I’m a huge fan of one-and-done rompers for babies and toddlers. My toddler son is going through a phase where he thinks taking off his pants is hilarious — a romper would make it a lot harder for him to explore his diaper.
I love Winter Water Factory’s patterns, and their mushroom pattern appeals to the fairytale lover in me. The pretty green-and-red pattern is gender-neutral, the four snaps make diaper changes a breeze, and it’s made in Brooklyn with organic cotton.
The great thing about Winter Water Factory is that you can get the same pattern in a variety of styles — dresses, jumpsuits, shorts, tees, and even clothes for mom! I’m imagining a lot of cute, matching sibling pics this summer.
The summer romper is $44 and available in sizes 0 to 18 months; it’s also available in many other prints and solid colors.
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This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off full-price pants and shirts; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Eloquii – $19 and up select spring styles; 40% off everything else
- J.Crew -25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price dresses, skirts, accessories & shoes
- Zappos – 23,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 30% off Easter and spring to summer styles
- Carter’s – Extra 20% off spring sets = up to 60% off
- buybuyBaby – Spring sale: Up to 40% off
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Moms of young elementary school kids – what do you do for aftercare? My older son is going into K this September (hopefully all in person!) and we’re trying to plan for various aftercare scenarios. The school has a great aftercare program but apparently space is limited and it’s a lottery, so we don’t know if we’ll get in. If we don’t, we’re thinking of some combination of grandparent pickup and sitter pickup to watch him for the two hours after school. One of us will likely be WFH every day, so that makes me more comfortable with a high school sitter. Do you all hire high schoolers for this? Or is college and up more appropriate? What do you have them do with the kids – give a snack and just hang out? Do you have them do any house work?
While I’m excited for him to start, I am not excited for all of the logistics that come with public school (not even thinking about summer yet).
Anonymous says
For 2 hours I wouldn’t expect house work. I’d expect pick up (so high school didn’t work for me because of the drive), snack, park or other active outdoor play, home to unpack back pack
Anon says
When I was in college I was an after school sitter. I came to their apartment an hour (or hour and a half) before the school bus drop off and grabbed the shopping list and did few errands around the neighborhood. (Dry cleaning, grocery shopping, drug store runs). I’d take the kid to play dates once or twice a week (sometimes I’d meet her there, since school /friends were uptown), supervise homework, make sure she showered, get her dinner. When she needed a math tutor I let him in the apartment and supervised. I was also available for some evening sitting and the occasional weekend. I’d also do other one off things (stamp and seal Christmas cards, copy edit documents for the dad) that were all arranged around my schedule and paid at my childcare rate or higher.
The nice thing was that I had a lot of classes that were offered only once a week so every semester there would be week day I couldn’t cover. (Small/weird program.) The mom was amazing about getting the kid d into dance or something those days and arranging to work late other days (so I would stay late Tuesdays and wouldn’t come in Thursdays or whatever).
SC says
I also was an after school sitter while in college. I arrived at their house shortly before the bus arrived and stayed 3-4 hours. I gave them snacks, helped with homework, did reading time with each, enforced screen time limits, and helped the kids do chores (like, if they were supposed to vacuum the stairs, I’d help set up the vacuum and make sure everyone was being safe). I encouraged them to play outside with the neighborhood kids or invite friends over (the mom’s preference), and if they were doing that, I’d do some light cleaning while supervising the play from a distance. If they didn’t have friends to play with on a particular day, I’d play or go on a bike ride with them. I usually started something very basic for dinner, and occasionally fed them dinner if the parents were running late or if they had rec league sports practice or something in the evening.
I didn’t drive the kids anywhere, except one time when we couldn’t get into the house and I couldn’t get in touch with either parent. (I had a code to the garage, and the door to the house from the garage was left unlocked, so I didn’t have a house key. But that day, the power source to the garage door key pad failed.) I drove the kids 5 miles to the public library across from my college, where the mom worked, and had them do their homework until she picked them up. Oh, and I bought them snacks at the convenience store. She wasn’t thrilled that I had driven them somewhere, or that they had less than healthy snacks that day, but it seemed like a better option than sitting outside in the cold with no water or snacks.
So Anon says
I have had all kinds of different arrangements. My favorite is the afterschool sitter. I hired a high school senior in her last semester to pick the kids up from school 2-3 days per week, bring them home, get them a snack, and play/supervise homework. After my ex and I split, I asked her to stay later, so to 7:00 two nights. It gave me the opportunity to work late, exercise after work or run an errand before coming home to the kids. She has been with me for over two years and is now a sophomore in college. In the before, I worked from home 2 days per week and my mom did pick-up every Friday, so I had a plan for every day.
Regarding whether to hire high school or college, a large part of it for me was driving. I wouldn’t hire a brand new driver to drive my kids. The sitter that I hired was driving on local roads with speed limits less than 40mph. I also asked questions about driving and scenarios with kids in the car (e.g. what would you do with a two-kid fighting meltdown in the back of the car)?
She does not do any housework other than pick-up after the kids as they eat and play. When she was here until 7pm, she made dinner and cleaned up after. At this point, I have asked her to stop by the grocery store to pick up something on her way over.
Anonymous says
I know all of this is going to sound super privileged, but the covid times have taught me to get as much high quality child care as we can afford. We spent a lot of time thinking about this and talking with other moms, and I’m just going to share my (possibly over the top bougie) thoughts. Covid taught us we can get by with a lot less child care. However, that has come at a high personal cost. As covid starts to abate (hopefully) I am fully planing on availing myself to every service I can afford!
We have 2 starting elementary school
In the fall. For our main source of care we trying to decide between college age sitters or a professional nanny/ house manager. The school’s afterschool program goes until 6, and that just isn’t quite enough most of the time, esp if one or both of us starts traveling again.
We ruled out high school sitters, because even if one of us is working from home we need to be working. Not halfway working and halfway watching the kids. That can work, but we decided if we can pay for care, why do that to ourselves?
We have talked with a nanny agency and priced out our options. For where we are (MCOL, SEUS not what I would call a city but what passes for one here) the price of a 25- 30 hour a week nanny is basically what we were paying for 2 kids in daycare. So it’s highly doable, esp since we weren’t assuming our childcare costs would go down significantly when the kids went to elementary.
If I recall you are a big firm attorney in a Boston suburb? Which means you are making good money but have a high cost of living? I would encourage you to think big and price out the highest level of care you can. We figure if we overdo it year one, we can tone it down as the kids get older. Our metrics are different with 2 kids. But I would encourage you to take care of yourself, maximize getting what you need and can afford, not getting the minimum level of care because we have all sort of made it work during covid.
CHL says
+1
Anonymous says
Currently have: afterschool program at school twice weekly and grandparents pick up 3 times. For younger kids, school is a lot so being able to relax afterschool at home/grandparents house is nice if it is an option.
Grew up with: mom working part-time and high school sitter after school on days mom worked. Sitter met us at the bus, gave snack, supervised homework, outside play, played with us inside. A few chores but mostly in the vein of supervising us doing ours (unpacking lunch bag, hanging up coats, making beds). My parents were not home but sitter’s mom lived across the street in case there were issues.
Redux says
Did your kid go to daycare before? We had our kindergartener ride the bus to her old daycare and she loved it. Daycares (in NY, where I am) can add a few school age kids to the mix without impacting their minimum ratios.
Sarabeth says
We have an after school sitter who does housework, and it’s magical. But the key is that we actually hire her for extra hours so that there’s time to get the housework done. We pay her for 20 hrs/week, and she watches the kids for about 2.5 hours a day. So she has about 90 minutes to do stuff around the house before she picks them up. It’s a huge luxury, but worth every penny.
We have always hired people who are done with high school, at least. Current sitter is mid-20s.
H13 says
We had a neighborhood HS student get my so off the bus pre-COVID. She doesn’t drive so she would just come into the house, meet him out front, give him a snack, and play for a while. It was usually about two hours a few times a week. My son LOVED it and she only charged $8 an hour. There were no expectations of housework (see price).
In college I did afterschool pick up and sitting (and summer nannying). After school was snack, start on homework, play etc. and I would usually unload the dishwasher, maybe fold a load of laundry, and on rare occasions start dinner. I never did any errands for the family. Side note: I am still in touch with them to this day and the oldest just had a baby!
Pogo says
I stopped keeping up with the family I nannyed for when the oldest went to prom. Made me feel SO old. I did not do any chores other than get the kids dinner and possibly clean up? I don’t really remember.
Anonymous says
Late here- we are in different Boston burbs if I remember but our afterschool is A+. My daughter doesn’t use it, but her friends do and she begs to go. They are not directly affiliated with the public school and they are great- open on vacation weeks, prof dev days, and the random half days we always have.
My elem schooler is my oldest. We have my mom watch my younger two on mondays, oldest gets off the bus and has an activity 4-5 that I drive her to but she goes in and does alone. The younger two go to PT preschool TWTh (in Normal Times it goes til 3; now it’s til 1). I pick them up T and Th and work half days. My mom picks them up on Weds and keeps them til 6. We have a nanny on Fridays 9-4. She works for our neighbors M-Th.
FTMinFL says
What are your kids’ favorite weekday breakfasts? My three-year-old has decided she doesn’t like… anything in the mornings and, in her defense, I haven’t changed my basic rotation of toast, eggs and fruit in ages. TIA!
Cb says
Overnight oats, cereal, homemade muffins.
I’d do yoghurt but somehow I’ve convinced my toddler that yoghurt is a dessert.
AwayEmily says
if having dessert for breakfast is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Jeffiner says
Frozen waffles, muffins, or cereal.
Anonymous says
Baked oatmeal- tons of recipes online. She switches between apple or pumpkin. I actually used to love it too, but watching her eat it EVERY SINGLE morning kind of made me lose my taste for it. The younger one eats cheerios or rice krispies, and some morning my husband makes them scrambled eggs with flour tortillas to make little tiny breakfast burritos.
Anon says
Pancakes (kodiak mix), open face peanut butter sandwich (literally peanut butter on bread, no toasting permitted), yogurt, microwave bacon, french toast.
Realist says
Almond butter and jelly on a cracker. Banana and egg pancakes. Avocado. Leftovers of anything. Nuts/seeds. Full fat coconut milk mixed with various things (chia seeds, fruit) to make a sort of pudding. Yogurt. Baked sweet potato.
Bean74 says
Basically a preschool version of a charcuterie board – ham, cheese, some sort of fruit – with a smoothie.
octagon says
Our standard offerings are freezer waffles, yogurt, toast w/peanut butter, oatmeal, or cereal. Kiddo went through a long phase where his favorite breakfast was a mix of 3 different kinds of cereal – Kix, Cheerios, and Rice Krispies all in the same bowl. Usually I would bury his gummy vitamin at the bottom for him to find as well.
Spirograph says
Mine often are ravenous at breakfast and eat some combination of the following:
Instant oatmeal
Yogurt (sometimes frozen berries and wheat germ on top)
Toast
Mini bagel with cream cheese
Toast (esp cinnamon raisin bread toast)
Hard boiled egg
Egg sandwich if I’ll make it, which is only if they’re all up early and being pleasant.
Cereal
Banana with sun/peanut butter
Katala says
My kids want oatmeal every single day. Sometimes we do frozen waffles instead and weekends we often do some form of eggs. For the oatmeal, we mix in butter, one kid likes milk in his bowl, and each gets a sprinkle of protein powder and a drizzle of syrup. It’s so easy we’re not too interested in changing it up, since they complain when we suggest it.
Anon says
Sometimes a banana in the car on the way to school, usually nothing. They serve “morning snack” at 9ish and she doesn’t usually wake up until 7:30-8 so so far we’ve been able to get away with not doing a separate meal at home. My perspective might be skewed because my kid is fairly high BMI for her age, but if she says she doesn’t want anything, I would just serve her nothing instead of trying to find a food she can be coaxed into eating.
Anon says
It’s way too early to get my hopes up or even tell my husband, but I think I might be pregnant. Had some spotting this morning which has only ever happened when I had implantation bleeding with #1.
Feeling lots of things and surprisingly excited. We were talking about trying for #2 soon (we weren’t actively preventing), and I was not looking forward to it. Now that it’s maybe a reality I’m actually excited. Guess I’ll see in two weeks or so!
Anon says
Fingers crossed for you!
Anon says
Best of luck!
Anonymous says
I picked up the first (I think) Mercy Watson book to read to my preschoolers at the suggestion of a commenter here. They LOVE it (argue over who gets to hold it at bedtime, they are now alternating nights), and now every morning request “toast with a great deal of butter” for breakfast. Thanks for the recommendation!
SBJ says
Ooh, that might’ve been me! I’m delighted your kids like them, too! And yes, toast with a great deal of butter is now the favorite food here. We’ve gone through so much bread in the past month. Mine have taken to asking for hot buttered toast with a great deal of butter and it cracks me up.
Beyond the six Mercy Watson books, there are a few more that focus on the side character from them that are also great!
withtatertot says
Low stakes springtime conundrum – how does the sizing of kids Keen sandals run? DS is a 9.5/10 in toddler sizes right now, and I’m thinking of getting size 11 to be sure they’ll fit all summer. The last time I sized up prospectively she ended up with a pair of rainbow sneakers she LOVED but would not stay on her feet, so I want to avoid that. Also, deciding between a pair of Keens in good used condition, or spending another $15 to get them new on sale, since they’ll hopefully get handed down to little sister. But my sense is that Keens hold up well, so maybe I should just save the money? All advice welcome, and happy weekend!
Anonymous says
Your time is worth more than this! I’d buy whatever is going to be easiest in a size that fits now.
Huh? says
I don’t understand this comment. Her time worth more than trying to buy the right size of sandals?
Anonymous says
We’ve often bought Keens a size up, and they stay on fine. They’re more adjustable than a lot of sandals. And more substantial, which helps.
Anonymous says
Buy a 10 and an 11 on sale. You’ll likely use the 11s next year if they are too big this year. I buy in the same color so there is more compliance when moving up a size. I find Keens run very slightly big so an 11 on a 9.5 foot is just going to result in tripping. I tend to buy Keens new, generally on sale, and sell used. Your price per wear is literally pennies because they’ll probably be worn everyday all summer.
anon says
IMO, they run big. I’d get the 10.
Anonymous says
I’d buy the 10. I also think they run a tiny bit large. And my DD is wearing size 11 and I think her foot growth has definitely slowed down (she’s 4) versus toddlerhood. But I also buy (looks like new) used Keens so I just buy 2 pairs each summer for about $15 each.
Perspective says
Thanks for all the responses yesterday about the daycare teacher raising her voice at kids. I so appreciate the perspective.
We’re brand new to this daycare so I’m having a hard time deciding whether I should talk to someone or just watch to see if it happens again. It’s tricky because I’m not sure she would act that way if she knew anyone was watching.
Anonymous says
Is your goal to catch her or for it to stop? Call the director today and express concern.
Perspective says
I don’t really have a goal other than I don’t want anyone yelling at my child (or anyone else’s). It’s not about catching anyone.
Anonymous says
If she yelled at this kid, what makes you think she wouldn’t yell at your kid when he is calling for you. You need to tell the director.
Anonymous says
Then you need to talk to the director. Doing nothing will get you nowhere.
OP says
Okay okay. You’re right. I called.
Anon says
I know an excellent director who would welcome hearing this kind of information as an FYI/data point. No need for you to come to a conclusion as to what it means or what to do about it—that’s the director’s job. She probably wouldn’t be able to let you know what happens, but it’d be helpful for improving the program.
The children can’t effectively complain, so it’s really up to the adults to speak up.
Perspective says
Thanks, you’re right and that is what I will do.
Anon says
Has anyone “enrolled” their toddler in Early Intervention in Covid-times? Is it in-person or virtual and are you having success with it? My 18 month old only has three words, one of which is an approximation of “moo.” We are already repeating the names of things, reading and talking to him seemingly constantly, but he just isn’t gaining words. I’m sure mask wearing at daycare isn’t helping (words are muffled and he can’t see mouths), but understand that it is what it is. At his last appointment his pedi suggested waiting three months to see if he starts speaking more before going the Early Intervention route because here, it’s all virtual and she doesn’t think it will be helpful to him via iPad, but I’m nervous about him falling even more behind by waiting.
anon says
If Early Intervention is virtual, I would absolutely not do it. Research speech therapy yourself/follow some folks on Instagram, or see if you can get a private evaluation done in person, even if you have to pay for it. No no no to “therapy” via iPad, such a disaster.
Anon says
Yes! Our first assessment (in person) was (thankfully!) the day before the world shut down (literally, schools closed that day and county offices shut the following day, we were the last ones in person and it took them a couple of months to restart doing assessments again). If your kid were older, I would frankly start the process now, because the assessment and approval process can take a month or two before you even start getting services, and I think it just takes longer to get assessments with the virtual and spaced out environment (although they are now doing some limited in person assessments here). However, our ped suggested waiting until at least 2 for speech delay, and then we ultimately got referred for services at 2.5. In some ways, being older means your kid is “more behind” and more likely to qualify for services (you have to have a substantial delay to qualify, and the range of normal is so broad at 18 months I think that’s why a lot of peds push for waiting until 2). And a lot of kids do really have that speech explosion between 18 months and 2 (mine did not).
As for services (all virtual), it has been a mixed bag. We did 6 months with the county toddler program, which was mostly focused on coaching the parents to interact with the kid while on video and then modeling strategies that you then use to practice on your own time. The first couple of sessions were really helpful in changing the way I thought I was modeling (in a non-productive way) to a recommended approach, but after that they grew very repetitive and my child (a perfectionist and very stubborn and very tired of listening to her mother all day every day) was not very responsive to them. Her expressive language increased, but my guess is that she was just ready more than any of the therapy she really wouldn’t engage with (although it certainly didn’t hurt!). When we aged out of the county program, we qualified for services through the public school preschool program. That has also been virtual, but is more focused on direct interaction between the teacher and my kid and, frankly, I think much more successful for my particular kid. I am still there to supervise, keep her from getting too unfocused, etc., and her teacher gives us flashcards or games to play to help reinforce, but my child is making a lot more progress interacting with the teacher directly. We actual chose to stay virtual when given the option last month because being able to see her teacher make speech sounds on video (and her teacher able to see her clearly) is far more effective than trying to do that behind a mask (even if clear).
Anonymous says
I would do it. My BFF is a speech language pathologist. They have been virtual for a year and she says it has worked much better than she expected. It’s not an hour on the ipad. It’s often them engaging the kid for a few minutes to see where they are, then discussing with parents while kid plays, then re-engaging with kid to observe parents try techniques with kid etc. For the kids under 3, it’s really about teaching the parents how to work with the kids, not as much about teaching the kids. The hour or two of speech a week isn’t going to make a difference, it’s the skills the parents learn that matter. At least in our area, the speech language pathologists are also trained to screen for autism and their recommendations tend to be taken quite seriously by the development peds so that’s another benefit.
On a personal note, we had to dial the level of speech we said to kid way back in order to encourage her to talk. We’re a bilingual family and she understood (receptive language), like multiple levels higher than she spoke in both languages. So to her, speaking was really intimidating because it meant putting like nine words together. It’s a really strange experience to go back to talking to your kid in very simple short sentences when you know she understands a lot more but it was necessary. Once we started matching our expressive speech closer to her receptive speech (using lots of three word sentence), and also giving her enough time to respond – like count to ten slowly every single time after we asked a question, then we saw a big change. Most parents expect an answer to a question like ‘blue cup or red cup?’ to happen much more quickly than kids can answer.
Anon says
My 11 month old is deaf in one ear and is in early intervention (well, sort of, I’ll get to that). Like the other commenters said, Early Intervention spends a lot of time on coaching parents, with the idea that you’re with your kid more than the hour or so every week/month that they’ll get speech lessons. We ended up switching from city-based EI to a SLP with our insurance because it was cheaper and I didn’t like the SLP contractor from EI. All of the sessions have been virtual. Virtual programs are . . . not great . . . but if you’re thinking about it being more parental coaching, it’s OK.
That said, I am very happy with the Speech Sisters course and Instagram account. They are SLPs, and use a lot of the same techniques you’ll get from EI. So, especially at 18 months, I would buy the course, do those activities, and then reassess in 4-8 weeks about doing the EI/private SLP route.
Sarabeth says
Yes. Virtual services are terrible if they are trying to actually do therapy with your kid over zoom. But our SLP and OT both switched to a parent-coaching model for awhile, which was pretty helpful (different, but helpful). Now they are back to in-person services, because all the providers have had the chance to get vaccinated.
anonn says
Our 3 month old is currently getting physical therapy through an early intervention program, all the onboarding and interviews with me were virtual and the PT is going to his daycare, my understanding is that the other therapists (speech/OT) are doing in-person as well now if both parties are comfortable. Hopefully other places will be in-person soon as well. Also, my DD only said like Da and Ba until she was 2 and then seemingly overnight was speaking in full sentences, no impediments whatsoever. I thought that wasn’t uncommon, if that eases you a bit about waiting.
Mommadom says
My suggestion is to give it a try; at the very least, it will be helpful for you as a parent. My son was already in Early Intervention pre-Covid for delayed speech, but he turned two last year right when everything shut down, and we were supposed to transition from working with an early childhood “generalist” to a speech pathologist. We have actually only met our speech pathologist in person once in the past year, but we have done almost-weekly virtual visits. As some of the other posters mentioned, the virtual visits are, in large part, most helpful for my husband and me by teaching us how to help and encourage our son. However, he pays better attention than I would have expected (most of the time) and our speech pathologist has done a great job of making things interactive. During last summer, we had the financial means, so we supplemented with private speech therapy for about six months so that our son could get some in-person intervention. That was about $60/half hour once a week, and was well worth the peace of mind that I felt from having someone see him IRL. After about six months (less, actually), we decided that he was making good progress and we didn’t need to continue with private speech (although they said we can restart or have him re-evaluated anytime). My son just turned three and is pretty much at level; we have had great success with speech intervention and wanted to keep his momentum going, so we asked them to let us keep working with our speech path through the end of the school year. After that, he probably won’t qualify for services anymore. Overall, I highly recommend. I don’t think anyone ever looks back and says that they intervened too early.
Pogo says
Does anyone have a hack for getting their preschooler into the car? Mine darts off to play as soon as we open the door and insists his dump truck just needs ONE MORE LOAD mommy in the sandbox. Or he’s a baby penguin who has to waddle to the car ever so slowly. We play into it, but sometimes he just goes off script and runs away from us, giggling as we chase him around the yard. He’s pretty strong and it’s tough to physically get him in without his full cooperation, so just picking him up isn’t always an option.
For pickup my hack is: I have a snack for you in the car! works every time. lol.
AwayEmily says
I do the same thing at pickup — I keep a bag of gummy bears in the glove compartment.
In the morning usually I just build some extra time in for dawdling. The most they ever do it is five-ish minutes, especially if I’m not engaging at all with them, so it’s not worth it to me to force the issue.
Anonymous says
variations of 1. consequences (if/then – if you don’t get in the car right now, then you won’t have enough time
for ipad when you get home ( i allow 20 mins on the ipad as I change/unpack after pick up), 2. pretending to leave, ‘okay, bye, you can walk to preschool then’ as I get in car, 3. holding hands from front door to car.
Anon says
I play a short video for my daughter on my phone as I get her in. It doesn’t always work. Can be a music video to a song or a video for sister’s softball at-bat. Maybe not the greatest to get her obsessed with my phone but I’m desperate!
Anonymous says
We use/used timers, but we walked to day care. So there was always something ahead to direct her to and no car seat.
Honestly, how does anyone have toddlers with car culture / in the suburbs? I didn’t grow up in a walkable city, but I also didn’t have a car seat. Walk to the grocery store? Toddler is thrilled! The one out if ten times she wasn’t, cool toys in the stroller. Put her in a car seat? Hysterical meltdown. Almost makes Brooklyn rent worth it…
Dlc says
With my 4 year old, sometimes I just tell him that I’m going to wait for him in the car and then I open the door for him and get into my seat and wait. (Plus I have to get the baby in the car first) It’s not a great strategy if I’m in a hurry, though so I try to allow time.
Pogo says
Thanks guys. I think the real answer is building more time in. We have success for the timer for other transitions, so maybe I’m just being unrealistic that this transition can work without one and you can’t expect a 3yo to walk right past his sandbox and not stop to “just check one thing” (lol. always). So I could build in 2 or 5 minutes and use a timer.
There was a short time where “which song do you want to listen to” was an effective hack, but that time is over.
Anonymous says
Has anyone gone part time in big law after maternity leave? Any thoughts or experiences?
Anon says
I haven’t, but the general consensus at my firm seems to be that you are paid less but still expected to be 100% available. You may be able to protect your hours such that you end up billing less, but the utility of those saved hours depends a lot on how your life works and whether you can make use of them with the last-minute crises that are the deal in biglaw. I worked with a senior-ish person (not partner) who just said I am not working or responding to emails from the time nanny leaves to after kid goes to bed. Seems totally reasonable and fair for the tradeoff of 60% pay or whatever it was. But people were NOT happy with it and I’m sure it was very stressful for her. Plus clients don’t care what your deal with the firm is, they think they are paying for 24/7 availability. I think it’s very much a know your firm, practice group and partners situation. I do know someone it works well for, she essentially is willing to work biglaw hours but will take more vacation time and tries to protect that. Seems to work better than set “off” hours every day or week. Interesting that I have zero examples of a man being part time. Honestly I think men who want to just work less without saying anything and accept the consequences to their comp and/or promotion opportunities.
anon says
Yeah, one of my mentors did it and told me bluntly, after my first, that it had stunted her career and so I needed to be very sure of what I wanted before I decided to do it. FWIW she initially went down to something like 70% pay with the understanding that she would work mon-thu and generally take friday off, and usually be unavailable between 6 and 8 in the evening. She quickly found she was billing at more like an 80% level and had to renegotiate her deal. She’s been at 80% since and now works more in the evenings since her kids are older. She says she does not regret the time she got with her kids, but does regret the consequences. Therein lies the problem. I stayed full-time.
anon says
I did after my third baby – to 80%. It works because my husband is a SAHD – so he’s always available for childcare, and if I happen to have a slow week, I can enjoy it and make the most of it rather than chasing down more hours. I don’t think it would be “worth it” if I was paying for three kids in childcare, because I’d still need more-than-full-time childcare to cover the busy weeks.
Midlaw Anecdata says
I went part-time in mid-law after my maternity leave. I basically asked for a contract position but they titled me “of counsel.” I had seen how the 80% positions worked out for other women, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to be paid for every hour that I worked, with a goal of billing no more than 30 hours a week. I was willing to bill more (50-60 hours) during the one month that we were always busy and I built childcare plans around that. I was in a unicorn position of having an in-demand skillset that no one else had at my firm (the partner that trained me on it retired), plus a team that loved me and was willing to protect my hours, plus a client base and practice area that didn’t usually expect 24/7 availability. I know at least 2 other women asked for a deal similar to what I got and were denied, I believe because they were in practice areas where they could have been easily replaced and the clients were more demanding. I was not eligible for benefits after switching to what I wanted, but that was not a problem for us. I somehow ended up getting bigger bonuses than I would have been eligible for as an associate, and I think part of that was to make up for the benefits that I lost. (My firm was very opaque and secretive about how bonuses were decided, it was much less formulaic than I have seen at other firms.)
This is very much a know your firm, know your team, know your value situation. And definitely look at how situations work out for other people. My firm was very good at allowing an 80% schedule for moms, but more often than not it worked out pretty terribly with the hours not being protected (but no extra comp), the team not being supportive, the client demands not working out with the schedule, etc.
Anonymous says
Is it not common to be paid more if you work more, even if you’re part time? My Big Law firm was not especially women or mom friendly and I do know a lot of women who went part-time and ended up working close to full-time, but at least if you exceeded your part-time billable hours goal, you got more comp. I thought that was standard.
Midlaw Anecdata says
At my firm, it took them awhile to adjust comp if you worked more over your 80% schedule (it didn’t happen automatically if you worked 82% one week or whatever). Plus, there was definitely a focus only on billed hours. If a mentoring role or admin work or whatever ended up eating into your time, that didn’t count. The women I knew didn’t like their 80% roles, felt that they often were in the office more than they wanted, felt the complete drop was more than the hours drop, and ended up leaving.
Anon says
Today my 3 year old refused to nap so I went in her room with a stack of books and told her if she wasn’t going to sleep she needed to stay in her bed and read quietly and she’s been in there for over an hour reading to herself without a peep. It’s bliss! Is this what having an older kid is like!?!
Cb says
We do daily quiet time, and yes, it is amazing,
Anon says
We’ve always made her attempt to nap and usually made her stay in there for an hour unless she was screaming, but I somehow didn’t realize we could have an hour of attempted napping and then another hour+ of reading alone.
Anon says
Last week my 3.5 year old put herself to bed for the first (hopefully not only) time in her life. As in we were downstairs after an early bath and jammies and she said “Ma, let’s play tomorrow, I sleepy” and took herself upstairs alone and tucked herself in bed. I about fell over. Right now she is happily videochatting with my mother while cooking for her in the play kitchen with zero parental involvement (she even knows how to change the chat filters herself, ha!). There have been a couple of similar moments where I feel like we’re maybe finally turning the corner into “big kid” (as we are still trying for no. 2 which will involve starting over again, but at least it will only be one; looking back I think 2 under 2 would have destroyed us so maybe secondary infertility is really a blessing in disguise?).
GCA says
That’s fantastic! Well – not all preschoolers are like this. When my oldest stopped napping there was literally nothing quiet about quiet time, and no break for the adults without a screen (he is a high-energy extrovert who thrives on interaction). So we just leaned in to it: on weekends we went out for lunch without fear of meltdown, we went to museums and playspaces that were relatively quiet because it was naptime for the 1-4yo set, and generally tuckered him out enough for a 7.30 or 8pm bedtime. But kid 2 does this – she’ll putter around on her own and entertain herself. I didn’t even think this was possible till I had her. Anyway, hopefully that’s comforting for those of us whose kids are like my oldest. It’s not your parenting; it’s just the way they are wired!
Anon says
I wasn’t trying to take “credit” or claim my parenting is better than anyone else’s. My kid is also a high energy extrovert who has literally never played alone in her entire life, so this gave me hope that even extroverted kids can develop more ability to entertain themselves as they get older. Or maybe it was just a one-off thing and she’ll be back to normal tomorrow. Who knows.