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This is a cute spring top from Motherhood Maternity. (We’re picturing it in the plus-size version, but it also comes in regular sizes.) I can see wearing it with jeans on the weekend, or wearing it underneath a coordinating blazer for work. The cap sleeves will stay low-profile under a blazer or cardigan. I really like the bold double stripes on the section above the bump; it is especially striking on the black-and-white print with the electric blue accents. I am not really sure why they had to add a little tie to it — depending on how it’s attached, I’d probably just cut it off. This is one shirt where I actually really like every pattern that’s offered, but if I were purchasing, I’d probably do the black/white or the leaf print. This top is currently available for $29 (marked down from $34.98) and is available in XS–XL and 1X–3X. Peplum Maternity Top Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.28.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Playset recommendations/advice? says
Crossposting from main site! We have a 4 and 2 year old and a newborn. Looking to get a backyard playset that will last a long time. Does anyone have experience with tree frogs, rainbow, gorilla, cedarworks, other?
My DH thinks we need a platform height of 5.5 feet for it to last a long time – does that ring true to you if you have older kids?
I’m also concerned about footprint – some of these would take up a good 40 percent of the grassy area. We def don’t want a pool but does anyone regret giving up their open area? Maybe better off just having open space for kids to run around? (Our backyards probably 30 x 50 though, so not small).
Any other thoughts? TIA! Everyone we know with Playsets inherited them with their houses, and I’m finding this hard to learn about.
Swings says
Also check out Lifetime and Congo for low maintenance options. We got a pretty basic one (kids 3 and 4 right now) that takes up a big chunk of our free space and I don’t regret it! They absolutely love it. I think they’ll outgrow it by 7-8 but I’m ok with that, I think I’ll be ready for the yard back at that point.
anne-on says
We went with a local company that is comparable to CedarWorks and if at all possible I highly recommend trying to see the sets in person. Our kid loves the set and still plays on it a ton. I’d say based on my (highly informal) research is that the ‘fort’ part at the top gets a TON of use, so I’d go big on that area if you can. I also wish we’d added on the counter or picnic table option underneath – that is still a big area for play/hiding. I’d encourage you to ask if the swings can be easily switched – we went from a baby bucket swing to a platform swing (like a fixed frame hammock for kids) and it was very easy to do. Agreed that the slide isn’t as fun as the other swing options, and I’d have definitely added on a climbing wall if I had it to do again (though we got it was my kiddo was 18 mos, so climbing walls scared the heck out of me at that point!).
AwayEmily says
Thanks for posting this question! I am also playset-shopping this summer so these comments are super useful so far.
ANON says
If you have to prioritize elements for your playset, I can attest that my kids spend 65% of their time on the swings and 25% on the monkey bars. All of the other elements, including large expensive slides, are lightly used. The sandbox is also a big hit. The platform fort is only lightly used.
I’d try to get a playset with tall swings (so they don’t outgrow them early) and low monkey bars (that can be moved upward when they grow, as monkey bars are a leading cause of broken arms).
–Owner of a massive playset that the kids love
anne-on says
I will say that yes, sandboxes are a BIG hit, but they gross me out so badly that unless you are diligent about covering them, cleaning the sand, etc. it wasn’t worth it to me.
Anon says
We inherited ours with our house – it’s Creative Playthings and seems to be holding up well. My 20 month old spends most of her time on the slide and is only just starting to be interested in the swings, but when our older friends come over, they spend most of their time on the swings. As confirmed at the playground Saturday, most parents of a toddler don’t let their child climb 5 feet up and go down a slide by themselves, so maybe I’m just an odd duck. She was so confused when the other parents tried to help her, and I got so many judgy looks for not helping her because she can totally do it herself.
AwayEmily says
It’s may be less about your parenting style and more about your kid being particularly good at self-preservation. Not all kids are! One of my kids is very capable of safely climbing up a slide at 16 months, the other one (now 3) was a huge danger to herself until much, much later. She just didn’t “get” heights and would, like, get distracted by a bird and hurl herself backwards.
AwayEmily says
Also, sorry that playground parents were being jerks. I love seeing tiny ones who can clamber around, and your daughter sounds awesome.
Anonymous says
Whattt! I totally let my toddler climb up ladders once I saw she could do it safely. I do sometimes get a judgey comment here and there cause I’m not following my kid around at a 2ft distance and instead just watching her like “oh you’re kid is over there” and I just say “yeh I know I can see her”
Anon says
Thanks ladies. My husband constantly reminds me that I parent “differently” than most others where we live – very much in a helicopter mom must be touching distance of children until at least age 8 type of area – I’m much closer to what my husband describes as my mother’s approach of “raised by wolves.” Our little lady is thriving though, and very independent and self-sufficient, although I suspect a lot of that is genetic rather than anything to do with my parenting, I just try not to stifle it.
Emily S. says
We have an almost-4 year old and almost 2-year old and like others, the swings on our Gorilla playset are the biggest hit. (we have two traditional swings and a bucket for the baby and will switch out the bucket for a glider when she outgrows the bucket.) The “house” part, rock wall, slide, and picnic table underneath are equally used. We only have 1 bumpy slide bc tube slide or multiple slides was too much (space and money.) I thought I would regret giving over so much of my yard to the playset, but I don’t! Less grass to mow (we mulched a large rectangle to create a crash pad) and seeing the kids have fun and being active is worth it. And in a few years, we can turn it into a hammock zone. We got the same advice as your DH re: height, and compared to another family’s smaller, lower playset, a higher platform is the way to go. Good luck with your search!
Anon says
My almost one year old twins are going through what I hope is a phase. They used to not mind being left alone in a room for a minute or two while we went to change the other one. Now they freak out and sob uncontrollably like they are being left alone forever. They don’t seem to mind being alone in a room, if they are the ones who crawl out of the room, they don’t seem to mind being alone. One twin in particular, really freaks out now when I leave for work in the morning (we have a nanny). Again, she doesn’t mind going somewhere without me, like this weekend sister was sick so she hung out with daddy most of the weekend and they had a great time. But if I do the leaving, forget it. She is HYSTERICAL. Please tell me this is a phase? I used to try to sneak out, but that doesn’t really work anymore, so now I always acknowledge that I’m leaving and that I will be back. I do a decent amount of solo parenting, and it is just so unpleasant to listen to so much crying and makes me feel bad bc if they weren’t twins, then this would be much less of an issue. How long does this phase usually last?
Anonymous says
Nah this is all babies. They’d cry at you if they were singletons! It’s, in my opinion, a particularly horrid stage and I got through it by stopping at Starbucks every day on my way to work.
Anonanonanon says
Confirming that this is fairly common with babies, and holding up my triple-shot latte to you in solidarity, because I can’t imagine having to listen to 2x the fussing.
anon says
As for leaving for work, the thing that helped for us was to make the transition longer. We started having our nanny show up 30 minutes earlier. The nanny would play with the baby near me while I finished getting ready and then take her down for breakfast. Our baby always did better if she was the one leaving, rather than me leaving. Once I was out of sight and the baby was eating, I would leave without a goodbye.
We also had better daycare drop offs when Dad did it instead of Mom. The kids were less clingy and hysterical.
anon says
Fellow twin mom here. I coped by just bringing them both with me when I went into a different room. Since they’re crawling, they can follow you. Honestly, I still do that to some extent now at 2.5. “I am going to change your sister’s dirty diaper. Do you want to come with us, or do you want to stay here and play?” I’d say the other twin comes about 50% of the time.
In the case of leaving for work, agree this is all babies, and this is a place that having twins is actually easier, because they still have each other after you leave.
Anon says
I have a singleton (who stays home with her dad) and she still sobs and searches the garage for me for 20 minutes or so at 20 months when I leave every single morning even though we have our goodbye routine. She’s a mommy’s girl and we’re at prime separation anxiety stage.
Anon says
I think it’s really normal. My 14 month old is a stage five clinger. We’d gotten into a good routine with our nanny hand-off (nanny and I would start playing with her together and when she was distracted I’d kiss her goodbye and leave) but now she’s temporarily home with her dad, and I thought I could just walk out the door this morning, because, hey, he’s her dad, she adores him. Nope. Hysterical crying this morning when I left and literally body-slamming the baby gate at the top of the stairs trying to break through it. :(
Pogo says
I’m sorry to say my 21mo still does this. He would ideally like to be touching me at all times. Now that he is older and has some language skills, I do a lot of the standard toddler tricks: “Can you read a book to Bunny while mommy [does whatever]?” “If you want mommy in your room, we need to get your diaper changed. Do you want diaper change or to play by yourself by while mommy [does whatever] and do diaper later?” “Can you be a helper and find mommy’s shoes?” etc
anon says
This is a totally normal developmental stage (for your g00gle use: separation anxiety) and does tend to peak around 12ish months. Lots of great suggestions have already given and I’ll add one word of caution: try not to linger! Once the kiddo knows you’re leaving, get on out of there!
Paging So Anon says
Posting on behalf of a friend who can’t really access the internet during the work day. She is in a relationship with someone with some mental health challenges and is trying to decide how to proceed and I was mentioning the story of the internet stranger online (so many hugs to you – you really sound like super mom and your kids are so luck to have you) and she had a couple of questions about the situation/history with your STBX. Were his mental health issues diagnosed before you got married and/or before you had kids? Or did they just start to present themselves more recently. She herself has struggled from some anxiety issues herself and so doesn’t necessarily want to end a relationship with someone based on that, but also doesn’t want to sign herself up for something that is more than she can handle.
So Anon says
Hi there. Having gone through what I have, and what my children have, I do not view mental health struggles as a deal breaker. So many (most?) people have a mental health challenge at some point in their lives, myself included. Screening someone out of your life because of mental health challenges would be like deciding not to date people with brown eyes. That someone does not currently suffer is no promise of the future. Having a mental health challenge would not be a deal breaker for me; instead, it is all about how the individual handles and manages their health. Is the person willing to do the work that is necessary to manage their illness? And I mean really do the hard work that can bring you to your knees? Are they willing to talk about it, take ownership of their issues, and not put those challenges squarely on you? Cool. Game on. If the person is unwilling to do the work, unwilling to take ownership of their struggles or evidences even an iota of emotional abuse, I would be done.
For STBX and I, it was not the major depressive disorder or the OCD that were the deal breaker, it was his unwillingness to do the work that he needed to do to manage those illnesses. In addition, he has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits, and the manifestation of that in our relationship was more than I could handle (begging me to stay while acting out in abusive ways to push me away). He was emotionally abusive in ways that I am just beginning to really understand. Looking back, there were warning signs earlier in the relationship, but nothing that I could have pointed to as a definitive red flag until after we had kids. The last several years have been a steady march to our separation and divorce.
My advice to your friend would be to see whether the other person is willing to do the hard work to manage their illnesses and to be a true partner in the relationship. Also, do some research on the early signs of emotional abuse because I now realize how important that knowledge is to everyone.
Anonymous says
In my experience, willingness and motivation to manage the disorder is necessary but may not be sufficient. With some of the more serious diseases, even 100% compliance with treatment and a total remission of symptoms does not mean that there will never be another episode. After years or decades of perfect functioning, the disease may break through, overwhelm all available treatments, and destroy the personality of the person who was once your beloved partner in life. By this point you may have children, which puts you in an unthinkably difficult position. If you stay, the children’s daily lives are incredibly stressful. If you leave, your partner gets solo parenting time, which is even worse.
So Anon says
This is 100% true as well and is something I am still wrapping my head and heart around. I know with borderline personality disorder, even with the best treatment therapy and medication, it will always be his baseline of how he interacts with the world.
I have my kids all except during the day every other weekend. Even with these checks, I am now in the unfortunate position of having to push for supervised visitation after his visit with them on Easter.
Anon says
This is true of everyone though. Anyone can develop mental illness, even severe mental illness at any point in time. And anyone can get cancer or a brain tumor or have a heart attack or stroke at any point in time. Avoiding someone with a mental health diagnosis just means you are avoiding a person who recognized their issues enough to speak with a doctor, get a diagnosis and a treatment. The next guy you date that has no mental health issues could actually have a boat load but never talked to a doctor about his symptoms. It’s a crap shoot.
Anon at 11:24 says
I am talking specifically about the most serious diseases–the ones that can cause psychosis, land people in the hospital, cause permanent changes to personality and cognitive abilities, and completely destroy an entire family’s life. These conditions tend to become apparent by the person’s 20s or early 30s at the latest, whether or not the person seeks treatment. I am not talking about depression and anxiety. With the more serious conditions, you are not likely to be blindsided midway through life, and the potential partner has a legitimate right to consider the implications of the diagnosis for herself as well as any potential future children.
Anon says
Eh I dunno about that. My grandfather was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar in his 60s. There were obviously some issues there before then, but I think plenty of people make it to mid-life or later without a diagnosis.
Anonymous says
I can guarantee that your grandmother knew something was wrong much earlier.
Anon says
I don’t know why you think you can “guarantee” something about my family when you don’t know any of the people involved and (presumably) are not a psychiatrist. As I said, there were some issues earlier (although I think the earliest any problems appeared was his late 30s/early 40s) but the full extent of the problems, including the diagnoses, came much later and appeared to be a shock to his wife and adult children (including my mother). I suppose no one but my grandmother could say for sure what she suspected and when, but she told us – when he was in his 60s – that the depth of the issues and the diagnoses were a profound shock to her. Based on my family’s experience, I think it’s profoundly misguided to say that all serious mental health problems are obvious by someone’s early 30s.
So Anon says
I think this illustrates that there are no guarantees – in physical or mental health. Mental health challenges are not a deal breaker for me, but an unwillingness to manage those challenges or emotional abuse are deal breakers. And I have found that there does not need to be an intent behind emotional abuse. A person’s actions can have the impact of being emotionally abusive on the spouse or children, even if that person is not nefariously motivated. I guess what I’m saying is that it is not the diagnosis or the label, it is how the person behaves.
This Is Us says
Anyone else watching This Is Us? (slight spoilers below)
I’m really identifying with Beth and Randall’s marital struggles. It’s such an honest portrayal of what it’s really like to parent young kids with two careers. Yet I also worry that real life isn’t TV, and we won’t find the “door.” Anyone else?
Anonymous says
Meh. Real life isnt so if you’re overwhelmed you don’t foster a troubled kid and run for city council in a city you don’t life in or harp on about your childhood dance dreams as a grown up. As a real couple you got lots more options than them!
octagon says
I do think the writers have done a great job with their communication and the capital-J juggle that they have. I don’t agree with their decision to have him run for office in a different town. (Can you even do that?!?) They could have very easily taken it in a different direction, with both of their careers taking off at the same time, and trying to navigate that challenge.
Two working parents is really tough as is, and it’s so rare to see that reflected on screen.
anon says
I also think the writers have done a poor job setting up a challenge I would otherwise enjoy watching. Her choice to teach dance seems forced and more like an unnecessary “hill to die on,” which annoys me so much! There are a million things she could be doing that make life with two careers a realistic battle–why the dancing??
Anonymous says
I completely identify with their relationship and the struggles they’re having. I relate to Beth being the one always doing the “bending.” So not only do I have to do all the administering of the house and kid, plus work a somewhat demanding full-time job, but I also have to take the high road and adapt to DH’s whims and neuroses–and not get that same support back from DH. It is exhausting.
Milia help? says
Milia – has anyone else struggled with this/found something that worked? I developed bad skin including milia with my first pregnancy. Though the cystic acne has died down significantly, I have lots of milia on both cheeks. I am still nursing my 11 month old and am 18 weeks pregnant with my second so any products/treatments need to be pregnancy & nursing safe. This is really bringing down my self-esteem and causing a lot of stress (which I know may be silly, but it’s my reality) and would love to hear from anyone that has successfully eliminated milia.
Two Cents says
My understanding is that a derm can remove them very easily. I have two on my forehead but they don’t bother me so I have never thought to ask my derm, but I know they can remove it.
Anon in NYC says
Yes! Go to a derm. They can typically easily get rid of them (might be considered cosmetic – mine typically are), and can likely also give you some pregnancy safe product advice to prevent their return.
Anon says
Do any of you New Yorkers have guidelines for what kind of restaurants its ok to take toddlers to? I live in a small city in the Midwest and there aren’t really any restaurants here that we can’t take our 15 month old to. We’re visiting my in-laws in NYC in a couple weeks and they want to go to what seems like a pretty fancy restaurant with us and our daughter. It’s not a tasting menu place, but it’s $$$$ on Yelp and looks like it has a pretty upscale ambiance. We’d eat super early (5 pm-ish) but I’m still skeptical.
Anonymous says
Not in New York, but in DC I’d say that pretty much anywhere that doesn’t have a strict dress code (i.e. the fanciest places) should be fine with a toddler at 5 pm.
DCanon says
Gently — as much as folks here try, D.C. is not NYC. Sorry.
Anon in NYC says
If you don’t mind sharing, what restaurant?
I don’t have specific guidelines, but there are some obvious restaurants where I wouldn’t take a toddler (like really fancy Michelin starred places). Also, there are places I would take my almost 4 year old now but that I wouldn’t have taken her at 15 months. Or, places I would take my 15 month old, but perhaps only for lunch/brunch.
Anon says
Estiatorio Milos. It’s not Michelin-starred, but looks about one level down from that. I didn’t name the restaurant initially because if we push back on this place, they will probably just come up with something similarly fancy, so I was hoping to get some general guidelines about how fancy is too fancy. I know tasting menus won’t work because we can’t expect her to sit through them. But beyond that I don’t really know. For some reason, my in-laws are absolutely bound and determined to go to a “nice” restaurant with all of us (I don’t understand why, given that NYC has so many places with great food and a more casual ambiance, it’s not like if we avoid fancy places we’re limited to chain restaurants with bland food).
Anon in NYC says
I haven’t been there, but I took a look at some photos. To me, it does look more fancy than would be enjoyable with a 15 month old. I think you’ll be completely fine at 5pm – it won’t be crowded and your LO won’t disturb too many people – but I don’t imagine it will be a particularly enjoyable dining experience for you/DH.
Two alternatives in the Mediterranean / Middle Eastern vibe – Snack Taverna (small, casual, delicious food, West Village), and Taboon (Hell’s Kitchen, delicious food, smaller, casual). They’re both open at 5pm. They’re definitely less fancy, so maybe not to your in laws liking, but delicious food. Another possible option would be Esca in Hell’s Kitchen if they’re really more jonesing for seafood. It’s probably a middle ground in terms of fanciness, and I don’t think of it as particularly kid-friendly, but at 5pm it might be fine.
A friend’s dad sounds similar to your in laws – he always wants to take her young kids to fancy, multi-course meals, and it drives my friend up a wall because she knows what her kids can/cannot handle!
Anonymous says
Oh that place looks fine!! Annoying, in the you or your husband will need to step out with her if she’s crying, but otherwise totally fine.
NYCer says
You’ll be totally fine at Milos at 5pm. It’s a very corporate restaurant to be honest (I’ve only ever been for work lunches/dinners), and it is definitely more crowded at lunch time than at dinner. The food is quite good though!
Anon says
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the responses! My in-laws are very “bull in a china shop” people, so I just wanted to make sure we weren’t doing something way outside social norms.
shortperson says
we brought our baby to the vegas location and they were super nice. (yes i know that was not in nyc!) there was lots of interesting seafood to look at as well.
Anonymous says
What’s the place? Some of us have probably been! I wouldn’t bring a kid to Per Se or Le Bernardin or anything like that, but most places are fine.
anon in nyc says
I’m a new yorker and I think you’ll be fine just about anywhere if you head there for the 5pm seating! You can always call ahead and ask if they have high chairs. Generally if they do, they’ll be pretty family-friendly. But even if they don’t, I wouldn’t stress about it at 5pm. I don’t find eating out with my 16-month very fun or relaxing but that’s a different story. I would just be prepared with activities and for the inevitable (for me) walk around the restaurant to see the sights of all the fascinating pictures on the wall and the bathroom mirror. If you give the specific name of the restaurant, I can let you know more details if I’ve been there. Have fun!
Redux says
This is a different angle on this, but if your in-laws know someone who babysits, you should totally hit up a fancy NYC restaurant one night sans kid!
Anon says
She has pretty extreme separation anxiety right now and doesn’t have the language to understand we’d be coming back, so I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving her with someone she doesn’t know or barely knows (which includes my in-laws, she’s only met them a couple of times).. In a few years, we’ll consider this for sure.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
My husband and I live in NYC and have decided we need something bigger than our Subaru Outback (which we love) before baby#3 makes his appearance this August.
(I think) we’ve narrowed it down to the subaru ascent or the toyota sienna. Just wanted to see if anyone is driving either of these cars and has similar needs to our family and can weigh in with their experience.
We live in NYC. We use the car almost every weekend–often to run to Trader Joe’s just outside of the city, go to the zoo or the Children’s Museum, to visit family out of state, or to go up to the mountains (we’ve been out of skiing for the last few years but have aspirations to start up again once the kids are old enough to teach–our oldest was introduced to tubing this year and can’t wait for skiing starting next year). So we feel like AWD is needed.
We currently have our (almost 4 year old) in a clek fllo carseat which we just switched forward facing this past weekend (to his great delight) and our (very very small) 2 year old in a clek fllo carseat rear facing (and I’d like to keep her rear facing for as long as is possible). We will put baby#3 in a bucket car seat. I had been thinking that by the time baby#3 outgrows the bucket we would be able to move him into our oldest’s carseat and move our oldest (who will then be 5) into a booster. I am thinking that we need a 3rd row vehicle and that we will put our oldest in the backmost row and the rear facing baby and toddler in the middle row.
My husband really liked the honda odyssey. But it doesn’t come with AWD. In fact, the only minivan that we can find is the toyota sienna.
I’m not sure if I’m being ridiculous, but I just didn’t love the sienna. I am not anti-minivan but it just felt outdated and boxy.
If we don’t go minivan and instead go with a mid-size 3 row SUV: we really liked the subaru ascent (and we admittedly have a pro-subaru bias). But I’m worried it might be too small for all the baby gear we inevitably bring on our annual two week summer roadtrip back south to visit family. And my husband is worried that the backseat is going to start to feel really small as our kids get bigger.
Does anyone drive either? Does anyone have a subaru ascent with a rooftop carrier? Do you feel like you have enough space? Do I need to just get over my sienna minivan concerns?
Mama Llama says
I don’t have either of these vehicles, but I got a mid-size SUV after having my second kid, and I wish I would have gotten something with a sliding door instead. I’m parking in tight spaces frequently, and it’s tough to get the door open wide enough to get the car seats buckled with this bigger vehicle. I have found myself crawling through the other side to buckle from inside the car on more than one occasion. Something to consider, depending on the places you are typically parking.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Hmmm… sliding doors are something I hadn’t even thought about–but since we park in NYC that’s a great point. (guess that’s a point for Sienna and not for the Ascent)
Thanks for sharing.
Mama Llama says
I never thought of it when we were car shopping either. It wasn’t until my first time trying to squish myself in a door to buckle the seat and hoping I wasn’t scratching the car next to me, that it dawned on me: Ohhhhh, *this* is why minivans have sliding doors.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Ugh. I just wish more minivans had AWD. I feel so annoyed to realize that yes probably a minivan is the logical next choice for our family but the only one with AWD feels so underwhelming to me.
I’m hoping that we just got a bad taste from the test drive but that if I give it another try I might feel differently.
It’s just annoying to spend so much money on something that is so underwhelming (my mom calls this the new-roof-problem. You really need one but afterwards no one is excited to have spent so much money and have nothing they’re excited about to show for it.)
HSAL says
With three in car seats, I decided that ease of third row access was the most important thing to me, so we got an Odyssey. The second row sliding seats are truly magical. We have our twins slid to one side in the middle row and that gives just enough room to buckle my front-facing 3.5 year old in the back row. I know nothing about AWD but would something like snow tires be a workable compromise? Alternatively, the Sienna IS outdated but I think there’s supposed to be a redesign for the 2021 model year – any chance you could hold off? Having one in an infant seat makes it a little easier to get everyone in and out than three convertibles (which is why I gave up on my dreams of keeping my Honda Fit). I think they’ll have to come up with something to compete with the access you get with the Odyssey and the Chrysler Pacifica.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Ooh, I didn’t know they were contemplating an update for 2021.
Here’s a dumb question–when do they release new cars? Would you have to wait until Jan 2021? Or are they available sometime in 2020?
(We’re of the buy a car and drive it for a decade or more mentality so I really want to get one that works for us for at least that long.)
HSAL says
The 2019 Odyssey came out in May 2018, but I think it wasn’t super available until later in the summer. That’s probably specific to the make, but I think they usually come out the calendar year before the model year.
Anonymous says
I have an Acadia that I love (not on your list though) that has a third-row seat. That said, if you’re only using the car occasionally for trips to the mountains, I’d really push hard on the idea that you need 4WD. Unless you live in the mountains or plan to go off-roading, I think you’ll likely be fine in a minivan.
Anon says
We skied 3-4 times a season growing up, and after 2 winters of wrestling chains on and off the minivan with 3 kids in the car, my mom switched to a tahoe. I expect NYC may be different, but at least in the mid-Atlantic, I have to go to work long before a plow ever gets near us, so for me AWD is an absolute must aside from the ski weekends. I drive a 6 year old mid-size 2-row AWD SUV that I will probably be replacing in 2-3 years, my husband just upgraded from a small sedan to the 2019 Infiniti QX80 which he loves, loves, loves. I will probably be looking for my next car at the Lincoln Nautilus (only 2 rows), BMW x5 or the Infiniti QX60, which I test drove a few months ago when my car was in the shop and really liked (and I as a long-legged adult could sit in the back of the 2019 models we saw).
anon says
I have a hard time thinking of a situation where I would need AWD for my minivan. We have a Chrysler Pacifica and are very happy that it’s a plug in hybrid. We only have gotten gas twice in the past 12 months, which is pretty darn awesome. I hate getting gas.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Are you someone who would ever need AWD but just not for your minivan? (Like you use it on another car?) Or are you someone who just never needs AWD?
AwayEmily says
Agreed about the annoyingness of lack of AWD. I live in one of the snowiest metropolitan areas in the (continental) US and our street often isn’t plowed until well after 9am. I don’t think we could manage without AWD. We are a Honda family but I don’t think I could ever pull the trigger on the Odyssey because of it (right now we have a CRV but if we decide to go for a third kid we will need a minivan).
Pogo says
Yeah, I’m surprised by the AWD comments on here. We always have a car with AWD, and now that we have a child I’m so much more inclined to make sure we have it on one car if not both. I’ve just been in too many scary situations sliding around on the road or physically couldn’t get the car up the mountain road that I wouldn’t want to be without AWD in the winter. It sounds easy to say “don’t drive when it’s bad” but its bad like, 15% of the winter in the Northeast. And a surprising number of roads in Vermont – even near major ski areas – aren’t paved.
Anonymous says
You don’t need AWD! You barely need a car. If there’s severe snow, don’t drive. Only in American do people buy tanks for weekend jaunts and grocery shopping.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Everyone’s comments that we don’t need AWD has definitely got me thinking about whether we in fact do need it. But unfortunately I’m concerned we might. Its not just a we-want-to-go-skiing thing (although we do) or we go to the mountains a lot of weekends thing (although we do that too), but we also visit my parents in the Virginia mountains for many/most holidays. It’s very rural where they live and their road isn’t paved and we’ve had multiple Christmases where we’ve been snowed in for several days. I don’t want to find myself stuck somewhere without the ability to get out should we need to.
Anon says
What’s particularly special about Virginia, in my 20+ years of experience, is that we get snow often enough to be a nuisance, but not often enough for the state and local governments to invest in the kind of pre-treatment and snow removal equipment that would make 2WD a smart choice if you have a choice. My family in Richmond will often see snow melt and refreeze days before they see a plow. And at least in the DC-area, many companies follow the government, and these days (after one of the sno-poca-geddon scandals) with the commitment to a telework ready workforce, I find that the government “closes” much less frequently than it used to because they just let people telework, while business that follow the government are then open without such liberal telework policies. I do a lot more snow driving because of that than I ever did in Chicago or Boston when I lived there because they actually clear roads reasonably quickly. Venting done.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
I’ve now lived in Chicago, NYC, NC, and Virginia. I couldn’t agree more. NC doesn’t really know how to handle snow/ice removal either but at least everything closes down. Virginia (at least the part we’re normally in with the very rural/mountainous terrain) seems to really struggle with this the most. It’s the freezing/thawing/freezing that feels so dangerous.
Anonymous says
Maybe it would make sense to rent a car for those trips if you only need it once a year (at most)?
Anonymous says
And/or get snow tires
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
We didn’t own a car in the city until we had our son. We’d just rent when traveling. But it’s pretty crazy expensive to rent in the city (or at least it is to me when I compare it to how much it costs to rent a car per day back home). Which led to us always having to send my husband out to the airport for the (slightly cheaper) rental. Which can add one or two hours to us getting on the road (often on a Friday afternoon hoping to beat NYC traffic). Plus now we often pack our car the night before (again, one of us running bags out to the car in the parking garage while one is home with kids). Somehow the hassle of having to pick up a car at the airport and then get it packed before getting on the road with three kids has me envisioning never ever traveling anywhere again. Plus we pay for our car plus insurance plus parking so not using our own car when we travel seems almost criminal.
(NYC is actually an awesome place to have a family I swear. But just not in every way.)
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
How hard are snow tires to install/remove? Do you just leave them on for 6 months of the year when you might need them? Then store them the rest of the year (in your apartment)? Or can you drive on them year round?
(Obviously, I need to add snow tires to my list of things to go learn about on google.)
Pogo says
Yes, you leave them on for 6 months and keep them in your garage or whatever type of storage you have for the other 6 months. They don’t last as long as regular tires, though, so you need a new set every few years. Here it costs $50 to get them put on/taken off and about an hour of your time.
Anonymous says
I’m the anon at 3:14, and I also live in NYC and have a car for weekend/travel use that I love having. We plan to replace it. I totally get the pain of renting here – my original idea was actually for you to drive your preferred vehicle to DC and then rent AWD/4WD there if the weather is really bad in VA, but that may not work depending on your route. I didn’t read all of your comments above carefully b/c I know nothing about 3 kids or new cars (ours is ancient), but just wanted to throw another idea out there. Good luck!
anon says
We have the Honda Odyssey in a 4-season climate. Also test drove the Sienna and liked the feel of the Odyssey way, way more. In the Sienna, I felt like I was driving a minivan; the Odyssey felt more like the cars and SUVs I was used to. Are there days when I’m annoyed that we don’t have AWD? Yes, there are. But most of the time, the Odyssey is just fine. (And my gosh, it is the nicest car I’ve ever owned, actually.) We did upgrade the tires to make up some of the difference for icy/snowy weather.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
I really appreciate your sharing your experience–can you tell me when you’ve wished you had the AWD? I’m assuming snow. Anytime it snows? Or just under those worst case blizzard situations?
anon says
I miss it when we have a bad snowstorm and stuff doesn’t get plowed early. We just had one of our worst winters in years, and there were lots of days when driving sucked. Yet I still made it to work every day, and it had more to do with our city’s terrible snow management plans than the Odyssey. Everyone was struggling, even the folks with AWD.
*Swear to G-d, I don’t know why my city is so terrible at snow removal. We live in the Midwest. Snow is not a mysterious thing in these parts.
anon says
We have an Odyssey, and I’ve driving a Sierra with AWD in the snow (we rented one in Vancouver). I much, much preferred the Odyssey. That said, we have a Highlander for ski trips. Yes, it’s a little crowded in the back, but I have a relatively tall (but skinny) 10 year old and he’s fine back there, and will be for another couple of years at least. We do need a roof rack though, the SUV holds way less than the Odyssey.
Also, reading down, the biggest problem we had with kids sitting three in a row is the baby kicking the older kids. My kids were good at keeping their hands to themselves when the little one was at an age that he/she couldn’t fight back. Now they bicker constantly, but that’s not dangerous. Except that it’s annoying as heck.
Anonymous says
Not what you asked, but perhaps give the Outback a shot for a bit if you’re only using it on the weekends? I got 3 carseats to fit in mine (2 Diono Radians and a Britax infant seat).
That said, we ultimately ended up with a minivan. We got an Odyssey for the reasons already mentioned above, and I really like it. There’s a snow mode I believe, but we’ve not had to test it in any kind of extreme conditions. It feels much better than driving a Sienna. I feel totally fine driving the Odyssey, but driving a Sienna made me nervous, as a previous non-minivan-haver.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
I didn’t know it had a snow mode. Think I need to go learn more about this–thanks for the tip!
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Any issues with older two dropping stuff on the baby (We have a dog who generally tolerates having toys and sippee cups dropped on him since right now that space between the two carseats is “his” but I worry that my newborn would be injured if a sippee cup was flung on top of him)?
How did you put them three across–FF kid in middle flanked by RF and bucket seat to each side? Or something else?
Anonymous says
Ok you gotta chill. This could happen in any car. Or any part of your house. Or in a stroller. This is not a reason to buy a massive car you rarely use.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
I don’t think that was really necessary. This was a genuine question. If you don’t want to share how you configured your three across carseats, that’s fine, you don’t have to, but you don’t need to tell me to chill. Obviously my kids could throw something at the baby at any time but other than in the car a baby wouldn’t be strapped down for up to 5 hours at a time next to an older sibling who is seated up higher than them and likely to drop something down on him. I am genuinely curious the best way that people have found to put three kids across–obviously a lot of people do it–and I was just wondering if people have had this problem and what the best solution is that they’ve come up with for it.
Also for what it’s worth, I never said I’d rarely use this car. We currently use our outback every single weekend and several times a year take it on extended road trips. If we sell it and buy a bigger car (whether 3rd row SUV or minivan) I would assume we’d drive it just as much.
Anonymous says
Meh, not really. It was a theoretical possibility, but even the three-year-old had it pretty well impressed upon him that he was not to act like a dangerous maniac while next to the baby, and we had the 5-year-old, who was slightly more responsible, sit next to the baby. So, baby on one side, 5-year-old in the middle, and 3-year-old on the other side. That said, if there’s a dog in the equation that will be traveling with you, the Subaru isn’t going to fit everyone.
Vehicle Shopping Before Baby #3 says
Thanks–I appreciate it. That was the configuration I was picturing–oldest in middle flanked by baby and 2 year old. Dog on floor under baby’s bucket car seat. Oldest can crawl into his seat from the bucket car seat side before we click the bucket seat it.
That could buy us a year before we had two RF car seats and one FF car seat to deal with.
EB0220 says
We have a Subaru bias but my husband test drove the Ascent and said it was awful. My friends (also w a Subaru bias) had a similar reaction. They ended up with a Volvo XC90. I love AWD and find it really handy. But we ski, etc. so we do tend to drive in snowy conditions.
Stacey says
I think it might be worth keeping the outback and seeing how it goes. We have a 2015 outback with 3 across and, while there are times I want a bigger car, it does the job. Our kids are currently 2, 5, and 8. We have the youngest in the middle, started in a bucket seat and now rear facing in the Diono Radian. Middle kid is harnessed in a Radian. Oldest is in a booster. We are also an aspiring ski family and use a roof box for that.
Consider how old your kids are. Will your oldest be able to help strap the youngest? Wear about heights? DH and I are both tall, so the rear facing only fits in the middle because we want legroom. But we have long arms to reach and lift youngest from the middle seat.
We sometimes deal with the kids misbehaving. Usually it’s the youngest kicking the others. But so far it isn’t too bad. The older ones adore the younger and things like thrown cups hasn’t been a problem. I take a strict approach with this kind of stuff while driving. I take away the offending object and I have stopped the car and refused to continue until they complied. Accordingly, they usually don’t push it.
Also, consider how much you will travel with 3. I way underestimated how much we would get outside with three. We did virtually no hiking or outdoor stuff during the first year. With three kids and only two parents to carry them, one kid must be able to get out of the woods under her own power. We also didn’t do as much around town. Three will probably slow you down for a season (and that’s ok!) so there might not be any rush to replace your outback.
Canadian says
Late reply but here it is:
We had a forester with a box on top for traveling. We recently upgraded to the Ascent and love it. We have 2 kids (and are done) and so the third row will basically always be folded flat to give us room for hauling lots of stuff for road trips which we do not infrequently.
Don’t get the Ascent if you plan on using the third row for a kid to sit in. It’s really small. I would only get the Ascent if you are fine with having 3 across in the second row, which will need some car seat wrangling. The third row eats a ton of the trunk space.
If you are super anti minivan, get a VW Atlas. It’s the only other option we considered. We ultimately decided we don’t need that big of a car. But the third row in the atlas is super usable – ie you can fold up a second row seat while a car seat is installed, for easy access to the third row. Family members have the atlas and love t.
Our key requirements were 7+ seater, AWD and no premium fuel. If you are ok with premium fuel you have a few other nice options (Volvo, Acura).
awd says
I’m in the NYC suburbs and got the Sienna to go with my Subaru outback due to AWD. We have hills that get icy and I am very happy to have the AWC capabilities
We knew our only option was the Sienna at that point so I didn’t test drive the Odyssey which would have been my other go-to. This was pre Subaru minivan.
I prefer driving the Subaru but the Sienna is fine. But I generally view vehicles as utilities rather than luxuries
Anon says
I feel like there were some people here who said they’ve been to Paris with babies/toddlers? We’re going next week with a 14 month old who isn’t walking yet. We hope to do a lot of walking around the city (with her in a stroller) and a lot of eating, but beyond that we have no real plans. I would welcome any suggestions for what to do! We’re staying in a pretty central location and don’t plan to use the subway, because I’ve heard that’s a pain with the stroller (and we like walking anyway).
Pogo says
Caveat that I didn’t actually have kids, but I always thought Parc Monceau and Jardin de Luxembourg had great kid-friendly attractions – as opposed to Tuileries or Champ de Mars which are more just a place to walk through near famous places.
I don’t think the metro would be bad with 14mo in an Ergo or similar.
Anonymous says
That is a great age to travel! If you are taking a stroller, research in advance handicap accessible entrances. When your child is sleeping and you want to visit ___ museum, it will come in handy. We had this problem at the Louvre. We found great parks all over Paris. Sadly, my favorite was at Notre Dame. However, we also really enjoyed the carousel and playground in the Tuileries. We were there when my child was about 18 months, he loved people watching in sidewalk cafes.
shortperson says
we brought our 12 month old and she loved a puppet show for babies/toddlers. went to lots of restaurants at opening time. i think her fave thing was the day at versailles. she loved the gardens and the hall of mirrors. also the bakeries and chocolate everywehre and all the playgrounds.
Anonymous says
We went to Paris with not-yet-walking 13-month-olds and had a great time. We’ve been to Paris a lot before and plan to go back again, so we weren’t too concerned about hitting tourist sites and mostly just walked around a lot, like you plan to. Bakeries are great for grabbing lunch or snacks to eat as a picnic while kiddo crawls around. We also had luck with bringing napping babies into restaurants that weren’t crowded and let them nap while we ate a sit-down lunch. There are playgrounds EVERYWHERE and we found that most playgrounds had some structure that our kids could enjoy even though they couldn’t walk yet (steps and slides to crawl up, tunnels to crawl through, sand boxes, seesaws,etc.)
In terms of things to actually do, if you can figure out a way for your family to enjoy museums (we usually targeted them for after lunch and had the babies nap in carriers while we walked through them), my favorites are Musee de l’Orangerie (small, so pretty quick) and Musee d’Orsay (more of a committment). Jardin de Luxembourg is also fun to walk through, especially in spring when the fountains are running–14 months is too small to get one of the toy boats but she’d probably enjoy watching them. There’s a nice pedestrian walkway along parts of the Seine. If you’re up for a train ride out to Giverny, Monet’s Garden will be beautiful this time of year. The walk up to Sacre Ceour will be a workout with a stroller, but it’s a great view. I like to go to markets and browse around, but if you go at a crowded time with a stroller it will be a pain.
Seconding Pogo that the metro with a baby in a carrier is totally doable. We also took our double-stroller on the metro once (we wanted to go to a place that was a 2-3 hour walk away from where we were staying, so took the metro there and walked home). If you don’t do it at rush hour and have 2 adults to carry stroller + toddler up and down stairs, it’s really not bad.
Anonymous says
I went with my 20 month old and it was lovely. We brought an umbrella stroller with a shoulder strap and that folded up easily (and stood independently) and were fine on the subway.
Our kid was a great stroller-napper, so we mostly just walked everywhere and ate some leisurely lunches while he napped. There were tons of little playgrounds and carousels he could play on (maybe not as fun with a younger toddler).
Jardin du Luxembourg was great and had a playground (small fee for playground). Jardin des Plantes was our favorite though– less crowded, with a small zoo. We went to the zoo early on a weekday and there was hardly anyone there, and the people that were all had young kids.
Tuileries Garden was nice too.
One thing I wish we had done better was planning out rainy day activities. We went in mid summer, so maybe you’ll have better luck, but we had many more rainy days than rainy-day-activities planned.
Anonymous says
Parisians take strollers on the Metro allthe time!
Anon says
My friend who lives in Paris told me stroller + metro is a bad plan (she doesn’t have kids though). Regardless, I’m not sure my little one would handle the subway well (she hates noisy, crowded places) and we don’t see much need for it, since most things are walking distance and we’re not trying to follow a packed itinerary.
Thanks for all the suggestions! Good point on rainy day activities – I probably need to do more research about what we’ll do if it rains a lot.
Anonymous says
Sure- you’ll have a great time just walking. I just didn’t want you to rule the metro out entirely. It’s really ok, especially not at rush hour.