Makeup & Beauty Monday: Sensor Mirror Pro

Give me your double stroller recs please (or steer me away from something you hate)! Here’s our circumstances — I have an almost 2.5 year old and six-week old. I was going to attempt to avoid the double stroller situation all together by baby wearing and pushing the toddler but that’s not working out in practice. We live in a city where we drive to just about all our locations, so stroller will be primarily used on walks around the neighborhood on asphalt or paved sidewalks, around city center, malls, resorts/theme parks (lots of conferences). We are tall. Husband doesn’t love the idea of a side-by-side when we tested because they are so wide. I have an SUV so ample trunk room for a bulky fold. I don’t enjoy spending money on this stuff but there’s room in the budget for the higher end strollers if it’s worth it. TIA!

Did anyone read the discussion in the weekend thread about the mom in Biglaw and conflicts between work and childcare? One of the takeaways that I got was that the culture of constant availability is very ingrained in Biglaw and other “Big” jobs and that it’s really hard for one person, even a person in a position of leadership, to change this. That got me thinking, as I may have an opportunity to step into a more senior position at my own corporation soon – how do I change the culture here so that it is less of an “old boys network” that encourages and values putting work first and more about achieving a balance? I feel like it’s only those who play the game well who succeed here, and once they get to the top, do they have an incentive to change? Have any of you used your positions of leadership to actually make changes in your organizations?

Looking for a shampoo for 10 y.o. who has thick hair and produces a lot of sebum. We’ve tried a few shampoos for oily hair but freshly washed hair still looks a little matted down and greasy.

At an indoor playground + cafe over the weekend, another mom confronted me as I was loading my kids into the car to tell me that my 2 year old had grabbed her one year old’s shirt, and caused her to fall and bonk her head. I kind of blinked at her, waiting for the point of the story. When I didn’t fill the silence with an apology, she continued that she’d watched my son, “since [she] didn’t know who he belonged to,” and saw him being a little bit rough with other kids too. “As a mom,” she would want to know if her kid was playing like that, so she when saw me leaving with him and figured out who his parent was, she wanted to make sure she told me. I don’t think I rolled my eyes, but I did say that I was sorry she thinks my 2 year old is a bully, causing her to gawp at me and huff back inside.

As a mom, frankly, I could not care less if my 2 year old is jostling another toddler for shared toys. I’m 98% sure my son had no intention of pulling the little girl to the ground, it just doesn’t take much to tip a one year old. This sounds like pretty normal behavior. If my older kid were shoving toddlers out of the way, I’d want to hear about it, but another toddler? Please. My gut reaction is that this is a mom of one one year old, and probably a SAHM. I’m not adding the SAHM bit to be snarky, I just figure that my kids have been knocked down approximately 500 times in daycare, because that’s what happens when kids are together. But maybe I’m a jerk? Should I care about this? Am I being irresponsible by availing myself of the coffee and comfy chairs at the play place instead of following my kids around as a referee?

I just got around to reading Thursday’s post and just wanted to throw some support at you! I also have twins, who are now 3, and am a lowish earner too (MCOL city, make about $55K). We have paid my entire salary, a little less than half of our entire HHI, in day care costs since they were 4 months old and it gets demoralizing! I really love my job and don’t want to leave it, and likely won’t be getting huge raises in the future (government)… But to get myself through, I think about a) retirement contributions, b) minimal but existent salary growth, which I wouldn’t have if I was at home, and c) that honestly I don’t think I’d be a great SAHM. It wouldn’t give me the same discrete accomplishments I have at work and I think I need those. But solidarity, paying for child care for multiples is awful. Even my other friends who have kids close in age only have to “overlap” day care costs for a year or two.. the way that their birthdays play out, we are going to double-pay until they’re at least 4.5, maybe 5.5. I’m just telling myself how flush we’ll seem once kindergarten rolls around!

How do you feel about giving a child 4 names (i.e. two middle names)? I want our kid to have my maiden name as a middle, but we’re also considering a normal first name as a middle name, so it would be First Middle Maiden Last. Will this get annoying for him? Thanks!

First time mom (3 weeks into this parenting thing) – does maternity leave get any less difficult? I knew that newborns take up all of your time, I guess I just didn’t realize that the time they take up is so extremely physical and monotonous. I’m use to challenging mental work in a biglaw practice, but not anything physical and nothing that’s this repetitive (our baby was also born very small for his gestational age, so every feeding is me attempting to nurse, then supplementing with a bottle of pumped breast milk, then pumping to make enough breast milk for the next feeding. It usually takes about 1.5 hours to get all of this done, so even being on a longer 3 hour cycle only leaves 1.5 hours to sit/nap/eat/shower/whatever). I feel like my brain is turning to mush between the sleep deprivation and the lack of mental stimulation. I’m listening to audiobooks or podcasts while nursing, but also feeling a lot like “you need to eat *again*? didn’t we just feed you?” I definitely think PPD is creeping up so I’m making an appointment with my OBGYN to talk and likely see a counselor. It’s just a lot at the moment.