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What I love about these flats is that they are a flat shoe that is delicate like a heel. I think they’d look cute both with a lightweight springtime dress and also with nicely tailored pants or ankle pants. The shape of the toe gives them a more formal feel than a round toe, but I like that it’s not fully pointed. I feel like at my age, I’ve seen round-toe and pointy-toe shoes go in and out of style a few times, and so my brain likes to settle somewhere in the middle. I also like that they have a strap, which always adds to wearability for me. They are available at Anthropologie in sizes 36–41 as an online exclusive for $149. They’re also available in what they’re calling pink but to me looks more like bone. Beyond d’Orsay Flats This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
I am going back to work soon and my 5 month old is starting in a nanny share. She usually takes her first nap 1.5 hours after waking up at around 8:15 or 8:30. Drop off for the share is at 8:30. Would you try to get baby to bed a little later and hope she wakes later so nap falls a little later? Or just roll with it and hope she can handle staying up 2-2.5 hours before her first nap? I know this will only be a problem for a few months, but I feel like I just FINALLY figured out a good schedule for her where she’s not overtired and goes down easily for her naps and now I’m about to pull the rug out from under her :(
Annie says
I don’t think changing bedtime will change when she gets tired in the AM. I’d just ask the nanny what she wants. The nanny will probably get the kids on a great nap schedule anyway since it’s in her interest.
Anonymous says
I would roll with it. Nanny can put her to nap right away. I definitely arrived at daycare many mornings saying “she’s ready for a nap”. She may also sleep longer since the stimulation wears them out.
octagon says
+1
Also, and it pains me to say it, but her whole sleep routine may shift as she adjusts to the nanny share. So don’t be too upset if everything is off kilter for a bit. She should sleep better as she gets used to more stimulation!
Anon says
Just have the nanny put her down as soon as you arrive.
Anon says
I know some people disagree, but shifting our daughter’s bedtime later always made her sleep later. If she was going to sleep 10 hours, she was going to sleep 10 hours, regardless of when she went to bed. She had a 10 pm bedtime for a really long time, because a night from 10-8 was a lot nicer for us than a night from 8-6. It was only when she started sleeping 12+ hours straight (which happened around 7 months, I think) that we switched to a more normal baby bedtime. I think it’s at least worth a shot to see if a later bedtime translates to a later wake-up and a later first nap.
Anon says
I can’t help with your question, but just curious – how did you find your nanny share? Trying to find one now but having trouble.
AwayEmily says
My mom got up early to babysit my too-sick-for-daycare cranky monster of a 15mo this morning (husband out of town and I have a meeting I can’t miss in a few minutes). I’m going to relieve her at noon but any ideas of something nice I could do/bring/make to her this weekend to say thank you (we are going to see her on Sunday).
Spirograph says
Maybe I’m ungrateful, but I don’t think this calls for anything more than a hearty “thank you.” That said, in my family, it never hurts to bring food. I would probably make a batch of cookies or a couple loaves of banana bread and take a portion of it over along with a big hug.
anne-on says
My mom would almost be insulted to be thanked profusely for this but consumables would go over well – some homemade sweets, a bottle of her favorite wine, or a nice potted plant/hanger for her porch or garden would all work well – agree – $15-$20 range max.
Anonymous says
Oh sweet! My mom would have wanted nothing and loved a pretty hand lotion or Korean face mask.
FVNC says
In this kind of situation, my mother appreciates a nice bottle of wine or nicer grocery store flower bouquet (both gifts in the $15-20 range).
Anonymous says
I think this sounds good. I’d be more likely to bring her a fancy coffee or lunch when you relieve her, though.
Pogo says
+1 This is what I do.
anon says
I realize this is too late for the OP, but I also text on my way home to ask what she wants me to pick up for lunch. (If I ask *if* I should pick something up, she’ll just say “No, I’ll defrost something!” or whatever.)
AwayEmily says
thanks all! I usually stick with a hearty thank you but this one involved her getting up super early, canceling her appointment, and then dealing with an unusually fussy kid. I think I will bring a nice bottle of wine this weekend.
So Anon says
I have my son’s first IEP meeting this afternoon for a determination of his eligibility. He has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (level 2). He is a rule follower and rarely get in trouble. He struggles with writing (actually forming the letters on paper), figurative language and communicating his reasoning in math. His biggest challenge is on the social and emotional front. He has no age-appropriate social relationships, when requested that he work in a group he will actively disengage, and he does not respond appropriately to others’ emotions. I am concerned that they will not qualify him for services because he is doing ok academically. Any advice for this initial meeting?
Anonymous says
Approach it collaboratively. Guarantee they’ve seen lots of similar kids. The child study team has expertise. Share what you know about your kid and where you see him struggling. Listen. Ask questions. This is going to be a long term relationship and it’s in your interest to approach it that way.
anon says
+1. There are a lot of online communities that sort of advocate going in, guns blazing, but remember that you’ll have a relationship with these people for many years to come. So, yes, absolutely advocate for what your son needs, but assume good intent and that people want to help (unless proven otherwise).
Be upfront about his challenges and limitations, as well as what helps him thrive.
mascot says
So he struggles with writing, doesn’t work well in groups, and has difficulties in figurative language and communicating as it relates to math. Honestly, that doesn’t sound like he is excelling academically. I’d worry that these are building block skills that need to be in place if he is succeed at higher grades and I’d probably say as much to the school. Just because he doesn’t present as a conduct/behavior problem shouldn’t mean his needs get ignored. No specific advice, but I’d ask a lot of questions so you can understand how the school can address his needs now to set him up for later success.
Anonymous says
I work on the legal side of special ed. Generally, the evaluation will need to document that there is an adverse effect on his education and it’s hard to say without knowing more. If the school determines he is not eligible under the autism requirements, encourage them to look at whether he might be eligible under something else (like a learning disability or emotional/behavioral). If a child is eligible, the school needs to provide services for all needs– so he should be able to get help with social relationships even if he qualifies under something else.
If he is not eligible, ask for the school to determine whether he is eligible for a 504 plan. If eligible, he could receive services and accommodations, but wouldn’t have goals like in an IEP.
anon says
Definitely emphasize where his deficiencies are. Will his teacher be there, and have you meet with him/her to discuss? When we went through this for speech therapy, I had met with my son’s teacher and she was able to document his deficiencies and support my observations, which I thought was helpful to our conversation. (It turned out that he was ineligible for services, which didn’t come as a surprise, but I’m glad I went through the process.)
Worried says
While dropping our infant off at daycare, my husband found a small marble- literally perfect choking size – on the rug of the infant room, right next to the babies who were crawling and playing on the rug. We’ve been happy with our daycare otherwise, and I think this is probably just a fluke thing where one of the older kids brought it in (they come in the infant room in the morning). But I can’t stop worrying today. I mentioned it to the teacher; that’s all I can do, right?
Anonymous says
Yes. That’s it!
LittleBigLaw says
I can’t tell you the number of times my kiddo has actually picked up something that was a potential choking hazard in our generally well-baby-proofed home. Even in the best environments, nothing is perfect. I definitely wouldn’t take it as a sign on its own that there’s an issue with the quality and/or safety of your daycare.
Anonymous says
My son’s preschool teacher discovered a wrapped (unused!) condom in the coat room/entry way one day. We’re all still trying to figure that one out.
Worried says
Ack! Ok that is way worse. I’m overreacting here I think.
Anon says
I don’t think that’s worse actually. A toddler has no idea what a condom is used for and a wrapped one shouldn’t be a choking hazard (and since it was wrapped it presumably just fell out of someone’s bag, it’s not like the condom was being used at the daycare). I take things that could kill my kid way more seriously than things that might necessitate an uncomfortable conversation.
Worried says
Very true. Gah, parenting is stressful and scary!
Anonymous says
It was mostly funny, but potentially A Problem because it was a public UPK program subject to various surprise Dept of Ed and Health Dept inspections.
News says
Just found out I’m pregnant with my first. Trying to decide when to tell parents and siblings. I found some old posts here about telling coworkers and bosses, but how about telling family – when did you do it? Did you wait til you were physically together?
Anon in NYC says
Congrats! I told parents/siblings at about 11-12 weeks. In person for in laws / my mom / DH’s sibling(because we were all together at a family event), and I think my dad was in person too (tbh, I can’t quite remember). Over the phone for my siblings because of distance.
Pogo says
I told everyone at Thanksgiving when we were all together, because it worked out timing-wise. But if it was far from a holiday or get together I might have done it over the phone?
CPA Lady says
I video chatted with my mom who lived out of state and told her after my first OB appointment (around 8 weeks). I showed her the ultrasound print out. She was really confused about what it was. We had been married for 7 years and she thought I was not going to have kids.
Redux says
My parents had no idea what they were looking at either! It’s a really funny generational gap– they had never seen a pregnancy ultrasound before despite having three babies (meanwhile, my generation invented posting a picture of this intimate body scan on social media to announce it to the world…).
HSAL says
My brother tried to announce with an ultrasound picture attached to one of the gifts during a Christmas present gift swap. My grandma didn’t know what it was when she opened it but my 5 year old niece saw it and immediately said “that’s a baby picture.”
JTM says
We live 1000 miles from our families, so we told our moms immediately (legit I called her as soon as the test said “positive”) and we told the rest of the family via phone around the 12wk mark.
Lyssa says
Congratulations! We tried to tell in person if there was an opportunity, but if there wasn’t, that was OK. For my first, I invited my parents out for dinner and gave them a present (ultrasound picture in a frame that said something nice about grandchildren). My in-laws lived far away, so my husband just told them by phone. For my second, my parents were far away, so I called them on facetime to have my son deliver the news (via t-shirt). We were going to see my in-laws about a month in, so we waited to tell them in person that time.
In both cases, we told family pretty much right away, and I figured it was fine that I would want them to know if there was a loss. I’ve never seen the appeal of keeping it a secret that some people do. But I understand that some families have different dynamics and may not want to let them know right away.
Anon says
We live far from our families and didn’t see them very often, so we pretty much had to call them. We waited until we had a successful 14 week ultrasound to tell anyone. I hate people feeling sorry for me and wanted to minimize the odds we’d have to discuss a miscarriage. I think I’m abnormal in this regard.
Anon says
Err sorry it wasn’t a 14 week ultrasound. Just the 14 week appointment where we heard the heartbeat.
HSAL says
My mom has this special birthday calendar with tokens for all the family birthdays. With my first, I just mailed her a blank token and wrote “for October” in the card, and that was probably 6-7 weeks. With my second (that became my second and third), we wanted to wait and announce to both sides of the family at my husband’s dissertation defense right at 12 weeks, but the night at dinner with my parents, my older daughter just casually mentioned “there’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy” because she’s the worst. We hadn’t talked about it for a month! We still announced to his the next day.
Redux says
I love the calendar token! That’s so sweet.
Anonymous says
We told my dad and my husband’s parents at 8 weeks. We waited longer to tell everyone else, maybe 11-12 weeks.
Knope says
I told my parents around 9 weeks via video and my husband’s parents around 10 weeks in person. I would have liked to wait a week or two longer for both, but we were going on a trip with my in-laws at 10 weeks and it would have been weird to not tell them then, and I wanted my parents to know before that. Told everyone else around 12 weeks.
Spirograph says
The only clear memory I have of telling anyone I was pregnant with my first was when I told my boss. I know I told my family sometime around 10-12 weeks, in a combination of phone, email, and snail mail (sister was living abroad and we did real paper letters). Definitely not in person, because everyone lives far away and we did not see each other terribly often before there were kids to lure grandparents. DH told his parents over the phone. I found out in July, and the news had trickled out to extended family by Thanksgiving.
Mrs. Jones says
Our family doesn’t live in town, so we called and told them around 8 weeks.
DLC says
My family lives across the country from us so the first and third kid we told my family over FaceTime. The second kid, it timed out well to send my parents a framed ultrasound picture and they called us as soon as they got it.
My husband’s family, we weren’t quite ready to tell, but them we were all in town for his mother’s funeral and his aunt point blank asked me in front of everyone. So that was awkward.
We’ve always waited quite late to tell – between 14 and 20 weeks. But I tend to be super private about these things. I like to grow my baby without fuss and get my bearings before letting the world in on it. So really, it depends on your own comfort level.
old mama says
we actually called and told our families and best friends the day we found out. we were on vacation and it was so fun hearing them scream. Also, we had been married almost 14 years and thought we couldn’t have kids, so it was even more emotional. it is one of my most cherished memories.
this was at the five week mark. we ended up miscarrying at 12 weeks. And I will honestly tell you that I’m so glad we told all of “our” people. I had a really, really hard time with the miscarriage. and I mourned the loss for months. in fact, it is still hard for me. I was so thankful to have my people walk along side with me in sadness and grief. it made it feel more real that I didn’t have to pretend nothing was wrong (which I, of course, had to do at work).
of course, you do you. some people may not have felt that way. but I wanted to offer a different perspective. we ultimately got pregnant again and have a child now. but I still love that my family knows about the first pregnancy. having a real life baby doesn’t erase my previous loss. and they understand that. and it was scarier the second time we found out we were pregnant. there was fear of miscarriage mixed in with the joy. so, I’m glad I have the memory of the first time where it was pure joy.
HSAL says
That is beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss and am so glad you were able to have a child after that.
Old mama says
Thank you so much.
rosie says
Sorry for your loss. I just wanted to add that I was in a similar boat in that I was glad I told close family & friends about my pregnancy before having a miscarriage. I was glad I got to be happy with them and glad to have their support (for the most part…) after the loss.
TheElms says
We waited until we heard a heartbeat to tell parents/siblings, which was around 8 weeks and did it on the phone since we are all in different cities and had no travel plans coming up for another month. We told extended family after we got the results of genetic testing, around 13 weeks, which happened to coincide with spending Thanksgiving with some of my extended family, so half got told in person and the half we didn’t see at Thanksgiving got told on the phone.
Anon says
We told my family at 5 weeks in person because we were seeing them for Christmas and I was puking everywhere and all the time, so there wasn’t going to be any hiding it, and then we videochatted with my inlaws that same day and told them because they would have been offended if they’d found out later than my family if we had waited to tell them in person.
Quail says
We don’t live in the same area as our families. We were going to a family reunion at about 8 weeks with my spouse’s family, so we waited until we were in-person to tell his parents and brother. We called my family from the airport on the way to the reunion. When I told my dad we were having a baby, he said, when? Like in a few years? And I said no, February! And then he got it. (We’d been married for 7 years at this point.) We told extended family and friends around 14 weeks.
With our second, we weren’t going to see anyone in person until it would be quite late, so we called and told our families at about 11 weeks, after we got the results from the genetic testing. I’m 18 weeks now and there are still people we need to tell directly (i.e., not through social media) and we just haven’t gotten around to it…we are still excited, but it doesn’t feel as pressing to announce this time around.
So Anon says
For our oldest, we were going through fertility treatments. I found out that I was pregnant very early in the pregnancy and waited until a few appointments had passed and things were looking good to tell my mom and sister with whom I am very close. We waited to tell our inlaws until the first trimester had passed because if something happened, they would not have been a source of support. With my daughter, I waited several weeks to test. I tested Christmas Eve morning and told my mom and sister that day. With all of the telling, I think it was all over the phone due to distance.
Anonymous says
I told my sister on the phone when I was 6 weeks because we were going to an alcohol-centered event and I told her I would drive. We told my in-laws who live on one coast via coffee mugs that said grandma and grandpa in the language they grew up speaking. We had the mugs mailed, but included a note that said they had to open on Facetime. We told my parent who lives on the other coast also via Facetime, but her gift was a three part picture frame with her other two grandkids in the first two frames and a print that said “Baby Anon Arriving August 2018” in the third. I liked surprising them, but was worried an ultrasound would be confusing (even though the tech wrote baby with an arrow pointing to the blob in the middle :))
Wow says
I told my mom around 4 weeks, but only told the rest of my family after the genetic testing had been complete, so around 14 weeks. I didn’t want to jinx anything and also wanted to make sure everything was normal before announcing the good news.
Given the high rate of miscarriage, I’m always surprised that people announce so early, but you do you. I had an earlier miscarriage at 8 weeks with my first and was very happy that I had not told anyone at that point except my mom because it would have been way too painful to tell everyone the sad news after announcing such happy news.
Anonymous says
Congrats!
Told BFFs immediately and waited to tell parents until 12 weeks… based on the idea that 1, I needed to tell my besties and 2, there was no way I was going to discuss a potential problem, miscarriage, etc with my mom. So basically we only told people before 12 weeks if we were also going to be okay sharing bad news. Told parents in person bc they are local, also the rest of the extended family after that.
Told work around… 14 weeks with the first maybe? I told my boss, and then strategically told one blabbermouth ? but tell your direct boss FIRST.
Anonymous says
We told both sides of the family on Christmas day. (Santa gave us a little sleeper!). We were in person with my husband’s family and FaceTimed my family (who were all together) later that morning. It was about 8 weeks. I told my 2 best friends the same day. NO ONE else was allowed to know until after I told work at about 16 or 17 weeks. (that almost killed grandma!!). Then we let most people know via messages etc. We actually got married at ~20 weeks; i wanted to do the broad unveiling at the wedding, but with events leading up it would be hard to keep it a secret (and see above re: MIL DYING to tell) people and we didn’t want there to end up being 1 person at the wedding who felt like the last to know. (That DID happen… but they are the kind of people who are chill about that kind of thing).
Anonymous says
I love how MILs act like they’re being physically tortured to keep a secret. My MIL was clearly angry at us for being asked to wait until we got genetic testing back to spill the beans. While we tell family/best friends after seeing a heartbeat, god forbid I don’t want 40 extended in-laws knowing if I have a miscarriage. I do know this comes from a good place of excitement though.
anon says
Congratulations!
We waited until after getting the results of cell-free DNA testing and the NT scan to tell anyone, including family, so around 12 weeks for us. We had a prior loss and weren’t comfortable sharing the news any sooner than that. Both of our moms HAD TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY, so I’m glad we didn’t tell them before we were ready for everyone else to know. It was hard enough to manage their excitement as it was!
Coach Laura says
Tell on Mothers’ Day!
anon says
DH’s extended family figured out that I was pregnant about 2 days after we found out (and maybe 2.5 weeks past ovulation) because I wasn’t drinking at a family wedding. I had water at the airport bar, didn’t drink beers at the wedding set-up, and declined the champagne toast in the hotel lobby before the rehearsal dinner. So, everyone had figured it out well before I ordered about a dozen “vodka sodas” at the rehearsal dinner. We just tried to keep it low-key and say it was still early and we were there to celebrate BIL and SIL.
(Fun addendum, a few hours after the (afternoon) wedding, BIL and SIL came down to the hotel bar laughing about getting walked in on by the hotel’s turn-down service. Apparently, there was a condom mishap, SIL got pregnant, and our kids were born a few weeks apart.)
Coach Laura says
That’s a great addendum!
Pogo says
My day started at 2am with a screaming toddler who only wanted to sleep on my actual face from 2-5:30 a.m., then husband’s alarm went off so he could take back to back calls with Asia, and then on the way to daycare I realized I had a flat tire.
Honestly just amazed that I managed to get toddler and myself where we needed to be and didn’t forget anything. Anything else I accomplish on this day is a bonus.
Cb says
Oh no, that’s the worst! Sending you all the caffeine. We’ve been doing better with sleep lately but Baby CB sang to himself until 8:30 last night and woke up so crabby at 6:30. He learned how to say ‘I want’ this week and just kept making more and more demands, ‘I want cuddles’, picked him up ‘I want cuddles in different room!’ I have Tuesday AM off with him and honestly, I was super happy to drop him with dad and head to work.
Anon says
Oof! What a miserable morning. Hope things get better.
Anon says
Solidarity. My day started at 5 am (for context, we all went to bed around 11 and typically sleep until 8:30) with a screaming toddler who also wanted to (not) sleep on my actual face. After one failed attempt to put her back to bed, I hauled her into bed with us, which ensued the face snuggles, head sitting, kicking and punching that is an uncomfortable but wide awake toddler. At 7 am, DH turned on Sesame Street, followed by Megamind (surprisingly cute) in an effort to at least have her sit still while I closed my eyes and then begrudgingly got ready for work.
HSAL says
Those nights are the worst. Last night I was up nursing one twin at 11:30 and the other at 12:30. While nursing the second, my oldest started puking. Got her cleaned up and back to bed around 1:15, then woke up to more puke at 3:00, nursing one baby at 3:30 and the other at 4:00. Then my husband was puking at 5, and my alarm went off at 6:16. Pretty cool morning at my house.
anon says
sounds like your family has the stomach bug like my family had a few weeks ago. we only have twins though, i can’t imagine also having another and if I recall, your twins are over 6 months – i don’t know how you are surviving still nursing in the middle of the night! wishing you a restful night tonight
Pogo says
yikes, you win. Puking bugs are my least favorite of all illnesses. I am so sorry!!
So Anon says
Hang in there! I’m not sure why kids feel the need to make actual contact with your face, but I remember that well. And yes, some days just getting everyone out the door is a huge accomplishment!
FVNC says
That is a legit terrible, horrible, no good very bad morning….but I lol’d at “sleep on my actual face.” I hope the day improves! I would say, it can only get better–but I don’t want to tempt fate for you.
GCA says
All the coffee, and solidarity! Hope things look up for you & all of us the rest of today.
I’m still pumping and dumping for the moment (long story), so we have to actually get up in the middle of the night to make baby a bottle. Unfortunately her one wakeup to eat is typically right around 3am… I should’ve gone to bed earlier than midnight, but I had to prep for a looong call with Europe and then get up early for that.
octagon says
What a rough morning! Those are the days I get to work and silently sip my coffee for a few minutes longer than usual, and appreciate the fact that at work, I’m only responsible for myself. Here’s to an easier bedtime!
Pogo says
yes!! that was exactly it. My boss and admin were both so nice when I came in and shared their own flat tire horror stories, which was supportive. It reminded me it could always be worse!
Anonymous says
Solidarity! Normally good sleeper 2yr old was up for 2hrs last night (WHY?), I have to pee every hour as I’m 28 weeks pregnant, and our dog got up twice to go out. Oh and my DH gets up at 5:30 every morning. I find that in addition to coffee, eating healthy (even though I want sugar) and drinking a ton of water helps.
Anonymous says
YOU CAN DO IT.
anon says
Yep, you’re done!
Anon says
We just had my daughter’s 15 month appointment. She has really good receptive language skills but is still not really talking (maybe one or two things we could call a word if we’re being super generous). Our ped didn’t seem too worried and said even if she has a speech delay there’s nothing to do about it until 18 months, so basically we just have to wait. But I think what concerns me is that she pretty much only makes da/duh sounds. She will sometimes yell mama when she really wants my attention and very occasionally we’ll hear a ‘bla’ sound (usually an attempt to imitate something we’ve said that starts with “bl”) but mostly it’s da/duh over and over again all day long. Is this normal or a sign of other problems? I feel like I hear about kids her age saying hi, bye, car, uh oh, no, etc. and it’s not just that she doesn’t have these words – she doesn’t even have any of the sounds necessary to make these words. Does anyone have suggestions for how to help her make other sounds? (Our ped’s advice amounted to “read to her!” which isn’t super helpful…we read to her a ton.)
Anon says
My daughter is similar – astoundingly advanced on the receptive language but very slow with the expressive language. She had 6 words by 18 months (which is what the pediatrician wanted), and most of those came in months 16-17 (hi, bye, eye, mama, dada, no which was more of a “nuh”). We’re still only at 9 words at 20 months (we’ve added this, teeth, nose) and we do all the reading and singing and talking and my type A personality is struggling to accept that she will speak when she is ready and not a moment before. I also try to prompt her 2-3 times for what she wants repeating the words (she’s a big pointer and “this” is her phrase for everything) in an effort to encourage her to speak. We also have a lot of face to face conversations and make silly noises at each other which she sometimes mimics back.
Pogo says
That’s frustrating that the ped didn’t offer much, but they do assess based on the distribution of ‘normal’ for kids of a certain age – so it is possible your kiddo could be at the very tail end of normal, and they have to wait until she’s truly in the ‘delayed’ range to refer you.
If it is something like low muscle tone that is keeping her from being able to form those other sounds (which is something at least two people I know have had addressed w/ EI in their toddlers), encouraging her to use a straw can be helpful (rather than a sippy).
Anon says
The ped said she is probably delayed with respect to expressive language (they want mama and dada plus 3 other words by 15 months and she doesn’t have that), but basically the ped just said that speech therapy isn’t normally started before 18 months because a typical kid doesn’t have the receptive language to get much out of it before then. So basically the diagnosis is “delayed but nothing to do about it until 18 months.” Ped also seemed pretty optimistic she would just have an explosion between now and 18 months, especially since her receptive language is normal.
That’s good to know about the straw, thanks. She doesn’t use straw cups. But otherwise her fine motor skills seem pretty average.
Pogo says
Ah, ok! That makes sense. I know for the two of my friends that had this issue their kid was also a major drooler. Once they worked w/ a speech therapist (I think they have them do exercises like blow bubbles, etc) their ability to make sounds increased dramatically and the delays went away. But the straw was also an easy fix to try at home.
Anon says
She is also quite a drooler so perhaps the straw is something to explore further.
IHeartBacon says
If/when you get her straw cups, make sure to pick up a straw cleaner as well. E.g., https://www.amazon.com/Starbucks-Cleaning-Bristle-Cleaner-Washing/dp/B00DKDOKEG/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2QPENJ6JUW3TW&keywords=straw+cleaner&qid=1556650097&s=gateway&sprefix=straw+cleaner%2Caps%2C276&sr=8-5
Anon in NYC says
That is such a good point about the low muscle tone. A friend’s kid has low muscle tone – all over, not just, like, facial muscles – and I would never has guessed it because he otherwise walked / did other things within the range of average. He’s now doing some form of physical therapy and it’s helped a lot.
Anon. says
Story time only to say – you’re not alone. My kiddo had basically no words (similar to you – maybe one or two if generous) at 15 months. For comparison – he did not say Mama until roughly 18-months (which was breaking my heart – he said it for the first time while he was staying with Grandma while husband and I were on vacation). I was trying to be super chill about it and then my ped recommended a speech therapy appointment and I of course freaked out. Her reasoning was that while he wasn’t technically delayed on speech, it would probably take at least a month to get the appoinment scheduled and by then things were likely to have improved which would result in us either cancelling or getting a reassuring diagnosis. And if not, at least we’d started working on the issue early. She was right – by the time we got in to do a speech therapy consult around 17 months, he had picked up a bunch more words and was 100% developmentally normal according to the specialist after thorough review. Now he’s a non-stop chatterbox at 22 months that I can sometimes understand.
Does she do any sign language? Both the pediatrician & the speech therapist said that signs could count as words early on – it was more about the communication than the verbal skill. The therapist recommended reading as well and also asking him to repeat words after us. She said to try three times and then to let it go before it became a power struggle.
Anon says
Thanks. She’s invented some of her own signs and will do them when she hears a word she recognizes. If we say “eat” (even in passing – like if I say to DH “What time should we eat?”) she will mime eating, for example. But she doesn’t seem to be using them for communication, eg. she doesn’t sign eat to tell us she wants to eat. I definitely want to teach her more sign language and help her use signs to express her needs.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a similar story about my first. Barely any words at 15 months, so we got a number for early intervention, just in case. We were told to wait a month or so, to see if anything changed. And sure enough, he did have a language explosion between 15-18 months. He’s now 3 and talks A. LOT.
I definitely relate to how you’re feeling, OP, and I know it’s frustrating to hear just wait and see, but I think some kids do just go until the last possible moment of normal and then suddenly acquire a bunch of language.
Pogo says
My kid is pretty textbook on speech milestones, but he JUST started repeating words after us super recently (21 mo). I remember the ped telling us to do that an earlier appointment and we tried, but he would just stare at us while we repeated “Can you say ‘blue’???” overenthusiastically. Maybe it works for some kids, but I don’t think it did anything for ours.
Anon says
My first son was a late talker (barely said anything until 20 months) and now is a chatterbox 3 year old who spouts out SAT words on the daily. My second is also a late talker…and I’m calling the ped today for an evaluation. I’m not “worried” per se, but my first at least babbled and tried to say a few things, whereas my second seems to have no interest in forming words and just grunts all day long. He has great receptive language and advanced physical skills, but I’m starting to get uncomfortable with his lack of progress in actual talking. All that to say, it could be normal and she’s on the cusp of an explosion, or she could need a little help. I would make a big effort to talk and read more with her until her 18 month appt, and then ask for an evaluation if you haven’t seen improvement. But don’t worry – this seems to be a common issue and she is still plenty young enough to get the support she may need.
Anonymous says
My little one said Mama “late-ish” (a solid 5 months after he learned ball, bear, dada and NO). His first words came at 11 months and he had about 5 words until about 16 months when he had an EXPLOSION of vocab, including Mama. By the time he was 18 months he was saying (correctly) 70+ words with new ones almost every day.
shortperson says
my kid pretty much only said mama until 16.5 months. then she started talking. we stopped writing down her words at 18 months because it was too many. she just turned 19 months and is now saying sentences and all kinds of words: “cucumber” “panda bear” “more tape please” “[sister name] crying” “i’m a plate” (after her sister said “i’m a cup”).
Anon says
Not sure if you are coming back to this but my son had very similar speech patterns— focused on the “d” sounds. It ended up being speech apraxia and he had a ton of difficulty with the “b” and “m” sounds because he could not move the muscles in his lips together naturally. We got early intervention right at 18 months because, like you, felt that something was off at the 15 month appointment. Big thing I would recommend in addition to straws is to have her eat a lot of popsicles and other foods she needs to naturally move her lips for and blow bubbles and really try to get her to say “m” and “b” (and “p” eventually) words as much as you can. Then plan to do the evaluation at 18 months and if she has a speech explosion you can cancel.
Anonymous says
I have excellent verbal skills now, but barely spoke until I was 2. At 2, my language was perfect. My mom doesn’t know why but said I basically only said enough for her to be sure it wasn’t a physical issue.
anon says
a friend just texted me to let me know she is in the hospital being induced (she is 38.5 weeks). i know she could have a potentially long waiting game. for those of you who’ve been through something similar (i spent 48 hours in the hospital unexpectedly before delivering, but knew i was having a c section) is there anything nice i could do for her? or just let her be and spoil her after the baby is born?
rosie says
If it was not scheduled, maybe offer to do anything at her house that she might have been planning to do before her due date — meals, baby-related “stuff” procurement, house cleaning?
Or you could see if there are any clear liquids she wants. My hospital had chicken broth, but I am veg, so having someone bring me veggie broth in a carton during my (semi-urgent/not-scheduled) induction was nice. Or things like coconut water, popsicles in her favorite flavor, etc.
Anon says
Ask before you bring broth – I couldn’t have anything except water after the induction started. I was induced with a Bishop score of 0 and was fully dilated and ready to push about 6 hours after they placed the cervical softener, so hopefully she won’t be in for a long ride.
I would say just check in on her via text with words of encouragement and then spoil her after the baby is born but I know I had a very fast/smooth induction and it doesn’t go that way for everyone.
rosie says
Yes for sure. I was also going to say that you could see if she wants any books, magazines, or games/cards. I wouldn’t have used any of that, but if it’s slow going, she might want some of those items but might not have had a chance to gather things.
Oh and maybe make clear on your texts that you don’t expect a response.
Anonymous says
I’d let her be and just send presents afterwards. Unless she has a pet or another child at home that needs attention. And you never know, my sister was induced (before her due date) and it only took 6hrs. Just send a hearty “Good luck!” Text.
shortperson says
ditto. “good luck” and then no more texts until you hear about the baby was born, unless you’re an ob or doula or her mom!
So Anon says
Moving help: I need to put a few things into storage in order to get my house ready to sell. I have a very heavy antique cabinet, bins of seasonal decorations and rarely used items that have been boxed. I know that I will need help to move the cabinet. I’m considering renting a storage unit and hiring people to move things into the unit or getting a pod to put stuff in (will still need to hire someone to move the cabinet). Has anyone used pods and have any thoughts? Or a resource for hiring people to move just a few things?
Anon says
We have College Hunks Hauling Junk that I have used for interior rearranging at a flat fee per hour (and also to haul away stuff that goodwill won’t take). You might see if there is something similar in your area.
Katy says
Help wise moms! I am flying to Europe with my toddler (23 months at time of flight) in a couple of months. The flights are a long Western Canada to Germany leg + short connecting flight to Italy (woo!)
I have searched the comments / internet and learned the following:
– if you can swing it – buy a seat! We did that.
– Transport Canada requires some kind of 5 point harness for a child under 2 in their own seat (carseat or you can get separate straps)
– if you are going to bring a non-bucket seat through the airport, get the “wheels” so you can roll it.
– bring lots of snacks / clothes / wipes
– train your kiddo to watch a movie
My questions that weren’t answered, that I would love some insight on:
– the flight (on the way there) is overnight. I am optimistic that the little one will eat / change into PJs and then sleep for for a good chuck of time. I feel that 9 hours would be a long time to be strapped in a car seat, which will also “infringe” on my seat. For a flight that long, do you guys recommend the car seat or would be be more comfortable lying across the seat / me??
– do i really need the straps? that seems like a worse option for sleeping than a car seat…. i would plan to put the lap belt over him + blanket for the sleep. Could i just hold him for takeoff (seeing as he is still allowed to be a lap infant)
One other general trip questions:
– will having our “big” stroller in Europe be too much of a pain? (UPPA Baby Vista)….
– the advantage of having this is that i know he will sleep in in. (friends had a nightmare experience travelling with LO who couldn’t seem to sleep in a small umbrella stroller)?
– the disadvantage is the size (fitting in the bank of Euro rental car / in restaurants etc.)
– we won’t be in big cities / need to take public transport much… mostly small towns in Tuscany.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE!
Cb says
I haven’t done the long flight since my son was 10 months old but friends seem 50/50 on the carseat versus the straps. We do the reverse trip and my parents have a carseat so I’m not hauling our massive Joie 360 across an ocean when we go back for Christmas.
A friend bought a blow-up footrest and she said it made a huge difference for her kids, they can lie almost flat. Amazon reviews are mixed on whether all airlines allow them but if you stick them in the window/aren’t in the exit row, I’m not sure anyone would notice.
We were travelling last week with an umbrella stroller that didn’t recline at all and weren’t convinced he’d nap in it and he did really well. We added a Skiphop sun cover which helped a lot. I’d vote for a better quality umbrella that reclines a bit more and chancing it. An Uppababy is a bit of a tank, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with it abroad.
Anon says
My DD is only 15 months and she sleeps better on our laps than in a car seat, buuut she typically does not sleep much on planes, even redeyes. It’s ok though! We get there and she sleeps for a crazy long time and then is fine.
Re: umbrella stroller, that’s all we have so I can’t comment on the comparison. My experience in Europe is mostly in France and Italy but the big American strollers are definitely much less common there. I can see them being an issue in restaurants, which tend to be pretty cramped. DD is not a stroller napper so we do make time for a mid-day nap in the hotel, but honestly it’s not a big deal. DH and I enjoy a little siesta and I like getting out of the mid-day sun. We don’t try to do a ton, but I’ve never felt like we missed out the destination or didn’t see and do plenty, before and after the nap. Ymmv though.
DLC says
We took our Uppa Vista with us to England when our daughter was 2 and it was really great to have. First- when you have to navigate older streets, the maneuverability and ride is very smooth, which is nice. Also- the napping thing was key for us. And the huge under basket is very helpful when you are schlepping things around. For fitting in cars trunks (and for sending it though the security conveyor belt) we took the big rear wheels off and the seat off and the whole thing actually is pretty compact when folded. (We didn’t know that you could do this with the wheels, a TSA agent had to show us one time). My husband loves loves loves this stroller and the annoyance of having to fold it up once in a while for him is worth having it.
Anonymous says
I am a huge fan of the CARE harness. It gives more room in the seats, allows me to avoid bringing the car seat onto a flight. Without the car seat, there is more room for the kid to wiggle, including as a last ditch effort, standing at my feet. I try to enforce staying belted in but it gets hard to enforce when the kid is tired and it is a long flight. I think the car seat would be better for sleeping but my kid has rarely slept well on overnight flights partially bc he gets too excited about flying
Redux says
On the topic of where to put him to sleep, we took an overnight transatlantic flight with our 26 month old and I was *shocked* that they wouldn’t let me hold my sleeping kid for takeoff. He had to be in his seat with his seatbelt on. Which obviously woke him up. I was so mad (and then he was awake for the remaining 7 hours of the flight that I had planned for him to sleep for the entirety. Don’t ask me how we survived the next day; I truly have no idea). I think the safer bet is to have him sleep in his carseat so that if for some reason they enforce the every-passenger-in-her-seat rule (takeoff/landing/turbulence) you don’t have to wake a sleeping kid.
Anonymous says
Every flight I have been on requires a child over two to be strapped into his or her seat for takeoff, landing. They require seatbelts for others in these situations because it is safer. In the same way, it is safer for the child.
Pogo says
Yeah, takeoff and landing everyone has to be strapped down. And I’ve seen on some flights they made people take their lap infant out of the soft carrier they were in.
For turbulence as long as you have your seatbelt on you are fine (even if laying down across multiple seats like mentioned below) – I just always belt over the blanket so they don’t have to wake me when they do the checks. I’d do same for kiddo, I wouldn’t forgo the lap belt before sleeping, because then you do risk having to wake them up.
Katy says
Thanks for the feedback.
FYI for Canadians – unfortunately AirCanada expressly forbids the footrest things (with diagrams on the website…) Shoot.
Also – i had no idea that the Uppa Baby wheels came off (without wrenches or similar)
Redux says
Oh for sure, I really should have known better. This is the rule on the several dozen domestic flights we’ve been on with this kid, too, but for some reason I thought there might be a little leeway for an overnight transatlantic (that was 3-hours delayed departing JFK…).
rosie says
That sounds rough. We haven’t attempted this long of a flight w/my kiddo, but she tends to fall asleep in her carseat on the descent only (even on a cross-country that got in 5 hrs after her bedtime…), so I sympathize.
Redux says
We fly a lot (we’re two plane rides away from both sets of families– who are in different cities) but this was our first time attempting a red-eye. My kids have been pretty predictable plane-nappers apart from this one trip where we needed it most!
Anon says
Why are you shocked that he had to be strapped in for takeoff? That’s a universal rule. Also why does being strapped in for the first 15 minutes of the flight prevent him from sleeping for the remaining 7 hours? If he couldn’t go back to sleep, I suspect it had more to do with lights or noises during the plane ride keeping him awake, not the fact that he was briefly woken up for takeoff.
Pogo says
I haven’t done a long flight since mine was in the bucket, but for a recent domestic trip we used the Cosco Scenera Next per rec’s on here. I was going to strap the carseat to our stroller (while I wore LO in Ergo) for wheeling through airport rather than purchasing single-use item (the wheelie thing) but at the last minute, DH voted to nix stroller entirely. He said quote “that car seat is so light I can carry it with my pinky” so I said, fine, you are responsible for it in the airport. He literally just carried it or plunked it on top of his rollerboard upside down but we were not doing much schlepping on this particular trip.
I have thought the same thing about a redeye with a toddler – I feel like the Fly Legs Up or inflatable foot rest would be preferable to being strapped in a car seat. During the high season it’s unlikely but the last couple times I’ve travelled to Europe for work have been in the winter so I saw moms letting their kids sprawl out across multiple empty seats in the back of the plane – though I suppose you could always gate-check the car seat at the last minute if you find out the flight isn’t full and you want to try this.
Anon says
+1 Yep that car seat is crazy light. I’m not a strong person at all and I flew solo to Hawaii with a 25 pound non-walking toddler, a stroller, a carseat and a backpack. It was no big deal because I could just put the carseat over my wrist. DH bought this gigantic backpack for it, but it looks so ridiculous and is really unnecessary – I think the backpack weighs almost as much as the seat. My kid haaaates that carseat though, so she is only in the carseat during takeoff, landing and very extreme turbulence.
Pogo says
Yeah, I have read that a lot of kids hate it (maybe here? or other places) – it’s so no-frills, I can see why. But I also can’t imagine it’s much more uncomfortable than being squished in an airplane seat as an adult. Fwiw, my LO didn’t complain and slept well in it on our last trip.
Anonymous says
I am 100% on Team Carseats for Long Flights. Our last transAtlantic trip was with two 22-month-olds and left about 4 hours after their usual bedtime. We got to the airport a little bit earlier than usual, changed them into pjs, and got them to fall asleep in carriers on us. Once we boarded we installed the carseats, transferred sleeping babies (who did wake up slightly in the process), patted them for a couple minutes until they fell back asleep, and then they slept in their carseats for the next 6 hours while we got to sleep in the seat next to them and have space to put down the tray table to eat, etc. It was pretty magical all around.
Going home was a daytime flight, but they were totally content and comfortable sitting in their carseats for the whole 8 hours (with some breaks for diaper changes, etc), whereas I don’t think they’d have been as comfortable in the big plane seat. These are not kids who are used to long car rides, either. Our daily daycare commute is about 6 minutes and maybe once every couple months we drive somewhere an hour away. We use the Scenera Nexts , which are light to carry and narrow enough that they don’t impinge on your plane seat.
Re strollers, we’ve traveled with an umbrella stroller that does have some recline, which seems to be a good compromise of easy to fold, easy to carry, smaller footprint, but still okay for naps.
Anonymous says
Am I the only person that does not bring a car seat or other straps onto the plane for my 2.5 year old and 6 year old (and never have once we outgrew the bucket)? I mean, given that I have never seen any other child using them on any flight I’ve been on, I’m going to guess I’m not, but I think this site obviously skews to a more paranoid crowd…
Anon says
I think some airlines have minimum height/weight requirements for sitting unrestrained alone in a seat. Any 6 year old should be fine, but 2.5 is a different story. Also while I admit I’m personally paranoid about safety (and purchased a seat for my newborn for that reason) most people here are talking about using car seats for convenience, not safety. I fly a lot (50,000 miles or close to it most years) and I see kids in car seats all the time, even toddlers under 2 who could sit in a parents lap. A lot of people do not enjoy holding a squirmy toddler on a long haul flight.
anon says
our twins are turning 1 soon and we are having a very small bday celebration with one set of grandparents, and 3 sets of friends with kids. should we invite our nanny? most people seem to invite their nanny’s but i don’t want her to feel obligated to come with her 8 year old daughter on a weekend, nor do i want her to feel like she has to bring my kids a gift.
one that note, would it be weird for me to give our nanny a card thanking her for all of her help over the past year. i mean i know it is her job, but we overall really like her and i cannot imagine surviving the past year without her.
thoughts?
anon says
She will probably give them a gift whether or not she’s invited, so I’d go ahead and invite her! We invited our nanny both years that she worked with us. She didn’t attend their first birthday but did come for their second. She gave gifts both years.
I think it would be lovely to give her a thank you card! I would probably stick a Starbucks card (or whatever her jam is) or something in there, too, just because she might expect a bonus or something if she sees a card (I totally would in that situation) and then feel a smidge disappointed if there’s nothing inside.
Anonymous says
I feel like I always see nannies invited to birthday parties, sometimes friends’ nannies, too, because they hang out so much during the week.
I don’t think a card expressing genuine thanks is ever weird. It’s always lovely to tell and show people how much they mean to you. I would combine the two — give her the card, and say, “Were having a small birthday party on [date]. We would love to have you celebrate with us, and your daughter is welcome, too. No pressure, I know weekends can get busy!” Unless you’re giving everyone the no-gifts instruction, I don’t see a good way around that one. The nanny may feel awkward showing up as the only empty-handed guest.
anon says
+1 to all of this!