Weekend & Family Friday: Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat
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I found out about this baby seat from a mom in a Facebook group I am in. This one mom posted about it and the rest of us fell like dominos and we all bought it too. I really loved this seat and was so sad when my son outgrew it. This was the first seat that my son could sit upright in — it provided good head support in the back, and because the part where the baby sits is all fabric, it cradles their bodies nicely. It’s nice to be able to finally sit them upright after the first few weeks of them viewing the world mostly on their backs. I didn’t love the toys it came with so we replaced them with ones we already owned. The whole fabric part also comes off and you can machine wash it … which is good because I nicknamed this seat the “sh*t-me-up.” I also really liked the frog version — it looks really cute in photos. The seat is $26 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime and free returns. Fisher-Price Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat
DH was in-patient for MDD and OCD for two weeks. He is stable and is “home” now and doing an intensive outpatient program. This isn’t our first time down this road, but I forgot how gut-wrenchingly hard coming home can be. He is home but with no capacity to understand that his behaviors impact those around him, no empathy and little energy. This is tough for me, but my heart is breaking for our kids. Our oldest, our son, cannot comprehend why Daddy isn’t playing with him and doing the things he used to do. He tries to engage DH and when DH doesn’t respond, shortly thereafter my son has a tantrum/explodes. Our daughter is stand-offish and hesitant to engage, which I totally get. If DH had somewhere else to go, I would push for that.
DH has had MDD since our oldest was born; our oldest is nearly eight. While there have been periods — months maybe? — of better, DH has never really been in on parenting. I’m realizing that I’ve been parenting on my own for nearly eight years, and I really haven’t had a partner during most of those times either (e.g. when I found a lump in my br#$st, I went to the doc/ultrasound by myself because he wouldn’t be a source of support). DH went off of his meds, without consulting anyone, about 18 months ago, and I was recently told that instead of tackling the MDD in therapy, he has been basically shooting the sh&t for the last year. Around the same time, he got a vasectomy even though I pled for him not to.
My resentment is boiling over, and I’m beginning to think that the fabric of our relationship has been irreparably torn. I’ve decided that I’m not going to settle for moderate improvement. I want the full deal. I want someone who wants to parent — really parent — with me. I want someone who will be a good partner and that I can depend on when times get tough (did I mention that our daughter is sick today, he is home, but unwilling to watch her?). I want to give my kids stability, and I think a single parent household would be more stable than this.
The recent thread on household tasks got me thinking. Our biggest downfall is the organizing that has to happen – finding a place for everything in our house and keeping it tidy. (Like our closets have a ton of those hanging shelves, but then the kids just shove a ton of clothes in there and we can’t find the specific pants that go with a top. Or like we pile mail and notes/ artwork from school on the kitchen counter and then important papers get lost.)
Is this something I could hire a personal organizer to come design systems for us, teach us where everything goes, and then we just maintain it? Or is that a pipe dream? I thought of it because when the kids were smaller, my mom visited and organized the bookshelves in the kids rooms. Those are still clean and nice, but all our new books are piled on top because we’ve run out of room.
I suspect one issue is we’ll need to purge a lot of stuff, but I think I’m stuck on how much I need to purge. I think I need a bigger bookshelf than the current nursery-sized one, so I wouldn’t have to get rid of so many books. But which one should I buy and what should be my criteria for keeping?
What kind of person would help me with this? And if it’s a personal organizer, how do you find those?
Last night I put on my daughter’s coat (kids’ size 10; I am 9 inches taller and 50 pounds heavier than she is) and didn’t notice for several minutes until I went to zip it up and wondered why my coat was suddenly so short. I am so freaking tired that my brain has turned to mush. I guess it’s time to stop buying her clothes that look like mine.
My daughter loved this seat! But then around 6mos I realized that she wasn’t developing those muscles to learn to sit up on her own, because the seat was doing all the work for her. We increased her tummy time and time just chilling on the floor and she quickly figured out how to sit up on her own.
We loved this seat for the period between when the kids wanted to be able to sit up and look around but weren’t quite stable enough that we felt comfortable leaving them in a sitting position without being right there in case they fell over.
When do you stop attributing being absentminded and forgetful to Mom Brain and start wondering if your body is out of whack. I feel like I’m to that point and am wondering about my physical and mental health. My yearly physical appointment is one month from today. Wondering if I should try to get in sooner. Any thoughts on how long Mom Brain is a thing and how much it should impact my day to day activities? Thanks!
I know this has been touched on before, but how do you deal with judgy co-workers who resent your flex schedule? I have a chronic illness, two little kids in daycare, and an elderly mother who lives in my town. Due to doctor’s appointments and sick days for all of the above, plus vacation days (travel to see family, plus kid’s events), I’m basically never in the office anything near 40 hours. Many weeks I’m only there 20-25 hours. But I work a lot at home (including sometimes on weekends and evenings when DH is taking care of the kids) and feel like I’m as productive as I’ve ever been. My boss is really great and doesn’t really care about facetime as long as my work is getting done, which it is. But my (mostly childless) co-workers seem super resentful and are always making comments about how I’m never in the office. Any advice?
I couldn’t agree more about bfing and mom brain. I didn’t feel like myself until I weaned and morning and night helped a ton.
Chiming in a few days late to say I really enjoyed reading about everyone’s upbringing and backgrounds on the working mom post. My mom was a SAHM ever since I was born, and I don’t have a good role model for working mothers (besides my peers) now that I am pregnant with my first.
My mother is also creating some problems in our relationship because she has NO clue of what it takes to be a working mom (or working human for that matter). She lives a fairly charmed existence where I would classify her as one of the “ladies who lunch”. I do know she struggled with limited emotional support from my dad when I was a child, but I still feel we can’t relate to each other.
As an example, when I was in high school, she decided she wanted to re-enter the workforce, which I thought was fantastic. She got a job working in the high school cafeteria and quit after ONE DAY because she thought it was “too hard”. It was really embarrassing and I truly don’t think she understands my desire to work.
So thank you to all of you for sharing your experiences and demonstrating all the different scenarios that make families work! It certainly is taking a burden off my shoulders as I prepare to re-enter the workforce after my baby is born.
when did you start baby on solids? Ped said start at 4 months but baby doesn’t look ready to me, and making baby food is such a PIA I want to delay to 5-6 months.
Also, has anyone had experience with baby food delivery services, such as nurture life? Debating whether makes sense to do that or try to hire someone to make baby food or make it myself
Just in case anyone is still reading, there is absolutely a recommendation to start allergens as early as possible, which is why many peds now encourage babies to start solids at 4 months rather than 6 months.