parenting, classism, and parenting-as-a-public-performance. I’m not talking about people who enjoy cooking so they made baby food for fun. I’m talking about people who trash store-bought, like it’s for peasants and other people who don’t really care about their children.
FWIW, I did a combo of pouches and letting my kid eat what I was eating. I am not much of a cook, I was working a ton of overtime, and I didn’t have the desire to make my own baby food. Plus the variety of different fruits and veggies in store bought baby food is much broader than the things I normally cook. She switched to eating mostly daycare-provided real food by the time she was 1, but we still did occasional pouches for convenience for the next year or so. She doesn’t seem to be permanently damaged by eating pureed green beans from the store.
Edna Mazur says
Yup this is us. Mixture of whatever we are eating and store bought (cans) of purees. I never think to grab the baby food, I just spoon some of whatever I am having onto his tray. Had to do baby lead weaning with my second because he refused anything that was pureed or fed to him and I’ve carried that on to number three because convenience. My husband prefers feeding him baby food so we buy that for Daddy feedings.
I think this falls along the lines of “fed is best”. As long as you are feeding kiddo, you win. Personal preference whether that is homemade, store bought, or baby-led.
Anon says
This is us. Mix of jars, pouches, puffs, yogurt melts and then small bits of whatever we were eating. At 1 I occasionally make food for her in the sense that I might put some lightly seasoned chicken in the crockpot so my husband has a quick and healthy protein source for her, or I might microwave frozen diced carrots or frozen peas for her, but she generally eats what we eat (and then when I make or buy what we eat I try to make sure there are components of it that appeal to her).
Anonymous says
+1 to this. I make my DS food, but also because I love to cook and do the meal prep/planning for our family and am always looking at new recipes. For me, mashing additional veggies, cooking an additional pot of beans, etc. is pretty simple and I enjoy it. If I didn’t, I would not. It’s not worth the hassle while working FT and managing all the other things. Plus DS daycare also provides 3 meals and a snack, so I don’t have to pack him food for the day, but just supplement if I want. If they didn’t, I’d 100% be using the ready made stuff more. I do keep the pouches and jars on hand to supplement as needed, take on the go, etc. I don’t think one method is superior to the other, as long as they are eating. Also, soon after the 6 month mark, they are able to eat a lot of different things and eat stuff off of your plate (which is also so fun!). SCREW THE GUILTMONGERS.
anon says
No judgment here, but we prioritized making baby food (for that short period) because my husband and I both think that fresh, homemade food tastes better. We opted to feed our baby like we would ourselves and a pouch looks really unappetizing to me. Truthfully, both of our kids moved through the puree stage and onto table food really quickly so we probably only spent a couple of afternoons making baby food, plus we pureed some dinner leftovers on weeknights. It was about a 6 week stage at most. Our kids now are happy to slurp down apple sauce pouches, but we try not to make it a habit.
anon says
Just to put this in context, my husband is the cook in our family and he does things like dry and grind his own peppers for taco seasoning, can his own tomato sauce from home grown tomatoes, pick berries and make homemade jam, bakes all of our bread and tortillas, and makes homemade peanut butter. He really likes “fresh” food so he’s used to putting in more effort in the kitchen. I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten to this place on my own, but now it’s just part of how we eat.
GCA says
Can I come over for dinner?!
We’re sort of halfway there – I really enjoy cooking, making jam/ applesauce/ bread from scratch, etc, but with mod cons like the Instant Pot. But I agree with the wisdom of CPA Lady above – there’s a difference between making food (including baby food) as a hobby you love, and feeling forced to because of competitive/ performative parenting.
I will say this though: no one in our family was a fan of pureed green beans. Homemade *or* storebought. There are some things that should not be pureed.
AwayEmily says
I just gave my baby pureed green beans (store bought) yesterday! I tasted it first and it was super gross so added a whole bunch of lemon juice and a tiny tiny bit of salt (I know, babies aren’t supposed to have salt, but it was like three grains). And daycare reported he ate it all. So maybe this is a halfway there solution — doctoring up store-bought baby food.
Lana Del Raygun says
This makes a lot of sense to me — homemade food is nicer, and babies also deserve nice things, but every nice thing is not a moral imperative.
Lily says
I am full time working mom. I have never thought jar/pouch of baby food is bad. I just enjoy the process of making it myself, using fruits and vegetables that are locally grown (including in my backyard) and in season. However, my 7 month old is not eating a lot of solid food yet (1 serving of veg + 1 serving of fruit), so I don’t find I am spending a lot of time making his food.
I have bought jars of prunes puree because I think that’s something that can come handy to help with constipation.
SC says
I made and froze a few single-ingredient baby foods. It never took very long, and one batch lasted a month or so. I never made complicated baby food recipes. I also bought jars and pouches.
It doesn’t feel like it at the time, but most babies move from purees to mashed table foods to regular table foods pretty quickly. The all-puree stage is only a few months, and then you can move to mashed foods and then small bites, which are easier to make yourself. So go ahead and buy the purees and jars if that makes things easier for you.
I stopped buying pouches for cost and environmental reasons once Kiddo was eating “regular” food. We used the Skip Hop mealtime kit (reusable containers, a cooler, and a freeze pak) to take snacks and meals with us when we needed to. That doesn’t mean I cook all my Kid’s food though–Kiddo usually eats what we eat for dinner, but we have a long list of foods that don’t require cooking, or require very little cooking, for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinners that we don’t eat with him or where we’re just cleaning out the refrigerator.
AIMS says
Besides the sugar (check the pouches – most are over 13 g. per pouch), there’s the environmental impact because you can’t recycle the pouches (I don’t think) and also I think there’s a school of thought that it’s not a great habit to eat out of pouches, and kids benefit from eating “real food” from a plate with a spoon. I think that last bit can obviously be addressed by squeezing out the pouch though I suppose the temptation is there to just give over the pouch because that’s part of the “fun” for the kid, plus who wants more dishes?
I think that obviously whatever you choose is fine, but I really don’t get it when people say it’s too hard to make your own baby food. I did it with my daughter and doing it now with my new kid (and we still make food for older kid but now she mostly eats what we eat) and it is just about the easiest thing I do all day. I don’t do any of the batch cooking or the recipes on mommy blogs, I use a $29 mini food processor and I usually make it the night before or morning off while doing other things and it takes no time or effort. Part of the reason is that for me, I think food is better when it’s fresh and warm. I know that there is a lot of “competitive parenting” about this stuff and I don’t think I am that type of parent at all (my kids watch plenty of TV!), I just find this really easy so I do it.
Eh says
I am glad this works for you, but for a lot of people getting out a food processor to make baby food with ingredients that you had to go to the store, select, bring home, wash, in some cases steam or cook (carrots, etc), and then run through the food processor does take time and effort.
Anonymous says
Yes. I’ve made some of my own food and used some jars but I definitely think making baby food is quite time-consuming. I don’t think it’s “too hard” but I think it is another chore and most people who work full time and have a baby don’t have time for lots and lots of chores.
avocado says
I tried making my own baby food exactly once. Kiddo made the most comical expressions of revulsion, I tasted it and thought it was icky, and I did not enjoy cleaning the food processor.
anon says
I think the main thing is that if you are making your own food, you control what goes in it. (Same logic for cooking from scratch vs a frozen dinner for adults). Jars and pouches aren’t necessarily bad, but you should pay attention to sugar content and ingredients. My son loved real, actual fruit so I never gave him jars or pouches with fruit in them. Vegetables were/is harder so I did buy jars and pouches of veggies, but always got ones that don’t have any fruit mixed in. Which is harder to find, but fruit adds a much higher sugar content and isn’t necessary, especially when he eats fruit so well on its own.
One exception – I do occasionally buy pureed pears to mix in with plain yogurt. And on occasion, we’ve gotten him apple sauce pouches if we’re on the go or there is no other option.
Anony says
The downside not mentioned thus far is potential exposure to unnecessary chemicals contained in the lining of the pouches, which could seep into the food. For context, I feel that way about most products that come from cans or bottles.
avocado says
I bought organic purees in glass jars. Do they still have those?
Anonymous says
I don’t know what chemicals a glass jar could have. Plastic is a different story, although I think anything aimed at kids these days is BPA-free and my doctor said the main concern with plastics & chemicals comes when you heat it up. So take the food out of the pouch before microwaving it.
Anon says
Exactly. Glass jars are OK. Pouches are lined with chemicals that mimic estrogens. Yes, they are BPA free but contain other similar chemicals.
Anon says
https://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/ehp3189/
June says
I make most/a lot of my kid’s baby food in part because my mom made all our baby food and all of us were good (not picky) eaters. Also because I feel guilty for stopping breastfeeding at 8 months. His daycare teacher says he poops more (as a good thing) because he eats homemade food and the preservatives in pre-made food can cause constipation.
For me its also a taste and texture thing. I think the food I make tastes better than the jars and introduces him to more textures. I wouldn’t want to only eat processed food, and I feel bad enough for giving him formula. I make one or two purees a week with random produce we have left that. I sometimes use shortcuts like frozen chopped spinach or canned carrots with no added salt.
Anonymous says
Two moms here, so no single parent advice but have lots of experience with getting pregnant without a male partner if you’re thinking of that route vs adoption.
From the single moms I do know, having a substantial backup network is key, whether that’s local family and friends you can hit up for favors or lots of disposable income and a list of babysitters, etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t think pouches are bad but i felt the same pressure to make my own baby food when my LO first started eating solids. Only after I did some calculations and really looked at the ingredients did I realize making my own was not worth the time or energy. If you have an aldi near you the pouches there are simple ingredients and very inexpensive.
Anonymous says
Just buy some baby food, I say. If the preservatives make you nervous, there is a brand called Once Upon A Farm that I found on Amazon that sells refrigerated purees. (Obviously more expensive.) I’m not crazy about the fact that many of them include apple or something similar as the base, so end up packing a lot of sugar, so I do a mix.
Also, if you’ve been at this for a while, how old is your baby? After a couple months of purees, baby is probably ready for a lot more finger food, which makes life easier (in some respects!) For reference, my 8-month-old gets mostly finger food, some yogurt fed to him with a spoon, and maybe 3-4 pouches of puree per week (mostly when we run out of finger food and he’s still hungry, or if the rest of the family is eating something that can’t be easily cut into finger food for the baby).
Turtle says
I’m in need of some practical, not over the top time consuming or expensive skin care advice.
I’m EBF, 4 months postpartum. I think I’m recently and abruptly going through some hormonal shifts – hair is falling out like CRAZY which started 2-3 weeks ago. About the same time my meh-quality skin went from normal-for-me to insanely red and blotchy, especially first thing in the morning. I’ve experienced some level of redness in the morning or after a shower (don’t we all?), but this is new and pretty darn intense.
I wash with Cetaphil in the shower and at night, use Clinique toner and Clinique moisturizer. That’s been the routine for 5+ years. Eventually my skin settles down, but it’s multiple hours. Most days I have to just put foundation and concealer directly on while it’s still red because I can’t wait 2+ hours for it to chill out in the morning before work.
Thoughts? Is this what dermatologists are for? I never had good skin care modeled for me. I suffered with bad acne when, honestly, I feel like medical intervention would have spared me a lot of pain as a teen. Not really sure where to start, but I’m thinking my routine and products need to evolve with my evolving skin.
Lana Del Raygun says
I have heard that “hair and nails” vitamins (with biotin) help a lot, but no personal experience.
My skin is pretty red and it helps me to keep it very hydrated (Dr Thayer’s and hyaluronic acid work well imo). I also use azelaic acid, and Aveeno Calming moisturizer (in the summer; in the winter I use CeraVe in the tub). I’m not familiar with Clinique’s toner — maybe you need something gentler or less astringent?
J says
I’d check with your doc on the “hair and nails” vitamins. I think they contain some of the same ingredients as prenatals (which I continued to take while breastfeeding – not sure if you are).
Does your skin seem dry and sensitive? That’s my skin type. I’d skip the toner. Products I’m loving right now: Neutrogena Hydroboost cleanser and gel moisturizer and L’Oreal collagen day/night. The L’Oreal especially. It is is cheap; I slather it all over my face (sometimes twice a day), and it is so moisturizing. I’ve noticed a big difference with it. I’ve never been impressed with Cetaphil products at all. I don’t get the hype.
rakma says
I developed Rosacea sometime between Kid 1 and Kid 2, and only found out about it when at the Dermatologist for a mole check. I’m still working out the best course of action for that, but I will say that my skin has changed drastically in the past 5 years. I now need more moisture, and can’t tolerate anything remotely harsh. I don’t know how much of this was hormonal shifts, and how much was just getting to my mid-thirties.
I’ve added a night cream, (Eucerin Redness relief) and hyaluronic acid day and night under another moisturizer. Keeping my skin moist seems to help most with the redness.
This may also adjust once you stop BF, I had a huge hormone change when my second weaned.
Turtle says
Would a derm recommend OTC/drugstore products in addition to diagnose and treat medical issues like rosacea and acne? Or is the derm best suited for the annual skin check and then I need an esthetician or something what I need in order to get the right products for my skin?
My cousin is an esthetician at an derm’s office (a long plane ride away – not close enough to ask for advice). Maybe that’s what I need? Someone who is part of a practice as opposed to a spa? Or am I getting colder, not warmer, with this idea?
rakma says
I think it depends on the derm. I’ve had ones who sell skincare lines in the office (not a huge fan of that model, but I’m sure others appreciate the convenience) Most will recommend cleansers and OTC treatments as needed. For more in-depth products, like masks and serums, an esthetician in a derm’s office might be a better call.
anon says
I don’t have excessively red skin, but I started using a hyaluronic acid serum every night about 4 months ago and my skin tone is much more even. I put it on before my moisturizer.
CPA Lady says
FWIW, hair falling out is normal. I think it’s a reason a lot of women get a mom haircut. Mine fell out in clumps between months 3-6 for me to the point where I almost had male pattern baldness. The regrowth period was even worse than the baldness. My hair got back to normal around the time my kid turned 2. If you have short hair it might not take so long.
Anon in NYC says
The hair is definitely hormones. I lost so much hair that I had a bald patch, which was not awesome.
Is there something else going on with your skin other than it looking red and blotchy? Is it hot, dry, irritated, etc? Regardless, I think you can absolutely go to a derm and say: I had a baby 4 months ago, I’m pretty sure my hormones are going crazy, this is happening with my skin, what can I do to address this and/or can you recommend any products that might soothe it.
I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older that I need to be really gentle with my skin (gentler face wash, richer moisturizers, etc.), so that could be an issue. Perhaps try incorporating a night cream.
FTMinFL says
Collagen powder mixed into my coffee solved the exact same problem for me at 4 months postpartum with my second. I was actually shocked at how it seemed to stop the issues in their tracks! For reference, I had the same issues around the same time pp with my first, did nothing, and it resolved around 6 months pp. If nothing else, this like everything else hormonal will pass!
Anonymous says
Can you recommend a product? I have similar issues to OP and I’ve never heard of collagen powder.
J says
Different poster, but I like this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Further-Food-Collagen-Peptides-Protein/dp/B01M8I6I3M
Marshmallow says
It’s expensive but I love Vital Proteins brand. It dissolves so well and has zero taste.
FTMinFL says
Late post, but Vital Proteins is what I use.
Marshmallow says
I don’t see a serum or moisturizer in your morning routine, only at night? I would try adding some kind of gentle moisturizer in the mornings. Use your Clinique moisturizer both morning and night, and skip the toner. The Clinique toner has alcohol in it, which can be irritating.
Are you wearing sunscreen? Try adding the Dr. Jart Cicapair green-tinted sunscreen under your foundation. I have eczema and this stuff is amazing for calming down my skin and evening out the redness before I put on makeup.
rosie says
I only tried making my own because someone got us (unsolicited, not a registry item) one of those baby food maker steamer/blender things. My baby had a very brief phase where she ate purees (some homemade, some jarred) before she wanted other things–I found the BLW cookbook helpful with ideas although did not subscribe to it doctrinally. So now I have bags of homemade purees (including some made w/bmilk) in my freezer that maybe someday she’ll eat as a dip but most likely they’ll get tossed. That is to say, don’t bother making your own if it’s not going to bring you joy.
rosie says
Ugh should have been a reply above.
Lana Del Raygun says
Should I register for a nursing pillow? I will be nursing on the sofa, not in a glider or armchair, for what that’s worth. Is there any way to predict whether I’ll want one? One of my sisters swears by hers and one of them never used or wanted one.
Anonymous says
I nursed on the sofa and used one ALL the time. They are not expensive, so I’d go for it.
Anon in NYC says
I used one too. Pillows couldn’t get kiddo high enough. I personally preferred the brest friend (such an awful name) since it was so firm and could really keep kiddo supported, especially in the early days. When she got bigger, the boppy was helpful just to provide some support to my arm (and we used it when she was learning to sit).
June says
I also preferred the breast friend in the early days. Later I preferred the boppy deluxe? with the firm bottom. A lot of it depends on your anatomy. I have a short torso, short arms and a large chest. My baby was also a preemie and tiny for a long time.
AIMS says
I never used one and honestly prefer nursing lying down whenever possible. Will your sister be done with hers by that point so you can borrow hers or take the one that the other sister never used? Some people find them useful as baby loungers for 6 month olds who can’t quite sit upright. I’m of the mind that it’s not so expensive that you need to get in on your registry now; you can always get it if you decide to later. I would recommend registering for a boppy lounger instead! It’s seriously amazing for the short period of time you can use it with a newborn.
AwayEmily says
Maybe put a call out from a used one? I somehow ended up with two and hated both of them. Would love to give them away. I suspect there are a lot of people like me.
LH says
I’m a baby gear minimalist (didn’t buy a diaper bag, Rock N Play, bouncer, bottle or wipe warmer, etc), but I would put the Boppy (or another b-feeding pillow) as one of the most crucial baby items beyond mandatory things like a car seat and crib or other safe sleep area. I can nurse without it and have done so when we’re out at a restaurant, but my arms get tired quickly and I miss having it. I still use it for every nursing session at home and generally take it with us when we travel (baby is almost 7 months). One of my friends tried to nurse without a pillow and severely injured her wrist. I’d say buy one and if you don’t like it for some reason you can always donate it or just use it as a regular pillow. They’re not that expensive.
GCA says
Unfortunately there’s no good way to tell. I never used one with my first and had to mostly nurse lying down/ reclining because Thing 1 had a hard time with a super strong let-down. With Thing 2, either I don’t have such a ridiculous let-down or she has an easier time with it, so I’m using the Boppy for nursing all the time. It’s also useful for varying baby position to get the milk out from various angles – good for preventing plugged ducts! Right now I mostly nurse sitting upright on the couch/ glider/ in bed. Could you borrow one for a couple of weeks and then buy one later if you need it?
KateMiddletown says
YES! Boppy is awesome, although some people prefer my bre@st friend (seriously it’s called that) b/c it’s flat and you can set a drink on it or whatever while nursing. Either one I’d consider a necessity. (And throw it on the registry b/c you’d rather have something marginally useful than another 0-3mo baby onesie set!)
Turtle says
I love the Boppy. It was a little stiff at first – didn’t fit great around my postpartum belly – but after a few weeks it became really great to use. I’ve also watched my 8mo nephew and 11 mo old niece use it for various other things, like sitting up (8 mo old) and a soft crawling target (11 mo old). Absolutely toward the top of my list of baby gear.
Anonymous says
My 4-y-o still uses her Boppy to play. It was used most often during diaper changes on the floor, between ages like 9 months to 3 years old. I am so grateful for that silly pillow! I rarely used it during BFing, but used it all the time for sitting baby up when she was little, too.
ElisaR says
I registered for a boppy and wound up buying a br*astfriend pillow …. I use the boppy once the kid is older for assisting in sitting up. I wouldn’t say it was necessary to have. My lac consultant insisted on the other one pillow. I liked it. Newborns kinda slide/roll into the crack between boppy and my belly.
I really think the nursing pillow is helpful in the beginning (if) you don’t feel super confident or are having trouble getting a good latch. Once they are older (and you are more comfortable with nursing) I didn’t use it as much…..but I really used it a lot in the beginning with both of my sons.
Anonymous says
See if you can borrow one! Every one has preferences and it’s kind of impossible to tell what you’ll like until you’re using it.
Anonymous says
I am team “no”. I had a boppy and only used it sit kiddo in before she could sit up on her own. I have a very short torso, and the thing seriously is as tall/deep/whatever as the distance between my legs and my boobs. My baby was at my neck sitting on it. I nearly exclusively nursed her in the recliner rocker in the nursery. The arms on it are very comfortable and provided all the support I needed to support kiddo while nursing.
GGFM says
as a counterpoint, I have a long torso and had a very small (6lb) baby so needed some help raising the baby for quite some time. The poppy didn’t lift the baby high enough, but I ended up using the my br*stfriend pillow until for 4 months and even traveled with an inflatable version. depends a lot on the size of baby and mom, and other things you probably can’t predict just yet.
Anonymous says
I agree this is something you can get used for free or cheap – this is true of almost any baby product with a short lifespan. I had a free boppy and a free my breast friend. I loved the latter, especially for those moments when I needed to walk around bouncing up and down to soothe the hangry baby enough to latch. I often used a throw pillow under one side of it to create an incline, which was [theoretically] helpful for my son’s reflux. And I much preferred his copious spit up on the washable MBF cover to our less washable throw pillows.
Anonymous says
I got a Boppy as a hand me down with my first and I’m still using it with baby #3. My kiddos liked being propped up on it too in addition to the support from the nursing days. My husband uses it as a neck pillow sometimes too. One of my top 10 baby items.
ER says
I’m finished with nursing my second baby and I’m going to celebrate by buying new bras. I’m a very flat 36A — any recs? I’d love something like a supportive tight fitting sports bra without the wide straps. Also, remind me — am I always going to look this…deflated? Lol.
AO says
I’d recommend waiting a few months before buying too many. I found that after about six months, things filled back out a little more. Still droopy, but less of the empty sack feeling.
ER says
Thanks! That’s what I vaguely remember from my first, I guess.
Anon says
Congratulations!!! Not always going to look so deflated, but it took me about a year and a half to get more shape there. So I say buy 2-3 nice firm bras to last a little while. I did end up switching back to soft bras recently which I find more comfortable but not until I felt a little fuller there. That was my hallelujah moment :)
LH says
How early do kids need socialization with other kids? I don’t have local mom friends and my almost 7 month old had never met another baby until a dear friend visited this past weekend with her 9 month old. My baby seemed to absolutely LOVE having another baby to hang out with, and now I feel a little guilty that she isn’t having play dates (I know they don’t really “play” at this age, but they at least interact a little bit). For various reasons, she’s probably not going to start daycare until she’s at least 18 months, possibly closer to 2. I’d love to join a local mom’s group, but in my area they are all aimed at SAHMs and are held at super inconvenient times like Tuesdays at 10:30 am.
mascot says
What does baby do during the day? Can that caregiver take her on outings where there will be other people/kids in the vicinity? Are there any weekend story hours or music groups or whatever? Can you spend some time on the weekends at parks/playgrounds?
Anonymous says
What’s happening to her during the day? Nanny can take her to play dates or baby music
LH says
Our caregiver is mostly my mom, and she would prefer not to drive the baby unnecessarily. She’s mentally and physically fit and I have no qualms about her driving the baby to the doctor in an emergency, but she is older and I understand why she’d prefer to minimize how much time they spend in the car. She also is not really a fan of babies who are not her granddaughter (I get it, I’m not a baby person either) and is not enthusiastic about attending a playgroup. At this age, she can’t really drop the baby off at an activity – she’d have to stay there and getting her to do that would be a battle I don’t think I want to fight.
I’ve checked every library/community center/etc in our area and can’t find a weekend story time or playgroup. She’s too little for playgrounds I think (she’s not mobile at all yet), but that’s something we’ll try to do when she’s a little older.
Anonymous says
You mom needs to drive her to something! Or get other childcare!
Anonymous says
This. Maybe a college student as a nanny one day a week and they could take Baby to a music class or similar?
Baby will have a very hard time adjusting to daycare if they are alone in the house with Grandma all day.
SC says
+1. I would either hire a sitter to pick Baby up from Grandma’s and take her to a play group or class a couple of days a week, or I would put Baby in a daycare a couple of mornings a week between 12 and 18 months.
FWIW, my son had a nanny until he was about 16 months, and he didn’t see other kids during the week. The nanny would take him to the playground every morning, but I don’t think there were other kids there most of the time. On weekends, we spent a lot of time with family, including his cousin, who’s 6 weeks younger. He saw other babies at mom-and-baby yoga classes (6 weeks until he started crawling) and baby swim classes (starting at maybe 8 months), but I don’t think he interacted with them much. Kiddo started daycare full-time, 5 days a week, around 16 months, and he was fine.
Anonymous says
Is there a Little Gym near you? Those classes were a hit with my kids and they often had weekend options.
Anon in NYC says
Is there possibly a grandparents caregiver group near you? I sometimes see meet ups in my area for them. Perhaps she’d be interested in meeting people close to her age while they watch small babies?
mascot says
How about parent’s morning out or a similar nursery program where she only goes a couple of hours a week? These types of programs are designed to give your mom a break and give your daughter some socialization. Try local churches or YMCAs/JCCs for options.
ElisaR says
maybe a swim class? We started swim on saturday mornings at 6 months. It was a little young to actually learn swimming but by 12 months he was definitely learning to safely get in/out of the pool and we met a lot of kids his age that led to social interaction (birthday parties, holiday parties that kind of thing).
rakma says
My MIL is our main caregiver, and she also was not super comfortable driving with my kids when they were under a year (didn’t help that the oldest would scream the whole time she was in the carseat until she was like 10 months!) There are cousins about the same age that we see a few times a year, but there wasn’t a huge amount of socialization.
We didn’t really find it to be an issue. When DD1 was 18 months, they started going to a library program, and now she’s 4.5, going into Pre-K, and last year at preschool she couldn’t pick a best friend because she was friends with everyone. I don’t think her lack of socialization for her first year had any ill effect whatsoever.
Also, the classes and programs and storytimes are so much more interesting for everyone after the 1-year mark. You might want to see how everyone feels at that point before doing something like adding another caregiver.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t worry much at 7 months but try to get baby more involved with other kiddos by the 1 year mark. My first went to daycare early, my second started at 15 months (but had an older sister around). My third has a nanny but also has 2 sisters and goes to a 2 y/o morning out type program 2 days/week.
govtattymom says
I don’t know if lack of interaction with other kiddos has ill-effects, but I do know that my daughter LOVED interacting with other children starting around 7 months. One of the little girls in her infant class was a constant companion. Her teacher told me that the two of them could not stand to be apart. My daughter is now almost two and she talks about her daycare friends constantly. Her eyes light up when she tells me about them. She also hugs and waves goodbye to them during pickup. I’ve heard people say that kids don’t really have friends until they are older, and that has not been our experience at all.
if I knew says
I’ve heard kids dont really actively play with other kids till she 2 but my 14 month old LOVES kids and runs up to all kids at playground and gets very very excited at playdates. I was not planning on mothers day out until age 2 but I enrolled her this fall for 2x week, 3 hours a day because I think she will love being around other kids! You could also do Little Gym and gymboree type things on weekends (we are too lazy but people love them)
Food options? says
Any easy dinner ideas other than pizza for when you are having friends with kids over? We usually default to pizza because it is easy to order, customizable, all our kids love pizza, and you can eat with your hands. But man, am I getting tired of eating pizza. One week we had pizza for dinner three nights in a row because we were hanging out with different friends. We did Chipotle once, which the grown ups loved, but the kids were only mildly interested in, though they are it anyway. Bonus points for vegan options.
Anonymous says
Tacos and/or quesadillas are easy with kids. You can adjust ingredients as you see fit. Pasta works too as does a fruit platter and cut-up veggies.
J says
Are you opposed to cooking for these events (and totally understand if you are – most of my ideas just tend that way because I love to cook)? Spaghetti, tacos, grilled hot dogs/hamburgers, lasagna, appetizer spread (guac and chips, fruit tray, veggie tray, hummus and various dippers), baked potato bar.
Anonymous says
Grilled chicken and salad. Spaghetti with meatballs cheese and vegan tomosto sauce to mix and match. Hummus, cut up veggies, hard boiled eggs, bruschetta
anon says
I think you have to be willing to put a little work in. If you do prep ahead of time, pretty much any meal is easy when people come over. My region is warm all year so we utilize our grill quite a bit.
Grill chicken breast and corn on the cob (a huge hit with our son and his friends right now). Make salad and mac and cheese. Grill burgers and hotdogs as an alternative.
chili in the crock pot
chicken in the crockpot that can be used for tacos. Skinnytaste has a couple good recipes.
stirfry veggies and chicken. make rice in a rice cooker and have people serve themselves.
I’d just make sure you have at least one side dish you know will be a hit with the kids. For us that is usually fruit and/or some sort of carb. But I don’t cater my meals specifically to toddlers.
AIMS says
If you’re into ordering, you can order something for the adults and then have some pasta (plain or with sauce) on hand for the kids who don’t want to eat the take out. We’ve done that before and it takes the pressure of ordering something “kid friendly” and the kids will usually try some of the “adult” food anyway.
Anon says
We order Indian food with tons of roti. Kind of like pizza in that you get bread with toppings, but much more varied. In my experience, roti is easier for kids to handle than tortillas (softer and more pliable?). And tons of veg (but not vegan usually) options. Caveat is you have to get everything not spicy or the kids won’t eat it, but you can serve with curry paste to add for adults and still so much better than endless pizza. Our other one was to order premade sandwiches and kids liked it but I was lukewarm on it. I need warm food to feel happy. And the last one that everyone loves is shishkabobs. You can usually order at your local Mediterranean place and there are vegan options like falafel. Kids usually like babaganoush with pitas too.
Anonymous says
Lebanese or generic middle eastern? If there is such a place near where you live, chances are they’ll have some kind of mezze platter that is largely vegan.
Playdate woes says
Older kid question: My daughter has a few friends whose parents love to say YES. This means almost every time she hangs out with them for a playdate, they go shopping somewhere and purchase sweets for the kids. We’re not super strict about sugar, but last weekend she and her friend made cupcakes together, then “really wanted to go out for a treat” (per friend’s mom), which apparently meant going to Target and spending $10 each on Shopkins, plus a caffeine free frappucino. This was at 8pm at night on the way back to our house to drop her off. We’ve also had experiences where a playdate means going to the mall and coming home with bags of crap from Justice. It’s not a financial burden for either family to spend $20 here or $10 there, and it wouldn’t be for us, but we are definitely not supportive of buying treats and toys “just because.” We tell the parents, thank you, but you didn’t have to do that, and we’ve offered to pay before, but honestly, I’d rather they not go shopping or buy cookies and treats or whatever in the first place.
We talked to our daughter about this right before she went to the playdate last weekend, knowing that it had happened before, but I think it’s an activity that the mom/parents offer up to pass the time. I hate to think the only recourse is to cut off playdates with these friends, but it seems like we have very different philosophies on what is appropriate and what isn’t. Thoughts?
Anonymous says
I think you should not offer to pay, tell the parents you’d rather they not buy things for your daughter, and then let it go.
avocado says
This happens sometimes with one of my daughter’s friends. Her parents will take the kids to a play or concert (I don’t have a problem with this part; we do the same thing) and then walk around downtown and buy the kids books or candy or whatever. They also give overly generous birthday gifts and put together extravagant gift baskets for Halloween and Valentine’s Day. I don’t quite understand it, because they are anti-consumption in many other ways, and it makes me uncomfortable, but the best solution I’ve found is to say “Thank you, you really didn’t need to do that” and to tell my daughter to say “no, thank you” as much as possible without being rude.
I wouldn’t cut off playdates with these friends–I’d just have semi-regular chats with your daughter about how all families have different rules and priorities. When a kid is old enough to start going out in the world on her own, she’s inevitably going to find herself all sorts of environments that don’t match up with her home environment. Your job as a parent is to decide what’s a dealbreaker and what isn’t. We choose to focus on safety, so no hanging out in homes with weapons (or, when she was younger, with pools), without adult supervision, etc. With conflicting values, sometimes it’s a dealbreaker and sometimes it isn’t. I wouldn’t put consumerism in the dealbreaker category. If you have too many dealbreakers, your kid won’t have many friends and won’t have the opportunity learn to make her way in a world that doesn’t line up perfectly with her expectations and preferences.
Anonymous says
I would just say that some people just genuinely enjoy giving – to a point of maybe being too extreme about it. Putting together the stuff at holidays is an enjoyable hobby for some folks at holidays and part of getting in the spirit. I’d just go with it like avocado said.
SC says
I agree with avocado’s approach. You can host more play dates and model different behavior. But I also think it’s healthy for kids to spend time with different families with different values, especially if you’re able to have discussions about that with your daughter. It doesn’t seem that there’s anything inherently wrong or unsafe here–it just doesn’t match your values.
Anonymous says
This was my parents attitude. No to houses with guns, ungated pools, drug use in front of kids (yes, this really happened!) etc. But if they were just people who had different values I could go, and usually we’d talk about it afterwards.
Anonymous says
It might be time to help plan playdates – maybe suggest an activity for the kids to do? But generally I agree with avocado.
Anonymous says
Or host more often and model what you’d like to see them doing.
Anonymous says
Not sure exactly how old your kid is— but maybe you should just try and have these kids over more and help structure time more in line with what you’d like to see.
My 5 y/o got picked up to go to the park with a friend and told me they (a) watched Tv on the way there (it’s like 1.5 miles away, max!), stopped for donuts AND had French fries on the way back. Whatever, it was one time. But I way saying no to TV and donuts for a week. Now I just ask that kid over more.
Knope says
Baby/toddler swim classes – yay or nay? My 17 month old loves the splash park and practically begs to go outside in the rain. I think he’d enjoy swim classes, but all of the ones at the public pools are full and I don’t see much in the way of classes at private pools (private lessons seem silly for a kid this young, but maybe I’m wrong?). Anyone have thoughts on whether we should just wait until he’s a little older to do classes, or have recommendations for swim classes in DC or Silver Spring for the fall?