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This sleeveless pleated Georgette top has been around in dress form and blouse form for a while now at Nordstrom, and I love it. It’s machine washable/line dry, and I think it’s pretty and floaty but also easy, particularly if you’re not really happy with your tummy situation.
I also like that it’s got a high neckline and comes in a number of colors.
The top is currently on sale for $25.90 (marked down from $59), and the dress version is on sale too, from $89 to $39. Sleeveless Pleated Georgette Top
Vince Camuto has an option in plus sizes; it’s $109 at Nordstrom.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
All the smiles today. My son went to nursery this am and my husband is in the office. I’m at home alone, sadly doing the very painful task of cutting 2000 words from an article. But I did a express yoga workout, read a chapter of my book during my lunch break, and am enjoying the quiet. T was so excited this am, he wanted to go as soon as he woke up and wore his dazzling shirt to look smart for his teachers.
We’ve only been allocated two days a week and can’t find someone to plug the gaps but fingers crossed they might be able to end the bubbling and open to full capacity.
Anonymous says
Yay! We went back last week and it’s been so great.
Pogo says
Aww! I was wondering how he was doing. Did he get all the Thomas trains he wanted for his birthday? We have all the key players now so LO is super psyched. He also got some extra Brio tracks, which came with a Brio catalog. This morning he took the catalog to daycare to show his buddy “These the trains Santa goin to bring me!”
Cb says
Yes, he was pretty excited. Annie and Clarabelle and a rescue train, and then some awesome vintage Duplo. We also ordered some of the vehicles from his favourite TV show (Tittipo, basically South Korean Thomas). We had a few days away after his birthday and I love 3 thus far, he’s just so easy and fun!
Anon says
So happy for you! We found out yesterday that our preschool is closed until January; they will reevaluate later in the fall about reopening for the spring. I am crushed, both for myself and my little one who asks every day about when she can go to school again.
Anon says
Aww hugs, that was us from March until this past Monday. It’s so so so hard, especially when you’re dealing with your child’s sadness as well as your own. You’re a better person than me. I had to stop reading here over the summer because I just couldn’t take all the happy “we have school again and it’s so wonderful!” posts. Is it possible to explore other preschools? I think kids generally roll with the punches of moving schools pretty easily and once she starts a new school she would probably forget about the old one pretty quickly, even though I know that’s kind of bittersweet.
Anon says
When they delayed the reopening decision, I had mentally prepared myself for the closure, but is still rough to have it actually be, rather than likely be. We thought about trying to switch preschools, but this was really the only one we liked when we shopped around last year. I told DH I was inclined to wait them out – he had called around to a couple of places that were opening in person, but their spots are all full in any event.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that’s so tough. Everything about this situation sucks.
Fallen says
What do you do to discipline your kids? Mine walk all over me and I need help! I don’t do anything – I rarely even raise my voice or yell (too much meditation/yoga for me over the last couple years has mellowed me out too much!) All I do is use natural consequences and not super consistently and that doesn’t really work. Husband will once in a while yell and that works very well. My 7 year old whines a lot and Is a PIA unless getting her way and it takes a ton of work to get her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
Anonymous says
We use a lot of ‘if…then…’ for logical consequences. Like ‘if you don’t put away your craft supplies now, then we won’t have time to go for a bike ride before dinner’.
Also use second chances for rude language – like ‘I want peanut butter toast’, ‘ Can you try that again using your polite asking words?’ ‘Can I have peanut butter toast please?’ ‘Thank you, that was much nicer. Yes you can have toast/No you can’t have toast now because dinner is in 5 mins.’ Asking politely doesn’t always mean a yes to the request.
We do use time outs in their room as well for more significant behavior issues like hitting a sibling. We emphasize that you have to play kindly and you if can’t play nicely you need to take a break from playing.1 minute per year of age. We sit with them, in their room after and talk about how they were feeling when they acted out (hit sibling or whatever), and some ideas for what they can do next time when they feel that way. We also mirror this behaviour ourselves. Sometimes I will say ‘Mommy is feeling frustrated and needs a couple minutes to herself’.
Anonanonanon says
One of the ones here with an upper-elementary student.
What does she do when she’s a PITA?
For the whining, ignore it. Don’t keep engaging, don’t feed into it. I don’t mean give your kid the cold shoulder or silent treatment, that’s emotional abuse, but you also don’t have to engage with the whining. You can say “DD, you asked, and I gave you my answer. We are not watching a movie during dinner tonight. That is the decision. I promise, complaining is not going to change my mind, so let’s talk about something else. I read an article today about a lady who got her drivers license in the mail and instead of her picture, there was a picture of an empty chair! Isn’t that funny? Can you imagine if that happened to someone in the yearbook?” If she’s still sulking, I’d say “It’s OK if you don’t feel like talking right now. I’ll talk to Daddy, but please join in when you’re ready, I enjoy talking to you about things” and just talk with your husband until she’s done sulking.
I’ve gone as far as “I can see you’re upset that you don’t get to watch a movie. We were excited to have a nice dinner and talk with you, but we can’t do that if you will only say negative things about everything. It’s OK to be disappointed, but how about you take a minute in your room to let yourself be mad and disappointed, and then you come back and have a nice time with us. We really enjoy spending time with you. Here, I’ll set some extra mac and cheese aside so it’s still here when you come back”
This is for her own good. She is not going to make and keep friends if she whines or throws fits every time they don’t play exactly what she wants to play the way she wants to play it. It’s around this age that kids start to realize they don’t HAVE to be friends with everyone.
To me, it was/is important to teach my son that it is OK to feel grumpy or disappointed or irritated. We still do as adults. BUT, the life skill/lesson is that you don’t have a right to ruin everyone else’s time with those feelings. No one is saying you can’t feel disappointed or upset, but at a certain point, you need to step away and get those feelings together and then rejoin the group. Also, it’s OK to be upset and disappointed, but the rest of the world doesn’t stop because of it.
anonymommy says
Try How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (there’s also the original How to Talk so Kids will Listen, for older kids) — you can also listen on audible. It sounds like this might fit your no-yelling philosophy without getting walked over. We’ve still had to do some time outs, but I like a lot of the concepts.
Anon says
Not perfect here – also have occasional whiners and getting them to do stuff is hard – but my biggest successes are trying to remember throughout the entire day anytime there is something they want that I have control over, doing a quick run through in my head of things I want them to do and making them do those before xyz.
Example, we used to not do dessert every night but now we do something small bc it allows me to force them to clean the family room of their toys at the end of the day before they get it.
I can see how they get older this might get harder though (my oldest is 6).
My other not-recommended tactic is in the midst of the whine I ask them loudly “would you like some cheese with that whine???” And then I laugh hard at my own mom joke, often while drinking wine. :)
Pogo says
Mine is younger and more tantrum-y, so I use 1-2-3 magic. It is actually quite effective if you really follow through with the consequence after 3 warnings. Usually after the’3′ for us, it’s putting an object into time-out (Even with an older kid, I could see taking away the ipad or something). If I recall the author advocates using it for kids of all ages.
For whining and general obnoxiousness (complaining about not getting exactly what they want for dinner or snack), I ignore. I don’t feel that anything good comes of trying to reason or argue, and they will eventually give in. The hardest thing for me is like, “I want a popsicle for dinner” and then prying the fridge open and grabbing the popsicle. I feel like you have to physically intervene at that point if they won’t listen. Actual example from last night, lol.
Spirograph says
+1 for 1-2-3 Magic. You can use this to curb any undesirable behavior, as long as you are clear on the expectations and consistent with enforcement. SImilar to Pogo, I don’t usually count for whining, I just ignore/state that I can’t hear or can’t understand when someone talks to me in that tone of voice.
Trickier to get kids to do things they don’t like. For my 7 year old, we have a hard rule that there are no screens until both 5pm and xyz are done. That gives him all day to accomplish the tasks (very little is time-sensitive for us these days), and he is very motivated to maintain his video game time before dinner. It works 80-90% of the time, which is as good as anything gets.
ElisaR says
1-2-3 magic worked quite well for us too. I learned about it on this board! We usually didn’t get to 3. Funny thing: I heard my 4 year old dealing with his 2.5 yr old brother yesterday. He tried to employ the 1-2-3 magic technique and got up to 8….. it had me cracking up. He never got past 3 so the consequence wasn’t understood by him. His brother on the other hand…. let’s just say that child laughs in the fact of 1-2-3 magic.
Pigpen's Mama says
I tried to count our dog last week when she wouldn’t drop something she wasn’t supposed to have….*sigh*.
We generally have good results with 1-2-3 magic, except for the month or so that my then 4 year old would start counting for me with a “what are you gonna do” look.
Anon says
I sometimes have this issue too. The only thing i really count for is when my 2 year old twins climb on the coffee table, but they were really into counting and would instruct me to count as they climbed on the table and then they would get down before I got to 3 and then do it again. I do have to say I’m impressed with their problem solving. The other day one suggested I set the timer to end an activity
Anon says
We do a reverse (count from 3 to 1, if we hit 1 then consequence)…and my 3YO has taken to defiantly shouting “1!” for me….one day that spirit will serve her well, but it might break me first.
Pogo says
That is hilarious. I love it.
BlueAlma says
1,2,3 Magic and timeouts have worked well for us. I do count for whining sometimes. All feelings are fine, but I don’t have to put up with inappropriate actions/tone of voice.
Anon says
I want to actually commend you for not yelling and staying calm. I tend towards raising my voice and yelling too often and that is not the mom I want to be. So, I think you are in a great spot – now you can find discipline strategies to add in, but at least you don’t have to undo current “angry mom” behaviors. Yelling is often a sign of losing control, and can promote a culture of fear in the family. Honestly, kudos to you.
I second the recommendation for How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, as well as No Drama Discipline.
Anon says
When my 7 year old whines and doesn’t stop, I tell him to go upstairs to him room because I don’t want to hear it anymore.
JDMD says
A silly but shockingly effective thing that my husband and I do when our kids (ages 4 and 5) are arguing: we stage a very obviously fake, super-whiney, ridiculous argument. Like they’re giving each other mean looks at dinner and complaining about something, and I’ll say to my husband, “I think we should argue about something. Your food looks like poo*!” And he’ll say, “It does not, but your car smells like poo*! And that’s because you let elephants poo* in your car everyday!” And so on. The kids start laughing, and then they try to coach us in how to settle our “argument”. The key is to make the argument extremely ridiculous and stagey, and to give the kids the chance to “teach” us how to get over it.
Anonymous says
This makes my kid even angrier because she thinks we are mocking her.
JDMD says
Yeah, that’s a fair point. I’d say that it’s really just for bickering, not for when someone is genuinely upset and needs some emotional validation, or for when they’re really going at each other.
Anonymous says
I know it’s too early to be certain, but what do people think is going to happen with birthday parties this year? Outdoor parties seem pretty safe, especially if it’s a small group of kids already exposed to each other through daycare or school. But where does that leave the winter birthday kids? I don’t see how you can plan for an outdoor party in January/February in the Midwest or Northeast. Would you go to an indoor party if it was just families in your daycare class?
Anonymous says
I just can’t fathom this question. It’s months and months away. None of us have any idea what things will be like then.
I get wanting to plan and control but you can’t.
Anonymous says
I hear you, but this isn’t entirely hypothetical – we got our first invite to an outdoor party for a daycare classmate. I’m comfortable going because it’s outside and adults will be masked and keeping their distance. But my kid doesn’t yet know that birthday parties are a thing (we’ve always just celebrated at home – this was going to be the first year with a friend party), so I guess I’m hesitant to take her to a bunch of outdoor parties this fall and then have to explain to her that she doesn’t get a birthday party like all the other kids because it can’t be held outside. That seems like it would be hard for her to understand. On the other hand, I’d like to attend the parties to celebrate these kids and get to know them and their families better. :/
Anonymous says
The question is winter birthdays not parties now? If a party now seems good, go for it. Deal with tomorrow when it comes.
blueberries says
It stinks, but no parties for our family. Kids are already exposed to each other, but the adults aren’t. Parties involve so much unmasking for eating/drinking and are a driver of spread in my community.
NYCer says
I agree. The issue has not come up yet, but I think that we will skip all birthday parties for now. (I am almost surprised that someone is even having an outdoor birthday party right now.)
Anon says
Same. I mean, does it make me a terrible mom if I find one silver lining the fact that there is an external excuse not to have to do the expense and pita of throwing a little kid’s birthday party? Why are people squandering this opportunity!!!?
Kidding. Kind of…
(I promise we make it special in other ways!!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
I agree with you there. I can’t say I wasn’t happy when we didn’t have to do anything for my 4 year old’s April birthday… He still got presents and didn’t seem to mind. We went to about 8 birthday parties last year and there was definitely pressure to throw one as so many classmates did.
Full disclosure is that we are attending an outdoor birthday party for a daycare friend this summer. I feel ok with the risks and only 1 of us parents is going, fully masked, no shared food, etc. I can see how others might not feel comfortable though so I suspect parties will be few and far in between this upcoming year.
Anonymous says
As a midwestern mom with 2 elementary kids both with winter birthdays, we will not attend or throw a winter birthday party. If it’s not safe for school, then not safe for parties.
Anonanonanon says
I’m sure, like everything, it will vary from group to group. But I, personally, would never even consider attending something like that. Yes, the kids are exposed to each other, but that doesn’t mean all of the adults are direct contacts. I’m not going to risk finding out that we were directly exposed to a parent with COVID and now have to all stay home for 2 weeks. Or worse, actually catching it.
Pogo says
None for the foreseeable future. Even though our kiddo is exposed to his daycare friends, I just couldn’t fathom having a party where they and their siblings and parents were all there – it’s so much. We did balloons and a sign outside, which is common here – the kiddo and parents stand there and wave to get people to honk or wish happy birthday as they walk by. One daycare buddy who lives close walked by with her family and we chatted in the driveway, distanced, for 5min.
Indoor stuff is totally out for me honestly until there’s a vaccine.
Anne says
We are going all out with a “party” for just our immediate family (balloons, cake, paper plates, decorations, costumes . . . ). Hopefully our four year feels that is special.
rosie says
If you want to do a virtual party, I’ve heard of aquariums and zoos doing parties — and you wouldn’t be limited by what is geographically close to you, obviously. I think this is a better idea for all parties right now, not just winter ones that cannot be outdoors, because even the outdoor parties seem like a bad idea.
anon says
Nope, I don’t see us doing parties anytime soon, now or in the winter. We’re in the Midwest. Both of my kids have fall birthdays (Sept. and late Nov.). We’ll make it special with our immediate family but no way in he!! am I hosting a party, particularly one in late fall when being outdoors isn’t always an option.
anon says
My area isn’t a hot spot and no one is doing outdoor birthday parties. Too risky. We’ve gotten a few invites to birthday parades where you walk by the person’s house and wave/cheer, but no actual parties. I’m assuming the birthday parades will continue into the fall/winter, but I suppose it will be more difficult in the very coldest months.
Anon says
I could totally see an outdoor winter birthday party but it would probably be ice skating or a snowball fight or tubing. I’m in a state with low numbers that has ramped up outdoor activities for now. I would skip food and cake though and just have an activity.
Anonymous says
We had one for my daughter (4). We invited 3 friends in her daycare class and their families. Outdoor dinner/pizza/cupcakes, playtime and movie night outside. No masks for kids, parents were very distant (I put up little seating areas).
Kids are unmasked at daycare so they are up in each others’ germ bubble anyway.
I wouldn’t have done a big class party though.
My oldest turns 8 in October and I’m planning to let her have her 2 BFFs sleep over and we are going ALL OUT. FWIW she’s in the same hybrid cohort with these 2 girls and we are childcare sharing, so again, same germ sphere. Not the trampoline park for sure ;).
anon says
Favorite gift ideas for a 6 year old girl? This is for a good friend’s daughter, I have my own kids…but am fresh out of good ideas. Budget is up to $40.
anon says
Settlers of Catan for Kids. Sleeping Queens. Sequence for Kids. Guess who. Connect 4. Labyrinth.
FVNC says
With the caveat that I haven’t given this gift yet….I bought my soon-to-be 7 yr old daughter a unicorn-printed umbrella where the unicorns change color when they get wet (Floss and Rock brand). I think she’ll love it. Other ideas: I recently a huge set of Magnatile knock-offs for my niece who just turned six and they seem to be a hit; set of Ivy and Bean or Nancy Clancy books; water color paint set; lava lamp.
Anonymous says
Calico Critters are great for that age
Anon says
Calico Critters are great for that age
DLC says
My daughter (now eight) loves fashion plates and we have gotten a lot of mileage out of them.
She also loves her Barbies and loves dressing them and doing their hair, and would love any large Barbie accessories/ play kits. I don’t love Barbies, but I do appreciate that they come in a wide range of ethnicities and body types now.
anon says
Walkie-talkies
Anonymous says
Sleeping Queen card game, Beading Kit, nice set of gel pens, set of books (if she’s going into 1st, mine loves the Never Girls series but also liked the Daisy Meadow Fairy books and Sassafras and Zoey books a lot too), Legos, accessories for any sport/hobby (mine loves gymnastics leotards, tennis skirts and crazy soccer socks), a vTech watch, anything from the tween junk section at target.
Anon says
My just turned four year old won’t put on sunscreen. It’s become a battle of wills and it’s bad. giant tantrums and we end up leaving him at home with one parent because we won’t let him go to the pool or a park without it. Any tips? He’s generally a nightmare right now but this is the thing making all of our lives worse…
Anonymous says
Hold him down and do it.
Pogo says
+1 It’s not constant, but mine will throw fits like this from time to time about teeth brushing, hair brushing, sunscreen… you know, basic health and hygiene. It’s not an option. We just hold him down and do it. You can’t not wear sunscreen.
Spirograph says
Long sleeves (or at least shoulders covered) + hat.
I am not as diligent with sunscreen as I could be, but I don’t feel it as necessary to pick that battle if they have less exposed skin. UV swim shirts are among my top 10 favorite things in the summer.
ElisaR says
i would be lost without sunshirts. i still need to put the sunscreen on faces but the long sleeve shirts help so much.
oh and i love them for me too.
Anon says
+1. With a swimshirt I only need to wrestle sunscreen on the face and maybe legs depending on activitiy.
NYC Girl says
Can you put him in a sun shirt, shorts and hat to cover most of his body? Sunscreen only required on face, neck and lower legs…?
Anonanonanon says
long sleeve SPF shirt and a hat.
Then, if you really feel strongly about adding sunscreen to that, you really only have to worry about his face. His legs can be sprayed without his cooperation. You could literally spray his legs as he ran away. Or once he’s buckled into his car seat.
Cb says
Can you put him in SPF shirts so you only need to do the face and legs? Let him put it on you and then swap? We do sunscreen on the face, a big hat, and a rule that if he won’t keep the hat on, we go straight home. We’ve only had to head home once but appreciate your kid may have more stamina than mine, given that you’ve left him home more than once and he hasn’t changed his tune.
Anonymous says
I have 5 year old twin boys. Daycare made them pretty compliant about it but when I need to get everyone done quickly I will do forearms and calves while they are watching tv then turn tv off and tell them it doesn’t go back on until faces are done. Sunscreen ready to go on my hands and say something like ‘let’s get this done quick so you can watch tv’ as I’m swiping it around their faces. Then let them watch for another 5 -10 minutes once done while I do my own sunscreen. For swimming then always wear trunks and swim shirts so it’s literally just forearms, calves, face/neck.
I like the ombrelle sport one. Goes on easy and dries quick. We are in a northern climate so only doing sunscreen for a couple months in the summer, as a result I’m not concerned about using a chemical vs mineral sunscreen. I do use a mineral one on myself and 8 year old who is more compliant around sunscreen.
NYCer says
Have you tried spray sunscreen? I find it significantly easier to apply. We use Beauty Counter mineral spray sunscreen.
AnotherAnon says
My 3 y/o is the same: he hates sunscreen and bug spray (could be sensory processing difficulty). Things that help: using spray sunscreen, pretend it’s a game and chase him around (this is highly dependent on my mood but if I make it playful he tolerates it better), allow him to apply some of it himself – we let him apply it to his nose, then I do everywhere else while he’s distracted. If it comes down to a battle of wills (which only happens on days ending in y), I calmly tell him he must wear sunscreen, then I hold him down if necessary and apply it. I try to be gentle but thorough. My theory is a little is better than none. Some kids really do have a hard time with textures and sensations so I try to be empathetic…but you gotta wear sunscreen kiddo.
rosie says
Let him to it himself with a sunscreen stick and you put it on after, or let him put it on you while you put it on him.
anon says
My son hates it on his face, but I recently picked up some sunscreen sticks (Neutrogena Wet Skin Kids SPF 70) and he will put it on his face by himself, and then allow me to go in for the places he missed. We also use spray (like everyone else) and he gets to spray my legs after I’m done spraying him down.
anonn says
Are you using a mineral sunscreen? If not, maybe the chemicals are irritating his skin, especially around the eyes. For the face we use a beauty blender to apply and it makes it so much easier and we get better coverage.
Anon says
Is there any chance he is having an uncomfortable reaction to it? I’m allergic to a bunch of sunscreens and my skin will feel like it’s burning and itching but look fine and then a day or two later I will get pimples.
For me, I’ve found the Zinc based ones don’t cause me pain, as well as the Neutrogena sunscreen sticks. If I already have a sunscreen stick on and I need to reapply, I can use a spray one without itching and burning. But if I put regular (not zinc) lotion or a spray one without the stick base, I’m really uncomfortable.
Is he good with telling you if something hurts or itches him? I don’t know how you would distinguish I don’t want to just because versus I don’t want to because this makes me hurt. If he is passing up the pool and the park to avoid it, it makes me wonder if it is something more like what I experience.
Anon says
Has anyone been following Laura Vanderkam’s blog or podcast lately? I find it annoying that she is giving parents advice about working from home while caring for children when she seems to have continual nanny coverage herself, unless I’m missing something. On her blog the other day, she talked about how two parents working from home can split childcare and literally said “It isn’t bad at all.” Sure, you can make it all sound doable on paper, but when is real life like that?!
Cb says
I can’t cope with advice from someone with two nannies right now. I’m an academic, my husband is a civil servant, we’ve got “big jobs” but that doesn’t translate into big incomes, and a nanny is so far out of our economic reach. And we’re in a two bed flat so an au pair is off the table as well. I just want them to talk to normal parents – not this weird influencer turn they’ve taken. How are people grappling with the everyday financial and practical realities of work and childcare in a pandemic?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yep, I listen to her podcast with SHU, Best of Both Worlds, weekly but a lot of the advice is all well and good if you’ve got tons of $$$ to throw at nannies and have flexibility yourself. Their tagline that this is a show for “real” women is laughable as they only represent the top 1% or so of working women (which is fine, nothing wrong with making lots of money, just wish they would acknowledge it). SHU’s blog is much more relatable and she definitely acknowledges her privilege.
I always think that I want a podcast with more women who are working well-paid but not extravagant jobs, juggle daycare and have husbands who do the same, but then I realize that someone in that position probably doesn’t have a ton of time to devote to projects like that! I know I don’t.
Cb says
Yes, me too! That’s why I like the week in the life series here. I want more of that, more ‘how I get this done’ tips.
GCA says
Yeah, I have the same reservations. Five kids and three kids, working from home, no interruptions? I call BS. There was a much more realistic piece in the WashPost last month (https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/interruptions-parenting-pandemic-work-home/2020/07/09/599032e6-b4ca-11ea-aca5-ebb63d27e1ff_story.html) where two academics actually measured the number, frequency and duration of kid interruptions in their family, and it’s a wonder anyone gets work done while wfh with no childcare. It explains why most of us have our non-work thoughts and projects reduced to brief comments on internet fora and on social media – we don’t have the proverbial room of one’s own.
Pogo says
ha, exactly!
Anon says
I feel the same way. My husband and I have a fine household income but we could not afford the types of outsourcing they recommend offhand as if it’s totally within reach and reasonable for “real” working families. Just affording daycare and paying off student loans will take all our spare money in the next few years. There is not a lot extra just floating around! We budget. We can see what’s there. Can’t we talk about any other possible solutions? Clearly lots of families have to get by without.
But what gets me is that she doesn’t show compassion or seem in touch with what’s going on now. Does she have friends who aren’t privileged? Does she ever interview women who aren’t in the top 1 percent to see how they’re coping? Does she even want to hear what they have to say? Is she even interested in people who make average incomes?
anon says
I find SHU a lot more relatable that Laura. SHU’s been pretty upfront about recent childcare challenges on her blog, which I appreciate. With Laura, I have to view her advice with a heavy dose of “take what you can and leave the rest” because her life is vastly different from most people’s realities, mine included. DH and I have a good combined income for our location, and I still can’t fathom having the money to hire one nanny, let alone two.
Anon says
Totally agree — there are a lot of reasons not to love Laura’s style. I have also noticed, however, that her 5th baby is a terrible sleeper and I think she is on a shorter fuse that seems not totally out of character but less tolerant of others. So maybe judge 80% and give 20% grace for a 5 month old that still doesn’t sleep more than 3 hours a night:)
AnotherAnon says
This. It’s like she resents the fact that everyone isn’t making the same decisions as she did. If I wanted a white lady to judge me for being a middle class working mom, I’d call my mother.
Anon says
Lol! Nicely put.
Anonanonanon says
where is this so I can rage-read it
Anon says
https://lauravanderkam.com/2020/08/the-30-hour-workweek-schedule-with-a-50-50-split/
Anonanonanon says
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
OK.
1. ANYONE can work it out on paper, like she did. If what we put on paper worked, daycares wouldn’t exist?
2. Even this unrealistic schedule she came up with only provides each parent 25 hours a week of “sure” coverage. which is…. barely over half-time. So her “you can do it it’s OK and not that hard” solution is to only work 20 hours a week
Sorry I can’t even coherently express how horrible this is.
Realist says
Agree. What happens when one person needs 50-60 hours of coverage and the other needs at least 40 hours? Or one parent works outside of the home? Also, solo parents are a thing that exists.
AnotherAnon says
oh my god. I am going to write an entire “day in the life” post dedicated to how insanely out of touch this is.
Anon says
Yesss!
IHeartBacon says
As someone who has to bill hours, I often lose 20-25% of time every day just doing natural things like taking short mental breaks, eating meals, refilling my coffee cup or water bottle, etc. (i.e., I’m in the office about 10 hours, but only get about 8 hours billed). This means that “25 hours [of] sure coverage” a week means I’d probably end up billing about 19 hours per week. Her opinion/math clearly assumes that her readers are all writers or bloggers.
Anon says
+1. And I’ve been billing 60-80 hours a week the last few weeks, it’s been brutal.
avocado says
What. The. Actual. Eff.
Who are these mythical children who nap for two solid hours a day? What actual real job allows you to work 25 hours a week, on a schedule that you set, without demands from clients or co-workers? What are the chances of a household’s being made up of two parents who only have to work 25 hours a week and children who nap or will quietly disappear into their rooms for two hours a day, all at the same time?
It makes me sick how all these parenting and personal finance bloggers and podcasters get to make a living by spending a few hours a week telling people with actual jobs that they are doing everything wrong.
anon says
+1 million to your last paragraph. I am so over listening to advice from anyone who is a so-called influencer, because they live in a different universe from any parents that I know. And I consider myself pretty darn privileged, in the grand scheme of things. I feel like I’ve gotten away with a lot in the past six months because I haven’t blown any major deadlines and my boss has child care issues of her own.
Anon says
Yes! Laura is so unrelatable and seems to disdain anyone who disagrees with her. I had already read SHU for years before the podcast but she’s become frustrating too though she tries to acknowledge her privilege.
Anon says
SHU is a breath of fresh air, and I like her a lot. Whenever her nanny is out of commission, she complains a lot about how hard it is on her blog, which is relatable and I appreciate her honesty – the struggle is real when you don’t have help, when you have to cook dinner yourself, work full-time from home etc.
Cb says
I like Sarah a lot but I have to remind myself when she complains about “normal” parent things, that she’s got a husband with intense hours and 3 kids, versus my normal hour husband/1 kid. Things that seem fairly straight forward to me must be more complicated solo and with 2. But she manages quite a lot of alone time at the weekend, which I’m super jealous of, but not jealous enough to wake up at 5am.
Anon says
I’m a huge fan of Laura’s work, because it helped me consider all the options for all the dilemmas I had (and all the ones I fretted about but never had) as a brand new working mom with a big job. But she doesn’t seem to get what it’s like to work in a Fortune 500 corporate job where no one cares about my own availability when scheduling a meeting. So I can’t jump schedule meetings or work around my energy levels and childcare availability. I like their podcast but do wish they had a third person with an office job who could speak from that point of view.
Anon says
Laura makes a lot of assumptions about what employees can/should do, but she hasn’t worked in an office or at a corporation herself for most of her career, and I don’t hear her doing any primary research into the workplace as a journalist these days, doing outreach or interviews for a boots on the ground perspective.
Anon4This says
I keep skipping it on my feed, tbqh. I find her painfully hard to relate to right now for the reasons you mention, and glaringly, dare I say…White?
I do agree with others SHU does a much better job and appreciate all her awareness esp these days around BLM and BIPOC generally. Her journaling/documenting, while it clearly gives her focus and purpose, would be such a drain for me personally. I admire her workout commitment. I’m also often curious why (in non-COVID times) her husband’s local family doesn’t typically provide much support with their kids.
anon says
Thank you for starting this, I’ve wanted to vent about her for a while…this post is written like someone who doesn’t have children and has never experienced child care.
I wonder if she has any clue how smug she comes across…
anon says
On my snarkiest days, I can’t help but think: No wonder you have five kids; you have hired out literally every unpleasant aspect of running a household and family.
Fire Pit? says
Anyone here have a fire pit? I think it’s time to get one. I see this an activity that will be parents only, after kids are in bed, until kids are what 8? 10? Are there other options to make outside activities in the cooler weather more bearable?
My first thought is to get a little cheap one from somewhere. But I’m intrigued by the smokeless breeo ones?
Anonymous says
We have a woodburning firepit, which we rarely use because it’s messy and makes your hair and clothes smell like smoke. I wish we had a propane one.
As long as they will follow directions, even little kids can safely enjoy a fire.
Pogo says
We started with a cheap one from Home Depot (like literally $200 or something) and we love it. As part of doing some more permanent landscaping/hardscaping I’d want to put in a patio with a nicer wood burning one. We use it exclusively after bedtime to relax and have at-home “date nights”. We like the wood burning aspect though, we do actually make smores. Yes, two adults in our mid-30s.
Anonymous says
We got a low-smoke one (Solo) recently and husband loves it. We have young kids and they are great about not going near it, but we are careful to always have an adult outside near the pit when it’s going. It was not cheap, but it’s already getting used a couple times a week– I imagine when it cools off, we’ll use it almost daily.
Fire Pit? says
I want to do the solo or the breeo! Is the outside of the container very hot? I assume it must be (it is a fire!) I worry about accidentally bumping into the metal sides. The bricks around a firepit seem less heat conducive. This is I think the biggest reason why I am not pulling the trigger.
Lyssa says
We got a gas one with a table around it last year, and it’s been great. Even pre-pandemic, my husband and I realized that it’s not quite like going to a bar, but it’s pretty close to the experience if we get drinks and sit outside at it after the kids have gone to bed. My complaint would be that it’s not really very warm (I’ve been trying to imagine a little metal roof I could fashion over it to redirect the heat back down – I am not that talented), so I hope to add one of those outdoor warmer things when it gets cold.
asthmatic says
Thanks for thinking about smoke! When my neighbors burn wood, its sends us indoors right away so that I can continue to breathe. Also, living in an area that’s been getting blanketed in wildfire smoke annually the past few years, I think the additional exposure to smoke is no good for anyone.
anon says
We have a propane one and a regular one. The propane one is awesome because you literally turn it on and there you go. I love the ambiance of a wood-burning pit, but that’s a weekend-only activity when we have a lot of time on our hands.
Diff anon says
Same. We got a gas one because the wood one is cumbersome and we never want to deal with it. Love the ease of gas. We use many nights per week. In winter we combine it with an outdoor heater so we can enjoy time outside.
mascot says
My (admittedly handy) husband built us a square one using stacked stone and lined it with fire bricks. He had the smart idea to drop in a propane burner and run a line to a propane tank that sits off to the side. So we can do just do just gas, gas/wood, just wood. It’s the best of both worlds. We’ve used it to cook some and use it frequently in cooler weather.
Anon says
We’ve had one for a couple of years now, I think it was maybe $120 or so from a hardware store. We were not comfortable with it when kiddo was under 2, but now at 3 we have been using it as a family. Someone always has an eye on her, there is no running, she knows she needs to give it a wide berth and is very good about that (we constantly remind her) and we roast marshmallows together where she is sitting on someone’s lap or standing with someone’s arm’s around her. Key accessories include a cover (they are prone to rusting quickly) and metal roasting sticks that are dishwasher safe. A lot of them (ours included) also require sand in them, something about keeping the acidic ashes from eating out the metal base. I was surprised to see that in the instructions and it definitely necessitated a second store run.
Anonymous says
Our old house had a built-in gas fire pit (before a move for my husband’s job). It was THE BEST. We constantly talk about how much we miss it, but we don’t plan to be in this house long enough for that kind of project. The next house will be our forever home, and it will have one!
Tea/Coffee says
Wood burning firepit Here, LLBean model. Love it, we use it with the kids aaaaall the time although last summer our then-4-YO literally set the grass on fire.
Lots of smores and hot dogs on sticks and mountain pies and all the things. Also lots of drinks with adults. At first we had to remind the kids but now they just know not to be insane near the firepit.
If you plan on doing smores or other cooking, highly recommend extendable double-forked forks, we got ours from the river site. By double-forked i mean each one has two tines so that things don’t spin around and fall off.
Redux says
What would you do on a solo day-off? DH is going to watch the kids (so I will have the day out of the house, not in it), and I am calling in sick. Where would you go, what would you do?
Pogo says
If I weren’t on “last 3 weeks of pregnancy quarantine” (ie can’t go anywhere), I would pick up an iced coffee and a baked good, and head to a nice park or body of water, and read my New Yorker backlog. Also go for a long solo walk with my podcast backlog.
AnotherAnon says
First off, I’m proud of you for doing this! I’d walk to the bagel shop for some breakfast and read until I got bored. Then I’d head to Target, grab a coffee and wander around for an hour. I’d find a place for lunch (Chipotle, most likely), eat in my car – maybe you could go to the park but it’s hot AF here – then I’d get a pedicure. Depending on how I feel after, I might pop by the grocery store to surprise the family with dinner to make together OR hit the easy button and bring home frozen pizza. Enjoy!
Anon says
This is almost exactly what I’d do in non-pandemic times, but I wouldn’t do any of it now…
AnotherAnon says
That’s exactly what I was thinking to myself as I was writing it. But it’s 100 degrees outside and 50% humidity (hopefully it’s cooler where OP lives). I’m sort of at a loss as to what I’d /actually/ do on my day off if I couldn’t hang around the house all day. I like the beach idea!
GCA says
I took a vacation day yesterday (with childcare!) and went for a 3.5-hour hike, got home in time for lunch and a tall cold glass of seltzer, then spent the afternoon sitting on my bum reading, but if you need to be out of the house, I would read on the beach or in a park. Normally I’d throw in a massage, but obviously that’s off the table! What do you like to do?
Redux says
This is almost exactly what I am planning! Long nature walk in the morning, takeout lunch from a fancy lunch spot I haven’t been to in a long long time, and reading my book in the park. In normal times I would get a massage and maybe do some shopping, but not now.
SC says
I’d drive through for iced coffee and a chocolate croissant, try to find an outdoor, socially distanced yoga class, and then read on one of the bench swings in the Japanese garden part of our local botanical garden. I’ve never gotten to spend more than 2 minutes on one of those swings, and I’ve always wanted to spend a few hours there.
Alternatively, I’d take an umbrella and a chair and drive 1.5 hours to the nearest beach, then read on the beach by myself. But that’s probably actually a lot of work.
Anonymous says
Oh my gosh the beach by myself sounds like heaven!
Clementine says
Today is a solo day off (well, me and the baby… who is perfect age to just chill)! I picked up a soy latte at Starbs, spent time hanging out with the baby, then have been doing housework in a leisurely manner while watching old episodes of Outlander.
I have an appointment to handle and then am going to do some really boring sounding but satisfying tasks… things like sorting the kids’ drawers for too small clothes and taking an inventory of what we have and what they need, and filing paperwork.
Redux says
Haha, this is definitely not a day off in my book! Part of why I’m glad to be forced out of the house is so I don’t just spend the day doing chores, but I get how satisfying that is…
Anonanonanon says
Realistically, during COVID?
I’d pick up some Starbucks (because I know their pandemic setup) and find a park to drink my coffee and listen to a podcast. I’d bring a blanket so I could maybe lay in the sunshine like a cat.
I’d also bring my kindle and a hotspot so I could stream some TV shows in my car parked somewhere or at the park, if I wanted.
If there is a scenic drive near you, do that! Or the opportunity to see water. I took the afternoon off recently and drove to the western shore of the Chesapeake in Maryland (didn’t want to do the bay bridge) which was less than an hour away, and just walked to the end of a pier and stared at the water and the birds. The “beach” was closed but it was nice to see water. They had ice cream shops open, too, if that’s your thing.
If there was a new outdoor activity or hike I wanted to try with the kids but had never been there before, I’d maybe go scope it out on my own so I’d know if it was worth getting everyone dressed/packed/in the car for.
DLC says
Any ideas something to send a friend expecting her third kid? Any small things you appreciated having as new mom? My friend is having her third and I’d love to send a care package with things for her, not just for the baby. I just had a baby myself last year, but I’m just drawing a blank on what I would have liked. (Well, nice nursing bras was one, I guess). I’d love for it to be a thoughtful thing not a gift card because quite frankly she has the income to throw money at a lot of problems so sending her an UberEats gift card wouldn’t feel as thoughtful…
Anon says
My friend bought me a cozy sweatshirt after I had a baby, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. So many things didn’t fit at that time and I was sick of maternity clothes and felt run down and it was nice to have something comforting yet new to wear that reminded me of my friend. Even better if it has a logo related to an experience you shared together – name of your hometown, college, etc.
Anonymous says
Exciting snacks, a fancy new water bottle or coffee mug with lid, local coffee/tea (if she drinks those), fancy bottle of champagne to celebrate? A cozy throw blanket or a fancy robe Is always welcome.
ElisaR says
i loved the food people sent. sometimes it helps if it’s frozen but cooks up quickly so you don’t need to necessarily consume immediately. Something like frozen ravioli and frozen marinara sauce from a legit italian specialty shop.
ElisaR says
also honeybaked ham has frozen cheesecake sampler. that was a hit because…. well i prob don’t need to explain why!
Anonymous says
Food and a new, giant water bottle if she’ll be nursing. Even if she has plenty of money to order food, when you have a new baby, time is also a limiting factor. Sending food will help with that issue.
lsw says
Did you go from crib to a mattress on the floor or an actual bed? My son is four (I know, I know, but he was very attached to his crib until….yesterday for some reason) so he’s not tiny.
anon says
We went crib > removed one side and converted to toddler bed (included with crib) > queen bed when new baby was born – we billed it as a 3rd birthday gift. She is the odd child who has NEVER gotten out of her bed….she just wakes up and talks to herself.
Ours loves to choose things to buy, even online – so maybe make him part of the experience and let him pick from some bed frame options you choose? We did an ikea frame + one of those mattresses in a box. We needed her room to double as 2nd guest room since we’re far from family (LOL ask me how that is going covid…).
avocado says
A real bed should be fine at age 4. If you are worried about his falling out of bed, use a rail or a pool noodle under the fitted sheet, or get a slat roll foundation so you don’t need a box spring and the mattress is lower.
We went straight to a real bed with a low mattress and no rail at age 2y3mo because she was climbing out of the crib. No issues whatsoever. I don’t even think she ever fell out.
Anon says
DD is only 2.5 but we did crib to toddler bed with the guardrail (the crib conversion kit) a few months ago. No idea when we’ll upgrade to a double or queen bed. Her room is small and I like having more space for play, so probably not until she’s asking for one? Same as above poster, she stays in bed once she’s in it so the transition was a breeze.
Anonymous says
Why not do a twin bed if her room is small?
Anon says
When we buy her “permanent” bed I want a double so we can sit on it together and read, plus it’s the length of a real bed that bother me more than the width, anyway. The toddler bed has the long side against the wall like a crib, which leaves a nice play area in the center of the room. But a normal bed looks really weird that way, and if we set it up the normal way a twin would stick way out into the room and kill the play space. We’ll make it work when we have to, I’m just not in any rush. She’s happy in a toddler bed for now.
Anonymous says
A double (full) is the same length as a twin. If you want length, you need to go for a queen.
Anon says
I’m aware. The length of a regular bed is what’s problematic for our space, so buying a twin instead of a double as suggested wouldn’t solve the problem. Given that we will eventually have a bed that’s 75″ long, I would rather have a double so we have more space to sit in it together and read, especially because the width is not an issue for our space. That’s all I was trying to say. Anyway, my child is 2 and completely content in her toddler bed for now.
Coach Laura says
They do have extra-long twins (and sheets for them too) that are as long as a queen.
Mary Moo Cow says
Both of my kids went from crib to crib at the lowest setting at age 2-ish with a side removed at age 2-ish to a twin bed at 3. They each were very excited to big out “big kid” sheets and were very excited about the transition. My older kid never got out of bed; younger kid got out almost every night for the first 2 weeks the crib side was removed but not at all with the twin bed.
Layla says
Yes-I bought a twin mattress for my older child as an alternative to a toddler bed when my youngest was born and needed the crib. Eventually put it on a bed frame once kid was old enough. No regrets, and it worked well.
Pogo says
My 3yo went from toddler bed – which he fell out of very frequently – to a double platform that is very low to the ground. He does not fall out as far as I can tell (it’s only been a couple weeks), because he has the space to roll around in the double vs the tiny toddler bed. So obviously n of 1 but I think part of it is little kids migrate around while they’re sleeping so if falling out is a concern, maybe a bed with more real estate is actually better?
We didn’t plan it necessarily, that’s just the bed we had. It was mine from when I moved to my first apartment, but it works perfectly because it’s so low profile!
DLC says
We went crib to crib mattress on the floor. Mostly because both our kids suddenly started climbing out of the crib at 15 months so we wanted the fastest most immediate solution and then were too complacent to find a different solution for the longest time. Our 3 year old currently refuses to sleep in his toddler bed and actually sleeps on the floor on a camping pad.
Anon says
We went from crib to toddler bed (17 months when she repeatedly climbed out) to queen bed (3YO and what we had available and it seemed silly to me to buy a new bed). Kiddo is 99th percentile for height and weight though, so YMMV.
Anonymous says
Actual bed. We bought dual rails for it (doesn’t work to put it against a wall in her room with the placement of the closet, door, and window. Kiddo was adamant that she didn’t want them, so we said we’d try without and see what happened. When she had fallen out yet in 30 days, we returned them. She has randomly fallen out of bed once in the last year (about six months ago). It was way more traumatic for me than her. She didn’t even remember the next morning and pretty much didn’t believe me. And, FWIW, kiddo was almost 4 when we transitioned. So older, too.
anon says
Not sure if anyone is still reading today, but I wanted to offer some hope to parents of school-age kids. My kids’ first day of school was today and they both came home beaming and happy. Seeing all the kids in masks made me kind of sad — I have no idea how teachers will keep everyone straight — but dropoff and pickup seemed to go smoothly. If it helps anyone, this is our rough after-school routine for now:
1) Drop backpacks in laundry room (our version of the mudroom) to keep the germs out of the rest of the house.
2) Put dirty masks in the hamper immediately.
3) Wash hands and change clothes. Changing clothes is probably overkill, but it’s what we’re doing for now.
4) Everything else: outdoor time, snack, homework, etc.
Anonymous says
Thanks for sharing! That was our experience with daycare. It’s still a little weird for me to get photos with all the tiny kids in masks, but they seem to be having so much fun. I’ve been disappointed to see a lot of people (teachers especially) saying that masks and distancing eliminate all the benefits of in-person education so there’s no point in opening. There are absolutely valid public health reasons for keeping schools shut, especially in areas with higher infection rates, but it’s pretty clear to me that even with masks and distancing kids still get social and emotional benefits from being around peers (and I would imagine educational benefits at the older grades too – what kid can watch Zoom lectures for 7 hours straight!?).