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The other day was the first day I truly underdressed for the weather, and I feel like my body has not been able to get warm since. I have been seeing so many fleece items recently, and my shivering body is drawing me toward them. My favorite so far has been this J.Crew version with the contrasting zipper and pocket. I love the combination of the navy blue with the neon pink and blue — it makes me feel like it’s an updated version of a ’90s ski jacket, and the price is right for something so cozy. If you’re feeling the toned down ’90s vibe of the J.Crew version, it is available in sizes XS–3X and in two other colors. It’s $148 full price, but the current sale brings it down to $96. Polartec Fleece Half-Zip Hoodie This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Am I the only one who is anti-hoodie? I hate having a hood with another coat on top, and fleece isn’t enough in my snowy winters, so it’s really only used in shoulder seasons. Given it should be below freezing next week, that shoulder season is too short to warrant hooded sweatshirts.
rosie says
So disclaimer that I tend to love/accumulate jackets of all sorts, but I like a hooded sweatshirt with a puffy vest over it. I live in DC, though, sounds like you live somewhere colder where maybe it’s not vest season for long. Although when I’m somewhere colder, I don’t hate having the option to double hood or use a lighterweight hood instead of the hood from my down jacket.
Spirograph says
I’m also in the DC area and agree with all this. A Nordstrom personal shopper talked me into a vest a couple years ago and it is my favorite thing at this time of year.
rosie says
I have a Patagonia vest that I really like, although it has a hood but it does have a zipper and snaps, which I really like with a vest for max flexibility. I got a maternity puffer vest from ON (currently using it for the second time), it just adds a lot of versatility to a limited wardrobe. Like I said, I’m a jacket person :)
anne-on says
+1 – in NE and vests provide just the right amount of extra warmth in spring/fall without being too bulky when driving or running errands when I won’t be outside for too long.
If I used my handle this would DEF out me. :-) says
I can’t put up a hoodie because I have a big head and a massive amount of hair, so you’re not alone.
Anonymous says
I really like hoodies, particularly for around the house (WFH). The extra material at the neck provides a ton of extra warmth.
What I don’t like is the explosion of sherpa right now. I’m all for a sherpa lining on something, but I really dislike sherpa on the outside.
Anon says
I’m with you. Hoodies scream college to me, probably because I wore them all the time during that phase of my life. That said, I have 2 (upgraded from my college ones) that I do wear at home and possibly around the neighborhood if we go for a walk after dinner.
Anon says
I hate hoods. I find them so uncomfortable
EB0220 says
I only like them on rain coats. I have so much hair and hoodies just push my hair into my face. I see hoodies as style not function!
shortperson says
i love hoodies. faves are from marine layer, a down hoodie from lululemon, and a cashmere hoodie from jcrew. but right now in socal it’s back to shorts and tank top season.
Buble says
How do you clean your kids’ backpacks? My kiddo’s is ridiculously dirty/smelly after just two months of school. I feel like putting it in the wash is a bad idea.
Clementine says
I wash it in the washing machine on cold and hang dry. Actually, because of the straps, I have put it in a mesh bag to wash and it came out fine.
Alternately, when gross stuff spilled (think: yogurt on a 90 degree day), I put it in the kitchen sink with a nylon brush and washed it with dish soap. It came right out.
I buy kids’ stuff that is designed to get messy and get clean.
Buble says
Oooh the dish soap idea is a good one. I’m hesitant to wash it in the washing machine because I did that with a diaper bag and it was absolutely saturated/disgusting and did not actually get clean, ha!
What brand of backpack do you use, do you like it? We have the ubiquitous personalized PB Kids backpack, but one strap has already ripped off and it looks like its been rolled in the dirt and smells like it’s been worn by a hobo…
Clementine says
LLBean. I think on here somebody mentioned that the PBK backpacks didn’t hold up – meanwhile, the LLBean backpacks still seem to wear like iron.
(In my 30’s, I do know a couple of adults who still use their LLBean backpacks from high school.)
avocado says
We have had the best luck with LL Bean backpacks. We have never had one wear out with multiple years of use; they just get too small and we have to size up. They do very well in the washing machine, but you do need to pretreat stains on the light colors. We hang dry.
Anon says
This – I have washed my two-plus decade old LL Bean backpack many a time and it still holds up great.
FVNC says
I’ve put my daughter’s cheap-o Target backpack in the wash (cold, hang dry) and it’s been fine.
anon says
I just wash it in the washing machine. Haven’t lost one yet.
Anon says
Couple questions about tantrums, since my 20 month old seems to be hitting the terrible 2s early. ?
I’ve seen the advice to put your child somewhere to cool off for a minute or two to cool off, but how does that work once your child can open doors? Or in the case of a tantrum where they’re mad because they want to go somewhere (yesterday she was melting down because she wanted to go outside and we weren’t letting her), unless we were physically restraining/holding her (which seemed to only make her more upset) she would just succeed in doing what she wanted to do in the first place. We ended up putting her in her crib, which sort of worked, but I’m not sure the crib-tantrum association is a good one. Is there a better toddler containment device?
And how much should you give into their whims when you know what they want? Kiddo is pretty verbal so we usually know the cause of the meltdown. Occasionally it’s something we obviously can’t let her do for safety reasons (eg., run into the street) but usually it’s something we could do with moderate (go outside rightthisminute) or minor (let her eat with a blue spoon instead of a pink spoon) inconvenience. It’s tempting to take the path of least resistance and avoid tantrums but I don’t want to make her spoiled. I know not to reward a tantrum once it’s begun, but I guess what I’m wondering is when she asks to go outside at an inconvenient time, can we just go (to avoid a likely meltdown) or do we need to say no (and deal with the meltdown)?
Anonymous says
Ours used to throw herself down in the middle of the living room floor for tantrums. We let her stay there and ignored her, as it was a safe spot and the tantrums seemed to burn out quickest there. Putting her in her room only ramped up the screaming and door-rattling.
rosie says
We try to minimize disagreements, hopefully that is not the wrong move. So if it’s easy to give her what she wants (your spoon example), I would just do it. I try to offer her choices where I can — like which cup she wants for her water — so she feels like she has some control and we can potentially avoid the situation where she wants something else (cause no toddler ever said she wanted one color cup and then changed her mind once you got it, right?).
Sometimes if she really wants to do something that is inconvenient (go to playground NOW) or we just want to avoid (ice cream right before dinner), we briefly explain why she cannot do the thing right now but understand she really wants to, and ask her if she wants to draw a picture of or for the thing. Or if she wants something to eat that we don’t have, we add it to the list for the grocery store with her.
I probably wouldn’t do crib to contain her. Seems like a bad association, plus she’s probably going to try climbing out soon if she hasn’t already. Our nanny used to strap her into her high chair for a brief time out, which honestly I did not love but not enough to rock the boat. If we have a safety issue in the moment, like not holding hands in a parking lot, we either pick her up or strap her into her stroller, over her protests.
FVNC says
Our son is older now (2.5) but when he was around this age, we started putting him in his room to cry. We try to make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with his feelings, but he has to have them in his room and can come out when he’s finished. However…we did have to turn around the door handle so that we can lock it from the outside, because otherwise he’d escape. His tantrums seemed to have peaked (fingers crossed), but for a while this was a daily occurrence.
DLC says
For containment when we lived in a ranch style house, we would put our child in the bedroom hallway, closed off by a baby gate. Also there was a little chair there for her to sit on so she wasn’t sitting on the floor. At our current house, we use their bedroom, with knob covers on the door to prevent escape.
I definitely waffle on the giving in thing- part of me is, “It’s not a big deal and I should save my energy for when it is a big deal” and part of me is “Well, I’m the parent and they should just listen to me.” Neither option feels really good, so no helpful advice here. Though, I do tend to give in, because I like to encourage me kids to have opinions and a voice.
FVNC says
Re: your second paragraph, I more or less take the same approach. Granted, both my kids are verbal now, so if a do-able request is made in a non-whiney/non-crying manner, I tend to accommodate even if it seems silly (we have had the exact red spoon/blue spoon issue in our house).
I got the advice on here (where I get all my advice) to say “yes” when possible, so that saying “no” means something. That was good advice for me, because I found myself saying “no” reflexively when really, what difference does it make if kid wants a red spoon? Or to wear an outfit that makes her look like a lunatic? Or to play a game I find mildly annoying? It’s not magic; when I say “no” I still get pushback, but I do like being able to say yes more often than not.
CPA Lady says
How do I keep her in her room? I have held the door shut in the past on a handful of occasions when she’s been hysterical. She’s one of those kids who only ramps it up more and more if she’s being held during a tantrum, so separating her helps her calm down faster.
As far as whether or not to give in, I think this is one of the most exhausting things about being a parent– the constant judgement calls.
I don’t think it matters whether or not you say yes or no any particular time, it matters a lot more that you stick to what you say. So if you say “No” and then she gets hysterical and you change your mind to stop the tantrum, that teaches her that she gets her way by pitching a fit.
We started teaching our kid not to have tantrums-as-default way of making a request. It has been an ongoing process over the last several years. I frequently say to my daughter “you don’t get what you want by pitching a fit”. So if she starts her request process by pitching a fit, the answer is automatically no. If she asks for it calmly, then I make a decision and try to say yes when possible. I also thank her for asking me calmly. When she was little, we called asking for things nicely “using your big girl voice”. This might be a little too advanced for a 20 month old, but I think we started using this language sometime around age 2.
Also, I’ve noticed that I’m a better and calmer mom when my needs are being met too. If my kid’s requests are too much and are going to make me short tempered, I don’t say yes. I try to offer compromises though.
Anonymous says
We put a doorknob cover on the inside of her door so she couldn’t open it.
rosie says
Yes we have started “use your strong voice” when she is whining to ask for something, also a little older (2 & a few months). So far she’s responding well, cannot remember if that was a tip I saw on this site or somewhere else.
Anon. says
Personal motto: pick your battles. (This applies to children, spouses, and colleagues.) We don’t fight over things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. He can have whatever color plate he wants (that is clean); we can go to the library instead of the park because its not that much further; but he MUST sit in his car seat end of story – scream all you want.
SC says
If my son is having a meltdown, we send him to his room to calm down. He needs a safe, quiet space to be alone. When he was 2, we had a baby gate on his room so he could not get out, but we could hear him. We didn’t put him in his crib because we were also worried about any negative associations with the crib. We do not treat it as a time out, and we tell him that he can rejoin when he’s ready to do X without Y. If he comes out before he’s calm, we redirect him to his room but reiterate that he’s welcome when he’s calm. We also give him his stuffed animals and allow him to play, which seems to help him process. He usually comes out in a few minutes.
We try to avoid disagreements too. It helps to offer choices–do you want the blue spoon or the pink spoon today? (Of course, my kid often melted down because he wanted the yellow spoon, and I never really figured out how to handle that. He just grew out of it.) I don’t think it’s spoiling a kid to say “yes” when they ask calmly or nicely, even if it’s inconvenient for you. Toddlers control so little in their world and their schedule, and they have under-developed senses of time and logic, so they probably feel like their whole day is a series of arbitrary decisions made by grown-ups. They don’t understand that going to the park right now is inconvenient for you, so I don’t know how saying “yes” when you can would spoil them.
I also work on phrasing things as “yes” when the issue is timing. If Kiddo says, “Can I have dessert?” right before dinner, I say, “Yes, after dinner.” If Kiddo asks to go outside, I might say, “Yes, after I change out of my work clothes.” It can even be conditional–“Yes, we can read an extra book IF you cooperate with brushing your teeth.” There might be whining or frustration, but I usually can avoid a full meltdown by pointing out that I said “yes.”
We take a firm line on Kiddo not getting his way through tantrums or any kind of misbehavior. As Kiddo has gotten older, I’ve made a point of changing my mind if I say “no” initially, and he stays calm and makes good arguments or comes up with a solution. (So, if I say we can’t go outside because I have help with dinner, I might change my mind if he says, “What if we go outside and set a timer for 10 minutes? And then I’ll help you cook?”) I know a toddler can’t do this yet, but you can start modeling your decision making out loud. Also, a simpler version of these negotiations starts sooner than you’d think.
Pogo says
Living this right there with you (mine is just over 2). I do as others said and attempt to avoid conflicts by giving choices, although I do limit it to one switch if I notice a pattern (like he was clearly trying to delay bedtime by refusing to wear certain pjs, demanding other pjs, then rejecting those, etc – now he gets one rejection and his next choice is it).
I also re-direct to something enjoyable, which I hope is not the same as giving in. Our common one in the evenings is having to go inside. I’ve started offering him a snack if he comes in and doesn’t throw a fit, or letting him watch a video while I cook. I mean, I get it – he’s annoyed he has to trade super fun digging in the dirt for entertaining himself while mommy is in the kitchen.
The other one that sometimes has success is bringing the cat or his lovey/doll into it. “We need to go inside because Kitty is hungry! He needs his dinner – can you find his bowl?” or “Baby seems so tired – we better get her to bed, right? Can you carry her upstairs?”
We only do time outs when he does something hurtful or dangerous (usually biting), and I stand there watching him while he sits on the time-out spot. He doesn’t usually try to escape because they do time-out at daycare (and we do very short times outs). Otherwise, I don’t physically restrain him (but his tantrum mode is not violent flailing, he stands still or lays face first on the floor wailing about the injustice of the world).
Lansbury Fan says
I know this is personal preference but I am not really a fan of containing them in a room or device.
I love Janet Lansbury and I think she would probably suggest physically restraining them. I have had to do this with my own daughter in the past and while it is hard in the moment it often passes quickly and she will soon just tantrum without the physical force.
I would be concerned about the child feeling alone or abandoned if I put them elsewhere to contain them.
Link to a Janet Lansbury blog: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2016/03/how-to-calm-an-angry-child/
Also fwiw I noticed my daughter’s tantrums hit a high point at about 18-20 months. She is now 24 months exactly and has chilled a bit.
shortperson says
agree. i am a janet lansbury follower and we just dont have a lot of tantrums in our house. when they happen i do what janet tells me to do.
Anon2 says
+2 for Janet. I remember first hearing about RIE parenting from a poster here when my oldest was an infant, and I thought she was fruit loops…but now with two kids I am firmly on team Janet / respectful parenting! It’s a mind shift from the way many of us were raised, but I’m seeing very positive fruits from this approach.
Anonymous says
+1 to Janet Lansbury.
18-24 months is a hard stage because they want so desparately to explain what they want/need but their expressive language skills still aren’t enough to explain what they want or why it is important to them.
Red is Best is a great book on this subject for kids.
Anon says
OP here. I appreciate all the advice so far. Holding her makes her REALLY mad (she’s affectionate normally but for some reason haaates being touched when she’s already upset) and was thrashing so hard I was worried she was going to injure herself. I stayed in the room once I put her in the crib – definitely wasn’t tying to abandon or punish her, just wanted a safe place to put her down where she wasn’t going to give herself a concussion. She kept crying in the crib, but the physical flailing passed when I set her down in there, and then once she was calmer I was able to ask her if she wanted to get out and go do something else. Sounds like I should investigate door knob covers so we can stay in her room without me having to put her in the crib or a headlock.
I’ve read some Janet Lansbury but the talking to her and naming her emotions (“I know you’re mad we can’t go outside right now. We can go outside after dinner.”) seemed to make things worse, not better. Maybe when she’s older and more verbal it will work better.
CPA Lady says
This is what happened to us too. I kept trying the Janet Lansbury recommendations and we still do some of it, but it seriously sent my daughter into a blind rage. I was like… uh… can Janet come to my house and help me put this into place because clearly I’m doing something wrong?
I eventually came to the conclusion that the same thing doesn’t work the same way for every single child. It really overwhelmed my kid to have additional stimulation/input/talking/touching/holding/people around when she was already over the edge. Giving her some quiet time by herself is what worked for her. I felt really guilty about it for a long time, like I was “abandoning” her or doing something “wrong”. But I got over it. Eventually you’ll figure out what works for your kid.
And then as soon as you feel like you know what’s going on, you get to re-calibrate, since what works at one age may not work at another.
Anonymous says
I find that focusing on naming the emotion but not the ‘why’ of the emotion helps. Like ‘you feel mad. Mad, mad mad. When I’m mad I take deep breaths’ and model a big breath in and blowing it out slowly. They have to calm down before they can hear what you have to say about the solution (outside after dinner not before)
I hate to preach the tao of Daniel Tiger all the time but there are a few videos that deal with regulating emotions that I found helpful (‘it’s okay to be mad, it’s not okay to hurt someone’ is one).
shortperson says
as a janet follower i would stop at naming emotions rather than try to fix them. like “you’re mad. you want to go outside. you REALLY want to go outside.” sometimes this makes my kids cry more in the moment but i think it helps them recognize their emotions. i dont think that janet’s method makes the tantrums shorter at all, when they do happen here they are often 20-30 minutes. but i think feeling heard means that they are just less common. i have a 25 month old and a 5yo. the 25 month old has only had one real tantrum, a year ago. it was 25 min long. the 5 yo maybe had 3 or so per year ages 2-4. i realize much of this may be that my kids are generally pretty easy. but i expected toddlerhood to be full of tantrums and it just . . . hasnt.
blueridge29 says
There is a book called Calm Down Time by Elizabeth Verdick that we used during the tantrum years. It is a short board book that has pleasant rhymes and gives kids ways to calm down, take a deep breath, sing a song, give yourself a hug, find an adult to talk to… It sounds ridiculous, but that silly book not only cut down on the length of tantrums, but it give you a nice way to reconnect after the tantrum. It is also a great tool to share with your spouse and/or babysitters so kids have a routine. My kids actually started to look for it when they were upset. Good luck!
Anon says
Sometimes I’ll sit down on floor not holding her but with very open body language – like arms resting palms up on knees – and just hold eye contact and nod, maybe say “you’re frustrated/mad/disappointed” or not if it’s just winding her up. She seems to appreciate the recognition amd then when it’s starting to slow down I’ll hokd up my arms and ask if she wants a hug. Sometimes no but usually yes by a bit into the tantrum and then she can get the comfort she needs to get through it and move forward.
Io says
If you have a safe backyard, allow her to go outside by herself. If your backyard isn’t safe, you should get busy setting up a place that is. Then you just say “Oh! You can go outside now without mama or wait and mama can go out too after (I finish the dishes, etc).
Also, you should replace as much of her dishes stuff with matching items. My kid used desert plates, stainless steel silverware and Matching sippy cups (now glasses) because I used to babysit and it is Not a good idea to start a meal with a power struggle. I know one mom who insists giving choices before a meal makes for a better meal, but I honestly think it’s mug’s game.
Irish Midori says
My office manager is teaming up with a friend/client and one of the partners’ wives to throw me a baby shower. (It’s a small office in a small town, just trust me when I say this isn’t quite as weird as it sounds.) I’d like to get them a hostess gift to thank them, but never got the skinny on what kinds of things would be appropriate for this. Any ideas?
Anonymous says
I would just do a thank you card and a small box of chocolates or fancy candy.
Anon. says
I gave my colleague who hosted a baby shower at work for me a bottle of wine and a thoughtful note.
LB says
Talk to me about what you did for your kid’s first birthday. Our daughter will turn 1 the day after Thanksgiving. We plan to do something on Saturday instead, but I can’t decide if we want it to be a party (where we invite friends and their kids) or just family. I know she won’t “get it” either way, so I’m not really putting a ton of planning into it, whatever form it takes. Did you get a cake/let baby eat the cake? I was hoping to hold off on sugary treats a bit longer – is that stupid?
Relatedly, are there any things you wished you’d done with baby/for baby before the first birthday? I have her baby book that I add to occasionally, but feel like I’m not doing enough memory-keeping/making type things (again, is this stupid)? So much mom guilt already…
Anon says
You sound like me with my first. You’re not a bad mom. I’ve since learned baby books and memory keepers are overrated – those were for times past where we didn’t have cell phones to take a picture every day and where experiences were much fewer and far between. Your kid’s life will be well documented even if you never touch a baby book. On what I wish I’d done more of, I would go back and tell myself to take MORE candid videos of my kids when they were small. I love the videos I have and wish I’d captured more of their sweet baby babbling and half-walking and just random Tuesdays after work.
Our first party, we invited extended family over (so including OUR aunts/uncles in the area). We had a “cute” background behind the high chair and got a mini-smash-cake from our local grocery store. Served dinner and real cake for the guests. People brought presents, so we opened them and then let her eat her cake, and that was the extent of the party. Very lowkey and very fun. After her cake, which she smashed in her hair, we had to give a quick bath and do an outfit change, so if you care about special birthday outfits, you might want two. Our families really liked the smash cake, so I’m not sad I did it, but we held off on sugary treats afterwards until she was almost 2 and we hit Halloween/fall/apple cider donut season.
LB says
Thank you! My husband said the same thing about videos the other day (that he thought we should take more), so I’ll definitely make a point of doing that.
The birthday party you described sounds perfect, and I think that’s what we’ll plan to do. Unfortunately we both have difficult relationships with our families (and husband’s parents can’t be in a room together) so we’ll need to think about a guest list, but it sounds like the smash cake and special outfit are worth doing!
Anon says
Ha we have difficult relationships as well and my parents can’t stand each other. I called each one and said “We are having one party. All of the parents are invited, but we expect the focus to be on (Kid) and not on adult drama. If you cannot be civil to Dad for the length of the party, then please do not come. But understand, you will be choosing to miss out on your grandchild’s life events. So I suggest you figure out how to make this work.”
It was tough love, but seriously. Life with kids is hard enough, I don’t need to worry about parent dynamics on top of that.
anon says
did it work? have divorced parents and trying to figure out how to approach holidays now that we have kids. I just do not want to put them through what I went through with my parents.
Anon says
We’re 7 years in and yes finally it’s worked. At first they somehow alternated (I refused to help facilitate this, so I imagine maybe they texted?) but but the time Kid #2 came along they’d figured it out. The two worst are Stepdad and Dad. They stick to opposite sides of the room and focus on the kids. It’s not a happy truce between the two, but so far they’ve kept it light enough that the kids haven’t commented on anything so I call it good enough.
For holidays, we’ve largely separated family from the days. We host Tgiving at our house and invite anyone who is around (sibling’s in-laws, friends who can’t travel, etc) with the same rules that they can’t bring drama. We spend Christmas Eve and Day at home with just immediate family. We commit to an annual event with each “side” in between early-Dec and mid-Jan, but it’s something like attending a tree lighting, breakfast with Santa, an elaborate light display at a local park, or bowling on New Years Day. So each “side” has a special event where they know they’ll get to see us and shower the kids with presents and it’s taken a lot of the pressure off the actual days.
Leatty says
+ 1 on your first paragraph
For our daughter’s first birthday, we didn’t do any sort of party. We gave her a few presents and a small bundt cake (which she refused to eat), and that was that. No regrets.
Leatty says
I should add – the bundt cake was store bought.
Anon says
I did almost nothing and wish I’d done less, lol. My MIL visited from out of town, which was nice. I made a homemade banana-blueberry cake because I was worried about sugar too. It didn’t taste that great and honestly I wish I’d just used regular storebought cake (I don’t think she would have eaten it anyway). I tried to buy a helium balloon but couldn’t get one because of the helium shortage. I bought some decorations but in hindsight it was a waste of time hanging them up. Our kid did not notice or care or have any awareness that it was a celebration for her. I might do more for 2 because she will be more aware, but I still don’t think I’m going to throw a big party.
Anonymous says
Omg give the child some cake.
Spirograph says
Yes, I let my kids have a small piece of cake on their first birthday. Giving the baby cake is not opening a floodgate of sugar, it’s just a special treat. It’s not required, but don’t imbue it with more significance than birthdays often = cake.
Kid #1 got a backyard BBQ party with a bunch our friends. Kids #2 and #3 just got a balloon and a piece of cake after dinner. Wow, now I feel like a jerk.
Emily S. says
I like celebrating, but not always a party. For my oldest daughter, we did a small party (parents, both sets of grandparents, and one family friend with one kid) around lunchtime. I picked up BBQ and a fruit tray and made the cake myself. We ate, did cake, opened presents, and then let the kids play outside. Decorations were balloons, a banner, and some table confetti. The splurge was that we had a local photographer who had been our short-term nanny come and take pictures. I am glad I did that, tho, because I could just enjoy the party and had some wonderful photos to frame. For youngest daughter’s birthday, we did the same, minus the photographer. It felt just right to have some guests, but because they are family and friends, I didn’t feel pressure to have an immaculate house and social media-worthy spread of food and decor. We did full on sugar cake both times, but only a small slice. We’re pretty strict on sugar otherwise, so it felt celebratory to let them have a little bit. Whatever you decide to do, try to relax and enjoy the milestone: you made it through the first year!
anne-on says
We didn’t/don’t do a ton of sugar, but I have very fond memories of feeding my son very tiny bites of un-frosted cupcakes I made for his birthday when he was juuuuust about ready to walk. I fed him a few bites in my lap on the floor, scooted back and held out another bite (and made my husband get his phone ready). Sure enough, the cake was enough of an incentive and he took his first few steps to me to grab some more! :)
Anon says
Just family, which was like 11 people including two other toddlers. Filled our small-ish living room with air-blown balloons and got a bubble machine from a friend. Hung up some bright streamers, couple of “Happy Birthday” mylar baloons, and that was it. Throwing balloons off of Papa for hours literally doesn’t get old, it would seem… We also did pizza, cupcakes and a smash cake.
PS: give the kid some cake. Start nurturing a health relationship with sweets (vs. it being forbidden).
Buble says
You’re doing great mama. :)
My suggestions for a one year old’s party:
1. Don’t get a separate “smash cake”. Total waste of money. Just give the baby a piece of the regular birthday cake and let them go to town. It’s just as cute and more low-key.
2. Don’t get a pinata. Maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but it wasn’t until I was hanging up the pinata at the party where my one year old was the only child that I was like… oh. There is no point to this.
3. We just invited family and friends, no other kids. At this age, the party is for you all and for the other adults who want to celebrate your kiddo, which is totally fine.
rosie says
Get a cake that you like and give your kid a small piece. I would try not to make added sugar a forbidden thing but model moderation.
If you are doing anything at all for Thanksgiving, I would suggest doing something really small for the birthday, if anything. You should get to relax and celebrate how you want — doesn’t need to be all about a baby who won’t remember whatever hoops you jump through — and particularly if you’re introverted, you might just want some immediate family time.
I did not do this for my kiddo’s first birthday, but for another present made her a photo board book. She really likes looking at pictures of her younger self and the pictures of our family that I included — it even helps as something she can look at herself when she misses me (in her crib at night, at preschool, etc.). I used Pint Size Productions — could be a nice item if you wanted to do something with printed photos, and could start a tradition of a photobook every year (or not!).
Anon says
Both DH and my families are local so we did a families-only party when our son turned 1. I kept it super simple. In the middle of the afternoon so I didn’t feel obligated to serve a meal and I only had cupcakes that I made from a box. A few streamers and balloons and done. I set one of the cupcakes in front of my son and led him take the lead.
Focus on taking good photos. I now see my SIL’s photos she takes of her baby girl and I’m so jealous/regretful that I don’t have more better photos of my son at that age. Or even at his current age. I need to get on that…
SC says
I talked about this yesterday, but we did a large backyard bbq. My parents came in town. We invited DH’s parents, siblings, and their families, which was like 20 people. We smoked a brisket, which turned out so well, it’s still legendary in our family. We bought cake and let Kiddo try a slice but did not do a separate smash cake. He was very cute getting cake all over his face, and then we hosed him off. All of this is because DH and I wanted to throw a party because we like that kind of thing and hadn’t done it in like 2 years, and it was how we wanted to celebrate everyone’s survival. I don’t regret it, but I don’t think it had anything to do with us being good or bad parents.
I have never kept a baby book or made photo albums. I like taking photos and videos, and I tag my favorites in the app, which creates a “favorites” album, and that is good enough for me. Again, I think this has more to do with personality than being a good or bad parent.
SC says
Oh, we do annual professional photos. (Actually, we skipped last year.) But we do almost annual professional photos, and I love having one picture a year (almost) with me, DH, and Kiddo together. Even if you don’t hire a professional, get someone to take some pictures of you, your partner, and your baby. And some of you and your baby. Even if you have hangups about your body or your weight or a pimple or your hair, get in the photo!
Pogo says
We did family and some close friends. It was a backyard BBQ and I made cupcakes, so kiddo got one cupcake, which he did not eat all of. I don’t think you really need to do any more than that until kiddo is old enough to start asking for what they want.
IME, giving young toddlers sugary treats once or twice is not enough for them to start wanting it more often – they don’t really remember what it is. My kid could see a plate of cookies and not understand what they are, because the only cookie he eats with regularity is a fig newton. But he has definitely had ‘real’ cookies at other parties and events – he just doesn’t remember what they are. This summer he had ice cream enough times that he now knows what that is, though.
Anon says
Will the guest lists for Thanksgiving and the bday party overlap at all? If you’re aiming to keep it chill, why not just make Thanksgiving dessert about her with some pink balloons? I’d definitely consider this, esp. if family has to drive to see you for Tday AND her bday two days later.
Healthy Littoe Foodies says
If you’re a baker, I did a cake from Healthy Little Foodies. My favorite site!
I bought tiny cake pans and stacked that cake 2-3 layers high.
It was cute. She actually didn’t like it on the day of but she did when I gave her a taste before the party. Kids.
https://www.healthylittlefoodies.com/healthy-first-birthday-cake/
Anon says
What cute things did your kids do this week? In badly need of a pick-me-up, my kids just barfed all week.
Lily says
My 10.5 month old has learned how to pick up a piece of food and put it in my (or her dad’s) mouth. She thinks it’s hysterical! The crazy thing is that if you asked me a year ago whether I’d let a baby pick up a mushy piece of food that’s been squished in her tiny grubby hand and put it in my mouth, I’d look at you like you were crazy. Now I think it’s adorable!
Clementine says
My 3 year old is going to parochial school and we just had some exposure to Star Wars. This resulted in the question: “How did God make storm troopers?”
The baby’s current favorite ‘game’ is walking one of my sandals by the (long) strap and pretending it’s the dog. Baby yells the dog’s name as she walks the sandal around the house. Tried to give her a pull toy of a dog… NOPE. Not as much fun as the sandal.
LB says
Thanks for the laugh :)
avocado says
The sandal-walking is adorable! Improvised toys are always the cutest.
My 12-year-old is now walking our new real, live, actual dog!
Spirograph says
oof, wishing you a barf-free weekend!
It’s Nats spirit day at my son’s elementary school, because World Series fever. Son decided that just wearing his Nats shirt with jeans is not enough, so he is wearing his baseball uniform — pants, knee socks and all — with the Nats shirt over the top “so people will think [he’s] on the Nationals team.” He was bummed that I wouldn’t let him wear his cleats to school.
Anon says
18 month old is saying “I love you mama” which is more like “Eye-ooo-lou, mama” and I’m basically a puddle every time.
Anon says
That’s so smart and sweet! My 19 month old will repeat “I love you” (“uv yooo”) when we say it, but isn’t saying it spontaneously yet. I can’t wait until she says it unprompted.
Anonymous says
DD is 2yrs 7months And has started putting on my heeled booties and walking around (a few steps).
Knope says
I have a 2 yr 7 month old too! He also loves walking around in my shoes :)
He has also picked up on the fact that we always ask him how his day was, and has turned it around on us! So now when we ask him how his day was, he says, “How was YOUR day mommy?” Very cute.
Pogo says
My 2y3mo also walks around in my heeled booties or my husband’s boots!
I had a headache last night and was literally laying on the floor while he played with his trains, and he came and brought me a pillow and a blanket from the couch: “Here you go mommy!”
ALC says
My 3 month old is sort of getting the hang of playing with a rattle, which is very fun! And he’s smiling and laughing a ton, such a joy.
Anonymous says
I JUST got the first laugh out of my almost 3 month old this morning. He’s my second so I know life gets easier at 3 months and wayyyyy easier at 6 months. But it was a joy :)
Irish Midori says
My first grader has recently learned the commutative property of numbers in addition and keeps wanting to explain it to me. I was halfway through a thorough explanation of community property division principles and history before I realized he was talking about math.
Anon. says
2 year old always sleeps with a favorite small toy. Last night he demanded he letter D from his set of foam bath sticker things (random I know). So last night as we were doing bedtime routine we were listing things that start with D. When I got him out of his crib this morning he showed me his little letter and told me “D for daddy and Dinosaur – ROAR” and it was just too freaking cute.
Anon. says
And to add to that story – he had been playing with the letter in the bath tub so it was all wet. Last time it was like that I used the blow dryer on it for a few seconds to dry it off before bed. So when he decided he wanted it again he expected the same and demanded “Mama, you blow the D.” — My husband nearly died laughing.
Anon says
Omg hahaha
Anonymous says
hahaha, thanks for this!
Knope says
HAHA!
Pogo says
OMG lol
SC says
The other day, Kiddo was watching TV on the couch with his pants and underwear pulled down around his ankles. I asked him why his pants were down, and he told me, “I don’t know. If you don’t like it, just don’t come in here.”
It turned out, he had spilled some water, and his pants were wet, so he pulled them down to be more comfortable. He didn’t take them all the way off because he still had his shoes on, and I guess it was too much effort to take his shoes and his pants off. So, there was a semi-logical explanation. I also made him wear pants at the dinner table.
Anon says
Omg I’m stealing that for whenever someone asks a dumb question…”If you don’t like it, just don’t come in here.” Amazing!
Anonymous says
This made me almost die laughing. I can totally hear my 3-yar-old saying it.
Mine has taken to stopping me at random times and say “Isn’t this fun, Mama?” It makes me so happy!
Anon says
My 22-month old named her baby doll after our local children’s librarian and insists on taking her everywhere and sleeping with her for each nap and bedtime. She’s also started singing the “all through the town” line in the Wheels on the Bus, yet it sounds more like “all TA TA TAAAAAA”. This age is so great.
Pogo says
Mine sings “up and down” like “up oom ba”. With the hand motions. I die every time, it’s so precious.
Anon says
Thank you to everyone for the advice and commiseration about my croupy toddler last week. The ped did want to see her and although they confirmed the croup was very mild as far as croup goes, they gave her the oral steroid, which helped a lot. We had one more night of bad/broken sleep but we managed to get a long stretch by having me sleep on her floor and then she was pretty much back to normal. Unfortunately I caught the croup virus and it’s knocked me on my a$$ this week. I don’t have the barking cough (I guess adults don’t get that because our airways are bigger) but I haven’t felt so sick since I had the H1N1 flu a decade ago. I’m very glad it’s Friday. Hope you all are healthier than me and have a great weekend with your families!
rosie says
Sorry to hear that you’re so sick! Hope you can get some rest this weekend.
Anonymous says
Sorry to hear that! My mom got croup from my nephew a few years ago and it was a weird strain of the virus. She was actually hospitalized and quarantined because of it. So it’s very real!
Anonymous says
Ladies…please wish me good luck as we take away my daughters beloved paci tonight. We’ve been reading books and talking about it, and the paci fairy is coming tonight. It’s totally time but I feel SO guilty even though it’s the best thing for her teeth. She’s been transferring some love onto a stuffed bunny so I hope that helps. But I’m very nervous we’ll get no sleep tonight….
Pogo says
We did it a few months ago and there was a lot of initial crying and asking for it, but he slept fine after that. I was really worried he’d wake up in the middle of the night looking for it, but it didn’t happen.
Anonymous says
Thank you! This is my fear as well, that she won’t wake up from a sleep cycle and go back to sleep herself. I mean we did sleep train her so we can always do it again..,we also have a baby so we don’t need anymore sleep deprivation (baby is old enough that she’s had enough time for the transition)
Emily S. says
Good luck! You might be in for a rough few nights, but I hope it is not too bad! And then you’re done with paci drama!
Anonymous says
How old is your kiddo? Maybe the paci fairy could leave Halloween candy :-).
Anonymous says
She’s over 2.5. We thought about this but she likes candy too much as it is. I may put 1-2 pieces in her present bag though.
night waking says
for the last 5 months or so, our 3 year old has woken up at least once a night asking one of us to come into her room. She usually has the same type of request–tuck me back in, help me reach my water, etc. Most of these things she can really do on her own, I think she just wants reassurance that we are there. She goes right back to sleep with no trouble, but . . . this is wearing on us. We’ve tried answering her from our bed (our rooms aren’t that far apart so she can hear us), but that doesn’t work, she wants us to actually go in her room. Asking her to come to us doesn’t work because then we have to walk her back to her room. If we refuse to go in, she will get really worked up and start crying, etc. so it is easier to just do what she asks and then leave to go back to bed. I would just wait it out and see if it resolves itself but, it’s been months and we have a new baby on the way in December and I can’t imagine dealing with the baby’s wake ups in addition to the 3 yo. Advice on how to get this to stop?
Anonymous says
No advice but I commonly hear that kids go through sleep regressions while your pregnant and it was true for us. Shockingly stopped as soon as the baby was born.
Spirograph says
+1 that kids do weird things when their mom is pregnant, so this might resolve itself in a couple months when the baby is born. You need to stock up on full nights of sleep before that, though!
When my kids have done things like this, I remind them as I’m tucking them in at bedtime that night time is for sleeping in our own beds, and mommies and daddies need sleep, too. I always love to snuggle them, and it’s always OK to call for me if they’re really scared or it’s an emergency, but otherwise we all need to stay in our own bed until morning. It’s not an instant fix, but sometimes it seems to help after a few days.
My 3 year old is STRONGLY motivated to be a “big boy,” so I’ll also play to that and remind him that big boys can pull their own blankets back on, or reach their own stuffed animals/water/whatever.
Anonymous says
If you’re going to be up with baby anyway, I would add a check in with the toddler at that time. Sometimes if you retuck blankets and give a quick pat, it will ward off a later wake up. Also, keep an eye on whether the wakeups are at a consistent time. If it’s an outside noise like a neighbor has started taking an early gym class and now starts the car at 5am everyday, you might be able to add thicker drapes or a sound proofing panel to muffle the noise.
DH and I usually check on the kids before we go to bed. I find retucking them or patting their heads at that time sometimes wards off middle of the night wake-ups. I think they can tell we are there and feel reassured.
You’re growing a person so your DH should be dealing with the night wakeups during the week at least. You can do the weekend nights.
Anon says
You might need to try the toddler/little kid version of CIO. Another option is to tell your daughter you won’t come into her room but she is welcome to come and sleep in a sleeping bag on your floor. You could also try a two way monitor so that she can take a peek to see that you are there
Anonymous says
Our son did this around that age for a while (although he came and got us; we didn’t have a monitor or anything), and it did just pass, but it was hard. Sometimes he couldn’t even really say what he wanted, but usually it was “I had a bad dream.” I don’t think that is true but he knew it was considered an acceptable excuse.
One thing we didn’t try that you could if you haven’t already is some kind of reward system for not doing it. I think at that age it might work.
Anonymous says
PS – we always had to tuck him back in.