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Sales of Note…
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Kid/Family Sales
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- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
- Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
- Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
- Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
- Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Carrie M says
I know Kat has posted about her system for shopping for and cataloging her kids’ clothes. I’m not anywhere near that organized. I need something more basic — like tips or tricks for making sure what I buy works with what I already have? A few months back, I found that I had bought my daughter a ton of cute printed leggings and several cute striped or printed tops — but none of them could go together because then the outfit was too crazy/busy! Since then, I’ve tried to stick to solid pants and graphics/prints/florals/stripes up top. That’s been working better. Anyone have better ideas? Only buy certain colors? Stick to one store? I suppose I could just buy the Carter’s sets, but they don’t tend to get as heavily discounted as their separates.
NewMomAnon says
I tend to buy pants/leggings in either solid colors or more “neutral” patterns – white with one color of polka dots, or black and white stripes (or stripes of two similar colors). I find that I don’t use the multicolor leggings, so I don’t buy those anymore.
And then I buy whatever makes me happy in tops/dresses. But my kiddo is still little and doesn’t have any preferences for clothes yet. Also – how old is your kid? Because honestly, little kids can get away with crazy outfits. If your daughter is older and has preferences for non-crazy outfits, then maybe she could help pick them out at the store.
JJ says
I have boys, so the options are much more limited than with girls. But our system is pretty boring and predictable: we buy shorts and pants in solid colors (navy, grey, khaki, black) and try to buy most tops in shades of blues, greys, and greens. (I’ll confess that I just started buying a ton of blue shirts and sweaters because my oldest has the most amazing blue eyes, but it stuck and now that’s just routine.) Tennis shoes are grey, because that will match anything.
Whenever I would buy really cute madras or printed shorts for my guys, I realized that 1) I never remembered that I had them and 2) it was too much mental effort to make an outfit with them. For special occasions, I’ll buy or use printed shirts/pants/shorts, but for the every day at daycare and in clothes that I know will end up with food and other mystery items on them, I keep it to our solids.
MomAnon4This says
How old is your daughter? If she’s old enough to pick out clothes and dress herself, then I wouldn’t worry about matching. Kids seriously don’t care if things do or don’t go together. I love when moms (dads less) post pics of their kid’s crazy outfits on Facebook. At preschool there was a Tacky Mix-Up Day, and I dressed my son in, like, plaid shorts and a stripe shirt and I asked him about other kids’ outfits and he didn’t even notice. I felt badly for the teachers! Bet there were a lot of migraines that day.
Now my son is 6 and his public school has a uniform of colors – khaki or navy bottoms, white or blue tops. Yes, now everything goes together, so you could do something like that, if you want to (that’s kind of how my own closet is – mostly black, white, with my flattering colors for my cool winter palette that all color coordinate, usually, with some complementary colors for accessories). You could just stick to solid colors, or even just primary colors, or Garanimals from Walmart. Heck, your girl could even dress every day in either pink or purple like a lot of little girls I’ve seen.
Sarabeth says
This is more or less what you are doing already, but I only buy prints for sweaters (in winter) or tees (in summer). Pants/leggings/winter undershirts are all solids, and tend to be in ‘basic’ colors (black, grey, navy, a few lighter blues). I don’t buy any tops that wouldn’t go with most of those pants colors.
Beyond that, I just try not to care.
Meg Murry says
I had to finally sit down and tell my MIL to stop buying patterned bottoms, especially at garage sales, because my kids would have drawers full of clothes, but they would be purple striped shirts and orange plaid bottoms. Then my oldest would dress himself, and when I commented on it, he would say “see, it matches! Stripes with stripes!” I learned quickly to give up on matching for daycare also, since there was a good chance he would get something on half of his outfit and the shirt would be changed but not the pants, or vice versa – daycare cares that the kids are wearing clothes, but not beyond that.
So I finally purged all our crazy clothes that didn’t match anything and stocked up on basics like plain red tshirts and blue jeans, and now kid #2 throws a fit because he wants to wear shirts with “sum’ping on it!” and hates plain, solid colored clothes. And his 2 piece PJs absolutely must match each other – so when he wets the bed in the middle of the night, I can’t just change the bottoms, we have to change the whole pj set so it all matches or there is 20 minutes of tears and drama.
Ugh, and I thought boys clothes were supposed to be easy!
anne-on says
Its a bit easier for boys, but I generally only buy solid color pants (khaki, grey, blue, brown) and then can go a bit more out there with designs on the tops. We do buy fun shorts for summer (madras, stripes, etc.) but that’s b/c the gap polo shirts are super easy for him to put on and tend to go on sale, so I load up on those in basic solid colors. My family thankfully has fully embraced the little boy preppy look, so they do the same thing. For boys the two options tend to be preppy or branded (sports, superheroes, etc.) so I’m embracing the prep thing before he really cares enough to tell me otherwise.
Mommy Monster says
After having the same problem in Year 1 (all the cute baby clothes!), I committed to only buying solid bottoms for winter for my daughter, and also nothing pink (except as part of a print or pajamas). So mainly I bought blacks, grays, denims, and a couple of outlying colors in pants. Then I bought whatever cute top or sweatshirt I liked, and everything coordinated great.
I also don’t buy (or encourage her grandmother to buy) any fancy dresses. Since I know Grandma’s going to buy her dressier stuff, I usually only pick up clothes for preschool and everyday. We stuck with a couple sweater dresses for winter and a few “casual” summer dresses for now, and Grandma and I have gone through our growing pains with DD’s wardrobe so we’re now on the same page. I don’t want to be that mom that dresses her daughter like a doll and then tells her not to get dirty when she plays, and we don’t have anywhere so fancy to go that a sweater dress with cute printed tights won’t be ok. If we really have somewhere glamorous to go (SNORT), I’ll be happy to buy a fancy dress that fits her at that time.
One thing I don’t really bother with is buying clothes ahead of the season. (Exception: I bought her a new winter coat for next year on deep discount.) All the stores I shop at have so many sales that by the time it’s warm enough for her to be wearing shorts, I’ll be able to pick them up in her current size on sale. I do tend to size up a little, so she’s currently wearing 4T tops and 3T bottoms (for winter). For summer, I’ll probably buy 4T bottoms and decide on tops if her current tops start looking short. She still has a bunch of t-shirts from last summer that don’t look too small, so that will tide her over until the weather demands more summery clothes.
CPA Lady says
I think my daughter has enough gift and hand me down clothes to last her the entire first year. It’s good to learn from yall’s experience before I have to go out and start buying things– I’ll definitely be doing a solid bottoms, patterned top thing. Or dresses.
Its funny about the “fancy dresses”… I got a ton of those as gifts and hand me downs and I just let her wear them to daycare. I don’t even care what happens once she’s there. Better that than they sit in a closet, ya know? I mean, I’m not talking super fancy/frilly/netting (those go straight to goodwill), but nice cotton dresses. I think the fact that I didn’t pay for them makes me have a relaxed attitude about it.
I’ve started wearing dresses myself a lot more lately. We’ll see if that attitude carries over to her wardrobe. I wore a ton of dresses when I was little, I think (?) by choice.
Pigpen's Mama says
My LO is less than a year old, so I’ve been sticking to sets (Carters, usually) or separates, but making sure that a they can at least somewhat mix and match. Carters does have multipack bodysuit and leggings that are in the same color family, so sometimes I’ll get all daring and mix prints — usually a small print with either stripes or polka dots.
As for dresses, this is, some Sundays, my main motivation for going to church (I’m not religious, but my husband likes going) — baby girl gets to wear her cute dresses and all the church ladies coo over her! :-)
EB0220 says
I completely agree. I buy black, gray, khaki or denim bottoms. Then one or more will coordinate with any top.
Anon for this says
For those that have purposefully tried for #2, how did you decide it was time? LO is nearing 2 and I am just starting to feel like myself again (back in my clothes, she’s pretty independent in many ways, back in the groove at work), but I also feel like for our family, we have a finite amount of time to do this if we’re going to. Thoughts to get me off the fence (one way or another)?
ETA – husband is totally in favor of #2, so no issue there. I’m the one who’s hemming and hawwing. (But, it’s easy for him, it’s not his body…)
Lyssa says
It was pretty much as you describe – we got to where we could (#1 was old enough, I had been at my job long enough to be comfortable) and we were getting older and approaching the point where it was now (well, soon) or never. (Before everyone gets annoyed at yet another “your eggs are dying” caution, this was probably my husband’s issue more than mine – he did not like the idea of having a baby at 40+ or being approaching 60 by the time said baby is grown, which I totally get.)
I think that, if we were younger, we would wait a little longer, to get financials in better order and just take a longer break. But there are advantages here, too – hopefully, the kids will be friends and peers, we still have a decent setup and mindset for babies, that sort of thing. Other than getting student loans paid off and building more savings, there’s really not going to be a better time, I guess you could say.
rakma says
I’ve been asking myself the same question, and I’m just not sure–so I’m hoping you get some more responses! DD is only 16 months, so part of me feels like it’s too early, but another part feels like once I’m further away from the infant stage, I’m going to be more reluctant to go back to it.
Part of my issue is DH and I were on the same page with being one and done before I was pregnant, but have both changed our minds since then. I can’t get some of the arguments for having an only out of my head, and worry that I will regret having the second. Or not having the second.
Lyssa says
Our guy was exactly 1.5 when we started trying, and he’ll be exactly (to the day, if she is born on her due date, though she won’t be) 2.5 when baby comes, if that matters. I will say that the more that I think about it, the harder the idea of doing *infancy* again sounds – my little guy can walk and carry his stuff and tell us what he wants when he wants it – going back to someone who can’t do any of that sounds harder now in some ways than it did the first time. I really wonder how hard it is to go back after you have a kid old enough to be actually rational.
rakma says
I’m hoping the fact that I’ve done it before, and know that each stage does actually end, will help in those crazy early days. But I feel like deciding to have the second is harder because I know exactly what’s coming–and have to do it all with a toddler.
Thanks for sharing your timing, it helps to hear from others. One of my colleagues had 2 babies 1.5 years, (and was promoted quickly after coming back from her 2nd maternity leave–but she’s a rockstar) and seeing people cope with that age spread makes it easier to consider doing it myself.
Saguaro says
I was ready at about 6 months after my first was born, but waited until she was a year to get pregnant as I was working around a stressful time at work. I wanted them close in age, and they are almost exactly 2 years apart. My age, and my DH played a part in the decision, because I was 38 when I had my first and DH was 40.
I love them being so close in age because they have always basically been in similar stages and similar interests. I felt that made it easier, rather than getting past all the stages and then starting them over again. Plus, they are very close and I hope that continues into the teenage years.
Anonymous says
We always knew we’d want more than one, so we TTC as soon as we felt ready to have another baby. (Two year mark, for us).
bottle refuser says
LO is refusing the bottle. He is 8 weeks old. We’ve been trying most days since he was 4 weeks old. I’m returning to work in three weeks. We’ve tried several different bottles/nipples in various shapes and flows. I’ve left the house. Various people have tried. The daycare didn’t have any additional tips.
I understand this isn’t unusual. If your LO was like this, how did the transition back to work go? How long until they took a bottle, how was home life (ie, sleep) affected, etc? Did they ever get comfortable enough to where you felt okay going out for fun?
Maddie Ross says
Ok, as an initial matter, relax about the idea of home life being impacted or going out for fun. It will come, I promise. 8 weeks is still really young and the bottle issue, if you’re breastfeeding (esp. if that’s going well) takes time. We didn’t even start until about 8 weeks, as I went back to work at 16. It was a struggle! The best I can offer is to find the bottle that he seems to refuse the least and keep trying. We had good luck with Tommee Tippee ones and I liked that they were wide and more b**b like. My baby ended up actually taking a bottle from me first, surprisingly enough. We cuddled on her bobby, just like before a feed, when she was hungry any way, and I shoved it in. If baby has any experience at all, even limited, it’s likely they will end up being fine once their at school. They do want to eat!
Meg Murry says
I know someone who’s baby refused a bottle for a really long time, and the MIL (who was doing childcare) wound up finger-feeding, then feeding with an eyedropper, then a small medicine cup – baby never actually took a bottle. It was stressful, but at least the mom was able to go to work. Some babies want everything to be exactly like b-feeding – laying on a boppy, held in a b-feeding hold, sometimes even with bottle giver wearing mom’s bathrobe, etc. Others want it to be a completely distinct and separate thing – sitting in a bouncy seat or carseat, etc, barely warm, etc. So basically, you just have to keep trying things. Do you have a strong letdown or oversupply? I know there are lots of people who worry about nipple confusion and getting bottles that simulate b-feeding, but for one of my friends with oversupply the baby was actually frustrated at how slow the milk came out of the bottle, and she found the old-school nipples and bottles where the milk basically just poured out better for her kid.
I think eyedropper feeding would probably be a good worst case scenario for you. Baby won’t starve, but it sure will be a pain, I’m so sorry.
http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/alternative-feeding/
K. says
My child had a horrible latch for the first 8 weeks and it was recommended not to do a bottle to prevent nipple confusion. OK, so we got to the point that she could nurse well and then I had no time to work on a bottle before I went back to work. She refused the bottle for almost four weeks. It was super stressful on me, obviously. My MIL was childcare and I’ve got to hand it to her for how patient she was, trying several new bottles, eye droppers, cups, fingers, different positions, etc. We eventually found that she could do it when laying on the floor by herself, but I think most of that was just learning curve on her part.
She ended up reverse cycling big time and was never really grumpy during the day about it. She just knew I wasn’t there and was patient. She always had the bare minimum of wet/dirty diapers and continued to gain weight. It was still stressful and nice when she finally got the hang of it. Cosleeping has been essential to make this work though.
What I’m saying is that it might feel like your child will NEVER get it, but they probably will. It will be ok.
She takes a bottle like a champ now, but still prefers the breast. She is 8 months old and only drinks about 4 oz a day while I’m gone and makes it up at night. Obviously, we’ve added solids too and she LOVES food! But, we’re making it work and everyone is okay with this arrangement.
CPA Lady says
My SIL’s daughter refused the bottle for weeks leading up to her going back to work. It took about three days at daycare before she had a breakthrough and started using the bottle. I think the tommee tippee ones were the ones that worked for her too. Those first few days were really rough though, and my SIL had to leave work to nurse, but it all ended up working out.
And I second Maddie Ross– you will totally be fine going out to have fun as soon as that child is on a bottle consistently. In the meantime, try not to be hard on yourself– the beginning is really rough in a way that you can’t fully grasp until you’re out of it and you look back and wonder how you made it.
kc esq says
I know the mom of a baby who wouldn’t take the bottle if he knew it was happening. The mom is a teacher, nursed big time at drop-off and at the end of the day (3:30ish, not 7:30ish), and the sitter snuck a bottle while he slept since he wouldn’t take it awake. He ate a lot when he was with the mom to make up for lost time.
bottle refuser says
Thank you, all. This is *very* helpful. Specifically, we haven’t considered bottle alternatives (besides sippy, which seemed poor fit for him at this point) and will try those. We’ll also try feeding in bouncer, which is one of his happy places.
Based on the experience of a friend, I’m very worried about him making up for feedings during the night, but hopefully he’ll be a quick adapter. Nursing during the workday isn’t geographically possible, unfortunately.
Gah, fingers crossed!
RDC says
We didn’t deal with this, but a couple more ideas from a bf-ing support group I go to — start with an empty bottle and just get baby used to having the n*pple in their mouth, since it feels different from what they’re used to. Also, try starting with Dream feeds and see if the baby will take a bottle while sleepy/half asleep. Then slowly transition the feed earlier in the evening to when they’re more awake.
Navy Lawyer says
Baby might refuse the bottle because he knows you’re right there as the alternative. Babies can smell Mom even if Mom is hiding in the next room. Believe me we tried that; eventually DH sent me on a long walk and then fed baby a bottle. Also maybe your baby just isn’t ready quite yet. Child raising is one day at a time; baby could very well wake up one day and take to it. Don’t try too often, as that will just create resistance. Don’t worry, it will work out!!!
Nanny question says
If you have a nanny, and then you had another child, what did you do with your nanny while you were on maternity leave? I don’t need her, and my leave will be unpaid, so it would feel really expensive to pay her during my leave, but I also want her to come back when I go back to work. I’m thinking I’m going to have to have her come anyway while I’m on leave or give her paid leave. She works for me 2 days per week, if that makes a difference.
buffybot says
This isn’t me, but a friend just went through this — second child, had nanny for first child. She kept the nanny while on maternity leave and said that it was the most wonderful thing ever for her quality of life. However, the first child was still quite young and not in school, so it was good to have another caretaker — no juggling baby and toddler. And then sometime she could go out during the day and run errands, have a quiet lunch by herself, etc.
If you can find any way to manage it, I think I would find a way to keep your nanny.
Meg Murry says
Or maybe halftime? Would nanny be interested in working only 1 day instead of 2 and getting some days off?
Unless she’s independently wealthy or nannying for fun, I’m pretty sure you have to pay her if you don’t want her to go find another family, especially if your leave is for more than 6 weeks. I think you just need to talk to her – she might be willing to take less pay to hold the spot for you and give her some time off, or she might need every penny you pay her and have to find another job if you can’t keep paying her current rate.
We kept my oldest in daycare the whole time I was on maternity leave and while it was a bit of a stretch financially, I’m so glad we did because it kept everything as close to “normal” as possible for him, as opposed to him being at home and bored and wanting my attention while I was busy caring for the baby.
Anon says
You could also ask your nanny if she’s been interested in taking a trip or visiting relatives (assuming you’re the only family she works for) — you might both be looking for a longer break from each other. But I think you should be prepared to either pay her or lose her.
NewMomAnon says
Spring is here and I am thinking about biking with a toddler! Does anyone have wisdom to share on bike seats versus the carts? This would be for recreational use on paved paths (or maybe packed gravel) only; I don’t commute and I’m not a mountain biker. I’m decently confident. My kiddo is 14 months, and would wear a helmet (obviously) and is pretty big for her age.
Meg Murry says
We have both a pull behind trailer and a bike seat. There are pros and cons to both.
My husband likes using the bike seat, because then we don’t have to switch the trailer back and forth on and off bikes. We have this one: http://www.amazon.com/WeeRide-Kangaroo-Child-Bike-Seat/dp/B002MCYWHG and we really like that the kid is up front instead of behind – he says its way easier to balance that way. He has to ride with his knees slightly splayed though – I don’t think my legs are quite long enough to be able to do it. We have friends that have the “iBert” green up front seat that love it, which might be easier if your legs are shorter. Also, you need to have a bike where you sit more upright (commuter or hybrid bike, not a mountain/racing bike where you hunch forward) in order to use one.
For the trailer, we have a 2 kid trailer, although we rarely have 2 kids in it unless we are hauling a neighbor kid around (my kids are spaced out enough that oldest was riding his own bike by the time #2 was ready for the trailer). Don’t cheap out on the trailer – get one with real wheels, not plastic, and an aluminum frame so its lightweight. We got our first one at an end of season clearance online (it was the discontinued model) and then our second off Craiglist because our first had gotten gross being stored outdoors (we didn’t have a garage).
The 2 kid trailer has tons of room for groceries, library books, a picnic lunch etc – whereas the 1 kid trailer only has room for a kid, not much else. Its a mid-to-high end InStep brand, so I think in the $300 range brand new (we didn’t pay that much – probably $100-$150).
I’ve yet to see a trailer that was easy to pack up and put in a car and then re-assemble (no matter what the claims are), so I’d go the seat route if you have to drive to where you are going to bike.
Have fun, my kids LOVE biking with us!
Anonymous says
Agree with above and will add:
Kids can see more from a bike seat, so it works better for pleasure rides. They are exposed to the elements, though, so a trailer makes more sense for commuting. Trailers are better for snacks and naps, but seats are better for conversation.
Seats are a challenge if the adult needs to get on and off the bike – such as to help an older sibling on their own bike – since it’s not safe to leave kid in seat with bike on kick stand or leaning against something.
They ride differently from adult ‘s perspective, too.
One’s not better than the other, but they aren’t interchangeable. I recommend trying both and deciding which makes most sense for you.
NewMomAnon says
Thank you! These are exactly what I needed – I think I’ll have to get a bike seat, since I want to take trails that require driving and my car can’t handle both a carseat and a fully assembled bike trailer. We don’t have great bike trails in my neighborhood, so not much opportunity to take the trailer directly out of my garage unless I want to ride on urban streets (which I don’t). Fortunately, I don’t have another kid and probably won’t have any reason to leave kiddo alone in the seat…I’m mostly concerned with the balance issues, but I think dragging a trailer would be a challenge too.
Meg Murry says
FYI, if you are driving to a bike path that is a tourist destination, you may be able to rent a trailer there – our big deal bike path has bike rental places that do, but not the small trail near our house.
You could also drive there once the weather warms up and watch to see if anyone unloads a trailer that is folded in their car, in case there is something new on the market – I’ve had other parents ask us about our trailer/bike/seat etc and been glad to talk to them.
PregAnon says
We both love to ride, and went through this with my best friend when her son was a baby. She worked at a bike shop for years, so had good insights. We’ve always preferred a trailer, just because occasionally a wipe out happens (to me) and I felt like that was safer, and so did she. REI has some good trailers on their website.
The seats are super convenient and easy, but I just don’t trust myself that much.