CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 109 Comments · by

Washable Wednesday: Ponte Flounce Skirt Dress

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

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Ponte Dress for Work: This washable ponte flounce dress has a zillion great reviews over at Lands’ End and comes in a zillion nice colors and patterns. This berry basket print is one of the sale colors (limited sizes, alas), but other prints include a springy “paradise blue floral” and “weathered lavender paisley” (to see them, click on the different size types); it’s also available in solid black, blue, red, and teal. It’s offered in regular, petite, tall, and plus sizes, for $34-$89. The pictured dress is $44. Lands’ End Ponte Flounce Skirt Dress (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. PEN says

    I can’t keep my household healthy. I have a toddler and a three month old. Since the baby was born we have had 3 cases of pink eye (me & both kids), hand foot & mouth (toddler) bronchitis (husband) a stomach virus (me) and everyone has had at least one cold. Prior to these three months we had not seen this much sickness in the prior 3 years combined. The baby just started daycare this week (my first week back full time) and is already home today with pink eye. I feel like we have been militant about hand washing, laundry, and sterilizing. We have a healthy, well rounded diet—the baby is EBF. What am I doing wrong? Any advice about beefing up our immune systems or otherwise keeping everyone healthy?

    • Anonymous says

      You’re not doing anything wrong. Kids are germ factories. Things often come back to back like that when immune systems are run down. Get as much rest as possible (not easy, but when you can). Fresh air is also good. I like probiotics for stomach bugs and Omega 3/Vitamin D is easy to take and can have some immune boosting effects. Don’t feel guilty about turning down social obligations to rest.

    • BKDC says

      I have no advice, only commiseration. I have a toddler in daycare and have another on the way. Since my first started daycare, I’ve been almost perpetually sick. Thankfully, my son doesn’t seem to get the worst of it — only me. I try to pump myself full of vitamins and get some rest while I can. Hugs, mamma

    • JJ says

      Nothing wrong. That’s life with kids. And yours happened to have a baby coincide with cold and flu season (we did, too – such fun!). Eventually, things will even out, but I remember the first year or so, we couldn’t go a couple weeks without someone (me, husband, two kids) being sick.

    • Anons says

      This may not be the solution for you, but I know a mom who switched to a nanny when her kids kept getting illnesses at daycare. Her pediatrician had urged her to consider it after her newborn’s 6th ear infection (or something like that). Not sure of your area or situation, but a nanny for 2 could potentially be about the same cost as daycare.

    • Anonymous says

      I hear you. I think we have cold/runny noses since Halloween. We have had strep throat twice and my husband and I just had a stomach virus over the weekend. I am still recovering days later and am sanitizing everything to keep my kids from having it. I am so ready for warm weather!

    • MDMom says

      I feel your pain. My 9 month old has had back to back respiratory viruses since 2nd week of jan. First one caused bronchiolitis and this one seems to be bringing back the raspy breathing. I dont think hes had more than 2-3 uncongested days in between. I have caught most of them too in some mild form, though the first one knocked out my husband and I for 24hr each with high fever. And chest congestion/coughing tends to make my baby vomit approx 1x day. So tired of cleaning up vomit.

    • RDC says

      More commiseration. DH left on a business trip today. His plane left at 10:43. Daycare called at 11:02 to tell me to come pick up sick kid. Seriously??

      • JJ says

        Ugh. That’s the worst. We actually had a running joke (that wasn’t that funny) that my husband’s monthly business travel always coincided with a sick kid. And for 9 months in a row, it was true.

    • farrley says

      I hear you too! My 14-month kiddo stays home with either his grandma or a college student nanny, depending on the day, and we’ve still faced three cases of RSV/bronchiolitis since birth, plus tons of more minor congestion/sneezing colds. Sometimes it does feel like we barely get a few days of “normal” before it’s on to the next bug.

  2. Anxious about 2 says

    Moms of two under two — and particularly those who work full time and handle daycare drop offs and pickups– can you give me a little run down of how your daily schedule looks? I’m due with my second later this year, and I’m starting to get anxious about how our routine is going to be, especially as I struggle to drop off and pick up 2 kids (and without a car as a I live in a city). Let’s assume for now that due to work schedule and commute that I’m the only one who can take care of this. Can you give me some insight into how you manage to get everyone out the door in the morning, back home in the afternoon and fed/ready for bed in the evening?

    • Anonymous says

      How old will your kids be? That’s a big factor in what advice will work best.

      • Anxious about 2 says

        Child #1 will be 25 months when the baby is ready to go to daycare at 3 months. They will both go to the same daycare.

        • Anonymous says

          I would do this order:
          – get yourself ready – put bathrobe over clothes
          – get kids up and feed them/yourself
          – dress toddler and put in pack and play or exersaucer with a snack – put on Daniel Tiger/Mother Goose Club for a few minutes to entertain.
          -get baby ready including coat etc. Put baby in bouncer.
          -get outdoor clothes/shoes on toddler/yourself
          -put toddler in stroller and baby in carrier (or both in double stroller).
          – leave

          • Anonymous says

            If you get a double stroller – I highly recommend the Stroll Air. It’s a side by side that rear-faces like the Bugaboo Donkey but costs half as much. I loved been able to see/talk to/interact with my kids while walking with them. Early on, I would probably do single stroller plus baby carrier because I love baby snuggles and your new baby may be ready for a nap by the time you’re heading out the door.

    • Anonymous says

      I usually only do drop-off and not pick-up because I often work too late and my husband doesn’t, but I think these tips apply regardless:

      1.) Set out everything you possibly can the night before, including preparing breakfast if possible. I finally hit upon the solution of having my 3-year-old choose his clothes the night before, which has been a game changer. Also, I have fully embraced a minimal, relatively boring wardrobe for myself, and it takes me like 2 minutes to get dressed in the morning. Not as fun, but worth it and necessary IMO.

      2.) Slow cooker for dinner (make 2 days’ worth of food!) and/or making meals on weekends and freezing them. I don’t know why it took me until my second baby to get on the slow cooker train. We really can’t get it together to do any cooking when I or my husband get home alone with two tired, hungry, clingy boys at 6:15, so the slow cooker is clutch.

      Good luck! It’s not easy, but you can do it!

    • Anons says

      Have you considered a nanny? If you live in a city, that might open up lots of nanny options for you. Having 2 in daycare also makes the cost imbalance much less between nanny and a daycare. There are many reasons I love having a nanny, and one big one is to not have to deal with a daycare dropoff everyday.

      • Anxious about 2 says

        Actually, our daycare is very affordable compared to a nanny option in our city (It would be a difference of at least $1000 a month between the two options). Otherwise, I would totally consider a nanny to avoid the drop off/pick up scenario.

        • Jen says

          Same with us. Two in daycare is much less than a nanny, esp. since I would need an accountant or service to do the taxes.

        • Anonymous says

          Hire a morning nanny/housekeeper for an hour or two every morning? Nanny can help you get kids ready or wrangle them while you get ready, you leave with them for dropoff, and nanny stays behind and cleans up the breakfast mess.

    • Anonymous says

      My kids have about the same age difference. It’s like a 3-ring circus in our house a lot of the time, but it is a LOT easier now than it was 6+ months ago. My son is old enough to do a lot of things himself, and my daughter’s old enough that I don’t have to watch her *constantly.* I’m not saying this is good, but just as a datapoint, this is how our mornings go with a 1 year old and a 3 year old:

      6:45 Husband wakes up and starts gets dressed. I snooze.
      7:00 kids wake up.
      – H changes baby’s diaper and gets her dressed, puts her in high chair when finished
      – I get breakfast for me and the kids (in my bathrobe)
      – H leaves around 7:15, after making sure that everything is in the daycare bags. He takes breakfast to eat at work.
      – if making crock pot dinner, this is when that happens, too. I do any chopping the night before, so all I have to do is dump things in the pot and turn it on.
      7:30 breakfast over, I “race” son to get dressed (and help him so that he “wins”) while baby wanders around causing havoc
      7:45 baby inevitably poops and I have to change her diaper again
      – I finish getting myself dressed (I do makeup at work)
      – brush teeth with son. He brushes his own teeth in the morning, I only do a second brushing for him at night. Quick swipe of baby’s teeth, too.
      – Tell son to get his jacket on
      8:00 get kids in the car or bike trailer and leave.

      I usually get to work by 8:30-45ish. Most often, my husband does pick-up, but I leave work NLT 5:30 and could do it myself. We don’t cook much during the week. It’s crock pot meals, leftovers, or something fast and easy like frozen pizza, pasta, or fajitas/quesadillas. We’re all home by 6 at the latest, and have dinner by 6:30. Baby starts getting ready for bed right after dinner. If we’re doing baths, both kids bathe together; I take the baby out first, and son splashes around some more. One parent does stories and songs for the baby while the other helps son get into pjs and they go play. If H isn’t home, son plays by himself til I get baby in bed. If H isn’t home, there also usually isn’t a bath (he’s rarely gone for more than a few days, and it’s too much bother for me to tackle on my own if not strictly necessary). We hang out with son until around 8, then it’s time to brush teeth and for stories/songs/bedtime. It’s a coin toss who handles son’s bedtime routine; we split it about 50/50.

      I pick outfits for myself and the kids the night before. I do my own lunch prep the night before, and we pack as much of the daycare bag the night before as possible, too, and prep the rest.

    • MomAnon4This says

      Thanks for asking this. My 3rd is coming in July — when the 2nd will be less than 14 months old, probably not even walking (the 7yearold started walking at 15 month). I literally cannot imagine leaving the house with 2. We do have a micro-van (Mazda5). It feels like the old skit on Sesame Street, when Ernie would spy on those bugs in his flowers, and they’d say: “Oh, how do we get out of the house today?” I.have.no.idea.

  3. Anonymous says

    I know we’ve talked about deciding whether to have another child before, but how do you make peace with being done? I’d like a second, but logistically and financially it doesn’t make sense. We’d have to (1) move to a bigger house (not a smart financial choice given the market in my city), (2) figure out how to take the kids to different places in the morning (because older kid will start kindergarten in the fall) which would be very challenging as just handling one half of drop off/pickup already interferes with my work schedule, and (3) I would probably have to give up on my very good chances of making partner at my biglaw firm for a variety of complicated reasons, not the least of which is knowing I don’t have it in me to make the final push while pregnant/with a newborn. Clearly the sensible choice is not having another kid, but how to get my head and heart in the same place?

    • Anonymous says

      You might be me, except that my LO is a little bit younger and I’ve already made partner… but otherwise, all the same considerations are swimming through my head constantly. I’m pretty close to being at peace with only having one, but every now and again there’s a niggling feeling in the back of my head that maybe 2 is right for us. We’d always planned on two, and realistically I know we can afford 2 (though we may not be able to afford all of the “extras” that we can with just one). But we had some issues getting pregnant with one and frankly just even adding the one threw our lives for a bit of a loop. We’re just now coming up for air and feeling like things are good. Honestly, I think one is right for us, but I wish I could rent a baby like once a week to cuddle for an hour or two…

    • meme says

      You just have to decide what you want and then go for it. It’s your life, so live it how you want. If you want to go with your head, do that and realize it’s a decision you’re making, a way you’re choosing to prioritize, and own it. Or you can choose to go with your heart. It’s a matter of priorities, and you get to pick. I chose more kids and career sacrifices. It helped me to realize it’s really just my choice, not that one way is right or wrong, and then to own my choice. Good luck!

  4. Anonymous says

    Mamas, especially mamas of more than one, how on earth do you find time to exercise? Since having my second baby a year ago, I feel like I just can’t fit it in. I’ve pretty much lost the baby weight, but I feel icky when I don’t get enough exercise. I try to jog in the morning before the kids get up if I’m not too exhausted, but this happens like once a week. Or take the jogging stroller if the baby wakes up early, but I usually feel like it is too cold and too much of a pain to bundle him up. Or I do a 7-minute workout. I have a gym in my building at work (but not at home; I miss you apartment convenience!), but I never feel like I have time to use it. I dunno, maybe I’m just looking for someone to tell me to suck it up and get off my a** :)

    • Anonymous says

      Granted I only have 1, but my only solution has been to get up at 4:30 and drag my butt to a 5:00 am class that charges you if you don’t show up. I’ve been doing it since the fall and it’s really started to become a habit that’s stuck. I tried lots of other things (getting up to run on my own – mostly a fail; working out mid-day at the office – ok workout, but the afternoon was a bust afterwards as I never felt comfortable/clean/into work again; working out after kiddo bedtime – entirely a fail, even in my own home).

      • Anonymous says

        +1. I get up at 5:30 and either go for a run before my spouse leaves or use the spin bike I have in my house. I also go to the gym both days on the weekend.

        • Anon says

          My twins are 18-months old and I still haven’t been able to work it in reliably. I usually take an hour long run on weekends with my husband pushing the stroller, which helps.
          I too am in the suburbs and have no great gyms nearby. We have a room that we can turn into a gym and I hope to get it in shape over the next month or two – have been focused on other house projects. For me, the only solution will be working out at home either at 6am or after the kids go to bed. I’m definitely more of a class person, so will have to work on finding the motivation.
          Anon @10:37, do you have a Peloton bike? If so, how do you like it.

          • Anonymous says

            I do have a Peloton bikes and I’m very happy with it. I bought it because my spouse got a new job which meant I had to do drop off and give up my morning gym workouts. I think the bike is very well designed and made, and I haven’t gotten anywhere near running out of classes. In terms of class difficulty, I don’t find them as challenging as the in-person classes I used to take, which were directed towards serious recreational cyclists, but I do find Peloton classes harder than SoulCycle.

      • Anonymous says

        Same from another mother of one. Wake up at 530 to get to a 7 am class that charges $15-20 if I don’t show, depending on whether I cancel late or just no-show. Right now this is doable because DH can get himself and 4-month old DS ready in the morning without too much effort. I’m already thinking that when DS is a bit older, I’ll have to switch to the 6 am class.

      • Lyssa says

        I’m curious – what time are you guys going to bed to get up at 4:30-5:30 to work out? Getting up at 5:45 (just to get ready for work and get there) from bed at 10:30 ish is hard enough, but if I went to bed any earlier, I’d basically get no downtime at all.

        • Anonymous says

          I’m the original commenter in this line. I go to bed no later than 9:30 pm to get up at 4:30 am. Honestly, I get about an hour of downtime after LO goes to bed at night (less if I have to work from home that night), and I get 30-45 minutes in the morning after I get back from class. I freakin’ love my time from 6-6:30. I drink coffee, watch the news, watch the sunrise. It’s my “me” time.

        • JJ says

          I get in bed by 9 or 9:15 and I’m asleep by 10. I always think “tonight I’ll go to sleep earlier!” but then I spend 30 minutes farting around on the internet, watching TV, or reading.

          I use my workout time as my downtime, I guess.

    • JJ says

      Honestly, it took until my youngest was 18 months old before we had a reliable routine where I felt like I could squeeze in working out. Now I get up at 4 am, go to to the gym and workout until 5:45ish, and come home right when husband and my oldest are waking up. It’s literally then or never for me.

      The good news is, I’m much MUCH happier when I take that time for me most days (probably 4 times during weekdays and once a weekend if I’m motivated). And if you do this, you’ll never have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep at night. The bad news is, it really does suck when your alarm goes off at 4. That never gets better.

    • meme says

      The only thing that has ever worked for me is to (1) get up early while hubs and kids are sleeping/rely on him to get the morning routine started without me; and (2) make an appointment to meet up with a running/gym buddy. Number 2 is key for me. I am not capable of getting up early to exercise by myself (I’ll hit snooze every.single.time), but it’s pretty easy if I’m meeting up with someone else.

    • Jen says

      When I was pregnant with our second I got a treadmill because I knew that even though the gym was 10 minutes away, I wouldn’t go. It has been more than worth the investment and my husband and I work out a schedule where we take turns either getting up early with the kids or working out so we each get in at least 5 work outs a week. Weekends are much easier. It was super hard when I was in private practice so I understand how challenging it can be and am happy to have a much more regular gov’t job now. I’ve been able to run and train for marathons, something I could have never done while working at a firm.

    • Famouscait says

      Pre-kiddo, I worked out 4 – 5 days a week after work. Now I try to accomplish at least two of the following each week:

      Tuesday: 4:30pm spin class (leave work a little early). Pickup from daycare by 6pm.
      Wednesday: 6am yoga class. Getting ready/drop-off depend on that day’s commitments.
      Friday: (when weather warms up and is light longer) 5:30pm outdoor bootcamp. DH does daycare pickup and I’m ok missing a bit of evening time with kiddo because we’re at the weekend.
      Saturday: run while kiddo naps or take to childcare at the gym
      Sunday: run with kiddo in stroller

      When the weather warms up sometimes I get home early enough to walk the dog and stroller to daycare to pick-up kiddo. That’s an all-around win because its 1) time with kiddo 2) time with dog 3) time outside 4) accomplishes two tasks with one effort!

      My problem with morning workouts is that I really need the time after work to decompress and create a boundary between work and home.

    • Spirograph says

      After kids are in bed. Bedtime for the baby is 7, and 3yo is 8-8:30, but I most of the time my husband doesn’t mind if I take off once my son is in pj’s with his teeth brushed, so I aim to head out around 8 at least 3x per week. TBH, 1st trimester exhaustion has been kicking my @ss lately and I haven’t been in the evening for a few weeks, but I’m almost ready to start up again. I also go on Saturday morning and drop the kids off at babysitting while H relaxes at home for a bit. And our weekend activities tend to be pretty active; lots of walks, hiking, biking now that the weather is getting nicer…

      I want to be a morning workout person, but I consistently fail at going to bed early enough to make it feasible.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      We found a kid friendly gym so we can drop off them off in daycare for an hour and workout together a couple times a week. I have a class once a week and my husband does running club once a week. We also go on the weekends and I try to fit it lunch time or early afternoon workouts since the gym is close to my work. We pay double than we did at our old gym but 2 hours a day of babysitting is so worth it. I am not convinced that my husband doesn’t go to the gym some days just for those 2 hours since he stays home with them. I try to make it a priority since I am so much happier when I workout.

    • MDMom says

      I only have one. He goes to bed at 7 and I work out then using our weightlifting equipment in the basement. I manage about 2 x per week. I think you have to make it as convenient as possible and work with your preferences. I hate running and am not a morning person so 5am jogs will never happen.

      • anon says

        I only have one, and I get up about 30 minutes earlier to do a FitnessBlender.com 30 minute workout in my living room. I often end up watching the video on my phone while my husband watches TV and finishes his breakfast and my son watches a video on our laptop while eating breakfast. Getting over feeling self-conscious about working out in front of my husband and getting over needing to hear motivating music while exercising made this possible for me. And Fitness blender is great – they have 2 different 8 week series of 30 min or less workouts you can buy (you’re just paying for the schedule; all the video content is free), and they are not annoying. Also, I didn’t start doing this regularly until my son was 2 I think. BTW, am I the only one who finds that working out on weekends is paradoxically a bad idea? I am too tired to run around doing errands and such the rest of the day, rather than sitting at a desk.

        • JJ says

          I hate working out on weekends. It’s my one opportunity to sleep in (sleeping in = later than 6 am). I’d rather cram all my “work” and “working out” during the week and leave the weekends free for whatever I want to do.

    • anon says

      During the workweek, I exercise three days at 9:30 or 9:45 pm. (Get home 6:45/7, dinner, baby is in bed by 7:30, work from 7:30-9:30). I do either a 12 or 16 minute HIIT workout that doesn’t require equipment, or lift weights in our basement — nothing fancy, a bench and some free weights. I run and lift weights on weekends. I am desperately trying to find a way to squeeze in a run during the week — we have a treadmill but I can’t really run after dinner for digestive reasons. The only way I can see to do it is to run at lunchtime on days that I stay at work late, but I try not to do that because if I do, it’s not enough baby time. The HIIT workouts are honestly not enough for me and not the same as a long walk or a run, but they are all I can manage for now.

    • EB0220 says

      I work out at lunch, and I have a babysitter two nights a week to work out in the evenings. In most cases, I’m working out with my husband, so it’s also some date time. We also go out for drinks with friends or by ourselves one of the nights (after the workout).

  5. Preemie Mom says

    DC/NOVA moms – have you been to the Northern Virginia Parents of Multiples semi-annual consignment/vendor fair and, if so: (1) is it worth it? looking for two specific big ticket items – a jogging stroller and toddler sized table and chairs; and (2) if you don’t get there at the stroke of 9 when it opens (or line up before?), will all the good stuff be gone? Thanks!

    • Rabumba says

      I haven’t been to that sale, but there’s another coming up in April (Just Between Friends Loudoun) that I went to before my son was born. I made out like a bandit and would highly recommend it for big things like strollers, pack and plays, tables, etc. If you volunteer, you can shop earlier than the general admission time, which was great in the fall.

  6. Meg Murry says

    I like the dress, but I’m still annoyed at how LE handled the Gloria Steinem interview and then apology. Now that I re-read it with a cooler head, I’m not so furious at the apology (it basically says “sorry if you were offended”) but I’m still ticked that they felt it necessary to apologize at all, and that they didn’t back Steinem in any way.

    I’m normally a big LE fan (I am wearing at least 1 LE piece every single day on my current business trip, I just realized) but I don’t think I want to give them any of my money right now.

    • Anonymous says

      co-sign. I’m disappointed in how they handled it. Not sure if I’m going to actually ‘boycott’ longer term but feel icky about LE at the moment.

    • lucy stone says

      I’m irritated with them as well. We are huge LE customers and my MIL worked there for a while in the 90s, so I’m really torn between supporting a Wisconsin company and telling them to pound sand. I did email them a complaint and made sure to reference my most recent order numbers so they knew I was an actual customer and not just some crazy wingnut.

    • Kate says

      I clicked on this thread to see if anyone else was as outraged as I was!!! I am not going to shop there anymore. And I love their stuff!! I just don’t understand how they could reverse course so quickly and remove all “offending” references. Is being for women’s equality that bad???

  7. Syd says

    Can anyone share pain management tips they’ve used for a natural labor? I’ll be in a hospital setting with regular OBs (no midwife or doula), but they are very supportive. I had a bad experience with an epidural and would prefer not to have one. The other pain meds they give did nothing for me the first time around. I have read Ina May’s book and am open to other reading suggestions!

    • Going anon for this says

      I had a hospital birth with a doula and actually really enjoyed labor. Here is what helped me:

      Finding a position that was most comfortable for me to labor in through contractions. For me, it was hands/knees or child’s pose.

      I held a really hard comb in my hand that actually was painful, but it basically distracted me from the other labor pain. It was suggested by my doula and was awesome. My husband would also kneed the centers of my feet so hard it was painful, but good painful during contractions.

      Lots of cold washcloths.

      Reminding myself that there were going to be breaks and that there was a finite end point- this wasn’t going to last forever.

      Honestly, I just got into the zone. I barely spoke through my labor and it was great. We had a wireless bluetooth speaker in there playing music and I would sometimes listen to the music, but I focused on just that second and what was going on. It was much like what I do when I’m on a hard run or intense spin class.

      I really had planned on lots of moving around and laboring in the shower or tub, but those didn’t end up being options because of a few variables.

      • OP says

        These are so practical…thank you!! I have my whole playlist planned already, and I think that’s going to be particularly helpful for me.

    • Anonymous says

      For your situation I highly recommend a book called “Natural Hospital Birth”. Is there a particular reason you’re not having a doula?

      Additional child birth prep classes like Hypnobabies, Hypnobirthing, Birthing from Within can help prepare you as well. I recommend classes over just reading the book because I think it’s a better way to engage husbands in the process. This stuff can get pretty crunchy though so take it with a grain of salt.

      Prenatal yoga is also very helpful to prepare your body. The main thing that got me through two epidural free births was thinking of the birth as a marathon not a sprint and remembering that however things went, it would be over within 24-36 hours (because usually you’ll have to have a section if you’re in active labor for that long).

      If you have had a negative past birth experience, look into counselors that specialize in that area. One or two sessions may help you get rid of fear/anxiety about the birth process which will in turn help in go more smoothly this time.

      • OP says

        I considered a doula, but really feel like the less people I have around the more comfortable I will be. I’m taking prenatal yoga from a doula, however, and have gleaned some good tips from her. Overall I was happy with my first birth experience, just not the epidural, so I don’t have much anxiety about it, I just want to prepare myself for the pain as much as I can. Thanks for the book recommendation!

      • lucy stone says

        Prenatal yoga is way too woo-woo for my small town. Does anyone have any good online recommendations?

    • NewMomAnon says

      I kept in mind that the pain would end eventually, and I also focused on making this low, round ooo sound. I don’t know why that was helpful; maybe it was a little hypnotic? I found laboring in the shower and the tub to be so soothing. I had thought I would want to change positions constantly, but it was actually more helpful to just get in the zone in one spot and stay there.

      • DC Mom says

        +1 for Hynobirthing. The name sounds a little crazy, but it really taught me how to relax through labor and the skills have been useful far after child birth. The classes also helped engage DH.

    • RDC says

      Also would recommend a doula if you’re open to reconsidering. For me the key was just focusing one contraction at a time, not thinking about how much longer this would go on. If I stayed focused on just one at a time, it was fine – each one was like, ok, that was manageable. I think it’s thinking about it going on seemingly forever that makes it overwhelming.

      Also, one tip I heard was just focus on getting through 3 contractions before making a change. Like, maybe after three more we’ll talk about an epidural. And by 3 more I would realize I was ok to keep going.

    • MDMom says

      Hot shower was only thing that helped towards the end and it was amazing. I did hypnobabies and liked it but it was only helpful for the first half or so. Same for music. At some point I ran out of mental endurance and was just white knuckling it at the end. The faster it goes the better. Remember it will be over tomorrow (most likely…).

      What didnt you like about epidural? Im considering having one next time…

      • OP says

        I couldn’t feel a single thing! (I know, kind of the point). But I wasn’t feeling the urge to push, wasn’t efficient at pushing, and it took three hours. Even after asking them to turn it down, I still was too numb to feel when the contractions were coming. I was also cruising right along and as soon as I got the epidural I stopped dilating for a couple of hours.

        • anon says

          I’m sorry to hear that! That is totally the opposite of my experience with an epidural — dilation speeded way up when I got it, could feel to push/feel the contractions to know when to, etc. I wish we could all know ahead of time how it would go — it’s so hard to know whether and when to make all these choices.

    • MomAnon4This says

      Pause, Breathing in, pausing, exhaling with sound, an AHH sound or an OOOHHH sound. (think “OPEN”)
      They called my doula “the singing doula”. Even though the baby didn’t come down and I needed an unplanned c-section, I was doing this under the influence of the drugs! I don’t even remember. I was hoarse in the recovery room. I still use this as a mediation.

      This kind of thing would even be helpful while getting an epidural, I think (I’ve had 2 epidurals).

    • EB0220 says

      I had an epidural with my first and a 3 hour natural labor with my second. Honestly, the doula really helped me. Otherwise, I just got through it. Most important for me, I think, was staying in the moment. Handle the contractions as they come. Don’t think about how far you have to go. The only point at which I almost lost hope was when I checked into the hospital about 2 hrs into labor. They said I was 5 cm and I felt like I was much further along based on the contractions. My doula and husband calmed me down, I focused on each contraction individually and my baby was there within an hour.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 to “just get through it.” My labors were fast and a little chaotic. I breathed through the contractions as best I could, buy there was no strategy going on once I was in the hospital. At home, I walked around, took a bath/shower, and hummed to myself through contractions. Early labor is easy, though. In transition, all bets are off.

    • Quail says

      I liked the Ina May Gaskin books, even though they are totally cuckoo on a lot of things. I especially found the “open” visualizations very helpful to think about the contractions working. I had a natural labor and birth and labored at home up until the very last minute (a little too last minute, thanks OB who didn’t believe me!). I spent most of the time in the shower or tub, on my hands and knees. Not planned, just went with it. So, make sure your water heater is ready!

      I had a doula but due to weather she didn’t make it to my house until we left for the hospital and kid was born shortly after, so I can’t really say whether she would have been helpful. I would venture to guess no, because once I kicked into active labor I did not want to talk to or see anyone. And I never, ever would have guessed that would be my reaction. During our pre-birth convos the doula asked if I was inward or outward facing generally, and I said outward. So maybe think about how you felt during the last labor – that also might give you ideas of what might help you (loud music vs. massage? Encouraging words or silent handing you a water bottle?)

  8. Carrying says

    I like daydreaming about raising our baby, even though we’re at least a year away from TTC, so please bear with me on this question.

    How many of you use those slings to carry your baby? To me, it seems super practical to use one almost exclusively, but I would love to hear the pros/cons. If you don’t use one, what do you do? How many different carrying apparatuses do you use? The thought of lugging a huge stroller into restaurants/in and out of cars/in crowded places sounds absolutely terrible.

    • Jen says

      I used the Baby K’tan for both of my kids, but I used it much, much more for my second when I needed another set of hands. I know a lot of parents love the Moby Wrap, but I could not for the life of me figure it out. I loved having a sling but it didn’t obviate the need for a stroller. I only had one sling (other than the failed Moby which I just gave away) and that was plenty. I’ll put in a plug for the Quinny stroller to be used with the Maxi Cosi infant car seat. When your child is really small, the car seat attaches to a stroller and is super easy to use. The stroller can fold up so small that it can be stowed in airplanes and small cars. I’m a runner so having a BOB was really important to me and I loved it. So, yes to slings, but I’m still really happy we had strollers.

      • Carrying says

        When do you think a stroller is absolutely necessary, other than on runs? Have you ever found baby/sling to hurt your back or be uncomfortable, or situations in which it was inconvenient?

        • RDC says

          I found it to be a hassle to get kid into/out of carriers, so I wouldn’t use one for quick trips like from car to daycare or car to restaurants. I didn’t have a sling but used a moby and an ergo. I also never really worked out carriers with winter gear (over? Under?). I did like carriers for longer walks or crowded places like the farmers market where a stroller was too big.

        • anon says

          We rarely used a stroller — just starting to now at a year — but yes, the sling (K’tan) hurt our backs on long walks after the baby hit 12 lb and around the house after he hit about 15-18 lb. We switched to an Ergo at that time. Also, any baby carrier hurt my back for the first 1-2 months because my core muscles did not exist.

    • mascot says

      There are so many variables that are hard to predict. We used a combination of an Ergo, infant carseat, and stroller. I liked babywearing when baby wanted to be held, but I needed to do things around the house or we were on a walk or whatever. My husband also liked to wear him at times. Sometimes babywearing doesn’t work because it is too hot, or you and baby aren’t feeling it, etc so those times you may want the stroller or carseat. My general advice for almost all things parenting is to keep your mind/options open and see what works for you and your baby.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m a bit fan of babywearing. I liked Moby wrap for when baby was tiny and then Ergo afterwards. Join a local babywearing group on Facebook as they often have meet ups where you can try out different wraps/slings/carriers. Post baby you can post pictures and people can let you know if baby’s position is good or needs adjusting.

      Slings can be great but they can also a bit tricky to ensure that young babies are high enough and visible enough to be safe. Definitely make sure you get good advice on safe use.

      • Carrying says

        Did you ever have to use a stroller or did you babywear (is that a verb?) exclusively?

        • Anonymous says

          I also had a stroller + car seat (Quinny Buzz + Maxi Cosi car seat) because I live in a car dependent suburb. I babywore a ton around the house and also while shopping once baby was too big for the bucket seat. He generally preferred being up and able to look around instead of being in the bucket seat if he was awake.

          Whether you can go without a stroller and car seat totally depends on your location and lifestyle. Most people I know have both. DH also really liked babywearing which was super cute.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I had a Moby and a home-made “tube sling” when my kiddo was little. The Moby was a pain; it got stretched out when baby was inserted and then didn’t recover when baby came out, so I had to constantly re-tie it (and that’s a lot of fabric in case you haven’t tried it). The tube sling was good for bopping around the house with baby, but it did limit the use of one arm because you wear it cross-body. I think I would have lived in a K’Tan if I had known about it at the time.

      Other downsides- my baby was squirmy and tended to get her feet under her, then pop out of the sling, so it wasn’t a very stable situation. I liked having the stroller/infant bucket combo for times when we would be in popping in and out of the car, so baby could just sleep in the infant bucket without being woken up to get in and out of the car seat. Also if I was going for a long walk because wearing a sling/carrier for long periods of time can kill your back and hips if you aren’t used to it, and because my chest and stomach would get SO SWEATY from wearing a baby (as in, the whole front of my shirt would be a big wet baby-shaped blob).

      And this is total vanity – babywearing made me stick my tummy out, throw my shoulders back, and really emphasized my swayback…so it made me feel super dumpy and unattractive. I know some moms look awesome and goddess-like when babywearing, but I didn’t. And that led to more use of the stroller than I had probably anticipated, if I’m being honest.

    • Anons says

      I loved the idea of baby wearing, but turns out my baby hated it. Eventually she warmed up to it, so we now have three carriers. I know you aren’t looking for advice, and I say this from a place of kindness, but most of those daydreaming notions go up in smoke when the baby actually arrives. Your time is better spent invested in your personal relationships or career. You have no idea what kind of baby you might get or how your parenting experience will be. Having some ideal notion in your head of how you will raise your baby can just make it that much harder if your experience is different. You might get an infant with terrible colic that you can’t take out to restaurants (or, really, anywhere) for the first four months. Or you might get a baby that wants to see the world instead of being snuggled up next to mom in a carrier. Or whatever. This is a long-winded way of saying that, when you actually have a baby, issues like stroller-v-carrier will be the least of what you think about, and you might wish you had spent that pre-baby time doing almost anything else. If you really want to think about parenting stuff right now, I recommend listening to the longest shortest time podcast. It covers many parenting issues and is not necessarily geared towards just parents.

      • anon says

        +10,000! I used to daydream about walking on the beach with my baby in a carrier when I was pregnant. Once he was born, I was surprised to find that I couldn’t figure out how to get my son in the sling very well and it hurt my back. The baby bjorn, while easy to use, KILLED my back. The Becco Gemini was my carrier of choice, but it pressed on my bladder, making me wet myself (another unexpected gift of motherhood) -when my son was 2 months old, I got to take my walk on the beach with him in the carrier, and basically slowly wet my pants the whole way (not quite my dream). Also, carrying a baby in the summer all the time is miserably hot. Daydream all you want; it isn’t going to hurt, but don’t waste time worrying.

        • MomAnon4This says

          I’m sorry you wet yourself, but this has been my post-baby experience, too – no matter how many kegels, there’s squirting. :(

          • anon says

            Yeah, I’ve resigned myself to having surgery once I am 100% sure I’m not having another. It doesn’t bother me that much any more.

            One more stupid note about strollers – I live in NYC, and we use the stroller every single day as part of our commute. Carrying a baby has its advantages, but I infinitely prefer to drag around a stroller for a 35 pound 3.5 year old who walks at a glacial pace (literally 0.5 miles/hour, FYI). We almost always fold it up in a restaurant or leave it outside. Dealing with a stroller is the least annoying part of dining out with a child.

          • Anonymous says

            Before surgery try PT with a physio that specializes in women’s health. Proper physio treatment not just doing kegels as described in a women’s magazine/online made a huge difference for me.

    • SoCalAtty says

      I have a Lillebaby that I LOVE. You can use it from birth with no insert, it doesn’t make us sweaty, and it has a little snap up sunshade. When baby is older you can front face / back / hip carry. I only bust out the stroller if we are going to be walking around more than an hour or two – like a big park, Disneyland, or something like that.

      My baby will happily nap in the carrier, too, so the stroller is only necessary if I’m going to want to put him down for a minute. I also have a water wrap and a water carrier for the pool / beach (Connecta Solar, Wrapsody WrapDuo) and those come in handy for stuffy babies so you can take them in the shower with you easily.

      I find a soft structured / buckle carrier easier than a wrap. My baby is 6 months and I JUST ordered my first “fancy” hand woven wrap, because I’m now comfortable enough wrapping and I want to do some fun back carries with him. And they are so pretty!

      • SoCalAtty says

        Also – taking the stroller into restaurants SUCKS. Once he could sit up on his own a little, I got one of those little high chairs that clamp onto the edge of a table. They’re great!

    • Katarina says

      We have a stroller, but rarely use it, although both sets of grandparents use it while babysitting. We did use the stroller the first 3-4 months with our first, with a bucket seat. My husband especially dislikes the stroller. We have a pretty cheap stroller (Chicco Cortina), and I am glad I did not waste a lot of money on it. If I could go back and do things over again, I would get a K’tan, an Ergo, a snap n go stroller with bucket seat, and a cheap umbrella stroller. I do like using the infant bucket seat in restaurants without a stroller, so there is a place to put the baby down. I could have survived without a stroller.

    • Anonymous says

      My baby was born in June. Baby wearing was really hot. By 6 months she was 19 pounds (this is heavy)- I really didn’t find it comfortable wearing her anymore (I have an ergo). I live in the suburbs and love taking her for walks in our (huge) vista stroller by the lake. When we are walking to a restaurant, we take a smaller stroller that we can fold up and tuck away.

      • SoCalAtty says

        Yep, my 6 month old is 18.5 pounds! But I’m still wearing him in the Lillebaby for anything that is a trip where we are going to be out of the car under an hour. Grocery store, Target, Costco, bakery…all that stuff. Stroller only comes out for extended (over an hour) walking trips. He’s almost big enough for a back carry, and that will be even better.

    • EB0220 says

      We have a nice stroller that we almost never use. Actually, my kids usually refuse to sit in it. I would almost always rather use a carrier (I like wraps the most, then soft structured carriers). The only exception was when my kids were tiny. I’d carry them into a restaurant, etc. in the infant carseat if they fell asleep on the way.

    • LC says

      I personally love babywearing, but I have definitely found some drawbacks. For a good stretch of time, my now-five-month-old hated any sort of carrier. We used the K’tan with great success — he usually slept in it — until around 6 weeks. At that point, he started to realize he was physically able to see things around him, but could not see well in a carrier, due to my need to keep some sort of head support in place. He would scream bloody murder anytime I tried to put him in the K’tan or any other carrier. That only started to resolve at four months, when he got enough head control for me to use the Beco Gemini for any extended period of time without head support. Now he tolerates, maybe even likes, being in the carrier when he’s awake and can look around.

      Despite this, I still use my large stroller (uppababy vista) ALL THE TIME, even despite the reservations you note, for several reasons. One is that my son naps super easily in the stroller, but will only nap in the Beco if he is super exhausted. If I need to get out of the house during naptime, or if we’re at home and he’s fighting the nap, the stroller is key. Another is that I find it super difficult to use the carrier if we’re actually going somewhere — and not just taking a walk — and I want to bring things with me like diapers, wipes, water bottle (so necessary when nursing) or anything else with me. Carrying baby and a separate bag with that stuff is really cumbersome. It’s fine if my husband or mom is also with me, but really hard on my own. The stroller has a huge basket that makes bringing stuff easy. Finally, to the extent I take the baby to restaurants and cafes — which I do occasionally, but I do it WAY WAY WAY less than I thought that I would — I don’t find the carrier workable (perhaps because of, see above, baby who won’t nap in it and needs to constantly look around). He won’t stay in the carrier if I’m sitting down, and then I’m stuck with no place to put him other than my lap (which is not very much fun, especially if I’m trying to actually eat). Much easier to bring the stroller and go somewhere with enough space that it’s workable. Just my own experience.

      • SoCalAtty says

        Agree with this too! We have the Vista as well, and, while it is a BEAR to travel with (I think a GLuxe is in our future…) I just love using it. My 6 month old naps great there.

    • Clementine says

      Late to the party, but I have a ring sling that I LOOOOOVVVE and an ergo baby I also LOOOVVEEE (but for other things) and I’m considering getting either a kinder pack or a Tula carrier.

      I also have and love my stroller (City Mini GT- love it and will tell you more about how much I love it if you need me to). I use all of them for different things:

      Benefit to the stroller is that my carseat clicks right into it, so it’s super convenient to not unbuckle sleeping baby and bring out of the car. Strollers are also really nice when you’re somewhere you might want to set baby down at some point.

      I love my sling for quick pop in/pop out things. I also use it when I know I’ll be sitting a lot as it’s very comfortable to sit in (ergo is not). I use my ergo when I’m going to be walking a lot or know I’ll be needing to bend over or when I need to do two handed things around the house.

      I also am going to give a plug for carriers as a great way to discreetly nurse in public. In the past 5 days, I’ve nursed in two different restaurants in a carrier (once in the sling, once in the ergo) and no one except for myself and my husband knew I was nursing. While I’m super free with whipping out the b00b, I recognize that not everyone is as comfortable/wants to answer 50,000 questions from their 8 year old boy who was sitting at the table next to us.

  9. Samantha says

    Can anyone recommend a cup for my 5 year old to drink milk from?
    Transitioning to drinking milk from a regular ceramic mug has been hard for him. He has been using (metal) straws to drink from various plastic cups but I’d like to move away from plastic, and from straws. He also likes to drink on the sofa so we end up with spills.
    I’d like him to use a coffee style mug. Got him a ninja turtle cup but he complains that the handle isn’t easy to hold for him. Not sure what’s a good compromise here. What do kids drink from at this stage?

    • Maddie Ross says

      Like a ceramic coffee mug, or a travel one? I have a travel mug from REI that we use with my daughter. It’s squat and sized more like an actual mug than a tall normal travel one. It’s stainless steel/aluminum with a silicone lid. It’s not totally spill-proof, but more like spill-limited.

    • NewMomAnon says

      A five year old is nothing like a 2 year old, so take this with a grain of salt – I thought a coffee mug would be easier for my toddler because of the handle, but it turns out that the handle actually makes it off-balance and more likely to be carried at an angle. It’s easier for her to remember to keep a cup upright if it has two handles or no handles. Wish I had a suggestion for you.

    • Samantha says

      I was thinking ceramic one, but travel one is a good option as well, thanks. I have offered him my travel mug but he doesnt like it enough to switch from his straw situation. Having a superhero on it might help I guess.

    • mascot says

      Is the ceramic mug too thick for his comfort? At the table, we use small juice glasses. Easy for my 5 year old to hold and not a big mess if they are knocked over. You can probably find some durable ones. Tervis kid size tumblers with a lid are what we use for drinks in the family room. We encourage him to put them on a side table when not in use and that seems to help with spills.

    • MomAnon4This says

      We have some small ceramic mugs, from a cheaper dish set from when we were single. Maybe it holds 8 ounces max, perfect for 6 ounces of cocoa that we make for the kid sometime. Microwavable.

      We really don’t use special cups or mugs that much, just adult ones that are smaller, like the juice glasses mentioned.

    • Anonymous says

      I just use regular glasses with my 4.5 year old and don’t let him drink anything but water away from the table, but what about a life factory bottle? They have various lids for various stages of ability to drink without spilling.

  10. SC says

    Does anyone have suggestions for freezer meals or meals that can be prepped/frozen and then cooked in the crockpot or heated up instantly? I eat meat and don’t have allergies, but I’m not a big fan of soups or stews. I need to have dinner ready within about 10-15 minutes of walking in the door though.

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