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Makeup & Beauty Monday: Eyebrow-Enhancing Serum

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I’m a total skeptic when it comes to claims that makeup/beauty products make. However, due to that aforementioned overzealous eyebrow threader I encountered, I was desperate for something to fill in a bare spot on my eyebrow. I saw this product online, and across a bunch of sites it had positive reviews.

I diligently applied it AM and PM, and I just finished my first tube.

You guys.

This worked for me!

{related: is microblading worth it? (from guest poster, Adina J. of Blue Collar Red Lipstick)}

It made my eyebrows grow longer, faster, and MUCH darker. Too dark actually, so I am going to lay off of it for a while. Since my eyebrows are growing so fast, I am able to get them reshaped, as if I am starting from scratch.

I am shocked, but this product worked for me. It is $39.99 at Ulta but also available at Walmart for $28.90. Eyebrow Enhancing Serum 

{related: here’s Kate’s Browvo! review}

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Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

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  • Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; 40% off new baby essentials
  • Old Navy – 30% off your order; $13 kid/toddler jeans
  • Target – Up to 60% off PlayStation games; kids’ summer styles from $6; outdoor toys from $3

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Anon says

    tips for 2 adults working from home in a 2 bedroom apartment with 21 month old twins and no childcare? we plan on taking shifts, but our kids are at a challenging age where they are very mobile so need 24/7 supervision and even screens don’t keep their attention for more than like 7 minutes. this honestly would’ve probably been easier a year ago when they couldn’t walk and didn’t require so much entertainment. we’ve tried some of the busy toddler activities but so far we haven’t found any that both kids like, so even if we have one kid entertained the other one is not.

      • Anonymous says

        Sorry I don’t mean this to sound negative, it’s just really hard. And your State May give you or your husband job protected leave and the new federal law might give you some pay.

    • Anon says

      That sounds really hard. I have a 4 and a 5 year old, and I keep thinking how much harder this would have been 2 years ago before they could self entertain as much as they can now (but to your point were also past being babies).

      No huge suggestions but I found the Little Baby Bum series was the screen time that held their attention the longest at the youngest age. You’ve probably already tried that, but just in case… Good luck!!

    • anne-on says

      Honestly, shifts. I’d talk to your managers and see if they can get used to your ‘new normal’. I would suggest 2-3 hour blocks and then you swap, and then each of you try to get as much work done before wake-up or after bed time. If possible can you swap days when you’re each responsible for dinner/prep for the next day? Ditto for weekend days – if you can each get 2-3 hours of work in per weekend day that will help too.
      If you’re not already – prep as much as you can every night. Pack lunches at night so you can just grab them out of the fridge when it’s lunch time, run laundry every night and fold the previous night’s when you can. Rely on ‘easy’ and frozen meals as much as you can. This is really hard, you have all my sympathies.

    • OP says

      appreciate the tips and commiseration. i know that everyone is experiencing different challenges these days, but i’m already tired of my friends with older kids and single colleagues talking about how they are gaining so much time from not commuting, have all of this time to organize their homes, etc. whereas without our nanny, we are definitely going to come out of this significantly more exhausted and rundown than when we went in. and and then will of course be expected to ramp it up at work.

      • Anonymous says

        We are with you and are in survival mode at our house. Over the weekend DH and I both went to bed super early and napped during naptime. It’ll be a marathon. Take care of yourselves.

        • AwayEmily says

          Oh yeah, I’m also doing this. I nap for an hour during my kids’ nap, which allows me to stay up later at night, and therefore get a longer solid block of work time in after the kids go to bed. I also find that a short nap makes me MUCH more able to take on the afternoon. Obviously not possible for people who need to be on the clock, but if you have any flexibility it could help.

      • Anon says

        Honestly, it’s not great but we’re still having our nanny come. She’s a single woman in her 50s. Lives 10 minutes from us. But I’m slammed at work now (I’m an employment lawyer). I’m also pregnant so can’t physically work at night or do shifts with my husband to watch my 22 month old. We’ve mutually agreed to do this for the time being.

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly, I’m debating whether to ask to go part-time or even to quit my job. It’s so hard, and right now my husband’s job is ramping up (he’s in a field relating to aid/disaster preparedness). We’re taking it one week at a time.

    • AwayEmily says

      I am so so sympathetic. I think the age of like 12-36 months is especially challenging in this situation because of the incredibly short attention span (including inability to watch screens for very long) and need for close supervision. I have a 3.5yo and a 2yo. The 3.5yo is fine — she can watch TV, do art, bake something, understands when I tell her I need to set a timer and work for awhile. The 25-month-old…not so much. And you have TWO of them! That is really , really hard. And I also find myself feeling jealous/resentful of people with older kids, even though I know that is completely unfair and they are dealing with their own set of challenges.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        I have an almost 4 year old and a 17 month old and when one is not hard, the other is. I’m feeling a lot of resentment about pretty much everyone not in this situation and can’t deal with all of the articles about what we can all do now with “our free time.” There is no free time.

        • AIMS says

          Yep. My older kid is doing online school sessions 3 times a day, which would be great if the 2 year old didn’t freak out each and every time. I feel bad but I am constantly getting upset with him because he makes everything so impossible.

          This is all way too hard with little kids!

          We’re doing shifts basically where we each get to be miserable for a few hours while the other works. one key thing for getting work done is headphones – because otherwise it’s too easy to get distracted by all the screaming.

          My other suggestion, if your schedule allows it & your work isn’t dependent on other people, is wake up before your kids. I foresee a few days of bedtime at 830 for me and wake up at 3/4 so I can get work done while everyone sleeps.

          • Boston Legal Eagle says

            AIMS, solidarity – “We’re doing shifts basically where we each get to be miserable for a few hours while the other works.” made me laugh, because so true. Yes, headphones for the win!

        • KatieWolf says

          This! I saw a neighbor this weekend while walking the dogs, she complained about getting bored and asked DH and I how we were doing. We said with baby (15 months), we are definitely never, never bored. I wish!

    • Anonymous says

      ok. I have 3 kids and the youngest is 21 months. DH and I are both WFH. We have my mom coming by to help sometimes (she lives right near us and doesn’t see anyone else; she’s also very healthy and just turned 60). When my mom is NOT here, here is what we do:

      1. Accept that both parties cannot put in a full 8 hour day (or whatever your normal is) 5 days a week. It just won’t happen and it’s silly to try and pretend it will. Assume you will be playing catch-up on weekends and work with your management on taking time off or just stepping back.
      2. Divide up. Either I will take a day off/ clear my day, or DH will. The other will take the kids for the entire day. Ideally out of the house (we have a yard, and a neighborhood, and we are in an area that is not on full lockdown so we can go hiking or whatever). The off-work parent and all the kids are out of the house from 9am to lunchtime, then come home for lunch. Then the 21 month old goes down for nap. The working parent finishes up around 5.
      When we don’t switch off full days, we try for 5 straight hours of productivity per person. Our kids get up around 7. One parent gets up and starts working by 6am and finishes up in time to take over at lunch. Then at lunch the other parent starts working and stops at dinnertime. In your case you can *both* work during naptime.

      Nobody is a magician. There are some scenarios that are straight up not possible. This is one of them.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      My husband is doing part time hours now while I continue to do more or less full time (I don’t bill so I just need to move projects along). Both bosses are fairly understanding that this is not normal times. Other teams (see, childless folks) not as much, but what can we do. We split shifts of watching the kids and working throughout the day, and both working during nap time/older kids’s TV time. In your situation, I would strongly encourage one of you, ideally both, to do a reduced schedule of some sort. Two toddlers that age in a small space is really really REALLY hard. It would be hard on anyone so don’t feel bad that you can’t make it work. I agree that this is an impossible situation to just manage and is really unfair to working parents.

    • A says

      This is really hard. I have a 21 month old and a five year old, so not quite your same situation, but similar. I would also recommend trading off with your husband as needed. We aren’t doing 4-5 hour blocks. More like 1.5-2 hours at a time, and this morning I took a call while simultaneously removing a marker from my toddler’s mouth. Our employers are being understanding–honestly, what are people supposed to do right now? Otherwise, I am getting up before the kids to address anything that came in overnight or needs a quick response and utilizing naptime to the best of my ability.

      But also…you are a human. This is exhausting, and if you are perpetually working or caring for kids, you’ll burn out. Do the best you can, but take care of yourself. Everyone’s lives have been upended, and I truly hope that the various powers that be can recognize and understand we’re all just trying to make it through the day.

    • HSAL says

      We’ve also got 21 month old twins and a 4 1/2 year old and today is our first day of this so I’m looking at all these tips. Luckily I’m part-time so I’ve told my job that all my substantive work will be during naptime and after bed. Of course, that means I’m running from 6:30 to 9:30 every day. So far my husband took over while I went to the store and he took the oldest during a conference call. But it’s not even lunch and I’ve cried twice. So…. Agree with Little Baby Bum. That’s our best success for screen time so far but they’re finally working up their tolerance to some other cartoons. I feel ridiculous that I’m TRYING to increase their screen time but…desperate times.

      • A says

        Oh my goodness, SAME. I am desperately trying anything to get my 21 month old to watch TV for longer than ten seconds.

    • asdf says

      I feel you – I have one 20 month old and it’s rough. Honestly, I am seriously thinking of hiring someone to come in for 4 hours in the morning a few times a week (until his nap). Not ideal but we both need to keep our jobs and I’m concerned this will go on for 2 months or so. House is an effing disaster. We have a roomba and it’s my new favorite child.

      • asdf says

        I have a list of activity ideas from our daycare. Post a burner email if you want and I’ll forward it to you. Doesn’t get kiddo to self-entertain but gives us ideas. We also hit up Michaels and got playdoh and a huge roll of packing paper which covers our entire coffee table and is slowly being filled up with crayon drawings. Good luck!

    • Anne says

      This is SO hard. We’re doing shifts in two hour blocks(ish) starting at 7:30 AM. I know friends with older kids are doing longer blocks but our young girls are tiring and so far this seems to work better for us. We both work during nap time.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m with you that toddler-age kids are way harder in this situation. We have a 17mo and a dog who suddenly started having seizures last week–it has been completely impossible to stay on top of work. Our 17mo keeps bringing me his coat and shoes and cries when I put them away. Same thing if we go for a walk and pass by a playground without stopping–I’ve learned to avoid them. He’s old enough to see that we’re stressed and that things aren’t normal, but too young to understand any sort of explanation for the change in routine. I feel lucky if he plays independently for 5-10 minutes. We absolutely cannot self-isolate like this for a lot longer.

      • Anon says

        I think there are pluses and minuses to every age. I have a 23 mo old, so very challenging from a caregiving perspective, but fortunately she is in heaven spending all this time with her parents, and doesn’t seem disappointed at all about being stuck home with us. I know if she were even a year older, she’s be much more disappointed about not going to school and seeing friends. I can imagine younger elementary schoolers having a lot of anxiety and fear about the virus (based on what I was like at that age). And if I had middle/high school kids, I’d be grateful for the independence but much more worried about the academic aspect of this, especially if school doesn’t resume in August.

        And I highly recommend going outside as much as possible! It’s not prohibited and is great for mental health.

    • Anonymous says

      I am in this situation but with a 15 month old and a 30 month old. Their favourite activity is “trashing the place”, so I let them pull all the cushions off the couch and tumble over them, unpack the Tupperware cupboard, play with the contents of the recycling bin. They are so psyched to be making a mess that each of these keeps them entertained for 45 minutes or so. Broken up by meals and naps, it gets us through the day. I save screen time for bribes as needed. Noise cancelling earphones are a must for the partner who’s working.

    • Katy says

      We feel you so hard… hubby and I are both in Energy / Finance – so you can imagine that our normal workload has gone insane. We only have one 2 year old and I honestly don’t know how you are typing in coherent sentences right now. We hired a babysitter. She started today. I will still probably work until 1 am… but I am not in tears. She is older (teaching assistant) and can drive herself here. The shifts things sounds great but when you both need to be on conference calls during market hours it doesn’t work. (Friday I logged 5-6 hours on the phone with probably 8 different people)

      Best thing to keep my little one occupied, albeit 6 inches from me… safety scissors and paper, playdough. The pens that I am using….

      GOOD LUCK.

    • GCA says

      Solidarity. This is so hard. Apparently I no longer sleep. Two kids, 4.5 and 1.5. Coffee in the morning, work for 5 hours, husband clocks out of parenting shift and I clock in, wine with dinner, nap with the kids when I put the toddler to bed (that’s my longest stretch of sleep), and then coffee… and here I am at 1.30am thinking about work.

  2. Patricia Gardiner says

    Good morning! Inadvertent nanny questions. Our daycare is closed, and one of our teachers is going to be providing childcare for us in our home. The understanding is that this is temporary, until the crisis is over and the daycare center re-opens. We agreed on a daily rate to be paid in cash. However I realized we didn’t talk at all about taxes, health insurance, etc. Do I need to think about these things? Or is this more akin to a babysitting arrangement in which case I would not worry about that?

    Thank you for any guidance – we never saw ourselves having a nanny so I do not know how this works.

    • Anon says

      if you end up under a ‘shelter in place’ order – do you still plan on having the nanny/babysitter come? my understanding is that they aren’t supposed to come then? i find all of this very confusing…

      • Anon says

        Each order is different. Many of them have exceptions for those taking care of others (elderly, children, nanny-ing).

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly there’s no way I’m paying health insurance for a temporary nanny or setting up taxes. I’d stick with what she agreed to- cash under the table.

      • Anonymous says

        I’m doing the same thing – Pre K teacher is here working now. We agreed to cash under the table and this arrangement until school is back in. If our city gets a shelter in place order that prohibits this, then I will obey the order.

    • RR says

      If you are going to pay her over a certain amount total (something like $2500–can’t remember the exact, but Google would tell you), then your legal obligation is to withhold taxes. You are not under a legal obligation to provide health insurance (in most states), but you are likely under an obligation to have workers comp.

      I understand a lot of people pay under the table, and I’m not judging anyone doing what they need to do right now. But, I personally can’t take the risk, so we do everything by the book. We do have a stay home order, so our nanny is staying home for now.

  3. So Anon says

    How is everyone hanging in there?

    Update on my End: Schools are now closed until the end of April. The ex visited with the kids this weekend by taking a walk in my neighborhood and then going to the beach for a walk on Sunday. The ex wished me good luck with the school closings. I’m trying to just stay sane while working full time with two elementary aged kids.

    • Cb says

      Day 1 of nursery closures here. My husband went into the office this am but put his foot down, saying with childcare responsibilities and an immunocompromised wife, he’d be working from home from now on. So I’ll get some relief. Have sketched out a rough schedule which gives us each 4 hours of work a day. This weekend was really lovely but the idea of months of this feels soul destroying.

    • anne-on says

      Schools closed til mid-April at the earliest here. It’s rough on my extroverted social kiddo. Having a schedule is helping him somewhat but this is tough. On the plus side my husband is stepping up as a partner and I feel good about how we set up the schedule for work/family/school time. We said to each other last night that it’s a bit like going to the early baby/toddler days of all hands on deck at all times. We got through that (and it was a lot longer than 8 weeks!) we can manage this.

      • Anonymous says

        We were just talking about how much it reminded us of newborn days. We never leave the house, sanitize all the time, don’t wear nice clothes, etc, etc. I showered in the afternoon yesterday and put make up on even though I knew we weren’t leaving the house. I just had to feel human again.

        • avocado says

          I am literally working from the armchair that was originally my nursing chair.

          • GCA says

            ha, someone in one of my fb mom groups posted this exact setup in response to a question about home office setups in small spaces, was that you?! :)

        • Anon says

          I feel like newborn days were actually a thousand times easier. My only job was taking care of the baby, I wasn’t supposed to also be working full-time in an office job. I was tired and getting up a lot in the night, sure, but I could take naps whenever I wanted. And newborns sleep so much that even with all my napping I still had a lot of time when DD was asleep and I was awake. I read 30-something books during my 12 week leave, and watched a lot of TV as well. I have not even picked up a book since this COVID-19 thing began.

        • Clementine says

          As someone living through this in both newborn days AND social distancing days, I feel some similarities.

          On leave, days of the weeks stopped being meaningful. We’re trying to keep a stable schedule for the kids, but I did need my husband to confirm whether it was Saturday or Sunday yesterday.

          The ‘needing to work remotely’ is different, but not that different. The big thing is also needing to be the person providing education for the 4 year old and attempting to work without childcare… also, you do take for granted how easy it was to just have one of you pop out to Target for some baby related thing that you would ‘need’, but now you realize is just a ‘nice to have’ and doesn’t meet our household’s bar for essential purchasing.

    • anon says

      Schools closed to mid-April. We had no childcare last week (husband and I both WFH now) but do have our nanny today. She wanted to come – told us she was bored! And it’s so helpful (three kids four and under). I think we COULD get by without here. She commutes via her own car but is seeing both her kids (who are teachers and responsible but I don’t know who they’re seeing). Agh, I’m really torn. It’s been awesome having her.

      We’re in a large city that does have community transmission but no shelter in place order. What would you all do? We aren’t seeing my parents and have isolated ourselves otherwise! I have a busy work day today but for the rest of the week a lot of flexibility – could definitely get away with not having her but so much easier with a 10 month old, 3 year old and 4 year old to have her even when I’m not working as much!

      I’m super torn. Partially because I think she genuinely is happy to be here (which is great!)

    • Pogo says

      Week 2 of Work at Home, Child at Home. My mom is coming over in the mornings, not sure what the plan will be when we switch to stay at home order tomorrow.

      My biggest problem is I have a sinus infection, and I cannot get through to any doctors. FINALLY got through to my OB and they were like, Oh we won’t treat that, deal with your PCP. I just keep getting a message about guidance about COVID-19 testing and a hotline to call. I’m thisclose to taking an emergency z-pack I have socked away for just such occasions. I am miserable and DH thinks I’m malingering because when he had a sinus infection one time it didn’t make him tired. I feel like death and oh yeah. 4mos pregnant, chasing a toddler, working full time, cleaning the gd house every 5min as others have pointed out. I’m so done.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        Did we get a stay at home order in MA? I feel like I missed this. My parents came over on Saturday to give us a break. I’m not sure how I feel about them coming if there’s a stay at home order. We’re all practicing social distancing pretty extensively – i.e. just grocery stores.

      • Anon says

        Take the Z-pack! I know others will disagree, but I’ve always known when I have a sinus infection or a UTI or when my kids have an ear infection. Doctors visits just to get antibiotics are a giant waste of time and money, even without COVID concerns. I really wish antibiotics were over the counter in the US like they are in many other countries.
        Also so annoying that your OB won’t prescribe for you! Mine treated any health issues I had while pregnant, because generally a PCP doesn’t want to have anything to do w/ a pregnant woman.

        • Pogo says

          Thanks for the support and commiseration – I also always know when I have one. I only hesitate b/c augmentin is broader spectrum against common sinus infection bacteria, I think (according to my medical education from dr g00gle), and that’s what the first line usually is as opposed to azithromycin.

          I’m not planning to go into the office – I was going to ask for the doctor to call it in based on my symptoms. I’d rather take my chances with the misery of a sinus infection than the misery of COVID – I now have first-degree contacts (in other states) who have it and the reports sound SUPER not fun.

          Anyway, I messaged my doctor a detailed history. We’ll see.

          • Anon says

            You also might see if your insurance company does telemedicine. I don’t ever use mine because my PCP is so responsive, but I got an email from my insurer last week touting their televisit options.

    • Anonymous says

      Our computer stopped working (broken fan) and the wifi is not working (???), and we have wintry mix today. Otherwise, everything is PERFECT!

      In all seriousness, my son’s teachers did a great job of setting up their remote learning–we’re in NYC, today is day 1 after a week off for them to prepare–and I am extremely grateful to them. (Although currently my son is playing a game on the tablet). My husband is a high school teacher. He volunteered to help staff one of the childcare/school sites the DOE is opening to care for children of healthcare and other essential workers. I’m nervous about that germs and logistics but also glad we can contribute in some way. 5 teachers at his school apparently already have tested positive. It is a HUGE school, so this is a small fraction, but I am still really mad he had to go in to school for what turned out to be online training last week.

    • CPA Lady says

      I’m doing a lot better now that the tax deadline has been extended to July. I can work on things at a more leisurely pace and not stress about interruptions. We’re still trying to get as many tax returns out now as we possibly can before lock downs further impede our ability to gather information. We have a lot of older clients who can’t email us files, so getting the information from all the last minute people (which is a lot of people) is going to be a big challenge. I assume this will all come to a screeching halt if we get into extended shelter in place, and, if necessary, we can begin getting extensions ready to go using prior year income numbers as estimates.

      I’ve been working from home with kiddo there for about a week now. We’re managing by letting her do 4-5 hours of disney plus and kindle games a day, which is not ideal, but neither is trying to work through the apocalypse. We break for meals, and try to go outside twice a day. She has “quiet time” in her room for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I also bought some news toys that have been getting some use. She is an extrovert who does not play independently unless forced to, but she actually played with her new water table for a long time by herself for two days in a row, so it’s my new favorite object. And it fits in our giant 1980s bathtub when it’s too cold to play with it outside.

      Overall its been pretty okay. My husband normally works from home so this is not much of a change for him. I am probably getting in about 5 solid hours of work in per day. Including getting some stuff done after kiddo goes to bed. It’s about as good as it’s going to get for me. My husband said something about taking some half days but he hasn’t done that. He makes twice as much as I do so if anyone is going to take the hit, it’s going to be me. Which I already knew years ago when I took a flexible lean out job.

    • Emily S. says

      I didn’t cry yesterday for the first time in 7 days! So that’s a positive! My friend and I are leaving each other Voxer messages each morning and afternoon about we’re grateful for and that is really, truly helping me cope.
      DH and have been working from home full time for a week and a day now (he always works based at home but has a lot of on-site meetings so this has been new for him, too.) I am not kidding when I say he was on the phone and Slack channels 12 hours a day from Wednesday night through this morning trying to move projects along. So our plan of taking shifts in 4 hour blocks went out the window, but we’re trying it today.
      Pre-K-er did a Zoom meeting with her teacher and a few other kids this morning, so we did that and then the assignment. That helped us all. I found some worksheets from greatschools.org that she’s doing now with DH. The 2.5 year old is much harder to entertain all day. We’re doing arts, reading, free play, outside time, and trying to save TV for the afternoon. Hang in there, y’all.

    • Anon says

      VA Schools just closed through the end of the school year. I mean, I’m not surprised, and had been telling my husband I thought they would be closed until May, but it’s one thing to think it and another to actually have it. Impacts on us are minimal, because we just have our kid in part time preschool, but man she LOVED it. Hopefully they will be able to do a camp this summer she can go to. In other news, I think my 2.5 YO finally figured out mama was at the end of her rope today (constant touching during 6 hours of back to back calls) when she meekly took her tablet upstairs for naptime with DH and didn’t even pretend to fight it.

  4. Anon says

    Does anyone else feel like chores are taking over their life? Between our cleaning service not coming, our whole family eating almost every meal at home and our toddler being home all day every day, it feels like we have 10x as much housework as before. We’re running the dishwasher at least twice a day and barely keeping up. We are doing toddler-watching shifts, but it feels like whoever isn’t on childcare duty is pretty much always doing housework. We have nowhere near enough time for our actual jobs, to say nothing of having any free time. I know people will probably say to lower my standards but trust me they are pretty low to begin with :). Any hacks or ways to throw money at the problem (other than a cleaning service)? My BFF suggested buying a Roomba but we don’t really vacuum (see, low standards) so I’m not sure what that would do.

    • anne-on says

      I just bought a stick dyson and some new cleaning products online (squegee, etc.). Having tools to do the job better/faster will (hopefully) help.
      Yup, we are cleaning the house a ton now (we’re all here!) and I feel like we’re perpetually cleaning up from, or preparing a meal. What’s helped a bit is literally writing out and posting a menu (with recipes annotated) for dinners so that whoever is free can start prepping.

    • Io says

      Our first week it felt like all I did was clean, but somehow I caught up this morning? Partly I’ve been batch cooking and freezing food so now we’re microwaving more. But my kid is four and has really stepped up. (She tried to clean the bathroom sink yesterday.)

    • Pogo says

      Yes. I cleaned the entire first floor and told DH to clean the whole second floor and basement. I feel like we cleaned the whole weekend and still not done. We’re running the dishwasher every day, picking up toys every night. It’s exhausting. We’re never home this much.

    • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

      How old are your kids? I’m putting mine to work and it helps a lot. Their jobs:
      – Make bed
      – Wipe down table after meals
      – Empty dishwasher
      – Bring down dirty laundry
      – Put away clean laundry
      – Sweep

      But they are 5 and 8 so pretty helpful. Younger kids might be tougher.

      Also doing a bunch of decluttering and donating while we are around the house.

      • Anon says

        Almost 2. She will help with stuff like picking up toys and sorting laundry, but definitely can’t do it independently. This week I’m going to make more effort to combine childcare with cleaning up, so hopefully my non-childcare time can be more focused on work.

      • AnotherAnon says

        +1 @Beth. My 3 y/o is now expected to: dry clean dishes, dress himself, potty (#1) by himself, put his dirty clothes in the hamper, and assist me in putting his clean clothes away (dump sorted, unfolded clean clothes in bins). I’m thankful for Montessori paving the way for this. I spent most of Saturday cleaning, but that was mostly because it was raining and I didn’t know what else to do. Since DH is doing 90% of child care atm, I’m trying to help him out by keeping up with the dishes and laundry, but it’s a constant struggle. Trying to lower my expectations.

    • Cleaning says

      I find it easier to maintain if we do one big cleaning day. Husband, child and I clean nonstop for 2 hours on Sunday afternoons. We did this before social distancing started and it has been nice to have it already be part of our routine. We do a good job of trading off dishes and we always clean up after every meal, it gets tough if you let it pile up. Kids should be doing what they can, even a 2 year old can usually handle some things (like carrying their plate to the sink or picking up toys off the floor.

      • anne-on says

        +1 – daily chores are making beds, wiping down counters, cleaning up the kitchen after meals, and putting away laptops for a family dinner. Saturday is our ‘big’ cleaning day for all of us. Kiddo is in charge of his room/toy room and we split up the rest of the house. I would say it’s about 2 hours all in?!?

    • Anon says

      I am keeping my usual schedule. A couple nights a week, after work, I vacuum the downstairs (dyson stick) after dinner while DH supervises toddler (aka crumb machine). I’ve added steam mopping a few times a week afterward because the kitchen floor is sticky from all the cooking and toddler adventures. Dishes get done either before we go up for bed or in the morning, typically while the meal is cooking (I.e., I load or unload while my breakfast is toasting, waiting for water to boil or an oven dish to cook, etc.). The kitchen is my domain, so I do all of the cooking and cleaning there (flip side is there is no complaining about my schedule, so if I’m tired, dishes get left in the sink until the next time). In order to take the load off the cooking, we have been eating ready made stuff for breakfast and lunch, and I only cook dinner, usually with enough to provide a few leftovers for lunch or a second night of dinner. Plus we have been doing delivery 1-2x a week. I am going to cancel our housekeepers this week, which means we *might* clean the bathrooms this weekend, but we will probably keep them for our appointment in 2 weeks and may just leave the bathrooms until then (or reevaluate then) – I wipe things down with a chlorox wipe every few days so they’re not filthy. I might vacuum the upstairs this weekend – definitely not dusting. I suspect you’re just home and so there is some “mission creep” – you are spending more time looking at it and therefore deciding to do things about it more – I am intentionally ignoring that (and also spending 9ish hours a day in my home office so I’m not seeing the rest of the mess).

    • KatieWolf says

      Robot vacuum, touch it once (put dish in dishwasher immediately rather than sink, etc), put away EVERYTHING as a baseline (I majorly decluttered when I was WFH but before daycare closed last week) to streamline the process, wipe counters (clean surfaces make me feel calm), and lower standards. They cannot be lower? They probably can – you are asking about cleaning! That means you are still thinking about it! I have lowered my standards so far that DD plays on a dirty (dog hair, pollen, whatever seeds we’ve tracked in from the yard) rug and thats just the way its going to be for the time being.

  5. Boston Legal Eagle says

    Can we discuss this article? Link to follow but it’s the Atlantic article called “the Coronavirus is a Disaster for Feminism.” – how are your households adjusting to this sudden forced childcare responsibility? In mine, my husband switched to part time hours (his suggestion) so that he could take on more of the childcare during our workdays, but I can see a lot of households where a lot of this already unpaid work will fall more to women. When faced with this kind of situation where you can’t outsource a lot of this hard work, I can see it either forcing dads to take on more housework and childcare, or just force women further out of the paid workforce.

    • true and it stinks says

      I think there are going to be a lot of women forced out of the workforce. My husband and I both work fulltime, but I’m taking on ninety percent of the childcare load while we’re both at home with the kids. My job has been more flexible than his (or at least that’s the party line – haven’t been able to push back). This is one area too where I think relative earnings, which we usually ignore, have to come into play. He makes the bulk of our income – if I were to lose my job, our lifestyle would not be dramatically affected. The line in the article “Who is paid less? Who has the most flexibility?’ really hit me like a punch in the gut.

      The other wrinkle is that I’m better at handling it. He’s not able to multitask as well as I am, so I can take a conference call while watching a baby and he just can’t. Maybe that’s really why women are having to take on this burden. It’s super depressing.

      During a normal period I’d say my husband is a co-equal parent who does more housework than I do (he’s still doing more housework FWIW, but childcare is definitely falling more to me!). We have three kids four and under.

    • Cb says

      I think we’ll split things 50/50 – neither will be working full-time but we’re in the UK where our jobs have to accommodate caring responsibilities. However, I think where we are struggling is that my husband is less proactive than I am. He went to the office this am, came home complaining about what he had to do, and then sat on his phone and played a game (I am working, son is napping). His ability to check out of things is much higher than mine – and either he needs to get better or I need to stop taking so much responsibility for things.
      That is, if I don’t murder him for whistling at all times. Does he make this much noise at work?

    • Tearing Out My Hair says

      My husband’s income is higher than mine (way higher), so we are prioritizing his work hours. We’ve made decisions before this as a family to let me work part time to put in more hours towards childcare, house management, etc., but right now I am resenting that I am putting in 10+ hours of childcare and barely finding time to do my work while he breezes upstairs to the home office at 7:30am everyday. My career has already taken huge hits since our high needs child was born, and this is just going to be another hit to it. We’re doing what makes sense for our family right now, and even for the larger community (husband isn’t a healthcare worker but supports a lot of them, so even if income disparity wasn’t a factor, his work really is more important than mine right now), but I still have big feelings about it. I’ve been the one planning our grocery shopping, coordinating with the school for remote learning and setting up facetime calls with friends, planning meals (even though we are doing a good job of sharing the actual cooking/cleaning). I also do all of the “no fun” childcare activities. Even when my husband takes the child for an hour or two, she has already had her snack, done her asthma inhaler, brushed her teeth, and had her hair done. He just gets to plop her down in front of a worksheet and take a picture of it and get the accolades from friends and family for being a “good dad.” And he is a good dad! And I know this is hard on him too, he is working fewer hours remotely than in office and helping with the house stuff, but I still feel like I am losing my mind. I’m stressed and never getting a moment to myself and bearing the brunt of childcare and falling behind on work and it all just sucks. And I feel guilty that I feel that way because we are really lucky. We both still have income right now. For now, we are all healthy. We are together. We have food in our pantry, heat in our house, and a safe and loving home environment with adorable pets and a walkable neighborhood and large backyard. I know I have a right to my feelings, but I also feel that I have no right to feel bad when we have it so good right now and so many are suffering.

      • tea says

        Have you shared any of these points – what are some of his responses ?

    • AIMS says

      I think I actually have more work right now so I am getting priority. But I can see this being an issue more broadly.

    • anon says

      So my partner is a woman but I birthed the babies. I’m in biglaw, she’s tech-adjacent but not on the billable hour. She’s finishing up FMLA right now with our six-month-old, but once that’s over we are going to ??? I kid, but really . . . ??? I can’t be the one to step back as I make 4x what she does. She is of course willing to go part-time, but she’s also far less flexible on a personal level than I am (e.g., I can and will go to bed as soon as the baby does at night, wake up at 3 a.m., and put in 4 hours of billables before everyone is up. She just doesn’t function that way). So yes, in our situation the money is absolutely the deciding factor, but it’s going to suck regardless.

      • anon says

        Also wanted to add that when she brought up going part-time I said, “…or you could just work less without asking permission. A man would.” So that’s on the table. I’m not sure how plausible it will be in the crunch though.

    • FVNC says

      We are so lucky that my husband’s job is more or less on hold for the foreseeable future. He’s got some work to do remotely, but not much. He’s doing 90% of childcare while I work an increasingly busy full time schedule. So, so grateful to be in this situation, including because the kids see him as their primary caretaker now.

    • Clementine says

      My husband’s work requires him to travel and I am SO THANKFUL he basically stood firm and didn’t go out of town for his job a month earlier than scheduled. It’s what’s allowing me to function.

    • So Anon says

      Single parent here – I am doing the best I can. It all falls to me anyway, so…. Working and trying to get my kids to do 2 hours of school work per week day. I may not be the most efficient during this stretch, but I am getting the essential work done. There is no way I could or would want to work part-time. All of the domestic tasks have been mine anyway for the last year, but now instead of throwing in a load of laundry at lunch, I drag my nine year old upstairs and teach him how to turn out all of the clothes. I’m really trying to keep the best attitude I can with this, but there have definitely been moments of tears.

      • Anonanonanon says

        Hi!
        It’s ok to do less than 2 hours of schoolwork a day. It is what it is. Former single mom here giving you permission :)
        My 9 year old is reading a chapter of the young peoples’ adaptation of Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States every day and then doing some written responses on worksheets I found online. Outside of that he is doing snap circuits and looking at stuff from the yard under a microscope. Most of that he does independently. I try to find time in the evening to review and briefly discuss his answers, circle the words he didn’t spell correctly ,and he goes through a dictionary to find the correct spelling. Also yes, he is doing his own laundry.

    • Anonymous says

      My husband took leave and is now a stay at home husband doing full time childcare.

    • Anon says

      My husband and I are both working ~50% time (if that) and sharing childcare responsibilities equally. We have a 2 year old, so it’s very hard for us both to be working unless our child is asleep. Even with screen time she wants someone there interacting with her (and with things like iPad games she still needs help pressing buttons and things like that pretty much constantly). My husband is lucky in that he’s a college professor who no longer has any teaching duties (someone else is doing the online videos for his classes) but he is still supposed to be doing research, of course. My job is sort of self-driven and doesn’t involve anything urgent, so I just sort of unofficially went to part-time w/o asking permission. My boss knows I have a 2 year old at home. If and when my productivity becomes an issue, I’ll ask to take leave/reduced hours, but I don’t see the point in asking preemptively when everything is slower than normal anyway.
      Even with two of us sharing equally, it’s hard and I feel like I don’t do anything except work and childcare.

    • RR says

      We are continuing to do well splitting childcare evenly (our kids are a bit older, so it’s not as hands on) and splitting chores evenly, although the reality is that the house is a disaster. We are both trying to work.

    • Anon says

      My husband may lose his income if his clinic closes, which may happen in the next week or so. So if that happens, he will care for our child while I work, but for now I do childcare and work from home and do a majority of chores. I am much more concerned about our financial stability than equality right now. My job isn’t that stable either.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Sorry keep getting stuck in moderation. Just wanted to offer my thoughts on this article and to discuss.

  7. FVNC says

    For those those living where schools are closed (I assume that’s almost everyone by now), what communication have you gotten from your teachers or schools?
    Our schools shut down for the year last Tuesday (we’re in KS), during spring break week. We’ve had minimal communication from the school district, and none at all from our daughter’s elementary school. I’ve heard rumors on social media that the earliest we’ll receive lesson plans is April 6, a full three weeks after school closures. I’m disappointed that there’s been no acknowledgement from our school that they’re at least working on a plan for our kids. I don’t necessarily care about the academics, but our kids need something to DO during the day. If the libraries were open, I’d just let her read all day. We’re creating our own lesson plans but who knows if they’re effective/related to what was happening in school.
    Just curious what others are doing if you’ve had no guidance from your schools?

    • Anonymous says

      None. In Maryland, or at least Montgomery County, this first 2 weeks is considered an “emergency closure” similar to snow days where teachers are not expected to work. I imagine the ARE working trying to figure out online learning, but they’re not engaging with students at all yet. The principal of our elementary school has sent a couple emails, the superintendent has sent one basically saying they’ll get back with us, and there are some online resources from the school library that we can check out, but for now we’re cobbling together our own mix of academic-like stuff with websites and some workbooks we already had.

    • Anonymous says

      If you were in spring break, your teachers were not working until this morning. I’d give them a day to figure it out.

    • Lyssa says

      Very little. We got an email from the district late last week saying something along the lines of “We found we can’t get materials/instruction to everyone, so we’ve decided that we shouldn’t do it at all.” This does seem like a legitimate problem that bothered me when it first became a concern (there are some rural-ish areas and I’m sure a substantial number of families don’t have decent, or maybe any, internet). But, at the same time, I’m assuming that the parents who have the means and ability to offer enrichment will do so (as we are), so I’m not sure it’s really much more “fair” this way.
      Bad situation, all around.

    • Anonymous says

      in MA (we shut down on Friday 3/13 and are going until at least 4/7 probably longer) we were told to treat the first 4 days as “snow days”. IE nothing for the kids. During that time the staff met and did some prep. We got communication on day 4 that was links to various packets/work etc. Our state testing was cancelled for the year.

      There is some heated debate about what public schools can offer given that they need to meet the needs of ALL children. Internet/device access is one barrier, but so are kids that are on extensive IEPs and may have 1:1 or 2:1 help at school.

      For now my (young elem) kids are doing a mix of worksheets i found, worksheets we printed, an online app for reading, and Khan academy. they are also playing outside a LOT and are doing legos and arts and crafts like you would not believe. I’ve turned over an entire room to legos so I do not have to clean them. We will clean them in April.

      • Anonymous says

        Ugh. If we can’t offer one-on-one help to a small number of kids, we aren’t allowed to educate anyone? During an emergency, there needs to be some flexibility.

        • Anonymous says

          Nope no one is saying that. It’s just an added challenge for schools to meet.

    • Io says

      We’re in NYC. We’ve been getting letters home for weeks. When they changed the absence policy our school sent home the DOEs grade appropriate learn from home letters (available online if you’re interested). Our school is starting distance learning today. It’s for PreK so it’s basically chaos.

    • FVNC says

      Thanks, all. Good to know our district isn’t an outlier. I know this is a sh!t show for everyone (teachers, admins included). Our district is focusing on things like making school breakfasts and lunches available, which I think is the right priority. But given that our schools are closed through the rest of the year, not just temporarily (although, I assume most districts will actually be out for the rest of the year) — I expect some learning plans at some point.

    • AIMS says

      I’ve been super impressed with our school. NYC. They haven’t indicted the plan for the year but they’ve gone virtual and are trying to keep us updated and provided resources as best as they can.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. In less than a week, they threw together a legit online curriculum. I am extremely impressed, especially given the level of bureaucracy involved with the NYC DOE, which serves more students than the population of several states. My husband is a teacher and was still putting stuff together yesterday, but I know it is really important to him that they make this as successful as possible. He’s heard they now think there is maybe a 40% chance schools will reopen before summer break (June 27!). Oy. One day at a time.

  8. Anonymous says

    Sharing some Camp Covid tips that seem to be helping, in case they help others:
    Two preschool (3 and 5), and one first grader

    I’m stealing the preschool schedule because it’s familiar and it’s pretty clear my kids are craving anything that resembles normalcy right now. There’s free time before “school” to watch cartoons, get dressed, make beds, etc, and then
    1. Family circle time (read a book aloud, talk about the day of the week, date, weather) ~15-20 min
    2. Centers – older kid does school work for at least 2 center timeblocks, younger kids get to choose among blocks, trains, art, puzzles, computer etc. All toys we already have, the key is to get them to pick ONE so they don’t all end up on the floor at the end of the hour. Grownups have “work center” which seems to be helping the kids understand that we stay in our respective spots. I turned on Disney music in the play centers room, which seems to be keeping them engaged/contained better.
    3-# etc etc, blocks 45 min to an hour with outside time, lunch, quiet time, snack mixed in at times that work for us. Then the “school day” is over and it’s free time.

    I blocked circle time and one hour of center time on my work calendar hoping I can supervise art, science experiments, etc at least a few days a week. *fingers crossed*

    • FVNC says

      This is super-helpful, as we have a 3 yr old and a first grader! Thanks for sharing!

    • Anon says

      Jealous this is working for you! I have social, very extroverted 4 and 6 year olds and they need a lot more hands-on interaction. Are you trying school work at all? Or letting them play all day? We’re trying for a combination and even playing means they need intervention or interaction every hour or two. (And playing outside in the snow means I need to be outside too!) Give me all your tips for making this work because I’m drowning!

      • Anonymous says

        Oh I wouldn’t say it’s working perfectly, it’s just an improvement over the constant disruptions I had before putting a little more structure and familiar labels around the kids’ time! One of the adults still needs to engage at least once an hour to help with transitions and mediate disputes.

        We are aiming for 2 hours total school work (math, reading & writing) for the first grader. I’m doing nothing academic-adjacent for the preschoolers. I feel like our normal family life is good enough enrichment; we read, play letter & rhyming games, count, have a garden, and bake together, and have some dry erase letter-tracing workbooks that my 5 year old likes to practice with. Computer center = ABC mouse, so that’s kind of like school work. Unless/until I quit my real job (which gets more appealing every day), my goal is to keep the lights on, not teach anything new.

  9. Anon says

    Anyone have a recommendation for cartoons/shows to teach kids foreign languages? Trying to make the increase tv time a little more productive these days. I keep seeing adds for Muzzy but wanted to know if there is anything else out there. Thanks!

  10. Anon for this says

    I might get flamed for this but, are any of you still sending your kids to daycare? My DH is in state government and I am in disaster-related services, so we have been continuing to send our kids to daycare while we work from home. Daycare is small– 2 teachers, 8 families (12 kids total with maybe a couple extra older siblings now)– so, it’s a pretty closed environment, though I know I have no idea or control over who those families are interacting with. We live in a small town with no confirmed cases, though like everyone there are cases across the region. I recognize it includes some risk, but I am also balancing that risk against the emotional health of me and my kids– having a routine and normalcy, rather than being at home with us, panicked as we do our very COVID-related jobs. Anyone else out there still sending kids to daycare and what are your considerations?

    • Anonymous says

      A few thoughts:

      1- you’re delusional if you’re thinking of this as a small contained group. That is flat wrong.

      2- if you are doing essential disaster work that you cannot do without day care then you will have to keep doing it if you can

      3- your day care is going to get shut down

      4- no one can say they live in a community without transmission because we are not testing enough anywhere

    • anon says

      We sent our 5-year-old last week, but my city reported its first community spread case this weekend — so we are done with daycare until further notice. DD’s teacher has an immunocompromised husband, and since I’m not saving lives in my job, I felt like I couldn’t take the risk anymore.

    • Anon says

      I would absolutely be sending my kids to daycare if it was still open, but it’s not. Most daycares in our area are open, but our particular center closed. Since we can “work” from home and are still paying full tuition, we’re just keeping them home and not finding backup care. But if we had the option to send them to their regular place that we’ve already paid for, we would definitely take it.

    • Anonymous says

      Our daycare is open; our child is at home. We are doing it so that people who are essential during this time can have the daycare that they need more safely and possibly for longer. If you’re those people, then I agree with your decision. If you’re not those people, then I would make a different decision. But I’m not here to judge.

    • Patricia Gardiner says

      We both work in healthcare and sent our kid to daycare until it closed last week. Tough choices.

    • Leatty says

      My daughter’s daycare is open, but we are keeping her home. We’ve been told that the daycare will remain open unless they are ordered to close by the state, but I don’t feel comfortable sending her to daycare right now. I’m pregnant and asthmatic, and DH is also high risk, so we don’t want to take any chances. We also live in a state that doesn’t have its sh-t together, so I don’t trust the state to order closures when it is necessary. Her daycare also has a number of parents who are medical providers.

  11. Anonymous says

    I am trying to order groceries for pickup or delivery, but depending on the store either there are no windows available or they are so far out in the future that it’s not likely the items I select will be in stock. Nothing is in stock for shipping. I can’t concentrate on work and don’t want to be on calls or videoconferences. I have a four-week stash of food, but I don’t want to start tapping it yet because I know things will get worse. I’m afraid the power will go out and everything in my fridge and freezer will spoil. I am genuinely worried that I won’t be able to feed my family. I don’t know what to do.

    • Anon says

      Just go to the grocery store. It’s really not that risky, especially if you take extra precautions like wearing gloves.

    • Anpn says

      You may have go to the store in person. That’s okay, just stay 6 feet away from others, wipe down your cart first if you can. When you get home, wash your hands immediately and sanitize everything you’ve touched – keys, phone, wallet.

    • Anon says

      You may have to go to the store in person. That’s okay, just take precautions. Try to stay 6 feet away from others, and wipe down your cart handle if you can. When you get home, wash your hands immediately and sanitize whatever you’ve touched in the meantime – phone, keys, wallet, credit card, door knob.

      Unfortunately grocery delivery and pickup options are just not set up for the current demand.

      • Anon says

        Sorry for the double post, I clicked away prematurely and thought I deleted what I’d typed. Oops!

    • adkljfs says

      I’ve also realized that going to the store is the best way to actually get stuff in a quick way, and I’m happier that it doesn’t expose all the shipping/packing/delivery people. Bring a face mask if you have one (just for your own sanity), disinfectant wipes, and I like having gloves, but probably not necessary if you have wipes. Drive there in your car if possible, have a short, specific list and do it quickly. When you come home take home and wash your clothes, disinfect everything else. If possible don’t go to a busy, main grocery store – speciality or ethnic ones may be your best bet.

      • Anon says

        You don’t need a mask. You can protect r yourself by staying 6+ feet away from others, which health care workers cannot. Please please please save the masks for those on the front lines who actually need them.

        • Anon says

          (And yes, they are running low on regular surgical masks as well as N95.
          Unless you’re talking about something homemade, every mask you use to make yourself feel better at the grocery store is one less that could be protecting a medical worker who can’t simply stand back.)

        • adkljfs says

          I agree that they really don’t need a mask, and would prefer that this person didn’t use one, but they also seem very nervous and do need to go get groceries.

    • So Anon says

      It is ok to go to the grocery store. Go by yourself if you can, stay 6 ft away from others, wash your hands when you get back and leave your shoes at the door. This is a really scary situation, but I have not heard any concerns about power going out? Gently, I think it may be time to engage in some anxiety management.

      • OP says

        My concern about the power is not because of the virus, but because the power supply where we live is generally unreliable. We lose power at least twice a year, not counting hurricanes.

        • IHeartBacon says

          If the power going out at least twice a year in your area, I expect that you have a generator? If so, it should be able to keep your refrigerator going until the power resumes. If you don’t have a generator, you may want to consider ordering one online now.

    • Anonymous says

      I just set up standing delivery from a nearby dairy. You might look into a CSA if there is one in your area. For anyone in the greater DC area, South Mountain Creamery (which is also an interesting place to visit) works with a bunch of other local farms and does once/week delivery of just about all fresh food: milk & eggs, produce, meat/poultry and even bread & heat-and-eat meals. You can’t pick the delivery date, but you just leave a cooler outside and they’ll drop off your food at a standard time each week.

      • Anonymous says

        Thank you!!!! We’re having the hardest time getting eggs in MoCo.

        • Anonymous says

          That’s where I am, too. I bought the insane 8$ for 6 fancy eggs at the store last week because it was the only thing left. I’d been meaning to check out SMC for a while since we go there at least once a summer to see the cows and get ice cream, and I knew they did milkman-type delivery. It was a pleasant surprise to see that they also deliver so much other stuff, including eggs!

    • Anon says

      If you are 60+ or immunocompromised, the grocery store may have special hours when you can shop without the crowds. That’s what my elderly parents are doing, because delivery/pickup is not available at all in their town.

    • Anonymous says

      I don’t know if this helps the anxiety or not, but a 4-week stash of food is quite an accomplishment and way more than most of us have, so it will be okay if you need to tap into it for a few days.

  12. Anonymous says

    Is anyone already feeling a bit of a economic pinch? Despite not getting daycare, we are still on the hook for tuition (small coop, so I understand if we don’t pay, the teachers don’t get paid). I’m trying to continue to support the services I pay for despite not getting the services (gym, restaurant takeout, etc), while also paying A LOT more for groceries because we are eating at home more, feeding the kids all day instead of daycare doing it, etc. Also paying more for electric, water, and probably going to need to buy more toys to get through this. The only savings I could come up with is not putting gas in my car as much. We live in DC, and relied on the free entertainment, museums, zoo, etc around town for fun, and don’t have access to that anymore. We are lucky in that my husband and I have plenty of paid leave, have worked out a work schedule that works for us, but man my bank account will be light by the time this ends. Sorry I guess there is no question to this, more of an observation- not sure if anyone else has looked hard at their budget to get through this.

    • Anon says

      i understand having to still pay full price for daycare in the short term, but as this goes on and is likely to continue for over a month, with other periods of social distancing in the next 18 months, i feel like daycares/preschools should be able to offer some kind of discount and still make payroll. shouldn’t they have lower utilities and need fewer supplies (everything from art supplies to toilet paper to soap, etc.) i want to be sensitive to the situation, but any idea how to respectfully broach this without seeming like a horrible person?

      • anon says

        I think you would be shocked by the razor-thin margins at most daycares. In fairness, can you ask for a discount as you describe because they aren’t spending quite as much? Sure, I guess. In reality is this going to be more than 10%? Doubt it. And probably a lot less. Still worth it for many, but I get the impression a lot of people are picturing something more like a 50% discount which just doesn’t make sense if you want staff paid.

        • Anon says

          Not the person you’re replying to, but my grocery bill has gone up by much more than 10% of daycare tuition, so I think they have a very real savings if they’re not feeding your kids. I know they get bulk discounts so it’s not like they spend exactly what I spend per child, but still. It’s a lot.

    • Anon says

      It’s ok to take care of yourself first. I’m not paying for our cleaners, hairstylist or gym, even though the prevailing wisdom here is that you should continue paying for services you’re not using. As you noted, we’re spending a LOT more money on groceries, are still paying full daycare tuition and are not saving on entertainment because those expenses were all pre-paid for the year (museum memberships, etc.). We will probably save some money on travel, although it’s unclear how much because our 2020 travel was also mostly pre-paid and may not be entirely refundable. And my employer wasn’t in great shape economically before this and I fully expect major layoffs within the next 6-12 months, so we really need to be saving every dollar we can.

    • Anonymous says

      Stop. You can’t single handedly prop up the economy. Quit the gym. Stop paying for day care.

    • Pogo says

      I paid my aesthetician because I cancelled on her prior to the government cancelling on all of us. Still paying my massage therapist b/c it is a subscription auto-billed every month unless I cancel. Paying daycare 50% tuition. Need to remember to do online giving for church.

      Otherwise, I’m not paying anything I’m not using. I am paying for online classes/videos/etc I buy to entertain my son.

    • RR says

      We are paying our nanny for the hours she’d normally be working now (10 hours a week) while she can’t come during the stay home order. We will continue to do that as long as this lasts. Beyond that, I’m not paying anyone. We don’t really have a lot of monthly recurring charges like gym, etc., but I would be cancelling those things anyway.

    • Anon says

      Tons of people are losing their jobs. Paying more for groceries is not the biggest concern right now.

  13. So Anon says

    School Attendance – My kids’ schools are taking attendance for remote learning (1st and 3rd grades). They send out an email in the morning and the form shuts down at some point in the evening. We are supposed to go on and log attendance for the day during that period. I just got a call from my kids’ school asking whether my kids did school work last Wednesday (first day of remote learning) when I was in the middle of helping my company navigate its own issues. Is anyone else’s school doing this??

    • Marilla says

      Ours is not, and has specifically said the online learning is not mandatory and that parents should judge how much Zoom/online learning time is appropriate for their kids. Private school in Canada. They have also acknowledged that it’s not so simple for parents to be tech support/managing the online learning while also working from home and watching all their kids.

    • AnotherAnon says

      This seems pretty frustrating, but I wonder if they have to do that to get their funding? I only have a 3 y/o so I am not sure what my school district is doing.

    • Anon says

      Yes, our NYC public school is sending out a daily google form to check in for attendance. But they are not retroactively checking in about last week.

      And yes, it’s 100% about funding. If you hate your kids’ school don’t bother. If you’re willing to accept that the only part of the economy that will work next year will be the dollar turnovers provided by government employees you should fill it out.

    • Anonymous says

      Just reply yes.

      They are checking a box because they have to. It’s not a personal dig at you.

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