Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Pull-Down Button-Front Nursing Top
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Before I had a child, even if you showed me the most obvious looking nursing top, I would have had no idea of its “hidden” function. I had no idea nursing tops even existed, except for the tanks that had the clips on the straps. Now that I know about this category of clothing, I’m always impressed when the designers make nursing tops that look like regular tops. This one doesn’t make its dual function obvious, looks professional, and I would totally wear it even after I stopped nursing. The folds that conceal the openings are hidden well with the draping of the top and the all-over pattern. The top is $90 at A Pea in the Pod, is machine washable, and comes in sizes XS–L. Ripe Pull-Down Button-Front Nursing Top
Finding a plus-size option for this was tough, but, like the pictured top, this Momzelle nursing top has a blousier fit than many nursing shirts, and it’s less obviously a nursing top than many others, too. It goes up to sizes XL and XXL.
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Sales of note for 12/30:
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started — up to 60% off! See our roundup here.
- AllSaints – now up to 60% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your purchase; extra 40% off + additional 30% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – The Winter Sale: 50% off everything + extra 60% off clearance
- Boden – Sale, up to 60% — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
- DeMellier – Sale now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
- Eloquii – Semi-annual clearance, up to 85% off; extra 60% off clearance
- Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off — reader favorites include their scoop tee, Dream Pant, ReNew Transit backpack, silk blouses and oversized blazers!
- Hannah Andersson – The Twice-a-Year Big Hanna Sale: Up to 60% off (even new arrivals on sale!)
- J.Crew – 25% off full-price styles; up to 50% off cashmere; 70% off 3+ sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off winter faves; extra 25% off $100+
- L.K. Bennett – All sale half price or less
- M.M.LaFleur – Flash sale, extra 30% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale, extra 40% off markdowns, and daily Red Door Deals starting at $19.50
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Random discussion point/unpopular opinion ahead:
I don’t think ACA/universal insurance coverage of breast pumps is that helpful from a public health standpoint. I don’t think the cost of the pump is what is making or breaking breastfeeding. I think that most women want to breast feed and who use breast pumps would buy them. If insurance didn’t cover pumps I think technology/pump design would improve based on market demand and the price of a basic pump would drop. It is a simple machine. I think the money spent on pumps would benefit children more if used in another way. Overall I think supporting breastfeeding with a pump is pointless without the additional benefit of extended family leave, etc.
I’m headed to Miami for work at the end of February for a conference Wed-Fri. Thinking of rolling that into a mini family vacay with DH and our will-be 1-year old. Can anyone recommend someplace fun to go that is SOUTH of Miami? IL’s live 5 hours away to the north so we’d like to stay on the opposite side/south of Miami so they don’t feel compelled to hop in the car and crash (which they one-million percent would do).
What are my toddler-friendly resort options with a lovely beach and pool that won’t utterly crush the bank (ie: Marriott, not Four Seasons) not too far from Miami, if such a thing exists? I don’t know this part of Florida well at all.
I have a close relationship with my mom and she lives less than an hour away. I’m expecting my first baby at the very end of November. My mom is also trying to plan a trip to see my sister who lives across country sometime between November and January, but she doesn’t want to “miss” anything or not be around when I need her around when the baby is born. She suggested taking the trip about 2 weeks after my due date. Since this is my first and I’m likely to go a bit late, I think this is probably around the time she will want to be around me/the new baby the most, so I suggested earlier in November might be a better option. She thought I would want her to help me finalize getting ready for the baby around that time, but I think my husband and I can handle that better than the newborn.
All this to say– when would you have wanted a helpful mother to be around when you had your first child? I’ve never done this before so maybe 2 weeks after delivery is a fine time for her to take her trip. But I worry she will not want to leave then, especially if the baby comes a bit late.
(And yes, I know it’s up to her and she is not obligated to help me at all, but she wants to!)
Favorite parenting books, particularly for the toddler age? My baby is going to be 1 soon and I’m starting to realize that motherhood is soon going to involve more than simply playing with her and keeping her alive.
I’m buying The Whole-Brain Child today because the e-book is on major sale on Amazon and I’ve heard good things. Any other suggestions?
Can we talk about how you’re treated at work post-baby? I recently returned after a (standard for our office) 3 month maternity leave. I work in state govt, and generally people are pretty laid back and prioritize work-life balance. Schedules are flexible and it’s not unheard of for people to pop out in the middle of the day to take care of an errand. Before baby I put in what I would consider fairly minimal effort and was considered a star performer. I always assumed workplace discrimination against moms happened to people in really big, high-powered careers, not low level government employees like me. But since returning from leave, I feel like people are treating me very differently. A few examples:
–We got annual raises right after I returned from leave. I got the minimum for a satisfactorily performing employee, despite my boss telling me throughout the year I was doing great. My co-workers all got more. I asked boss about it, and he said that I hadn’t done anything wrong, other people were more productive, which is very different than what he was saying before I went on leave and I think he’s comparing my 9 month productivity to their 12 month.
–I work with customers and one of them complained to my boss that I’m less efficient and responsive than I was before going out on leave. Again we work for state govt, people sometimes take weeks to respond to emails and this guy is complaining that I now sometimes take 1 hour instead of 15 minutes. Thankfully my boss had my back – he asked the guy to point to concrete examples and he couldn’t, and so it went nowhere. But I still have to work with the guy and I hate knowing that he thinks I suck at my job. And whenever I can’t get back to him right away (eg if I’m pumping), I worry that he’s going to make a complaint again.
–My boss has tried to be supportive but I feel like’s treating me with kid gloves. He assumed I didn’t want to go to a conference I go to every year because I didn’t want to be away from the baby. Fortunately he talked to me about it and I told him I do want to go. I think he has good intentions, but I feel like I have to fight for every opportunity in a way I didn’t before.
None of this is really affecting my life. More money would be nice, but I make plenty. I’m not worried about getting fired. But it’s just frustrating. It’s hard enough going back to work after leave to begin with, and this is making it a lot harder.
Today I learned that a paralegal from one of my former law firms is starting law school this fall. I remember her as an exceptional employee – hard working, responsible, solutions oriented – and I also recall her difficult personal circumstances (bum boyfriend ended up in jail, leaving her to raise three kids on her own, going to school part time while working full time, etc.)
I haven’t talked to her in a while but I’d like to somehow help her as she makes the transition into law school. Those of you who may have gone to professional school as a non-traditional student – in particular, as a single parent with kids, or as a first-generation student – what would have been helpful for you to manage your first year? Tuition is covered by scholarship, but what other barriers might she run into that I might potentially help with? I’d really like to see her succeed.
I’m going back to work in two weeks and I’m trying to make sure I have plenty of pumping supplies. I had the Medela last time but got a Spectra S2 this time around. I’m thinking I’ll leave the Spectra at work and leave the Medela at home. I also have the manual Medela (which I love). I have the adapters for the Medela parts to work with the Spectra, but I also wanted to get another set of the Spectra duckbill valves. When I was looking at the generic replacements online, it looked like you can also use the duckbill valves on the Medela. Anyone have experience with that? I don’t mind buying more to avoid dealing with the Medela valves and membranes.
Several of the top daycares in my area won’t let you schedule a tour until you’re at the top of the waitlist, which is so weird to me. I got an email from one of them yesterday that they have a spot for us and we could schedule a tour. I replied within minutes and we set up a tour for Wednesday (aka tomorrow) because I had meetings yesterday and today. Then they just emailed me that the spot was taken by someone else and they’re cancelling the tour. I’m so confused. Am I supposed to accept the spot without taking a tour? Am I supposed to drop everything and race over there to take a tour the instant they tell us they have a spot? We don’t need care urgently, so I’m fine that we didn’t get this spot, but I don’t know why they won’t let us tour. I asked point blank if we could keep the tour on the schedule so we can accept immediately the next time they offer us a spot and they said NO. Arrrrghh. Parenting in general has been easier than I anticipated but I had no idea how hard this waitlist daycare game would be!!
Flying with a one year old and a 4 year old soon and I am a bit nervous. We have done many flights recently, but this will be the longest – 5.5 hours. The 4 year old should be fine with books and snacks and will likely fall asleep. I’m more worried about the 1 year old. I used to prepare an elaborate bag of toys for flights for the older kiddo (when she was younger), and I no longer remember what worked best.
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, or just commiseration, but sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to become a parent. I have a kid who is hard. Just really hard, much harder than my other (who isn’t particularly easygoing but is a dream in comparison). He takes so much more energy and parenting than normal, and I’m exhausted after nine years of this. He has behavioral issues and is getting professional help, but it is still not an easy road. Plus, all the therapy focuses on him (as it should), but I really need some support of my own. My marriage is suffering because even though we agree on the results we want, we have very different ways of getting there. I think DH is overly harsh with the kid, which escalates the situation, and affects my feelings toward DH.
I love my child to the moon and back, but this is not what I signed up for.
For those of you who suffer from anxiety, how do you avoid passing that down to your children? I’ve suffered from generalized anxiety and panic disorder for more than a decade with varying degrees of success. I’m on an SSRI, which helps most of the time, but I occasionally have panic attacks caused by work-related issues. I typically avoid discussing my anxious thoughts with my husband, but I worry (ha!) that I will pass this along to my 1 year old. Tips? Suggestions?
We will be starting our first IVF cycle in September (IVF with ICSI). A little nervous but mostly excited – but trying to keep my expectations in check.
Please share all your tips!!!
Do you wear nursing tops to work for pumping, or is this weekend wear?