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I recently looked in my bathroom trash and saw a mountain of makeup pads. I immediately added these reusable makeup remover pads to my shopping cart.
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A set of 10 pads is $15 at Amazon.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
HSAL says
Best kid lunchboxes? Ideally insulated but not required. I’d prefer minimal/no loose interior containers, but everything inside should be dishwasher-safe. I have my eye on Bentgo right now but wondering about other options.
AwayEmily says
I hear you on the no interior containers. I know people love their Planetboxes but taking care of all the tiny parts drives me nuts. The OmieBox is good but BIG — probably better for older kids/adults; I use it for my own lunch or if I’m bringing stuff for both kids. Also, it has fewer little compartments. We recently got the Munchkin Bento and I really like it — whole thing is dishwasher safe. Can’t speak to its longevity as we’ve only had it for a couple of months. We had the Bentgo when the kids were little and it was fine but only the (removable) interior part was dishwasher-safe. Also the latch broke on two of them.
Wow, I apparently have a lot to say about lunchboxes.
AwayEmily says
Oh, and the Bentgo and Munchkin both fit into standard insulated lunchboxes (e.g. the LL Bean one).
Anonanonanon says
I got the omiebox and was so excited about the thermos integrated in (but also removable) but the thing is IMPOSSIBLE to close! I’m sure it’s a fluke but a lot of reviews had mentioned it as well and I wish I had listened. It is also incredibly heavy. The teachers were relieved when I replaced it with something else because of the closing issue. I probably should have returned it, but tl;dr I wanted to love it and it was a very heavy waste of money
HSAL says
I loved the Omiebox when I first saw it and then saw those reviews about the thermos. My kids will be three so I’m guessing it’ll be too hard for them to open.
Anonanonanon says
My three-year-old could open the thermos, the way they designed the handle was great! The box itself was very difficult to open and close, though, which sort of defeated the easy open thermos.
Pogo says
I love the Bentgo.
Emily O. Sealy says
After a few weeks with a planetbox, we switched to a cheap soft insulated bag from target and Rubbermaid lunchbox containers, which are dishwasher safe (lids and smaller boxes fit in a bottle dishwasher rack.) We also have thermos funtainers for hot food and for drinks. I had my doubts about bag quality but it’s held up.
Anonymous says
We just use Easy Lunchboxes plastic divided containers in an insulated bag. My husband sewed it but I think most lunchbags from LL Bean etc would work.
anne-on says
We like the planetbox but usually use it without the tiny containers – I like that it all pops into the dishwasher very easily, but I wish it was slightly bigger as it is hard to fit a full sized sandwich/bagel into it. Do NOT buy the thermos – my kid broke 2 in a month as the plastic latch cracks when dropped and then just leaks/won’t close (and look, they’re kids, at that price the thing should be able to withstand being dropped from a table onto the floor).
oil in houston says
I spent hours looking for the same thing after I got tired of washing all those tiny containers. in te end, I got this, it comes in pack of 4, so I can just add tehm to teh dishwasher every night, it cleans easily, and is the right size for my toddler. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07BCDNQSK/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
HSAL says
That’s very appealing. I still loves me some lunchables. Do you think the individual containers are big enough? One of mine is a big eater.
Mathy says
I have these! Use them for both my 1yo and my big eater 6yo, who requires maybe an extra yogurt tube on the side. I love that I can have some foods with liquid in them (have done both greek yogurt and cottage cheese with zero leakage, and would feel comfortable with applesauce, but definitely nothing more liquid than that). I really do like them a lot and am happy with this purchase. Fits in the PBK Mackenzie lunchbox with a slim ice pack just fine.
Anon says
a friend mentioned to me last night that their older elementary school kid has a lot of questions about the Israeli Palestinian conflict and i told her i’d ask this board (she doesn’t have time to post today) i realize there is no such thing as a neutral source and that this is an extremely complicated issue, anyone have any resources for talking about it with kids?
Anonanonanon says
That is going to be very dependent on the parents’ view of the issue. I find my son is moved by hearing from other sources (as in, not me) more than a conversation with me. An episode of the Daily yesterday interviewed a young woman in Gaza, it was pretty powerful, and she talks about her younger siblings. Regardless of your view on the issue, I think it’s important for children to hear what other children in the world are facing and going through, even if it’s horrible sometimes. Especially what is going on at our own border. There is a book called “Refugee” for children that age that starts some of those conversations.
It is very important to me that my child learn that (1) He’s not better because he was born here. It is luck, it could just as easily be us over there and (2) as he gets older, understands why it’s so important to protect our democracy and elect responsible people to power and (3) Countries where bad things are happening aren’t just the rubble you see on TV, they have universities and museums and restaurants and malls just like we do. Until they don’t. I feel like I was embarrassingly old before I understood that.
avocado says
Not specific to the Israel/Palestine discussion, but I second the recommendation for “Refugee.” It had a big impact on my daughter.
Anon says
I’ve found NewsForKids.net is pretty good at elementary-kid-focused simple articles about current news. However I’m always a bit skeptical and pre-read articles to make sure they’re okay. There’s no info on the site about who is writing it – it says “created by a teacher” but that’s so vague.
I’ve only skimmed this one, but their recent article is below.
https://newsforkids.net/articles/2021/05/12/fighting-breaks-out-between-israel-palestinians/
Anon says
that article is decent. one thing i struggle with, and i will admit i am Jewish and my grandparents were Holocaust survivors, so I realize I definitely have a bias, is referring to Hamas as a militant group as opposed to a terrorist organization. I do not think it is ok that children in Gaza have been killed by the Israelis. Nor do I think it is ok that Hamas relies on suicide bombers and that most kids in Israel have been going through metal detectors since they could speak, since they are required to enter a shopping mall. Someone on the main site shared this link yesterday, which I think is decent in explaining the history: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRYZjOuUnlU and an older child might be able to understand. again, recognizing my bias, it seems like a lot of the current conflicts could’ve been avoided if both sides had just accepted the UN proposal in 1947 (i realize this proposal involved Palestinians giving up some land and that there was a history of Zionists coming in and taking over land, but could have avoided the settlements in the West Bank today). also- no matter what your thoughts are on the Israeli, Palestinian conflict, the anti-Semitic incidents in the US are not ok
Anon says
+1. Liberal Jewish American who believes the Israel military action in Gaza is wrong AND that Hamas is a terrorist organization. Both can be true and it really bothers me that so many people on the left seem unwilling to label Hamas as terrorists.
anne-on says
This. I find it really, really frustrating that Hamas is not classed as a terrorist group AND that there isn’t as much discussion of the fact that Palestinians flat out refused to take the 1947 compromise. How do you negotiate with a group that fundamentally does not believe in Jewish statehood?
I am NOT ok with all of the actions that Israel has taken but I truly don’t know how you ‘resolve’ this issue when one side wants the other side wiped off the map?
Anon Lawyer says
I don’t think relitigating what people did in 1947 is helpful. Very few of those people are still alive today. I do think it’s worth emphasizing the regional politics in general – many of the Arab states could have granted Palestinians citizenship but didn’t because it was useful for them to keep a permanent group of refugees as a political issue instead. But that – as with everything – is about the leadership, not the people. And the question is, how do we handle the fact that some people have terrible leaders but also are just . . . people. For those of us who have hated some of our leaders in the U.S., I think this is a question we can sympathize with.
Anonymous says
Agree. Also important to explain the difference between how Gaza and the West Bank are governed. When terrorist groups like Hamas indiscriminately fire rockets into civilian areas and locate themselves in civilian apartment buildings it is an incredibly difficult situation. That doesn’t make what Israel is doing right but I honestly don’t know what else we expect them to do. Hamas fundamentally does not believe Israel as a state should exist which basically takes a two state solution off the table.
And I understand why the right of return discussions are frustrating for Israel because we don’t expect that of anyone else who was dispossessed in the same time period of post-WW2 like Germans back to Czechia or Indigenous people back to their lands in Western US or Canada (many people think of the later as hundreds of years ago and it was not. A lot of post- WW2 displacement occurred in North America).
Anon Lawyer says
There are definitely indigenous people in North America fighting for land return though.
Pogo says
One thing that was helpful for me as an adult was learning the colonial history of the British in Palestine, too.
Anonymous says
I like the BBC kids news website for tough issues. They are often clearly explained and fairly balanced. Link to follow with a couple on the ones on this topic.
Anonymous says
https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/57169153
Anonymous says
My 6 year old wants to be an electrician. My BIL was so happy bc he thought he wanted to follow in his footsteps. No, he thought electricians were needed to turn on the television
Cb says
In a more lighthearted take on yesterday’s convo about kid’s futures, what does your kid want to do when they grow up?
My kid currently wants to work at the plant nursery, so he can be a “plant expert” and “grow lots of flowers for mummy!” He can identify all sorts of different plants, lives for a garden centre trip, and loves to help me in the garden, so maybe? Before that, it was a bin lorry driver, and before that a pilot (he’d fly with daddy and I could sit in the back and read my book)
Anon says
Aww that’s so sweet. My daughter is 3 and only recently fully understands the question (before she would give us answers like “Mommy” or “a penguin”). Now she says a firefighter or a construction worker. They push the ‘community helpers’ hard at school.
Mary Moo Cow says
My almost 4 year old wants to be a teacher, just like her preschool teacher. Her teacher accidentally and unfortunately swallowed a bug on the playground yesterday and DD emphatically said this morning that when she is a teacher she will not swallow a bug!
Anonymous says
Based on the Daniel Tiger episode where he learns that ‘you can be more than one thing’ – My middle kid wants to be an ice cream truck driver, candy store owner and dog walker. His brother wants to be a ‘habitat saver’ because ‘it is the most importantest job’ which kinda made my heart burst (I’m an environmental lawyer).
Anon says
My 8 year old is obsessed with weather and has been since he could speak, so he’s frequently told people that he wants to be a meteorologist, though he’s more recently said more generally scientist. It’s great to watch him now that he’s actually reading and learning things about what interests him!
My 5 year old has been saying for at least 2 years that she wants to be a lawyer, like me. (Actually, she started out just saying she wanted to be a “worker,” because she didn’t know what I did.) I figured she’d drop it quickly, but she’s been consistently adamant about this.
I was a first generation college/professional student and always found the idea of kids following in their parents’ careers sort of weird. And I assume that she is likely to change her mind (though I frequently notice that she does “think like a lawyer” in a lot of ways), but it’s seeming a lot more appealing and touching then I would have thought.
Anonymous says
Kids are 3/5/7. All girls.
3 year old wants to be: puppy mom, cat, mermaid.
3 year old will be: nurse or other highly empathetic caregiver
7 year old wants to be: artist, babysitter, mom, inventor, teacher
7 year old will be: architect or something that similarly blends her geospatial skills and rule following nature
5 year old wants to be: inventor, famous person, “rocket driver,” plumber, construction worker, race car driver
5 year old will be: litigator, infamous criminal known for extremely insane capers and never getting caught, owner of a fashion line (maybe all 3!).
Anonymous says
Ugh there’s no way to know what your kids will be or how their personalities will change as they get older. Don’t put them in boxes like that.
Spirograph says
bah humbug, I thought it was fun. Observing your child’s personality at a point in time is not the same as putting them in a box.
Based on their personalities right now, I will not be surprised if they grow up to be 1. a media/entertainment personality, 2. a project manager, and 3. a job-hopper. They’re 4,6,and 8, so I fully expect this to change.
Anon says
I think it’s not just this one comment she was reacting to, this poster has a real habit of labeling her kids and saying her spirited middle kid will grow up to be a criminal. It’s kind of off-putting to me too.
Anon says
The predictions my parents made about me were similarly cruel (mother said I would be a drug-addicted burnout). My father went in the other direction and would literally bully me if I was anything but “nice” (read: doormat), with the prediction that I would be a failure at life and a professional student. It is not funny or cute to say those things about a child; it’s cruel and messed up.
It is amazing how much I grew the further away from them I got. They’ve never met their grandchild because that sweet baby is not going to grow up thinking that it’s normal to be treated like that.
Anonymous says
Anon at 12:00, I’m sorry your parents cut you down like that, but there is a qualitative difference between joking on an anonymous internet forum that your kid may grow up to be an ingenious criminal mastermind, and telling your child to her face that she’ll be a drug-addicted burnout.
Anonymous says
Y’all, these were my kids. It’s all in good spirits; my kids are all awesome and will do interesting things in the world.
My 5 year old picks locks as a hobby. She is obsessed with both being famous and the Gardner Art Heist. She recently stole all her siblings toys and sold them back to her tag-sale style. She has a bright future in business, too ;).
Anonanonanon says
I don’t track other posters this closely (how do yall tell everyone labeled Anonymous apart?!) but my parents always said I’d grow up to be a CEO or in jail. Or Nancy Grace. It was said in good fun and I never took offense and always thought it was funny, they always presented it as you’re so smart you better make sure you use that for good. Telling your kid to their face they’re going to be a drug addicted burnout is really really mean and I think different than what Anonymous said.
Anonymous says
But it’s also Anonymous’ job to teach her kid right from wrong, and that everyone can choose to use their gifts for good or evil. Kiddo steals her siblings’ stuff and tries to sell it back to them? Kid gets grounded and the stuff is returned to her siblings without a single cent exchanging hands. Kid picks locks? Get her into codebreaking. “Ha, ha, she’s going to be a criminal” is a weird flex.
Spirograph says
Omg, these aren’t my kids but I seriously doubt this “stealing” was mean-spirited (that story is adorable, Anonymous). This is what kids do! It doesn’t warrant grounding, maybe a gentle reminder to respect other people’s things. 3,5, and 7 year olds don’t have a great idea of the value of a dollar, they’re just mimicking things they’ve seen and obviously don’t want to sell their *own* stuff to a sibling. My kids regularly do things that, on a grander scale, would look like price gouging, extortion, or a ponzi scheme, but they’re just experimenting, and 80% of the time the “target” is happy to be playing along. As long as it doesn’t end in tears, I just like to watch their little brains work. It usually evens out in the end.
Lyssa says
Agree with Spirograph, this was very cute and charming and it’s frustrating to see someone try to put it down (seriously, guys, don’t do to this board what has largely happened to the non-mom one). And I think the description of the 5 year old should have made it clear that she’s not taking it too seriously.
HSAL says
I also thought it was cute.
Anon says
+1 I’d love to parent that 5 year old!
Pogo says
My 3yo wants to drive a digger. He LOVES construction.
Ashley says
My 3yo says he wants to be an astronaut. I love it!
anonamommy says
6yo wants to be a doctor. She has wanted to be a doctor since before she was 2, I think after seeing the Daniel Tiger episode with Doctor Anna. She has been a doctor for Halloween 3x by her choice. She loves all things relating to anatomy — for her two social-science parents, this has been an interesting and educational journey! I have no idea what she will actually be — we are not parents who insist that she must be a doctor! — but I think it likely will be something science-adjacent.
avocado says
One of my daughter’s preschool classmates announced her intention to attend princess school. She just couldn’t figure out whether that would come before or after med school.
Anonymous says
My 3.5 YO announced last night that maybe he wants to work in an office downtown – unclear what he wants to do there. He also wants to be a “mountain climber” and a “diver”. I have tried to explain to be a diver he needs to put his ears underwater. His previous ambitions include road roller driver and police man (i get to be the lady that hold the stop sign).
Last week he told me that he would like to MARRY a doctor or more superficially that the mommy in his family will be a doctor. (He will meet her by going to a doctor’s office – she will be wearing flowered scrubs). This may be because my sister is a doctor, and he objectively thinks their house is better. They have a pool in their backyard.
Anonymous says
Your last paragraph is perfectly logical from a 3.5 y/o perspective. If a mommy who is a doctor has a swimming pool, then clearly the way to get a swimming pool is to have a mommy doctor in the family.
anon says
I saw this article yesterday, and it made me so angry: https://jessica.substack.com/p/american-moms-are-being-gaslit
I know so many women who quit or leaned out this year. One of my friends who I shared this with said “Women aren’t leaving the workforce because they want to. They’re leaving because America has put women, mothers especially, in an impossible situation.” I couldn’t agree more. Our employers, society, and men need to step up.
Anon says
1000%
Mary Moo Cow says
I didn’t quit, but the pandemic and having my kids home for 3 months showed me I would quit if I could afford to. My perspective is that most women were forced to quit by circumstances like online only school and daycare closings and layoffs, but some took it as an opportunity to leave.
I do think the exodus is a shame because with fewer women in management and management track, society and businesses won’t change to allow more flexible schedules, more holistic performance evaluations, eliminating the wage gap, and the like. There certainly are some men who will advocate for this but it seems it still remains the burden of women to make the change because we live it and we remember it when it’s time to make management decisions that benefit working parents.
Anon says
I think there’s also an element of resentment and burnout. I think about quitting every day even though I don’t want to be a SAHM – my preschooler loves school, learns so much (social-emotional stuff more than academics at this age) and I think my patience with her would wear thin if I were with her all day every day. But even though we’ve now been back at daycare for ~9 months and my life is mostly normal, I have ZERO motivation to do my job and I think a big part of it is just resentment over how unsympathetic they were when I had no childcare and burnout from the six months when I was trying to take care of a kid all day and up working all night. I haven’t recovered from it and am not sure how I could recover it from. I think a few months alone on a tropical island might do it, but that’s obviously not happening. If/when I do quit it will be less about being forced out or wanting more time with my kid and more about not being able to recover from this resentment and burnout.
No Face says
I can really related to this, especially your last sentence. I am extremely burnt-out. I’m not quitting at the moment (because staying at home with a young toddler is exhausting too), but I don’t think I will have the energy to go above and beyond at work ever again. It’s not my husband’s fault either – he was working outside the home 12 hours a day during the pandemic. It was just a tough time for all of us.
I really killed it at work in 2019 despite having a health issue requiring multiple appointments a week, on top of pregnancy. My revenue was higher than any other associate in the whole firm. Did that matter when the pandemic started? NOPE. I had really given that firm my all,. but I switched firms for basic safety.
My new place is great, but I just can’t commit myself to a workplace and risk getting s c r e w e d again. My ability to trust is just gone. My plan is to coast until my youngest is in preschool, then quit the workforce and live my life for me.
Anon says
Yes this. I would hate being a SAHM but I’m so burnt out and wondering why I’m working so hard for a company that literally expected higher performance over the last year, with no sympathy for personal circumstances. We lost our well-liked healthy 50 year old VP to Covid last summer and other than a weekend of quiet, work did not pause.
Virtual kindergarten was a disaster, and working while assisting virtual school was impossible. Add the stress of a summer care option that only this week confirmed they were going to run at all, and I’m ready to throw the entire towel in. I don’t know how to get over this level of burn out.
Anonymous says
This. So much this.
Pogo says
“I haven’t recovered from it and am not sure how I could recover it from”
oh so much.
Anonymous says
Yes.
Anonanonanon says
Yes this. I didn’t realize how I was feeling, but this. I’m not even mad at my workplace just…. our society. I am just so tired and burnt out and I love my job, I do, but I’m STILL having to juggle having an elementary-aged kid who is too old to make paying someone 20-25/hr to sit in my house while he does schoolwork worth it, but such a logistical nightmare to arrange with neighbors to leave him home while I go into the office on short notice. And still having to make sure he has breakfast and lunch, goes back to his computer when he should, etc. I’m much better off than before- little on is back in care out of the house full-time. This is just never-ending and I’m just… tired. I’m just so tired.
I would hate being a SAHM, I was for a few years with my first so I know this is true, and for the first time ever last night I was seriously imagining quitting my job.
Megan says
Yes, I agree a lot with Mary Moo Cow. I don’t think staying home is awful; for me, I think it would be pretty great, actually. But I do think it’s a short term fix with long term consequences. For the good of society in general, I’d prefer my favorite doctor, and best manager, and generally awesome coworker stayed working, instead of stopping out because society has failed to give us a way to both work and raise children without going insane. And, when you step out of the workforce, you assume all the risks of that decision – if you do end up getting divorced or any of the million other things that can happen, it’s all “it was your CHOICE”.
anon says
I would actually love to be a stay at home mom when my kids are slightly older (I’m really interested in homeschooling), but I am terrified of the financial risk.
I don’t love what feels like the underlying assumption in the Valenti article that out of home work has a greater inherent value, but that’s part of society as a whole. Just like how we’re willing to talk about providing government support so that women can pay for childcare, but not willing to just pay women directly if they want to provide that care themselves.
Anonarama says
I agree, I also didn’t appreciate that assumption in the Valenti article. I think the fact that men don’t want to be stay at home parents says something that doesn’t reflect well on men. I know a lot of women decide to be SAHM so they can spend more time with their kids, shouldn’t more dads want that as well?
anon says
You know, that question raises complicated nurture vs. nature questions that I honestly don’t know the answer to. Before I had my kids I absolutely would have said that the fact that most stay at home parents were women was a societal conditioning issue. But when I had my first, I was shocked by the degree to which I felt an intense visceral desire to be with him and an interest in (and enjoyment of) caring for him. It didn’t feel conditioned or external – it felt completely biological to me. And I was NEVER interested in kids before (never babysat, never wanted to hold babies, etc.). My husband loves our children, but in my observation he did not experience that same sort of (for lack of a better word) compulsion to be with them.
I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, obviously – but that experience did make me see the question of why there aren’t more stay at home dads different.
Anon says
Agree, Anon at 11:14. It does feel very visceral. I had also never had any experience with babies, wasn’t even sure I wanted my own until I met my husband, and my bond with my kid was so intense and immediate. My husband of course loves her and is a great dad but it does feel like it’s just different biologically as a woman.
Anonanonanon says
I don’t know, my husband has a much more biological pull toward the children than I do. I’ve worried if a kid who was grumpy in the morning is having a good day, or worried that a kid who was excited to present a project they worked hard on got the praise they were hoping for, etc. during the work day, but I’ve never been like “oh gosh I miss the kids and can’t wait to get home and play with them” like my husband does. I think about them and hope they’re doing well, but I’m fine if they’re in someone else’s capable hands.
Pogo says
There is a woman (SAHM) in my local mom’s group whose husband passed away and her lack of financial independence and financial literacy has been scaring me to lean into my job more.
Pogo says
(not to say it is her fault, just that our society in the US is not set up for a family with no breadwinner in a FT job with benefits etc)
EDAnon says
I am not sure it is biological. My husbands mom stayed home and he has a visceral desire to be home with the kids. My mon worked and I don’t have that same desire. I do wish I could work part-time in the summer or something though to really get some in-depth hang out time with them!
anon says
Question prompted by reading this: we talk a lot about men needing to step up. For those reading – did you feel like your husband/partner stepped during this past year? If not, why do you think he didn’t? Do you feel differently about your relationship now?
Anon says
My husband and I already had a pretty equal balance and I don’t think that changed, so yes I feel like he did his share of housework and childcare during the pandemic. But I don’t think he’s as burned out as I am, which probably has a lot to do with the nature of our jobs (he’s a tenured professor so he doesn’t have a boss, can’t get fired unless he does something horrendously bad and has more flexibility to “pause” work, especially in the summer). I know this summer was not very productive for him since he spent a lot of time on childcare and I know he would have liked to have accomplished more, but I think it’s pretty different when you don’t have a boss yelling at you or the fear of getting fired for unproductivity hanging over you. Also I (like most women) carry much more of the mental load. I worried a ton about how the pandemic and daycare closure were affecting our only child, and he didn’t spend as much mental energy on that.
No Face says
For me, I learned that my husband is one of the few people in the world who is truly on my team.
Pogo says
This is how I feel. No one I would rather have been stuck in quarantine with.
Cb says
Yes, definitely! We had some bumps along the road as his job is much more reactive and urgent than mine (and higher stakes, as he largely managed the move to remote legislative proceedings). And I made the mistake of taking the am kid shift early on but we yelled, talked, and reset. He really massively stepped up. And now he does the commute/nursery run with kiddo, and does breakfast, shoes, teeth and out of the house with no intervention from me (I help get kiddo dressed). Dinner remains a sticking point but I’m just tired of cooking after 15 months.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Mine did. Right at the start of the lockdown, he went to a part time schedule. He ended up being laid off from that job, so take that for what you will, but that industry was badly hit. He’s always had good jobs but no “big jobs,” nor would he want a job where he would have to be on all the time or travel. Mine is a little bigger and has tighter timelines, which is frankly only possible because he can step in. He never thinks of caregiving or housework as just my job. So, our relationship was great before and is great now, even through a pandemic. I value our relationship above everything else, definitely above work even though I work hard and above kids in the sense that I think prioritizing us and our collective happiness can only lead to good things for the kids. I don’t think either of us would really want to be the sole breadwinner or sole SAHP, and we like the egalitarian partnership.
GCA says
‘I don’t think either of us would really want to be the sole breadwinner or sole SAHP’ — this is us, too. And all of what you said.
At lockdown last year, DH had just finished his PhD followed by a data science bootcamp program so he was just entering the job market. He was job hunting and home with the kids for six months. It was pretty grueling because he would primary parent on weekdays and I would primary parent almost all weekend while he tackled job applications and the skills tests they give applicants, but I was also incredibly grateful that he was there with and for the kids.
To be clear, we had a pretty equal partnership before the pandemic as well, and he has never wanted a ‘big job’ with a ton of stress, travel or time pressure for high pay. (Frankly he is the more patient of us two and would make the better SAHP!) I’m not really sure how this happened or how to suss it out in a prospective partner/ co-parent, unfortunately! FWIW, he grew up with five siblings, a SAHM and a teacher father. I suppose when you have six kids, each parent needs to be able to fully plan and prepare for things like 1-parent-two-kid backpacking trips, or juggle sports schedules for the 50% of your kids who are in the same sport at the same time.
Mary Moo Cow says
Good question. Mine didn’t, then did, and is now sliding back toward the middle. He took on extra, fight-the-pandemic work in the beginning so most childcare and housework fell on me; then scaled back on work and did more childcare and household management, but after kids went back to full time in person school, he’s doing less childcare and less household stuff. I do feel differently about our relationship; I feel less like “can’t live without him” and more like, “I don’t need him and but I think I still want him around.” I don’t speak up about my need for child free time and am feeling burnout keenly, which is also affecting how I see our relationship. So I’m headed back to counseling.
Anonanonanon says
He did as much as he could. We were both involved in response and he had to be in the office every single day with almost no ability to take a day off, and I had a bit more flexibility but just as much work, so the bulk of figuring out kids landed on me. It made for horrifically long days and an imbalanced load and it wasn’t his fault, it was just how it shook out, but it was tough not to feel resentful. Luckily (I guess?) I also went back to school in the fall and then he was responsible for putting the little one to bed every night, and I felt like I was “paid back.” I know that’s not healthy and we shouldn’t keep score, but sometimes when we’re exhausted as humans we do. And it worked out in the end.
Anonanonanon says
I will say housework was the one area that took a few times of me on the verge of losing it to get him to step up. It was always 50/50 before, but when we had a nanny/kids in the house all day, a lot more housework resulted and he didn’t seem to grasp that it was a lot more laundry/vacuuming/mopping/tidying/bathroom cleaning than when no one was in the house all day.
Anonymous says
My situation is different because I have a stay at home husband, even before the pandemic. But he has managed virtual school for two early elementary kids plus the household for over a year. (And we are still virtual several days a week). He rocks. He is truly burned out. And I’m working in the household while tantrums are going on in the other room. I hate it. It’s been a luxury that I don’t have a commute, but I also feel like I need to join the family for lunch to give him a break, or not work late for the same reason. Regardless, it’s a strain on all of us.
anon says
My husband was good at stepping up to chores, but was not helpful for any of the emotional aspect whatsoever. I had two kids and an au pair who were all melting down, a crazy pandemic response exploding at work, and he was on paid leave with nothing to do. Yet he didn’t step in of his own accord to help with school or care of the kids, even when he was home with no work. If I asked him to help, inevitably he’d make our 7 yo melt down such that I’d have to leave a work call to try to help resolve the fight. It was the same with the au pair–she was feeling fragile and needed to be made to feel supported, safe and valued. He thought she was an adult who was being paid and she should buck up. I was terrified that she’d quit and go home, leaving us in a childcare lurch as my husband could be called back to in person work at any moment. He ended up causing more harm than good so I just told him to go away and find some yardwork to do. All he did was upset the whole house. I think he was feeling undone a bit that he was off his schedule, but his lack of ability to manage any emotional labor really frustrated me. I don’t think he got it then and I don’t think he really gets it now, but at least he’s back at work. (He did step up to do most of the chores, cooking and cleaning while he was off. It’s the emotional bit where he was an utter flop.)
Anonanonanon says
LOL this is my dad.
Spirograph says
My husband has always prided himself on being an involved dad and an equal partner, and he did really step up. He took a leave of absence from work to get the kids through the rest of the 2020 school year so I could still give at least 75% at work. He continues to be not-great at housework, but he tries. He’s gotten better at taking some of the mental load. We’ve both had to lean on each other a lot and prop each other up at different times throughout the pandemic, and we’re both burned out, but that’s no one’s fault. it’s just the world right now.
Anonymous says
I think my husband is a pretty equal partner, but we’ve had to constantly renegotiate who does what as school schedules keep changing. My husband is a teacher and was fully remote last spring, in person in the fall, then fully remote over the winter, and now back to in person this spring. Our son’s hybrid school schedule has changed at least 5 times this year (he is now finally back full-time, hallelujah!). So we’ve had to constantly adjust the division of labor.
AwayEmily says
My husband and I have the exact same job (college professor), and during non-pandemic times he was away for 3 days a week. But during the past year he’s been teaching on Zoom and is here all the time. It’s made a HUGE difference to have an equal partner 7 days a week instead of 4. When he traveled we would split the work 50/50 when he was home, but that ended up with me doing an unequal share overall because I was home so much more often. Now we REALLY split it 50/50 (some tasks we alternate, some tasks we own) and I love, love, love it.
Katala says
Yes. He is the one who dropped out of the workforce to take care of the kids and the house. He really struggles with feeling fulfilled because he thinks so much of what he does now is mind numbing and not contributing (which, I can understand why you feel that way cooking and doing dishes and cleaning up after kids). He’s burned out and so am I. It was much better before when he worked part time for himself and we could hire more help. We’ll get back to something like that eventually but it’s hard to see the path there at the moment.
Anonanonanon says
So this is a great read but maybe I consume media in a bubble (I do) but I haven’t seen ANYONE frame this as “women are enjoying being at home”
Anon says
Is there a guide to figure out how much to pay a nanny? I need a nanny in the fall for my toddler (and my kindergartner after school), and I have no idea how much to pay.
Anon says
It varies a lot by geography! Do you have anyone you can ask? You could also post on a local parents facebook group or something like that? I live in Brooklyn so used the Park Slope Parents guide to get a sense of the ranges (which in 2016 were around 17 an hour for full time, I imagine higher now).
Anon says
Where I live it’s usually $20-25 an hour, but you might check around on local parenting groups to see what the going rate in your area is.
anon says
local parenting group, also nanny agencies (though they’re incentivized to say on the high end since they usually get a % of first year pay for placement).
Anon says
As someone who recently hired a nanny for the first time, be aware that most of the posted information/ranges is in off-the-books (or post-tax) dollars. I assumed (incorrectly) that most people paid on the books and that the numbers I found reflected that. So if you will be paying on the books, you’ll need to do the math accordingly.
Signed, someone who thought the going rate was $20-25 and is paying $32 because we pay on the books.
The New Mrs says
I posted a while ago about changing my name after having a baby. I got my order and am in the process of changing everything. Only one person who I have told (so far) had a reaction worse than I catastrophized: the managing partner at my firm who is also a friend. Cool, cool. She’s over it now, but still. ANYWAY! One of the fun part is getting a return address label/stamp with our family name. What are your favorite vendors for this? Or maybe it doesn’t really matter?
Mary Moo Cow says
Paper Source-Three Designing Women is the brand, I think. They carry different ink colors so you can switch it up for holidays if you are extra like me. Shutterfly used to but I can’t find it anymore.
Anon says
I’ve gotten them made on Etsy and honestly all the vendors seemed the same.
Anon. says
Yep, this is the answer.
Spirograph says
I donate to charities and therefore have a never-ending supply of return address labels (whyyyy???).
I did get some seasonal [lastname] Family address labels printed for Xmas cards from Vistaprint a few years ago. They were completely adequate. I’ve used a few others over the years and used to love picking out my own personalized one from a catalog when I was a kid. I don’t think there’s an appreciable difference in quality for any of them unless you go really fancy with embossing and the like.
Anonymous says
I’m boring but we just printed out a sheet using Avery labels and Microsoft Word and called it a day.
Anonymous says
Recently got one from Zazzle, and it was pretty cheap and decent quality.
Anon says
My 3 year old almost gave my husband a heart attack last night because she was taking these weird gasping breaths and when he asked her if she was having problems breathing she said yes. He called me in all panicked and I realized that she had just watched the Daniel Tiger asthma episode and was just pretending to have asthma. It became totally clear when she held a bottle up to her face and pretended to inhale through it saying “this is my asthma medicine!” This is not even the first time she’s done this with Daniel Tiger. She told her teachers she was allergic to peaches after watching the food allergy episode and they called us all confused because she doesn’t have any allergies on file with the school. Clearly we need to have more discussions about pretend vs real if she’s going to keep watching this show…
Anonymous says
I haven’t seen that particular episode, but ever since my childhood I’ve noticed that kids’ TV shows sort of glamorize differences, disability, illness, and injury–look, this kid is SO SPECIAL because she has XYZ health condition! Or this kid broke his leg, don’t his crutches look fun?
Anon says
yes, as a kid i thought it would be cool to have diabetes to be like Stacey from the Babysitters Club
Anonanonanon says
Everyone thinking she had an eating disorder because she ate SALAD as a young teen was big drama!
Pogo says
Yes, I always wanted to be on crutches because you got special treatment at school. And the kids with diabetes got to have snack when the rest of us didn’t. It is a difficult concept to explain to kids, striking a balance between being inclusive and glamorizing it.
Anonanonanon says
Ugh I’m so happy we phased out DT. It made my kid act like a total brat. She took away all the wrong lessons from it, instead of learning to talk about her feelings she decided being sad/mad got you attention per the episodes.
Anon says
What did you switch to, if anything? We really need some screen time in the morning to get her hair brushed and her sunscreen on (she fights us if she doesn’t have a show to watch). But I’m not loving DT either.
Anonymous says
On the actual tv, we usually see what is on PBS and Disney Jr. and let kiddo choose. DT is rarely on at the right time for us to hit it in the morning. I despise Pinkalicious, so sometimes if that is an option, I don’t tell her. Usually it is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or another Mickey and friends show on Disney Jr and Sid the Science Kid or Molly of Denali on PBS.
AwayEmily says
I hate Pinkalicious too! It’s weird, usually all the PBS shows are great but that particular one is just unbelievably grating.
Anonymous says
The books are even worse. How that ever became a PBS thing, I’ll never understand.
Pogo says
Curious George is the PBS one I hate the most. It seems like its ALWAYS on in our area. First of all, dude is keeping an exotic animal in NYC. Not a great look. Also, George is promoting mischief and mayhem as a hilariously fun thing to do. No thank you.
Anon says
Curious George is low key racist. I g00gled this and felt very validated to find that academics have written papers about it.
Anon says
*I meant to say I feel like Curious George is low key racist. Most people I know don’t agree with me so that’s why I felt validated when I found the academic papers.
Anonymous says
I use nature documentaries or gardening shows
AwayEmily says
Not Anonanonanon but we also do quick TV in the morning and some that my 3yo and 5yo’s favorites are Elinor Wonders Why (PBS), Esme and Roy (HBO), Superhero Elementary (PBS), and Puffin Rock (Netflix). All are like Daniel Tiger in that they have two mini-episodes per half hour, which is the perfect amount of time for morning viewing.
Anonanonanon says
Nothing about feelings or arguing lol. Dora the Explorer and Ready Jet Go (amazon, about science and space) are our morning go-tos. Disney plus has some show where a girl is a detective?I think “Mira Royal Detective” and she seems into that.
Pogo says
Honestly, we let him watch Youtube on his iPad. He watches primarily videos of trucks (like Truck Tunes) or sometimes I look over and he’s watching an actual John Deere promo video or something. He also watches unboxing videos of Duplos or Legos. I like it because the videos are short so it’s just enough to distract him between tooth brushing and medicine etc.
For actual shows, he loves Paw Patrol which I find neutral, doesn’t promote like amazing life lessons but is generally harmless, and his love for the lesser of the Patrol touches my heart (“Why is there no Zuma or Rocky, mommy? Where is Tracker and Everest?” – him about every piece of merch). Blaze seems to have actual educational value, I will hear him following along and counting or doing easy subtraction. So I’d say that’s my “favorite” once you’re past the DT stage and looking for semi-educational.
Anon Lawyer says
This reminds me of when my then-4-year-old niece said something mean to my mom and she responded “that hurt my feelings.” My niece shot back “you’re responsible for your feelings, not me.”
anon says
Have you thought about getting your 3 yo into acting? That sounds like an impressive performance!
Anon says
Lol, yes!! Impressive performances is right. One time she even tried to convince my husband I hit her (obviously I did not). It was Academy Award-worthy. It is borderline concerning to me how smoothly she lies, or creates this alternate reality, or whatever you want to call it. But theater definitely seems like a positive way to channel it. She was supposed to take a theater class this summer but we opted out for lack of Covid protocols. It’s at the top of our list for activities once she’s vaccinated.
Anonymous says
Any low key resorts you love in the Caribbean that allow children but don’t expressly cater to them? Daydreaming about a beach vacation this winter once our whole family is vaccinated, but searches for family travel turn up lots of recommendations for Atlantis-type places which is not what we want right now. DD is 3, still skittish around deep water and too young for waterslides and other theme park-like attractions. She’ll be happy anywhere that has sand, literally. DH and I would love a nice resort with good food and a spa. Excellent snorkeling right at the resort would be a big plus, but I know that can be hard to find.
Anonymous says
Following with interest. My kiddo’s winter break is the week before Christmas and the week after. With Christmas on a Saturday, I’m low-key looking for vacation ideas the week before Christmas.
oil in houston says
club med! (although they do have kids clubs)
anne-on says
I know you said Caribbean, but we’re doing Orlando shortly (didn’t want to do an international flight) and the pool/spa/activities at the Four Seasons there look amazeballs. I’ve also done the JW Marriot/Ritz in Orlando (They’re linked by the grounds, so you can stay at the Marriot but have access to the Ritz amenities). The pool complex is fantastic, the Ritz has a wonderful kids program (was down for a work conference, and lots of co-workers brought their families) and the spa/golf/tennis and food were all top-notch.
Pogo says
I was going to say any Four Seasons in the Caribbean, actually. We stayed at the one in St Kitts (island of Nevis) and it fits the bill with pool/spa/golf/activities/dining and it’s not explicitly pro or anti kid. I think one pool is adult-only? Didn’t have kids at the time. They have condos you can rent on the property, too, I think.
Anon says
+1 I haven’t been to any of the Caribbean ones, but the Four Seasons chain definitely is upscale and adult-oriented but also totally welcoming to kids (and pets).
NYCer says
Basically any resort along Grace Bay in Turks & Caicos.
Anonymous says
We stayed at the Karisma Generations Riviera Maya with our kids a few years ago. It was really great- there is a kids area, they are welcomed, but its not themed KIDS like some places are. Excellent food too. Still one of the best vacations we’ve ever been on. I don’t remember snorkeling but you could probably find an excursion that does it, and they have nanny and kids club services.
Lyssa says
+1, we’ve actually got plans to visit there soon. Husband and I stayed at the sister resort, which is adults-only, a few years ago, and really liked it. We visited the Generations side a couple of times and it looked really nice.
Also for OP, we stayed in the Paradises in the Dominican Republic several years ago, and it was really nice. Pretty low-key, extremely friendly. There’s a family-friendly side to the resort, but it wasn’t really kid-oriented so much as kid-friendly. I think it would be great for littler kids who don’t need a ton of major stimulations.
Anonymous says
Thanks for these random reviews! DH and I are going on a non-kids vacation later this year to this resort (the adults only). I’m so excited!
Anon says
Windsong Turks and Caicos (Coral Gardens is a more budget alternative on the same beach) has amazing snorkeling. We saw turtles every time we went out, a ray, and lots of fish. The resort is kind of weird, we didn’t really like it, but the location can’t be beat. It’s not AI and we went off the resort for meals. I thought most of the food we ate on T&C was mediocre, but we had a baby and didn’t go to any fancy places.
Sugar Beach St Lucia is a gorgeous high-end resort (celebs vacation there) with decent snorkeling. I didn’t see rays or turtles but there are plenty of fish and the scenery is gorgeous with the Piton mountains. We purchased a meal package and the food at the resort was very good. The staff was way friendlier than at Windsong. I’ve heard the best snorkeling in St. Lucia, especially for turtles, is at Anse Chastenet but they have a minimum age for kids (I want to say 12?). We plan to go there eventually, either alone or with teens. Loved St. Lucia in general, I think it’s my favorite Caribbean island because it has the beautiful mountains.
Anonymous says
Can confirm. We did Anse Chastanet for our honeymoon. Best snorkeling I’ve ever had directly off the beach. Kids over 12 allowed but not encouraged. I saw maybe 2-3 the whole time we were there.
Pogo says
ha, I remember looking at all of these places when we ended up at the Four Seasons I mentioned above. They all looked great.
Anonymous says
Kiawah in SC but you just have to watch your kiddo w/ the gators that are everywhere. They won’t come to you but there is no barrier to keep her from running up to them.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Oooh you’ve all given me some great ideas for a winter trip for the family this year. This would be my youngest’s first plane trip, but I think at 3 he should be ok. And I think my 5 year old would love it. Are we are all thinking that kids 2+ will be eligible for vaccines by December?
Anon says
I’m probably going to have a stroke if they’re not – I have found the wait to get my kid vaccinated much harder and more stressful than the wait to get myself vaccinated, especially with everyone starting to do away with mask requirements, even in schools. Pfizer has said they expect to have the data to request authorization for 2+ in September. Allowing a month for the FDA to approve, that puts kids getting first shots by early November and being fully vaccinated in December. My only fear is that with infection rates in the US falling fast they won’t get the data as fast as they’d hoped.
anon says
This is the time line I’m hoping for as well (if it all magically goes as planned maybe first shots by Thanksgiving??) but also worry that it will be slower due to less virus prevelance.
School Bus says
There’s an option for my 4 year old to ride the school bus home next year. She’d be on the bus with ages kindergarten to grade six. I’m nervous about it because of how young she is, but I don’t want to underestimate the benefits of independence. What would you do? Or what would you consider in making your decision?
Anon says
I think it’s very young, especially if everyone else on the bus will be in elementary school. If you need to do it for your schedule, that’s one thing, but I certainly wouldn’t to it just to teach your child independence. You’ll have plenty of opportunities for that later. If you were anxious about your 12 year old riding the bus, it would be a totally different story.
TheElms says
Before considering whether she is mature enough, I’d want to know what type of child restraint they have on the bus. I wouldn’t be comfortable with a 4 year old can just sitting on a bus seat without a harness/restraint.
Anonymous says
This. I also worry about the safety of a 4-year-old climbing on and off the bus. That first step is HUGE.
Anon says
also think about how much time it will add to her day. again, if you can’t transport her that is one thing, but if you can and she is the first one picked up/last one dropped off that can be a long day for her
Anonanonanon says
I would want to know more about how they know when to get off (does the driver track that? is the 4 yo supposed to pay attention and remember?) and the seatbelt situation. How many kids are there usually to a seat? What grades are on the bus? I wouldn’t want my 4-year-old on a bus with 11-year-olds.
So Anon says
As an intermediate step, could you send her to school on the bus and arrange a car pool pick-up? That will give her some independence without having to rely on her/the bus driver to get off at the correct stop.
Anonymous says
Re. getting off at the correct stop, our school system requires elementary school parents to meet their children at the bus stop.
anon says
My kids will be 4.5 next year and we’re planning to send them on the bus. Their school is preK through 8th grade, so they will be on the bus with older kids, but they put the little kids in the front seats and have a bus monitor in addition to the driver, so we’re not too worried about that. The carpool alternative is that we drive 25 minutes each way to drop them off in the morning and pick them up, but most 4yos ride the bus.
The biggest issue for me is car seat safety (e.g. my kids are still in 5-point harnesses but the buses just rely on compartmentalization), but I think we’re still going to go with it.
Anon says
I would not. My four-year-old rode the bus last year to preK, but it was a short bus and only his grade. This year, he’s on a big bus with only grades K-1. Age 4 with age 10/11 seems like a huge gap and could be very stressful depending on how rowdy everyone is.
I wouldn’t worry about actual physical safety, though; buses are so large and there are different factors in play that make it much safer than a car, even without a restraint.
Toddler Sleep Help! says
We had to take the side off my young 2 year old’s (2 yrs 3 months) crib because she started climbing out consistently. Now bedtime is a huge struggle. She was never great with sleep/bedtime, but now she spends an hour getting in and out of her bed before I can get her to settle down enough to go to sleep. How do you get your young 2 year old to actually stay in their bed long enough to wind down and fall asleep?
Related, she’s really interested in pillows. Like she loves laying on the pillows on my bed. So I think getting her a pillow could help her be more excited to stay in bed, but I want something relatively flat/firm since she’s never had a pillow before. It’s so hard to tell online the loft, firmness, etc. Any good recs?
Anonymous says
Not the answer you are looking for, but when we switched my older kid to a bed we started lying down with him while he went to sleep and are still doing it at six. It doesn’t take long.
anon says
She’s over two so I’d just get her a normal pillow. There are many reasonable options at Target or BB&B. Toddler pillows are usually for smaller kids.
Anon. says
No advice on staying in bed as my oldest never even attempted to crawl out of his crib before we moved him to the toddler bed at three, but following with interest as my youngest is going to be like this I fear.
For pillows, I think just about any toddler sized pillow is going to be pretty flat as compared to an adult pillow.
Anonymous says
Make their room boring. Tell them to be quiet, and let it go. My youngest would wander around, and fall asleep eventually on the floor (or in the closet). My oldest has always gone right to sleep.
For pillows, we demoted some overused guest pillows for the kids and upgraded the guest pillows.
Anonymous says
Avocado mattresses has a splurgy toddler-size pillow if you want a green option. It’s kind of lumpy (I wouldn’t like it), but my toddler seems to like it.
Anon says
Can she escape her room? If not, could you just say good night and turn out the lights and leave her in her room even if she’s not in bed? My kid doesn’t have any problems with bedtime at night, but she fights naps and that’s what we do at nap time. I know it’s a little different though since sleep is more optional at nap time.
My 3 year old still uses a toddler pillow but I agree a normal pillow would also be fine at this age.
Patty Mayonnaise says
ISO recs for chapter books to read to a (pretty sensitive) 4 year old? We’ve been making our way through Charlotte’s Web before bed and he’s really into it (though I have to edit some as I read). Would love some suggestions that we’d both enjoy!
EDAnon says
My kid is pretty sensitive and likes most of the Magic Treehouse. Sometimes, if the cover is scary, we flip though and look at the pictures to confirm everyone is okay. He has favorites and we tend to read those over and over…
AwayEmily says
My Father’s Dragon, the Jasmine Green Rescues series, Sophie Mouse series, Zoey and Sassafrass series. All very low-key (my kid is also sensitive and could NOT handle the stress in Magic Treehouse).
Anonymous says
I still think the Winnie the Pooh books are really funny.
anon says
My 4 yo adores Dragon Masters by Tracy West
Anon says
+1 ours love these. Honestly Charlotte’s Web is pretty heavy stuff! Most stuff will easier to deal with than that one.
My kids really like Ramona right now.
Katala says
We started Charlotte’s Web last night and my preggo brain was not quick enough to edit, plus my 6 year old would 100% correct me since he reads along. Chapter 1, yikes. I may see if they mention it tonight and if not move on to something else for now.
Anonymous says
Ramona Quimby
Homer Price
Mr. Popper’s Penguins
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Betsy-Tacy
The Phantom Tollbooth
Winnie the Pooh
Anon says
My 3 year old loves the Clementine series and I even find myself chuckling along as I read. I think of them as a more modern Ramona Quimby, and it helps that DD has curly hair (and gets into very creative scrapes) just like Clementine.
Anonymous says
Mine was only just starting to touch toes into chapter books at 4 despite being extremely verbal- there’s a huge swing in what he enjoyed listening to between 4-5. At 4.5 /around 5, he enjoyed My Father’s Dragon trilogy, the first two Little House books plus Farmer Boy (we editorialize a lot with most kid century books and skipped the part of Farmer Boy where the big boys tried to kill the teacher), James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Also My Side of the Mountain, which DID NOT WORK closer to 4. Closer to 5.5 we got into the rest of Dahl, Homer Price, the Fudge books, etc.
So Anon says
I need a reality check: I had planned on my kids and I spending this weekend with my mom. We were going to spend the weekend at our family lakefront cabin (about 45 min away). When I spoke with my mom yesterday, she said that she wasn’t feeling great. I checked in with her today, and she texted that she still isn’t feeling great – doesn’t have energy and also has a cold sore. (Note that for my mom to say she isn’t feeling well is probably a vast understatement of how she is actually feeling. She is tough as nails and doesn’t admit to being sick easily.) I said that I was concerned that the kids and I shouldn’t spend the weekend out at the lakehouse because while I do not believe that she has COVID (fully vaxed for a while), any virus – or kid not feeling well – requires us to go through the testing protocol and a negative test before returning to school. She snapped back that this is clearly just a virus. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to keep my kids and I home this weekend?
Anonanonanon says
How often do you get to see your mom normally? Like is she traveling from 12 hours away to go to the cabin that is 45 min away? Asking because to me this is a no-brainer stay home situation. As you pointed out, probably not COVID, but the kids’ schools aren’t going to accept “my mom is vaxxed and I’m sure it’s not COVID” and you’re going to have to do Doc appts/tests/days off work etc. if they catch a cold. If this can be rescheduled at all, I would.
So Anon says
She lives 15 minutes away from me, and we see each other all of the time. This visit is very easily rescheduled, but I am taken aback by the unstated assertion that I am being unreasonable. (this largely hits on a nerve from my emotionally abusive marriage.)
Anonymous says
You are not the one being unreasonable here.
Anonanonanon says
Oh gosh I forgot it’s just you right now, too! That’s all the more reason, you definitely do not need to deal with sick days for you and kiddos that could have been prevented!!! I’m so sorry she’s not being more understanding, that really, really stinks.
Also, being sick just isn’t fun, even if it’s not COVID.
Pogo says
This is my take, but I’m so burned from like 4 weeks straight of this nonsense with a close contact, allergies and then Lyme disease in the midst of my busy season at work.
EDAnon says
I am home with a kid that has a virus (not tested yet but pretty confident it’s not COVID). It’s so frustrating to be out for so long each time someone gets sick. I kinda love having them home but it’s so much work to catch up later. I would probably not go if she’s sick. Maybe if she feels a lot better tomorrow you could go just for Saturday night?
Note my perspective is skewed because my parents live over 1,000 miles away!
Anonymous says
Getting your kids COVID-tested if they come down with it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, especially if you can get test results quickly where you are so you know you won’t have to keep them home for more than a day or so. (Also, her response cracks me up – COVID is just a virus).
Anonymous says
PS – Upon further thought, I guess my response depends on the specific protocol at your school – can you send them back to school if they have mild-symptoms and a negative COVID test, or do they have to be 100% symptom free? My son gets COVID-tested at school constantly, and we’ve done it privately several times for different reasons, so I’m less concerned about the hassle of that.
So Anon says
Our school district requires 100% symptom free. I am in a small New England town, and we have averaged about 1 positive student case per week (in a K-8) school over the last two months.
Anon says
I would probably not care personally, but I also think it’s completely reasonable to skip the weekend, given that you see her frequently.
NYCer says
+1. I think there is more than one reasonable answer in this scenario.
Not sure when you are planning to leave, but can you decide tomorrow/Saturday? Maybe she will be feeling fine by then.
Anon says
even if it’s not covid, why expose your kid to any virus on purpose. in pre-covid times would you go to a playdate with another kid knowing the other kid was under the weather? especially given all of the time out of school kids have already had this year why lead to the potential for more?
Anon says
In pre-covid times I didn’t give a second thought to meeting up with people who had colds. I thought it was good for my kid’s immune system. I mean, it is. It’s just now it’s scary because cold-like symptoms could actually be a much more serious virus.
Anon says
I would skip. I don’t see evidence to think her just-a-virus wouldn’t be contagious.
Best case: Even if they can go back to school/childcare if they have mild symptoms and test negative, they’ll likely be out at least a couple days just to test and get the results back. No way would I voluntarily add disruptions when children have experienced so many, especially if I needed to work. I’d also be annoyed if a fellow parent at daycare knowingly let their kid come in with a bug and started a chain of kids getting symptoms having to stay out pending test results.
If they get sicker, that’s so much worse, both in terms of disruption and taking care of them. Around me, it’s difficult to get medical care if sick with Covid-like symptoms, even with a negative Covid test, short of going to the ER (even if only office visit/urgent care is necessary) or driving to a health system’s one clinic for Covid-like symptoms many towns away.
Anonymous says
So it seems like your mom might not respond to this strategy the best, but I’d say something along the lines of “Mom, why don’t we reschedule for a time when you’re feeling better. I’d hate to see you feeling ill and not getting the rest you need. We also want to go at a time when you can enjoy it the most.” Especially with a family cabin 45 minutes away. You can easily reschedule.
Anonymous says
I would have rescheduled even pre-COVID. I don’t want my kids or myself to catch “just a virus,” thank you very much. Even less so now that a sniffle could keep them out of school for quite some time.
Anonymous says
I would reschedule based on our school’s requirements, which would mean at least one day at home but likely more (see, eg, first grader who caught a cold at school – he missed one day, then little brother missed one day when he caught it and spouse had to take time off work to get him tested, then little brother’s nanny missed a day when SHE caught it… very likely your mom isn’t thinking about those logistics, which are what I would use to explain to my own parents.
SC says
I would reschedule. My son missed 4 days of school with croup last week. DH is a SAHD, but he spent one morning getting a Covid test and another morning taking Kiddo to the doctor. It interfered with DH’s birthday celebration last week. We “lost” last weekend because Kiddo was still recovering. This week, DH and I are both sick. So now, the house is a mess, we’re way behind on laundry, and we’re exhausted at the end of every day. We’ll probably need to stay in this weekend to recover and catch up for next week.
Anon says
Adult croup is the worst! I had in 2019. I didn’t have the barking cough that kids get but it knocked me out like no other virus has since the swine flu 10 years earlier.
Anonymous says
Based on yesterday’s conversation that it’s NOT POSSIBLE (gasp) to expect employees to be vaccinated because of LEGAL REASONS (shock and dismay), what’s the thought on Saks requiring all staff to vaccinated?
Are they doomed to bankruptcy and dissolution?
Anonymous says
I really don’t understand where people are getting that you can’t require the vax because of “legal reasons.” The major university system in my state is requiring it for all faculty, staff, and students (there are pretty narrow medical and religious exemption options). And they’re not the only university system doing so. If they’ve figured it out legally, so can lots of other places.
Anon says
But it depends on state law, which varies a lot. I don’t think anyone was claiming no employers can mandate vaccines, just saying not all of them can. My state hasn’t (yet) interfered with private employers, but has banned all government entities from requiring proof of vaccination so my employer (a state university) legally cannot mandate the vaccines for staff or students. My daycare is run by the university and bound by the same rules. It’s not about just not putting in the effort to “figure it out,” they’re just governed by different laws than a NY-based company like Saks. They’re doing what they can – offering incentives to the vaccinated and penalizing the vaccinated by requiring them to submit to constant testing – but they can’t require employees to be vaccinated because of what our legislature has done.
Anon says
*penalizing the unvaccinated, of course
Anon says
Also, even if the legislature weren’t interfering, most red state businesses won’t mandate it simply because they’d lose over half their workforce and wouldn’t be able to easily replace those people. There are a dozen or so states in the US, including mine, where less than half of adults have gotten vaccinated at this point. If you think all employers can/will mandate the vaccine without repercussions to their business, you live in a blue bubble. I’m a huge advocate of the vaccine – I got it, I can’t wait for my kids to get, I wish businesses would mandate it, but it’s just not that simple when up to 60% of your state population is anti-vax.
Anonymous says
Oh I understand that it will vary by state but yesterday people were making blanket pronouncements that it can’t be required anywhere… Which is just not true!
Anonymous says
Someone was very insistent that vaccines CANNOT be required of childcare providers the other day and seemed extremely angry.
Anon says
No, no one made a blanket statement like that. People were pointing out that 1) different states have different rules and some states are preventing or trying to prevent at least certain kinds of employers from mandating it and 2) what Anonanonanon said, that many employers are hesitant to mandate it while it’s still an EUA because it is more of a legal gray area until the vaccine is fully licensed and hopefully it will be fully licensed in a couple months, so there isn’t a huge downside to waiting.
Anonanonanon says
I don’t even know why I’m bothering, but that was not the conversation yesterday.
The hospitals I work with, which represent multiple corporate entities, have chosen, based on advice from their legal counsel, not to mandate employee COVID-19 vaccination until the EUA is lifted. Several do mandate influenza vaccination. No one said it was impossible, but to make a blanket statement that anyone who says some businesses have decided it’s not worth mandating until the EUA is lifted doesn’t know what they’re talking about is also inaccurate.
Sidenote, I found it interesting that different healthcare facilities’ attorneys came down on different sides of whether it was OK to offer incentives to employees for getting vaccinated. (ranging from a Starbucks gift card to additional paid vacation days). Some said go for it, some said absolutely not. I’m not sure how powerful “but for the $10 Starbucks gift card, I would not have gotten vaccinated!” is, but I’m not an attorney. It will be very interesting to see how all of this shakes out over the next few years!
Anon says
I was skeptical of incentives too, but I will say I heard three 20-something women at my kid’s soccer class talking about how they aren’t getting the vaccine but would get it if they lived in Ohio, because apparently Ohio is giving away $1M each to five fully vaccinated people. I was kind of shocked that the lottery incentive appeared to work, but there you have it. Tiny sample size of course, and they were clearly not “it’s a microchip that’s going to change my DNA!” people but more “I’m young and healthy and already had the virus/not scared of getting it” people. I doubt anything short of a lobotomy could convince the former group.
Anonymous says
Do you really want me to go pull quotes from yesterday?
Companies are and can mandate vaccines. Maybe not in all jurisdictions, because Republicans will join a death cult instead of having to share.
So saying it’s inaccurate is inaccurate.
Anonanonanon says
If it would make you feel better I certainly won’t stop you! You’re definitely more invested in it than I am, so your memory of the conversation is probably clearer.
I only remember one person saying companies aren’t because of a grey area, then admitting that’s just what they heard on NPR, then a few people saying their states will not allow employers to mandate. I really don’t think there was a vocal majority adamant that it is impossible for companies to mandate it.
All of that aside, please don’t put the possibility of Saks disappearing into the universe! We’ve lost enough department stores as it is!