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Here’s a departure from our regular maternity workwear. I sincerely hope that for anyone reading this who is pregnant, you are able to manage the anxiety and uncertainty that is swirling around in the news and in our everyday lives. For me personally, I was an extremely anxious pregnant person, and I am certain that I had postpartum anxiety. While I was pregnant, the Zika virus was in the news all the time, and I couldn’t look away, to the detriment of my mental health.
For those of you who are pregnant, and those of you who are caring for children at home, I hope that our somewhat regular programming gives you a chance to connect with other women who are doing exactly the same thing. For me, that’s working, window shopping online, somehow trying to keep a 3-year-old occupied and mentally stimulated and then giving up and letting him watch TV, and watching Tiger King on Netflix in bed after I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally spent from the day.
I chose to depart from maternity workwear for this post because I am hopeful that if you’re pregnant and reading this, your workplace has allowed you to work from home and you’re healthy and as physically comfortable as you can be. That includes wearing a soft sweatshirt like this one from A Pea in the Pod, with matching pants. The sweatshirt is is $58 and is available in sizes XS–L. Spacedye Hacci Maternity Top
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonanonanon says
Hi, April,
I appreciate your acknowledgment of the current situation in your post. At the risk of being tone-deaf, I would love to take my mind off of everything with a discussion of what people are wearing to work from home. Are you in full-on multiple days of the same sweats that you also slept in mode? (no judgement). Are you one of those folks that finds changing into actual clothes helps you focus? If so, have you stuck with it? What about hair and makeup? If you’re doing it, does it make you feel better? If you’re not, are you happy for the break or is it making you feel down in the dumps?
I have a response-associated role and an old man on a conference call recently said “well, by the end of this we’ll know everyone’s real hair color!” and it cracked me up for some reason.
Anyway, the days I don’t have to go in I am usually in one article of clothing or another for a couple of days in a row. I somehow got my pajama tops and bottoms out of sync laundry-wise so they aren’t even matching anymore. I don’t really own loungewear, just formal workwear, skinny jeans for the weekend (which, no thank you), pajamas, and actual workout clothes (I don’t find workout leggings to be comfortable?). I checked out the athleta website to see if anything struck my fancy but all of the comfy pants I liked were pretty picked over. It’s been a couple of weeks since makeup touched my face and I want to care enough to fix that but it seems wasteful? Like I should save it for when I really need it?
Anon says
I sleep in just underwear and am wearing more clothes than that to WFH haha. But yeah mostly just a t-shirt and sweatpants most of the time, changing the shirt daily and the pants every couple of days. I don’t have many video calls but for those I put on a bra, nicer t-shirt and one of my “nicer” (not that nice) open front sweaters. I don’t wear make-up normally, but I haven’t tweezed my eyebrows since lockdown began 17 days ago and they. are. terrifying. I’m thinking about having them waxed when this is over. Is it crazy painful? I had a STRONG epidural when I gave birth and have a very low pain tolerance.
Anonymous says
I usually WFH, though I do leave the house every day to take the kids to their schools/activities. :) I shower every day, but am using this opportunity to try and train my hair not to need washing every day- i’m on an every other day cycle. I get dressed and presentable especially since we go on walks several times a day. I am NOT wearing anything other than leggings/yoga pants and a shirt, however!
avocado says
During Week 1, I wore athleisure on days without videoconferences on the theory that it would facilitate post-work yoga. That theory was flawed.
During Week 2, I had videoconferences most days and wore jeans with a plain t-shirt and blazer and makeup. I felt more functional and was actually more motivated to do stuff after work.
This is Week 3, Day 1. New plan is jeans or shorts, t-shirt, and mascara, full makeup and blazer if videoconferencing with clients or external stakeholders.
I was supposed to have a haircut this past weekend, so my pixie is already starting to look shaggy and show gray roots. I bought a box of haircolor at the grocery store to deal with the roots, but the cut is going to get scary pretty quickly. I don’t think a baseball cap will cut it on Zoom. Toying with the idea of watching GI Jane for inspiration and then buzzing it all off.
June says
I’ve been following FlyLady for a little while to help organize my house and followed her recommendation to get dressed to shoes and do your hair and makeup every morning. Before the coronavirus hit, I worked from home 2 days a week but even on those days I got in the habit of getting dressed (usually something like jeans/leggings and sweatshirt/tee+cardigan) and doing my hair and makeup every morning, even if I was working from home. I have to say it did help my productivity/depression/anxiety. When your dressed to shoes you’re ready to work rather than lounge around. So yes, while working from home everyday now I put on a decent casual outfit I can wear in public and fix my hair and face.
GCA says
I work remotely 100% of the time and WFH most of the time under normal circumstances, and my uniform is nice-ish sweater and jeans. I’m sticking to this uniform for AM work shifts and then changing into a sweatshirt for parenting shifts (small children have grubby paws), so nothing has really changed. I don’t find workout gear to be live-in comfortable either, maybe I’m buying the wrong running tights?! For Zoom, a little tinted lip balm helps me look slightly more alive, and I can throw on a blazer for external client calls. (Although, now that *everyone* is working from home, it’s pretty amusing to see previously starchy clients and colleagues in their sweatshirts with a cat or toddler on their lap.)
Anon says
I wear yoga pants and long sleeve t-shirts, likely unmatching (today unintentional navy with black). When I run out of yoga pants, I have a few pairs of postpartum jeans that are super stretchy and big enough I can almost pull them down without unbuttoning, typically paired with a casual top. I still shower every morning, but it’s only comfy machine washable clothes. I have not yet had to videoconference for work, but if I did I might let my hair dry down and put on basic makeup (i.e., what I do for personal videochats with friends).
Anonymous says
Leggings and a shirt.
anon says
For those of you who exclusively pump, what made you decide to do that? Was it baby driven or did you make the decision (or have no choice)? And, how long were you able to keep it up?
Anon says
Baby-driven, neither twin would latch. Kept it up for 11.5 months until I got sick and my supply tanked, but if I were in that situation again I wouldn’t stress about doing it that long.
anon says
Also a twin mom. I did it because I couldn’t tandem nurse at all and the babies just weren’t getting full enough when they had to take turns, so everyone was hungry all the time. I rented a hospital grade pump, but needed the extra power to keep supply up for 2 babies. It was a pain in many ways during my maternity leave, but was definitely helpful when I returned to work after 4 months because I was already a pro at pumping and they were very used to taking a bottle. I felt like the first 3 months were the hardest–I had a lot of blocked ducts, etc., but I made it through that time and it was much smoother physically from that point. I started to taper at 6 months, because the pumping was extending my work day too much, and ended up cutting it off at around 9 months when the babies were too mobile for me to be latched to the pump when they woke up in the morning.
Anonymous says
I exclusively pumped from 2 months to 6 months because baby wouldn’t latch. At 6 months I stopped pumping because of work demands and a drop in supply, but weirdly baby figured out how to latch at that point and so we have been nursing at night/morning plus formula during the day since then.
Anon says
Wow! Who would have thought.
Anonymous says
My first kid had jaundice and was too tired to be a good dedicated nurser. Eventually kiddo got the hang of it and it was so much more time-efficient that way.
EP-er says
I had two NICU babies, one with significant gastro issues. By the time he was well enough to come home, I couldn’t get nursing to work. Similar with number two, although she wasn’t in the hospital nearly as long. I made it pumping 11 months/12 months of BM from the stash.
Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so adamant about EPing. I wish someone had told me that combo feeding or straight up formula would be okay. (It was all “breast is best!” not “presence of breast milk is more important than absence of formula”) I was so focused on my failures & having two preemies that I thought EPing was the least I could do for them. And I was so sleep deprived keeping up with it and probably has some PPD going on… This is something that I realize now, with the benefit of time & hindsight.
Anon says
baby driven. i had twins and really wanted to BF. A friend of ours had twins 2 months before us and she was able to EBF no problem so I thought I would too. Well, I had a traumatic delivery, 1 baby in the NICU and never made enough milk. At first I was triple feeding (something I would not recommend), and then switched to EPing, but also gave some formula because I never made enough milk. I stupidly joined a facebook group for EP moms and became obsessed with the amount of milk I was making. At one point 6/7 bottles the twins got were breastmilk, but that tapered to about half breastmilk, half formula when I went back to work. I stopped around 6 months. A pediatrician friend finally convinced me by showing me that all of the ‘breast is best’ research shows real differences for premies in the first few months, but after that, the conclusions are a bit murkier. I had PPD/PPA and feel like I missed out on a lot of time with my twins by EPing and was much happier once I stopped. It might have been better if I’d gotten the Willow or one of the portable pumps,
Anon Lawyer says
I was EPing for six weeks until my baby figured out how to latch and I think I joined that same Facebook group. It kind of stressed me out and in retrospect I’m like, wait, having a huge surplus of milk that your baby will never drink is not that useful. (Though of course it’s awesome some women can donate it.)
Anon says
I had a NICU baby so EP was the only option for a while. Once baby was big enough to start feeding from bottles instead of a feeding tube, she would regularly Brady (heartrate drop) and/or forget to breathe. I was so scarred by that experience that I was too scared to BF since I wouldn’t be able to see her face/see if she was getting blue-ish that I never attempted to BF. We also had to “fortify” BM bottles with extra formula for extra calories and it was easier to do that with every feeding rather than guessing the amount she ate while BFing and adjusting one or two bottles. I also had a terrible supply so ended up giving it up. I definitely had undiagnosed PPD/PPA so that probably led to poor supply as did stress/not sleeping to wake up to pump every 3 hours. I probably would have done better supply-wise cutting out a few sessions and getting rest instead. The whole experience was so traumatic that I probably will just opt out from BF/pumping entirely next time. I will say every NICU doctor/nurse and my OB were all very much “it’s the presence of BM not the absence of formula that yields benefits” so maybe I will consider combo feeding next time.
Anon says
A little bit of both. I first began pumping in the hospital because the baby couldn’t latch with how engorged I was and then also my my baby had jaundice and needed food ASAP. We continued to work on our latch but it was always painful and I got into the swing of pumping and enjoyed the freedom/ control it gave me. Eventually, I stopped even trying to get baby to latch and now she won’t even try if I offer (6 months old). Knowing how much food she was getting really helped me with sleep training and having my husband take a shift helped my sanity.
Govtattymom says
I could not get baby to latch, so I exclusively pumped for eight months. In the beginning, I kept working at transitioning to breastfeeding, but she never got enough that way and the whole nurse then pump then feed baby pumped bottle routine was exhausting. I also kept getting mastitis when I tried to switch over from pumping to nursing because she wasn’t nursing well. I didn’t think exclusively pumping was too much worse than nursing some of the time since I had a short maternity leave and was at work a lot anyway.
NYCer says
I did not like breastfeeding (at all, to be honest), but didn’t mind pumping. I liked that my husband (or mom or baby nurse) could give the baby a bottle, so that I wasn’t the only person responsible for feeding. I also liked knowing exactly how much my baby was getting at each feeding. At the beginning, I had to pump every 3-4 hours, but at the end, I got down to 3 pumping sessions per day. I stopped pumping in the middle of the night fairly early on. Caveat that I had a TON of milk, so I was never struggling to keep up with what baby was eating.
I pumped for about 4 months, but had enough frozen milk to last us through 6 months. After 6 months, we switched to formula entirely.
Anonymous says
I hated nursing and wish I had done it this way.
June says
I did bouts of exclusive pumping. It was baby driven/no other choice. My baby was a preemie, so we started EPing and trying to nurse in the hospital a little. When we got sent home, we had to do triple feeds (try to nurse, offer bottle to top off, pump after nursing). After a while it seemed baby could nurse okay, but baby wasn’t gaining well so I switched to EPing (and supplementing, which I was doing all along anyway) so I could track all intake everyday.
Sometimes I liked that pumping gave me the freedom the pump on my schedule and know exactly how much baby was getting, but I also liked the bonding and ease of just breastfeeding. But anyway, if you need to EP for a while for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean the baby won’t nurse later. My baby was 6 weeks early and wasn’t a great nurser until 4-5 months.
Cb says
If your kids need something to do, Chris Haughton is reading his books and leading an activity everyday on Facebook. He’s the author of some of my son’s long-time favourites.
Kid losing his mind says
My 6-year-old has absolutely lost his mind during the quarantine. He is usually very social and I think not being able to be around other people is driving him crazy. Facetime isn’t cutting it. He has trouble with fine motor skills (and gets services for it) but is very sensitive and resistant to “seat work” which is largely what the home assignments have been. He is just miserable and flying off the handle at every little thing. By comparison, his brother is handling things better, but he is more comfortable drawing or doing other quiet activities. He is over walks around the neighborhood and baking cookies and zoo cams. Is there anything we can do? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
Anonymous says
My 6.5 y/o kindergartner (girl) is as well. She hates Zoom/FaceTime. We are leaning in to what she likes (playing outside, bike rides, cooking, reading, and screen time– we let her have virutally unlimited screen time as long as she’s reading) and not pushing what she doesn’t like (her ballet class has moved to zoom; she hates it.
Her school does a thing where they reward good behavior with points. We’ve implemented this system at home and made the threshold lower. I have bought a ton of fun things to use as rewards: a slackline, a superhero outfit, a new craft kit, buying Frozen 2, etc. The next one I have now that school is closed through may is a Kindle Fire, which they’ve been begging for forever.
Long bike rides? Ninja warrior course? Running? My kiddo is super athletic and going bonkers without sports (she plays tennis, soccer and lacrosse, plus dances). We have taken up making massive obstacle courses and she’s been working on her “personal best.”
anon for this says
Confession: I am deeply envious of my friends without kids right now. This juggle is really, really difficult and it’s so hard to not know when it will end. I’m thankful that both DH and I are working from home and our jobs are secure. But I have never been this exhausted, after doing a full day’s work and then 6 hours of parenting (until bedtime, while DH works). I would give a limb to feel the boredom some of my nonparent friends are complaining of.
Anonymous says
You never know which of them would give a limb to have a baby and are heartbroken this time is delaying fertility treatments or their search for a partner.
Anon says
If I have to her Elmo’s voice one more time on my TV…….
That said, the this comment is an astute point. Three years ago I would have been 18 mos into my fertility journey and would have longed to be in a position to have utter disdain for Elmo’s voice. The grass is truly always greener.
Anon says
I had a miscarriage in the fall and would have been due around this time. Makes me wonder if it wasn’t all part of the plan, and while we still desperately want a second kid, I’m thankful to not have to be interacting with the healthcare system right now.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t say that staying home with small kids isn’t boring. It’s just a different kind of boredom (the exhausting kind).
anne-on says
I think that is entirely, deeply normal and justified. Solidarity.
Also – I think there is a special place in hell for anyone sharing those stupid memes about how in 10-15-20 years our kids will all remember this as a special time we all gathered together and took walks/had family dinners/etc. They TOTALLY ignore all the many, many families experiencing food insecurity, anxiety about paying bills, children in homes that are incredibly chaotic where school was their one source of normalcy. Even if NONE of those things are true, how about you don’t gloss over the massive massive stress this puts on working parents to suddenly have to work, oversee schooling (and in many cases design their curriculum) and try to not get fired.
Yes, I am very VERY salty about that as it was all over my facebook feed by many idiotic (mostly) boomers and I am trying not to engage on social media.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, this reminds me of how older people always say “enjoy every moment when the kids are young.” There are a lot of unenjoyable moments and statements like that just make people feel bad.
anne-on says
Agreed, but SO much worse – you don’t know if the family who just saw that might have someone who is sick right now, or who lost their job, or or or. Argh. It just really makes me stabby.
Anon says
I saw a social media post that said “Whoever said ‘the days are long but the years are short’ didn’t live through 2020.” LOL. I actually do think (or at least hope) that to the extent my toddler remembers this, she will have fond memories of all the family togetherness, but I realize that many families aren’t as privileged and many older kids are scared about the virus or upset about not seeing friends.
Anon says
agreed! i really want to have time to do at home workout videos, cook nice meals with DH, organize my house, etc. but we are just too exhausted at the end of the day to do much more than crash into bed.
anon says
I’ve brought in some help. One of our kids daycare teachers is coming in for a few hours a few times a week. She’s not working for anyone else I need to get some serious work done so I don’t get fired. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
And FWIW, this is delaying our fertility treatments (we’re trying for a second) and I totally get your feelings. Your exhaustion is still real.
Cb says
So exhausted! All these lists about what to binge watch/read, and I’m over here falling asleep at 9pm. I just want a few hours of silent working (husband currently on duty but singing along to Little Baby Bum, which honestly, I thought my son had outgrown) and novel + bed.
Anon says
All my close friends have kids but have local grandparents they’ve moved in with them (which I think is perfectly safe – the grandparents aren’t leaving the house at all and the parents aren’t leaving except for groceries). I’m super jealous of that. My parents live a few states away and I don’t even know when my kids and I are going to be able to see them again, let alone how nice it would be to have the help with childcare.
Anon says
Plus I’m worried about their health. There are no grocery delivery or pickup times available in their area, so they have no choice but to go to the store. Their store does have elderly hours that they use, but still. I hate that they have to go to the grocery store every week.
Anon4This says
Eh, counterpoint: we have local grandparents who are really helpful, but given their age (mid-late 60’s), and the fact that my Dad has is on dialysis 3x/week, so that puts him in a very, very high COVID-19 risk category. As much as I’d love to be home with them, and the help that would give us, it just wouldn’t be fair to him and my Mom to introduce even the slightest risk.
Anon says
My friends’ parents aren’t high-risk other than age. But I’m not sure I understand why it would be riskier for you all to live as a family unit. Isn’t a family of two kids, two parents and two grandparents with only person leaving once per week to get groceries safer than two separate family units each sending someone out for groceries, especially if one family unit consists entirely of just grandparents and they have to actually leave the house themselves? One upside for my friends is that their parents have a separate wing in their homes and are literally not leaving the house, while my parents living alone have to go to out to get their groceries. I agree that living separately and visiting is riskier, but that’s not their situation.
Anon4This says
That’s great for your friends, and probably helps a lot with childcare.
My Dad is just in a much higher risk category than even others his age, so I want to take 0 risk at this time. It could change as this lengthens out, of course and it’s been more than enough time (we’re at about 2 weeks, starting week 3 of staying at home right now) where we’re not showing any symptoms. They’ve come by to drop off food and we’ve visited through the gate while they sit in the car.
Unfortunately, my parents’ house doesn’t have that level of separation (e.g. separate wing), and I know my Mom and for her getting out to get groceries is probably her sanity right now. That and because of my Dad’s dietary prefs/general eating habits, I highly doubt she’d let one of us take care of that for her on a weekly basis. Also, I’d rather she focus on my Dad then also worry about me, DH, and DS and cooking/taking care of us (which isn’t something we expect, it is just who she is) AND balancing my Dad’s needs. Oh, and we have a puppy bouncing around, so that’s another liability I wouldn’t want to put on them as they navigate keeping my Dad healthy and safe. Sigh. Wish things were different, as we recently relocated in large part to be closer to them.
Anonymous says
Right there with you. I think this is just a really, really hard time for anyone. I have single friends, childless friends, friends with babies, toddlers, elem kids and teens. Friends with college kids. They are all struggling in their own ways.
Young kids + two working parents is really, really hard. I fall into that bucket and we are tired all the time. My friend with teenagers is able to get work done, but her kids are revolting against social distancing and causing all kinds of social/emotional chaos. Friends with college kids are dealing with kids that are going into very serious depression. My single friends are home alone with very real feelings of isolation and depression. My grandmother is 92 and can’t see any family. My sister a health care professional that works with exclusively high risk seniors and has anxiety attacks about catching the virus because by the time she has symptoms she’d have potentially infected her patients. She can’t sleep.
I keep telling my kindergartner that this is something nobody has ever done before and everyone is having a hard time in their own way. my younger two are happy as pigs in $hit to be home all the time with mom and dad ;).
Clementine says
I think you should give yourself permission to feel however you feel.
I personally am thankful for the kids right now because the busy helps keep my mind off all the fear, but I think your feelings are perfectly valid.
Jeffiner says
Yes!!! My husband and I had to work all weekend to make up enough hours while splitting childcare. I even entertained the idea of bringing my mom down, but she lives a 2-day drive away. I would love the chance to work out our do craft projects or work in the yard, or even garden with my husband. But I am having a lot of fun with my 5 year old. Some of my childless friends cannot imagine being quarantined with a small child, they think it would be torture.
lsw says
Hearing you loud and clear.
anon says
How did you get your baby to take naps in the crib? My 8 month old will only sleep in our arms. His older sister was like this too but we just let her nap in our arms until she got better after turning 1. Obviously with all of us being home this is a problem. Baby sleeps well at night, though we usually have to let him cry for a few minutes to get himself to sleep. Fwiw, he’s also lousy at napping at daycare. Do you do cry it out for naps? It seems to me like he would work himself up too much for it to work for naps but we’re desperate.
Cb says
We did buggy or sling walks for naps until I decided I didn’t want to go out in the snow and did cry it out. I’d give it a try, he might surprise you if he’s gotten used to his cot for nighttime.
Pogo says
Not helpful for the current situation, but daycare fixed him. Until then and especially given the circumstances, can you try a swing? I was all “my kid is gonna nap in the crib!” near the end of my leave (4mos) and then when DH was home on paternity leave during month 5, he basically let him nap in the swing exclusively (which I wasn’t going to argue with – he was home with the baby and it was his choice!). Months 1-4 for reference, were almost 100% laying on my chest. During month 6 when he started at daycare she slowly got him to nap longer and longer in the crib til he became the champion crib napper that he is today.
If you want to try the swing, I can link the one we used w/ great success. I resisted bc its huge and ugly but it was as lifesaver when you can’t/don’t want to hold baby for naps.
Anonymous says
Yeah, We did CIO to get both kids crib napping at 8 months (to prepare them for starting daycare at 9 months). We did Ferber method sleep training for bedtime with each of them at around 5 months and by 8 months they were falling asleep on their own at night without any problems so I figured if they could do it a bedtime they could do it at nap time. It was probably a week or so of pain before they got the hang of it.
Anonymous says
Are we the same person? Actually I think our kids are the same ages – I know someone on this board also has a daughter and an 8 month old son. Anyways – same story. DD napped on us until after 1, DS only naps on us too
Anon says
Swing, stroller walks, car rides. Or nurse to sleep. CIO worked at night but not for naps in our case, although sometimes I would let her cry for 15 min or so for naps. But she seemed to have more stamina and I couldn’t let her cry for a whole hour during the day, so that wasn’t my go to.
Naps are hard. It got a LOT easier when we went than to one nap around 15 months.
first birthday ideas says
My third is turning one this week – sob! Can’t believe she’s so big! Obviously she won’t remember that time she had her first birthday party in a pandemic, but I’d like to do something, especially because older brother and sister have been looking forward to celebrating the baby for a while now (they’re 3 and 5).
We’ll definitely bake a cake and zoom with grandparents. Any other ideas? Pretty anticlimactic I’m guessing! I’d been planning a big picnic party with our friends and their kids since one is really about you and that’s what I think would be fun, but sadly that’s off the table now!
Also we’re getting a foldable little tikes slide which somehow we didn’t have. Any birthday gift ideas for a third? (this would obviously be obtained post birthday!)
Anon says
can you have a picnic party just without the friends? or meet another family at a park where you picnic 6+ feet apart? enlist 3 and 5 year old to help make decorations for the party – like paper chains? that can be an activity in and of itself. it is hard to know what to suggest as gifts without knowing what else you already have and whether you are looking for something everyone can enjoy or more just for the baby. congrats to you for surviving a year with 3 kids, particularly during these times of social distancing!
Anon says
Omg. Meeting another family at the park is not social distancing. There’s no one way to keep babies and preschoolers 6 feet apart from each other.
Anon says
Sorry, but +1,000.
Anon says
Is anyone WFH right now with a young baby? I’m scheduled to return from maternity leave in a couple of weeks. We’re subject to a stay at home order but I work for an essential business, daycare is closed, and DH cannot work from home. Not sure what my options are for extending leave yet. Would love to try making it work, knowing that it might be near impossible, especially with a clingy baby.
Anonymous says
You may be eligible for extended leave.
IHeartBacon says
You should qualify for extended leave under the new Families First Coronavirus Response Act (FFCRA). You should contact your HR person and ask about it. Since the law is so new, your HR person may not know all the details yet, so you should definitely read up on it first.
OP says
Thanks for this. Unfortunately my employer doesn’t qualify (500+ employees).
EB says
This isn’t necessarily true even if her employer is fewer than 500 employees. OP may have already used her 12 weeks of FMLA. You only get 12 weeks of FMLA total – the FFCRA just adds a new kind of FMLA. She might have been able to get the 2 weeks of paid sick time portion, but that isn’t really a long term solution. OP, I think you just need to talk to your employer and figure something out.
Anon says
How old is the baby? My husband worked from home for most of our daughter’s first year. It was pretty easy until she was 9 months and started crawling. I don’t think it would have worked if he was in Big Law or something like that with very long hours expectations, but he could set his own schedule and was able to put in something resembling a 40 hour week between naps and working with her in a carrier or lying on an activity mat next to him. Now she is 2 and we both find it impossible to work from home without the other parent there to entertain her. Infants are easier than toddlers for working home, at least in my opinion.
anon says
+1. I would look into extending your leave. But you may be able to make it work with a young, easy baby. We had a nanny for Kiddo’s 1st year. Our nanny easily had 4 hours during the day to work while the baby slept. She did some light housekeeping for us (dishes and laundry) and spent her remaining time studying for her graduate program and writing music. Right now, there are a lot of people with childcare responsibilities while working from home who are struggling to get in 4-5 hours per day. (Plus, I’m skeptical that most people who work in an office for 8 hour days average more than 5-6 productive hours anyways.)
Anon says
Very baby dependent. I would have collapsed trying to care for my baby and work.
Anon Lawyer says
Ugh I’m going back to work on Wednesday with a 4-month-old. I’m a single mom but fortunately we’ve been seeing my parents (and only them) and they’re going to help out. But I have a billable hour job so I’m still worried. No advice but empathy.
Anon says
all the hugs to you. this sounds very challenging. i am glad you have your parents to help you. good luck
sg says
Late reply, but waves! Returned to work last week with a 4 month old (currently baby wearing) and a 3yo – with husband. We’re on man-to-man defense at this point and it’s been….5 days? We are taking it hour by hour. Lots of tears from 3/4 of us ;)
Anonymous says
I have a seven month old. I took some unpaid leave (not FMLA) to extend my leave period, but had just come back to work and my husband could not work from home. He ended up electing FMLA and was planning to take unpaid FMLA until they caved and let him.
Anonymommy says
The varying levels of lockdown might be in place for awhile. Maybe a reduced schedule, so if you don’t get as much done as you need to, you’ll have some cushion. If you’re not on calls a lot, and your baby isn’t super fussy it should be doable. Bonus would be no pumping!
I tried WFH with first kiddo, and didn’t find it worth it- just worked later because of interruptions and didn’t really get to enjoy the extra kiddo time. Now I’m just back to work and it’s WFH because of pandemic but reduced schedule for a transition periods that I previously negotiated. My mom watches the kids downstairs the three days I work, but frequently the baby hangs out upstairs with my husband and so that grandma can take toddler outside longer, etc. When you have to, it can work. (Again, in ideal world, I opted for reduced schedule instead of WFH, but it is what it is!)
Anonymous says
My 8-month old has started refusing to nap (at the worst time!). He just figured out how to stand up in his crib so he keeps standing up and refuses to lie down. Then he gets overtired and cries a ton. Any suggestions?
AIMS says
Is it possible he needs to change his nap schedule? I can’t remember when mine went from 3 naps to 2 but it may have been around 9 months.
Otherwise, just keep doing your routine. Every time I went thru this with my kids it seemed like they would never stop but then magically a week or so would pass and they’d be on to some other issue but sleeping.
NYCer says
+1.
EB says
8 months is just a really hard time in the sleep world, I think. They are going through huge changes right now. I think the best generalized advice I have is to keep on trucking. He’ll get through it, and you just need to stay strong and keep moving forward. So sorry about the timing!!! I have an 8 month old too, and she was REALLY bad last week. Turns out she had a tooth coming in.
Runner says
Paging moms of late walkers: when did toddler walk, and how worried were you? DS is 16.5 months and (just today) stood alone for five seconds. He cruises, uses his walker (happily and often), climbs, but does not seem too interested in the actual walking bit. His twin sister has been walking for 3-4 months now. I am not too worried but wondering when I should be.
Anonymous says
Is it one of those walkers on wheels (not like a push toy?). Some say those actually delay walking. But if he’s standing independently I wouldn’t worry until 18 months
Anon says
Yeah, my twins were late walkers and their ped said she wasn’t worried until 18 months. Cruising, standing independently, and climbing are all signs he’s developing fine, just not interested in walking yet.
Anon says
Me!! My daughter walked about a week before her 18 month birthday, but she never stood alone before walking and only cruised for the first time a couple weeks before walking. Her daycare teachers were *very* worried (“we’ve never seen a child who couldn’t walk at this age!!”), her ped was calm and said there was nothing to do until her 18 month appointment, I was anxious but trying to be calm about it. I myself didn’t walk until 19 months, so there was a definite family history there. It’s hard because a lot of people (including my parents) said to us “oh kids are either walkers or talkers, as long as she’s hyper verbal you don’t have to worry.” That made me so anxious because although she had maybe 10-15 words at 16 months and was gradually beginning to talk more and more, it wasn’t like we could claim she was some kind of verbal prodigy. Anyway, it was all fine, she walked a little before 18 months and is now totally normal. She also had a massive language explosion at 18 months (which I know is typical) and got hundreds of new words every week and began speaking in short sentences at that point. It was just hard one me to not have her really walking or talking until 18 months because most kids are doing one or the other (or both) before then.
lsw says
I was apparently a late walker myself – older than 18 months (not sure how much older) and was speaking in sentences before I could walk. My mom said that she thought I walked later because I was working on those other skills first!
Anonymous says
Kid 1: 17 mos
Kid 2: 16 mos
Kid 3: day before 18 mos
All of them were excellent crawlers and had strength to hold up legs just cautious. As a result of being late walkers they were very good walkers quickly- didn’t have much of that wobbly time that early walkers have. I like to think my kids are strategically lazy. :) My advice is don’t worry unless the doc is worried.
Pogo says
On the actual topic of this post, I’m wfh at 18w pregnant and trying to wear at least (maternity) jeans, a work-appropriate top, and a giant comfy sweater. I need to have that separation between lounge time in evenings and weekends and work time. I’d actually wear more of my work wardrobe if it weren’t so freakin cold here in the NorthEast. Our heating bill will be insane as it is with everyone home full-time instead of turned down to 62 all day, so I’m trying not to constantly crank it up and instead wear aforementioned giant comfy sweaters. DH and LO run hot so they don’t care, but even 68 feels cold to me compared to my office.
Patricia Gardiner says
Welp, my state (Maryland) just got a stay-at-home order effective tonight. One of our daycare teachers has been coming in to care for our toddler – she is working only with us and otherwise isolate. Both DH and I are in healthcare, but can mostly work remotely- but we do need to each be working/available during all business hours. It will be extremely rough if we can’t have her come in, but we will do what we have to.
Does anyone know how the stay-at-home orders apply to nannies?
Anon says
Virginia just got one too.
Anonymous says
Until June 10! Our governor is a doctor, so that may have something to do with it.
Anon says
I think it’s state specific. In my state, childcare workers are considered essential so it would be legal for her to continue coming to work for you.
Anon says
I live in Houston and the one here does not apply to nannies – nannies can still go to work. Granted ours has so many exceptions (including gun stores, furniture stores, mattress stores), that I feel like all it did was close clothing stores. Last week we did not have her come because we kind of felt like since we aren’t doctors our jobs aren’t truly essential, but we decided to have her come since the increased risk is minimal. We also told her that we would pay her either way and gave her the option of whether or not to come. If we had the space, I would have her move in, but we don’t so that was not an option for us.
anon says
Ha, I live in Houston and we didn’t have our nanny last week and we do have her this week. (and told her we’d pay her either way)
It feels like the virus hasn’t exploded here, which is a dangerous time obviously. But our lives are also way better with childcare while we both WFH.
Realist says
If we still had our nanny, I would definitely be asking her to move in with us right now. Not sure if that is an option for OP, but if the nanny is following stay-at-home protocol and there is a separate bedroom for her, it would be safest for everyone to minimize contacts with others (one adult can shop for all, etc.). Plus the odds go down that all adults in the house would be at peak sickness at the same time and hopefully one person would be minimally functional to get everyone through. That is my biggest fear right now.
Anonymom says
In NY they do not. They only apply to businesses – and you are not a business.
Anon says
Are you sure about that? When I employed a nanny, I paid payroll and unemployment insurance taxes and had an Employer Identification Number with the IRS. I think there’s a strong argument that someone who pays their nanny on the books is a business with only one employee.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think there is an exemption for childcare workers serving families in essential jobs. Yours may qualify? Also, FWIW, apparently Laura V of BOBW still has her nanny come and as far as I know, neither she nor her husband are in essential jobs.
Pogo says
State specific. MA is an advisory, not an order, so they are not enforcing in any way. In fact there are a ton of cars going past my window right now and like… where are you people going?? Everything is closed??? But you can just drive around, I guess.
My employer is providing employees with “essential employee” letters for them to carry in jurisdictions with enforceable orders, so to points above if you are employing her legally and she is considered essential under your state order (because caring for the children of essential employees), you could do the same.
Anonymous says
In my town people are doing neighborhood or town scavenger hunts in the cars. I drove my kids around town hiding messages for her friends to find in a few days.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
See if you can get ahold of the text of the order. Our reading was that our babysitter was excluded from the order, although we are not essential workers. Would your nanny be willing to live with you for a while? I think that would be fine.
Spirograph says
The text of the order is here: https://wtop.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/453957680-Gov-Larry-Hogan-s-Stay-At-Home-Order-3-30-20.pdf
The order does allow care for family or a friend in another household or location. To the extent that childcare could be construed as caring for a friend, I think that would qualify?
Patricia Gardiner says
Thanks all for the replies. The text is a bit confusing. I will talk with her also about her comfort level.
Thank you!