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I’ve been trying to upgrade my kids’ dining accessories by moving away from cheap plastic with weird chemicals and into friendlier pieces. These simple plates (which seem expensive, but do come in a pack of 3) are a hit thus far — they’re “BPA, Phthalate, PVC and Melamine FREE,” dishwasher safe, and made from recycled milk jugs — huzzah. The trickiest part is deciding which color pack you like the best. They’re $10-$12 at Amazon for a three-pack. Ladies, which are your favorite kids’ dining accessories? The Soft Landing had their last roundup in 2012, if that’s helpful to you. Re-Play Divided Plates
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- Boden – 15% off new styles
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- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
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- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anonymous says
We totally skipped these divided plates. I have a 2.5 year old and she either eats off of our family plastic plates (melamine white from crate and barrel) or in a bowl. We have a full set of white dishes, but we started using these plastic plates once we realized that if we store them on a low shelf, our kid can set the table, clear the plates and load them into the dishwasher without breaking anything :) So what started as our outdoor picnic plates have really become our stand by family dinnerware. Of course, when company comes over we use real plates…
ABA says
We love the ezpz mats! http://www.ezpzfun.com/ I use the mini mat for my son’s Ikea high chair and it fits perfectly. When he moves out of the high chair we may get the bigger sized mat. It’s also easy to fold up and take traveling with you or to restaurants.
pockets says
I have divided plates and my only advice is that once you buy one, buy only that brand. Otherwise you end up with three different types of divided plates AND THEY DON’T STACK.
JJ says
Yes! We kept being gifted seasonal divided plates. They were cute, but they DID NOT STACK and made our cabinet a haphazard mess.
Clementine says
I try to avoid plastic and was considering using enameled metal camping plates as our ‘kid dishes’. Is this a terrible idea? Should I just suck it up and buy plastic plates?
Mine are something like these: http://www.sears.com/coleman-enamel-12-pc-dining-set/p-00639656000P?prdNo=1&blockNo=1&blockType=G1
Lyssa says
I would definitely stick with something that you can microwave.
NewMomAnon says
Enameled metal would get hot if you put hot food on it (and cold if you put, you know, cold food on it). If you’re trying to avoid plastic, maybe look at Corelle? My kiddo has literally thrown a bowl on the tile floor, and it was fine. Microwavable, dishwasher safe, and mine are plain white so they don’t look obnoxious.
Anons says
We use stainless steel for our toddler. I love it. Easy to clean, unbreakable, and no toxins. I’m a bit suspicious that any plastic substance could ever truly be nontoxic. Yes, it can get hot or cold to the touch, but we never serve food to our toddler until it is cool enough for her to eat it. Not being able to microwave the plates is not an issue. We store most of our food in glass in the fridge, so we either heat things up in the glass container or put her food on a separate plate to microwave. Everything we have is dishwasher safe, so one extra dish to clean is not a big deal. I’m considering getting a whole serif stainless for the family, I love it so much.
Anonymous says
+1 The science on plastics and safety is constantly changing. I don’t microwave or put in dishwasher any plastic plates, cups, etc., and we only use them for the kids to use outside.
In the house we’ve had a lot of luck with glass bowls and glasses (French tempered glass, Duralex brand, you can buy from Mighty Nest) since about 2 years old. We’ve lost one or two to breakage over these 5 years but that’s not bad, and the kids have learned to handle them with care. Since they are glass they can safely go in dishwasher or microwave.
Before 2, we had stainless steel bowls with plastic lids to take out and about or use without lids in the house, and glass bottles for milk. When my guys were wee little, there wasn’t as much stainless around.
If I were starting from scratch today I would get couple of sets of stainless steel bowls, cups, and plates.
Clementine says
Yeah, this is what I’m thinking. I have a set of these old school enameled metal dishes that I think might just end up being our kid dishes- they can go in the dishwasher (shocking, I know).
Thanks for the microwaveable point and the plate getting hot point. I don’t think either of those are deal-breakers for me, they both have pretty easy solutions. I mean, if the food is hot enough to make the plate hot enough to where I’m concerned, I probably shouldn’t be giving it to a toddler, right? (No snark here, logically thinking it through.)
We also just avoid plastic in the microwave. It’s 50% ‘avoiding all the crap that leeches out’ and 50% ‘I hate that it stains and can possibly melt so why bother’.
shortperson says
we do exactly the same — toddler eats off of metal dishes (http://www.amazon.com/LunchBots-Childrens-Stainless-Dish-Set/dp/B003KN27QO) and has been drinking out of little glass cups since she was 13 months or so (http://www.forsmallhands.com/kitchen/serving-clean-up/first-glass-set). she brings planetbox lunchboxes to school. when she was a baby we used pura kiki metal and lifefactory glass bottles. these products have all been great, but definitely more of an investment than plastic.
In House Lobbyist says
I finally got rid of our plastic divided plates for numerous reasons and went with the 10 inch Corelle plates. We are loving them and they are holding up well.
Meg Murry says
We use Corelle with our kids more than plastic as well.
We tend to use the shallow rimmed bowls even more than plates or bowls because kids can carry them with less chance of the food sliding off onto the floor, but food like hot pasta cools more quickly than in a deeper bowl.
Example:http://www.corelle.com/livingware-winter-frost-white-15-oz-bowl/6017636.html
Quail says
Possibly divisive question: life decisions based on kid’s school. This will out me to anyone I know irl, but oh well. Here’s the deal. I moved to the east coast from the Midwest for grad school and ended up staying. I live in a pretty cool small city where almost no children of my coworkers go to public school. The school system is full of charters and almost no neighborhood schools and it’s lottery based. I believe strongly in public school for many reasons, not the least of which is that I can’t fathom paying more than my college tuition for first grade. I get the sense that private school is the expectation and after-care, transportation etc options are much easier for private school because that’s what everyone does. My toddler is far from first grade, but we are not far from choosing a preschool, which matters for which public school you have preference for (and of course it matters for private school admission). The culture around this public/private choice is so strong out here it makes me want to move back to the Midwest(specifically Chicago, though I am not from there) , which is possible but would mean abandoning professional networks I’ve worked hard to develop. I would get paid more (or at least the same with COL) and we’d be in driving rather than flying distance to our families.
However it’s possible the culture is not an east coast problem but rather that times have changed since I was a kid and it will be the same in Chicago. We would like to not live in the suburbs if we can avoid it to avoid the commute. City-dwellers, do you all experience this where you live? What calculations have you made? Can any Midwesterners chime in?
Anonymous says
are you considering Charter schools public or private? It’s not clear from your email if your choice is charter vs private or public vs charter vs private.
Not in the midwest, but I grew up in Dallas, where public schools were (and probably still are, but it’s been decades) awful. My parents sent us all to private school, and it was pricey, but they made it a priority. We didn’t do fancy vacations or have nice cars. We just went to private school.
I now live on the east coast, and the cost for the same caliber of private school I went to is vastly different. My Dallas high school is $25-30k/year and schools of equal caliber in my new area are $60k (AND THOSE ARE DAY STUDENT PRICES!). After talking with people up here, it’s because the public schools are a solid and viable option whereas in Dallas, they were not. I’m not sure where on the east coast you are, but in my area it is very much the norm to go to good public schools (which are in the burbs), but there are private options.
JJ says
I grew up in the Dallas area, as well, and went to a pricey private school (hi! we may know each other!). I agree completely with you. We live in a Dallas ‘burb, specifically because the Dallas public schools anywhere near where we wanted to live in Dallas were awful. Private school tuitions would be 20K each for my boys. I’d MUCH rather use that money to build equity in a house and save it for my kids, so we moved to a suburb with exceptional public schools.
Charter public schools are very popular here as a middle-of-the-road option, but there’s no guarantee you’ll get in.
It’s not a divisive question – every family with kids eventually has to answer this question for themselves and I’m firmly a believer in what works for one family may not work for others (“Good for you, not for me” as Amy Poehler says).
Quail says
Thanks for the stories, both Dallas ladies – I agree that what works is what’s best.
Quail says
I think the charters are part of the same lottery system as the regular public schools. I guess they might be magnets, not charters. What I’ve heard is that it’s possible you get assigned to a school that’s far away because there are so few neighborhood schools. I know people choose private because they think the education is bad; I just don’t know what “bad” means because i don’t know anyone whose kid attends. That’s the parental social aspect as well. And it’s definitely not the same in the suburbs, but that would increase our commute a lot.
Atlanta Mom says
Find out. Ask a realtor. Go tour the public schools. Ask the PTA parents. Talk to the principals, the teachers.
FWIW I live in suburban Atlanta, a place with “terrible” public schools – according to the parents who paid top-dollar to live here to take advantage of our good housing values because of the high-quality public schools and then send their kid to private schools. I graduated from these same public schools, but, you know “It’s changed so much since then…”
I think that’s bunk. I don’t see a problem with my kid going to a good public school alongside kids from “apartments” (yeah, that’s code for… somethings) or who don’t speak English at home. In fact, I only see benefits. There are great programs that are well-supported for everyone to take advantage of. Find out more. It’s never too early.
PS: For better or for worse, you might get redistricted, anyway. Get on mailing lists to find out more and get involved.
Quail says
Thanks! These are all really, really good ideas. It is definitely not too early, and I obviously need to be better informed and more involved. My coworkers don’t have any info since they opted out.
It’s exactly that faux-fear racism/classism that I’m worried about. I’m hoping my kid’s school reflects the cross-section of the city we live in.
Quail says
I think the charters are part of the same lottery system as the regular public schools. I guess they might be magnets, not charters. What I’ve heard is that it’s possible you get assigned to a school that’s far away because there are so few neighborhood schools. I know people choose private because they think the education is bad; I just don’t know what “bad” means because i don’t know anyone whose kid attends. That’s the parental social aspect as well. And it’s definitely not the same problem in the suburbs, but that would increase our commute a lot. It’s just so different than what I remember from my suburban childhood (test prep for admission to middle school!) and maybe I have to let go of that to live in a city, or be ready to be the weird one who goes public.
Anonymous says
No specific advice on midwest but lots of empathy. I’m a big believer in the value of a non-charter public school education. Nothing like learning to stop complaining about having to practice playing piano when you whine to your 8 year old friend and she tells you that she dreams of taking piano lessons but her parents can’t afford it. In my experience higher end well established neighborhoods will have better quality public schools.
We moved home to be closer to family. Involved grandparents make my life easier in so many ways.
Quail says
Totally agree. It’s a values decision balanced against convenience. Moving closer to family would be a huge plus in many ways that’s for sure.
Anonymous says
We made the choice to send my kid to a $30k/year preschool so he was guaranteed admission to the elementary school there, and then the middle school. We are in the LA area (and actually in a town that’s not part of LAUSD) where there are lots of good public neighborhood elementary schools but the public middle schools and high schools are not very good, and it is much easier to be admitted into private upper schools if you start in elementary. Other factors that went into our decision were proximity of school to home (1 block!), the ability to have our son do all his extracurriculars during after school care so we don’t have to run around to soccer, piano, etc. on the weekends, small class sizes (in K and 1 there are 16 kids and 2 teachers per class), and guaranteed aftercare and summer camp (not the case in our public school — there’s a lottery). With traffic in LA, moving to the suburbs for a better school isn’t an option, as my 5 mile commute is already 45 minutes long and at this point in my life I value time over money.
I went to a very bad public school (40% of the freshman class didn’t make it to graduation) and felt strongly about sending my kid to public school, but the simplified logistics on private school changed my mind. My spouse and I both work much more than full time and so making life easier is a high priority for us.
Quail says
Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you weighed a lot of the same factors. I hadn’t thought about the time saving aspect of extracurriculars in a private school. Maybe this is less of a culture decision where I live now and more about the logistics of everyday time management for at least some private school parents. I’d feel better making a decision on those grounds rather than an assumption about quality or because it’s “what’s done”. I definitely do other expensive things to make my life more convenient – of course the career that pays for it makes it necessary…but I am not leaving that!
Anon at 9:36am says
This sounds amazing. I love public school but you have to do what works for your family and it sounds like this is an awesome set up for your family.
EB0220 says
If I were in your shoes, I’d do some extensive research on the Chicago school system. I would also research your local school system a bit more. Identify some schools that would work for you by location, educational focus, etc. and then understand the after-school and activity availability (both public and private). Then I would choose a preschool to put your child on a path to the private option. This keeps all of your options (public and private) open and buys you some time to consider whether a move would make sense. For what it’s worth, I live in a large city in the southeast with highly educated parents. Most kids go to public school, because there are so many choices (local year-round, local traditional, magnet and charter). The application process begins in January before your child starts kindergarten and can extend until just before school (depending on lotteries, etc.). It’s slightly stressful but it’s great to have so many options.
Quail says
Thanks!! I will definitely do that. A little leg work now will pay off later. Knowing what to expect helps even if that’s knowing its stressful. Also good to hear about the regional differences. Year round school?!?
Legally Brunette says
I have lived in two east coast cities with children. Where I currently live (DC), we have a neighborhood public elementary school where we are guaranteed admission and which is excellent and we plan to put our children there. Our neighborhood also has a very good middle school but a mediocre high school. Most of our neighbors are putting their kids in the public elementary school. Of course, some are doing private but not many.
I used to live in Boston, where schools were determined by a lottery. Because it’s lottery-based, many more neighbors were putting their kids in private school because they had either lost the lottery and didn’t get their first choice, or because they didn’t think highly of the public schools period. And of course, many families moved out to the burbs if they didn’t get their first choice in the lottery.
I think if you can get into a good charter school with the lottery you should do that. Private school doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me when you have a good free option.
Spirograph says
I live just outside of DC but grew up in a Midwest suburb with great public schools, and also feel strongly about public school for a variety of reasons. We picked our neighborhood based on the public elementary school and middle school it feeds (I don’t expect to live here by the time my kids are middle school age, but you never know). It’s a chicken-or-egg thing, but because the elementary & middle schools are good, most of our college-educated professional neighbors send their kids to the public schools, and because most parents are college-educated professionals, the schools don’t face a lot of the challenges of some others nearby.
Definitely research the Chicago school system, but seeking out a like-minded culture when it comes to your kids’ education is not absurd. Add the closer-to-family aspect, and it becomes a lot more tempting. I dream of moving back to the Midwest all the time. :)
DC mom says
Would you mind sharing wich school?
We are currently zoned for the Capitol Hill Cluster, so Peabody, Watkins, etc. I’ve heard decent things re: Peabody and Watkins, but not a lot about Stuart-Hobson.
Legally Brunette says
Janney Elementary
Quail says
I think our system is more like Boston, and people just opt out early since private school admission is not guaranteed either, especially if you wait apply or put down a deposit until after the lottery results come out. I’ll check out the charter/magnet options in both current city and Chicago. I wish admission into the pretty good neighborhood elementary school in current city was guaranteed but it’s not even though we are in the boundaries. It’s very weird.
NewMomAnon says
So…Chicago Public Schools are an awful cluster right now. I don’t know whether the burbs of Chicago are the same pot of horribleness, but I’ve had several friends teaching in the CPS system and it’s truly, truly broken. Teacher strikes, mass layoffs, school consolidation, being used as a political bludgeon by various factions. Having lived in DC and several other Midwestern states, I can say that I would pick all of their schools over Chicago for at least the next 5 years.
I can say that in my Midwestern city (not Chicago), the school system lottery is challenging but workable. If you try to game it and loose, your children will be bused to less desirable schools instead of the neighborhood school or charter school of your choice.
In my large law firm, many of the partners send their kids to public schools and many send their kids to private schools. Personally, I am leaning in favor of our public schools for elementary because of the availability of bus transportation and before and after school care, which are not as widely provided by the private schools in my city. I went to private high school and it was fantastic for me, but I’m trying to keep my options open by living in an area with good “assigned” public schools from elementary through high school.
Aunt Jamesina says
Some Chicago suburban public schools are the top in the country. Others are terrible. I worked in two of the top suburban high schools up until a few years ago– you couldn’t ask for more.
CPS is a mess. There are some gems within CPS, but things are changing so quickly right now with financial problems, and boundaries can change at any time, so it’s a huge gamble to buy in Chicago and assume you can get your kid into a good school.
Faye says
Count me in the group of parents who moved to the suburbs to escape the CPS mess. I moved to an area about an hour commute out of the city where the overall public system is highly ranked, but our local school is bilingual (with “lower” test scores that are still higher than most other places). The private schools here are also top notch, so we’ll be fine either way.
I’m running into the time problem. Schools get out so early and I want aftercare to include extracurriculars and homework so we can spend evenings as a family. (Yes kindergarten has homework now.) Unfortunately that seems to be a unicorn in this area since it’s a lot of single-income families. I can’t emphasize enough the need to factor aftercare into your decision in a dual-income family.
Quail says
Thanks to all the Chicagoland folks who chimed in. A quick search brought up some of these issues but I trust you all more than random internet whatever. Sounds like Chicago has a deeper but similar problem to my current city with spotty quality, likely mismanagement somewhere, and a lottery system that was probably implemented for good intentions of being fair but makes everyone batty.
We have some extended family in the near Chicago suburbs so we are sort of familiar with that scene (much more like where we both grew up, for better and worse). Can’t ask them about schools though because that would tip the family off and everyone would demand we move…if this gets more real we will have that convo.
CHL says
Just adding to what the Chicago posters have added – CPS is a terrible mess. There are some good public schools but it is such a crapshoot of applying to lotteries, having massive change, etc. There are amazing private, non-religious schools that have all the benefits (amazing programs, facilities, etc.) and the negatives (drop-off looks like a Range Rover convention.) Catholic schools are an option if that’s your thing. We’ll be moving to the suburbs when the time comes because I just can’t take the insanity.
Anonymous says
I’m in Portland, Oregon and encountered the exact same thing. I know that’s not the area you’re asking about, but it does make me think that it’s a generalizable city thing. The district is patchy, with some schools being good and others not, but even parents who are in the good school boundaries do the lottery/private/charter/etc route about half the time. It was stressful for literally every family I knew around the times of any school change (kindergarten, middle school, high school), regardless of where they live. I was also very uncomfortable with the have-and-have-nots situation in the city.
We moved to the suburbs entirely because of the schools. I wasn’t thrilled about that being the solution (I like it in the city!), but it has been lovely to have the school ‘selection’ (ummm… sign up at the good public school two blocks away like everyone else) be so streamlined. I also really love that my kids go to a school with a cross-section of the community and that schools are so heavily supported by the community.
ECR says
Chicagoan here. While I agree CPS is in financial trouble, there are many excellent public elementary schools in Lincoln Park and other north side neighborhoods (Blaine and Lincoln elementary come to mind). Many of the partners I know at top tier firms send their kids to these local schools. The problem is high school. You have to bank on getting your kid into a selective enrollment public school (which is far from guaranteed) or try to send them to private high school. There is so much demand for the top private high schools in the city (namely, Lab, Latin, and Parker), that your kid has to be a genius or very, very lucky to enroll in high school. Families in my neighborhood frequently enroll their kids in private elementary school not because the public elementary schools are bad, but as a way of preserving a spot in a private high school.
Minnesota says
I’m in Twin Cities. If you are thinking of heading Midwest, big plug for Twin Cities – super low unemployment, relatively cheap cost of living (esp. compared to Chicago or East Coast if you’re considering a move.)
Minnesota in general has an excellent reputation for its public schools but it’s spotty in both Mpls and St. Paul. I live in a very close ring St. Paul suburb, and have a 10 minute commute into downtown St. Paul. I am within walking distance (though bussing is available too) of an excellent public elementary school with low cost before and after care that my kid will attend in another 2 years or so, and he has good options for public school in both middle and high school. We moved to the suburbs for a better public school choice – I did public school for everything through law school, feel strongly about supporting it.
Quail says
Thanks to everyone who replied. It’s given me a lot to think about, and I really appreciate that you were all so thoughtful and non-judgy in your answers. It does make me sad that this is such an issue in urban areas all around the country, though – I was hoping that my town was just suffering from bad politics. But this seems more systemic. Argh!
Clementine says
What kind of a highchair do I want?
Here are the main goals that I need: No fabric/easily wipeable, won’t get knocked over when my big, goofy dog inevitably climbs underneath it to eat debris.
Right now I’m considering getting a used wooden highchair off of craigslist or some plastic thing that I buy off of amazon. What would you all suggest? The idea of wood appeals to me… lasts longer, easier to really wipe down, I hate plastic, etc. Should I be looking at a space saver highchair that straps onto a chair or one of those ones that clip right onto the table?
Kid isn’t at a high chair stage yet, but I feel it rapidly approaching.
Anonymous says
Fisher Price Space Saver and put it on one of your existing chairs. Can also throw it in the car if going to grandparents/friends house. Remove fabric cover so it can just be wiped down.
Clementine says
Can I just use it without the fabric and use it all the time without said cover?
Anon 9:33 says
I use it all the time without fabric. I have twins so I don’t have time to wash two covers everyday. At the very beginning we used the covers for a bit because it was cozier – maybe like a month. Covers stay in the cupboard. Straps are also removable and can be thrown in the washer (I put them in a lingerie bag).
It reclines so you can also sit baby up in it with the cover and without the tray when they are small and they can watch what you are doing in the kitchen. My guys loved this around 4 months.
Clementine says
Ooooo.
This might also be a great use for the chair that we have that is totally safe and stable but definitely seems to have a weight limit on it. I have no reservations sitting in this chair myself; however, when guests are coming over I actually move it out of the room. I live in fear that someone is going to plop down on it (it really it the actual ‘plopping’, not the sitting that seems to stress this particular chair) and it will give way.
Anonymous says
I am also a fan of the FP space saver. I actually permanently “borrowed” the one my mom kept at her house and gave her the hand me down chair I had gotten from a friend. One caution about the IKEA high chair: I don’t think it’s a 5 point harness. Neither was the hand me down that we had. When we started solids my then 6 month old would rock back and forth LIKE CRAZY and so I switched to the 5 point harness on fisher price chair. I also never keep the fabric on the chair.
CHJ says
The $20 chair from IKEA! It’s the best. One piece of molded plastic and you can stick the whole thing in the sink to hose it off. We spent $250 on a Stokke Tripp Trapp and ended up using the IKEA high chair 95% of the time. It’s great.
Clementine says
Could a 75 pound dog flip this over walking underneath it though? That’s my only hesitation…
CHJ says
I have a 40 lb dog and he doesn’t come close to knocking it over. It has a wide base so it’s pretty stable. Although my 2.5 year old now prefers to sit in the bar stools at the counter because he doesn’t like the dog trying to lick his feet while he eats. But we got a good 2 years of use out of it before that.
Lkl says
Yes, the base is very wide and I can’t imagine how it could be knocked over. We love ours!
Anonymous says
We used the antilop with 2 kids and a 90 lbs dog. Never tipped. It’s a very wide base.
TBK says
My 70lb dog (who’s all leg and VERY tall) walks under my twins’ Ikea high chairs all the time. No flippage, or even close. The legs on the chair are kind of splayed out to make it very stable.
JEB says
We love our Ikea highchair! I like the simplicity of the design and the ease of cleaning. As people have mentioned, it has a wide base. My 55 pound dog walks under it constantly, and I’ve never worried about it getting knocked over. On the other hand, because of the wide legs, my husband and I occasionally kick the legs accidentally when walking by. It’s light enough that it moves a little, but never like it’s going to fall over (I hope that makes sense). I recommend it to everyone I know!
Lkl says
We solved the kicking-the-legs problem by putting neon tennis balls on the feet. Now we see them!
Quail says
Love my oxo high chair. Stable and super easy to clean. My friends did love the strap to chair option though. I like being able to roll the kid around, but the oxo does take up a good amount of space. My kid could not have done a restaurant style wood chair for an actual meal until a few months after we started solids.
Clementine says
Yeah, I was considering an old-style wooden high chair (like what I had when I was a kid). I think he needs a little bit of a higher back than a restaurant style chair has.
Meg Murry says
We had an old style wooden highchair because my husband hated the plastic one and I HATED it with a passion. My son liked to eat sticky things like yogurt with his hands, and it was so difficult to clean – especially since the tray didn’t come off, and it was difficult to get him in and out, and no straps toh old him in. If you do go the wooden route, at a minimum, look for clean lines, not spindle-y designs and test how easy it is to get a older baby covered in food in and out of it.
For my second the wooden high chair stayed in the basement and we just used a strap to a chair like the Space Saver – so much better, and much longer usable life as a booster. We took the fabric cover off most of the time and used it with bare plastic or just with a towel thrown over it.
There are also Etsy sellers that make custom covers for the space saver (and a sewing pattern if you know someone craftsy) if you wanted something to match your decor and be less cutesy/tacky plastic.
But with babies and food, plastic that can be washed in the sink (or even dishwasher!) is your friend, wood is a PITA.
anne-on says
I have and really loved the Oxo Sprout chair. Very sturdy, not super large, and really super duper easy to get kiddo into one handed.
I also have a 65lb lab who scavenged for food all the time underneath the chair and never knocked it over.
Anonymous says
We’re going to get either the keekaroo or stokke trip-trap chair. Our niece has the Trip-Trap at age eight and nearly died when my husband asked if she wanted to move to a grown-up chair and give the baby her Trip-Trap. Andn the five year-old who lives above us did basically the same thing (though my husband was really joking with him).
Clementine says
These are gorgeous, but I think they might be out of my price range.
Anon in NYC says
If there is a parents listserv in your area, you might be able to find a used trip trap (if your heart is set on it). I occasionally see them on mine.
I have the Inglesina Zuma, which I love in theory because you can fold it to a fairly compact size and wheel it into a corner. In reality, it’s fine. I wouldn’t say it’s so great that you should spend the money.
Anonymous says
Similarly, we got a Svan and my 5 year old still uses it. We bought it used on CL for $60 and I consider it one of my best buys.
mascot says
We used our Keekaroo daily for 3 years (as a toddler pulled up directly to the table) and it held up well. If I had to redo, I’d start with that from the beginning.
(was) due in June says
After ridiculous amounts of research and facing the fact that our tiny home means we would always be looking at the high chair, we splurged on the Tripp Trapp, bought it from Nordstrom to have that forever guarantee (and hello rewards points). IT. IS. AWESOME.
Anonymous says
+1! My almost 5-year old is still using the Svan we bought for his big brother 7 years ago. (I’m surprised big brother gave it up, actually, I’m not sure how that happened). We love it. In hindsight I might have preferred the Tripp Trapp, though, because the Svan has A LOT of little nooks and crannies for gunk to get stuck in. It never really looks clean unless you unscrew the screws and really clean it. But, it’s still looking great and the color we got blends in with the rest of our furniture.
Anonymous says
Heading out of town soon and will be leaving my 4-month-old with DH for a long weekend. Any tips on pumping while traveling? I have a short flight (so shouldn’t have to pump on the plane) and will be staying in a nice hotel so I think they will be friendly about giving me an in-room fridge. I’m thinking moving the milk to bags and transporting those is easiest? Should I get a huge cooler for the trip? Really want to bring all my milk home if possible. Any other suggestions?
ABA says
Have you looked into bringing your milk back in bags on dry ice in a cooler or shipping it home with dry ice? Just one suggestion from a colleague that used dry ice to ship milk home.
Anonymous says
Put a hand pump in your carry on if your electric pump can’t run on batteries. It’s a short flight but you never know when you will be delayed or diverted and you don’t want to be stuck on board unable to pump.
Clementine says
I’d also add: make sure you know how to hand express just in case.
You never know when you’re going to drop a membrane or forget a flange or some tubing and just *need* to pump RIGHT NOW.
Anonymous says
I always put my milk in big Nalgene type bottles when I traveled. They just seemed more robust than bags for packing, taking our for security, etc. I am also a huge klutz so I was always nervousness about spilling the bags, but that’s probably a me issue.
Anonymous says
This is really interesting. The only downside I can see is maybe having trouble keeping a larger bottle cold enough. You didn’t have trouble with that?
Anonymous says
I usually traveled for 2 nights, max, so never needed to freeze. I used a fridge in the hotel room and then would put it in a soft-sided cooler with ice when I checked out of the hotel. My flights were 2 hours, max, and I was comfortable having the milk out of the fridge for that long.
In House Lobbyist says
I used Nalgene bottles too because they were so sturdy. I would transfer all the milk from each day into a separate bottle.
anne-on says
I sincerely hope this doesn’t happen to you, but the in room fridge I had did not have a freezer cold enough to freeze my milk, and I wasn’t comfortable having it in the travel cooler for the 4 days I was traveling. So, I pumped and dumped. Not fun, but honestly keeping my supply up was my main goal, and my son still nursed fine when I got home, so for me, that was enough.
Anonymous says
When this happened to me, I’ve asked the hotel to put it in a large freezer for me (in bags, in a lunchbox type soft sided cooler bag). They did, no questions. A good hotel will find a way to accommodate you.
(was) due in June says
I travel for business regularly. I give my ice pack to the bellman at check in to freeze for me, and keep the milk in my room in a minfridge (which I ask them to either bring up or empty the minibar for me). I pick up my ice pack when I check out. Even if your room doesn’t have a fridge, the hotel typically has a few they can loan out to guests (for a price, fancy pants hotel in LA was $25/day but whatever), and the bellman can bring it up to you.
I use a Polar Bear 12-pack cooler. It’s sturdy, looks like normal luggage, and really, truly does keep milk cold on long flights.
I bring two bottles to pump into, and then transfer the milk into Medela bags to refrigerate and transport.
Bring a printed out copy of TSA regs to show to TSA because you WILL get idiots. Allow TONS of extra time to go through security on the way home with all your milk. I have had excellent experiences at some airports (LAX, SFO, BWI) and truly horrific experiences in others (MEM, MCO) that required multiple levels of clearance.
I also bring a photocopy of my kid’s birth certificate.
(was) due in June says
Sorry, I meant Lanisoh bags. Medela bags suck.
Anonymous says
+1 to printed out copies of the TSA regs. I had so many arguments at security. My favorite was “you aren’t traveling with a baby, so why do you need milk?” Face palm.
In House Lobbyist says
I traveled a ton while pumping and even the hotels that tried to charge you for a fridge didn’t charge once I told them it was for breastmilk. They consider it a “medical necessity” at that point and never questioned. I would usually call the hotel the day before and ask that they have a fridge in my room (and turned on) before I checked in. The one time I couldn’t get a fridge they brought me a huge tub of ice and water to my room.
Momata says
I’d use bags (look into the Kiinde system — you can pump directly into the bags and feed directly from them, so you wouldn’t even have to bring bottles or deal with transferring) and try to figure out a way to freeze them at your hotel. That way you would just need a cooler pack or dry ice to get them home (assuming the flight is a reasonable length) and they would travel easier. I second advice on making sure you have backup batteries and/or a hand pump.
Anonymous says
I used to pump and travel for work on the regular. Tips:
1. Bring a full set of extra batteries for your pump (and/or bring a manual), and bring the whole shebang as a carry on. It’s medical equipment so doesn’t count as a bag. If your plane is delayed, you will be SO glad you have these options. And my pump batteries were cr@p and not all planes have a spot to plug in.
2. Look for the pump locations at the departing and arrival airport. Ideal: pumping room (if you tell me the airport I can probably tell you where!). Second best: family/handicapped restroom. LaGuardia terminal B- handicapped stall next to the sink and you have to stretch your power cord and plug it in by the sink ;)
3. Milk storage: I used a soft sided cooler, with ice packs. Note that if your ice pack isn’t still frozen when you go through security, they may give you grief (they are entitled to grouse, but since you have a medical reason, they have to let you through). So try to keep it frozen. I put the milk in lanisoh milk bags, froze them flat while in the hotel, and stack-packed them in the cooler with an ice pack wrapper. If you don’t go the frozen route, you have more options.
4. Hotels- call *ahead* and make sure you have a fridge in your room. if they aren’t standard (ie the extended stay hotels), you’ll probably end up in a handicapped/medical room. you don’t want to get stuck because they just gave away the last fridge-having room because you asked at check-in vs in advance. Any decent hotel can accommodate this, esp. as it’s very common for diabetics to need to store insulin.
5. If you have time, I highly *highly* recommend getting a manual pump as back up. It got me out of several jams and i think was like $40. James include: batteries died on normal pump, no plug in option. Flange broke on pump, not easy to get a new one. Stuck next to passed out man on redeye and had to pump, used manual because it was in my purse vs full setup which was in the overhead.
If you travel often, consider TSA precheck/global entry. It makes security 900x faster, and it also helps if you travel with colleagues that are in regular security…they don’t have to see you unpack your milk!
JEB says
When I was only gone for a long weekend, I never froze my milk. I poured it into milk storage bags (I used the Nuk bags without any leaks), kept it cold in the hotel fridge. and packed it on ice for the trip home. I traveled with a small soft sided cooler and ziplock bags that I could fill with ice from ice machines, restaurants, etc. I often replaced the ice once I got through security at the airport and at the next airport before a connecting flight. Line your soft cooler with a plastic bag, in case the ice leaks – I usually used the hotel laundry bag as my liner. And bring extra ziplocs just in case.
Tell TSA that you’re carrying milk. They’ll have to put it on the x-ray belt, and then they’ll test it on the other end. They were always extremely nice about this, and I thankfully never had any issues (my first few trips, I had the TSA regulations handy on my phone just in case). They always let me watch what they were doing, and they were careful about re-packing. I always double checked when they were finished to ensure that everything was closed. I even had a TSA agent call me a bad*ss for pumping while on work travel, which totally made my day.
I also recommend getting a manual pump. It’s nice to have a back up, and it won’t take up much extra space. For single night trips, I often brought only the manual pump.
And finally, bring larger Ziploc bags to store your pump parts in the fridge between pumps, and don’t forget to bring a small bottle of dish soap and a brush or sponge for washing. Oxo even makes a travel brush and drying rack that’s super handy.
Good luck!
OP says
Thanks a lot, ladies. This was really helpful and, more importantly, was a good dose of “you can do it!” :)
Batgirl says
How do you handle pumping on longer flights? I’m pregnant with my first now and am anxious about how I’m going to pull off all of my work travel after the baby is born. Do you just pump in the bathroom? Doesn’t that take 30 min or so? Thanks!
(was) due in June says
I pumped in the bathroom with a battery pack. Chux pad to cover the fold down table, and lots of hand sanitizer. When we’re all getting seated or otherwise very early in the flight, I talk to the flight attendants, tell them I’m nursing and will need to pump in the bathroom for 20-30 minutes sometime between x and y oclock, is there a good time to do that and can you please help me? They will come by and say “now is a good time” (or remind them) and then keep people from knocking on the door while I’m in there.
ChiLaw says
I did the same. I wanted to get the flight attendants on my side, since it was a little obnoxious to take up the restroom for that long, but every time it worked out fine, with no grief.
JEB says
If you’re comfortable doing so, you can also pump in your seat with a nursing cover. I personally never did it, but I’ve known people who have. A hand pump makes this much easier and fairly discrete.
RDC says
Did it, totally doable. I used a double electric (Medela) with battery pack, with a hands free bra and nursing cover. Somehow I got very lucky and the middle seat was empty, so I could spread out a bit. It actually wasn’t as hard / uncomfortable as I imagined; there was a guy in the next seat down but he didn’t give me a second glance. Also pumped in the airport terminal since there was no nursing room and I really didn’t want to use the bathroom. People just ignored me.
Anonymous says
Just want to say all of you are bada**es for pumping while traveling! So impressed by you all!
MomAnon4This says
Once you’ve done it, there is almost no way I complain about any other travel delays, with kids or without. It’s just like — well, at least I don’t have to pump! I am SO much more easy-going in my travels now. Everything feels like a vacation.
ChiLaw says
I stored in the medela bags, about 3 oz per bag (that’s the size bottle my girl took) and froze them in the hotel room mini fridge freezer. I also got the hotel to freeze my ice packs the night before I left. I put the frozen bags in larger ziplocks, and put the whole shebang in a soft sided cooler. I announced to the screeners that I was carrying milk and they didn’t give me any trouble.
You CAN do it!
Famouscait says
Can anyone who is a foster parent and/or adoptive parent suggest any books to read on the subject(s)? Both ideas are flitting around my brain/heart, but I don’t even know where to begin to educate myself. Thanks!
NewMomAnon says
Funny… it’s been on my mind too. It’s a “sometime in the distant future” dream for now, but I would love resources too.
FWIW, I used to work for a volunteer organization that provided legal representation to children in foster care. It was eye-opening. I don’t know whether they exist in every city, but if you’re a lawyer, I would suggest looking for something similar.
Anonymous says
As someone that used to do child protection law and had to stop because it was too heart wrenching and I couldn’t sleep at night, if you think you can handle it then please please be a foster parent. Good foster parents, especially families with working mom role models are so few and far between. It isn’t easy but I have literally seen a 10 year old go from being highly medicated in a juvenile psychiatric ward to being off medication and on the honour role at his school because of finally having a stable foster home for 6 months.
Famouscait says
Not a lawyer, but my husband is in the process of becoming a Guardian Adlitum. I don’t know if I could handle it, but I’m interested enough to want to learn more about it.
Anonymous says
Didn’t mean to scare you off. Many people can totally handle being a foster parent – as the lawyer -I didn’t get the hugs or snuggles and I usually only saw the worse cases. Many troubled parents are able to realize that they can’t care for their kids right now – those parents never made it across my desk because the kids were in voluntary care. I got the ones where the parents couldn’t understand that they needed drug rehab/to leave domestic violence and someone had to take care of the kids while they got clean.
SC says
Does anyone have suggestions for a convertible car seat that easily straps in with a seat belt? We have large ones installed in our cars with the Latch system, but I’d like a lightweight one that can be used with the seat belt or installed super quickly by our nanny, by our parents, for travel, and in the occasional cab or Uber. Is this a unicorn?
mascot says
Can’t they all be installed with a seat belt? At some point, you reach the weight limits for LATCH and have to do the seat belt install. You’ll need to practice with everyone to get fast, tight installs. I’ve heard that some of the evenflo seats are pretty light.
Anons says
Not super easy, but Combi Coccoro is supposed to be a good travel seat, especially using a seatbelt install. We have it. It is lightweight, but not as easy to install as I would like. But I think my “easy to install” expectations are probably unrealistic. It is probably on the easier end of the spectrum. The seats also on the smaller side, so should fit in most vehicles. For an older child, maybe the IMMI go? I haven’t used it, but that is what Uber puts in its family vehicles.
anon says
We considered the Combi Coccoro, but note that it has a ridiculously low maximum height for rear- facing — our tall kid would not have made it to 18 months even. I was so disappointed!
CPA Lady says
The cosco sceneara. It’s our spare lightweight “for grandma’s occasional use” one. My MIL easily installed it in the back of her car with a seatbelt.
pockets says
The Britax clicktight series is very easily installed with a seatbelt. It’s huge and heavy, but easy install.
Anonymous says
Ditto! So insanely easy and hands-down my pick for moving between nanny/grandparents/etc. It’s is crazy heavy, though, so I personally wouldn’t want to do it for a cab/uber. If you really need lightweight for that sort of travel, I’d get a cosco sceneara or evenflo tribute.
FWIW, IME installing carseats, the biggest factor for ease of seatbelt install is whether or not the seatbelt locks easily, rather than the seat design itself. With the exception of the clicktight, which is practically an idiot-proof design.
indispensable maternity bottoms? says
I’m trying to limit what I’m buying for maternity wear. Currently (2o weeks) I’m able to wear some of my regular pants with our without a bella band, plenty of my regular tops, but not too many of my dresses – I can zip them, they just look terrible. I bought a pair of maternity black pants that I’ve also been wearing. If I wanted to add dresses or skirts, what would you recommend? I’m due in July, so I’m not looking forward to wearing pants in May and June when the weather warms.
My workplace is between business and business casual. I looked at the maternity clothing post, but many of the links have seriously limited sizes or are sold out of the items.
Lkl says
Target has a black T-shirt dress that was very smooth and comfortable, and which was substantial enough knit that I could wear it to my law office with the appropriate cardigan/blazer/shoes and a nice scarf or something. I wore it 2-3x a week from weeks 30ish to 40 with different accessories, and wished I had it sooner. Definitely get one!
Famouscait says
I wore all dresses to my office (similar sounding dress code) and I had lots of good luck at Old Navy and Target. Some ON I just sized up in the regualr version of the wrap dress, for example.
Anonymous says
Second Old Navy and Target. I also had good luck with Asos, and received some Motherhood dresses that I was surprised how much I liked. I was never a dress person before pregnancy, but they were SO MUCH easier than pants the last few months.
CrimLaw Mom says
I bought the Ingrid & Isabel Maternity Pleated Tank Dress in black, navy, and metal. Wore them to death with blazers and cardigans, and they worked throughout my entire pregnancy–wore the black one to go get induced! I was pregnant through the summer, and the cotton was great for sweaty days, and I felt that they held up better than my Target/OldNavy/Motherhood items. The pleating was also flattering and adjustable, and the neckline was high enough to not show too much. Available on Amazon, too.
Batgirl says
As someone who’s 30 weeks pregnant now and had had similar thoughts on buying the bare minimum, I would advise you to get a bit more now so you’ll at least get some use out of them. It’s frustrating to be uncomfortable in your clothes and it’ll only get worse the further along you get! At this point, I wish I’d bought a little more so I could have gotten more use of them sooner!
AEK says
LOFT maternity dresses. I had a couple that I actually loved. I also had one navy and one black short-sleeve sheath—from Target & Old Navy I believe. These with open cardigans/ blazers were workhorses for me (though I had to winterize them with tights & boots).
FTMinFL says
Check out Old Navy, for sure! I was pleasantly surprised by the quality and fit of their maternity dresses. If you need a higher quality or special occasion dress, I highly recommend Tart Collections maternity dresses. I bought four for workwear at my relatively formal office and wore them all the time. They fit well and held up well.
indispensable maternity bottoms? says
Thank you all, this is really helpful! And yeah, I think I should buy now rather than later…even if they are a bit big now, at least I’ve got something to wear.
Tracking baby's schedule says
Does anyone have ideas as to the easiest way to track my 2 month old’s general eating/sleeping schedule?
I realized the other day that as I’m feeding on demand (and she’s sleeping when, well, she falls asleep), I have no idea when she generally naps vs. when she is awake, etc. I want to get a general idea before heading back to work next month! I’m thinking of setting up a shared google spreadsheet (for DH and I), but would love to hear other ideas.
Anonymous says
Love the BabyConnect app for this. Well worth the $5.
Anons says
We also love Baby Connect. It easily synchs across devices, which is key if more than one caregiver uses it.
Anonymous says
I just used a large sized post it on the fridge. Only took a couple of days before I got a rough idea of her cycle.
Around 2-3 months they are often just eat every 3 hours and sleep/play in between. Cluster feeding in the evening helped get us a longer stretch of sleep overnight as well – like 6, 7:30, 9:00: 10:30 then a 6 hour stretch – 4:30 feed and two more hours of sleep. She slept on the nursing pillow while I watched tv in between the evening feedings. So nice to have baby snuggles after missing her at work all day.
Anon in NYC says
My husband and I use an app that syncs so we are both able to track stuff. We initially used Baby Bundle for months, but I think the syncing stopped working. We’ve just started using Glow Baby and it seems good for those purposes.
Philanthropy Girl says
We used FeedBaby (and eventually upgraded to FeedBaby Pro). It tracks pumping, feeds, sleeps, growth, diapers – just about whatever info you need. Once LO weaned we didn’t use it as much, but especially in the first six – eight months it was really useful.
Anon says
Regular poster, going anon for this. I’m a part-time attorney at a law firm. I’ve been at 60% for a couple years now, and I’ve struggled to hit my pro-rated billable hour requirement. My firm decided to defer me for partnership (which is fine) but then also didn’t give me the market raise that all associates received – I have not gotten a raise or bonus in three years, despite my billable rate increasing.
My firm rolled out a program that lets me compare my productivity to other time keepers, and I’ve noticed that my billable hours are slightly more than 60% of the average for all associates (which means all associates are struggling to hit hours) and my total hours are closer to 80% of the average total hours for associates. I have published several articles, sat on two boards, presented several CLEs, and attended several CLEs, which all increase my total hours.
Because I’m so senior with a high billable rate and high realization, my total revenue generation is only 10% less than the average associate at my firm, but I’m making $30K less than a first year associate and less than half of what an associate on the verge of partner makes.
I’d like to use this information to argue for a raise at my upcoming review. All the other associates received a $10-15K raise, and I would like to ask for 60% of $15K since I’m senior. I’m a planner and would love to get some of the counter-arguments the firm might present if I make that pitch. Should I ask for more? I’ve felt too embarrassed by my low hours to ask for a raise, but I’m wondering now if that was silly.
CPA Lady says
I don’t have an answer but I just have to say that this kind of thing grinds my gears so much and I think women are hurt so much and sold short because of lack of data. At my last job, our target was 1700 hours a year (which I realize sounds like nothing to you big-law types, but tax season is only 6 months of the year and I was only being paid $60k). I could have taken an 80% job and the accompanying 20% pay cut. But then this spreadsheet came out that showed that hardly anyone at my level billed more than 1400 hours, and some billed way less. I was so incredibly enraged. I would have taken a 20% pay cut to do the same amount of work as mostly everyone was doing already! So I got a different job instead and am much happier now. /end soapbox
pockets says
I think you pay a premium to work part time. I work part time and I basically took 40% of the salary to work 60% of the time (I knew that going in and it was a really hard choice but I valued part time work more than I valued the money). I don’t know whether that’s “fair.” I simply don’t think the time/money tradeoff is linear. I took a 50% paycut a while ago (big firm to small firm) and I worked 75% of what I worked at a big firm. I think that that is a pretty common tradeoff.
Anonymous says
Go back full time! This is why I would never ever go part time at my firm. There’s no specific penalty for not meeting targets, so you’re better off being full time, coming in at less than full time percentages, and then not getting a raise then specifically cutting yourself.
OP says
*sigh* Not an option. Now that I’m part-time, the firm won’t let me shift back to a higher hours bracket until I can *prove* that I have a steady stream of hours sufficient to hit that higher level. Meaning, if I want to go to 80%, I have to have 4 months of hours above the 80% threshold…which is impossible given that I’m struggling to hit 60%.
But that is the advice I give to anyone considering a switch to part time – don’t. Just lean back for a while and see if anyone notices.
Also, kudos to my firm for creating the transparency. I hope everyone uses it, but especially women.
Anonymous says
Do you have a more senior partner who can advocate for you? It may help to find someone (perhaps a senior women?) with whom you can share the results of your investigation who will fight for you. Not saying that you can’t or shouldn’t ask for a raise (you can and you should!), but this is the kind of systemic issue that, in my mind, deserves to be brought to light. Good luck!
Ties? says
Anyone here have experience with lip and tongue ties? We have been told by several lactation consultants that it’s interfering with breastfeeding, and we’ve been told by several ENTs that it is not. We have been told that clipping the tongue tie (or scissoring) will do the trick (it didn’t), and by others that nothing less than a laser on both the tongue and the lip tie will work. Everyone feels very strongly about it, while I am very, very confused. Anyone have personal experience with this?
anon says
Our son had a severe tongue tie. It did not affect his ability to nurse in terms of his ability to get milk, but it did affect his latch in a way that severely negatively affected my experience (24/7 pain and bruising) — which led to use of a shield which, in turn, led to difficulties getting enough milk. I wish that at the hospital they had said, “Your son has a significant tongue tie that might have XYZ effects and you should go get it checked out right away,” rather than “Your son has a tongue tie.” We were not able to get it snipped until 3 weeks, and then had to re-train our son how to use his tongue correctly. If you have ever tried training an infant to use its tongue, well, you know that’s hard. For us, he wasn’t able to fix his latch soon enough and we stopped nursing. This was VERY VERY VERY emotional at the time. I ended up pumping another month and using formula after that — and I ended up loving bottle feeding. Also, it runs in families — my brother in law apparently had a tongue tie that was not fixed until he was having other surgery anyway at age 1, and was able to nurse just fine that whole time.
anon says
And if you are in the DC area we saw Dr. Harley at the Georgetown tongue tie clinic, and thought he was pretty good. Not great in manner, but did the procedure very, very quickly and our baby barely cried.
Legally Brunette says
Yes! I do, and the divide btw LCs and ENTs really confused me as well. I had a LC tell me that my baby had a lip tie/tongue tie (he was a champion feeder initially, then at 3 months was not latching properly). When I raised the issue with my pediatrician, he insisted there was no problem. I ended up going to a highly acclaimed pediatric dentist in my area who specializes in lip/tongue ties for a second opinion. He concluded that baby had one, did a laser surgery to fix it (took all of 30 seconds), and baby’s feeding improved by leaps and bounds afterwards.
My advice is to get a second (or third) opinion. If you live anywhere near Boston, I can tell you the name of the dentist we saw. After this experience, my sense is that ENTs/peds don’t have a lot of experience with identifying lip/tongue ties, particularly ones that are not as obvious upon first glance. I have heard that the scissor clipping is not particularly effective and laser is the way to go. Good luck, I found it all really frustrating but wanted to give you hope that it can potentially be resolved!
AEK says
+1 to seeing someone with a real specialty in this area.
OP says
Is it Dr. Kaplan or Dr. Rosenberg? I’ve been floating in this arena for a few weeks but have been fighting it, but am now becoming more willing. So you had the procedure done when the baby was 3 months old and s/he was able to learn to latch correctly? I’m a little scared that like anon above, our baby won’t be able to relearn how to use his tongue after using it incorrectly for so long. Efficient milk transfer is our main issue.
LB says
Yes, Dr. Kaplan. He was great. We had the procedure done closer to when baby was 4 months, actually. I really was wondering at that point whether I could continue to nurse and I was able to nurse for a year! It’s at least worth a visit to talk to him and get his assessment.
MSJ says
My son had a tongue tie that the ENT clipped around 2-weeks. The hospital nurse noticed it first and then the pediatrician and lactation consultant agreed that it should be clipped. It was a quick procedure that my son slept through. It was stressful at the time, we had skipped circumcision to avoid unnecessary clipping – ha! plans! – but worked out fine and after about a week of transition, I was able to nurse full time
HSAL says
I’m interested in this too. My LC thinks there is a tie interfering with my daughter’s milk transfer, but the doctor said no. The LC also said that ENTs often miss the ties. There seems to be a real divide between LCs and doctors on this issue. We have no feeding issues beyond slow weight gain (which has been largely fixed by fortifying her daycare bottles since I’m pumping anyway), and I’ve read there are a lot of things that go along with the revision, such as reteaching your baby how to suck (since it uses different muscles when there’s a tie) and chiropractic care/myofascial release. It honestly seemed like a lot of work and success seems hit or miss. My daughter is four months and my breastfeeding goal is only six months, so I decided against the procedure. If it had been discovered earlier (she was 3 months when the LC diagnosed her) I might have gone ahead, but once I went back to work it seemed to be way too much to handle (stretches that are needed multiple times a day to prevent reattachment). Check your local facebook groups. I belong to a tongue-tie specific group as well as a breastfeeding group where the issue pops up a lot.
LB says
The stretches take all of 10 minutes a day, maybe less. It’s not a big deal at all.
AEK says
I have experience with this. I’m sorry you’re feeling so confused about it. My lactation consultant thought my son had a lip tie and advised me to see an ENT. My pediatrician wouldn’t give a referral without checking it herself, but she agreed that there was a lip tie. Her recommendation was to see a (particular) pediatric dentist / oral surgeon who does the laser procedure. She recommended the laser because of the (remote) chance that the tie can re-grow after cutting / scissoring and because the risk of infection is lower.
We had the procedure done around 4 months. They did his tongue as well as his lip. I held him in my arms during (it was short, but harrowing) and nursed him right after. And breastfeeding changed SO dramatically after that. In retrospect, I’m not sure how I got through the first 4 months with the way he was latching… it was so painful. I always thought I had thrush or mastitis or something. I guess I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like.
I had a lot of fear and guilt about “altering” my baby at that tiny age. But I’m still happily breastfeeding (some) at almost 14 months, and there is NO WAY we could have done that without the procedure.
OP says
Thanks for this. I am having all of the feelings, but in the end I’ve fallen for breastfeeding way more than I thought I would (was ambivalent before giving birth, now really want it to work). So interesting that your ped recommended a ped dentist, since ours recommended against. The disagreements make this SO ridiculous and difficult to wade through, but I really appreciate you sharing your experience.
anne-on says
See a specialist, and do it now.
Guess what’s cheaper – having a quick snip as a baby, or having it fixed at 2.5 and then subsequently having multiple rounds of feeding therapy to teach your child how to properly chew with their back teeth and move food in their mouth with their (now free) tongue. Ask me how I know…sigh.
Anonymous says
Our LO had what the hospital called a “low to medium” tongue tie in the hospital, so they didn’t advise we do anything.
I had latch issues. DH had a tongue tie that wasn’t fixed until high school, and felt strongly we should “clip it quick.” I independently contacted an ENT and took baby in at like 10 days old for the clip (before the nerve develops) and ENT said it was medium/severe and he was surprised t didn’t interfere with feeding (it did).
Since it’s hereditary we plan to clip kid#2 in the hospital if she has it. It was a 3 second procedure with a drop or 2 of blood. FWIW latch issues were fixed after the snip.
AEK says
Oh, and as for whether it’s impacting breastfeeding or not, what set the LC’s radar off in my case was the way that his upper lip never flanged out. Instead, it was like he tucked the upper lip under his gums (which, ouch). Between that and the sheer amount of time we spent nursing (because his milk transfer was so inefficient) that’s how it got figured out. Finally.
What are you experiencing with breastfeeding? Pain? Ridiculous frequency (even beyond cluster feeding / growth spurts)?
OP says
Low/slow milk transfer, as measured by pediatrician and by multiple LCs (weight before/after feeding). We’ve been on supplements since Day 10 because of slow weight gain. Now he’s gaining well, but we can’t back off of bottle supplements because it takes him too long to feed. Oh and constant excruciating pain for me, ha.
Anonymous says
definitely try to get the lip/tongue tie address. BFing should not be painful beyond some initial discomfort in the first couple of days.
Anonymous says
Also, there is literally no downside to trying and seeing if it makes a difference. The laser procedure is minimally uncomfortable for baby (like heel pricks for blood draws when they are newborns) and possible huge upside of baby being able to get the milk they want with less effort for baby and less pain for mom.
HSAL says
That’s kind of what I thought initially, but I think it depends on the age of the baby and what they have to do to relearn proper latch/sucking. Some of the moms on the facebook group said after the revision their babies started refusing the breast, and there was a lot of concern about the stretching exercises needed to prevent reattachment. In the first month I absolutely would have done it, but we didn’t see a problem with the slow weight gain until she was two months old, and the ties weren’t diagnosed until three months.
Anonymous says
Hard to know though if that relates to the tie snip or if it’s the nursing strikes that usually start around three or four months when some babies start teething.
anne-on says
As I posted above – if it is a tongue tie, you’re going to potentially have issue when they start eating and can’t move the food around their mouth appropriately. Easier/cheaper in my mind to have a potential nursing strike now than feeding therapy later. Done both, would have rather only had the nursing strike.
Anonymous says
Yeah, then I say nuts to these ENTs who say it’s not having an effect.
MomAnon4This says
Favorite eating tip – I saved all our metal or decent baby and toddler utensils. I use them for serving smaller things, like dipping sauces or relishes or chutneys or little things like that, when you a million of things on the table and need a million spoons but don’t need huge table- or teaspoons for everything.
That’s my “tip”