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My hair is incredibly thick, and wavier in the back than the front. That combination makes it very time consuming to blowdry straight. However, I do find that like most things, the more time I put in, the better the results. If I don’t take the time needed, then it puffs back up and my hair ends up in a ponytail by the end of the day. I’ve always been fascinated by the clips they use on my hair when I get it cut and/or dried professionally. They hold my thick hair out of the way and they don’t leave a crease. These clips have 279 reviews at Sephora (almost all positive) and promise to do just that. They are $10 for 4. Hold it Together Blow Dry Clips This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 5.5.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Is it common for babies to have a lot of gas when they start solids? My 6 month old has typically been a great sleeper – for the last couple months she was sleeping 11-12 hours straight at night (before that, she’d wake to feed once or twice, but go right back down). Now she’s suddenly waking up about three hours after she goes to sleep (which is right around the time DH and I are going to bed) with what I’m pretty sure are gas pains. She wakes up SCREAMING, which is unusual for her – normally she wakes up happy and only fusses if we don’t get her promptly. So she wakes up super mad and crying and it takes us several hours and multiple milk feedings to settle her back to bed. Once we get her back down, she sleeps through til morning, but it’s really cut into our night. We’ve been giving her gas drops and they help a bit but not that much. We started solids a couple weeks ago, and this started happening shortly thereafter. We haven’t given her any stereotypically “gassy” foods – so far we’ve done pureed squash, oat ceareal, yogurt, avocado and unsweeted applesauce. I’m scared to move onto things like broccoli and beans if she’s having this much reaction to the more neutral foods. Any advice? Or reassurance this will get better on its own soon?
buffybot says
I don’t know about common, but we had the same experience with our son when he was about that age. We thought it was probably the transition to solids (gassy, more solid poop) mixed with teething. Typically a very good sleeper but we had some nights there of angry screaming.
What helped? The usual – gas drops (I don’t actually think they do much of anything, but the sweetness seems to distract, at least momentarily), bicycle legs, tummy massage, and a regimen of water and prune juice (since our babe seems to get constipated very easily). Once we established he was also teething, we gave him some baby Tylenol before bed for a couple of nights. At 8 months, it seems like it has gotten better – other than when we occasionally try a new food. And (this will out me if anyone knows us), my husband decided that what our son chiefly needed to fall asleep was an endless loop of “American Pie” by Don McClean. It worked, but I’m not sure even peaceful baby sleep is worth having that song stuck in your head for a month solid.
Anonymous says
Keep a food diary and you may be able to figure out which foods are triggers. One of my kids gets horrible gas with green peas but is not bothered by yellow peas or lentils.
Pogo says
Not sure if this helps, but we started solids at 4 or 5 months, which coincided with the 4 month sleep regression. I’m not sure if it was the solids or the regression but we did go through something similar and it did pass eventually.
With my guy the key is exactly 1 prune a day, no more no less. He LOVES it, so he gets his prune at the very end of dinner.
Anonymous says
Shortly after we started solids we had what I started to call Poop-magedon’s…. it resolved overtime. It wasn’t really linked to specific foods as far as I could figure out. (this alternated with bouts of constipation). I think it was his body catching up.
it went away after awhile. keeping fruit going seemed to help.
EB0220 says
April, we have the same hair!
ANP says
This is a great pick, something I’ve never considered purchasing but now want!
Anon says
+1
LadyNFS says
I have these and use them all the time. Love them!
Pogo says
I need to pick these up – I used something similar but I think I stepped on the clip and broke the plastic in half. Sectioning your hair is key to a good blow out.
scooters/age question says
Super easy one to start the week. There was some discussion last week about wheeled transport for the toddler crowd. My almost 2YO is (I think) ready for a scooter. He’s really interested in them, picks them up at the playground and tries to use them, etc. Should I buy the three wheeled Radio Flyer one I see everywhere or just buy the two wheeled micro mini and figure he’ll get used to it soon? Thanks!
Anon says
Ha, I’m the person who posted below. My kids have both had Micro Minis since around age 2 (we have double-divorced-grandparents who all want to get “big” toys) and they’ve loved them. They weren’t great at using them until closer to 3 though.
Anonymous says
Micro minis have 3 wheels
anonanon says
Oh sorry! I just meant the regular scooters, don’t know all the brands.
Anon2 says
My son was like this, too, so we got him a Micro Mini (three wheels) for his second birthday, thinking he’d *love* it. He did play with it some, but didn’t really get into it until a month before his third birthday. (For his third birthday we got him a balance bike, and he’s ridden on one or the other every day since). So you never know, some kids take to them right away and others are into the idea of them but would rather have you carry both them and the scooter! I tend to only get “big” things like that for special occasions, though, so maybe hold out til his birthday, potty training milestone, etc.
Sarabeth says
My younger kid has been using his Micro mini since 18 months. Before we bought it, he was constantly trying to use his older sibling’s, and often doing surprisingly well. We also had a hand-me-down Radio Flyer one, which I found absolutely useless. It’s just not well built enough to work well. Now, at just over 2, he can whiz around on the micro mini one like a pro. I’m sure it varies from kid to kid; our older child has always taken longer to get the hang of such things, and didn’t get truly comfortable on the scooter until close to 4. But I would 100% get the Micro mini.
ANP says
My two-year-old (now 3) looooves her Micro Mini although could not have ridden it for a long, sustained time right at age 2. Highly recommend these scooters though — her brother is now a (tall) 5-1/2 and still whizzes all over the neighborhood on his.
Anonymous says
PSA that they have a weight limit and the 5 year old may be over it. We waited to get our son was 6 to get a larger Micro and in hindsight, I think his frequent falls on the mini were related to the fact that he was too heavy for it – he kept pitching forward and face-planting. I have guilt in hindsight. If your son is having no problems please ignore me!
ElisaR says
we have the radio flyer one and 2 micro minis. The micro minis are wayyyyy better. The radio flyer one is good for standing on and not rolling at all…..
Anonymous says
I have these clips and they’re great. I did find much cheaper identical ones at Marshall’s, however. The only difference is the Sephora logo.
Anon says
My 5.5 year old has no interest in learning to ride her bike. She has a scooter (Micro Mini) and loves it, but refuses to touch her bike. She also has had a balance bike from the age of 2, and has never had any interest in that either. She was okay on tricycles at daycare but they were never her first pick, and half the time she just played in the dirt instead.
I need to make her learn this, right? How do I do that? Or do I lay off for a while and see if she wants to try again in the Spring? (And what if she refuses to learn then?) Am I missing some magical trick to making a bike appealing?
avocado says
I would wait until she is interested. Trying to teach an unmotivated or frustrated kid to ride a bike is unproductive torture for all parties. At some point there will likely be a Bike Day at day camp, after-school, Girl Scouts, etc. that will motivate her.
Anonymous says
This is probably not the best parenting move and YMMV, but somewhere along the way, someone in my family started showing my boys videos of this guy Danny Macaskill who does these cool stunt bike videos in interesting places (I’m sure there are lots of similar things on youtube). I don’t really want my kids imitating him, but it has inspired them to be interested in biking. The 5-year-old is very conservative by nature, and a bit dramatic when he gets hurt, so I was actually happy when he tells me he fell from his bike but didn’t cry because Danny Macaskill fell lots of times while he was practicing.
Pogo says
Ha, I know that guy’s videos. They’re insane.
I used to commute by bike so I was pretty into the sport, wore spandex and clipless pedals, etc. Whenever I would see a little girl struggling to learn to bike I would always tell her “It’s OK, I fall down all the time!” which is true.
Anonymous says
peer pressure!
Anonymous says
Yup. My almost 5 y/o liked to bike but refused to consider taking the training wheels off..until one of the neighborhood kids mentioned it at our block party in June. Super nice, not mean at all. he’s a year older and was just offering to teach her, telling her he learned last year and it wasn’t hard.
Apparently she just needed the seed planted bc then she was all about it when Dad suggested they practice practice practice and we even convinced her to take the training wheels off over the 4th of July. Now she’s totally solid on 2 wheels.
Anonymous says
Do you bike? Being able to go biking with mom or dad was a big motivator for our kids.
Anon says
No you don’t, why would you need to make a kid do an activity they aren’t into at age 5? I have a 10-year-old relative who is an amazing athlete in many sports, but can’t ride a bike. It doesn’t matter.
Anon says
Ok that came off harsher than I meant it ;) I’m giving you permission to not stress. Encourage it, but don’t force. Riding a bike is not a critical skill.
SC says
Wait until she’s interested. I had a scooter until I was in, probably, 3rd grade. I went all over the neighborhood and kept up with the kids on bikes, and I was happy with it. Then one day, I was at a friend’s house (in a different neighborhood) and everyone wanted to ride bikes, and of course I didn’t have my scooter with me. My friend’s mom taught me to ride a bike in about 5 minutes by putting me on it, pushing the bike down a hill, and yelling at me to pedal. (It was Florida, so I can’t imagine the hill was actually too steep or too high, and I was probably in no danger.)
anon says
NO, you don’t need to make her learn this. She will learn eventually, I promise. DS was 7 before he felt comfortable and ready to ride a bike. It wasn’t until he started seeing much younger kids riding around that he finally was motivated to push past his fears and learn. Don’t push your daughter to ride a scooter; it’s only going to put unnecessary pressure on her.
Anon says
Thanks everyone for the internet permission to not push this. I’m pretty laid back in everything so wondered if I was harming my kid by not forcing her to learn. I also haven’t signed her up for dance class or gymnastics or soccer or music lessons. I’ve basically let her have unstructured playtime any time she’s not at daycare but I’m starting to feel guilty as I talk to other families at the park/ at kindergarten who have their kids in 3 activities after school and 2 more on the weekends.
(And yes we bike a ton, but we have a trailer to haul the kids around. We don’t do family rides because she won’t get on a bike and the littlest can’t do more than a tricycle yet.)
Anonymous says
What about one of the bikes that attach to the parent’s bike to pull instead of letting her ride in the trailer?
Second all the comments to not stress.
Spirograph says
Trail along! Yes, I was wondering if I sleep-in one the OP’s post, because my 5 year old is scared of his bike. Loves scooters, bikes are terrifying. But he does really enjoy the trail-along behind dad’s bike. DH says it’s an extra core workout for him, because my son leans every which way when they’re riding, so he constantly has to correct to stay balanced!
Also, OP, there’s an article in NYT today about the AAP recommendation for more unstructured play, so I think you’re good on that front, too. :)
Samantha says
On the unstructured play – I am similar and did not put my kids in any activity for a looong time. Our neighbors kid (same age) was in piano, dance, ice skating, a whole bunch of other things and my son had a ton of unstructured playtime. He’s doing great and I feel like not much was accomplished in those early years of classes. It’s at least partly caregiving (with some activity thrown in to keep them engaged). They can start going to piano class at age 6 or 7 and never having been to gymboree music is not going to hold their music education back. Same with toddler art classes – yes, this is a thing in my area.
anon says
I posted a couple of months ago that DD was refusing her high chair. Lots of you suggested the tripp trapp chair which worked for a few weeks but she’s back to fighting us and pushing out from the table and refusing to eat. We also have a small kids table and have tried that but it doesn’t help. At daycare, I know she often stands while she eats but she isn’t interested in that at her small table either. Has anyone else dealt with this? Do I just hope it’s a phase and try to get in food in her where I can? She’s 20 mo and walked late due to delays so I wonder if this is partly because she just wants to walk and explore but it’s maddening.
SG says
We rotate between a booster seat and letting ours stand and eat in her learning tower. I follow some feeding therapists on insta (@ feedinglittles) and they recommend making sure her feet are supported and she has padding underneath her bum when sitting. It also helps my daughter if I sit with her and eat the same thing. Hope this helps.
Anonymous says
My kid just turned 2 and hasn’t been in a high chair or booster in months. Maybe 6 months? She was done with the high chair and dangerous on the booster. She just kneels on a chair. Not a fight I want to fight ;).
Anonymous says
Oh, and I know it’s late but my 2 y/o is my second and moths he and her older sister were terrible about sitting at the table around 2. They’d wander off all the time. Older one grew out of it. 2 y/o is showing slight signs of improvement.
avocado says
PSA to Rothys fans: they now offer the loafer in girls’ sizes, at a much lower price point than the adult styles. Mini-me is now rocking the camo loafers. They are so stinking adorable and go with just about everything, even shorts.
oil in houston says
thanks!
Patty Mayonnaise says
Thanks to encouragement from this awesome community, my husband, 1.5yr old and I are headed to The French Riviera this week! Any tips for plane travel or jet lag adjustment? Or anything specific to the area? We’re thinking of trying to keep toddler on east coast time so we can enjoy some dinners out! Thanks, ladies!
Anonymous says
So exciting! I posted earlier that you should consider that area. Where are you staying? Honestly, my almost-2-year-old did better with the time change than husband and I did.
Things we enjoyed (all in Nice):
Hiking to the top of the Colline du Chateau (we had our stroller and took the elevator, but note the time when the elevator closes for the night– we had to hike down because we missed the last ride down!). There is a playground at the top and incredible views.
Walking through Cours Saleya to buy the fruit, cheese and fish for our meals
Eating all the gelato
Great playground and splash park (err, fountains used as such) in the Promenade du Paillon
Renting beach chairs for a day at one of the private beaches. So nice to be off the rocks, have wait service. We got front row (a little extra $ but so worth it so we could watch kiddo throw rocks into the water. He did this for hours.)
Patty Mayonnaise says
Thank you! We’re staying a bit inland in Vence, but we’ll have a car and def plan to spend time in Nice!
NYCer says
St Paul de Vence is the cutest little town! Wander!
I highly recommend going to Cap d’Antibes and doing the walk that is right along the coast. I believe the starting point is at Plage de la Garoupe. There is a path.
A morning or afternoon in St Tropez could be fun to check out the fancy yachts and ritzy shops.
I also really like Villefranche-sur-Mer, Eze and Grasse.
anon says
My daughter is very shy – enjoys going to school but definitely prefers to be inside her comfort zone (she’s 3 1/2). Her teacher suggested signing her up for an after school activity with other kids from her class, which I did, but she has already decided she DOES NOT WANT to do this.
I feel like getting her to go out of her comfort zone for one class a week could be good for her, but I don’t want to push it. It’s also just a fun toddler gymnastics class so shouldn’t be much pressure. Advice on getting nervous kids to try new activities from your own experiences? If she tries it and hates it I’m happy to let her drop out, but I’d love to convince her to give it a go. So far my brainstorming bribes doesn’t seem to have worked…
Anon says
What motivates her? Think of a way to tie it into something she loves.
Would she like to help pick out a cool new leotard from Target? Would she want to watch kids doing gymnastics on YouTube (or videos of Simone Biles)? Would she want to watch the Dora gymnastics episode? Does she want to be a cheerleader or soccer player, and you can explain this is how to get her body strong for sports? Does she want to be Batgirl and this is how to get cool ninja moves? Is there an older friend or cousin who can show her cool moves like sommersaults and cartwheels? Does she like obstacle courses? If all of that fails, can she get her favorite snack or lunch after the class?
For everything, I tell my kids they have to try something before they can say no thank you. Try a bite of the broccoli to see if you still don’t like it. Get in the pool before you say you don’t want to swim. Go to the party and say hi to the person before we can leave. Etc. So even with lessons, they need to say hi to the teacher and try one thing before they decide if they want to go home. We do that a few times to give them a chance to keep trying, and then depending on the cost and if they begged for it, I do let them drop out.
CPA Lady says
My kid is similar. I have her in a ballet class where I can’t watch her. The ballet teacher comes out, lines up the girls, and walks them back into a studio for class and then walks them back out to us at the end. If I’m there watching (they have a parent observation class at the end of each quarter), she’s clinging to me like a barnacle, refusing to participate. If she’s in the class in the next room and can’t see me, she participates and has fun.
Could you ask the teacher if you two could sit together and observe the first class to see what happens, and then just take her, and drop her off the next time and leave quickly without a lot of drawn out anxiety and hoopla? Or could you go for free play time, if it’s a gymnastics gym that has that, just to get her used to the building? We’re having my kid’s bday party at a place she hasn’t been before, and I’m going to take her there at least once or twice before the party so she can get used to playing there.
I try to use the word “shy” as a feeling not a character trait. Because most of us feel shy in new settings at first, and that’s okay. I remind her that its normal that she feels shy at first but that once she gets used to something she has fun.
This is a great article on the topic:
https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/198-children-with-shy-or-slow-to-warm-up-temperaments
OP says
That article is so spot on, thanks for sharing! Especially the discussion of preferring to play with one or two good friends to a group setting – I’d never really equated the two, but that’s exactly how she is. And being silent in a class but super chatty with grandparents, etc.
I also try not to use the word “shy” around her because then she might try to live up to it, but, yeah, she’s a shy kid. I was too! But also agreed, it’s a feeling! I would still consider myself shy, and most of my friends would be shocked to hear that, because I still get that feeling!
Anonymous says
Talk to me about holiday travel with kids. Last year baby was 1 month so we just kept her home. Both of our families live a plane ride away, and everything is still at our grandparent level so we have FIVE family sides that have events we “need” to attend. I’m exhausted just thinking about it, and of course my MIL is pitching a fit about getting Christmas Eve, and nothing else will do at all. We don’t have many vacation days to burn on this and of course everything is crazy expensive around Thanksgiving/Christmas.
Part of me wants to just say we’re staying home again this year and people can come to us but I don’t think husband would go for it. He wants to appease his mom just because she gave him the major guilt trip about his grandma being old (but my remaining living grandparents are old too!) so she should get whatever she wants. UGH.
Anonymous says
We live near my parents and always visited DH’s family for two weeks at Christmas (8 hour plane travel). Post kids we travel to see them in the summer. Too many issues when flights were delayed or cancelled. I’m not rsiking spending the holidays at an airport hotel calling the airline to rebook. Traveling at the holidays with kids is the worst. And we only see my parents at church on Christmas eve and for supper on Christmas day. Christmas eve supper and Christmas morning are just for our little family.
Sarabeth says
Stay home. Just do it. Go see them all at another time of year. Holiday travel is miserable in the best of cases, kids make it way worse. Also, his mom sounds kind of terrible, so I wouldn’t be wanting to spend my Christmas Eve with her in any case.
Anonymous says
Go to one family for thanksgiving and the other for Christmas?
SC says
We don’t travel for the holidays, but my in-laws live in town, and we have the same dynamic with FIVE family gatherings. We had to cut back, not just on the total number of events (we’re down from 6 to 3) but expectations at each event.
We spend Christmas Eve with MIL, but we gave her a hard stop at 9 pm. (She used to say “dinner is at 5, but come early for 4,” actually serve at 6:30, and mange the stretch the night out until midnight). We have “Santa” at our house on Christmas morning but usually do one big present and a few small toys, so we’re done in about 15-20 minutes. We go to FIL’s house for breakfast, but we’ve moved the gift exchange at FIL’s house to another weekend in December, so it’s JUST breakfast. Then we go to a cousin’s house for lunch with extended family. Everyone is expected to bring a dish for that lunch, but we only to agree to bring something that can be prepared by someone else. We leave that gathering immediately after lunch, and we’re done. We spend the afternoon and evening at home with just our little family.
My parents come visit a few days later and stay through New Years, when we have more time.
Anon says
So we did this for the past Christmas. Like you, we’d missed the Christmas with my in-laws when my kid was a month old. Holy Hannah, it was a disaster. Both my husband and I agreed – we ain’t going back. It was freakin cold, hard to do anything, flights were as good as could be, but not great, the in-laws dumped present after present on my kid who got overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff. Honestly, I just wanted to be at home with our family. We’ve now agreed to come for two weeks in the summer (better weather, easier to play outside, everyone seems more relaxed, no gift expectation).
Anon says
We had 7 families to go to when our first (the first grandchild on 5 of the 7 sides) was born. We tried that first year to fit them all in between Thanksgiving and New Years, and it was exhausting. We tried to hit 4 houses on Christmas day, while bfeeding a newborn, and I had a mental breakdown. I declared that was it.
We limit it to seeing our 4 parents/step parent sets. We rotate Thanksgiving, one weekend in December, Christmas Eve, and New Years. Christmas day (the WHOLE DAY) is at home with just us. If we get guilt about seeing Great Aunt Ruby, then we say “Feel free to invite her when we’ll be at your house in December” or “Will she be there for Christmas Eve?”
Now that the kids are getting older and have things like school events and church plays, limiting the family insanity has helped us be able to actually enjoy the season.
(Ask me how to navigate the MOUNTAIN of toys that comes from 7 families and I am no help. I tried so hard to limit it, but it wasn’t until they got older (and their preferred toys got smaller and more expensive) that it started to die down. Our local goodwill got many baby/ toddler/ preschool toys over the years, let me tell you.)
Anonymous says
Personally, I think the family holiday boundary is a fight worth having. It will literally not kill anybody to celebrate two weeks before or after Christmas. And, I really really hate the whole “your grandma may die and if you’re not here on Christmas Eve you’ll regret it for the rest of your life!” argument. My MIL used it for at least 7 years.
My MIL used to be very hung up on THE DAY for all holiday events. Easter on Easter (she’s not religious), Christmas on Christmas, etc. Well, she as an adult woman in her 50’s and 60’s had to learn how to compromise her wants with (1) her adult children who now had a partner and a second family’s wants, and (2) her adult children + their SO’s wants, which might have been completely separate from the SO’s family.
In some ways I’m sympathetic to my MIL (and for that matter – my parents) because change is hard. You + DH as a nuclear family get to define what you want your (and your kid’s!) holiday season to look like. If that means having Christmas at home with your small immediate family and then travel 2 days later, then that’s what it is. If that means hosting Thanksgiving, that’s what it is. I get your DH feeling badly about it, but at the same time, I think it’s entirely reasonable to say, “Mom, we’re not going to navigate the worst of holiday travel with a 13 month old. Not to mention that it’s incredibly expensive. We will be staying home for Christmas and will visit [early December/Jan]”
Anon says
We alternated holidays pre-baby, but I always told my family that once we had a baby we would not be traveling. It is a little unfair to my family, as my in-laws are local, but I refuse to do the holiday hustle and bustle with babies. Maybe when the kids are older, but not now.
For Thanksgiving, we host and my in-laws are welcome to join if they want, if not, no harm, no foul (they always join, for better or worse). My family is also invited, but my sisters (single, no kids, live elsewhere) are too attached to the “family home” to come do the holidays at my house even though we have the space. My parents usually drive up with my sisters that Friday for the day (2-hour drive each way) to see us and the baby.
For Christmas we may or may not have my in-laws over in the evening for dinner, but morning is just our family. Christmas Eve we always go to an 11PM candelight service (just our family). We either visit my parents the weekend before Christmas or sometimes go down for my birthday and New Year’s for a few days after Christmas when traveling is not so crazy.
Pogo says
Honestly my dream is to say screw it and go take a vacation for the week instead of driving across the entire Northeast in a blizzard like we always end up doing. But that will never happen.
avocado says
We did this last year, and my husband declared it the best Christmas ever. Highly recommend.
Anonymous says
OP here – this is my dream too :) Alas, will never happen, the fury that would rain down upon us is not worth it.
Anonymous says
I’d like to plan on this in about 10 years when it makes more sense to do a family ski trip and when the Santa hype has died down.
SC says
When I was in college, my parents and I went to London for Christmas instead of visiting the extended family. It truly was the best Christmas ever.
Blueberries says
I am a big fan of prioritizing the happiness and needs of young children over grownups, especially for the holidays. My guess is that a newly minted toddler is not going to enjoy plane travel to go to the homes of a million relatives who have un-childproofed homes, particularly with parents who would rather be at home. Relatives who insist on such visits are probably not going to be understanding about a toddler schedule (meal, nap, play times) or normal toddler behavior, making the trip that much harder.
As for the “relative x may die and won’t you regret not coming,” the answer may just be “nope, no regret doing what made my kid happy.” Kid 2 was a newly minted toddler when we visited his cousins for Christmas instead of my terminally ill dad (who was recovering from surgery and didn’t ask us to come). I have absolutely no regrets doing what made my kids happy (letting them play with cousins) over trying to orchestrate a happy Christmas with an ill grandparent whose house wasn’t suitable at all for children, but also would have had trouble going to a vacation house/hotel. We visited my dad later, when he was in a facility, recovered from surgery (but still dying), without the crowds of the holidays.
lawsuited says
In your situation, I would celebrate the holidays as a family in your own home. You’ve already set a precedent to some extent by staying home last year, so I’d continue that trend rather than trying to get on the travelling-to-5-families hamster wheel. I would look at is as: you’ve already spent decades celebrating the holidays with your 5 families and you really don’t owe them every holiday season of your entire lives or your children’s entire lives. At some point you will want/need to stop travelling so that you can focus on your own family and your own family traditions, so start now. It would be gracious to invite whomever would desperately like to see you over the holidays to join you at your place if you want, but it’s not necessary. It would be nice to promise a visit at some other time of year, but again it’s not necessary.
My husband and I had to go through the blowup reaction to us not seeing his family on Christmas day the year after we got married. That year there were a lot of tearful phone calls and guilt-tripping emails and bla bla bla but everyone got used to it and it’s now a non-issue. Rip off the bandaid and enjoy Christmas with your husband and little one.
Anonymous says
What (if any) so you think is the optimal age to start daycare? I want my daughter with other kids by age 2 or so, but am debating nanny vs daycare before then. She’ll have a parent home with her until age 1 , so it’s really just 12-24 months that we need to decide about. Assume cost won’t be the deciding factor.
Anon in NYC says
I don’t have strong opinions about it – my daughter was in daycare at 4 months because that’s what worked for us. That said, I noticed an uptick in separation anxiety during the 15-18 month period. I also think that she started to “play” with other kids at around the 16/18 month mark. So I’d say, as a rough estimate, around 18 months or later would probably be the easiest transition period during that window.
avocado says
When will it be most convenient (or, really, least inconvenient) for you to deal with the constant illnesses that come with the first 1-2 years of day care?
Ms B says
An excellent point.
OP says
Doesn’t really matter – there’s no bad/good time for this, especially if it’s going to last ayear or more.
Anonymous says
I actually think it is easier with a baby that is no longer nursing exclusively – stuffy noses make it really hard to suck – and who is more verbal. In other words, at least a year old.
ElisaR says
Both my kids started at 5 months old. They never had separation anxiety with it because it was just normal to them. There is a 11 month old who just started in the baby room and she loses her mind every day at drop off because she isn’t used to it…..
Nanny benefits: you get house help and you don’t have to get kids out of the house and back in every day. It takes me 20 min it takes to unload all the bottles and food containers and STUFF from the daycare bags. I imagine w/ a nanny you come home and just go on with the evening stuff….
I get that you might not want to have a little baby in daycare but in my experience it’s the best way to go rather than starting with a nanny and then starting a whole new ballgame of daycare.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This was our experience with our first’s infant classroom as well – the kids who were home with grandparents or whoever and started daycare at around 1 year had a lot more intense crying at drop-off, which lasted for weeks. They eventually got used to it though, most kids do. In your situation, I’d say whenever they typically start kids in the toddler room (vs. the older infant room) would be a good time, as that’s one less transition to deal with. For us, our son started in young toddlers at around 15 months.
Anonymous says
I’m Canadian and expect you are too since you said a parent will be home for a year. We thought about this a lot with our first because our daycare didn’t take kids until 18 months. The issue was should we have a nanny just from 12-18 months or until just after age 2?
Either way it would have been fine, but we ended up going with a nanny/parent unt the septembwr after kiddo turned 2. It seemed like something really clicked between 18-24 months where she became really interested in socializing and on some days I felt bad that a nanny wasn’t “enough”. But we will likely repeat this timing exactly with kiddo #2 who is a few months old. I definitely couldn’t imagine keeping our now 3 year old home with a nanny past age 2 (and she is still in full time while I am on mat leave with #2).
OP says
Not Canadian but we have academic schedules and each get a semester off so between that and summer we have a year total. Daycares here take kids as young as 6 weeks, so that’s not a factor.
Anonymous says
I see. Just to clarify-Daycares here take infants as well just not as common. And very common here to start kids in daycare as 12 months- I would say most families do. Just our daycare which we preferred due to the fact that everyone speaks in our mother tongue doesn’t start until 18 months.
Anonymous says
I vote age 2. That the age when they start being more interested in play with/near other kids and having ‘friends’.
Having a nanny means that you don’t have to worry about doing kid laundry for the next year as the nanny can do laundry when kid is napping. That’s a huge benefit.
Lots of variability in the 12-24 month ages on how much kids want to nap and for how long. By 2 it’s more consistent. We had the nanny nap our oldest for much longer than daycare would have. That meant we got more playtime with baby in the evening because she didn’t need to go to bed until like 8:30pm.
Anonymous says
12-15 months- whenever the transition to toddler is. I started one at 12 weeks and one at 15 months (so she could start in toddler vs starting at 12 months and having to transition twice). My third maybor may not go to daycare at all, but we are waiting until 8 months no matter what. 8 months isn’t a magic number but it’s past the winter for us and I want to bypass winter germs if at all possible. My kids are ear infection magnets.
Potty Training says
So, I’ve come to terms with the idea that my daughter probably isn’t going to be one of those kids who wakes up one day and decides she is going to wear underwear and use the potty. And now that all of our summer travels are nearly over, it seems time to step up the potty training (as in put in actual effort beyond “Do you want to sit on your potty?”.) Kiddo recently took an interest in her BFF’s Mickey underwear at school. Kiddo is 2.5 (closer to 3). She sits on the potty 4 times per day at school and sometimes at home. She’s never actually gone at home, but has gone a couple times at school with no regular pattern that I can see. Any tips on potty training? At this point, I kind of refuse to devote all the time to reading a book about it. Maybe if I’m desperate down the road. Thanks!
oil in houston says
a friend gave me the ‘3 day potty training’ leaflet, it’s about 4 pages I think. Best use of 5mn ever. I followed it to a T, and in 2 days she was trained
Anon says
You can also read the 3 day overview on Lucie’s List website and get the gist in about an hour (including ordering your supplies – potty seat and undies and whatnot). One long weekend and you’re done.
I did it the weekend after Thanksgiving (half assed that Thursday night, started for real on Friday morning). We were good on pee and fairly good on poop by Sunday night. Sent to daycare the following Monday with 6 outfits, just in case. A couple accidents that week, by the weekend he was really good, and the following week was down to maybe 1 or 2 accidents the entire week. I don’t remember, but I know at least by Christmas he was fully day-trained and only having accidents if we went out somewhere and forgot to have him go before we left the house.
Emily S. says
I really liked “Potty Training in 3 days.” Succinct, useful, and it worked. It probably will take you an hour to read, and then you can skim/refer to the few pages you need when you are in the trenches. I think that leveraging her interest in BFF’s panties is probably a good start, too! Good luck!
App recs? says
What’s the best app to use to track newborn feedings, wet/poopy diapers, sleep habits, etc?
Anonymous says
I used the Glow app. I thought it was very good.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We used Baby Tracker – it has options for all of those. There’s even a timer for starting/stopping feedings, if you’d like to track the lengths of those. You can also enter in medicine taken, doctor visit info, and other metrics. My husband and I synced it across our phones, which was nice when one of us was out.
GCA says
+1 to Baby Tracker! Does precisely what it says on the tin, and I especially like the timer feature for those groggy middle-of-the-night feeds. What will you be using it for/ who will be using it? If it’s multiple caregivers, you’ll probably want something that syncs and/ or generates reports.
Anon says
BabyConnect. It costs a little money (or did a few years ago), but it works on both Apple and Android and you can have multiple caregivers assigned to the same kid. It was fairly intuitive and worked well for both bfeeding and bottles.
Anonymous says
I used a whiteboard in kiddo’s room! I’m so behind the times ;)
Anonymous says
Not trying to snark, but people really track this? I did at the hospital because they gave me that paper and told me to, and maybe until the 1 week pediatrician appt with my first baby, but I basically figured (and the pediatrician confirmed) that it wasn’t necessary unless there seemed to be a problem. If you’re feeding on demand and changing multiple pee and poo diapers throughout the day, does it really matter what time anything happened?
lawsuited says
We used Sprout and I really liked it, especially the reports it can generate for when we go to the paed. You can use it to track sleep, feeding, pumping, diapering, immunizations, doctor’s visits, the works.
Turtle says
Feed Baby
Stinky mom says
HELP!?
Has anyone experienced this: in the last 10 days (Friday a week ago to this AM) my little one has puked (like a lot) 7 times, 5 of the 7 have been in his car seat! (my lovely husband is getting really good at installing / uninstalling car seat). Some more facts:
– 13 months old
– Switched to the upright rear facing car seat about 1 week before the throw up started.
– he went “back” to daycare about 2 weeks before the puking started (pointing to a run of the mill toddlers sharing germs sickness)
– he was at the same daycare for 2.5 months from 8 months to 10.5 months before being home with dad for 2 months over the summer**
– some evening pukes / some morning
– teething pretty heavily
– went to the doctor on day 3 of puking – nothing remarkable in terms of symptoms
– no fever (at the time of any of the incidents)
– most recent incident was after 4 “healthy” days, including the weekend where he was finally back to normal in terms of an enthusiastic appetite!
– we have started putting a plastic bid overtop of car seat straps to protect it! (though that doesn’t help when he protectiles over the side!
– all car pukes have been 5-15 mins from home (our commute by car is only about 10 mins)
SOOOO – we are going to go back to the doctor, I *hope* it is just run of the mill daycare bugs and not somethimg more serious. In the meantime: help me if anyone has any tips for handling car trips – has anyone experienced this persistent problem in the car? Give him toys? don’t give him toys? drink water?? He can’t be manipulative enough yet to think that puking will get him out of daycare?
** hooray for Dad’s taking parental leave too!!
Betty says
Could it be motion sickness? On the off chance that motion sickness is playing into the situation: keep the car very cool, lots of airflow, encourage your kiddo to look out the window and not down at books or anything in the lap.
Anonymous says
+1 on the airflow. Our rearfacing toddler seats blocked the fans in a way that the infant seats didn’t and we had to work out how to keep kids cool in the back.
Anon in NYC says
+1. I’d seriously consider whether this is principally motion sickness. If so, you have my sympathies. My daughter has had fairly extreme motion sickness since about 4 weeks ago. We keep the car temp at arctic levels and blow air on her. We don’t feed her for about an hour before we get in the car. No snacks in the car, no screens once in the car. We did notice an improvement when we turned her to be forward facing, but check your local laws on that (it’s safest to keep them rear facing for as long as possible, and some states set minimums).
Anonymous says
My toddler gets motion sickness too. Agree on no food before you leave (we make a point of avoiding particularly gross-smelling food, like cheese, on the day of long car trips). We bought Sea Bands for him and while we’ve only used a few times, they do seem to help. Dramamine helps on long rides, too.
Sam says
My daughter also got motion sickness (one long road trip was torture! hours of crying, puking, multiple stops and starts and the same thing would happen again). The good news is it went away almost completely when she moved into the front facing carseat. She is nearly four now and can tell us when she feels sick (too bumpy! dont go down the hill daddy! I feel like I am falling down!) and it’s usually on curvy or mountainous roads, but looking out the front windscreen helps.
Anonymous says
I can’t imagine he’s puking intentionally so definitely not doing it to get out of daycare. Get the car seat install checked by a certified professional carseat tech – the non-bucket seat rearfacing installs can be tricky. Keep a food diary for a few days. Since the puking as happening at home as well, it might be a combination of motion sickness, food intolerance, and stomach flu.
Anonymous says
My kiddo would puke once in a while around that age. Usually in the morning before school (after nursing and then getting ready for school). We instituted a rule that if she didn’t throw up more than once, it wasn’t a contagious illness. She’d have no other symptoms but was definitely getting more adventurous at eating. My sister said my nephew did the same thing and they had a similar rule.
In House Lobbyist says
Unfortunately, this won’t help you because yours is still too young but I got the throw up bags on amazon like they give you at the doctor’s office. My husband made so much fun of me until we needed them one day and now they are in all cars – including grandparents!
Anonymous says
Ziplocs are great for this, too. My mom carried them and stashed them everywhere when she went through chemo and it stuck!
Turtle says
Resident Hot Mess of a New Mom Here! Your advice to date has been so so helpful. I’m most appreciative.
DD is 4 mos tomorrow. The transition back to work hasn’t been great, and pumping is making it way worse. She deserves a sane and happy mom, and switching to formula is going to help me get there. In a perfect world, I’d love to combofeed but I already struggle to keep up with her demand. I think just going 100% formula is probably best for everyone.
I can’t decide on what type. When to do it. How to do it. How much. How often. It goes on. I have a lot of time during her feeds to google these questions, and always end up somehow on a mommy forum telling me I’m Satan for considering this. Sooo, that’s got to stop. Tips?
PS: We have a stash of Enfamil NeuroPro pre-mixed from when she needed it to clear her jaundice in her first week. I’ve also gathered that a gradual transition is best – maybe replace 1 feed every 2-3 days with a formula bottle is the way to go. Feel free to opine.
ElisaR says
I decided pumping wasn’t for me so as soon as I went back to work the baby got formula. I used Similac because it seemed to be the brand leader and my doctor said either Similac or Enfamil and so I just went with the first one. My baby wasn’t at all discerning and took it right from the start. I continued to feed morning (middle of the night) and night for a few months and then ended that at 7 months.
I would just see how she does with a bottle of formula. If it doesn’t go down well then maybe mix it w/ b-milk half and half. But I didn’t bother doing that – just went right to it.
Enjoy getting to feel a little more like yourself again!
ElisaR says
I meant to say I continued to br**st feed morning (middle of the night) and night for a few months.
Anon says
You are not Satan for considering your sanity. Not that my opinion should matter, but I 100% support your decision to implement formula (and if it matters, but it shouldn’t, that is coming from a BFing mother).
You might also consider (if you otherwise enjoy BFing and it is going well), just nursing at morning and night. We did that for months 9-13 and not having to pump made my life so much better. My supply kept up until this last week (we’re trying to wean, unsuccessfully) when we dropped from 2-3 sessions a day (plus more on weekends) to 0-2 sessions a day (consistent on weekends). If BFing is not going well and you want to switch to 100% formula, more power to you, and I think you’ll end up with a happy and health baby with a much saner mama.
Gradual transition is probably best, but your baby will probably also be fine cold turkey if you just can’t stand it any more (mine had a cold-turkey temporary switch at 6 weeks because I had emergency surgery and didn’t have a stash). My LO had a lot of trouble taking cold bottles when she was used to getting it warm right from the tap, but did fine with very warm bottles although I couldn’t give them to her at first (her dad had to). Also keep an eye out for constipation – it will likely resolve within a week or two, but we had to add in some pear juice because my LO got so backed up from the first formula we tried.
CCLA says
I switched to exclusively formula fed for my sanity at like 3 weeks (trouble producing, and the BF/syringe feed/pump cycle was making my a crazy person who resented my kid). 2-3 days sounds super slow for transition, you can probably go more quickly, esp if your kiddo takes to it easily. You’re not satan! And I hope the switch brings you as much peace as it brought me – was 100% the right choice and I’m convinced I was a better parent because of it.
You can’t really go wrong with one brand vs another unless there’s an allergy or sensitivity; they’re all regulated. We liked using the ready to feed enfamil because it was easy, but if you go powdered consider the Dr Brown’s pitcher so you can mix a day’s worth at once. When we did switch formulas due to suspected dairy sensitivity, we were advised it takes a week or two to see how it’s working, so if you try multiple, give each some time before making a verdict.
mascot says
We loved the Costco (Kirkland) formula and used the pitcher to mix batches. Powder is cheaper than ready to feed and with the single serve powder sticks, travel is easy too. Formula is very regulated and the generics are just as nutritious so don’t feel bad about saving some money on a store brand.
SG says
+100000
Anonymous says
I did the same. I used the Dr. Brown pitcher.
Anon says
Wirecutter (NYT) rated Kirkland Formula the best. And it’s the cheapest. And you can get it even if you’re not a Costco member for a 5% non-member surcharge, and you can buy it online and it ships to your house for free.
Everlong says
You’re awesome! I switched to formula at 4 months with my first and it was such a relief. I mixed 1/2 BM and 1/2 formula at first but the transition was smooth. Baby was not discerning. Like Elisa, I was told Similac or Enfamil and also went with Similac. I recommend just starting with an off-brand version if you have one available to you. I paid full price for the Similac with my first because I felt guilty. With my second, we bought the equivalent warehouse brand and baby is just fine. You are a great mom!
Pigpen's Mama says
Good for you for making a decision to help your sanity (I made the same choice after a month or two pumping. It was tough at first, but a week or so into it everything was better — I combo-fed for a little while, but stopped fairly soon after when it stopped working for us).
I’d just try what you have, possibly with a 50/50 mix, and then only experiment if that doesn’t work. I also started out at room temperature. We got lucky and she took to it like a champ.
I stressed about the formula choice, but ended up with Simlac (because we had a sample from the hospital and they had single serving packets) and Earth’s Best (because I bought into the organic hype for once in my life). Kiddo had no problem with either, probably would have been fine with anything.
Pigpen's Mama says
And +1 on the Dr. Brown’s mixer mentioned above.
Anonymous says
With my first, we stopped nursing at 1 month and spent the next month gradually going from all bmilk bottles to all formula bottles– but only because I needed to taper down the pumping gradually to avoid pain/blocked ducts. Kid would have been fine with a quick transition. At 4 months you may have a different experience re: how quickly you can actually stop pumping/nursing. I lived bottle feeding! You can look in baby’s eyes! Your partner can feed the baby! We did find the “how much” question tricky, as well as the “how to calm baby without nursing.”. Our pediatrician didn’t initially volunteer info on formally feeding but was always able to answer questions if we called. We were given a max no. of ounces per day that always seemed too low for our baby – 32 I think? He gained a TON of percentile points when he started solid food so I’ll always wonder if he got enough formula. We compared ingredients and went with target brand formula– never had any issues with it. Currently very ambivalently bfeeding my second and contemplating when we’ll make the transition- definitely not planning to pump at work .
Anonymous says
You are not Satan!
I’m surprised at all the responses saying “my doctor said __ brand.” As I understand it, nutritionally all formulas are the same. I highly recommend trying the Kirkland formula. It is manufactured by one of the big brands (I forgot who) and you will literally save hundreds of dollars. Worth getting a Costco membership just for the formula if your kiddo tolerated it.
As for mixing, the best advice I received was to try and see if kiddo will accept room temperature formula. Then all you need to do is add powder to room temp water and mix. No pre mixing, no heating, and really easy when you are out of the house (just have a bottle with the right amount of water in it and then add the powder formula which has already been pre measured and shake!)
Anonymous says
Or even cold formula.
Anonymous says
Going straight to 100% formula will be hard on your breasts. I would just wean down your pumping sessions gradually, replacing the pumping with formula. Is there a reason you don’t want to nurse morning and night? No judgment if you want to stop, but this is an easy way to continue giving the baby the benefits of b-milk without having to mess with a pump. “Combo feeding” sounds complicated, but it has come very naturally to us and our daughter goes back and forth from formula to milk (either bottle or breast) very smoothly.
I went back to work at 4 months. For about a month I was able to pump enough for her, but starting when she was 5 months old she got 1 formula bottle per day as well as 2 pumped bottles (and nursing morning, night & weekends). Now she’s 7 months and is usually drinking some formula in the evenings as well because my breasts aren’t full enough then, and she’s been very slow to take to solids. Our pediatrician wants her off formula and onto more solids, but I don’t want to force her to eat something that makes her unhappy and she haaaates solids.
We use ready-to-feed formula because it’s easier and we aren’t using very much of it so it’s not that expensive. We use Similac. Baby has a lot of digestive issues and gas, but doesn’t seem to react to the formula (we did supplement very early though, so her digestive system may have gotten used to it when she was very young).
lawsuited says
Most importantly, you’re a great mom and your baby will be fine.
Re: what type of formula. When I first introduced formula I used Enfamil Gentlease because LO was gassy/colicky so I figured I would just start with the gentlest stuff rather than second-guess the type of formula if the transition was rocky. After he’d been drinking 100% formula for about 2 months we transitioned him to Kirkland formula which is the best deal going.
Re: how to transition: Our LO was already drinking mostly 4 oz bottles of bmilk while I was at work so we kept the same bottle amount and bottle schedule. During the transition we made up his bottles with 1 oz formula/3 oz bmilk for a week, then we did 2 oz formula/2 oz bmilk for a week, then we tried to give him 3 oz formula/1 oz bmilk and he refused so we did half-and-half for another week, then successfully did 3oz/formula/1oz bmilk for a week, then 100% formula.
Re: when to start. If your LO is already taking a bottle well, start the transition tomorrow. If your LO has not had a bottle yet, I’d get her used to bmilk in a bottle so that you’re not changing how you’re feeding her and what you’re feeding her all at the same time.
BigLaw Sr Assoc says
I can’t remember all the logistics because it has been a few years, but I made this same choice and zero regrets. It was hard for me to have a demanding job and breastfeed – finding time to pump was hard, and then getting home early enough to feed my kids was hard. It got to the point that my husband had to come to my office to pick up b-milk, sometimes several times a day. I also ended up being at work longer due to all the pumping time. It just wasn’t sustainable. I also had other b-feeding issues, but this was a huge one.
Emily S. says
From a supplementing mama — let the guilt go. I exclusively BFd my first for 14 months, but started supplementing with my 2nd around 6 months — because pumping 5 times a day was just not my jam. I used up the Similac samples that I had and then bought one can each of Similac and Target brand; I don’t think DD could tell the difference. (Side note, my ped said all brands of formula are the same, so buy what you want, even the cheapest.) We did one formula feed per day for a month or so, then 2 formula feeds, and then 3, so that by the end of 3 months or so, she was nursing morning and night and once a day on the weekends. Dropping each pump was so satisfying. Seriously, friend, quit the forums and repeat “fed is best,” and then revel in your newfound spare time not attached to a pump. Good luck with the transition!
lalala says
Agreed with the others, do what works for you. We transitioned around 6/7 months and it took awhile because my daughter had intolerance to certain foods (mainly dairy). We ended up using a European formula (HIPAA, although I’ve heard Holle is also good). They have hypo-allergenic and regular formulas. It’s more expensive but seemed to work best for us.
Small Baby Mum says
Happy to say I have a happy health 9 month old (everything seems great, waiting for bloodwork), and I understand what a blessing that is. However, my baby is SO low on the growth curves. In fact, baby has always been so low weight, he is OFF the weight curve, and just now is ON the curve. Part of this I attribute to him being very, very active for his age. Doctor doesn’t see any flags and says he’s growing great, DH doesn’t care, but I don’t know why it bothers me? DH is tall – 6’3″ and I’m 5’5″, both on the average to skinny side, so wondering why baby isn’t “longer” if not chubbier. Anyone had smaller babies that eventually “caught up”?
Anon says
My two and a half year old hasn’t been on the curve for over two years. DH and I are both average sized. Doctors never found any cause for it and I have mostly given up worrying about it! Occasionally someone will comment on how small he is when we are out in public, but it has been one hundred percent a non-issue. Our pediatrician says he may always be small or may hit a growth spurt at some point. There is no way to tell. For awhile, our doctor was running all sorts of tests, so I have just focused on being grateful he’s healthy rather than worrying about something I can’t control.
Anonymous says
I’m not a doctor, but my ped emphasizes that milestones are way more important than size. She thinks doctors are too quick to diagnose “failure to thrive” and it should be a more holistic thing that looks at baby’s behavior. Fwiw, my BFF has a son that’s always been tracking under the 5% curve and he’s the sweetest, brightest little boy I’ve ever met!
DLC says
My daughter was not on the chart for a while, but she is now the tallest child in kindergarten- she was about two when she hit median height. On the other hand, my niece has always been super low on the charts, but consistently so, and her height and weight have always grown proportionally. My nice is now 4 years old and still very low on the chart, but none of her pediatricians have flagged it as worrying, despite my SIL asking repeatedly. It is hard when they have these charts, which are supposed to be some sort of standard, and people are always asking and comparing your kid’/ weight, but I think, these standards are really somewhat arbitrary. People come in all different sizes- and they will grow into all different sizes. It is not a reflection on you as a mom.
OP says
Thanks y’all. I know the facts but it helps to hear it from others. :)
Anon in NYC says
Yes, this. There is always somebody off the charts, whether it’s because they’re small or they’re big. A friend had a child who was off the charts on the larger side from birth, and had a pediatrician tell her to stop feeding her kid carbs.
But really, so long as your kid is growing along their own curve and is otherwise healthy, he’s doing okay!
Anonymous says
Every pediatrician we’ve seen (one group in our old town where we saw 2 docs in the practice and our new group at our new town which is affiliated with a teaching hospital, so various docs rotate through from time to time) has said that it isn’t important where they’re at on the curve as compared to other children…what is important is their own curve. If you child has gone from being off the curve to now on, then it sounds like he is growing quite well. My kiddo was born around 50% and then firmly cemented herself under 15% around 1 month. It caused me a lot of unnecessary stress.
Anonymous says
This. One of mine was born 85% weight 98% height and for the first 2-3 months dropped and dropped. She landed at 40% weight 55% height and has pretty much been there ever since (she’s 4). Her older sister was born about the same size and is 80th for weight and 95% for height at 7 and always has been.
But for those first few months I was freaking out- we’d go for weigh ins every week or every other eeek and she’d be flat!
June says
My baby was a preemie and at discharge, after being on a feeding tube, I think his weight was 8-10 percentile. After being home and having breastfeeding issues he was off the weight curve for a bit, but never lost weight. Then we supplemented with high calorie formula and I switched to exclusively pumping to measure all his food. With that he got back to like 1 percentile at around 4 months.
I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months. He started solids at 6 months and eats like a champ. He is now 12 percentile for weight at one year. However, his length percentile has gone down, he went from 50 to 25. I honestly just think he goes through phases where he gains length and phases where he gains weight.
So yes my baby was off the weight chart but has somewhat caught up. If your doctor says he’s fine you shouldn’t worry. While I was breastfeeding it bothered me too, but once I started EPing and using formula there was no question that he was getting enough to eat, it’s just the way he’s built.
Patty Mayonnaise says
Thank you! We’re actually renting a house a little inland – near Vence, but will have a rental car. We plan to spend lots of time in Nice though!!
Anonymous says
Click “desktop version” at the bottom of the page.
Anonymous says
In reply to your comment about not threading.
Patty Mayonnaise says
Thank you!!!!!!
Patty Mayonnaise says
Shoot this was a response to discussion above – I always seem to have a threading issue from my phone…
Holidays says
The question above got me thinking. To what extent do holidays function as an obligation to see family and to what extent should they be a day to be enjoyed? Those things shouldn’t me mutually exclusive, but in many cases they are. It seems crazy that people have to choose and that there are so many hurt feelings. And the media seems to portray holidays as family time, but what if you have a strained relationship with your family? Or you just don’t particularly enjoy hanging out with them? Are you obligated to?
Anonymous says
We stay home. It would be our choice no matter what, but we definitely benefitted from older siblings who paved the way on this front. Our parents rotate between visiting one set of kids, their own parents, staying home, etc. They really just play it by ear and seem to enjoy the freedom to make their own plans. Often we pick a different weekend to gather as larger families or whatever. It works well.
Anon says
Your parents are good people and probably enjoy their lives very much. I want to be like them when I grow up :)
Anonymous says
Me too!!! I felt guilty at first, but then I realized that spouses are family, too. Hubby and I would be just fine having a special holiday ourselves because we have each other. We’re fortunate that our parents are all married and have that, too. Yes, it is different for them than before all the grandchildren came into the picture, but different doesn’t mean bad. And we’re very fortunate that they’re really great about visiting that time of year and understanding that they have more free time than us.
Family says
I feel like the consensus here is going to be they are an obligation to see family, regardless of your enjoyment of them. I don’t subscribe to my consensus, and neither does my husband. Our families are very unpleasant, and spending time with them over the holidays guarantees our holidays will be ruined (and more like me crying in the bathroom and him yelling at people), so we do our own thing and actually enjoy them.
Anon says
My extended family picks an off weekend (usually the weekend before) to celebrate. Everyone can be there and nobody is irritated about it.
SC says
I wouldn’t feel an obligation to visit family members who were unpleasant or with whom I had a strained relationship.
DH and I are fortunate to have very good relationships with both of our families, including extended families. They do a lot for us throughout the year. We enjoy spending time with them. Sometimes the holidays can feel like a hassle and a whirlwind, but I feel an obligation to suck it up and show up to events that are important to specific family members (within limits). Also, we end up enjoying the holiday, even if we’re tired afterwards. If we had a terrible time even once we arrived, we wouldn’t go.
Vacay Quandary says
DH and I have booked a quick trip to Italy, just us. Baby will be 10 months at the time. My lovely Mom who is traveling to stay at our place take care of him while we’re out, and the week we’re back and getting back into the groove. Still BFing, so planning to pump-and-dump while we’re traveling but also open to the fact he may not nurse when we return because he’s on the older side. Wanted to thank all the ladies on this thread who helped the pros/cons of taking or leaving baby behind and threw in advice on BF logistics. I’m definitely nervous, anxious, and excited!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Enjoy! You are going to love it!! I found that I appreciate our couples-only vacation time a lot more now that we have a kid because it’s so out of the ordinary and relaxing. 10 months is a great age for your mom too, because he’s at adorable baby level, without the constant running around and emotional highs and lows of toddlerhood.
BPS says
Thank you! I think I will, too once I get past the anxiety (e.g. Did my mom lock the door/turn off stove/not drop baby?! hahaha). As a good gf told me, there is “vacation” and there are “trips”. The latter is what we take as a family (until children are of a certain age and are better at self-entertaining). “Vacation” is with spouse or friends, and is sacrosanct :)
Anonymous says
I agree trips and vacation are not the same, but you can definitely take “vacations” with kids! We’ve done some super relaxing trips with our baby/toddler. You just have to adjust your mindset, so that you think vacation is reading and hanging by the pool, not visiting 3 museums in one day. Bringing grandparents with you is also a good way to relax more on vacation – you can hang with the baby during the day, then they can take him at night once in a while so you and DH can have a date!
BPS says
Oh, totally agree. To your point, for us, I think a vacay with Kiddo would involve us renting a gorgeous home near a lovely body of water, and going on hikes, venturing into the local town for lunch, etc.
Nursing woes says
I just left a long comment accidentally on the main page that’s probably in moderation but the long and short of it is nursing has been a disaster for my 7 week old who can’t seem to manage an effective latch despite multiple trips to the LC, a tongue tie revision and even using nipple shields. I pumped for weeks to keep up my supply and am now doing a mix of formula and nursing, but wonder if it’s worth the hassle at this point. I’m so tired of fighting with my baby, the sore boobs, and if I have to look at the pump one more time I might throw it out the window. I know deep down she’ll be fine on formula, I just can’t seem to let go after all this …. any advice? Commiseration? Tips for fully transitioning to formula without causing clogged ducts or worse?
Anon says
Sending you some love. I had a tongue tied baby and those first months of BF (yes, even after it was corrected) were agony because I always felt like I was doing something wrong. Hindsight being 20/20 and all — I still look back on my mat leave as a terribly stressful and isolating time (for the most part) because of the BF/Pumping schedule I was on. My advice is BE NICE TO YOURSELF. You can always combo feed if you still want to maintain the BF relationship. Or nurse and supplement with Formula. Or switch to formula completely. Do whatever you need to enjoy your baby.
Anon says
Also, what do you mean by “Don’t make enough?” Asking because most women I know (including me) pump 3-5 ounce a session when baby isn’t nursing (like when at work, or after a missed feed), but I know some friends who thought they should be pumping 8+ ounces and thought it wasn’t “enough” when really they were fine, and it takes about 3 months for supply to regulate (either go down or up) accordingly.
Anonymous says
Sending you more love. I did not make enough at all and took domperidone and fenugreek and pumped after every session and combo fed and clipped the tongue tie and did literally everything humanly possible and I totally regret it. It made me a basket case. Think about what truly makes you happy and do that.
Anonymous says
Not sure if you’ll check back here so I may post again on the new threadzzzbut I’m on my third baby. I cannot believe the pressure to BF, even as compared to when I had my first 6 years ago. Mine have all been combo fed. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten wiser or lazier as I’ve had more kids but with #3 I Just Said No to pumping at work. I nurse morning and night and she is happily formula fed during the day. I have a pump at work and I’d say 3x/week I use it because I’m uncomfortable- I bag the milk and bring it home if it’s convenient. And if not, I dump it. I travel and with my first, I pumped while traveling frequently. I schlepped milk across the county for an entire year. Partly, I felt guilty because she went into daycare at 11 weeks and I travelled a lot. In hindsight, it was great bonding time for her and DH. I had a constantly low supply and even though baby slept trough the night at 6 weeks, I was waking up in the middle of the night to pump until ~7 months (insanity!!!do not do this!!). Somewhere around 6 months we strarted to combo feed. I stopped BFing at 9 months when she started putting up a struggle.
My second, I pumped because I felt guilty that she was the second. She fought it constantly. I was ready to quit at 6 months but she kinda protested when I tried to give her formula so I gave up (this is dumb!! She is a baby!! In hindsight I should have just been a little more stubborn!). At 10 months we switched to whole milk vs formula because we were both done nursing and the ped ok’d It.
All this to say…all the hoopla around breast milk makes me crazy. Formula is fine!! I cannot believe how much of my precious sleep And already limited brainpower I wasted trying to boost my supply when formula is a perfect supplement. And I blame my (former) ped for not pointing this out to me. My new ped looked at me like I had three heads when I started telling her about all the hoops I jumped through with my first. “You know this is exactly why formula exists, right?! Do whatever maximizes sleep for you and the baby. For some people that’s nursing. For some people that’s formula.”
anon says
Luckily, our families are mostly reasonable people. When our first kid was born, 9 years ago, we told everyone that we weren’t going to try to see both families on the holiday. While technically possible, we had spent some miserable holidays driving from house to house and feeling like we were shortchanging everyone, not to mention we weren’t having much fun even though we like our families (generally). So, we started alternating. If we spend Thanksgiving Day with my family, for example, DH’s family gets Christmas Day. The “other side” of the family picks an alternate day to celebrate, usually the weekend before or the weekend after.
And, I refuse to spend Christmas morning anywhere but in my own home, and thankfully DH agrees.
Anonymous says
I am slowly losing my mind. I am a partner at a law firm; I am the president of my kid’s PTA; I am renovating my house. I am clearly way overcommitted. I try to delegate everything and have a thick skin, but there are some mornings (like today!) when I just feel like I have all these balls in the air and all of them are dropping. I don’t think I’m looking for life advice – but if you have tips on how to get through these periods where everything is haywire, I would totally appreciate it. And yes, I am throwing money at the problems.
shortperson says
exit the PTA duties as quickly as you can.
anon says
My advice is to triage the situation and tackle the most important stuff first. The rest can wait, or doesn’t have to happen. And work in blocks — like set aside 45 minutes to deal with PTA stuff, instead of bouncing from work to home reno tasks to PTA. Easier said than done, but all this is much harder when your mind is all over the place.
This too shall pass!
IVF and work travel says
Any advice for traveling while going through IVF? I travel frequently for work, and while i know there are times i need to be in town for tests/monitoring, i’ll also have occasional overnights away requiring plane travel. Best tips for traveling with injectible meds?
IVF Pro says
I just completed a FET while traveling for work. Just be sure to carry all meds/syringes in your carry-on bag, and have a doctor’s note with you in case TSA asks questions. (I never got any.) You should also practice ahead of time giving yourself shots, especially the intramuscular ones, so it’s not a big deal when you have to administer a shot, say, in an airport bathroom. Good luck—you can do this.