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Business travel is back! Now I need to restock my travel toiletries.
I just ordered Drybar’s travel-sized 2-in-1 detangler and heat protector. This lightweight spray works on all hair types and textures. In addition to shielding your hair from heat styling tools (up to 450 degrees), it contains biotin, vitamins B and C, and sea berry oil to nourish and moisturize your hair.
In addition to the original formula, there’s also a “coconut colada” scent for those craving a tropical vibe.
Drybar’s Prep Rally Prime & Prep Detangler is $14 for a mini size at Sephora. The full size is $26.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
While we’re talking hair tools, I just got a brush blow dryer (the hot tools one) and it works pretty well! I didn’t get quite as smooth a blow out as I would with a hair dryer and round brush, but I found it a lot easier to do since you only need one hand, so I think I’ll be more likely to use it on busy mornings (rather than give up and throw my damp hair into a bun). I also tried the Kenra blowdry spray, but I think I like the IGK Good Behavior spray better — gave shinier results.
Cb says
I bought the Tangle Teazer for curly hair and it has changed my life. I condition, let the conditioner set for a minute or two, and then run the brush through and it gets out all the snarls with no pulling.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 for Tangle Teezer (thanks to a Forever 35 recommendation). I have fine, curly hair and this has been a game changer, far better than the excellent WetDry brush.
Clementine says
I love mine to make my hair look decent when I let my hair air dry the night before.
Clementine says
Toddlers, man.
The new random thing I need to keep locked up? Toilet brushes. I mean. At least I’m working on teaching her that they’re yucky, so I get one carried over to me, swung around and somebody repeats ‘YUCKY! Yucky!’ As she swings it.
What weird parenting things have you had to do lately?
anonM says
We’ve gone through stages where I’d only leave out a few squares of TP at a time because otherwise one of them would throw the whole roll into the toilet. So. Gross.
Anon says
I swear my son finds the nastiest things in the house to obsess over. Toilet brush. Garbage cans. Hair drain covers.
He also eats dog kibble every chance he gets. When we are dumping the food, he will run over to the latched container, open it and grab a handful.
Cb says
Oh no! I had to explain to my son that yes, his bum will hurt the day after getting on his bike after a break, my bum hurt too, and we just needed to power through and get to nursery. Slowest mile I’ve ever logged on Strava but we made it.
NLD in NYC says
Toilet brush swinging?! Yuck. Now I’m more grateful for DS’s epic meltdown this morning lol. Sigh, toddlers. It gets better, right?…Right?
Spirograph says
Not gross, but I had to tell my 5 year old not to put his foot in the terrarium with the cacti. (This was *very* intentional, he had to point his toes to even get his foot in there because the mouth of the jar isn’t very wide. “I wanted to see what would happen!!!!”) Of course, he had kind of already figured that out by that point, seeing as how I’d just pulled 2 cactus spines out of his toe amidst much screaming.
Yuck says
Thank you for the reminder that I need to hide our toilet brushes too! I keep forgetting to do it when LO isn’t home.
anon says
Mine loves throwing toothbrushes into the toilet. Putting dogfood into the front-load washing machine. Finger painting with poopy diapers. Running directly into the street at every opportunity. Coloring the dog with markers. She’s delightful, but man – I’m exhausted.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My 16 month old loves trying to grab the toilet brush while in the bath. Other hobbies include throwing everything he can get his hands on (especially food, sippy cup, and once almost the sh*t in the tub once he decided to #2 during bath time). And he’s 100% drank water out of the dog’s bowl and tried to eat dog food. He’s not walking yet…but oh does he love crawling up the stairs…
Birth order stereotypes can be real, y’all.
Anonymous says
Comments are disappearing again
anon says
We’re headed to Disney World this weekend for a short trip. Any tips from those who’ve gone post-pandemic? I hear that the parks have been crowded, but am not sure what to expect. I have a very very excited 6 and 8.5 yo, plus a husband who has no patience for crowds, lines or heat.
Anon says
Can you leave the husband home? Joking in earnest. No patience for crowds, lines or heat does not sound like a recipe for a successful trip to Disney.
Anonymous says
This, for real.
Anonymous says
This was my first thought too.
anon says
I know, I know. He considers it my job to fix the lines, crowds and heat. I’ve stocked up on cooling towels and portable fans. We’ll do our best to avoid the worst crowds (e.g., exiting fireworks) and use Genie+ as best be can.
Anonymous says
Well doesn’t he sound like a peach.
anon says
Only at theme parks.
Anon says
Does he actually want to go? I think it might seriously be less stressful to leave him home, especially given that your kids are not babies or toddlers.
anon says
Yes, he absolutely wants to be there. He will grumble a bit but isn’t that bad. He didn’t grow up doing theme parks, so it’s all out of his comfort zone. It’s not that different than me grumbling when he takes us on a multiday backpacking trip in the mountains (with a preschooler and 7 yo).
Jolene says
Have you gotten dining reservations? Sit down restaurant reservations will (1) get you out of the heat and (2) make sure your crew isn’t hangry.
Anonymous says
Truly is there any other kind of husband
Anotheranon says
I think I am a husband.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
THIS! BAHAHAHAHHA
Anon says
Ugh. No one likes crowds, lines, or heat. But husbands get to make that their personality, and wives have to suck it up so the kids can do enjoyable things. So sick of narratives that let men think only about themselves and women have to deal with it for the rest of the family’s sake.
Anon says
It’s not a gender thing. I’m the person in my family who is most adamantly opposed to Disney theme parks. But I really doubt my kid would enjoy it either (at least at this age), so it’s not like I’m depriving her of anything. And even if I were, it’s not like she doesn’t get to do a zillion other fun things that are less expensive and less awful for me. The idea that you have to shell out thousands of dollars to do something that makes you completely miserable because your kids *might* enjoy it is absurd to me and seems like part of mommy martyr culture.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This is where I land. If/when my kids show interest/desire it’s something we’ll think about. Until then, I’m ok skipping. I don’t really get moved by “all of the families we know are doing _______”, and DH is even more intensely in that boat than me.
I have friends who are constantly running around to various events/places “for the kids” (e.g. Daniel Tiger live – I love that guy but NOPE for me, various theme parks like Disney) and I often question if the enjoyment of the kids that heavily outweighs the annoying/exhausting factor for the parents, and this doesn’t even factor in money and time spent. I’ll stick to places where we all get some type of value and enjoyment.
Anon says
I’ll do most kid stuff like Daniel Tiger Live. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it and am happy to see my kid get the joy. But Disneyworld is my hard stop. Truly, short of places that aren’t safe for tourists, I can’t imagine a place I would less like to go.
Also I have a 4 year we just took to NYC, and her very favorite part of the entire trip was the revolving door at the hotel. If her favorite part of a vacation to one of the most exciting cities in the world is a DOOR, I’m not convinced she’s going to get anything out of Disneyworld that she can’t get out of a carnival or small theme park that’s much cheaper and closer to home. I know older kids have higher standards, but it’s truly baffling to me to take a preschooler to Disney if the adults don’t want to go, because preschoolers are impressed by literally everything.
Anon says
I haven’t been since the implementation of Genie+/lightning lanes shenanigans but I imagine you’d want to make sure you understand the strategy behind these to minimize lines. A friend of ours went in February during one of the first busy weekends of the Genie+ use and I think it crashed — what a mess.
Side note, Universal has the express passes and the experience of using those will forever ruin theme parks for me. We waited no more than 15 minutes on the newest rides. Highly recommend buying these (or staying at the resorts where they are included in the room rate) if anyone does Universal.
Anon says
+1. I can’t speak to any of the new systems, but we did FastPass or whatever it was called three years ago. I figured out the “system” and by day 2, we never waited more than 15 minutes for a ride. Not said sarcastically, it was the most magical, fun experience we’ve had as a family. My expectations were so. so. so. low going in, and it was amazing.
Anon says
+1 to all of this actually
No Face says
I have been to Disneyland recently. Have you paid for Genie+ to get in shorter lines? I highly recommend despite the higher cost.
Anonymous says
We just got back. We went this past Monday and Tuesday. It was hot and crowded and lines were long.
What would you like to know? What kind of rides do your kids want to do?
anon says
We went a few years ago pre-pandemic and it was a pretty big disaster. Lots of unexpected bad events: a lightning strike that took out nearly every ride in Magic Kingdom, a closed on-site hotel pool (at the Polynesian), a kitchen fire during our lunch at SciFi dinner that took up half a day, a 3 yo who was terrified of nearly every ride and every character and who sobbed through multiple character meals, a My Disney Experience account that was corrupt so none of our Fast Passes or rider switches worked and we had to keep going back to Guest Services between every ride, a handicapped hotel room that had a broken automatic door so we kept coming home to our hotel room door being wide open or opening randomly during the night (and waiting for service crew to fix it on multiple days). It wasn’t a good trip and Disney was totally unsympathetic to any of it–really really terrible guest relations, but I think they were getting a ton of grief because of all of the ride closures that week with the lightning strike. No one was having a magical time.
This is supposed to be a re-do on the premise that lightning really can’t strike our trip twice, right? I’m not sure what I’m looking for other than any advice for how to make this go better. My 8.5 yo wants to ride all of the thrill rides–she loves roller coasters and the bigger the better. (Of course, those are all of the rides with long lines.) I’m not sure what my 6 yo will like. She slowly warms up to new things and it isn’t a place where you can do rides more than once to get comfortable given waits. She’s one who typically dislikes the first ride on anything and loves the second and subsequent rides. We’ll have to see how she does.
Anon says
I’m amazed you’re willing to give them your money again after they were so unsympathetic to your terrible experience.
anon says
My kids were very persuasive. They fortunately/unfortunately don’t recall any of the bad stuff from the last trip. We’ll only be there for a couple of days–if the last trip had gone better this might have been a longer visit.
Anonymous says
I posted about our trip last week. My kids are 4/6/8.5. We did a day at Magic Kingdom (we’ve been pre pandemic), and a day at Hollywood studios. The coaster lines we’re adults the entire time. We spent a 3rd day at Legoland where my 6 and 8.5 year old did coaster after coaster with no lines at all.
I would highly recommend getting to the parks as early as you can and do the coasters (thunder/splash/space mountain) then. You might get lucky and be able to buy a lightening lane for 7 dwarfs or slinky dog. We skipped all the coasters this trip because I didn’t score a lightening lane, and because my husband mom and 4 year old had no interest so we stuck with more rides > thrill rides.
Slinky dog was 60-140 minute wait the entire time we were at Hollywood studios so we just didn’t do it. Which is too bad as it looked cute! My kids were adamant that >40 min was too much.
SC says
Slinky Dog is indeed super fun–probably the favorite of our 6 year old and my non-roller-coaster loving husband. It has cute, fun elements that make it feel like a real roller coaster without being scary or too intense. I think it’s worth getting Genie Plus for Slinky Dog, especially if you’re not huge Star Wars fans. The Genie Plus passes sell out quickly, so you have to target it first (we got ours at 7 am, and our return time was for 3 pm). You’re eligible for another Genie Plus 2 hours after the park opens. If that happens to you, and you’re at all night owls, I highly recommend going to the park late–you’re eligible for another Genie Plus 2 hours after the park opens, and the return time for that ride will inevitably be in the evening. But DH and I stayed late to do the Star Wars area, and we found that Hollywood Studios really cleared out in the evening. People arrive early to do Star Wars or whatever else, then park hop to another park for dinner and/or fireworks.
Anonymous says
Slinky dog is not on genie+
SC says
I have a longer post in mod… In addition to Guest Services at the front of the park, there are Guest Services stations under blue umbrellas throughout every park. If you have any problems with your Disney app, go to them first–it may at least save you a long walk.
We didn’t have any major technical issues with our app, but I noticed that ride shutdowns were very frequent at every park (that we noticed–Everest on Saturday, Slinky Dog on Monday, Ratatouille and Spaceship Earth and Ratatouille on Wednesday, Peter Pan and Haunted Mansion and Astro Orbiter on Thursday). In each case, we were able to wait it out and ride it later, but we had to be pretty flexible. On Thursday, when rides were shut down during our one-hour return windows, we automatically received redemptions to use on most other rides at any time.
Mary Moo Cow says
Following, because we’re in the early stages of planning. I know 7 families who have gone in the past two months!
I read a tip from a frequent guest to bring a phone battery bank/extra battery because you’re on the app all the time, ordering food to pick up or using Genie.
Anonymous says
Yes, you are, and it sucks. I passed many adults who were missing their kids having fun bc they were or finalizing the next thing. I was on small world trying to book our next ride. My husband was ordering dinner during the frozen show. So stupid.
Anonymous says
My sister just went, crowded and hot and stressful with having to plan every meal ahead of time. She got a bad case of COVID there. She’s on the mend but it’s not been good.
anon says
In the past month, my husband and I have been required to continue to go to work during COVID outbreaks (without a mask), leading to us being close contacts almost weekly. We’re at a point where we might as well take a vacation. The risk can’t possibly be higher than going to work with a slew of COVID positive coworkers.
We’ll mask on transport and try to eat outside.
Anon says
Yeah, I’m with you. We’re Covid cautious and still wear masks everywhere and don’t do indoor dining, but I figure we’re going to get it eventually from school or work so I’m unwilling to continue abstaining from the fun stuff. I have zero interest in Disney (I’m your husband and hate crowds, lines and heat) but if it were appealing to us we’d totally be going.
Anonymous says
We are pretty covid cautious, and did Disney a couple of weeks ago. We masked up (KN95s) any time we were indoors (including on rides and in indoor lines) and occasionally when we were in very tight spaces that were only partially outdoors (though not a lot), but did indoor dining about 3-4 times and obviously didn’t mask there (didn’t see this as inconsistent bc we just tried to reduce exposure wherever we could). And despite huge crowds, we didn’t get COVID, so it’s possible!
I honestly feel like I have a PhD in Disney after planning our last trip, but happy to answer questions! The parks were sold out every day we went, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected at all. Get there for early entry if you can (you get used to the early wake ups) because it’s less crowded, you get on rides much faster, and it’s not nearly as hot as it will be. We took breaks midday from about 2-5 and then did quick pop-backs in the evenings. Magic Kingdom was by far the most crowded and the only park where I kind of didn’t have a great time, and that was mainly bc it’s a smaller layout and things are tighter overall. Get Genie+, it’s annoying to pay extra but 100% worth it and easy to get the hang of (though there’s a lot of strategy involved, which is annoying on vacation). Splurge on any lightning lanes you care about, and if you’re like me, skip any line you can’t get on Genie + that doesn’t have a wait under 40 min. I didn’t find any rides worth super long waits with two kids under 5. Make a list of “must dos” before the trip and just focus on those, trying to enjoy the rest as you go. I’d avoid more than one table service meal a day and stick to quick service with the mobile app (huge time saver) bc it gives you more flexibility and the table service food isn’t all that great anyway. As stressful as I found it to plan it all never having been (as an adult anyway), the planning really did pay dividends and made it much easier to do what we came to do. Have a great time!
SC says
I was there last week. Crowds were very high over Easter weekend and “moderate” during the week–we strategized around that a bit, but I’m not sure I could tell the difference in the park. I would definitely buy the Genie Plus to maximize your time, and buy the individual Lightning Lane if you’re interested in that ride for that park.
The least crowded times of day are morning and evening. Last week, the weather was really pleasant those times of day. Evenings actually seemed less crowded than mornings, especially at Magic Kingdom, in case your kids are night owls. At all parks, 11-2 is the most crowded time of day, and the hottest time is 1-4. I recommend a long break indoors in the middle of the day, either at a sit-down restaurant if you can get a dining reservation, or mobile order at a counter service place with good indoor seating. Have a plan before you go of where you’re going to eat.
Animal Kingdom is the least crowded and most shaded park, but it also has the least to do in terms of rides. Magic Kingdom has the most to do and really spaces people out. Hollywood Studios is supposedly crowded with locals on the weekends. When we went the Monday after Easter. Lines were long, I didn’t feel like the crowds were that bad (maybe because everyone was in line for Rise of the Resistance, which was up to 3 hours at one point). Epcot has a huge construction zone in the middle and no place to walk, so it felt crowded, even on Wednesday (the least crowded day) and when lines weren’t that long. That was the only day the crowds really got to me. My mother, who is local and has annual passes, says you “can’t” go to Epcot on the weekends.
My 6 year old used a stroller, and he really needed it. (He has a medical condition that affects his muscle tone and endurance though, so YMMV.) There’s a lot of walking–easily 20K steps a day. No trams are running from the parking lot to the front gate, so unless you’re staying on property and taking Disney buses or are willing to pay for premium parking, be prepared for long walks at the beginning and end of your day.
The continuous-run, 3-D shows (Muppets at Hollywood Studios, Philharmagic at Magic Kingdom, and Bug’s Life at Animal Kingdom) typically have very short lines, are indoors in the AC, and are seated. They make very good filler in the middle of the day.
SC says
If you do want to do the Lightning Lane, they go on sale at 7 am exactly. If you don’t get one then, another cache is released at 7:07 and another at 7:17. Keep refreshing the list on the app/browser. Use an atomic clock website. And if you’re staying at Disney, turn off the wifi and use your phone’s data plan. Allegedly, more Lightning Lane passes become available throughout the day, but we were able to get one each day at either 7 am or 7:07 am.
If you’re using the Lightning Lane, be very flexible on timing, and do not hesitate to take the first one you get. On Monday, I clicked on Rise of the Resistance for 8:30 am, even though my husband said he’d rather not ride it that early. By the time the page loaded, the next click was for 2 pm. By the time that processed, our return time was 7:50 pm. With regular Genie Plus, the return times were usually, but not always, what was displayed when we clicked to reserve it.
NOVA Anon says
You should check out the blog “Mouse Hacking” (www dot mousehacking dot com) or the “Disney Tourist Blog” (www dot disneytouristblog dot com). They have one day itineraries for making the best use of Genie Plus, and they really explain the mechanics of using it — e.g. using a particular “world clock” app so that you click for your Rise of the Resistance Lightning Lane at EXACTLY 7 a.m. — trust me, it makes a big difference. They both have similar strategies, but I found the first one easier to follow, and the second one the best source of the “advanced” techniques for getting the most out of the app. I love Disney World and your kids are the perfect ages. Hopefully your husband will play along for a couple days.
Anonymous says
It has been said, but buy Genie+ AND watch all the instagram, youtube videos you can on it. Once you are there it will all make sense, but it helps to get a good idea of what to expect before you go. One big thing to watch out for – the app defaults to Magic Kingdom every time you open (like WTF, you know what park I am in, please stop?)
As far as the complaints that you spend all the time on your phone, I did not feel this to be true. I did have to do some planning on my phone while we were in the park – but I would take that over constantly waiting in line.
Also, book your pick up food early – the quick serve windows fill up fast. We did not find the sit down restaurants to be worth it.
We went into it knowing that we would not see everything. As an over planner, this was hard for me. However, I think I enjoyed it more knowing that it just is what it is. With the app you can see what rides are available to do with a short wait – but it might not be the 1st pick. By using genie+ and lighting lane we were able to do all of our must-dos (except slinky dog!) We also ended up taking some very bizarre rides that I never want to do again (carousel of progress?!). But the kids even found those interesting and a nice break.
If at all possible, I recommend rope drop, then go back to your hotel to rest during mid afternoon. Then go back to the park around 4 and stay as last as you can. Not sure if you are staying on property, but I think our mid-day resets made it better. We missed the worst crowd (and heat) times, and we all got a rest.
Bean74 says
We’re going in two weeks and I’m looking forward to Carousel of Progress to get out of the heat and possibly grab a quick nap!
Cb says
I need a book about where babies come from to deal with some nearly-5 year old curiosity. I explained that the uterus was a type of pouch and had to have a conversation in which I explained that no, it was not external, I am not a kangaroo.
Ideally one not geared towards a new baby coming along to avoid giving him any ideas or an Usborne lift a flap book (I hate the flaps)
Mary Moo Cow says
Amazing You! has basic/age appropriate illustrations and explanations of the repro organs. It is definitely not about a baby on the way. I’ve read it with my 4-6 year olds.
Anon says
Hahaha about the kangaroo. Our local zoo has wallabies and all my 4 year old wants to do these days is play ‘mama kangaroo and baby kangaroo’ where I pretend I’m carrying her in my pouch.
Anon says
No help on the books – but a solid plus MANY to the flap books. The big kids get annoyed, the little kids pull them off, and my arms are usually full of kids, so it’s super hard for me to pull them up. Adding flap books to my list of irrational hatred (button up baby PJs, I’m also looking at you).
Cornellian says
Second the Amazing You recommendation.
I’m pregnant and yesterday my five year old asked me if the baby was still in its egg. So maybe the book didn’t take as well as I thought, ha.
Anonymous says
Thirding Amazing You.
anon says
What Makes a Baby has been my kids’ favorite.
anon says
What Makes a Baby, It’s Not the Stork, and The Baby Tree. I also liked the “Itty bitty newborn: 0-3 months (Big Sister Learns All About Babies)” series which walks little kids through very basic stuff that babies can do. It explains what newborns do, so little kids aren’t surprised when they don’t walk and talk back to them.
Definitely read them all first so you are comfortable with the information!
Detangler says
Far and away the best detangler I have encountered is the Purology Multi-tasking Leave in Spray (also comes in travel size). I use it on my daughter’s super fine and prone to matting curls, I use it before I blow out my own barely wavy hair as a heat protectant. We have tried so many different detanglers, and I cannot overstate how this took bedtime brushing from everyone crying to no tears and it is worth every penny. And I love that everyone can use the same stuff, so there is only one bottle in the bathroom.
Laura says
Last night I was (to use the main sites language) gardening and at the end had a huge knot in my hair. Not cute bedhead, this looked like a “before” ad for children’s detangled. So now I’m thinking something like this before next time might be a good idea.
Anotheranon says
Caught up late on a thread last week that got me wondering (and I’m sure this has been discussed before but I can’t find it) – if you had a choice, what would your ideal age gap for kids be and why?
Anon says
I’m one and done so take this with a grain of salt. If you can handle the craziness, I think 2-3 years is the ideal spacing for both the kids being close emotionally and ease of family life (because you don’t have kids in wildly different life stages at the same time and don’t vastly prolong the exhausting baby and toddler years). Part of why we stopped at one is that we knew we couldn’t handle 2 under 3 and we knew we didn’t want a large gap between kids and didn’t want to start over with a newborn once we had a more fun, independent kid.
Cornellian says
Ooh I want to go find that thread. Ideal for whom? PI don’t know what’s right. I think if you start later in life and want more than one your hand is a little forced, which I’m not sure my friends considered when we were younger. I will also say I think close, same-sex sibling pairs seem to be the most contentious at least when they’re kids.
I got pregnant with my first at 29 and am now pregnant with my second at 35. It’ll be nice in that I won’t have two daycare costs going at once, but I’m not sure if the kids will develop as close of a relationship as they may otherwise have done. I imagine it’ll be less competition between them, but I also am worried about how to find things to do that are interesting for both of them. I also am sad to restart the diaper age, honestly.
Anon says
I think 2.5-3 years. I have three boys, the spacing is 25 months and then 3.5 years. Two years is a little close – there is a lot of competition among my first two (though their personalities a bit oil/water). They are close enough to get treated “the same” in a lot of situations, but really those situations are a bit of a drag on the older and too much of a challenge for the younger. BUT they are also really great playmates and I can see them having a super close relationship as they get older.
With the 3.5 year gap, I think they’ll love and enjoy each other, but be at such different stages (4 grades in school), they I don’t know how truly close they’ll be (I’m talking bff-style closeness, not “like each other and have fun enough”)
My sisters and I are all just over 3 years apart. I consider my closest sister to be my best friend, and we were super close as little kids, but definitely drifted apart in the tween and teen years. Every relationship is different for sure, but all that leads me to think that just under 3 years is ideal for balancing emotional closeness with independence/competition. I bet gender of kids also plays a role – I grew up with all girls, and now I have all boys, so that’s my perspective
Anon says
I agree with 2.5-3 years being ideal. The oldest is big enough to be a preschooler instead of a baby, but they are close enough in age to play together. I had a 4.5 year gap with my brother and we never ever had any common interests. I’m sure some of that was personality, but a five grade gap in school didn’t help.
We have a 32 month gap and really enjoy it. My kids are best friends and get really upset when they don’t get enough time to play together. They want to pretend play for hours and hours every weekend. Who knows if they will stay close, but for now it’s working for us.
Anonymous says
My brother and I are 3.5 years / 4 grades and for us it was great- we have always been very close- played together all the time as kids and are very close as adults. For my own, we wanted 3-4 years apart and lucked out with 3.5 years apart (but 3 grades based on timing of birthdays).
Boston Legal Eagle says
My kids are 2.5 years apart. Looking back on it, closer to 4 years apart would have probably been easier for me, as our older one was still very needy when we also then had a newborn. But hindsight is 2020 (which ironically would have been the year number 2 would have been born if they were 4 years apart and…Covid) and I love my second. I can see the finish line of being done with the difficult baby and toddler years, so at least that hasn’t been dragged out. My kids fight and compete, and also can play well together now that the younger one has caught up to the older one and the older one is still very much into kid games, so that’s nice. I think kids’ personalities play a much bigger role in friendship and competition, so I’m not sure how close my kids will be in the future, but I am glad that they have each other, especially as they don’t have any cousins or other similar aged family nearby.
CCLA says
Depends on so many things. We have 2 girls 2 years apart, and love it, would 100% do it this way again if given the choice. DH and I both wanted the baby stage over reasonably quickly so aimed for a 2-year gap and were lucky things worked out as desired. Not everyone will feel that way of course, but for us it was good timing and I was happy to quickly put diapers, bottles, etc. behind us. They are also the best of friends, which is awesome, but I do think that would still be possible with a larger gap.
Anon says
so i have twins. before having twins, i always thought my ideal age gap would be ~4-5 years, but i would’ve had to have started with kids younger. just now that my twins are almost 4 can i imagine handling another, but i also don’t know what it is like to only have one baby at a time.
Anonymous says
I have 3. My oldest is 2.9 years older than my middle, who is 22 months older than my youngest. They are all 2 years apart in school.
I’d vote 2-3 years apart in age and 2 years apart in school. All mine will be in elem together for 2 years, which is nice.
Spirograph says
How an age gap works out depends so much on your kids’ personalities, which of course you can’t control. But there are predictable-ish factors to consider: mother’s health, financials, logistics.
My kids are all a smidge less than 2 years apart. Was it exhausting? Yes. Was it the best idea for my own health? Probably not, but it was fine. Was it expensive to have two and three kids in daycare? Absolutely. But we could manage all of those temporary-ish things, and wanted to have the kids in generally the same stage at the same time to streamline logistics in the long term. DH and I wanted to get through the baby/toddler phase in one fell swoop, and also for it to be possible to have all the kids launched in time to retire early if we can. I’d do it again. We lucked out that the kids get along well most of the time.
Jolene says
We have 18 months and I absolutely love it. The kids are generally able to do and interested in doing the same things. (Helps that they’re the same gender.) This covers vacations, toys, TV shows, weekend activities, etc. Also makes hand me downs super easy – they basically go out of my older’s closet directly into my younger’s.
I also like that the small gap didn’t allow me to rely on my older one to “help” with the younger one too much (though she still does!). I was 5+ years older than my younger siblings and was definitely a caregiver more than a sister at times.
Anon says
One and done here, so no commentary about how siblings interact at different ages. If we were to have a second, it would be a 3 – 3.5 year spacing; pregnancy and recovery were so long and grueling that I just didn’t have much bandwidth until DS was two.
Anon for this says
It pains me to type this, as I wanted so badly to share my emerging good news here, but I’m returning to work tomorrow after having a miscarriage. I hadn’t announced anything at work, but I sort of left unexpectedly mid week for sick leave. Three close coworkers know. The sadness is coming in waves, but I’m in need of some hive wisdom to help me get through the week ahead..
NLD in NYC says
Hugs from across the interwebs. Had one after my final IVF. Please be as gentle with yourself as possible. Cancel meetings if you can. Find an out of the way bathroom to sob if you need to.
Anon says
Be kind to yourself. You are entitled to grieve, and it will take time. Depending on how far along you were, you’re both simultaneously dealing with emotional pain and the physical pain of your body dealing from the loss. I am 2.5 years out from my 9w miscarriage and I still get waves of sadness from time to time (much less frequent now obviously). Let your close coworkers tell people if you don’t want to (I was OK not talking about it but would burst into tears if anyone asked what was wrong or if I was doing OK). In my office, it was better to let word spread than have everyone ask why I was teary or standoffish, etc., but YMMV. Come in late and leave early if you can. Get outside for lunch to get some fresh air. I found it best for me personally to keep busy after the most intense waves of grief had passed; I was much more likely to get lost in my thoughts in a slow day at the office. In terms of physical matters, make sure you are keeping hydrated, eat lots of iron-rich foods to help prevent anemia (and if your bleeding seems heavy or ongoing, ask your doctor to run tests to make sure you’re not heading towards anemic), and take lots of rest. Expect and do not be surprised by the hormonal swings. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
OP says
thank you so much. I was 9 weeks, as well. I am planning on adding in the max virtual days I can, too. I did inform my boss so I think I can be honest with her on where I am. Appreciate this and all the kind words on this thread.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry, first that this happened, and second that you don’t have more time to grieve before jumping back into work. I honestly would consider telling your manager. One of my direct reports went through this last year, and I was happy to shield her and redistribute work to give her the time that she needed.
Anonymous says
All the hugs and love in the world.
Anonymous says
Late reply, but hugs. I’ve had two: one MMC that resulted in a D&C at 11-12 weeks and one natural MC at 5 weeks.
Telling someone helps. Staying busy helps. But let yourself feel your feelings—it absolutely is a loss and should be grieved as one. Plus, it hurts! And hormones are a bitch! I already had a kid at home and my husband took the lead on parenting for a while so I could eat dark chocolate PB cups and be sad.
One thing I did not expect was that the bleeding took a long time, even after the D&C. I want to say it was 2-3 weeks, so stock up on your protection products. (At the time I liked the ultra thin pads, but now I would highly recommend Thinx for this need. Size up, though.)
It gets better, I promise. Once I got over the crying-all-the-time part, I found it helpful to talk about my miscarriages—not just with close friends/family, but anyone. I felt/feel like I was doing my part to normalize them, which seems like a worthwhile endeavor.
Anonymous says
Does anyone have any resources for younger kids with ADHD that they’d recommend? Our 5 yo (almost 6) was diagnosed this winter, but the pediatrician didn’t really have anything helpful to suggest. Would love online support groups, podcasts, etc. Thank you!!
Anonymous says
I’m sure this is kid dependent to some extent, but wondering if parents of older girls have thoughts. We currently have a ranch house with two bedrooms on the main floor and two in the basement. Our family is DH, me, and our 6.5 year old daughter. Both bedrooms in the upstairs are off the living room. At what age do you think our daughter is going to want more privacy around her bedroom and ask to move to the basement? Asking becuase this would influence the order of priority for some home improvement projects. Thanks!
Anonymous says
12
Anonymous says
I agree that she will probably want to move somewhere around age 10 – 12. You might want more privacy by the time she’s around 8.
Anon says
It might be never. I grew up in a small house and it wasn’t ideal but I don’t recall ever asking my parents to give me the basement bedroom, which was set up for guests.
Also just because a child asks for something doesn’t mean they get it. We have a basement bedroom but don’t plan to let our child switch.
Anonymous says
OP here. Fair point. I don’t think we really care, TBH. Really, the goal is to build a two story at some point in the future (we already have the lot). We bought it about five years ago to build around now. But with building prices out of control (especially in our small town of only custom builders), the stars just are not aligned. In the meantime, we can’t wait any longer to address some issues in our current house. (I won’t go into detail, just trust me when I say the things are broken and need to be fixed…this is a case of “need” versus “want”.)
Anonymous says
In that case I would just fix up the current house with the intention of keeping her upstairs.
NYCer says
Totally depends on the kid. Personally as a child, I would have never wanted to move to the basement!
SC says
As a child, I probably would have appreciated a space in the basement for hanging out with friends, watching movies, and maybe studying, but I wouldn’t have wanted my bedroom in the basement.
Anon says
+1
Anon says
I would have wanted whichever room had the most sunlight.
Sleepy Anon says
Thank you to everyone who chimed in on my post a few weeks ago about my 12-month-old sleeping terribly since birth and what could be wrong…the pediatrician did indeed brush me off because I still nurse or rock to sleep, but thanks to the suggestions here I made an appt with an ENT. I don’t know why it took me so long to connect the dots, but it hadn’t occurred to me. He is a mouth breather, and the ENT found fluid in his ears, possibly enlarged adenoids and lot of congestion. We’re trying a couple different meds and will go back for a follow up next month. I’m so relieved to finally be on a path to answers and have someone take my concerns seriously. This board is so helpful!
Anon says
I’m happy to hear back! I had responded to your prior post about my son who is a mouth breather and needed his adenoids removed, which we discovered after an ENT appointment. I’m glad you got an appointment! Don’t kick yourself about connecting the dots–that is literally the doctor’s job and it took them a while to connect the dots, too! It’s so difficult with babies who can’t communicate. You should feel proud that you followed your instincts, asked questions, and advocated for your child!
Anonymous says
Hi moms group! I have no kids, love kids but never planned on any of my own. My boyfriend has an 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage. (“Bella”) I have a really close relationship with my sibling’s kids (I get them every 3rd weekend) and several friend’s kids in this age range. I am having a really hard time not comparing Bella to these kiddos. As an internet stranger, I am admitting — I think Bella acts like a brat. I don’t think she’s inherently naughty, I think this is largely on him/her mom. Bella has no routine. they let her skip school whenever she doesn’t feel like going, she got kicked out of an extracurricular for not listening to the teacher, she goes to bed whenever she feels like it, she tells them what she wants to eat every night… including mid-meal she might demand fast food, and she sleeps in his bed or her bed or on a couch, whatever she picks (often she picks his bed and he ends up on his couch). No kid or family is perfect, but the lack of routine (and rules I guess?) is driving me nuts.
I have read about dating someone with a kid and for the most part, internet tells me that I should keep my mouth shut, let him and her mom parent her how they see fit, and be ready to do my own thing (“I don’t want McDonald’s, I’m going to stay here and eat my steak. See you when you get back!”). I’ve been doing this so far. None of my close friends have step kids and I just don’t know who to ask.
Realistically speaking- is this ever going to get better? Can I talk to my boyfriend about this without crossing major “not my kid” lines? I get that routine is hard and parenting is different for every family, I’m struggling with it more than I thought. Oh – If it matters, we do not live in the same house right now but he’d like to move in together this summer. So as of now, we sleep in separate households… and yet if we move in together I do not want to share a bed with her, or sleep on the couch. This got really rambly. Any thoughts or advice?
anon says
If you don’t like who he is as a parent, then you need to end this relationship.
Anon says
Your boyfriend is a terrible father and boyfriend and you should dump him and definitely do not move in with him. Bella is not a brat, she’s a child being raised by irresponsible parents and I feel sorry for her.
Anonymous says
If this is a real post, I’d dump him now. You are right that you are not in any position to interfere with the parenting, and if the kid is this spoiled it’s a sign that she’ll probably resent you and try to poison your relationship with her dad, and also that her dad is not a great person.
Anonymous says
You need to break up with your boyfriend. You aren’t just dating your boyfriend, you’re dating your boyfriend and his child. It’s completely unfair to him and his child to continue this relationship when you don’t want to be a stepmom to her or a part of her life. You may not know all the ins and outs of their divorce and how it has affected her behavior.
roxie says
I will chime in and say that while this is one reasonable opinion, reasonable people can and do disagree.
OP, look into NACHo stepparenting and disengaging, The Atlantic just had a great piece on this.
I live with my partner and we have his kid half time. I do not love this child and don’t plan to but I treat them with deep respect and they like me. I am not a parent – they already have 2! – and I don’t want to be. This takes active and ongoing communication and understanding. My partner is worth it but it is not for everyone.
Spirograph says
Ooof. Yeah, I don’t think you can talk to him at this point without crossing major “not my kid” lines, but I feel you. How long have you been dating? If he wants to move in together, working out the logistics of that seems like a time you can ask “how do you see my role in your daughter’s life?” and also lay ground rules like “my bed is my bed.” Ideally you’d move to a “neutral location” rather than moving into his house. Make sure there are 2 bedrooms so the daughter has her own space.
Also, brattiness is a really, really common 8-year-old trait, from my observation (and my mom’s laughing when I complain about it). If your siblings’ kids are younger, it’s not a fair comparison. :) How old was she when her parents separated? If it’s within the last couple of years, I would chalk a lot of that behavior (both hers and the parents’) up to aftershocks of the separation/divorce.
Anon says
BF letting kid sleep in his bed and taking the couch is a BF problem, not a house problem.
Spirograph says
I mean yeah, but I’m thinking of a freshly-divorced dad pad. When this was my dad, he didn’t have a space for me and my siblings to call our own. And he did offer to let us sleep in his bed rather than sleeping bags on the floor, and then he’d take the couch. It wasn’t “terrible parenting,” it was a time of transition. Eventually he got a house that was big enough for all of us. I have not experienced divorce as a parent, but I can imagine there might be an initial impulse give in on things more than you did before because you feel guilty about what you’ve “taken away” with the separation.
Anon says
She said in the OP that the kid has her own bed. If the only issue was sleeping arrangements I could see your point, but it really sounds like the dad just does not want to do the harder parts of parenting or enforce any rules at all. Is that behavior caused by guilt related to the divorce? Perhaps, but I don’t think you can assume that it’s temporary or will improve when they move in together, and I think it’s a huge red flag as far as OP is concerned unless she wants to live like this for 10 more years.
Anonymous says
Hopefully he’s not super freshly divorced if he’s already planning to move in with a girlfriend.
Anon says
It’s not bad parenting to let your child sleep in bed with you (although I’d argue it’s disrespectful to your partner if your partner isn’t on board with it), but it’s definitely bad parenting to not enforce a bedtime for an 8 year old and to give in to your child’s mid-dinner demand to go out for fast food. Even if there’s an underlying reason (the divorce) it’s still bad parenting.
anonM says
If you’re really committed to this relationship, I think you want him to make some changes BEFORE you move in so it’s not all pinned on you. I’d try framing it like, hey, we’ve been talking about moving in together, but let’s talk about the main priority here, Bella. How do you feel like it’s going? Have you and Mom talked in a while about her routines/goals/expectations for Bella this summer?
What you REALLY want to avoid from what I’ve seen is attacking the Mom’s parenting — either by actually doing it or making it seem that way. I’d push Dad to talk with Mom and come up with a plan. Not “Jane Says We Should do XYZ” but rather “hey, with summer coming up, I’d really like to get Bella on a realistic schedule we can stick to between both our homes/all the activities/fun summer stuff.”
This is all super personality dependent, but having seen this play out and turn into adult children that are a constant strain on the second marriages, I lean toward intervening slightly and seeing how it goes. And if this isn’t improving, ask yourself if you can deal with a difficult step-child into their adulthood, or is that a dealbreaker for you?
DLC says
Can you take the eight year old on a special date? It might help you see the child for whom she really is. My niece is a huge brat when my brother and SIL are around, but she is actually quite manageable and sweet when it is just me and her and my kids. She was a really tough baby with lots of health problems and I think my brother and SIL from a very young age just fell into a pattern of giving her whatever she wanted to avoid the tantrums .
Have you asked your BF whether or not he finds her challenging? Not in a judgmental way, but just a curious ask to see how he feels he is doing as a parent and if he needs support, parenting resources or therapy? I think it is perfectly valid to ask those questions- not about his daughter, but about him.
Anon says
She doesn’t actually sound “challenging” so much as she just lives in a house with no rules or routines. Most 8 year olds would go wild if they never had bedtimes and got McDonalds whenever they wanted.
OP, I’m not a step-parent or co-parent but I think you can talk to your boyfriend about how he parents without disrespecting him or the child’s mother. But I also think he and you have completely different parenting philosophies and there isn’t a way to reconcile his laissez faire attitude toward raising a child with the structure and routine you (understandably) want, so you should break up.
Anonymous says
This dude sounds like trash.
Anon says
Yes. I’m surprised so many people are giving advice about how to handle the kid. I think the dad and his lack of parenting are the main source of the issues. Maybe the kid would have issues in a stable home, but there’s really no reason to think that from what OP posted.
anon says
+1. This is 100% on the parents not parenting and has very little to do with divorce, imho.
Cornellian says
Oof. This sounds rough, and I don’t know if you can fix it. It sounds like it’s the parents’ fault, and kid’s behavior sounds pretty normal. Mine is five but if I let him set his own bedtime he’d probably go to bed at 2 AM. I don’t run a regimented household, probably less “routine” than my friends, but kids for sure need some boundaries. I suspect it will only get harder to put boundaries in place as she ages, and that you’ll end up as the “agent of no” in any situation that develops, unfortunately. And, for what it’s worth, I was a single parent who recently married a non-parent, so I think I have some experience here.
I think you can initiate a conversation like the 2:20 poster recommends, but I would not be moving in with him while there are no ground rules in the household. You’re going to end up being the nag or being walked all over. You haven’t mentioned how much custody he has. If it’s just every other weekend and you have a private office or something of your own, maybe you can put up with it. But if they have a more 50/50 split or it’s a small space, I think you’ll be miserable.
OP says
Thank you to all who replied. I’m not a regular poster or reader on the moms page – sorry if it read like a fake, I assure you it is real except for kid’s name :) He has been divorced four years, we met through mutual friends two years ago (well, a little before pandemic lockdowns, but didn’t date until after I realized I wanted him in my “bubble.”) Custody is more like 65/35- not a knock on him, no child or spousal abuse allegations or anything, we live in an “equity” state, mom has not worked since Bella was born, and she’s always had more than 50/50 time.
Anyway, my takeaways subject to any other points are: 1. Try to talk with him about my concerns, but framing it so it’s not critical if anyone especially Bella or her mom, and 2. Not moving in unless or until we work some key things out, and 3. Break up if things don’t go well/improve. My lease is up in July so that’s my benchmark for “have things gotten better” especially since Bella isn’t in school, there he will have a lot more daytime.
This got long again and I mostly want to say thank you for the perspectives. I’ll check back again in case of more comments but otherwise – “see” you on the non-moms page soon :)
Jolene says
Of course this will not get better, and you have no ability to cause it to get better. Any efforts you make in that direction will cause angst and resentment from your bf and the child. I’m sure the books you’ve read have told you that when you date a parent, you take their children as part of the package deal. You know that tried-and-true dating advice that you don’t date/marry a man hoping to change him? That also applies to any children in the equation: don’t date a parent of a child hoping to change that child. If you would be miserable living with this child exactly as she is today, you should not move forward with this relationship.
For a reality check: there are 8 year olds out there who are disciplined, kind, sweet, go to bed on time, and are a delight to their teachers and caregivers. Just so you don’t fall into the soft self-delusion of “kids are just like this.”