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I really like this long sweater from Old Navy. I think it hits a good spot between being on the longer side but still looking tailored enough to be professional. In my opinion, some long cardigans can drift over to bathrobe territory, but this one has enough detailing (ribbed bottom, square pockets) to keep it from going there. I like that the edges are a little fuzzy and the shape makes it look higher-end. My preference is the camel, and I’d pair it with black and a leopard print shoe for fun, but I even like how it’s styled on the site with a shoe in the same color family but a different shade. The sweater is $39.99 at Old Navy — currently 40% off — and is also available in black, mushroom, white/gray marl, and “Icelandic mineral” in regular sizes XS–XXL and plus sizes, too. Plush-Knit Long-Line Open-Front Sweater (That’s a lot of hyphens!) This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
HSAL says
Twin moms: Another pumping question since I’m going back to work soon. With my first, I pumped three times a day and generally got 13-14 ounces – 6-8 in the morning and 3-4 during the other two. She took 12 at daycare. I’m wondering if pumping three times will be sufficient for two babies. Supply hasn’t been an issue but I just can’t imagine producing 24+ ounces a day. I’m fine with supplementing, but I could also pump four times at work pretty easily. They have started sleeping through the night (I know!) so I’ve also added a brief pump with the manual before I go to bed, and usually get 3-4 with that. Anyone want to share their experience?
Grandparent Question says
Hey guys. DH and I are leaving on a cruise, just us, next week. Leaving DD behind with Grandpa. Not worried at all, except for one thing. Grandpa has been known to leave the stove accidentally on after cooking. He usually catches his mistake quickly, like when he’s cleaning up, but he had one big scare recently (no fire) and has really been more particular. I spoke with him about this, and said that this caused me some pause and anxiety, and he was very receptive and said that he was double and triple checking to make sure he turned off after cooking, making tea, etc. I plan to leave bright signs around the stove, and also keep an eye on him the days before we leave to make sure we feel comfortable. Anyone dealt with anything similar with grandparents/childcare?
Anonymous says
Can you do some cooking before you leave so he can microwave a bunch of leftovers? It might not totally take care of the problem, but could minimize stove use. And/or some gift cards for take out? Set some alarms periodically to remind him to check?
Anonymous says
Plan to do that for DD (pre-make food) just because I want to, but Grandpa will probably want to make his own stuff here and there. Alarms are a good idea, too!
ElisaR says
that is so my dad too. i don’t even think it’s bc he is older…. he’s always forgotten stuff like that. the stove especially.
in my case i would stress my concerns to him before i leave (and he would push me off saying “i know i know i won’t do that”). but really, i think the reminder does stay with him.
Grandparent Q says
Elisa R – YES! This is 100% it. Dad is sharp as a tack, but just so all over the place sometimes because he takes on a lot. (Sorry for the weird order – could not reply to you, and also sorry to Twin Mum for derailing threading).
IHeartBacon says
I accidentally leave stuff cooking on the stove all the time. It would really stress my husband, and I don’t blame him. He got me a little kitchen timer that sits right next to the stove. I turn it on as soon as I turn on the stove. I’m sure it’s saved my house from being burned to the ground several times. It took a while to develop the habit of turning it on, but I use it every single time now.
Anonymous says
I hope this threads right (for twin mom)– I pumped 3x per day at work when I went back at first and just tried to make them longer (between 20-30 minutes). I found it was the dressing/undressing/storing milk part that was the most time-consuming anyway. I dropped that down to 2x after maybe 2-3 months? I went back when they were 3 months old and pumped until they were about 8 months old. The downside of pumping is really just that I wasn’t increasing supply with their increased demand (I did not nurse at all, just exclusively pumped), so after a while the ratio of BM to formula/solids they were getting was really limiting the value of the time I was spending pumping.
Pogo says
Not personal experience, but a friend EPed for twins and I think she only did around 6 pumps a day total and got something ridiculous, like 70oz. I couldn’t believe that much milk was in her b00bs!! So yes, I think you could pump 3x a day at work and get 24 oz – your body knows that you have twins and it will produce that amount.
Anon says
fellow twin mom here who also recently went back to work. i never made enough to begin with and my twins were getting one bottle of formula per day. unfortunately, i’ve had to adjust my pumping schedule since returning to work (more so the pumps I do when I get home) which has caused my supply to tank and they are now getting half formula and half pumped milk. It really all depends on your body.
Hope your managing ok with your twins! Mine are our first and only and I truly cannot imagine having twins with another child running around.
First Trimester Nausea says
I’m sorry this question has been asked on here before, but… when do you know to ask your obgyn for medication to help with first trimester nausea? I’m about 7 weeks and have been feeling badly for the last 2 – sort of like I’m motion sick pretty much all day. Along with exhaustion, it’s making work unpleasant. But I’m not getting physically sick. I figure it’s worth bringing it up, but I could also probably power through with ginger drops etc?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Definitely bring up any symptoms you have to your OB – that’s what they’re there for. I’m guessing they will recommend that you try the Unisom + B12 combination first, and if it’s getting worse/not helping, then they may prescribe something stronger.
For me, eating lots of small snacks throughout the day helped. The nausea was worst at night, but no throwing up. It went away around 11-12 weeks.
ElisaR says
i would ask your doctor about it. in my experience the sickness went away after the first trimester. to the day, it was weird!
so that means you have a few weeks left of possibly feeling queasy. i would ask the OBGYN for their opinion on it!
Pogo says
Can’t hurt to ask. Although I personally got relief with the B6 + Unisom combo. And weeks 7-10 were by far the worst for me, so you may be out of the woods soon. Anecdata but if you aren’t puking yet, you’ll probably be feeling better by the end of the first tri.
I will also admit I worked from home a bit during that time, but it was right around x-mas and no one was in the office. Super convenient timing – I felt like death 24/7. People kept telling me I looked sick which… thanks.
Anonymous says
Opposite anecdata: I felt exactly like you at first (wekks 6-8ish), but my nausea progressively got worse until I was puking most days (weeks 10+) and I still have to take the prescription version of Unisom+B6 (diclegis) into my third trimester, otherwise the nausea and vomiting come back full force. For me, the time release diclegis was an absolute life-saver. It helped me not feel nauseous at work, which allowed me to do my job better. Try the over the counter first, but really there’s no reason not to ask about the prescription even if you’re just feeling really queasy and not throwing up.
Peppermint Patty says
These don’t work for everyone, but I had a lot of success with Sea Bands for my first trimester nausea. I was also given the advice to eat something before I got out of bed in the morning. I never had an appetite, but I made myself eat a few crackers right after I woke up and it made the morning and my commute more tolerable.
Aly says
So I used medication for morning sickness. I was vomiting 10x per day, so it was bad. But constant nausea is bad too! I’d ask your doctor about it for sure – you don’t need to suffer. But, one warning, I did find it knocked me out and made my exhaustion much worse. So, trade-offs.
CCLA says
Ask now, no need to be a martyr! I waited a few weeks and in retrospect wish I’d have asked sooner. The doc willingly wrote an rx for diclegis (delayed release rx of unisom+b6) once I confirmed I had already tried the OTC unisom+b6. I think many insurance cos require that you try other things first before they’ll cover diclegis.
maternity clothes help? says
I’m in my second trimester with my second child and desperately need new maternity clothes — my current office is more on the formal end of business casual than my old office (e.g. I used to wear black pants, maternity tees and cardigans, but would need to swap that outfit with a blouse for my current office, also used to wear jersey dresses and would need more formal fabric here). Could you give me specific links to maternity workhorses you had for your fairly formal business casual office? Needs to be machine washable and money is tight to the more affordable the better. Thanks!!
Anonymous says
Motherhood Maternity usually has good dresses. I don’t see my favorite on their website anymore. But they’re currently buy one, get one 50% off. Lots of things look cute. I had about 4-5 maternity dresses from there and wore the heck out of them. I washed them at least once a week and hung to dry. You can wear a non-maternity blazer open over them to dress them up if need be. Same for some of your jersey dresses probably. I’d try hard to dress them up with blazers, cardigans, scarves, statement necklaces, etc. as opposed to phasing them out entirely. People understand that maternity fabrics and styles are often more casual for functionality reasons. As long as you’re put together and in the realm of okay, you get a pass.
Pogo says
+1, this was my workhorse for business end of business casual:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/motherhood-maternity-printed-wrap-dress?ID=5990659&CategoryID=66718
I also did dark jersey fabric with a structured, non-maternity blazer. Could you swing that in your office?
The other one I did a lot was maternity dress pants (I got hand me downs on those… so no recs), maternity tank (the 2 for 1s at the back of Motherhood Maternity, super stretch with a high neck) and a structured, non-maternity blazer.
If you rotate the blazers frequently and change accessories it looks like more outfits than you really have.
OP says
Thanks! I’ll try motherhood dresses, and what I have with a blazer.
Anonymous says
I wear this twice a week and rotate blazers:
https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/shift-dress.html
I have a business formal workplace and even though its jersey it’s very thick and dark and I think with a blazer looks perfectly appropriate (frankly more appropriate than an ill fitting woven maternity dress).
ElisaR says
+1 to seraphine. it’s good quality. I had several dresses that I wore and I sold them all to ThredUp after baby was born. It’s a good place to check for a good deal on Seraphine!
KateMiddletown says
Can’t link but here’s my list:
Gap wrap nursing/maternity dress – black
Isabelle for Target black pants
Old Navy black pixie pants
Isabelle for Target “nice” tops I found on clearance rack (you have to hunt a bit but they’re great)
Asos Maternity button down – although I have to get it dry cleaned since I’m over ironing, it’s worth it
Old Navy LS twist front dress (I got a pattern on clearance for $12 but would highly recommend black)
I bought a few things on super clearance from Ingrid and Isabelle, including a sweater material pencil skirt which works really well right now despite the fact that it’s sweater material. Their pieces look nice, but tend to be expensive.
Highly recommend Poshmark – “like” stuff you might want and sellers will send you discounts.
I supplemented the “basics” with a visit to my local consignment store, where I also bought an XXXL belt for all the below-belly pants I thought would see me thru all 3 trimesters (haha.) I also subscribed to RocksBox specifically for pregnancy knowing I’d be wearing the same 5 things almost every week, so at least I’d have some cute new jewelry, dammit.
I tried to do a spreadsheet like Kat did for maternity clothes spending, but it’s super depressing. I think I spent $500-600 this go-round, and I feel like I’ve been VERY minimal and frugal.
KateMiddletown says
Oh, and skip buying anything “weekend” maternity. I didn’t buy jeans this go-round knowing I needed to spend more on work clothes, and could buy clearance/consignment weekend wear. (Clothes Mentor is a chain in my area and the stores in the nicer ‘burbs tend to have decent maternity selection.)
IHeartBacon says
Some great trousers: https://www.loft.com/maternity-trousers/445802?skuId=23584860&defaultColor=2222&catid=catl000043
When I needed to go to court, I would wear them as my suit bottom with my regular non-maternity black suit jacket.
OP says
Thanks all! So helpful!
EB0220 says
Thanks to everyone for recommending some working mom podcasts. I started listening to Best of Both Worlds and I love it (now that I’m used to the format). It’s interesting to hear Laura Vanderkam’s actual voice after reading her books. I like both hosts, but then Laura V’s philosophy has always spoken to me.
Cb says
Oh it’s very good, isn’t it? I actually really love Sarah’s approach to things. The only challenge is that sometimes it feels like the answer is to hire more help which isn’t necessary doable on academic/civil service salaries.
Anonymous says
Exactly my thought. Divorced single mom, I’ve already outsourced as much as I can afford, and no family nearby that helps.
EB0220 says
I agree. I was actually researching the cost of some of their recommendations this morning. They mention a lot of support, and nannies seem to be a big thing. I have resisted things like overnight nannies in the past to support a 2-travel career situation because I thought it was too expensive. The budgeting on the show does seem geared toward a family with two relatively high earners. Mostly I like that they both help me at least challenge the assumptions I’ve made about time, money, career and parenting. I find that really helpful, even if I ultimately decide I have a different approach than they do. Interesting stuff for sure.
AwayEmily says
I really like Sarah but Laura annoys me because she comes off as completely convinced that the way she does everything is the “right” way. Agreed on the “throw money at it” issue. I wish they would talk about more cheaper alternatives for stressed working parents — like, finding a neighbor who will do a childcare swap for you, or what kinds of premade food isn’t super awful for you and your kids, or how to change your household routine to keep things organized (as opposed to “hire someone to watch the kids, hire someone to cook for you, and hire someone to keep your house organized”).
anon says
You need The Mom Hour. I like Best of Both Worlds, but both hosts inhabit worlds that I can only imagine. The hosts of The Mom Hour have more practical suggestions than just “hire out everything.”
CHL says
I’m a huge LV fan and (I have never done this before in my life) wrote her a note on Friday just saying how I appreciate how her advance through books and podcasts has made a difference in my life. She wrote me a kind personal note back about 12 hours later. I can totally get how a lot of her solutions involve spending money that not all of us have, but for me the more powerful messages of hers are around myths around our time and not letting others dictate how we spend our time (working moms often have more power than we think. maybe not as much as we want…) and how we feel about how we spend our time. I like Sarah but am sometimes stressed out by all the planning she does. Laura’s message is sometimes a little more JSFIAMO, which resonates more to me than planning everything to the Nth. I do think that they don’t have a whole lot of experience with Corporate life, so that’s an aspect that doesn’t always come through.
DLC says
I love this podcast too, but I resent how in their intro they say how their podcast is about how “real women” handle works life and time for themselves. I am a real woman too, and I can’t afford to hire help to the degree they do. I understand that these issues are important to dicuss regardless of income, but they come from an incredibly privileged place in terms of both income and professional flexibility.
The other thing that really bothers me, is Laura’s complete lack of empathy for other women’s emotional truths. It is all fine and well to say that logically there is no reason for guilt, or that you don’t need to miss your baby when you are away in a trip, but emotions are legitimate and not always rational. Saying, “This is so not a problem” is not helpful and I think only perpetuates a sense of inferiority for those of us who do struggle with feelings of guilt and loneliness in motherhood.
Hmm… I guess those are two big things I don’t like about the podcast- what I do like are the guests (especially ones that don’t have a book or something to plug- I like hearing about every day life.), and there is something very real about Sarah. And I love the idea of time tracking and being more mindful of your time.
dc anon says
I am realizing that my life would be improved if my house were cleaner and more organized. Could I pay someone to come over and put things away for a hour every couple of days? Is that a thing?
EB0220 says
Yep! I haven’t personally done it but I’ve seen people advertise for it in my area (Raleigh). You could probably try Craigslist, local FB groups, etc.
IHeartBacon says
Also check out the Nextdoor app and see if you can post something there. I could see a retired neighbor being interested in this type of job. They could walk to your house and it doesn’t sound like the work would be too labor-intensive.
IHeartBacon says
Or a teen/pre-teen who can come over an hour after school.
Spirograph says
I agree that life is better with a cleaner and more organized house. I’ve found it frees up mental space for me, and makes a big difference in my stress level. I haven’t fully Kondo’d my stuff, but ruthlessly eliminating
unnecessary things and keeping clutter spots clear has made a HUGE difference. I’ve found the table in our entryway is the most important, because it’s a convenient dumping ground and also the first thing I see when I walk in the door, so if it’s messy, I’m instantly on edge.
That said, food for thought:
Our housecleaner occasionally “helps” by putting things away. They end up in weird places where i wouldn’t look for them, and I spend 15 minutes trying to find [thing]. It would probably work to have someone to help tidy for stuff that obviously has a Place Where it Belongs, but it might not be a silver bullet.
Redux says
Yes, our housecleaner used my 4-year old’s beloved color change cup as a scoop for cleaning products. DH found it in the cleaning supply closet, reeking of bleach. We threw it away.
Anonymous says
We gave notice to our daycare today that we’ll be leaving. We managed to get off the waiting list for both kids in another local daycare that is significantly cheaper and slightly more convenient. For all practical reasons, I know it’s a good decision, and I know kids are resilient and will love their new teachers and make new friends. But after 3 years there, it’s still making me sad. My husband doesn’t understand why I care, and I guess it’s silly. I don’t know what I’m looking for, just had to get that off my chest.
Anon in NYC says
I feel you. When we moved my daughter at age 2 from the place she’d been at since 4 months, I felt sad too!
anon says
It’s totally OK to feel sad! You’ve developed relationships there, and I think it’s always hard to leave the place that took care of your kids when they were babies.
We left our first daycare after 5 years there. Oldest was starting kindergarten, and logistically it made sense to move daughter to a center closer to home. But it was hard, and I cried a lot in the weeks leading up to the transition. Everything went great, though, and we happily stayed at the new center for 2 years.
OP says
Thank you! I’m glad I”m not the only one.
Pogo says
Not silly!!! Watching my son’s face explode into a smile as he sees his bff every morning and the two of them run away giggling hysterically… that will be tough when the day comes that they don’t see each other every day.
Anon says
We’ve had to move daycares twice and my kid isn’t even 3 yet. There is definitely an adjustment period (1-2 weeks, depending on age) and we had to do much earlier bedtime during that time because she really needed chillout time to just process the new environment. But it was all back to normal after that. We also kept class photos from the prior daycares. She can’t remember anything from the first (she was maybe a year old when she moved the first time) but, incredibly, she can name 5 kids and both the teachers from the second daycare where she was at 1 to 2 yo. All experiences shape them as humans. Your kids will have this experience and someone else will have another. As long as they have basics and your love and support, this is not an innately positive or negative development in their lives.
Anoner says
Trying to post again bc got the posting too quickly message. Anyone have great hacks for feeling less frumpy? I have a toddler and work full time in a large NE city. I feel frumpy in my business casual clothes (although I’ve purged stuff thag doesn’t fit quite right on my post baby body). I also feel like my hair sucks (thick and wavy and always in a bun due to heat) and my skin isn’t great without makeup which I rarely have time to do. So just looking for a way to feel good again. Any specific advice that takes little to no time would be greatly appreciated!
Anonymous says
Dr. Jart Cicapair tinted sunscreen. You can’t afford to leave the house without some sort of sunscreen because cancer and this one takes all the red out and really evens skin tone.
Anonymous says
Thank you! I do manage to use Cerave w sof but my skin tone is very red so this will help. Gonna order this in the Sephora sale.
EB0220 says
I started dressing up a bit more than business casual, mostly in sheath dresses, which helps me feel more pulled together somehow. (They’re also easier to pick out – just one piece to choose.) I also have wavy, thick hair and keratin treatments have been AMAZING for my hair. Really reduces the frizz and makes my hair look more polished with less effort on my part.
Anoner says
Thank you! I actually purged so many sheaths bc they were slightly too tight post baby. Gonna hunt for some that actually fit. Keratin sounds awesome just worried about upkeep. But my bff has it and loves it so may be worth it
ElisaR says
i just did the Keratin. It’s making my hair easier to style and makes me wear it down more. The hair up in a bun for 2 years straight was not working for me anymore.
I also bought a bunch of joie blouses on nordstromrack. They are flowy and make me feel a little better (downside is dry clean).
the momedit (dot com) had a piece on QUICK makeup. i bought a few of the things on there and have my makeup down to 1 minute flat now. it involved urban decay foundation, laura mercier caviar eye stick and mascara. that’s pretty much it.
ElisaR says
https://themomedit.com/2017/06/easy-5-min-make-routine-anyone-can/
Anoner says
Thank you! This is helpful!
EB0220 says
The first time, I was able to let it go for a whole year without re-doing. The second time I got it (this year) it’s only been 3 months and I don’t think it’s holding as well. We used a different version (brand? formula?) this time. Still love it though. So worth the time it saves in the morning!
anon says
For minimal make-up, I like Bareminerals tinted primer.
NJ says
A fabulous new handbag!
Anonymous says
Getting my eyebrows waxed and dyed makes me feel way less frumpy. I know that’s oddly specific, but I love the way they frame my face and open up my eyes, even with no makeup.
Carine says
I’ve started wearing scarves more frequently and every day I put on one more piece of jewelry than I’d usually wear – usually a bracelet. Somehow that makes me feel just a bit more polished – and every little bit counts in these postpartum days!
farrleybear says
For minimal makeup, I really like L’oreal Double Extend tube mascara. It actually stays put–my prior mascara was smudging off and making me look like I hadn’t slept in a month. I also do Beautycounter Dew skin tinted moisturizer with sunscreen, and have used Laura Mercier as well.
Anonanonanon says
I do Boden fit and flare style dresses instead of sheaths, as I’m pear-shaped so sheaths are tough to find to begin with, and the fit and flar styles were more forgiving post-baby. As others have mentioned, a dress goes a long way towards feeling put together.
I get eyelash extensions, which get touched up at a 1 hour appointment ever 3 weeks. In between, I never have to put mascara on, which is awesome.
Also, I do a clothing rental service (I do the Ann Taylor one but there’s loads of options) so I can try out different sizes/styles for my new post-baby body, and have new pieces to wear. Also, if something works, it’s pretty cheap to keep usually. My favorite part is that I don’t have to wash anything before sending it back, so it cuts down on laundry!
Anonymous says
The frump is real. I feel you. The one thing that helps me is makeup. Moisturizer with SPF, Powder foundation (MAC), a bit of blush, and boing under eye concealer. If I have time liner and mascara. But the basics (no eye stuff) can be applied in 3 minutes. easily makes me feel more put together. I usually have this stuff in my bag and keep an extra set at work. Also, I keep perfume at work. My clothes and hair still need work, but I feel like to look a little more put together this way. Good luck mama!!!
Sweatpants says
Where can I find sweat pants for a skinny 6 y/o boy? He’s in shorts for his first day of school because all his pants were too big in the waist and too short in the legs! Oops! (He can’t do those polyester athletic pants because they irritate his excema.)
Betty says
Carter’s/OshKosh have sweatpants with a real drawstring. They work on my super skinny 7 year old.
Anon in NYC says
I really like Hanna Andersson for stuff like this. They’re expensive but soft and durable. Or, really, any store/brand that gives you sizes based on height and weight. I find that when I buy clothes based on those measurements that I can get 1-2 years of wear out of them for my 3 year old. She’ll be wearing Hanna Anderson pants this fall/winter that I purchased for her last year.
Anonymous says
Zara! My son is younger but a total stringbean and Zara’s sweats work great. Not as good quality as Hannas but also significantly cheaper.
Anonymous says
We do a lot of h&m sweatpants for our tall thin kid. Cheap and surprisingly high quality.
Anonymous says
Uniqlo is pretty good for my tall, skinny son
Anonanonanon says
My son is small (we’re talking 7th percentile for weight) and we can’t do sweatpants at school, partially for this reason. I order jeans and pants from H&M, because they have adjustable elastic inside the waist where I can make them tighter. Some of their jeans are lined with soft sweatpant-like material inside if he doesn’t like the feel of jeans.
anon says
Anyone have any tips for managing anxiety in your dog? Our younger dog has always been anxious – which manifests in destruction about the house and peeing in the house. We crated him many years ago but his behavior improved when we stopped crating him. We also had another, older dog, and I think their interaction helped. The older dog passed recently, which has amped up the anxiety in the younger one. Any suggestions? Should we look into medication? He’s always been good with our kid, but I worry if he continues to get more anxious that behavior around our kid could suffer (plus I’m tired of the stains and torn up things).
Em says
Ask your vet about Adaptil. It’s a calming pheromone that you spray on a handkerchief the dog wears.
Anonymous says
I would start with trying to get more exercise for the dog. Doggie daycare or dogwalker. Doggie daycare even 1 day a week has helped my nervous and anxious pup. This may also help with seeing other dogs – some dogs just like to be around other dogs. If you can’t do more walks or play time, get some toys that he can engage with during the day – esp kongs that you freeze. Training is also tiring for dogs. Watch some youtube videos that model positive reinforcement training. Even ten minutes a day is very beneficial – although you need really good treats!
My current dog is a mess when he isn’t getting enough exercise/ stimulation. I have also had a dog that needed medication – but that was an extreme case. At least from our experience a vet is not going to suggest medication unless the dog 1) has not responded to lots of exercise and 2) has seen a behaviorist that suggests medication.
Cb says
Just got the first invoice from nursery and feeling very glad we’ve always been one and done. I don’t know how people manage with more than 1 kid – at full-time, it would be double our mortgage.
Anonymous says
My friends laugh at me when I say finances are part of why we’re one and done, but daycare would be $2k/month for two kids – and our mortage is only $1300! (LCOL area obviously). It’s not the only factor and if I had a burning desire for a second we could make it work, but having one makes everything way easier financially.
Cb says
Our mortgage is £600 and our nursery fees are £1050 (for 4 days a week).
Anonymous says
Our mortgage is $3600. We have 3 kids of daycare age. It’s just over $5500/mo to send them 8:30-6. Ugh.
Anonymous says
Commiseration.
Our mortgage is $2400, and we were paying $4600 for 3 in daycare. But one starts kindergarten next week, the youngest just moved out of the infant classes, and relief is in sight!
Anon says
No kidding. Our mortgage is 3K and daycare is 2K for ONE. But also omg kids are so much work.
Anonanonanon says
Yep. 2 kids is costing me 30K a year in childcare. And the baby is in an in-home daycare, which is cheaper than a center.
The elementary schooler’s child care works out to be as much as the baby’s annually! Before/After school care runs us $190/week, and summer is about $1700/month. There’s plenty of cheaper summer options, but not that actually cover a full working day.
We definitely live in a smaller/cheaper house than we otherwise would.
Sleeping in the Carseat says
Is there anything I can do to make sleeping more comfortable for our 2.5 (almost 3 year old) in her car seat? Her head and neck always hang down, and it is hard for her sleep very long in it (although we travel a lot at naptime and take what we can get). Tonight we’re going to an event a few hours away and will start driving home at bedtime. Anything I can do to make her comfortable enough to sleep the whole trip? She’s in a Britax Marathon and it is reclined as much as it can while still being installed properly (which, TBH, isn’t much).
FVNC says
Our daughter has a little neck pillow that seems to help on longer car trips. I think she started using it when she was around 3 yrs old.
What's money, anyway? says
Hi! Anyone have a Snoo bassinet? They are pricey (though currently on sale), but all of the online reviews seem to rave about it.
Anon in NYC says
I did not. It looks amazing, and I’ve heard rave reviews about it getting your kid to sleep at a very young age. But I’ve also heard that it’s a challenge when they outgrow it and no longer have the rocking/vibration.
Anonymous says
You don’t want to rely on a sleep crutch like this. When your kid outgrows it, you’re in for a nigtmare because they won’t be able to fall asleep without the responsive sound and swaying.
Cb says
I dunno though, as the mom of a not great sleeper, it might have been worth it to me to delay the pain until the worst bit of the postpartum period was over.
Pogo says
There was definitely a discussion on here recently about it. People do seem to think it’s worth the money.
buffybot says
I did! My son is now 8 months old and we used it for the first 4-5 months or so until we switched him into his own room and crib.
I was worried about creating a sleep crutch as the commenter above mentioned, but it never seemed to be an issue. We transitioned out of the rocking when we went on a week long trip (where we didn’t have a snoo) and then transitioned to the actual crib a few weeks later. We still use white noise, however.
Son is a great sleeper, but I don’t know how much of that can be attributed to the Snoo versus just luck of the draw. I thought that the white noise and rocking kept him asleep for longer – we got good 3-4 hour chunks of sleep pretty early on. When he was a bit older (like, 2-3 months), I think it also helped with the notion that we could put him down drowsy but awake and he would just sort of drift off. But it never really “put” him to sleep, and it definitely never soothed him from crying back down to sleep – we always had to pick him up.
That being said, we also never had to rely on the rock n play or swing for night time sleep, and he slept through the night fairly quickly, even after the 4 month sleep regression. Did the SNOO do that? Probably not, but it probably helped, too? Plus it was quite attractive and lasted longer (size wise) than the Halo bassinest thingy. I’m a fan.
Anonymous says
We have minor drama in my office that I’m in the middle of. We have a spare office that is currently not being used very effectively. Part-time, about 15 hours a week, it is used as a working space by a charitable organization for free. They do not contribute anything to rent. They use our internet, our printer, our office supplies for free. Lately this org has wanted to completely redesign the office space, and reserve it for their exclusive use.
I have mentioned several times to my boss that I would like to move into this office and have it be used more efficiently since I am an actual employee, I have seniority, and I’m obviously here full-time. I also really dislike where I sit now – no privacy or quiet. There are other working spaces the charitable org can use. He agrees with me, but it has been a battle against this charitable org because they feel they are entitled to exclusive private use of this office space.
Last night, after everyone else had left, people from the org came in and moved around all the furniture including our files etc. They waited until they knew we wouldn’t be here to make these changes.
My boss is NOT happy and is more inclined to make it my office now.
It’s the little petty things that make the day more interesting…
Anonymous says
oops, meant to post this on the main s!te!
Anonymous says
My favorite nanny candidate told me she made $15/hour in her last job (full time). Is it reasonable to offer her $17/hour for our part time (3 days/week) position? She seemed confident she could pick up work on the other two days, but I’m kind of skeptical of that. I did mention that we only need her for ~25 hours but could potentially employ her for more (we can afford it, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have some help even when DH and I are home), but she said she was fine with 25 hours.
Anonymous says
Why do you doubt her ability to pick up other part-time work? Great part-time nannies are not easy to find in my area as most want full time hours. I’d say she could easily pick up a 2 day a week after school position to give her another 6- 8 hours.
Anonymous says
I meant I dont think she can get 15 hours so I doubt she can get a full 40. Also wouldn’t someone who wants after school help want it every weekday?
Spirograph says
Not necessarily. Telework schedules, family caregivers, hobbies/extra curriculars for only one of a multi-kid family etc … there are lots of reasons someone might want only a couple days of after school help!
I think offering $17 is fine, and think about your ceiling if she negotiates. It’s great that you want to be a fair employer and make sure she has a living wage, but it’s really on her to decide whether your offer works for her needs.
IHeartBacon says
“It’s great that you want to be a fair employer and make sure she has a living wage, but it’s really on her to decide whether your offer works for her needs.” Exactly.
Your job is to find a nanny that meets your family’s needs. The applicant says 25 hrs/week will work for her. If that works for you, too, and she will accept what you are willing to pay, and on top of that you really like her, it’s a match made in heaven.
Anonymous says
It’s less about paying a living wage (although I do want to) and more about trying to make our offer competitive enough that she accepts. The nanny search has been brutal and this is honestly the first person I feel halfway comfortable with.
anon says
What I would be worried about in your shoes is what happens if she finds someone who will give her full time. So I think offering her a little more per hour is a reasonable approach.
Anonymous says
Anyone care to do some vicarious baby shopping? Looking for an outfit for my soon-to-be one year old for some family photos that will be centered around her. Think we’ll be in 12-18 month size, probably needing short sleeves, long pants but a little flexibility there to maybe do long sleeves. Want something she can move in (not a dress) but a bit nicer than play/daycare clothes. I was thinking a tea romper would be perfect but I’m not loving the styles out there right now. Any similar brands/options?
AwayEmily says
Lots of super cute things if you google “bubble romper (tho most are not long pants). Love this one from Old navy https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=287241002
Anonymous says
Thanks! This could work: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=53048&pcid=47926&vid=1&pid=286267012
anon says
My BFF’s baby girl has a few of these jumpsuit/ rompers from Carter’s. They are super cute! https://www.carters.com/carters-baby-girl-one-pieces/V_118I397.html?navid=carters-xsellPDPYMAL1
shortperson says
i went to tea for a romper for 1 year baby photos as well and had the same reaction re current lineup. instead i went with the peek kids lena dress, but you are probably better suited to the boden HEDGEHOG FRIENDS ROMPER which was my second choice.
Anonymous says
OMG THIS IS ADORABLE. Thank you thank you!
Anonymous says
Nordstrom sells clothing sets that I love for “special but not fancy” outfits.
For example:
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/nordstrom-baby-dot-dress-leggings-set-baby-girls/4858238
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/rufflebutts-bubble-romper-head-wrap-set-baby-girls/5050501
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tea-collection-top-leggings-set-baby-girls/4906225
Anonymous says
Thanks! I am deep down into this rabbit hole now :)
Anonymous says
In moderation (or something– I swear my comments have just been disappearing lately), but check N-strom’s clothing sets. Super cute options.
Ella says
Have you tried smocked auctions? This is pretty adorable: http://www.smockedauctions.com/girls/bubbles/geometric-smocked-long-bubble-turquoise-corduroy.html
anon says
Gift ideas for an 8 year old boy? He is really into basketball, math, and Harry Potter (but has tons of HP stuff).
He is also in and out of the hospital a lot.
Redux says
Rubix Cube!
Anon says
Traffic Jam – or other puzzle logic games
Wayside School Books series by Louis Sachar – they have crazy logic math puzzles but are funny
Anonymous says
SpyX gear – walkie talkies if he has someone to play with (another kid in hospital?), secret handwriting stuff, motion detectors, etc…
If he likes to read HP here are some other book series my HP-loving 8-year-old is into:
– William Wenton
– The Blackthorn Key
– Addison Cooke
– Book Scavenger
(These have also inspired interest in codebreaking, which AMZ will happily recommend to you if you go there for these book recs)
Redux says
Ok, homemakers, tell me about your couch. Do you love it? Hate it? Why? What couch should I get???
I am in that terrible frozen moment of trying to figure out what to spend a couple thousand dollars on that looks good and is comfortable AND will survive a family of small children and am totally frozen in fear of regret. We currently have hand-me-down couches that I hate because they are way too soft and always looks messy. So, one thing I know I want is a firmer cushion and a more upholstered look. Color? Brand? Style? What is working for you (and what should I avoid?)?
dc anon says
We love our sectional couch from Macys home. We have had it for three years and its in great shape.
AwayEmily says
We have an Ikea kivik sectional and LOVE it. It has stood up for years to toddler/baby abuse. The cushions haven’t sunk at all. It’s plenty firm and safe for toddler climbing. We’re going to get a “fancier” one once the kids are older (I love navy blue velvet ones) but this is a great one for now and we get so many compliments on it.
Redux says
My dream couch is a blue velvet tufted camelback… but I will save that for 16 years from now…
EB0220 says
I love this couch! Do the low armrests bother you?
AwayEmily says
I actually never thought of them as low before but looking at the photo I guess they are lower than normal. So, no! definitely do not bother me! Also it’s nice because the armrests are wide enough that you can put books/cups of coffee balanced on board books/etc on them.
BPS says
+ 1 – we have this, get tons of compliments, and it has stood up well to baby fluids :)
Anon says
We got a FlexSteel power leather recliner in a dark chocolate leather. I love it. The leather wipes up well for all the ice cream drips, spit up, and the occasional teething nibble. The power recline has been critical for when the baby falls asleep and you want to get up while holding her because it’s so quiet. I am very pro leather with kids because it is so much easier to wipe up spills. If I weren’t doing leather I would do a machine washable slipcover, but DH hates the look of slipcovered furniture.
Anon says
Also, we have a long and skinny living room, so the recliner sofa means you can comfortable put your feet up without the need for a coffee table; plus side is no sharp coffee table corners to bonk heads on. We just have two small side tables on either side for drinks, books, etc.
Redux says
I love leather, too. I am obsessed with a hyper-masculine giant leather chesterfield, but will never pull the trigger. I’m really into the west elm “axel” sofa, too, which is much more modern and understated.
Lillers says
I have 2 sectional sofas. One is from Macys, and although we like the aesthetics of it, the cushions have gotten terribly smushed and it stains easily. I wouldn’t be inclined to buy another sofa from there.
The other is from Room and Board. That sofa has held up really nicely over a few years. You can actually search by firmness on their website. Also, many of their fabrics are stain-resistant, and I can personally vouch for that feature. We are planning to move soon and will definitely buy our next couch from Room and Board.
Redux says
Which fabric did you get from R&B? I ordered a bunch of samples but would love a review from someone who has used it!
Anonymous says
I have had an R&B couch for 10? 11? Ooh, i think it’s been almost 13 years!! We really need to replace it because it is a small sectional that we got when we were 2 small adults. Now one of us adults has grown (ahem) and we’ve added 3 little but rapidly growing people! :) But the couch, including all the cushions, is still in GREAT shape. Probably should be cleaned professionally but I’m totally happy with its looks & performance. We regularly fall asleep on it.
The exact model is not available anymore but it is similar to the Watson/York/Metro sectionals currently available. The fabric we got is some kind of weave. I don’t like microfiber or anything that feels synthetic. The weave we have includes some synthetic but feels like cotton/linen.
Annie says
Third room and board – we’re really happy with our room and board sofa.
ElisaR says
i bought a cream colored (?!? I have 2 young kids) couch through a designer. I think it might have been a Sherrill. It wasn’t cheap BUT it is made from sunbrella fabric.
My father in law said “oh yeah I spilled some wine on it the other day and it’s gone!”
I was like “WTF you spilled red wine on my white couch????” but hey, I couldn’t tell. Sunbrella fabric is super easy to clean.
FVNC says
I love my Sherrill. The only “problem” is, it is so well made that 11 years and three moves later it still looks new. So I can’t justify getting a new couch that would better reflect our house and family! I dream about light colored furniture…Sunbrella fabric could be a life-changer.
Redux says
This is great intel, thanks! I am sold on Sunbrella now. My current couch is microfiber, which is supposedly easy to clean, but we’ve managed to stain it!
FVNC, my parents have the same “problem”– a forever couch that has outlived its fashion but seems to be indestructable and so they can’t get rid of it.
shortperson says
we have an urban sectional from west elm in the default dark grey color and it holds up to everything. jumping on the couch is encouraged in our house. and it is amazing for fort building, it is basically a playground in our living room.
Redux says
Yes! We encourage couch jumping, too (we have a long, cold, dark winter, so we get our exercise wherever we can find it).
Spirograph says
We have a sleeper sofa from Bassett in the family room, and the Shelton sofa from Ethan Allen in the living room, both of which are holding up well ~5 years in. I really like both. The family room couch cushions double as occasional trampolines and are rotated pretty regularly because they’re used for forts, and we’ve had no issues with them losing shape.
The cats have been rougher on them than the kids have, honestly. The living room couch is in a dark blue textured fabric, family room is a tweedy beige-ish and stain-resistant. Also, all the cushion covers on the family room couch zip off and are washable, which has been really useful. I’m not sure they’re billed as washable, but I’ve had good luck washing on cold and either hanging to dry or using low heat.
Redux says
Ooh, I love that Shelton!
Spirograph says
It’s really pretty! and surprisingly comfortable for a more formal sofa. It makes my blood boil that the cat has roughed up a strip on one side, despite me trying every deterrent known to man. There’s really not much else in my house I would be upset if she scratched, so of course she picked the nice sofa.
DLC says
What room are you looking for? In our living room, we have a button back sofa by Sherrill Furniture, which we got at a local furniture store. It is really well made and sturdy, despite looking delicate. I think the button back and the exposed wooden legs make it look polished and it is comfy enough for naps. We’ve had it for eight years, with two kids and a cat. However, we are really strict about no eating on the couch and when the cat was alive, we kept a throw blanket over it. In our tv room we have a sectional from Macy’s. The cushions are pretty firm and it is super comfy- we even use it for overnights. It’s dark grey so doesn’t show stains as badly.
Redux says
We’re moving from a small apartment into a large house and getting rid of our hand-me-down free furniture and for the first time buying new furniture. So to your question: yes, all the rooms. We have two rooms in the front, a sitting room and a living room. In the back there is a kitchen that opens to a family room. So, I need at least two couches and probably more.
Blueberries says
I was in the same position and concluded that there was nothing better for me than Ikea. I thought I’d upgrade at this point in my life, but I love that Ikea has machine-washable slipcover options, which was otherwise hard to find.
I’ve had good luck with Ikea’s higher end options (12 year old couch still going strong, though I replaced the slip covers). Even the higher end options are inexpensive enough that I’m not going to freak out if something happens to them (which with young kids, I expect that something will happen eventually).
Anonanonanon says
We have a Pottery Barn couch with a machine-washable slip cover. It definitely does not look like a slip cover since it’s custom-made for the couch. All of the cushion covers come off and can be machine-washed as can the entire couch cover. We have a white couch and 2 kids, and it has been about 3 years and is still going strong.
I also like knowing that, if something horrible happens, we can buy another cover, which is cheaper than replacing the whole couch. Also it’s VERY comfortable.
Anonymous says
Weird medical question – I think I’ve developed a thyroid issue postpartum. Is this something I can see my OB about (because it’s directly related to the baby) or do I need to see a primary care doctor? I don’t have one, but can get one. I don’t think I can see an endocrinologist without a referral from a PCP or OB.
Anonymous says
Call your OB and ask for a lab workup. Once they get results they can figure out if they can treat you or refer you appropriately (not a medical professional but also had concerns about this issue pp)
Anon in NYC says
I’d call your OB and ask for a referral. I had a thyroid issue during pregnancy and my OB referred me to an endocrinologist who also specialized in reproductive health.
EB0220 says
When I had postpartum thyroid issues, I went to a random PCP. I actually didn’t suspect thyroid issues but he noticed my thyroid was really enlarged, ran the labs and then referred me to an endo. I think an OB could do the same thing (run the labs and refer to an endo). If it does turn out to be thyroid, I recommend trying to find an endocrinologist who does a lot of work with thyroid patients. The first one I went to treated mainly diabetes patients and didn’t seem comfortable treating thyroid disease.
Anonymous says
Thanks all. For a couple months I chalked my symptoms (mainly insane hunger and thirst and rapid weight loss despite eating like Michael Phelps) up to nursing. But in the last few weeks I’ve started having heart palpitations and shortness of breath and also some weird nausea/GI stuff (definitely not pregnant) all of which is symptomatic of thyroid issues. I called my OB and they’re going to order me some bloodwork.
Anonymous says
No specific clothing recs, but I recently sold all of my maternity workwear (including suiting dresses from a pea in the pod) on Poshmark. I would recommend looking there to keep the cost down.
anon. says
Not maternity, but the Lush tunic tops from Nordstrom work for this. They are washable and I can usually find them for $12-15 on ebay.
anonforthis says
Pregnant with #2 and pretty sure I don’t want to come back to firm after baby is born. Can I still take the paid maternity leave and not come back? I know this is not nice, but we could really use the benefits for the 12 weeks.
Anonymous says
You may need to repay the benefits if you don’t return.
CCLA says
Check your employee handbook, it likely has details on this. Most places I’ve worked, failure to return would not have required you to pay back the leave payments, but would have required you to pay back things like employer covered healthcare costs and similar benefits for the leave period.
Anonymous says
Technically? Depends on your org. Some would back bill you for the benefits.
Politically? You’d do so, so much better to go out, come back, the. “Decide it isn’t for you” after a few weeks vs never coming back. I’ve had people on my team do both. I’ve also had someone waffle and we worked out a flexible/part time arrangement, kept her on for another year and then she left for a year and came back a year later. I don’t truest know if the woman that came back then decided to leave had planned to leave all along, but the impression it left me with is “I had intended to return, I tried, it isn’t working” as opposed to “I k ew all along but I just wanted 12 paid weeks.”
anonforthis says
really helpful advice, thanks so much.
Anon says
+1. I’ve had people do both and it works really well politically to try it first. I get that it sucks, because it’s coming back to work at a hard time, but I know many who have had their partner stagger his/her leave so they’re out for the month that mom comes back.
And who knows, maybe you try it and it’s not so bad, or you hated your 3 months leave and can’t stay home and remain sane. Or your partner has some work issues that force you to come back. Planning to come back, even for a little while, keeps your options open.
Anon says
Please don’t do this. At least come back and try it for a short time. We had a woman years ago do this at my law firm, and people still talk about it years later. It also made a lot of the older partners less likely to support/increase maternity/paternity leave time for the rest of us down the road.
anon says
+1.
tartan b says
Agreed.
Anonanonanon says
Just adding another voice to team “come back for a few weeks then quit”
Anonymous says
Go back for a few weeks and then quit. It’s so unprofessional to not return at all because then people think you decided in advance but took the paid leave anyway. If you come back and then quit, you can say you intended to come back but it just wasn’t working out.
AnonQ says
My daughter’s bus comes ~ 8:45 putting me at work after 9. Thinking of asking a neighbor to take my kiddo to the bus stop twice a week so I can get to work earlier. It would probably be about an hour – drop off kiddo at neighbor’s house @ 7:45 and they’d be on the bus by 8:45. Regular hourly babysitting wage for this? What would be fair?
AwayEmily says
I would probably do $40 a week (ie a bit higher than average babysitting) just because it’s a kind of awkward time of day.
AnonQ says
Oops, I meant to say that this neighbor has a child who rides the same bus as mine, so she would be going to the bus stop anyway. Does that change your thinking? Just curious!
AwayEmily says
Yes…I think you could get away with $30 a week in that case. But I always err on the side of overpaying when it involves my neighbors (we have some neighbors who catsit as well as some who babysit) because I really, really want to avoid any resentment.
AnonQ says
Definitely! That’s my rule with daycare teachers (err on the high side) to preserve our long-term relationship. It makes sense with neighbors too. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Recommendations for noise-limiting headphones for a little kid? 1 year old, to be exact? Looking for ideas for travel.
childspacing says
Talk to me about the 24 months to 36 months age difference between kids. I’d like to veer closer to 24-28 months spacing if I can remotely plan it, but is there a big difference in having kids that are 2, 2.5, or 3 years apart? I’m worried it’ll be a lot more challenging the closer they are to 2 years apart.
Anonymous says
Mine are 23 months apart and they are now almost 1 and almost 3. I think it’s been great spacing. They’re super close and already “play” together a lot. Because my eldest is so young, they both enjoy similar books (toddler doesn’t mind Reading Brown Bear and can “help” me read to baby) and even toys (most of my toddlers’ toys are still big enough they aren’t choking hazards for a crawler).
Both kids are still in diapers, but I don’t think that’s really that bad. Shrug.
childspacing says
That sounds awesome, thank you so much. What about sleep? Are both of your kids good sleepers? I’m worried about getting up at night a bunch with two kids and seems like sleep issues even out around 3?
Anonymous says
My first is a horrid sleeper because we never trained him. I put my foot down with the second and trained her at six months and she’s a champ. I’m scared to move her into my sons room because I don’t want his bad habits to rub off on her! Fortunately, DH is in charge of my toddlers wakeups.
Anonymous says
Mine are a little less than 2 years, and it’s completely possible I’ve blocked the memories, but don’t think it was so bad having an infant and a 2 year old. Now that they’re 3 and 5, it’s good because they play well together and even if they’re in different levels or age groups for an activity like swim or gymnastics, the classes usually line up.
I’m not sure 3 year is a big enough age gap to negate any of that. The thing I’d worry about with infant and 3 year old, based on friends’ experience, is a backslide in potty training. All of this is a blip in the grand scheme of things, of course…
GCA says
Mine are currently 3 years and 3 weeks old. I feel like age 2.5 to 3.5 comes with its own special set of emotional challenges – such big emotions! such meltdowns! – which made my first and third trimesters pretty rough as I didn’t have much spare energy or mental capacity to parent effectively. Even now, I think #1 feels like he is being supplanted or abandoned in favor of his little sister. Oh, and he’s stopped napping on weekends…
On the plus side, he’s physically more independent than a 2-year-old would be; he’s been potty trained for a while, plays independently, and can verbalize his needs. Most activities like swim and dance classes are drop-off at this age, meaning I don’t have to be in the pool or the dance studio with him, so one parent can take both kids if need be and sit on the sidelines with the baby. So, there are pros and cons to whatever age gap you pick.
EB0220 says
My kids are 29 months apart. I think it was good spacing. When #2 was born, #1 was old enough to walk around and be sort of independent, more so than when she was just turning 2. On the flip side, she was still too young to be doing sports or going to a bunch of playdates, etc. like she does now that she’s 6. Older daughter potty trained when baby sis was about a month old so only a little time with 2 in diapers. Now they’re 4 and 6 and play together VERY well. They’ll be 2 years apart in school.
Delta Dawn says
Mine are 24 months apart– I think it’s great. They are now 8 months and 2 years 8 months. When the little one was born, the big one was still in diapers, could talk but had limited vocabulary, etc.; now at closer to 3, he is potty trained and can communicate/talk very effectively. The change in the oldest one from 24 months to now is really significant. So it’s hard the younger the first child is, but that changes quickly and doesn’t last long.
One caveat is that big bro is a champion sleeper, and has been most of his life, so I didn’t have to contend with dueling nighttime wakeups. I wouldn’t go back and do it differently, for what that’s worth. If I had a third, I would ideally hope for the same 24 month spacing.
Anonymous says
I have one of each. My kids are 2 months, 23 months and 4 years 10 months. Oldest was 2.9 when middle was born, middle was 23 months when youngest was born. My middle is my most challenging child so that may bias my response. Middle has always been a crap sleeper so I basically haven’t slept through the night since middle was born in 2016. Oldest and baby sometimes bunk together because middle yells herself to sleep, has loud mid night wakeups and screams when she wakes at the crack of dawn.
When middle was born, we’d been diaper-free for almost 9 months as oldest was potty trained by 2. We’d also been used to sleep- and babies that were good sleepers. Having a cr@p sleeper is hard no matter what.
I will say now though it’s getting easier. My two older ones play really well together. My toddler is super articulate. My oldest is amazing with the baby.
Anonymous says
Anyone have a recommendation for a pediatrician in DC/NoVa? I live in the Hill East area, so prefer something on the east side of the city or easily accessible in NoVa rather than NW DC, although I could do NW if it is closer to downtown rather than upper NW.
Even if you don’t have a recommendation for a specific ped, can you shed light on how I should be searching for one? I am the first in my friend group to have a kid so I am in the dark! I’m due in November.
S says
We have found this to be so hard! So no specific recs but just the heads up that several have waitlists (ridic I know!) so get on a list asap.
DC says
Also on Hill East. We go to Children’s on PA ave, they also have an office in foggy bottom.
https://childrenspeds.portalforpatients.com/portal/locationsandhours/capitol-hill/default.aspx
Anon in NOVA says
Hi! I work in healthcare (on the business side). This is a pretty reputable and well-regarded resource: https://www.washingtonian.com/best/doctors/
ABC says
Also, if you can get on Kaiser (it is almost open enrollment) we’ve had great experiences. You’ll be able to seamlessly call/email your ped, and there’s a nursing hotline that’s connected back to your ped/kid’s medical record that you can access 24/7. One portal for all kid’s records, making appointments, etc. They have a Capitol Hill center.
Anonanonanon says
^This. HUGE Kaiser fan. Being able to message my doctor from an app is so helpful, and the 24/7 advice line is invaluable. Also, Kaiser has 24/7 urgent care centers, so if they decide your child DOES need to be seen right then, you have somewhere to take them. Since you have to be referred to the urgent care by the nurse line, the wait isn’t terrible.
Being able to have a nurse tell you if something is a “go in right now” or a “wait until 8am” or “don’t worry about” probably is so helpeful.
Also, just to dispel myths I’ve heard about Kaiser, I’ve NEVER had an issue getting a referral for myself or my kids. And since it’s all one system, those referrals go MUCH faster than my experiences outside of the Kaiser system. I am on a very expensive, new-to-the-market biologic for an autoimmune disease. Kaiser let me START with that drug, because it has the least side effects/cancer risk. Most people I know with the same disease have to start with and “fail” the harsher, older, cheaper drugs before insurance will let them use this one.