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I like this pretty and easy to wear maternity dress from H&M. It looks feminine without being over-the-top frilly.
My preference is for the black with the colorful bouquets scattered around, but I also like how the website styled the light pink version, with a white denim jacket and white sneakers (though not those particular items shown — I’m not that trendy).
The dress is $29.99 and available in sizes XS–XXL. Ruffled Dress
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
EB says
Does anyone have lunya pyjamas? They have been slowly wearing me down on instagram and I am going to pull the trigger one day. But man, it $$$$ for pyjamas.
Anon says
I do. I have had the whole restore set for the past 1.5 years (pants, shorts, 2 types of tanks, long sleeve). I’m a big fan to be honest. I feel like I’ve tried the whole aerie (horrible piling) Victoria’s Secret (bad stretching out) sets etc etc and I haven’t gotten any of that with the Lunya. I also think finding PJ sets that are functional and attractive is very hard, and these fit both bills. Finally, they work in a way that if we share a vacation house with others I feel totally comfortable wearing them around in the morning. The pants you can honestly wear as daytime lounge pants.
I wish the current blue had been available when I got mine. So pretty!
They are pricey. I asked for the set for my birthday from my husband and my parents when they asked what I wanted. But I would spend the money knowing what I know.
Anon says
I should add, I only air dry my Lunyas whereas I put my other aeries etc in the dryer. I guess $$$ is a big motivator for me to take better care of my things, lol.
Anon says
I do. I fell for the hype and while I like them, I don’t feel like it was really worth it? They are less sweaty than some pjs but not necessarily less than some good cotton ones. They look okay on, but they aren’t as cute/effortless as the ads make them look. And they are always SO WRINKLY. Like, to make them look how they do on instagram you would have to iron your pjs and who has time for that??
Anon says
Interesting. I’m the poster above with the restore line, and mine are never wrinkly. Must be a difference in the line/material.
Preparing for Virtual Learning says
My school district has decided upon virtual learning. I am brainstorming how to set up an area for my child. I do not have experience with virtual learning as my child will be entering kindergarten. So far, I was considering a 24″ high desk or table, appropriately sized chair, and headphones with microphone. What else do I need? The school will provide a computer. I may have limited options on5 year old sized furniture. I know Ikea is out for those options I like but have not completed an exhaustive search yet.
Anon says
There is a Lifetime brand table available online that is adjustable height and starts at 24′ tall.
Cb says
I suspect you’ll end up having to do quite a lot of sitting alongside her, so think about what is comfortable for you as well. Maybe it makes sense to have you both at a larger table, and her on a stool or the Stokke high chair for the right height? Then you can work while troubleshooting.
Anonymous says
A dry erase or similar board was helpful for writing words or letters. We had a small one for tabletop use, not a big wall one. Keep in mind your child needs to move, so while my daughter worked at our kid size art table, she did online stuff at the dinner table and in on a couch. Finally, realize you or another adult will be sitting next to her A LOT to get anything done, and plan your own seating.
Tea/Coffee says
I would maybe get the headphones, but hold off on using them, unless you know for sure that your 5YO can navigate and stay on task. My 9YO can do both, and uses big over-the-ear headphones, highly recommend. But we won’t start the 5YO on them until he can be trusted to pay attention and navigate without help.
I am working with my PTA to get a small whiteboard to every kid in the school. I have heard from parents, kids and teachers that such a tool would be really useful, but only if everyone had one (or some kind of equivalent).
We’ve stocked up on printer paper and ink, and fun pencils for the kids.
Possibly some of the composition books that have a few big lines at the bottom and a blank space on each page for drawing (my kid loves these)?
I am also increasing my stash of appropriate books … beginner level readers for the 5YO and anything I can get my hands on for the 9YO (lol).
If you are setting up a specific “school space,” a whiteboard or corkboard for schedule, important info, etc?
(Insert vice of choice) for parents.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not what you asked but I just can’t wrap my head around how kindergarten can be done all virtually. Any chance you can get a pod of a few other kids so that you can trade off both the supervising with other parents, and to actually get these kids to learn the point of kindergarten, which IMO is to be around other kids… Doesn’t have to be everyday, but just a few days.
As for workspace, yes, I’d expect your kid to want to move around frequently, so a place with many “stations” is probably ideal.
AnotherAnon says
I ordered a Melissa and Doug desk (with chair) from Target when quarantine started (six years ago, it seems like) and I would 100% recommend it. I think it was $85. It’s real wood. It’s a little tall for my guy, but he’s three.
Anonymous says
I have an incoming first grader, so did the kindergarten remote thing last year.
It will depend on what virtual leaning looks like. For us, it wasn’t great. It was a prerecorded “morning message,” a couple of activities/worksheets, some reading time via various apps, and some optional learning activities. Once a week the kids had 1:1
Time with the teacher and once a week they had some kind of social thing- a small group of 3-4 kids reading aloud on zoom or the entire class just doing a chat/checkin. They used the “SeeSaw” platform.
I would say you need a good/trusty printer and paper, some crayons/markers, a device on which to read (you may find kiddo prefers to read books on a tablet vs the laptop). We got a kindle fire for kids and my child used that as her e-reader.
If your child cannot read (mine started K as a non reader but was reading before things shut down), you are going to have to do a lot of work to help them understand instructions and how to navigate the online platform. Other posters are correct that you’ll want an adult to be able to sit comfortably next to the student.
Anon says
Prepping for my incoming K and 2nd grader, this is what I’ve over-bought.
– Lap desks (they’ll work at the dining room table but if we need to spread out, this gives options. They’re like $15 on Amazon and collapse down if we don’t use them.)
– Bins from Target as storage for all the school supplies (paper, construction paper, markers, crayons, scissors, dry erase markers, pencils and erasers, every glue stick known to man, etc). We set them on a bench in our dining room for easy access.
– Paper trays for any printed worksheets and then all the completed work/ artwork
– Headphones for each kid (they’ll each get a Chromebook from school)
– Mini white board for each
– Clear plastic pockets from the dollar spot at Target. Turns printed paper into a dry erase sheet.
– Water bottles so they don’t get up 900 times to get a drink. (They’ll need these if we ever go in person so might as well start the habit now.)
– Plus plus blocks in a hard plastic pencil case. A surprising amount of work for my 1st grader last spring involved building blocks/ manipulatives. The Plus Plus come in a tube of 250, don’t take up a ton of space, and worked for every prompt she got. And we didn’t have to spend 30 minutes searching for “100 of something to use as counters” or “build a rainbow out of household items.”
Other than that, everything else will be unique to the classroom so I’ll get it once we get more info on what we need.
anne-on says
I really liked this desk (which we bought after about 3 weeks of trying to use the dining room table). I think having their ‘own’ desk (and the ability to store papers in the drawer/put them away at night) was great.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077S261NW/ref=dp_cerb_1
I have not been able to get my son to reliably wear headphones, but the soft headband ones were the kind he keeps on the longest.
Io says
IKEA has a great adjustable height desk for kids. I would get that if I was setting up a learning space for a younger kid.
Anne says
We had my preschooler at a table on a chair but most kids were on couches or the floor where they could move around more so YMMV with a desk. She/her may need to wiggle more than they can in a chair.
OP says
Thank you for all the suggestions! I am not looking forward to the challenges of this fall, but hopefully some advanced planning will help my child be more excited and MAYBE come away from the experience still excited about learning. Whether learning happens, we shall see..
Anon4this says
I’m in a state that has handled Covid pretty well (not as well as NYC, but in the next tier I would say). Our cases are still increasing a little bit but measures are being taken to try and keep it under control. We’ve had some limited reopening and there is enforcement so business that violate the regulations are getting cited, fined and then for a second violation shut down. Its not perfect but its pretty good. In my specific local, there is reasonably good mask compliance among adults and kids, and while folks are socializing more now it tends to be outside and some precautions are in place. Yet, schools are not open and daycare is very hit or miss. Because of our state’s regulations and because my parents live in the south, I can’t travel to see my parents and they can’t come to us. My inlaws are in state that is doing reasonably well so they have been able to come once. I haven’t seen my dad who is medically fragile since December. My extended family lives overseas so I know it will be a long time before I see them. Life on a day to day basis is fine. There are irritations – food is still frequently out of stock where I am, I currently can’t get my preferred brand of diapers in the size I need anywhere. Nothing in particular is wrong, its just sad. Its going to be like this for a long time — probably another year. What are people’s thoughts on when life will be reasonably normal? Like reliably groceries? Being able to see family in the US (driving not flying)? School for my kiddo? I’m hoping by Fall 2021 – is that reasonable? I know no one knows but what do people think? I really need an “end point” to keep this manageable.
Anonymous says
What food isn’t in stock? I think you could quarantine two weeks and drive and see your dad now.
Anonymous says
In VA, we are still having supply issues with flour, meat, cleaning supplies, paper goods, and packaged foods.
Anon says
+1 to the quarantine and visit – we are alternating visits every 2 weeks with my inlaws (local and high risk because of age (70s and 80s) and weight) and my parents (2-3 hour drive and high risk because of age (60s), weight and cancer treatment) and then we just otherwise stay quarantined full time ourselves (WFH, grocery delivery or curbside pickup, no outside the home activities, no social visits other than zoom or the occasional chat with a neighbor at the end of the driveway while we are on the porch, etc.). That is the balance of risk we are willing to take and feels mostly sustainable for now.
Anon4this says
My parents are 9 hours drive with no stops so with our toddler probably 12 hours? There are no direct flights and toddler puts everything in her mouth so I don’t think flying is an option to see my medically fragile dad.
Anon says
I’ve driven 12 hours to see family during this. It’s not fun, but it was worth it for us. And I don’t think a toddler would extend the drive time by that much. You stop for bathroom breaks and drive-through food and nothing else, so having a toddler really doesn’t add to the total trip time. Kindly, if your dad is medically fragile, I’m not sure it’s ever going to be safe to fly to see him. I just read an article on CNN that essentially said elderly people should plan to never fly again, because this virus is going to be with us forever (though hopefully not at the level of infection we have currently). My elderly parents are definitely not taking that advice to heart, but if your dad’s health is that precarious, you may need to accept that flying to him is unlikely to ever be completely safe. The article also said flying first class is much safer than flying coach, if that’s a financial option for you.
Anon says
If you do it overnight with a toddler and two drivers it’s doable! We did a 9 hour drive with my then 2YO last year. The way down was about 10.5 hours with stops during daytime (we got a good 4 hour chunk leaving super early). The way back we did an overnight due to hurricane evacuation orders and I think we just stopped twice for gas and to switch drivers and it was the normal 9 hours. Just know that at the end, the drivers will be exhausted but the toddler will have slept the whole time and be at peak energy….
Anon says
We did a 19 hour drive with 5, 3 and 1 year olds and it really wasn’t that bad. Twice (there and back). We didn’t stop much and kids were troopers! You’d be surprised!
Anon4this says
I can’t do 5 weeks with no childcare and do my job where I work 50 hours a week (2 weeks quarantine means no child care, then a week of vacation and 2 more weeks on return with no childcare as required by my state). And yes, I currently can’t get flour, sugar, diapers, frozen foods, paper towels on a reliable basis in my area. Like I have to try grocery delivery through the supermarket, instacart, prime, target and amazon fresh and possibly an in person grocery run to get everything.
Anon says
Can you get tested without symptoms in your area? I would feel comfortable visiting my elderly parents if I had tested negative, especially if I had been isolated for a few days before getting the negative test.
Anon4this says
Yes, but that would only reduce it to three weeks from five. My state still requires quarantine for 14 days upon return from the state where my father lives so that would leave us without childcare for 2 weeks. I don’t have 3 weeks of vacation.
Anon says
Could your parents come to you? What exactly do the quarantine rules say? I suspect they have an exception for essential things, and childcare is considered essential in many states. Of course you should be upfront with any nanny or babysitter about where you’ve been, but there are lots of people who would not have a problem nannying for someone who had recently done a driving visit to family members, if they took precautions while traveling and stayed isolated while there.
Anonymous says
You need to just go to the store in person. There is food there.
Anon4this says
Respectfully, in my area there is not consistently. I went yesterday. I went to the Safeway in my area. There was no bread, no flour, no sugar, no diapers, no paper towels or napkins. Plenty of TP. Plenty of meat and dairy and fruit/vegetables. I’d prefer not to go in person, but I do go if online options strike out. I wear a mask and I know its low risk.
Anonymous says
Not everywhere. Just got back from an in-person trip in the Midwest. Tons of empty shelves.
HSAL says
Yeah, I went to the store this morning (Midwest major city) and it was weird – no granulated sugar, no frozen veggies, and limited canned fruits and bread. Plenty of food (and tp) to be sure, but it was the emptiest I’ve seen it since probably April or early May. Maybe a fluke? But I definitely believe it’s still an issue some places.
Pogo says
It’s definitely inconsistent and sometimes requires multiple stores. It’s so weird what is in stock one shopping trip and not the next or vice versa. Last time we needed more hand soap the ENTIRE section was empty. But, there was sanitizer. And TP.
Best advice for the OP in this situation is to post on a local group of some kind (parents/moms or neighborhood) and ask if anyone has seen X recently at the store you’re planning to go to. This is very common in my area and people will respond quickly saying where they’ve seen X in stock if not at the store you’re planning to go to.
NYCer says
What brand of diapers are you looking for? More out of curiosity than anything. We use Huggies, and had a very hard time back in March/early April, but Amazon has been well stocked ever since (i.e., available via Prime for next day delivery). I know that this isn’t what you originally asked, and I know that lots of people tend to be loyal to a particular brand of diapers, but given everything that is going on in the world, you could consider trying a different brand that is more readily available. Might be one less thing to worry about!
costco says
Costco has been great on diapers, too – although packaging is a little big if you are stockpiling, the availability hasn’t been an issue since March/April. They’ll also be on sale 8/5.
Anon says
In the early days, we couldn’t find Pampers anywhere for pickup or delivery, so we switched to Seventh Generation diapers and we really love them!
Anon4this says
Huggies Little Snugglers. I can get other types of Huggies(which is what I did). I had stocked up in May after all diapers had been hard to find everywhere and hadn’t had a problem until mid-last month. Other sizes are available just not the size for my kiddo. Like I said none of this is a huge deal, its just sad and exhausting. I don’t need completely normal I just need reliable food in stores (there is enough food – no one is going without – but I’d like to be able to more easily purchase what I want, have reliable school/childcare, and infection /spread rates low enough that I don’t have to quarantine when I visit other states). Is that reasonable for Fall 2021?
Anon says
I think one of the hardest points of this is that there’s no endpoint. Really, no one knows. Also, it really depends on your individual risk tolerance. People are flying now. No one will ever give you “permission” to fly. There will just come a time at which you decide the benefits outweigh the risks. It may be now, it may be in a year, it may be never.
Personally, I am relatively optimistic about a vaccine being approved this winter and rolled out widely next spring and summer. That said, I don’t think the vaccine will end this quickly. It’s likely to be 70-80% effective, but if only 50% of the population gets it, we’re a long way from herd immunity. (Also “herd immunity” doesn’t mean pandemic over. It means the virus starts to burn itself out naturally, but it can infect many more people before it disappears completely. If herd immunity kicks in at 70%, probably over 90% of people would need to get infected/vaccinated before its gone).
Personally, once I’ve been vaccinated, I’m going to travel again. I don’t want to avoid it forever, and once I’ve been vaccinated I will have done my part for myself and for the public health. I am not responsible for the fact that a large segment of this country is crazy and anti-vaccine.
I also think it will very gradual. I expect masks to be part of our lives for years, if not forever. I’m not sure i will ever go to a concert again. But travel is important to me and is not something I’m going to give up indefinitely.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is where I’m at too – what is my risk tolerance? I think we’re past the point of eradicating this virus from the U.S., so we’ll just have to live with it and take as many precautions as we can while still continuing to live life and all of the other risks it entails. Of course I am aware that I can say this as a reasonably healthy person with healthy kids and youngish parents who are not too at risk from this. Your situation may vary. I will get a vaccine once one is available and will get my kids one.
The ages of my kids means that we wouldn’t have traveled much anyway either this year or in the next year or so. I expect that we’ll look into flying again when the youngest is closer to 3.5/4, which is not next summer but the one after, so I hope we’re in a better place by then. In person school is very important to me and I’m going to have consider options if my older kid is not able to start kindergarten in person next year (I doubt this will be the case but we’ll see). I think we’ll be leaning toward some sort of private option at that point.
As for masks, I’ll keep wearing them to the grocery stores and other places with lots of people, particularly indoors. I imagine they’ll be more in use during the winter time going forward, but will likely not be required in the summer outdoors, or in small groups. But I’ll continue to wear it if it means that my kids can go to in-person school.
Anon says
I have a bit of a different perspective in that I think risk tolerance is impacted by where you live geographically and your state government. If I lived in NY where there seems to be a sound approach to this virus I think the activities I’d be willing to engage in would be different than if I lived in FL, TX, GA, etc (and I do live in one of these places). I also have young kids who touch everything, put their hands in their mouths and won’t keep a mask on, so even though some people are flying, given that the only place I’d be flying to would be to visit grandparents, it doesn’t seem like the best move, especially since one set lives in a state in which we would have to quarantine upon arrival. I am hopeful that a year from now due to a combination of some level of herd immunity (there seems to be new evidence we might need fewer people than we thought), vaccine & more knowledge/better treatment, things can be a bit more more normal. we need the national rate to be more like the current NY rate.
Anon says
We resumed driving visits with family as soon as the stay-at-home orders were lifted in May (we quarantine for 2 weeks beforehand if the people we’re visiting are elderly). We expect to fly (to visit family) next summer, assuming the situation isn’t dramatically worse. Food shortages aren’t a problem in my area, so I can’t speak to that. School is the part of this that really worries me, because it’s entirely out of my control and our society seems cool with keeping kids home forever so we can go to bars and gyms. A good friend is a doctor with kids who are supposed to start K in fall 2022 and she told me she’s expecting it to be virtual. That freaked me out, especially since my kid is only one year behind that. But a lot can change in 2-3 years. Even if we don’t have major advances in treatment or a vaccine, there could be huge advances in testing that get this much more under control. I really think rapid, affordable testing that allows people to be tested at home every other day will be a game-changer, although I would have hoped we’d have had it sooner. It’s disappointing that we’re 7 months into this and haven’t really made much progress on testing.
Anon says
i think a lot will depend on who wins in November
Anon says
People keep saying that, but I really think the problem here is essentially that the US is 50 small countries and our citizens have a basically unlimited right to travel between them. I’m definitely voting for Biden, but I’m not sure how he’s going to get red state governors or red state citizens to handle this responsibly. Governors have too much autonomy for the federal government to do much good here, I think, and travel restrictions between US states are basically unenforceable.
Anon says
we likely would have had another national shutdown already if we had a different president. a national mask mandate. or there would have been national guidance for data based reopening instead of the hot mess that it is.
Anon says
The federal government can’t enforce a national shutdown or a national mask mandate, and red state governors and residents would rebel to anything like that, especially from a Democratic administration. And more shutdowns is not the way out of this. If people immediately resume their pre-pandemic behavior (which we now know they do), shutdowns just hurt the economy without solving the problem. Even Fauci recognizes this, and says shutdowns have to be more targeted.
Anonymous says
Yes. The lack of a national response has crippled the US. My best hope, if democracy holds, is May 2021 things start to shift into a tolerable new normal. 2 months to line up the infrastructure and roll it out, 2 months to implement it. The plan better already be developed by January. I think it will be.
Anon says
I’m not sure I would say NYC handled the pandemic well…they have a higher per capita infection and death rate than anywhere else in the US. Some minority neighborhoods have 70%+ of people testing positive for Covid antibodies. No other part of the country has seen anywhere near that level of infection.
Anonymous says
I think she means right now– I’m in NYC and things are pretty decent here right now, around 200-300 new cases a day which is very little compared to the population, and the vast majority of people are taking this seriously and being careful but still living their lives to some extent. It’s very very different from what things were like in March and April.
Anon says
yes, i meant NY right now (obviously not at the beginning when things were beyond out of control there), where the positive test rate is less than 1%, rather than the 12+% in my state. I also trust the government in NY to take necessary measures to get it back under control if there are spikes. whereas where I live, the local government has been pleading with the governor to allow them to add some additional measures, but he won’t budge. The chances of me being exposed to Covid in my area are much higher now than currently in NY
Anonymous says
Yeah but that is partly because it arrived in the US in NYC before there was any testing available, and partly because NYC has much greater population density than other parts of the country that had early infections. Recent research has shown that it was circulating widely in NYC in February. So it had a month to blow up before things shut down. I agree that in hindsight, we should have shut down a week earlier, but there have been a lot of good decisions made since. The case count today is less than 4 cases per 100,000 people, and the positive test rate is hovering between 1-2%. New York City has also been very slow to reopen – indoor dining, bars, gyms, theaters, and museums have never reopened; most people are still working from home; and mask compliance is very high compared to other parts of the US.
Ifiknew says
I’ve been thinking fall 2021 but who knows. This is depressing if we’re virtual school in 2022 like pediatrician notes above
Anon says
Anyone else have experience with sudden hair loss? In the last two weeks my hair has been coming out on big clumps. FWIW my youngest just turned one. I’m still nursing him at morning and night but discontinued nursing during the day about a month ago. I had some typical post partum hair loss after my first kid and him but this feels way more dramatic than that. Any thoughts?
Mathy says
Me! Caveat that I just had a baby this winter and I am still pumping/nursing for daytime, but it’s been way worse this time around than it was with my first.
I had a physical this morning. Doctor said it’s likely the standard postpartum hair loss exacerbated by stress from returning to work and The World Right Now. She isn’t concerned but said if it doesn’t let up in the next few months to return for bloodwork.
Party Animal says
DS just turned 2. He naps great (2-3 hours) in his crib at home and never tries to get out. However, he is refusing to nap at my parents’ apartment. He typically spends a day at their place every weekend and has a blast, but comes home over-tired and crabby. He realized a few months ago that he could climb out of their pack and play and has refused to nap since. They’ve tried one of those pop-up tents that covers the pack and play (which terrified him) and the kind of cot he uses very successfully to nap at daycare. They have limited space, and typically try to set him up for a nap in their guest room, where they have a queen sized bed and some office stuff. I think the problem might be two-fold- 1) that he sees their home as a “fun only” kind of place, and 2) that he knows his toys are in the guest room where he’s trying to nap. He’s very good-natured and eager to please, but is a party animal. My folks want him to spend the night, but I don’t think that’s a good idea until he naps successfully there. I’m concerned about my parents caving and bringing him into the bed- my husband and I strongly want to avoid setting this precedent with him. Any suggestions? Maybe one of those foldable travel cribs would feel more like his crib at home?
Anon says
is there a space he can nap that is not the guest room with his toys? a bathroom, your parents’ bedroom, a closet? if you really really want him to get a nap, is he the type of kid who would fall asleep in the car, so could your parents go on a drive around nap time? when he climbs out of the pack n play do they continuously put him back in, or they just let him out to play? i also think night sleep is different from day sleep. my 2 year old twins have been having trouble with napping lately, but seem to be ok at night. also, how verbal is he? one of my twins recently became much more verbal and explaining things to her is starting to work better. you could let him try to spend the night once and if it is a disaster, then hold off another 6 months until you try again.
Anon. says
Night sleep is different from napping. If we had waited until he could reliably nap at Grandma’s for him to spend the night, it would have never happened…. My guy naps pretty well at daycare but terribly at home and not at all at Grandma’s. But he sleeps like a rock through the night at Grandma’s house because he’s exhausted.
And in terms of setting a precedent, we have been very clear that some things that happen at Grandma’s house are special and specific to Grandma’s house. Therefore no precedents can be set there that apply to your house.
mascot says
It sounds like grandparents are capable of keeping him safe and willing to chance that he might not sleep great for them. I’d let them go for the overnight, even if it isn’t perfect. I wouldn’t worry to much about the grandparent precedent. My parents have always had a few special routines or treats that they do for my child and he has understood since he was little that those are “grandparent’s house only”
Anon says
+1
Anonanonanon says
Hi everyone! I posted a while ago about pursuing part-time law school in addition to my full-time job. Well, I was accepted and start next week. Feels insane, but no time like the present, I suppose! Wish me luck!
Anonymommy says
Good luck! Actually seems like a good time- less social obligations right now.
Anonanonanon says
Exactly. I was considering deferring because my job is very busy with the pandemic. But, classes are online, so I get a semester without the commute to school, we weren’t going to travel or do much of anything anyway, kids don’t have activities this fall (all canceled), so it’s actually a good opportunity to ease into this lifestyle change, I think.
Fortunately, I got a good merit scholarship so it is basically free, we’re investing in “childcare and a half” (day plus evening help) and my husband is very supportive of me doing this right now. The increased childcare costs are going to make things a bit tight but, again, no gym membership, no rent the runway, no eyelash extensions, no hair appointments, no dinners out, etc. right now regardless thanks to COVID.
Honestly, he’s a much better person than I am, I would be secretly annoyed and slightly bitter if he was doing this right now and he is genuinely just so proud of me.
Return to work (from home) says
Any tips on bottle introduction when our nanny starts next month? Baby will be 5.5 months and has so far refused to take a bottle from her dad (to be fair, we have been extremely lazy about trying, what with pandemic and caring for our older child). We’ve tried both types of bottles that we already had (avent and comotomo), plus a nuk sippy cup which she seemed to like somewhat better. I will be WFH but prefer to pump and have the nanny bottle feed rather than bring baby to me to nurse, so that my schedule isn’t beholden to baby’s and to minimize caregiver transitions. Should we do some sort of gradual intro, where nanny has her for 3-4 hours and offers a bottle, or do we just go straight to 7 hours and let baby be hungry if she refuses the bottle? We’re also planning to start offering cereal mixed with breastmilk soon, which could be an option to get baby some calories without a bottle.
Our nanny is awesome but has less baby experience than the magical daycare teachers who had our older child (also a bottle refuser) happily taking a bottle within a week, so I want to have a good gameplan going in, for everyone’s sake. What have others done that has worked?
On a related note, any thoughts on over-the-ear headphones vs earbuds for noise canceling? I am kind of dreading hearing my baby cry while trying to work and want to invest in something high quality that will be comfortable all day, pair easily with my iPhone and Dell laptop, and has a decent microphone for calls. Looking at AirPod pros and the Bose over-the-ear model.
Anonanonanon says
No bottle tips, but I’m in the market for good noise-canceling headphones as well so will be following that!
I’m looking at over the ear, but noticed some listings called “around the ear” which is a difference I had never really thought about. For noise canceling, I think I’m leaning towards “around the ear”, and expect I’m less likely to have sore ears from it as well! Most models I’ve seen are advertising the ability to be connected to two things at once, such as a tablet and a cell phone, so you can easily switch back and forth, so that seems relatively standard these days.
Clementine says
Assuming you don’t have a lipase issue, I would vote for ‘go Comotomo and let the baby figure it out.’
My oldest would take a bottle, but the way I used to explain it is… you know how when you’re at a coffee shop they say, ‘If you wait a couple minutes, I’ve got a fresh pot coming out.’ To which you reply, ‘I’ll wait, thanks.’ Yeah, he was willing to wait to get a fresh ‘pot’.
Anon. says
I played almost exactly this same game about 2 months ago. Here’s what worked for us: my child is stubborn, but she gets it from me and I am more stubborn. There was some crying, but after two mornings in a row, she gave in and took the bottle. We introduced the bottle for the first feeding of the day when I knew she would be most hungry and therefore most inclined to eat despite the unfamiliar delivery.
My Bose over the ear headphones have been great. I already owned a pair so only had to buy the Bluetooth mic adapter. But the noise cancelling when paired with music meant that I didn’t hear baby (or big brother) crying when she was with the nanny. Otherwise I sat up in my office playing games of “is that crying or happy yelling” which was very hard to differentiate without context.
Anon says
It may not be easy. Babies can be very determined. Mine took a couple days at daycare to accept the bottle. It caused me huge anxiety. It was fine after the initial couple of days at daycare.
Google it though, and you’ll see this is a super common issue with hundreds of comments in various online forums. People try everything and something eventually works if you don’t give up.
AwayEmily says
I am one of those people! I posted here about two years ago when I went on my first business trip away from my bottle-refusing baby. Short answer: it all worked out. Long answer: I called my pediatrician and she was SUPER reassuring (so I definitely recommend doing that if it would help to hear a professional tell you that your baby won’t starve herself). I also left my husband with like 5 different types of bottles and (importantly) nipples. Turned out the baby really wanted a faster flow nipple, and after some grumpiness that solved the problem. For other babies the answer might be a swing, or a different temp of milk, or whatever. Leave the nanny with a whole menu of options to try and crank up those headphones.
Anne says
So this sounds weird but have the non-breastfeeding parent (i.e. dad or other mom) give the baby a bottle when the baby is in a bouncy seat or swing and the breastfeeding parent is out of the house. I have no clue why not being held works but it has worked for many of my friends when all else failed.
Quail says
Same thing happened to me -leave/ pandemic WFH led to not introducing bottle as consistently . After asking the same question here and getting similar advice – the only thing that worked was letting her cry and be hungry with the nanny until she took the bottle. I did nurse her at night, I think, as ped was worried about her weight. After 2 days she cracked.
We also tried faster flow nipples as I have a fast letdown, which helped. And although I spent $$$ on every breast- mimicking bottle on Amazon (it felt like) she only likes the Evenflo 4-for-3.99 from the drugstore. Go figure.
Anonymous says
Posting here for mom input. I’m in my early 30s and can’t have children. I have a group of 10 friends from high school – 7 have young kids, 3 of us don’t. We live all over the country and primarily keep in touch via a text and monthly calls.
About 6 months ago our text group became significantly less active – we used to text every day and the group was being used maybe 1x/week. I’ve learned that the drop off is because the the moms formed their own mom sub group, which is actually more active than our group used to be.
I totally get wanting a separate group for the moms – we have other similar sub groups (like one for the doctors, etc). But I’m kind of offended that they use it exclusively. It feels like the rest of are not worth being friends with because we don’t have kids.
I could use a temperature check on whether this is “normal”for newer moms. If this is a normal phase that will pass I’m inclined to let it go (we’ve been friends for many years). If it’s not I would probably bring it up.
Thoughts?
Spirograph says
About 6 months ago, your mom friends started living the craziness that is pandemic parenting. I hate echo chambers as much as the next person, but the way parents and non-parents have had to change their lives in the last 6 months is apples and oranges. They probably have zero time and energy, plus I know I just CANNOT right now with non-parents talking their boredom, isolation, new hobbies, etc (I’m not saying you would do this, it’s a generalization), and I bet they feel similarly. You probably don’t want to listen to all the moms gripe about their childcare being closed, schools being virtual, kids having mental health problems because of lack of access to peer groups, etc. And trust me, anything you say in response to that other than “wow, that sounds really hard, I’m sorry” will be wrong, so you don’t want to go there.
I’m sorry your group text has fallen off. But yes, this is normal. You are living in different worlds. Keep texting, be happy if people respond, but please do not try to shame your parent friends right now for needing their own safe space to talk about the particular stress that is parenting. That’s why this c-moms s1te exists, and why a lot of us don’t read the main s1te very often anymore.
Anon says
+1.
Anon says
i have a few questions – how many other subgroups are there and people in those subgroups? do your friends know that you cannot have kids? i feel like when kids are younger, there are a lot of kid things to discuss as people are figuring things out – sleep schedules, type of bottle, type of cup, issues with daycare, etc. and maybe the ones who are parents think that the other ones would be annoyed to receive those kinds of texts especially if they were frequent? how would you (and the others who don’t have kids) feel about receiving those kinds of texts? would it make you happy to feel included, would it make you feel bad since you can’t offer your experience with what to do when your kid develops some strange habit, etc.? would you be annoyed that a lot of texts are about kid stuff? i think how you would feel about all of those things depends on whether or not you should let it go. i will say that my 3 closest friends are all in the medical field and all had kids before me. there was one visit when we all got together when i felt like all they talked about was medical and kids stuff – which makes sense since that was what was going on in their lives, but it was a hard visit for me bc i felt like i had nothing to contribute to the conversation.
Party Animal says
I’d err on the side of giving them the benefit of the doubt. Do you know how much of their conversation is kid-related vs. not kid-related? When I was a new mom, I was really self-conscious about not wanting to bombard my non-mom friends with kid-related stuff. I doubt they’re trying to exclude you, but I get why it feels that way.
anon says
I don’t know if this is “normal” for newer moms, but it makes sense to me during the pandemic. Most moms are home with their kids all the time now. They’re either doing childcare full-time or trying to juggle WFH while caring for children. There’s not as much “adult” space left in our lives, especially since there’s nowhere fun to go, there are no babysitters and date nights, etc. I would not expect non-parents to be interested in the endless conversations on school decisions, how to work from home while handling kids, anxiety over socialization and pods and health and everything else. (To get an idea of what their moms-only text group probably looks like, scroll through last week’s posts on this s*te.) And yet, it’s hard to think or talk about anything else.
To be honest, I’ve stopped texting with most of my mom friends. Everyone is overwhelmed and exhausted, and nobody has the answers, and the conversations are basically all the same.
Anonanonanon says
You make a really great point here. My communication with EVERYONE has fallen off, but it’s hard to have things to talk about with mom-friends right now because there is not a lot to talk about other than the hell that is pandemic parenting (and, as mentioned above, there are very few correct responses to that)
We can’t go try a new restaurant together. I haven’t tried a new one I can recommend. We can’t go to a museum together. I don’t have time to read books or watch new tv shows or keep up with most current events. We are not going to have anything to talk about right now that won’t make us both feel like the other one just doesn’t understand. I’ll seem not sympathetic to the boredom and loneliness of their quarantine experience, and they’ll seem clueless to how hard it is to be a parent right now.
Anonymous says
I have literally not had a conversation with anyone in the past two months that has not turned into a discussion of school reopenings within the first five minutes.
Anon says
Yes this. Especially at the beginning of all this, I struggled with coworkers complaining about how bored they were. I was at my wits end trying to balance schoolwork and paying work and housework (omg the DISHES now that we eat every single meal at home!!), so I had to be careful with my words around those who were begging for MORE virtual happy hours.
But I know a few coworkers with young kids struggled talking with me, because it was even harder to deal with babies and toddlers and their constant need for attention – at least my elementary age kids could watch a movie and give me 90 minutes to work.
And now I’m not texting so much a panic-vomiting with local parents about our school district options and ideas on how to entertain the kids and organization things to buy to try to corral this pigsty we call a house. I’m not interesting to talk to anymore, even to myself, so I’m certainly not eager to have long conversations with my childless friends. I’m so overcome with jealousy (grass isn’t greener, but I’m not rational right now) that it’s not going to be a fun convo.
tl;dr It’s not you, it’s most definitely them. And the pandemic. And this patriarchal society that makes everything 50 times harder for women.
anon says
My communication with friends also has dropped off. We realized we were hashing the same anxieties and worries over and over and over again.
anon says
This sucks and I completely understand why you feel hurt and disappointed. I also highly doubt your friends started the mom group as a way to exclude you and others, or to indicate that you’re not worth talking to. They probably didn’t want to bore you with the details of pandemic parenting. But, I really get where you’re coming from. I do think it’s possible to bring it up in a lighthearted way on the main thread. (Hey friends! I miss hearing from you! How’s everyone doing this week? No topic’s off the table!)
anon says
yes! agree with all of this.
DLC says
+1. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt and reach out in an open way. I’m sure there was nothing malicious about it. It might have started one day when someone sent a text that said, “Had to share- I just dropped a whole bottle of pumped milk and I want to cry…” I value hearing from my friends without kids- they give me perspective and are great listeners. Everyone is different and has different bandwidths for nurturing friendships these days. I think approaching everything with some measure of grace is never wrong.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with Spirograph re: Covid exacerbating this but I’ve found that as a mom of young kids, all I talk about with my close friends now (who also all have small kids) is our kids. Granted I don’t have a group of 10 close friends from high school who are all living varied lives, it’s more about 3-4 close friends from law school right now, but I’ve lost touch with some other friends who aren’t in the same life stage as I am. I just relate so much more to people who are in the same boat as me now, and little kids are all consuming so I guess I don’t have much else to say to non-parent friends that we can both relate to. This isn’t to say that you are less worthy of friendship, of course not, it’s just that right now, you’re not going to get constant updates from these parents who really want to feel a sense of connection in the difficulties that is parenting small kids. I imagine this may change when the kids are a little older and the parents get more time to themselves, but right now, they just can’t. And maybe you won’t ever be as close and you’ll make other friends, and that’s ok too.
Anon says
This makes me so sad. OP, I can’t have kids either. I started reading this site when I was trying, going through interventions and all that. I actually love reading the commentary here and still read. I don’t usually reply because I understand as a non-mom I can’t really relate.
However, and no offense to you, Boston Legal Eagle, it makes me so sad that my friends who did have kids now can’t relate to me. They had years and years of their lives without kids. They had interests. Are they no longer individuals and just moms? These women work, we can talk about work. They watch TV, we can talk about shows. They exercise, cook food. We can talk about that. And actually, I do enjoy hearing about their kids, the good and the bad, because I care about their children.
I have been reading all of my town’s FB posts about what is going to happen to the schools because I care. I’m a citizen of this town and the pandemic impacts all of us.
OP, I’m sorry you are being excluded. I would be hurt too. A time will come though when those friends will need someone who can drop everything and be there for them and you will be the one that they call. I was appreciative when this happened to me but my husband found it insulting that our friend didn’t make time for us outside of her kids until she suddenly had an emergency and needed someone with free time to bail her out. I was still glad to do it.
Anon says
Quite frankly, no, most of us no longer have any interests or individual hobbies because we’re all working two full-time jobs and feeling completely terrible at both of them. This is a really extraordinary time. I will also say that even in normal times, my kid is a huge part of my life. I’m still an individual with non-kid hobbies and interests, but my kid is now far and away my #1 interest. And in my experience, childless people don’t want to hear much about kids beyond a simple “hey how are the kids?” “Great!” So it can be hard to stay connected when my #1 interest is something you don’t share. It’s not a slight, it’s just diverging interests.
Anon says
I meant in non-pandemic times. No one has time for anyone right now in pandemic times!
Clementine says
Yeah, that’s some people’s experience. I would say that more than half of my friends are child free (by choice). Looking at my texts, about half my messages have something to do with kids and the other half don’t? And it’s split between my ‘friend with kids’ and ‘friends with no kids’.
What my other texts are about: work, workouts and new workouts we’re trying, whether we would ever consider/have considered using a matchmaker (based on Indian Matchmaker).
Admittedly I have two friends in particular who are kind of jerks about me having kids. As in, they openly talk to each other about how horrible it is and how lucky they are to not have ‘cr*tch goblins’. And I’ll admit… my communication with them has fallen off. But that’s also because they’re just kind of… jerks? Unrelated to child having.
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah, I have an 8 month old and about half of my friends have kids and half don’t as well. Same basic breakdown. It might be because I had my baby at 36. I had a lot of my life on the childless side of things and when my other friends started having kids earlier than me I worked really hard to talk to them about their kids to show I was still interested and now make a point of talking to childless/free friends about other things (that sounds snotty and braggy but honestly it’s probably more about my fear of abandonment than anything else.)
Anonanonanon says
1. You sound like a wonderful, wonderful friend and your friends are lucky to have you
2. I actually don’t have a lot of “mom friends”, though some of my college friends happen to have kids now. Most of my local friends are NOT mom friends, they are people I met through my professional network. Some do have kids. However, since the pandemic, I’ve had a really really hard time keeping in touch with them outside of the tik toks or memes they send me and I reply hours later to. I do appreciate that they take the time to send me something they thought I’d find funny, but I have zero to talk about right now outside of parenting and zero energy to do it. I barely have anything to talk to my husband or mother about.
That being said, it might be different if they made the level of effort you seem to!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Similar situation – I don’t have folks I’m friends with just because they are fellow Moms, as I’ve never enjoyed that environment to date, so never understood the divide. I do have a close network of friends from college, and some happen to be Moms, but generally through pandemic have used this type of text communication for checking-in, fun distractions, etc. The Non-Parents seem to understand that the working parents haven’t had time to work on a hobby, experiment with new recipes/techniques, be “bored”, etc., and the parents aren’t resentful. Also, a chunk of these non-Parents are trying to become parents and going through various stages of trying/treatment, so that’s something else the parents are sensitive of.
I just don’t think there needs to be a divide, but I also don’t like talking kid stuff (e.g. sippy cup type, sleep schedule, etc.) in my downtime, and if I have a question/want to get thoughts would reach out separately to the parent/Mom friends or post here :) Perhaps the latter (a question/vent someone had to fellow parents) is what started the subgroup?
Anonanonanon says
And also, since the pandemic, most of us are not exercising, are tanking at work, aren’t cooking (my kids heard the electric can opener and went “dinner time!” the other day), and are definitely not watching new TV shows, so it’s just harder than it used to be.
Also Anon says
I am sorry that you’re feeling excluded.
Since this COVID crap hit? I don’t watch TV, I don’t have any other interests, I don’t enjoy cooking, exercise is something I only do because if I don’t I will mentally fall apart and I don’t enjoy it like I used to.
I have some childfree friends that have been lovely through this — I hung out with some of them once (while social distancing), and it was a welcome distraction, especially since they were willing to listen to me rant, briefly, about the insanity that is the coming school year and the ridiculousness of all of this. I’d love to chat more with them, but the LEAST depressing thing I have to talk about is what’s happening with the schools.
I have other childfree friends who were, pre-COVID, already fairly self-centered, and have since then turned into navel gazing bores who are comparing dogs and teenage siblings to having small children at home, have opinions about how parents should handle all of this, and go on about how little work they have to do, and so are imersing themselves in new hobbys and Netflix shows. I will assume that the PPs aren’t like that, but your friends with kids may be burnt out from other friends like that.
So, yea, it sucks. I miss my childfree friends, because they were part of that last bit of life I had that didn’t revolve around work/kids/home, but that part had to give because of this stupid virus.
anon says
I posted above too, but honestly, I’m struggling with any sort of individual identity right now. Or identity as a couple with my husband. I don’t love it, but I feel like “just a mom” a lot of the time. The pandemic has definitely made this worse.
My work is largely about the pandemic, so it’s hard to avoid talk of the pandemic and politics if we talk about the substance of my work. I am going to work in person, but I limit my interactions to just 2-3 people and avoid communal areas. My hobbies include travel, planning travel, going to restaurants, and finding free or cheap festivals or other events to drag my family to. I’m not a great cook, and my husband does the majority of cooking in our house. I gave up exercising in April. I love reading, but my brain can’t focus at the end of the day anymore. DH and I watched the Star Wars trilogy, with the goal of watching all the movies, but we haven’t picked it up again in 2-3 weeks because we’re too tired for a movie at 8:30 pm when our kid goes to bed. I watch stupid, serial shows that I don’t have to pay much attention to like Father Brown and Midsomer Murders and Agatha Christie, and I fall asleep to them and couldn’t explain them to you. I took vacation last week (use it or lose it) and used it to paint a room. Basically, when I’m not exhausted or anxious, I’m bored with myself.
Anon says
I think having 2 groups where the mothers have a subgroup for parenting stuff is actually good. My daughter who is having fertility issues muted her friends’ chat group where kid talk started dominating absolutely everything. But she misses the non-kid-related interaction.
Anon says
That sucks. I’m on some group texts and sometimes forget who is even on them because not everyone chimes in. I think your mom friends may have wanted to vent without annoying you all the time and then forgot the other group text went quiet. Can you have a friend add you to the mom group text? “Xxx wants in! Misses you guys and is ok hearing about all our mom issues” or something along those lines.
Pogo says
Interestingly, I had a friend recently ask to leave one of our text groups because the volume was “too much”. One of the other moms (it’s about 50/50 moms vs not moms) freaked out and was asking me “is it because I send too many pictures of [baby]?” So I think a lot of moms of extra self conscious about not wanting to bomboard non-moms.
If you are cool w/ kid-centric content, maybe make that known and have them add you to subgroup? Idk. I actually don’t think said friend left because of baby stuff in our case but rather lack of relating to our work environments – the rest of us work in male-dominated tech and spend a good chunk of time complaining about work and asking “wwyd” career advice, whereas she does not have those struggles in her role. Our conversations are probably 50% work, 25% partner/spouse, 25% baby though – I think it would be interesting to know what the breakdown is of the “mom-only” subgroup. I think the non-moms don’t really care because the majority of the content still relates to them.
Anon456 says
I had a lot of hair loss when I ended BFing, not just postpartum.
That said, I’m having the exact same issue (DD is 2 so it’s not related to pregnancy). I am in fertility treatments so hormones are a hot mess, but this isn’t my first rodeo with treatments so I don’t know what gives. I still have plenty of hair as I’ve been lucky to have very thick hair my whole life, but I 100% can notice a huge difference in overall thickness. Personally it’s all over and not just in one spot. Eager to see what others say.
Runner says
Fun one for you all: we are (mostly) decided on buying the house that we are currently renting. I have a bit of sadness about this because I was hoping we could afford something larger (this is a three bedroom) and newer (there are some new builds happening in our neighborhood). But it’s in the neighborhood we want, we wouldn’t have to move, and it makes a lot of sense for us financially.
I was brainstorming ways it could feel special and new, and wondering if we should get any work done on it. I would probably prioritize things that would add value for resale (which btw I have no idea what those are). Thinking: new carpet — at least in the master — , new countertops, blackout window treatment for kids room. Any thoughts/suggestions? Don’t know if this is relevant but this is a townhouse, townhouses in this area have appreciated/are appreciating at about 7 percent a year, we would most likely at least look at new places five years from sale, but maybe sooner if profitable/affordable. It is very livable right now. This is our first house purchase.
Anonymous says
I would look into putting in hardwood floors instead of carpet and redoing bathrooms or kitchen. Blackout shades is a weekend project you could do anyway anytime not a renovation that ads value!
Pogo says
omg yes. I love love love our hardwood. Then you can do cool area rugs!
Runner says
We have such a gross carpet color — basically the color of vague dirt. This is a great idea.
Anonanonanon says
I live in a townhome and have been consistently told by realtors that doing our kitchen would be “over-improving” and we would not get the money back. That being said, there is something to be said for A. doing something that makes ME enjoy the home more and B. selling it FASTER, if not for more money.
Some updates we have done over the years that were a big bang for our buck:
-New baseboards (went for cleaner, taller ones)
-Hardwood floors on the main floor
-Switched out all of the outlets and light switches. Light switches are all now paddle switches, and everything is bright white and new-looking.
-We didn’t have paneled doors, so we got new doors and doorknobs (the doorknobs did not all match in our home before we did this)
-Had recessed lighting put in the kitchen, had light fixtures installed in living room and master (they previously did not have light fixtures), changed out some light fixtures in other places to be more cohesive. Not super high-cost ones, just updated ones.
-Our basement is finished but had outdated wall colors and an off-trend wood color for the built-ins. We repainted the walls and had the built-ins painted white and it’s a much more enjoyable (and sellable) room now.
Other low cost projects I want to do soon-ish:
-Get new laminate flooring in the laundry room (nicer flooring would be over-improving but we have gross 70s-looking laminate in it right now)
-New counter and floors in the half bath
Anonanonanon says
Oh! We did update our blinds to the thicker wood-slat ones that are white. Makes the bedrooms look nicer.
Anonymous says
We have these and they look very nice but are a huge pain to clean because of all the cords. If you have the budget, I’d go for shutters instead.
Clementine says
I would also look at lower cost, high impact things like painting (interior but also your front door if allowed) or changing window treatments, making any changes which improve the flow of the house, upgrading your outdoor space/deck (if you have one).
I’m also a big fan of swapping out carpet for hard floors and using rugs. But… that’s also because I hate carpet.
anon says
OK, I hear this argument a lot, and I don’t quite get the carpet hate. I have hardwood in my kitchen and it is SO HIGH MAINTENANCE compared to just running a vacuum a few times a week in my living areas. I always thought I’d want to replace the carpet and put in all hardwoods someday because I love the look, but after living with them for 9 years, I am not game for it. My kitchen floors always look like a hot mess, except for the 30 seconds after they’ve been cleaned.
Anon says
I love carpet too! I have never understood why people hate it. Your feet get so much dirtier walking on slightly dirty hardwoods than they do walking on slighty dirty carpet. It just feels gross to me walking on hardwood unless they’re immaculately clean and very few people (me included) keep their floors perfectly clean at all times.
Anon says
I agree. I much prefer carpet on so many levels and wish it was considered in style. My husband feels the same way.
Clementine says
This is so funny to me!
See, I feel like carpet is never really clean. With hard floors, well… I can wash them! If a dog pukes on the rug, I can physically pick it up and clean the entire thing. I just… I never feel like carpet gets ‘clean’. I also find that I can run a quick vacuum through the house and pick up the dog hair in no time at all.
(Note: Part of this is from tearing up lots of old carpet earlier in my life where I got to see what the pad looked like…even if the rug itself looked good the pad was always funky.)
Anonymous says
SAME. I heard a podcast with a researcher that worked with dust mites it something, and he said the average family carpet had something like 12 pounds of dirt in it, even if vacuuming at least once a week. He mentioned having hardwood floors himself and said, no matter how filthy a particular family might be, no one would ever let 12 pounds of dirt accumulate on their hard floors so they are always the cleaner option.
I’ve always preferred hardwood, though I keep our floors pretty immaculate all the time so we don’t have any grime anywhere. If you use shoes inside, the grime builds up quickly and I could see people being grossed out by that. But the carpets are always objectively dirtier, you just don’t see it. Our current house is the 1st where we don’t have carpet installed in any room, and I hope to never go back to carpet.
Pogo says
ha, SAME! I don’t think I’d want hardwood in my kitchen, we have tile. And we did put in wall to wall for our den/playroom, because it really is more comfortable when you’re down on the floor playing with kiddo and safer for him when he’s tumbling around. But hardwood everywhere else, I like being able to pick out statement area rugs, change them out as I change the function of the room or kids grow, etc. I’m always paranoid with carpet that secretly there is dirt and dead bugs lurking in there no matter how much I vacuum… with hardwood I can SEE the dirt.
Anonymous says
Do you have to buy or move right now? Can you rent for another year? I just feel like you’re not committed, and I have a hard time buying something as expensive as a home if you have reservations.
Runner says
So our lease runs out in March and the owners are committed to selling. Buying is so much more cost efficient than renting, especially with how houses here are appreciating. You are right to pick up my ambivalence, I’m sad we can’t afford a more expensive, bigger, nicer house. But this really is the best bet for us, we can upsize in a few years if we want to, and I generally believe in buying smaller so we accumulate less stuff. ;) it’s just…not what I’d imagined we would buy
Anonymous says
I’m the 12:41 Anon. Part of why I picked up on this is that I lived it. We bought a house 4 years ago that we were just “okay” with becuase we moved to a small town with limited inventory. Within a year we bought a different lot in our same neighborhood to build on down the road. Probably in about 2 years now. In the meantime, we have taken on some ambitious projects, and it has made all the difference in the world. I’d encourage you to balance your everyday needs and your preferred aesthetic with doing projects “for resale value”. Becuase 3.5 years in, you might be isolated in your house for 6+ months ;) But, seriously, it just does so much for my mental health and overall happiness to actually like our space (and consequently the rest of my family’s happiness!).
That said…in hindsight, we both wish we’d just bought a different house that cost more even though it felt like a stretch at the time. But if we’d done that, we’d be missing out on some pretty great neighbors. So I guess there is no right answer.
Paging poster with friend with ASD stepson says
did you talk to your friend? I hope so! I know this is a difficult situation, but I am glad you are looking out for the kid.
Anne says
Yes, I’ve been thinking about him. Please let us know if you can.
Jeffiner says
My daughter will be starting Kindergarten this fall and leaving the daycare she has been at since she was an infant. I’m going to get her teacher a gift card, but what can I do for the daycare staff as a whole? The teachers who manage the dropoff/pickup, the cooks, the director, etc? I don’t know their names or even the number of staff, especially since things changed so much due to covid.
Anon says
Donate to their annual fundraising campaigns with a nice note about how your daughter and family had such a great experience there. I don’t think individual gifts are typical for anyone except your child’s teachers.
Anonymous says
I ordered a thank you from Shutterfly with photos from then and now and gave them a nice thank you note. Gift card for in class teachers.
anon says
I don’t think you need to put that on yourself at all.
Anonymous says
None of this is a thing don’t do it
anon says
This is a nice idea, but I agree with others that you don’t have to do anything. You could do food for the staff, bagels or chick-fil-a, coffee, etc.. A handwritten card to the director with specific things you appreciated or the impact they had could be nice.
Anonymous says
I arranged with the director to bring in donuts for all the staff in the staff room one morning and made a little note of that said thank you from our family on the top.
Anon says
Not sure why people act like it’s such an inconvenience to do something kind for the people who have loved on your daughter since she was an infant…it’s not “put upon” if you WANT to do it! I think it’s a lovely idea. I think it would be nice to order individually wrapped cookies from somewhere like Milk Bar or Whimsy Cookie Company, delivered directly to the daycare with a nice note. COVID-friendly and easy.
Anonymous says
Is there any service like HomePay that is at all less expensive? Hiring a nanny for the first time and our friends who have done the taxes themselves strongly recommend not doing it yourself. Nanny will be probably 50/50 at our home and her home so also trying to determine if it’s correctly a W2 situation…
anne-on says
Following with interest for any and all suggestions. We’re about to start with a nanny in September and need to pay above the table due to both of our job’s ethics requirements.
layered bob says
SurePayroll. Saw it recommended here at one point and that’s what we’ve used for 4 years. It is fine. Would recommend also having an accountant for your taxes who is familiar with household employer issues, and they could advise on the W-2 situation, but it most likely is.
Anon says
We started using this too, a couple months ago. Haven’t had to do taxes yet with it so we’ll see. I’ve heard a few others recommended – I think one was Poppins payroll but they don’t operate in my state.
Anon says
HomePay is $$$ but I really thought it was worth it. Not only do you not have to do the basic work yourself, their customer service is truly phenomenal at dealing with any issues that arise. We had a couple weird letters from the state tax dept or IRS and I just contacted HomePay and said “I got this letter and I don’t understand what it means” and their response was “We’ll take care of it immediately” and then a few days letter I got a follow-up saying it had been resolved in such-and-such way (none of which ever involved us owing more money). I’ve worked with personal tax preparers before and have never had this kind of service. It easily would have been worth double what we paid.
Anon says
Seconded. Given how much money we are paying in taxes to do this the “right way” I really like that I have no doubts that homepay is calculating everything properly. I don’t even have to think about it. Bc how much would it suck if all these years of paying all these extra ks I got audited and they said I owed money!!
anon says
This has been my experience too. To be honest, I didn’t shop around much to compare prices of other services but I feel like there are so few things I pay for that seem to be genuinely worth the cost and Homepay is absolutely one of them, for the exact reason you described re customer service. I don’t have time to deal with any of this stuff, and being able to call or email and immediately speak to a real human being who will solve the problem for you or answer the question has been amazing.
car seats says
Anyone want to chat convertible car seats? We have a 3.5 yo (still in her convertible) and a baby who is growing out of his bucket seat. Do we buy two more convertibles? I assume we have 1.5 more years of the 3 yo in hers. We have a britax clicktight which I like well enough and a graco in the less used car which I despise installing.
Do you have a convertible seat you love in the ~$350 range? I’ve read csftl + lucie’s list but just want one more set of input before going forward with two more clicktights…
Anonymous says
Is 3.5 year old front or back facing? If you are ok with front facing, in this situation (age 4, front facing) we got a Graco Tranzitions seat that converts from front facing car seat to booster. Kiddo is still using it as a front facing car seat at 5.5. It’s way lighter than a convertible!
Clementine says
I might consider getting a forward facing harness/Booster like the Britex Frontier or the Pioneer. Something that will last the bigger kiddo through age 7 or so. Then move the little one to the convertible. The nice thing is that the height and weight requirements are pretty high on those. (We have one for Grandma’s car).
All my other convertible carseats are Diono’s which we plan to keep as long as possible. The ones without the ‘head wings’ will work until they’re out of a belt positioning booster, so that’s a good plan.
Anonymous says
Is 3.5 y/o facing forward yet? If so, I’d get a seat designed for forward-facing only, and if not I’d wait until she’s facing forward and buy a forward-facing seat then. Those tend to be more comfortable and less bulky than convertibles.
OP says
Thank you! This is what was not clicking (ha) in my covid-brain. She is RF but meets the requirement for FF. I like the idea of moving her to a FF/less bulky seat and not ending up with four convertibles…
This is one of those situations that feels like you’re in it forever, until you’re not (like bottles –> cups).
Anon2 says
The Graco SlimFit has been a great choice for my preschooler. We started it RF but switched to FF at age 4. It is much less bulky than a lot of convertibles and has low sides he can climb in easily. Affordable, too! (And just as safe as “high end” brands)
Anon says
I think the Nuna Rava is on sale at the Nordstrom sale this year for somewhere in that ballpark, if you want something fancy. But probably not necessary to spend that much.
anon says
It’s my daughter’s last week of preschool and daycare. By the middle of next week, she’ll be a kindergartener. She’s my youngest, and I feel like all the covid stress is keeping me from having a “normal” reaction about any of this? I really want to be soaking up all these lasts (and firsts!), but it’s like I’m numb to having any normal feelings about this transition. I’ve been a daycare parent for over 10 years now. It has been a huge part of our lives, I adore the teachers, and yet I feel nothing right now! Gah. I hate this. Thanks, pandemic, for ruining yet another thing. Thank goodness DD seems excited, at least.
Anonymous says
That was me last year, and August was too busy to get into it. I gave the teachers each a handwritten note (written at the last minute), but between vacation and school shopping and life, there were very few moments of introspection. Then in the first day of kindergarten for my youngest, it poured down rain. No photos, and a rush to get kiddos into school and me to work meant the morning was a mess and again no introspection. My advice, Covid or not, make time for feelings!
Anon says
Have any lawyers on here met with a career coach? Any recs? I’m in NYC but doesn’t need to be local. Relateldy, has anyone moved from being a practicing lawyer to teaching?
Anon says
Is anyone else re-thinking kids and covid risks with the recent studies about heart damage in patients who had even mild disease? I’ve been firmly in the camp that kids are extremely unlikely to get severely ill from Covid and there are serious educational and mental health risks to kids (and parents) from self-isolation. But the recent study from Germany that 78% of patients (many of whom had asymptomatic or mild disease) had signs of heart damage two months post-diagnosis has really freaked me. Granted, the average age of the patients was 50 and I know kids generally heal from things a lot faster than 50 year olds do. But still…the idea that someone could be entirely asymptomatic and still suffer long-term, possibly permanent, heart damage that could cause sudden death without any warning is really scary to me. We’re supposed to go back to daycare next week and after anticipating it eagerly all summer I’m suddenly having doubts. Gah.
Anon says
Don’t plan your life around one terrifying study. There is a lot of hysteria now.
Anonymous says
It’s not hysteria to admit that we just don’t know enough about the long-term effects of this disease.
Pogo says
I say this as someone who sent their kid back already but yeah, we do not know anything about the long term impacts of this disease. My primary goal is still Don’t Get COVID.
I am choosing to limit my family’s exposure in other ways – like no indoor activities of any kind, and minimal outdoor activities w/ others (like beach or hiking or whatever). No non-essential services like spa, massage, gym, dining out.
Clementine says
The closer we get, the more my anxiety is creeping up.
For me, it’s at the point where I have to either decide to leave my job or send my kid to school.
My area is on the list of ‘places in the country where this is fairly under control’. My county of 300,000+ has less than 10 new cases a day, half from health care workers. Positive test rates are less than 1%.
I have a kid in daycare and am okay with that. I don’t know… I literally am sitting her on the verge of tears wondering if I should quit my job.
Anon4this says
I’m sorry. Big hugs from an internet stranger. I’m the Anon from above wondering when this will end. Everything is so hard and its just exhausting.
Anonymous says
I worry about it, but also we don’t study people’s bodies as extensively after other illnesses. A few months isn’t very long and bodies are very resilient in the long-term. It took me way more than two months to recover from childbirth! I am hopeful that COVID won’t be the undoing of humanity, so I try not to get too down from each scary study. I give myself time to be sad and then I recommit to hope for the future.
As for kids, I am no more worried about my kids getting it than I am about myself getting it (and I am more worried about my parents and in-laws). I don’t want any of us to get it, but I also don’t see a healthy way forward without daycare. My kids love daycare and it allows me to keep working. They only go PT to help reduce their risk and our risk to others.
Anonymous says
Our family (filled with MDs and PhDs and one person actively involved in the vaccine effort as a part of work) was pretty alarmed by that study. Our own immediate family’s risk tolerance is low, but we are not doing daycare or school right now. We were getting some pushback from other family members thinking we should reconsider in person school, but I do think this is the study that brought them around to supporting us. Haven’t heard a school comment since it came out. Kids are resilient, but the long term effects are so unknown and will remain that way for awhile. It is hard to know what to do. For us, priorities have been looking at case rates in our area, particular safety procedures (in detail, not vague statements), building ventilation, and plans for what to do with a positive case. Our risk concerns were not met, but could have been met in other circumstances. You just have to do what is right for your family. It might help todecide what might make you change your decision (such as cases rising by X amount) but otherwise try not to second guess yourself. Definitely find out what daycare will do with a positive case in your child’s room, in another room, or by a household member of someone at the daycare. The procedures seem to wildly vary, including whether you would even find out if say, your child’s teacher’s husband tested positive.
Anon2 says
Yes, I am. I have a rising kindergartener, in NY, and for a while had accepted the risk. But now I’m newly pregnant and thinking that school may be too high a risk – especially since this year is going to be weird and stressful and probably not very productive for the kids anyway. I’m leaning towards homeschooling, but struggling making a decision.
Anon says
I have a pediatric cardiologist in my family and actually asked her about that study. She said it merits long term follow up, but that it’s actually very common for viruses to temporarily inflame the heart muscle and it heals on its own in most people. We just don’t know about it because we don’t go around giving survivors of other viruses heart MRIs on a regular basis. Covid is being studied much more intensely than other viruses, which is a good thing but can sometimes lead to unnecessarily alarm. She sends her kids to daycare, fwiw, and to a hospital-based daycare at that.
Anon says
Good to know!!
Anonymous says
I go to a hospital-based child care and think it’s safer than most child cares because the parents in the hospital (largely doctors/nurses) have access to and wear a lot of PPE.
Anon says
I’m sure hospital daycares have excellent precautions, but statistically healthcare workers are much more likely than the general public to contract Covid, PPE and all. This article says they’re 3 times more likely to be infected than the public at large, and I bet the number is much larger if the comparison is to office workers who can work remotely. https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/31/health/ppe-covid-risks-high/index.html
In my state, the vast majority of people who didn’t contract Covid in a large, identified outbreak (eg., in a meatpacking plant or nursing home) are healthcare workers.
Anonymous says
Vent: On Friday night, Montgomery County, MD announced that all non-public schools cannot reopen until at least Oct 1. Last week, I enrolled my kids in a small private school that was committed to opening in person, and had done a lot of work and had a good plan to do so safely. They’ve successfully been operating a summer day camp for weeks already. The fine print on the enrollment agreement is that we’re on the hook for the majority of tuition if we unenroll after June 1, 2020. So now, barring the county backpedaling on whatever political agenda drove this blanket order (extremely unlikely), or making logical carve-outs for schools that can meet CDC guidelines (possible, but how soon?), we’re on the hook for both private school tuition and still stuck in the virtual school h3ll we were trying to avoid. We ran the numbers and decided that in-person school was worth the money, but it’s a non-trivial amount for us. We were expecting some periodic, temporary closures and figured we could juggle them, but this has no end in sight. Meanwhile, bars, restaurants, salons, and tattoo parlors are still open, and people are allowed to gather in groups of 50. I’m furious, and sad, and just so done with everything right now.
Anon says
OMG that’s infuriating!!! I’m so sorry.
anon says
+1. I’m so sorry. This blows.
Anonymous says
You are still going to get better virtual schooling than you’d get through public school, and there is still a greater chance of going back in person. The private school has to keep parents happy or they won’t re-enroll next year.
Mathy says
Yes, agree with this. As a former MoCo resident (I live in the Midwest now), I feel for you. You will get a better virtual experience from the private school.
We decided back in February that 5yo was going to enter the nearby public school for K, but after hearing stories about that virtual experience, we pulled him and reenrolled him at the nearby Catholic school where he went for pre-K. They did a great job with virtual in the spring. The Catholic school is doing all of the things they can to open safely, but my fear is that what happened in MoCo will happen here (no consideration of individual school plans, just blanket closures).
FVNC says
That stinks. If it gives you any comfort, we’re pursuing private schools even though we know they’ll likely be online for a good portion of the school year because they’re committed to providing live (online) instruction everyday, and did so effectively in the spring. In contrast, our public school system won’t guarantee more than 2 days of live (online) instruction for my 2nd grader. So I’d be paying $$$ for either private school or a full time nanny to supervise her in public schools.
Mathy says
OP! Just saw something on my feed about a statement from Gov Hogan — I’ll put the link below but in case it doesn’t come through: Governor Hogan Issues Emergency Order to Prohibit Blanket School Closures
Mathy says
https://governor.maryland.gov/2020/08/03/governor-hogan-issues-emergency-order-to-prohibit-blanket-school-closures/
Anonymous says
OP here, thank you for sharing this!! It made my day for at least a little bit. The emotional whiplash over the last couple weeks is extreme.
Mathy says
Isn’t it?! Emotional whiplash is exactly the right term for this. Everything sucks right now, and for working parents in particular.
Fingers crossed for you that this sticks and your kiddos can go to school. Sending you a big internet hug and high five :)
octagon says
After I quit nursing, I had those little 1-2″ hairs all around my face from postpartum hair loss. Now kiddo is 4.5 and I STILL HAVE THEM. I can’t seem to grow long hair around my face anymore — I pull my hair back and still have a fuzzy halo.
Has anyone else experienced this? I started taking biotin about a month ago to help hair growth but haven’t seen significant results yet.
Ifiknew says
Omg don’t say it never gets better!!
I 1000000% have this. Second child (and were done) is only 14 months though so was hoping it would keep growing and get better.
SC says
Mine got better. I don’t have any specific advice for OP because, as far as I know, I didn’t do anything to make it better. But those short hairs around my face did grow back.
Anonymous says
I’m at 13 months PP and mine isn’t getting better yet :(
Let me know if biotin works!!
Anon says
Has anyone here moved while pregnant or relatively soon after giving birth? I’m due with my second in January and we won’t be able stay in our walk-up apartment with two kids, a dog, and two parents working remotely over the long-term. The question is whether we move across the country to be closer to family before the baby is born, or try to stick it out for the majority of my maternity leave in order to be in a familiar place with familiar doctors, etc. What would you do?
Anonymous says
I moved recently (during the pandemic) at 7 months pregnant. It was rough, particularly packing, and was an in-town move but quickly worth it. I can’t imagine trying to do it also with a baby.
My advice is to throw as much money at it as you can. We hired a sitter to watch our kids while we packed, although if we could have swung it financially, hiring packers may have been worth it. Lots of takeout the last week in our old place and first two weeks in the new one— leave room in your budget for that. Definitely hire movers.
Anonymous says
Do it now for sure.
Anon. says
+1
Anon says
not me, but pre covid one friend moved to a new state with a 2 week old, which was closer to her in-laws. and another friend actually moved away from family while 7 months pregnant for her husband’s job
Anon says
I moved while 6 months pregnant with my first but not across the country. It was tiring but I’m glad we did it. Then, I ordered my husband around for 3 months to complete renovations before the baby came ;). I couldn’t imagine moving with a baby in tow, but people do it and get through it.
KatieWolf says
I’m in the process of moving right now with a 19 month old and 3 week old. We decided right before 2nd baby’s due date to move and we are trying to rush everything incase the market tanks or there are shut downs.
For me, the last weeks of pregnancy were more physically exhausting that this immediate postpartum stage, but I had an easy labor and no tearing. I have been hanging with new baby as much as possible while also stealing away for 1-2 naps for packing. Also, my husband took pat leave and my oldest is in daycare, so I think its easier to do the packing, etc with us both off work. i worked up until I went into labor. I cant imagine trying to do all this while working too.
In terms of continuity of care, I was happy to be with my same provider throughout the pregnancy.
I vote move after baby comes, esp if you have a partner who will take leave as well.
Anon says
I would move now, unless you have a high risk pregnancy. I had a ton of stuff going on before I had my baby including settling in and unpacking the week before I gave birth (it was touch and go if we were even going to make it) and it was just so nice not to have that looming on the horizon.
TheElms says
I moved at 35 weeks pregnant with my first. It was pre-covid and we were able to hire movers so I mostly just had to stand and point for the actual moving day. Packing (the movers packed the kitchen – we packed the rest) and unpacking was exhausting. I’d come home from work and then unpack for 2 ish hours or until my feet wouldn’t let me stand any longer. I do think it contributed negatively to the size of my feet by the end of my pregnancy. But I was really glad to have it mostly done by the time the baby came. 14 month later we haven’t moved much from its original unpacking location …
Anonymous says
I had a difficult pregnancy and a high-needs baby. We did not move, but did work on home improvement projects both before and after the baby arrived. I found these much easier to handle when the baby was about 4 months old than I did while pregnant or immediately following the birth.
anne-on says
I moved during my maternity leave (we closed on the house when our son was about 1 month old and moved when he was about 3 months). Honestly it was SO much easier moving when out on leave than when we’d previously moved with 2 people working and both of us getting interrupted for calls/trying to pack at weird hours.
I was home all the time and able to be the main point of contact for realtors/movers/decorators/etc. I second the ‘through money at it’ recommendation. My mom came up and helped with a TON of packing/cleaning but if she hadn’t been able to help I would have 100% paid for cleaners to clean our old apartment out and had the movers do more of the packing themselves.
Anon says
what do you put on bug bites for toddlers to prevent itching?
Anon says
hydrocortisone
AnotherAnon says
I know this isn’t an infertility board but I just found out I’m not pregnant AGAIN and I’m so frustrated. I’m not even sad like I usually am. I’m just so sick of this process. Lowkey eff 2020.
Anon says
I’m sorry. I’ve been there. It sucks. Take whatever time you need (the day/the week/whatever) to feel sad and indulge in whatever helps you during sad moments. A lot of us here have been where you are, so don’t hesitate to vent/ask questions/etc.
EP-er says
I second that a lot of us have been in your shoes and this a good place to ask questions or vent. All the virtual hugs to you!
Mathy says
We were called to pick up 5.5mo daughter from daycare because “she spit up more cereal and milk than normal.” No fever, and she has been all smiles and giggles for the whole day and her teachers said she was fine otherwise. There are no other documented cases of illness in the center right now. We trust this daycare and have no reason to question cleanliness or their staff procedures.
We are pretty strict about isolation and didn’t socialize this weekend, so I’m hopeful everything is okay. She had no issues throughout the weekend. I have my fingers crossed that this is nothing much and she can go back on Wednesday after a full day of no other issues.
I get the hypersensitivity and why it’s necessary right now, but, ugh — I should probably prepare myself for a fall/winter of pickups for little things right?
Anon says
Yes there will be more pickups than normal this year, but that seems crazy to me. My kiddo was a “happy spitter”, so we never would have had any childcare if she was sent home for spitting! Anyone who has seen a child actually vomit knows the difference between spitting up and vomiting and as far as I know spitting up is not a sign of any communicable disease.
FVNC says
Late in the day so you may not see this, but…yep, more pickups.
Our 3 yr old had a fever and runny nose on Saturday, and was fine by Sunday. In ordinary times, I’d have sent him to daycare without a second thought. Now, all of us (including our 6 yr old who has been at outdoor day camp) are quarantining until his covid test comes back. I imagine this will happen repeatedly this fall/winter.
Anonymous says
Packing for a toddler advice: How do you not pack your entire house when going on a (driving) beach vacation with a 15 month old? Basically, we’re taking only our second trip ever (thanks, COVID) with our son. We’re going to the beach, and I’m really trying to just not bring much. But, even in writing down a list of what are essentials, it seems very long. Is this just how it is with kids?
Anon says
It’s how it is with kids during Covid. My daughter is 2.5 and before Covid we were getting to the stage where we could fly for shorter trips carry-on only. Even for longer trips, we would just do one checked suitcase for the family. But we recently took a driving trip to the beach and packed so much stuff our car trunk would barely shut. When you’re trying to avoid hotels, restaurants, grocery stores, etc., there’s just so much more to bring.
Anonymous says
Yes, although I think it gets better as they get older and you get more experienced with making do without things.
ElisaR says
at first it is. But it gets better. my boys are 2.5 and 4 yrs old now and we were recently SHOCKED at how empty our car was for a weekend trip. There’s just less necessary STUFF now. i mean, still stuff, but less of it.
Anon. says
Yes! We sent the 3 year old to Grandma’s for the weekend and it is SOOOO much less stuff than it used to require.
Anonymous says
I think it is how it is, especially right now. I would want to minimize trips to stores to (1) a grocery order pick-up for perishables, and (2) true emergencies. So I’d be packing lots of extra diapers and wipes, clothes (and/or laundry detergent), toys, first aid/medicine, non-perishable food, etc. I never regret overpacking as much as underpacking.
Anon says
Yes, but once they outgrow all of their baby containers, the packing (not the herding) is easier – my 3YO is day potty trained (so only need diapers for nighttime), will sleep in her own bed or with us, refuses a stroller and generally eats and drinks (more accurately – doesn’t eat) what we do off of adult sized utensils and dishes! At 15MO I think I would take the PNP, extra sheet sets (assuming you have laundry), stroller, a baby beach tent if permitted or umbrella if not, life vest, suncreen, a couple of small beach toys, chair for you, and then all the toddler clothes an adult would need but with doubles for accidents, plus a skiphop clutch and diapers, wipes and toddler bath stuff. Then I would take 2 sippy cups, 2 sets of kids plates and utensils, and get a bunch of snacks or other food my kiddo would eat delivered once I got there.
SC says
Yes, I think this is just how it is with kids, especially when you go somewhere that’s not already set up for kids. Heck, my family took a day trip to a beach a few weeks ago. For 2 adults and a 5 year old, we packed a wagon full of toys and towels, a cooler, an umbrella, 3 chairs, and a bag with changes of clothes for everyone. We were at the beach for all of 3 hours! (We left the umbrella and chairs in the back of the car, and left the wagon full of toys in the garage so it will be easier to pack next time.)