Budget Thursday: Seamed V-Neck Sheath Dress

I’ve always hated the name Dressbarn, and I’ve found the quality of their clothes kind of similar to New York and Company, or something like that. Still, I think they’re getting a lot more conservative choices right (as long as you avoid the patterns, which are often still hideous). There can be some really great finds there, like this dress that looks like a good choice for a conservative office. It’s hand wash or dry clean and available in 4–16. It’s only $59.50, but there are often codes that can bring it down even further. Seamed V-Neck Sheath Dress

Here’s a very similar option in sizes 14W-24W.

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  1. rakma says:

    I’m wearing Dressbarn pants right now. Hate the name, but I’ve found them to have a reasonably priced selection of plus-size clothes in-store, so I can actually try them on. It’s the only place I successfully bought clothes for that ‘I have to go back to work and I won’t be this size forever, but I’ll be d*mned if I’m wearing maternity pants after having a baby’ phase.

    I also found it to be a good place to pick up a couple of dresses when I was in that shower/wedding every weekend phase.

    • +1. Perfect for returning-to-work-but-still-look-pregnant stage, and also good quality/price point for shower dresses when you have 5 showers in the same friend group in one summer. But ohhhhh how I wish they’d change the name. Being known as good for “bigger” (aka majority) clothes and then insinuating your clients are cows…. not a great plan. Although it must not hurt them too much, they seem to be thriving.

      • I always interpreted the barn part to be more of a warehouse as in “lots of stuff at bargain prices,” and not so much about cows. Agree that it’s an awful name though.

        • CPA Lady says:

          Like how Pottery Barn is a veritable cornucopia of pottery!

          I have no clue how they came up with that name. Did they used to sell pottery?

    • Dress Barn is my go-to store for summer work dresses, so I’m shocked by Kat’s scorn. As a 14/16, I also like that if the 16 is too tight I can hop across the aisle and grab *the same exact dress* in the plus size section.

  2. Blueberry says:

    OK, thanks for the recommendations the other day to wear a belly band to manage my suits for longer while pregnant. Follow-up question: If I’m wearing dark pants and a light top, should I buy a dark band on the theory that it will look better against my pants in case it is visible? I can’t tell how low down they go, but I’m thinking if I buy a white one in order to make sure it doesn’t show under my shirt, it will end up looking like I have a weird untucked tank top underneath. Thoughts?

  3. Anon in NYC says:

    Sleep question. For the past several weeks my daughter (2) has been waking up in the middle of the night (usually around 4 or 5 am, but last night it was 2 am). Upon waking up, she immediately stands up and starts screaming for us. Like, full hysterics. She won’t calm down unless and until you pick her up. We’ve tried waiting for a few minutes before going in but it just escalates. But then we’re stuck either having her lay on us in the glider or bringing her into our bed, because the second we try to disentangle ourselves from her, she freaks out.

    She doesn’t do this during naps and otherwise has no problem going to bed at night.

    Any suggestions / tips? We don’t have the space for a bed in her room. At first I was thinking that we needed to make her room darker (and we might still do that), but given the 2 am wakeup, I don’t think it’s necessarily a brightness issue.

    • So I don’t have much advice on this one, only commiseration. DD1 did this, starting at 2, and though it stopped being an every night thing, it is only now that she’s about 3.5 that it seems to be ending.

      I found the quickest way to get her back to sleep was to pick her up, get into a bed with her (we were using the guest room for a while, then moved her to a full-sized bed after DD2 was born) without really talking. She needed comforting and the reassurance that someone would come for her if she needed.

      Some things that helped: Special nightlights (Supermax the turtle is a favorite, and it turns off after 45 minutes) Suggesting if she wakes up she hug a lovie and roll over to get ‘comfy’, huge amounts of praise after she ‘slept all night in her own bed’! (Even if someone ended up sleeping with her). We also realized that she can’t wear fleece pjs, even in the dead of winter, she just sleeps too hot and would wake up uncomfortable.

      • Anon in NYC says:

        Thanks. I like the idea of a special night light! She understands a lot, so maybe we’ll try the idea of hugging her stuffed animal. I do think the comforting/reassurance aspect is a big part of it. During her normal waking hours she will often asked to be picked up and hugged if something startles her (or for all manner of other things). Last night she woke up at 2am, came into our bed, and promptly fell asleep, so I think she just wanted to be close to us.

        This is sort of a crazy idea, but do you think moving her to a bed rather than her crib would help or hurt? I sort of think that her being able to get up in the middle of the night and play in her room would help… but then I also think that that is an insane idea.

        • The move to a bed from a crib didn’t really change this for us. She went from crib to crib converted to a toddler bed around 2, and then to the full bed at about 3. She has never once gotten out of bed in the middle of the night. She only recently starting getting out of bed herself in the morning (she used to just call for us in the morning. Coming in to cuddle in bed with me at 6:30 is so much preferable to her yelling MAMA at 6:30)

          On the other hand, when my niece moved to a toddler bed, she started getting into her parent’s bed when she woke up in the middle of the night. They now barely wake up when she comes in, just help her up, roll over and go back to sleep (which makes it hard to stop the habit!) So this is really dependent on how your kid decides to handle it.

  4. Anonymom says:

    My 19 month old has been getting his knee stuck in the slats of his crib. The main problem with this is that I’m afraid it’s going to really hurt him (right now I think it just scares him, but I fear he could twist the wrong way and injure his little leg).

    A secondary problem is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night, or too early in the morning (we go get him at 7:00), he normally falls back asleep on his own or plays happily until we come get him. But when his leg is stuck, we have to intervene. If it’s night, once we’re in there, it’s a long process to put him back to bed. If it’s morning, he’s just up for the day– there’s no putting him back in to play happily once he has seen us.

    Is there a solution to this? We’ve had crib bumpers in the past, but he steps on them and squishes them down to where they are not really a barrier and would not keep his leg from getting stuck. I am not opposed to transitioning to a toddler bed but feel like it’s too early for that. (We are, however, expecting Baby #2 around his second birthday, and I’d love to give this crib to New Baby and put him in a toddler bed at that time, if possible.) Is there something else I could do?

    • A sleepsack might prevent his knee from wiggling into the space between the slats.

      • Anonymom says:

        Thank you– we swaddled him as a newborn, then transitioned to sleepsack, and now just pajamas. Do you think it would be any kind of regression to put him back in a sleepsack? I guess it probably doesn’t matter– I never considered a sleepsack because I thought he “outgrew” them, but maybe not after all.

        • The early walker sleep sacks were really helpful here-I felt like they hobbled my kid enough they couldn’t climb well.

        • Katarina says:

          We used regular sleepsacks with my first until 2, and my second is still using one at 17 months. They both have no problem walking in them. It has not prevented my younger one from repeatedly getting his leg stuck between the crib slats, however. That problem did resolve itself on its own, though.

      • We tried a sleep sack for this exact purpose (albeit an under-1 kid) and he still got stuck . Just had to wait it out till he figured out how to not get stuck.

    • We used crib liners (unpadded) in this situation. We pulled them taught and tied them really tight, and we had to retie every few nights when they got loose. DS seemed to grow out of it within a few months.

    • We used it as an excuse to transition to a twin bed (with a big railing to essentially make it a bigger crib). We were like you – the crib liner things were useless because they stood on them and squished them down. My first transitioned at 18 months when she climbed out of the crib every night, even with the mattress all the way on the floor. My second transitioned at 20 months after he got his legs stuck 5 nights in a row.

      Both took a couple weeks of transition to their new beds, with nightlights and sound machines, but otherwise it was a smoother transition than I anticipated.

    • FTMinFL says:

      We also transitioned to a twin bed (mattress + boxspring on the floor with a side rail) at 18 months and little guy didn’t bat an eye. If you’re going to make some kind of transition anyway, it might not be a bad idea to do the big transition and be done!

  5. ifiknew says:

    Thanks for all your comments on one child vs multiple yesterday. Not OP, but was so good to read all the comments, because we had our 1st a month ago and are in the newborn trenches. While we are so grateful to have a healthy, (mostly happy) baby, it’s been SO much more demanding and challenging than I anticipated, even with a lot of help. Both morning sickness and this time period is making me feel like we’re “1 and done”, though I always wanted a big family and planned to have multiple kids.

    I know we don’t need to decide now, but just curious, for those that do have multiples or plan to, apart from a playmate, what other reasons did you consider to have two or more? How did you decide between 2 or 3 or 4 kids?

    • I find with my one child, my husband and I literally give him dual 100% attention at all times when we are home. He’s only 14 months old so this seems okay for now, but honestly don’t think it’s good for him long term. I think if we have a second he will need to learn to share and to deal with not being the center of everyone’s universe at all times, which I think is an important skill to develop. That said, I have an only child cousin who is great, well adjusted and has lots of friends. So I certainly don’t think siblings are necessary.

      I also want my son to have a full life, and I guess since I grew up with a sibling, I feel like the sibling relationship is a unique experience that I want him to have if we can.

      • I was the OP yesterday, and your comment is really interesting to me. My son is 16 months, and we do the exact same thing. It’s really nice right now to have 30-90 minutes to spend with my husband and my son. I agree it is fine for now, but I also absolutely agree that this probably isn’t a healthy situation for my son as he grows.

      • Anonymous says:

        I think my comment got eaten, but as an only child, I sort of felt the opposite – that in families with 2+ kids the focus was on the kids (at least as a unit, if not individually) while my parents basically maintained their pre-kid lives and I was just along for the ride. Our vacations, dinner conversations, calendar, etc. didn’t revolve around me the way many of my friends’ families revolved around the kids. And now that I have many friends with kids, I’ve seen that from the parental perspective and I really believe the second kid does result in much more attention to the kids, even if not necessarily more individual attention. Also, some of it might just be parenting style, but I was expected to play or read solo in the afternoons and evenings for my entire childhood. We had dinner as a family most nights and I’m not saying we never played a board game or went to get ice cream or something in the evenings, but my parents were not mostly entertaining me when we were all at home.

        • This thread is really interesting – DH will say that in his family (with 6 kids), the kids were left to entertain themselves once they got past the demanding toddler stage. And in my family (2 kids but 4 adults as my grandparents lived with us), the focus was on us kids.

          I think it’s possible to strike a healthy balance – I really don’t want to or expect to be up in my future teenagers’ business all the time! Already I feel like my 2yo is at a point where he can basically entertain himself for brief periods while I do chores and other stuff, but I do want to spend some dedicated time with him occasionally because I enjoy his company more and more as he gets older.

        • Anonymous says:

          My memories of evenings as a kid were of my parents doing various crafts and the three of us kids either reading or playing. My parents were introverted than trip taking, but they still took (or taught) classes at the community college. I know plenty of parents of singletons who completely erase their lives for their kid.

    • We have two and are done. It was hard for us to imagine family life without more than one kid, but that’s just us. DH is an only child and that factored into our decision as well. We are super happy with our family of four and can’t imagine it any other way. We experienced secondary infertility after conceiving my oldest without trouble — and that only cemented our feeling that we weren’t done after one.

      As far as why we stopped at two? Even though my fantasy life includes a big, bustling family, I know in my heart that having more would stretch us beyond our limits and capacity. We’re not cut out for it and we know it. Our lives feel busy and full already. We feel really good about what we can give our two kids, in terms of time and attention and resources, and I’m not sure we could do that with more. I’m also not a very relaxed parent and I’m an introvert, so that factors in as well. Most of the families I know with 3+ kids have super easygoing parents who love lots of activity and bustle. That’s not us.

      • We’re 2 and done as well. My only child DH was adamant we wouldn’t have only one. We cannot handle more than two. One of the commenters yesterday talked about 2 as man-to-man but 3 as zone defense, and that’s exactly right. We are great at man-to-man. We would be awful at zone. We’re relaxed parents who love lots of activity, but that’s another factor why we only want 2. It’s so much easier to pack up two kids and go on a trip or go to a restaurant or invite friends over. For us, that would be exponentially harder with 3.

    • We previously wanted two. After a terrible labor with my first I declared myself 1 and done. Then around the 6 month point he was so fun and cute and awesome that we decided we wanted more. We currently have two, 2 years apart and are planning on having 2 more (assuming all goes to plan as I age). Why? We’ve decided we want to plan our family based on how we want our thanksgiving table to look, not on how hard the early years are (physical time, money, etc.). For both of us, this means a big family (and my husband and I are on the same page, otherwise the number might be different).

      Once you get past the sleep deprivation, we really love having kids around, and want our house to be bustling with lots of kids. My husband has one sister, and once his mom passed, the family seemed so small. And they rarely get together. We also enjoy baby/newborns more than most, so this phase doesn’t scare us off. Add into that that we both have well paying but flexible careers that can ebb and flow with what we need. When we’re being funny about it, we joke that we are bound to screw up one of them, so at least we will have three “good ones”.

      So I guess there are a lot of reasons why for us. Even though my second is getting to an easier age now, and it’s been tempting to say we’re done, I can’t imagine not having more.

      • See this is my issue. I had a textbook pregnancy and baby but labor and delivery was horrifying. I just don’t think I can put myself through that again.

        • For whatever help it may be, my second labor was amazing. As compared to my first, which was horrible. Apparently having your first be 9lbs 4oz with a 98% head circumference makes subsequent labors a walk in the park.

        • Rainbow Hair says:

          I am one-and-done partially because I don’t want to deliver another kid, but may I gently encourage you to look into EMDR to deal with the birth trauma? It was pretty amazing for me to be able to say, “wow, that sucked and was scary” instead of feeling viscerally horrified about it every time I thought of it. My *goal* was to have “I don’t want to do labor again” not factor at all into the decision to have another kid, and honestly I’m not there, but I am glad that I can think about it with a bit more perspective. (Gosh I hope this isn’t overstepping!)

    • anon for this says:

      We have two biological kids and are in the process of adopting a third. We are financially able to have 3 kids and I really want a little girl and we have two boys. Adoption has also been something both my husband and I have wanted to do and we talked about it early on when we were dating. We are adopting from our native country, so there’s a cultural tie as well. I like the advice of how would you like your Thanksgiving table to look like 20 years from now? For us we want a big family around the table. Both my husband and I are one of two kids and two just seems a little small to me.

    • Spirograph says:

      I always wanted 3-4. Husband has always wanted at least 2. As I mentioned yesterday, DH and I need sleep and a break from babies after 3 in 4 years. We have space in our house and our budget, but we’re just ready for things to stay easier for a while. He’s probably going to get a vasectomy this year. It’s always reversible if we change our minds. We’re also open to adopting an older child later on, but it’s something we still need to learn a lot more about. For now, 3 and done.

    • Anonymous says:

      I posted yesterday about my 2 being 2 years apart and my 3rd and last coming 5 years after the second kid. When we first started having kids I was set on 4, 2 years apart, so being pregnant every other year for 8 years. I had textbook pregnancies all three times and relatively easy deliveries. But first kid was a fussy baby who could not be put down and did not sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch until almost one and a half, and was unsleeptrainable. Finally started sleeping and I got pregnant again, on purpose, because we definitely wanted 2 and DH was over 40 when we started. But, then second kid had some health issues and just generally has a weaker immune system than first kid, so was always sick for the first 2 years. So basically for 4 years DH and I didn’t sleep…and when I don’t sleep, what I’ve learned is that I get mean. And our marriage suffered, a lot. (There was possibly some undiagnosed postpartum depression or anxiety that I see in hindsight, and which might have been treatable, but too late now!)

      I still wanted more kids in theory but when I was honest with myself I was so scared of losing my marriage that I thought I should just take my 2 healthy kids and be happy with my family. DH would have been happy with a 3rd but as he was already mid-40s he was absolutely happy to be done.

      But, our surprise 3rd has been such an amazing blessing for our family (I posted here when I was newly pregnant and TERRIFIED of what it would do to my marriage). Different gender (yay!) and completely opposite personality and behavior from the first. Sleeps better, so easygoing and flexible, and just generally a happy, easy baby. Plus, with the benefit of being older, wiser, and understanding what happened the first years after a baby, I prioritize my sleep over pretty much anything else, and that keeps me literally sane, which keeps the marriage happy.

      Now DH finally got that vasectomy so we are really done!

    • Having a second took the pressure off of us, the adults. Our first would not play by herself, not even for a minute, because there was always one adult who could give her attention…All The Time. Having a second was such a relief, because now they play together, and DH and I can both get stuff done. Older daughter now has someone to go to her room with her to get something when she hates going alone.

      Also, you’re in the trenches, it’s very hard to envision the future beyond this evening.

      It’s not like you have to decide right this minute! I wouldn’t even think about it for a year. Or three.

  6. Any tips on keeping an infant who does not like his car seat happy on a long drive?

    I have an 11 week old and will be making a 4-5 hr drive tomorrow (along with husband and 4 yo, so I’ll have help). I’m guessing we just have to deal with the inevitable screaming, but if anyone has any tips I’m all ears! This is a new experience for us, as our older kid has always loved car rides. Thanks!

    • AwayEmily says:

      My baby also did not like the carseat…she grew out of it when she was a little over a year old. Do you use a pacifier? Could you start? That was the only thing that consistently calmed her down.

    • Make sure your infant is a comfortable temperature, the sun isn’t in his or her eyes, etc. We did a 4-hour drive when Kiddo was around 10 weeks old, and we had to stop to feed him twice (he normally ate every 2-3 hours, so this was more than usual), which of course made the trip take longer. I’m the “Don’t drink anything so you don’t have to stop to pee” type on road trips, so having a baby in the car was an adjustment for me.

      • AwayEmily says:

        Oh yeah, lots of snacks (I just used some pumped milk so we didn’t have to stop). She didn’t actually eat all that much but the distraction helped, I think. It was very messy, though. Bring burpcloths.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      11 weeks is really little. I’ve done long car trips with a kiddo just under a year, and it helps to have an adult in the back to entertain/pass snacks/find the pacifier after kiddo drops it on the floor/adjust the temperature, etc. But at 11 weeks, you might just be at the mercy of sleep.

      Consider a sunshade that protects baby from the sun coming in any rear windshield, and a mirror so you can see baby. Put the pacifier on a clip so it doesn’t fall on the floor. Have some bottles ready for an adult to feed baby while driving. Hope for sleep.

    • Momata says:

      I say this so gently and with the utmost respect for your decisionmaking capacity as a mother. But do all four of you need to make this trip? 11 weeks is really small and there isn’t much that can be done to distract or entertain such a small baby. My first child hated her carseat and screamed and we just didn’t make those kinds of trips. I don’t see a way around it.

    • Thanks, all! Good tips. I do plan to sit in the back with the kids, so I will be able to help with a paci and/or bottle. Unfortunately we have to make this trip–believe me, I’d avoid it if I could!

      • NewMomAnon says:

        I found flying with an 11 week old to be much easier than driving – if that’s a possibility for the two of you, consider it. Really, babies at that age want to nurse, flirt for a few minutes, and sleep on someone’s chest, which is much easier in an airplane than a car.

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      I think you’ll be fine. Def. ride in the back with baby if at all possible. Maybe take turns doing it? I was going to say “be prepared to stop every 2 hours to feed/change” but that’s only 2-3 stops! You’ve got this! Def. look into a pacifier. Maybe also a thing that plays annoying music? We had this toy that had a button (I had to push the button of course) and it played Twinkle Twinkle at a really annoying pitch — stopped Kiddo from crying though!

    • Blueberry says:

      It may be too late for this, but I wonder if you could buy sound-cancelling headphones for the older kid? I once drove 5 hours with an infant who screamed at the top of his lungs for about 4 of them. Luckily there was nobody else in the car, because I think this would have driven my older kid to tears. (Not saying it didn’t drive me to tears…) This is pretty much the worst case scenario though.

    • mascot says:

      Can you feed baby right before you get into the car? Our first road trip at 6-ish weeks was a disaster because I didn’t do that and we havd to stop 1 hour into our 5 hour drive. Also, if you are nursing, bring a hand pump so you can pump as needed. Also on that trip, I forgot this but by then baby was asleep and we didn’t dare stop because we were trying to make up time. We had one of those mirrors that lit up and maybe played a song which provided a bit of a distraction. Headphones for the older kid are also a good idea. For stops, we’ve had good luck with rest areas/parks/play places so everyone can get out of the car and stretch.

      • – Feed baby right before, and try to time the travel to get the most out of baby’s sleep patterns – if you can get a 2-3 hour stretch of sleep, that will make everything easier.

        – Buy a mirror so driver can see baby, but more importantly so baby can see driver. I had no idea that second part was so essential to a good drive, but it’s true.

        – Headphones or even better, an ipad with headphones, for the older one. You dont want to deal with two stressed out kids.

        – Stop every two hours unless baby is sleeping. As soon as baby wakes up, stop. Find McDonalds or ChikFilA with a play place so older one can run around and baby has something interesting to look at.

        – Sit in the back, right next to the car seat, if you can. I once rode for 3 hours hunched over the car seat (but buckled in) with my cheek on baby’s cheek so she would stay calm. I had the WORST pain in my back, but still better than screaming.

    • Ugh my kid was a car screamer (now, at 6 months, has mostly grown out of it). Does kiddo like looking at themselves in a mirror? Once my daughter figured out that the parent mirror mounted on the head rest was actually that fun toy that has the other baby trapped in it–car rides became infinitely better. But 4-5 hours is a long time. Having a parent in the backseat definitely helps–we did a similar trip when she was 8 weeks old and that was how we survived. Not sure if that’s feasible with the 4 year old.

      Beware of feeding baby more than 2-3 oz when strapped in. Mine couldn’t burp and was SCREAMING until we could pull off the highway and take her out, at which point she made a burp that sounded like an adult man

    • I recommend driving overnight if you can – if you leave right around bedtime you may be lucky with the baby sleeping most of the way, depending on your baby’s patterns. Of course you will be exhausted the next day, so this works best if you have childcare waiting at your destination (e.g., grandparents). We made a 10-12 hour trip when my son was 8 weeks old or so, being clueless first time parents. Leaving at bedtime did allow us to get a chunk of the trip done when he was asleep. We couldn’t successfully feed him in the carseat – he wouldn’t take a bottle in the seat, and the car seat slump also really agravated his reflux so tons of spitting up. So once he woke up our progress slowed dramatically. I’m still slightly traumatized – it seemed like such a good idea at the time. 4-5 hours sounds much more manageable!

    • Anonymous says:

      Not sure what your car seat situation is, but we used the Cybex with the seat belt over ours and every trip involved crying. On a long trip we used the base so she was just in her five point harness and it was so much better! Being able to move her legs made a huge difference. So just make sure all straps are adjusted to the right size!

    • Just wanted to come back and say thanks for all the tips. With no stops the drive is only 3.5 hrs (the four to five –really, probably 5–includes planned stops). We will be able to do most of the suggestions –except fly, which would be so much easier, I agree–so thanks! Luckily (?) my older kid does not give AF when baby cries but I like the suggestion of noise canceling headphones, which we have and which I had not thought of bringing. Y’all are awesome, thanks.

    • eh230 says:

      It might be too late, but have you considered switching babe to a convertible car seat? Both my kids hated the bucket seat and would cry on even short car trips. As soon as a I switched them to a convertible (around 12 weeks or so), they were much happier!

  7. Weekend trip with baby? says:

    We may get invited to our friends’ vacation home for the weekend (depending if their cousin and wife can make it). There will be adults and teenage kids. No beach, just beautiful woods and outdoor activities. We have a 9 month old baby who hates being in the car seat for long. It is a 3-4 hour drive, so we would have to leave early Saturday and return late Sunday (back to work on Monday). I am debating whether we should go or not. Baby likes his daily predictable schedule and I am afraid he will be fussy and exhausted. We just came back from an international trip and let me tell you he did not adjust at all and we were all sleep deprived. Am I crazy by thinking not to go? I just don’t want him to have a meltdown there..

    • Blueberry says:

      Can you time the trip for his first nap of the day and the trip home on his second half of the day? That way, fingers crossed, he won’t be awake for more than half the ride? I hereby absolve you of any guilt or FOMO, but having taken a couple lovely long weekend trips like this with a baby who was very unhappy about the carseat situation, I don’t regret any of them. Caveat that if you need the weekend to rest yourself, maybe don’t go, because this doesn’t sound particularly restful.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      I don’t think you’re crazy for not wanting to go (or wanting to go!). It’s so hard to travel with not-newborns. My daughter has always struggled to sleep in unfamiliar places, and there is a certain amount of gritting our teeth and just getting through it that we’ve endured to go to friends houses or on trips. Vacations have not been particularly relaxing since about 9 months onward.

    • You’re not crazy. Sometimes you just need to stay home. This could go either way but I don’t think this is an obvious GO situation. That is a lot of driving for 1 night even if you don’t have a baby.

    • Stay home. Sometimes, it’s just too hard and that’s OK.

      • LOL we didn’t go far too often because of this. Once they were toddlers it got easier. But we fly if the drive is over 7 hours.

    • AwayEmily says:

      I would probably also skip it — sounds overly stressful for less than 48 hours. What about if in order to “make up” for the trip you’re missing, you + baby + partner plan on doing something extra fun over the weekend…go explore some nearby park you haven’t been to, or wander around a museum. We were supposed to go on a similar vacation a couple of weeks ago (Sat – Sun) and ended up canceling because we couldn’t find a hotel room with a separate area for the baby and we didn’t want to sit in the dark with her from 7pm onwards. Instead, we ended up staying home for the weekend, but taking a trip to a beautiful park a half hour away that I never would have gone to otherwise (I asked for advice on a local parents listserv). We had a fantastic adventure that did not interfere with any of the baby’s naps but also was not just sitting at home all weekend/going to the same three playgrounds we always do.

  8. Venting–family vacation with the in-laws. 4 kids under 5. Everyone is passive aggressively on the edge of killing each other. I just want to go back to work. I am working today (“from home”), so am getting a bit of a break. Being around bratty cousins brings out the worst in my kids…and my husband. Sharing a room with my children is not a vacation. 3 more days…

    • Ugh, you need wine. Can y’all go to dinner with just your immediate family?! Sounds like you need it! Sorry :(

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      You are describing my near future. I also predict that some work stuff “I really have to deal with” will come up, necessitating my disappearing to a coffee shop for a few hours…

  9. Anon for this says:

    Did you all see the news articles about the parents arrested in a bar with their baby? As you dig deeper, there was some bad stuff there like mom offering sex for beer and chaining the baby stroller outside with the baby still in it. Yes, that is neglect. Also, the two parents were legally intoxicated. However, I had to dig to get that info. The original reports made it sound like mom and dad brought baby to a bar, were each drinking, and mom breastfed while having a drink. It would be pretty scary if that alone was cause for the police and CPS to be called! Another article said the baby was checked out at a hospital and had no liqour in him and no signs of neglect. Last I knew, it wasn’t illegal to be intoxicated with a baby, so long as baby’s needs were met. If they had walked to the bar and the baby wasn’t getting any tainted breast milk it doesn’t sound so bad to me. I worry that was the case initially and the later articles only mention sex for beer and chaining the baby outside to justify their gross over reaction.

    • Anonymous says:

      “The original reports made it sound like mom and dad brought baby to a bar, were each drinking, and mom breastfed while having a drink. It would be pretty scary if that alone was cause for the police and CPS to be called!”
      Drinking WHILE breastfeeding sounds like valid reason to call CPS to me, especially if it’s a newborn. You can pump & dump or wait a little while for the alcohol to get absorbed (and of course you can formula feed), but breastfeeding while consuming alcohol is dangerous for the child.

      • Sarabeth says:

        I realize this is kind of old, but that statement is false. The amount of alcohol in breastmilk is small enough that it is not a danger. See this research review: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bcpt.12149/abstract
        Relevant line from the abstract: “even in a theoretical case of binge drinking, the children would not be subjected to clinically relevant amounts of alcohol.”
        Drinking to the point of no longer being capable of safely caring for an infant is a much more significant concern.

  10. Looking for commiseration. Do your kids have certain toys that they love but that just seem to cause problems? Kiddo received some play-doh for his birthday, and he LOVES it. But every time we get it out, he’s pretty whiny about it not doing what he wants, begs us to help him over and over, and throws a tantrum when it’s time to transition to something else. It’s just not a pleasant experience for us parents at all. I keep the play-doh “away,” which keeps him from asking for it about half the time. And I think, maybe as he plays with it more, he’ll get better at making the simple shapes he wants (balls, shapes, roll it out flat). But part of me wants to just put it in the closet for another 6 months.

    • Momata says:

      Yes. Kid’s grandparents got her a cozy cab (thanks for the giant hunk of plastic in my living room!). 2yo kid loved it but was so distressed by the fact that the wheels are on a full swivel and are therefore rarely “straight” that she threw a frustrated tantrum every time she played with it. We put it away for several months until she was ready to handle that aspect of the toy.

    • mascot says:

      Mine is called the Minecraft Kindle App. It’s the devil.

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      UGH yes we have this too. I’m trying to recall which toys they have been but it’s so infinitely frustrating.

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