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Like most of the commenters here, I’ve been using picnics and eating outside as a source of entertainment lately. For my son, who can barely sit through a meal at the table, eating outside provides him with enough stimulation and things to look at that he actually eats more, and tries food that he normally would object to. Mealtimes become a source of entertainment, instead of a slog (no? just me?). I’m thinking that picnics are going to be incorporated into our routine more frequently this summer, and a dedicated picnic blanket might be necessary. I love how this one has the classic red-and-white checked pattern, folds up into its own carrying case, and is machine washable. No more grassy throw blankets in my house! This is $23.95 at Target.com. Picnic Time Vista Blanket
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
WWYD? I am 12 weeks pregnant and waiting for my NIPT results. As long as the results are good, we were planning to share our news with family/friends in the next two weeks. I have a 2.5 year old who knows she’s going to be a big sister for maybe a minute and then moves on.
Plot twist: My SIL (husband’s brother’s wife) called last night to tell us that she’s 4 weeks pregnant and they’ll be sharing with everyone else as well. It took about a year for them to get here (ecptoctic pregnancy, trying again since January).
I’ve been along for her journey and she shares a lot of information with me, but we’ve been not as forthcoming on our end just because we tend to be private people. I miscarried in December which is another reason why were especially cautious this time. No one in my husband’s family knows about the miscarriage.
Now we feel we need to give them their time to shine and hope everything goes well for them. I’m nervous for her because it’s so early. Since who knows the next time we’ll see my husband’s family due to the lockdown, we probably could get away with not sharing until around 20 weeks which gives her the first trimester to be the “only one” pregnant. I’m not a big social media user so I’m not concerned about info being “leaked” if we told my family and our friends. I would just feel bad that my husband can’t share a big part of his life over all of the Zoom calls for another 7-8 weeks especially when we were mentally prepared to share soon.
Clementine says
I would personally call and tell BIL and SIL first – and frame it as how excited you are that the cousins are going to be the same age!
Also, she’s (they’re) gonna have whatever feelings she’s gonna have. My general rule is that in a case like this, you let them process those feelings privately as a courtesy. I wouldn’t change your plans and the fact that you’re 12 weeks will make it clear (hopefully?) that you didn’t hear they were preggers and immediately rush out and get a resident in your uterus to keep up.
Anonymous says
+1. You’re being very kind, but as someone who also had a lot of fertility struggles, I would feel uncomfortable if I knew you’d gone to such great extents to let us have the spotlight. Very sweet, but you deserve to chart your own path as well.
NYCer says
+2. I would tell SIL and BIL as soon as you can and then share with the rest of your family/friends on the same time table you were planning.
HSAL says
I agree with Clementine.
I also wouldn’t trust that your two and a half year old wouldn’t spill the beans – right after we found out, we told our daughter (who had just turned two) that Mommy had a baby in her tummy and she was going to be a big sister, and then never mentioned it again. We were waiting to make the announcement to both families at my husband’s dissertation defense at 13 weeks. The night before his defense, my parents were at our house for dinner. There was a lull in the conversation and she said “Mommy has a baby in her tummy.” It had been almost two months since we’d talked about it!
Doodles says
My husband’s family would be upset if they found out weeks after my own family and especially weeks after our friends. If you otherwise have good family relations, I think you owe it to the future grandparents to share the news before sharing with your larger circle. So even if your reasons are noble, I wouldn’t wait so long to share with his family. I would call the BIL/SIL and share with them first, giving them time to process privately, and then call husband’s parents.
anon says
Personally I’d share ASAP for the very selfish reason that if something goes wrong with her very early pregnancy, it will be even more awkward to share.
I’d probably call your SIL and BIL first so they are the first to know and share how excited you are to have cousins close in age.
Anon says
That’s a really good point about the potential awkwardness.
Anon says
Thanks all so far. Based on your input, I think we’ll stick with our original plan of telling around 14-15 weeks pending that everything goes well with my results and their pregnancy. I don’t want their situation to force me to tell before I feel comfortable doing so.
Anonymous says
It sounds like they have already taken their opportunity to share with the family. You do not have to embargo your news indefinitely to avoid hurting their feelings. Plus if you are already waiting a couple of weeks from now they will still have an opportunity to have the spotless
Anonymous says
I’d just tell SIL privately first and then live your life. All this time to shine stuff is utterly absurd.
Anon says
This. You didn’t get pregnant AT them. Unless someone interrupts your wedding to get engaged, I have no patience for people who think others are “stealing their thunder” or encroaching on their time to shine or whatever.
It’s very considerate of you to think about your SIL’s feelings but the answer here is to tell her privately to let her process, not completely upend your plans.
Anon says
I remember being a bridesmaid at a wedding wherein the MOH announced her engagement at the rehearsal dinner. Bride was gracious about it; however, the MOH had been dating her bf for a decade and could have found, you know, any other time to announce her engagement. So tacky.
Anon says
I’d tell them as soon as you’re comfortable doing so according to your original timeline. I would also tell them one-to-one vs as part of a large family announcement. As someone who got pregnant after 2.5 years of trying/intervention/surgery, I’ve found that being told one-on-one about close friend/family pregnancies has been easiest for me to process while I was facing my own issues so I think your instincts are spot on.
This will give up my identity no doubt, but my sisters and I were all pregnant with our firsts at the same time – three of us had babies within 8 months. Two of us had significant fertility issues, including me. Birth order went IVF sister, no intervention sister, IUI/surgery (me). It could have been very messy and emotional, but I promise we were all just so elated for one another/ Frankly, having it out in the open should one of us lost a baby was probably for the best too so we could appropriately support one another through that. Also, having cousins of a similar age (they’re all now 2 year olds) has been the absolute best. Good luck and thank you for being so considerate to ask the question.
Eek says
Tell whenever you would feel comfortable telling! I say this as someone with a history of infertility and pregnancy loss. Being “the only one pregnant” isn’t a big deal, in my opinion, and I would’ve felt weird if I found out that someone hid their pregnancy for that reason.
Plus, the reality is that first pregnancy announcements are generally more exciting and get more attention – so if this is your second, people will be happy for you; but it isn’t quite the same as with #1. So it’s likely that they’ll get more attention and baby showers, etc. anyway.
Anon says
I think you’re being sweet but also… is this your time to shine? It’s their first right? Hopefully they will get extra attention anyways. We got very little attention for second and third pregnancies and that felt right. You don’t do a shower, etc. let your daughter get attention for becoming a big sister. But for you, eh? Also love the cousins the same age angle!
Anon says
I was in a similar situation as your SIL. I got pregnant with my first and told family when I was about 10 weeks along. She got a positive pregnancy test with her third very shortly thereafter (a surprise, given fertility issues and they weren’t in treatment) and did not tell us, or anyone, until long after she miscarried because she didn’t want to steal our spotlight.
I wish she had felt comfortable speaking up. She deserves to have her pregnancy celebrated, then mourned. As I said to her, it wasn’t like she planned her wedding the week before mine. Pregnancy happens.
Clementine says
Bad mom gut check here.
I have a kid who was in Pre-K this year, but was very young for their class. The cutoff here is December, so we did send kid this year but ultimately – and the pandemic really sealed the deal for us – we decided that for social/emotional reasons, kid will do another year of Pre-K before going to Kindergarten.
They’re doing a graduation (responsibly). Am I crazy for just… noping out with my kid? Like, if we had been in school and everybody was practicing together, I wouldn’t have made kiddo sit on the sidelines,but I don’t feel like I need kiddo to go to a ‘graduation’ when we’ll get one next year?
Looking for external validation on the graduation issue. On the ‘repeating Pre-K’ issue, my kid’s teacher is in total agreement that it’s the right call. Also, it’s so wild when I talk to friends in other states where the cutoff is like June 30th when ours is December.
HSAL says
Definitely not crazy. She won’t miss it, and it would be more confusing for getting participate.
HSAL says
Weird autocorrect. That should have said “for her to participate.”
Boston Legal Eagle says
Totally fine, especially this year. No need to bring your kid in to do a socially distanced/masked graduation if he’s not even graduating!
BTW our cut-off is Aug. 31 and I think it makes the most sense. Obviously someone will always be the youngest but I feel like going to K when you’re not even 5 and may be about 5 months away from 5 is early!
Anonymous says
This. My kids are November birthdays. It doesn’t matter if the cut off is June, September or December (different rules in various Canadian provinces). The cohort is all within a year of each other.
Your decision on graduation makes sense especially in the current climate.
Anon says
I feel like in this environment people are opting out of LOADS of kid events anyway (in-person, virtual, class-like things, purely optional things) so my guess is you will be far from alone in skipping it, and you have a pretty valid reason to.
Ms B says
We are noping on all kinds of stuff this year with The Kid. Kids do not know about this stuff if you do not tell them and yours will never miss this.
And speaking as the kid who was always the youngest in the class by months (born months after the cut-off but sent early) and whose own kid is one of the oldest in his class, also definitely the right choice. The Kid has almost a dozen kids in his grade who did either PK or PK3 twice (his daycare allowed parents to pick which one to repeat) and there are no regrets among the parents.
AnonLaywer says
My dad was the youngest in his class and to this day – 60 years later – regrets that he started kindergarten when he did. My brother is the oldest (born right after the cutoff) and my parents were very deliberate about not sending him early.
Anon says
Nope, not a bad mom. I’m a curmudgeon and I hate these “graduations” from every little class and activity (it’s almost as bad as snack culture :P). It’s not a major accomplishment to graduate from preschool. Opt-out guilt free.
Anon says
Actual bad mom here: I don’t think you’re ever wrong for noping out of any pre-K graduation.
Anon in Texas says
We skipped my son’s Kinder Zoom graduation and I don’t feel bad at all. He didn’t even know it was an option, he hated the class Zoom calls and it was during working hours when we are already stressed to work from home. This is not even in the realm of “bad moms.”
Anonymous says
Nope perfect opportunity to skip the graduation. FWIW cutoff here is 10/1 but a good half of summer boys are red shirted. My daughter is an October bday and she’s like the 8th oldest in her class!
Walnut says
We’re keeping my kid in daycare an extra year, because our local school district has signaled that they are unlikely to be in school this fall anyhow. I feel bad, because my kid is pretty bored with daycare, but such is life. We’ll skip daycare preschool graduation as well (especially since he’s not graduating.)
Anonanonanon says
Dedicated picnic blankets are great but I have completely given up on refolding any of the ones I’ve ever purchased. They always come with some carrying bag or some fancy way to fold it and zip it around itself and I have never been successful post-picnic in corraling my family long enough to stand there while I figure out how to do picnic blanket origami.
Anon says
Counterpoint: I love mine, and we use it in backyard and at the pool and all over. It’s very slim and easy to brush off. And with a little practice it takes like 20 seconds to zip up
anon. says
I got a Monkey Mat years ago when my kid was born (side note – awesome baby gift) and it’s perfect. You literally just shove it into its own pouch, no fancy folding. I have given them as gifts since then!
AnonATL says
Getting ready to pack my hospital bags, and I’m trying to figure out what to wear home and pack clothing-wise for the hospital. I was originally thinking something like yoga pants and a nursing tank/boxy tshirt for most of my post-birth stay and 15 minute drive home. I am worried how that would work if I ended up needing a csection, and was thinking something like Old Navy’s swing dress would be comfy and loose. I’ve also heard that your stomach muscles can be pretty sore after a v*ginal delivery, and a waistband doesn’t always feel great. I figure worse-case I can stay in the hospital gown while I’m there, but will need something to wear home. I’m in metro-Atlanta so it’s going to be hot when my little guy arrives.
Am I overthinking this? Clearly I’m a ftm trying to prepare for the unknown.
ALC says
I wore my maternity leggings home, and it was totally fine. I’d bring both yoga pants and a swing dress if you have room for both so you can decide what to wear when it’s time. I also note that I brought several pajama/leggings+tee outfits and really only needed one to go home, as I was more comfortable in the gown for my stay at the hospital. YMMV.
anon says
I had tons of hormone fluctuations post-delivery that made me run super hot. I’d consider packing some soft knit shorts instead of only yoga pants. In the first few days I also wasn’t a big fan of just a dress without shorts underneath b/c the pads underneath felt less secure without pants/shorts.
NYCer says
I had a c-section and wore normal lululemon leggings home from the hospital (the same leggings I wore TO the hospital – non-maternity FWIW). I had no issue wearing leggings after a C-section.
This was winter in NYC though. If it were summer, I might have (probably would have) worn a dress.
Lyssa says
I had some old, stretched out, drawstring pj pants that were absolutely perfect post-c-section (they weren’t even maternity, actually, just really loose). Maternity yoga pants were also comfortable. I would avoid dresses for a c-section because they will want to look at your incision, so you’ll constantly be having to pull it up.
Good luck and congratulations!
Tea/Coffee says
Not overthinking!
I think it’s smart to prepare in case of a potential C.
I would not plan on wearing the hospital gown any longer than necessary – i found them scratchy, uncomfortable, and I wanted a little more support for the mesh-panties-plus-ginormous-pad combo.
I am pretty sure that I wore maternity pants with over-the-bump panels and a nursing tank on the way home with both kids. I Believe, but do not know for sure, that the over the bump styles would be easy on an incision. However they were both winter babies so maybe if you have a soft pair of shorts or pajama shorts with the big panel?
Congrats!
Anonymous says
Random suggestion: I wore my going home outfit to the hospital to pack lightly. I changed into it right before we left and then got into a gown as soon as we got there. So then I just took a robe, one pair of sweats, 2 nursing tanks, and a long jersey waterfall type thing for over the tanks. I wore the hospital gowns when we didn’t have visitors, which was most of the time. I’m guessing I stuck in an extra pair of underwear, but don’t remember. I just planned on wearing the hospital-issued materials.
Pogo says
Agree with others. I wore maternity leggings and pj pants. At the hospital I could 100% control my thermostat so I had it like an icebox in there, temp not a concern (except for husband who was in a hoodie and blanket for part of my labor… ha!). Would def pack a pair of some kind of pants that you aren’t too concerned about getting really bloody, since I had a big accident which is why I noped on the mesh panties (they were like… TOO big almost and the pad kept sliding around??), but for me that was really only an issue for about 12 hours PP, and then combined w/ my return to the Depends I had no accidents whatsoever.
And yes, your stomach can be sore, but depending on how you push so can your back and arms… be prepared for that! I felt like I’d been run over by a truck AND done a crossfit workout. But that was gone in about 24h.
Emily S. says
I’ve had two c-sections and wore different things. For the first, I stayed in the hospital gown for 2 days, then a nursing pj top and shorts and a robe for day 3 (I’m in the South, too, but hospital rooms are cold!) and a nursing dress to go home in. Second time around, I wore the gown a day, then nursing pj top and shorts and robe on day 2 and a nursing dress on day 3, and nursing top and maternity shorts to go home. I would say the discomfort from waistbands sets in once you are up and moving and off pain meds (for me, that was before I left the hospital, but YMMV.) Even then, it was mild, because elastic waist bands are forgiving.
Whatever you decide to wear, I would encourage you to ditch the hospital gown sooner rather than later! It really helped me feel more like a person again. That one little step of getting dressed on day 2 also motivated me to brush my hair, let DH hold the baby, etc. (little self care steps) and then, changing back into pjs at night signaled the shift from day to night and time to sleep (as much as you can in a hospital.)
Good luck!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with everyone to ditch that hospital gown asap if you can! I wore it for longer my first time around, but the second time, I put on my pj pants and nursing tank as soon as I could. I had vaginal deliveries both times and I didn’t notice the waistband digging in too much, although there was pain in other places so that may have gone unnoticed.
KatieWolf says
I wore COMPRESSION LEGGINGS home w my first (rookie) and it was intense! I’m planning on wearing a housedress home w this one (due in July) and will save the belly binding for a week postpartum.
Clementine says
A couple things I wish I had packed/had with me:
Chapstick (for you), nail file (for the baby), cute blanket/swaddles, stretchy but lightweight robe (Target is good for this), and an abdominal binder (I felt like i had absolutely no strength in my core – this is less of a ‘waist shaping’ thing and more of a ‘support my muscles’ thing.
I am on team ‘I hate hospital gowns’ and preferred strongly to wear my own clothes. A few of my friends have had lovely coordinated nightgown/robe combos which were delightful for meeting visitors and/or taking cute pictures, but that was more than I could handle.
AnonATL says
Luckily (?) we aren’t allowed visitors so the need to look cute is out the window. I did grab a cheap black cotton robe at Aldi of all places a few weeks ago. I think I’ll pack a pair of looser pants, a swingy dress, a couple dark tanks/tees, and a cardigan so I can mix and match depending on how I’m feeling.
I’m trying not to haul a bunch of stuff in because germs in the hospital (goodbye pillow from home that is on every packing list on the internet), and I don’t want to keep track of a bunch of stuff. My husband is currently allowed to come and go, so he can always come home and grab something if I desperately needed it. They also seem to be trying to get people out of the hospital ASAP, so my stay might be shorter than in the before times.
Thanks for all the advice!
anon says
If you bring your massive pregnancy pillow, just throw it out there. I never used mine once I got home, but it was helpful during labor and to sleep the night after delivery.
Anon says
Ha! I still sleep with mine 2.5 years later, assuming my toddler hasn’t stolen it from me in the middle of our co-sleeping. Works great for my back and hip discomfort and also as a bolster to keep her from rolling off our bed (but she also likes to snuggle in the middle of it and take the whole thing).
Anonymous says
I used mine when the baby was learning to sit to form a circle around him. It worked so much better than the Boppy.
Anon says
I had a planned C-section. The first day I wore the hospital gown – since they leave the epidural in for a day with a C-section and therefore you can’t get out of bed. I think they pulled it the next morning. That day and day of discharge, I wore the gown on top with maternity capri-length yoga pants underneath and a pair of flip flops since my feet get hot – kept my bum from flapping in the wind when I staggered to the bathroom and made me feel more comfortable around visitors (one set of friends brought us dinner and my inlaws came by). I imagine in the current COVID environment you will not have hospital visitors. Day of discharge I wore a new pair of the same yoga pants with a loose maternity tee and my soft nursing bra (since you still are sized like you’re 6 months pregnant) on the way home. I found pressing a pillow to my incision for the drive home helped with the bumps and potholes. Make sure you pack extra (and long) chargers. Agree with the chapstick suggestion and baby nail file too – those things were not available at my hospital, which had quite dry air and kiddo had talons.
Anonymous says
Interesting, I had a spinal so there was no epidural to leave in, but they left my urinary catheter in until the next day. I think I went home in a dress, which was terrible because it was November and my legs were freezing, but I think it would have been ideal in the summer. Otherwise I’d wear loose pants/shorts with a high waist. My favorite thing to wear was a pair of palazzo pants with a smocked waist that one of the friends lent me.
DEFINITELY YES to the pillow for the ride home.
Anon says
Before I went to the hospital I put on my going home outfit – under belly yoga pants and a maternity shirt. I would not wear a dress because you can’t nurse in it and you may need to, even if it’s a half hour before going home
Marshmallow says
I wore lightweight jogger pants with a wide, stretchy waistband, a nursing tank, and an oversized flannel shirt (it was winter). In the summer, I’d just make it a loose nursing tee shirt instead of the tank + flannel combo. Wide, soft waistband was key so nothing can dig in. The one thing I was so happy I brought was a plain black, stretchy jersey robe. It looks nice in all the photos because it’s just black, it wasn’t too hot, and was easy to cover up while BF with visitors. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Custom Jenny Packham or just go home naked there is no in between.
AwayEmily says
Endorse. It’s a bitch getting all the blood out of the tiny little iridescent beads, but the photos make it all worthwhile.
AnonATL says
lol I wish I could afford custom jenny packham. Those beaded gowns Kate Middleton wears are just to die for.
GCA says
Don’t forget the heels!
AnonATL says
Oh to highjack my own thread: are nurse gifts really a thing? It feels right up there with giving teachers some elaborate EOY gift, and is just silly extra work we hold ourselves to.
At most, I’d be wiling to get a few gift cards for coffee, but over the course of the stay it seems like you see a ton of different nurses and hospital staff. How do you make sure to have enough if you open that can of worms? I guess if there was a particular nurse I loved, I could send something after the fact to the hospital, but I’m leaning away from nurse gifts at all.
Anonymous says
Someone who was a L&D nurse posted about that in one of the other baby groups I’m on. She said most people don’t bring gifts and there was no expectation to do so. I think if anything, the COVID era is a good excuse to skip it because a lot of those gifts were food. Our hospital had feedback cards that would get the nurses awards, so they may have some built in way you can thank the nurse.
Anon says
There seems to be a lot of sexism baked into that idea.
Anon says
So, not to set expectations for anyone else but just factually something I did in the past: I had a placenta abruption with my first. It was terrifying, and landed me in the hospital to stay for over a week (luckily baby was fine in the end & was not born until a couple of weeks later when we induced, and I did get to go home for a little bit in between). After the fact I did send a bunch of chocolate covered strawberries just generally to the nurses station to thank all of the nurses & doctors that helped me during a very scary time, especially because I was there for so long.
I did not send anything after the actual, regular not-out-of-the-realm-of-standard births of my children though.
Boston Legal Eagle says
No need to do this. Say thank you but for an ordinary delivery, they’re doing their jobs and they see this every day.
Anonymous says
Omg no this is absurd. Like sure if you’re in the NICU for months and bond but a routine delivery? They’re skilled professionals paid for their work. Treat them with respect. Say thank you. Be polite. That’s it.
anon says
I wrote a thank you note to the CEO of the hospital and listed all the nurses that were helpful. (And Doctors). I received a nice note back; one of the nurses I listed is my neighbor and said she didn’t hear anything. It was a routine delivery, but the patient care was just off the charts (and this hospital is known for it). But, I also do things like this on occasion for excellent service (retail, etc).
IHeartBacon says
I love this. I always comment on this site that it is never awkward/wrong to appreciate someone and tell them so. I agree with everyone else that the OP absolutely should not feel obligated to get a nurse gift. The OP’s question is one of those things where if she feels moved (based on the experience she has while giving birth) to send a thank you note, I am certain it would be well-received, but there is no obligation or expectation of it. I never expect anything from clients when I do a particularly great job on a case or project other than them saying “thank you” at the end of an email. When they say thank you, I appreciate it. In my entire career, only twice has a client sent me anything in addition to a thank you email. One was a handwritten thank you note and when I received it, it made my day. The second was a small trinket that I had told the client about during a break at a deposition. The client had included a handwritten note along with the trinket saying she really appreciated our working relationship and was glad I was “part of the [client name] team.” I pinned both notes on the bulletin board in my office to remind myself that my corporate clients are made up of real people.
Anon says
For L&D, no. For my mom when she was on the cancer floor for multiple weeks, yes (all the baked goods, pre-COVID obviously).
DLC says
I wore a loose casual nursing dress for going home – ASOS has some great options. For me it was less annoying to wear over hospital underwear than yoga pants or what not, and then I didn’t have to change once I got home into something I could nurse in. I also just hung out in my hospital gown the whole time- kind of path of least resistance for me. I did bring my favorite over sized flannel to wear while in hospital, though.
Anon says
I had a C-section and was completely comfortable in non-maternity pajama bottoms. The scar should be very low; normal underwear hides it.
They will frequently measure your blood pressure, so bring shirts and pajamas that allow for easy access to your upper arm.
Anne says
Counterpoint – I wore yoga pants home but there is literally no way I could have put on maternity leggings after a very rough delivery. Bring yoga pants just to have that option.
newlypreg (no more) says
I just wanted to say thank you to all of the kind words yesterday – I know you are all strangers, but you made this internet stranger feel a lot better. Today’s test was screamingly negative, so I’m going to have a drink tonight and gear up to try again in a couple of weeks.
Also – my OB told me I should go in for a blood test – is there really a good reason to do it? I’m inclined to avoid the doctor’s office if I can.
Anon says
They want the blood test to confirm that your levels are 0 or still trending down, in order to make sure you don’t have any retained tissue. Retained tissue can be a significant problem, will need intervention, etc. I don’t know the risk of retained tissue with a natural miscarriage (I was a missed miscarriage, although I finally started spotting the morning I took the pills, I know it can be higher with medical management or a DandC). My OB had me go in around 2 weeks after my miscarriage started (TBH, I passed tissue for a good week and half, with spotting for another 3 weeks, but I miscarried at 9w).
Pogo says
Yeah – I wasn’t going to get into the gory details but I’ve had a surprising number of friends and acquaintances who had this issue, again – further along, but not like… super far along. One needed two D&C’s for a single m/c! So it is a non-zero risk, and the OB probably assumes that everyone is terrible at dating their own pregnancies just in case of situations like this (again, I have several friends who mis-dated their own pregnancies by 4-6 weeks, so it’s not uncommon). I’m so sorry you are going through this OP. Biggest hugs.
Pogo says
They want to confirm your levels are declining in the rare but serious event that you had an ectopic or another complication that would necessitate further treatment. I would probably go, I am currently pregnant and the procedure for blood tests is very thoughtful; they have a separate lab, they call you in from your car, etc. I felt most unsafe on March 13 before they instituted this and I had to wait in a waiting room with 1-2 other individuals – granted, we were 6+ feet apart but I recall being nervous.
newlypreg (no more) says
thanks – I’m in NYC, so no car but I’m sure they’re being careful. I’ll make an appointment on Monday. It’s not my first baby so no Rh worries but the remote possibility of retained tissue is real (I’ve had friends who went through it) so better safe than sorry.
Anon says
The other thing to ask about is when (if you want to, and not everyone does, some people jump right back in (me) and others take time to process and grieve (friends)) to start trying again – my OB wanted me to have one normal cycle before trying again. I think the guidance on that differs, so may be worth asking about.
newlypreg (no more) says
Yeah, I’m not waiting. Turning 36 in a few months.
Knope says
Also wanted to flag that if you happen to be RH negative with an RH positive partner, they may want to give you a Rhogam shot. I had to have one after a MC out of an abundance of caution. Very sorry for your loss.
anonn says
I had a MC at 10 weeks a few years ago, my OB wanted me to come in for weekly tests until my HCG was 0 because of the possibility of retained tissue. the first week was a horrible experience (the OB told me I didn’t need an appt, the front desk was very mad I didn’t have an appt.) when they emailed me the results that it was going down and I should come in until it was 0 I left a VM saying I really didn’t want to deal with them anymore, but if the OB really felt my life was at risk, please call me back and I would come back in. Pregnancy tests were negative, they did not call me back. I live to tell the tale.
Fertility Treatments/COVID-19 - Update says
I posted back in March about my cycle being scratched literally one day short of my procedure in late March due to Covid. Well, my fertility clinic called Wednesday and I officially went in for my first baseline scan this morning. The clinic is in a major hospital in a hotspot so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was so well run and organized. Five different check points to confirm identity, verify masks, confirm you haven’t had COVID symptoms, etc. Extremely thorough and lots of opportunities to use hand sanitizer, even from getting from parking garage elevator to the actual fertility clinic office.
I’m now waiting anxiously for the phone call from the doctor to tell me if I can start injections tonight or not, but just so glad that this is starting back up again. I think there were a few other women with cancelled cycles. Sending you positive thoughts and hoping you, too, are back in the game soon.
Anonymous says
Think of everyone in this situation!
Anonymous says
I am so happy for you!! I really felt for you when you originally posted- thank you so much for sending this update, and please let us know how it goes!!
anon says
great news. Have been thinking of you during this! GOOD LUCK.
Basket case says
Y’all, I am an emotional basket case at the moment. I am pregnant in my third trimester and just weaned my toddler. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal because a) I’m pregnant; and b) we were only doing very short night feeds, but last night I just could not stop crying (which is so not my personality.)
To top it off, toddler has decided that he only wants his dad now. My husband is an amazing dad and we split child care and household care 50/50 so I know I’m super lucky there. I also know it’s ridiculous to let to be hurt by the favoritism of a kid who is not even 2 . . . but man, it is a knife right to the heart.
Basket case says
I posted prematurely without asking, but . . . anyone have tips for dealing with weaning (particularly while pregnant) and/or toddler favoritism? Or do I just need to stick this out?
Anonymous says
Try to embrace this time. Go for a walk by yourself, sit in the garden and drink tea etc. Soon enough you’ll have a newborn and a jealous toddler both clamouring for your attention.
Anon says
I know weaning can be hard but this is just a phase. Keep the big picture in mind. You will soon have another baby to breastfeed for a long time! It will be ok. Your feelings will definitely change and so will your toddler’s behavior. Give it time. Hang in there and don’t overthink it. You are a great mom.
Anon says
Weaning can cause emotional swings from fluctuating hormones. Some women get it; some don’t.
anon says
Weaning while pregnant with #2 was bad and weaning #2 was absolutely awful. Reach out to your OB or therapist before you’re desperate. In my case, I just had to be really forgiving of myself doing very little and watching a lot of Netflix for about a month.
If I had to do over, I would have set up therapy appointments before it got bad—by the time I was in the thick of it, I couldn’t.
Commiseration. Cup of Jo has a good essay on this, but I think not enough is done to prepare women for this possible side effect of weaning.
Childbirth classes and c-section question says
What kind of childbirth classes did you take (if you took them)? Did you find them helpful? Any recommendations for a good type of class for someone who is hoping for a vaginal delivery – but with epidural, because there is a decent chance I’ll end up needing a c-section due to a fibroid that might block the birth canal, and so if I’m allowed to try vaginal and end up needing a c-section, I want to have had the epidural so that I can be awake for the c-section and not under general anesthesia. If it wasn’t for the fibroid, I’d try w/o meds, but being awake for the birth (however it happens) is more important.
Second question – if you had a c-section, were you able to do skin-to-skin immediately and breastfeed right away as well?
Anon says
I took a birthing class available at the hospital where I was planning to give birth. It was a few Saturdays in a row. I found the information helpful so I felt more prepared and it was fun to meet other couples in the same situation. But looking back, I feel like it was way more information than I needed since I got an epidural and had a simple delivery. I probably could have been fine with a two hour class to cover the basics. It’s great to be informed but remember that medical professionals are there to help you and you don’t have to be skeptical and resistant to their advice, as some birthing classes make it seem.
lol what says
“It’s great to be informed but remember that medical professionals are there to help you and you don’t have to be skeptical and resistant to their advice, ” lol. that’s a fortunate opinion.
Anonymous says
Um, what? You may lol but you aren’t very articulate in expressing your views.
Realist says
lol what may not have phrased the sentiment the right way, but it absolutely applies. Birth stories like Serena William’s story make it clear that you can’t always rely on medical professionals to be looking out for you. You and your partner need to be informed and advocate for your medical needs, especially if you are a woman of color. Not all women get to choose the OB or hospital of their choice for their birth and some women may be going into their birth already knowing the doctors are not on their side (many of those women probably aren’t on this board, but they do exist). Be informed, know your options, and advocate for yourself when needed, that is good advice for any medical procedure, including a birth.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I had planned for (and got twice) an epidural so I didn’t do any sort of breathing exercise-type classes, as that wasn’t necessary when it came to actually giving birth. I called my OB as soon as I felt consistent contractions and tried to get to the hospital as soon as I could and requested the epidural as soon as I could as well.
avocado says
I have known several people whose plans for epidurals fell through or were delayed for various reasons. I would learn all the coping techniques just as an emergency fallback.
Anonymous says
My second birth, the epidural did work, but the transition phase nonetheless gave me a wicked set of the shakes that were extremely violent and lasted forever. It was horrible and I used any and all techniques from birthing class to try to get through it! I was familiar with these shakes from my first birth but it was different the second time- you really never know how things will go and it’s good to have a few tools up your sleeve.
Anonymous says
I did hypnobirthing for my first birth but I’d actually suggest Birthing from Within which is a UK based program recommended by my second doula. It focuses more on your journey to motherhood and embracing all forms of birthing journeys which given your circumstances might be applicable.
Nothing wrong with an epidural, but just as an additional option you may not have considered. When I delivered my twins they basically insist on an epidural because the chances of c-section are higher. My OB was okay with me having the line put in and no medication run, so it was ready to push the medication if I needed a section. Inserting the epidural line is what takes time, not the pushing the medication. They run a small amount of medication to test the line’s in place but it was great not to have it. Even if you want the medication later on, you can always ask about having just the line placed when you first arrive and just medication later on so you can get up, walk around and labor in lots of different positions.
Anonymous says
I also really liked the book ‘Natural Hospital Birth’ which is a great balance of birthing mom centred advice without some of the pro- home birthy stuff that other books have.
Anon says
I had a planned C. Took a hospital class booked before I knew that (I am for all the meds and didn’t want anything crunchy) but by the time I took the class we had registered for (at 38W because I was late to register, it was a couple of hours on a weekend), we’d already determined planned C. After kiddo was checked by the nurses (in my line of sight), kiddo was on my chest in the OR while they cleaned and stitched me up (maybe 15 minutes or so – time is blur). They then handed her off to DH who did skin to skin with her in the recovery room while they disconnected everything and got ready to wheel me. Once I was wheeled back into recovery (maybe 15 minutes of separation?) we were skin to skin again and trying BFing (while administering massive amounts of benadryl because I was so, so itchy – apparently a common reaction to the epidural).
anonn says
Birth Boot Camp! they now have a class geared toward hospital birth. It is focused on “natural” child birth, but I don’t feel contradicted my plan of no epidural until I needed it. in addition to labor and delivery education, it has prenatal nutrition and exercise, and breast feeding education. I really believe substantial BF education before birth would be a story-changer for so many women. there was also really good postpartum and newborn education.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
I am not a very good example, I guess. I think all I did was take a tour of L&D at the hospital. I did take a baby care class but not a birthing class. I did plan to take a Lamaze class but then my first baby arrived at 36 weeks, and I didn’t feel like I needed the class a second time around. It was fine for me. I talked to some friends and did some research on my own to understand relative risks of various interventions and that’s about it. I had an epidural with my first and unmedicated with my second. That being said, both of my births were uncomplicated. It’s possibly I would have wished to be more prepared if things hadn’t gone smoothly. I will say that having a doula with my 2nd was KEY because she was so experienced and could help with things like “Is this normal?” and “We need the nurse right now” and stuff like that.
Anonymous says
The in-person class my hospital offered wasn’t very helpful. The material was from third party provider so they’d talk about pain management options like being in the bath but our hospital didn’t have birthing tubs (though I did that at home and it did help). I found this series to be more helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7YucfJuziU
Realist says
I took a class based on principles that sound similar to “Birthing from Within.” I found it very helpful. Two key things that I remember:
-If you are being given medical options or pressure to do something that you would rather not (medications, etc), it can be helpful to ask “What happens/what are the risks if I wait to do that?” Sometimes time will resolve the issue, and most healthcare providers will be honest about the risks and let you know if it is something you really need to deal with now versus waiting on an intervention
-I felt the class empowered me and DH to be comfortable with really getting my labor really going at home versus going to the hospital too soon. I think this helped as I had friends turned away from the hospital for going in too soon, which I would have found distressing, and also knew people that had their labor stall in the hospital (which isn’t always the most relaxing environment). My OB also supported letting labor start at home and had a wonderful nurse’s hotline we could call and let know when labor started and talk through milestones (how long between contractions, level of pain, etc.). It was nice to have the comforts of home and bounce on my yoga ball, take a bath, watch my Netflix shows, eat and drink when and what I wanted, etc. We were also lucky enough that we lived 10 minutes from our hospital, so we didn’t have to worry too much about getting stuck in traffic and having a car baby.
CCLA says
I took a few hour class on a single Saturday with DH at the hospital, which was fine but as I vaguely recall not super helpful and felt like a slog with the material geared toward someone who hadn’t read a single thing. The only benefit I see to that one is getting the hospital-specific info, otherwise there are probably better things out there online.
Also, I would read up and have your partner read up on HELLP syndrome and pre-e matters. There are several news articles about the poor maternal care in this country and how symptoms can go ignored post-partum when care is mostly focused on baby. My birth plan consisted mostly of “get an epidural and listen to doc recommendations”, but also to pay attention to signs of HELLP and advocate as needed (and made sure DH was likewise aware because hello postpartum fog).
Re: being awake, unless it is an emergency c-section or there is a reason like scoliosis that you can’t get a spinal/epidural, you’d generally get a spinal (similar to epidural) for a c-section so you’d be awake for it. I did love my epidurals though.
Anon says
I took a birth class my hospital offered. I did not enjoy watching the birth video (I don’t want to see my own child being born, let alone someone else’s) and all the breathing techniques were useless, since I wanted and got an epidural ASAP. I think it’s really rare for a first time birth to be too fast for an epidural so I wouldn’t worry too much about breathing techniques if you’ll be getting an epidural.
Ultimately, nothing they could have told me in a class would have changed my plans. I wanted to listen to my doctors and do my own research, which I did in advance and also on the fly (when the on-call doctor wanted to use a different induction method than my regular doctor, I looked up the method, found recommended doses of the cervix softener were lower than what he wanted to start with and ending up talking him into halving the dose – which was a very good thing because it immediately produced strong contractions even before I had any PItocin.) If doctors had recommend a C, I absolutely would have done what they recommended. I preferred a V delivery, but getting the baby out of there with both of us healthy was the only thing I really cared about.
Anon says
My epidural did not work properly and had to be repositioned. As the epidural was planned, I had not done much at all of breathing techniques, and really regretted it; it would have been nice to have a few tools available to make it through until the anesthesiologist could reposition my epidural.
This happened as I was getting prepped for a C-section. We tried V, but my baby was not descending, partial placental abruption, etc., so they went to C section. You only get general if the C-section is emergency, and it’s not always “emergency” just because the V delivery failed. Emergency means that your or the baby will run the real risk of dying if the kid is not removed RIGHT NOW. That’s when they knock you out.
I was able to do skin-to-skin in the recovery room; they let me hold him once he was weighed and cleaned up. When you get a C-section, your arms will be spread out so they have access to your veins and such; they have to make sure that everything is all good before they give you your arms back.
Anonymous says
I did the class my hospital offered. I had a c-section. I did not skin-to-skin immediately. They cleaned kiddo off right away and examined her while my doctor delivered the placenta and closed me back up. Hubby then held her until I was moved to the recovery room, at which point we did skin-to-skin and kiddo breastfed. There was a delay, but (IMO), it was very minimal. 15 minutes, maybe? And I felt good that she spent most of that time with DH rather than the hospital team. Maybe it is why she likes him best now 4.5 years later. Ha.
anon. says
This is what happened with my c-section. Husband was given baby to take into recovery room and they rolled me down there when I was stitched up. I did NOT do skin to skin immediately and my now 4 YO seems just fine for what it’s worth.
Anonymous says
I had a planned C and they offered to let me do skin to skin in the OR but I felt nervous about holding a baby on the narrow table, so my husband held her until I got to the recovery room.
Walnut says
I had an emergency c-section, a failed VBAC and a planned c-section. I was able to do immediate skin to skin in the OR will all three and with the third they let me watch my c-section as well. Both hospitals I birthed at allowed for nursing/bonding/quiet time in the recovery room after birth.
I had spinal block anesthesia for all three c-sections, which allowed me to fully use my arms and be very present for the births.
quail says
For my first, I took the hospital’s birthing class. I honestly remembered none of it while in labor – I probably should have taken it later in my pregnancy (I think it took it around 25 weeks or something, definitely was on the early side in my class). I had a doula but did not do any of their courses. For my second, I didn’t take any classes but my doula used some sort of software that created a “birth plan” that was very thoughtful (i.e., if this happens, here are your options, what makes sense for you in situation A, or situation B). That might be more useful to you than a class. It’s less about having the actual plan to hand to the nurse or OB than walking through the options and feeling good about them.
What was helpful to me for my first (which might be less helpful given your goals and circumstances as you’ve stated) were Ina May Gaskin’s books and watching youtube videos of birth. I also made my spouse watch the videos, ha. Knowing a bit more about what was happening was very helpful to me – as it turned out, I am a solo birther (leave me alone to do my thing) and my body just took over. It was easier to do that and leave my brain somewhat out of it having read and seen other depictions of birth. ( I had two very short, intense labors, with most of my labor occurring at home – so drug free by choice but also circumstance.)
SC says
I took a tour of the labor and delivery unit and also ended up there twice with premature contractions, so we were pretty comfortable with the hospital itself. I didn’t take a childbirth class–DH dragged is feet on scheduling it, and then I was placed on bed rest around 32 weeks. I read some information in books (I can’t remember which ones) and watched some videos. They were somewhat helpful. I always planned to have an epidural, and was able to have one, and it worked. Since then, I’ve heard plenty of stories of failed epidurals or labor proceeding too quickly for an epidural, and it might have been a good idea to be more prepared for not having one. I’m just glad it wasn’t an issue.
Anonymous says
I want to cry. Ever since COVID, my boss has seen everything as an emergency, whether it is or not. I am supposed to be off this weekend (I work a M-F job) and Monday. I was planning to use this time to disconnect and destress, because I am losing it. I never yell and I keep yelling. I cry, which is usually my sign to look for a new job, but there are no other jobs right now.
He sent an email today telling me I need to get something done by Monday morning. I pushed back that it seemed like we could take more time given the request (basically, we need to decide if we’re going to complete a project this summer by Monday. But we decided we are, so that’s good! I made that happen on time! The secondary question of whether we complete project B or C after A doesn’t need answer by Monday, but he wants me to work on it this weekend, so we have an answer Monday, which isn’t necessary). But I am scared to tell him I just need the time off, because I am his go-to for everything and I successfully pushed back on something else this week. I don’t want to look lazy, but I also cannot do everything (and care for my kids!).
Cb says
If you’re the go to for everything, he can’t afford to get rid of you – you’ll do better work if you have the time to rest and recharge. ‘I want to give you a complete, carefully considered answer, and to do that, I’ll need some time. I’ll come to it fresh on Monday and I’ll add a meeting to your calendar now so we can discuss at the end of next week’.
Spirograph says
My boss is also prone to unrealistic deadlines and workloads, and you really have to push back – especially now. When you work from home, you never leave the office, so you have to draw some hard lines to protect your non-working time or it will really impact your productivity and mental health. There is a ton of research on this, and it’s unfortunate that there aren’t well-established norms around how to do constant connectivity better. Some bosses create a culture that makes it easy to have real time away easy, some don’t. But it is absolutely necessary to do. I like Cb’s script.
Realist says
From what you have posted here, you are the opposite of lazy. You are recognizing you need time off. I also like Cb’s script. Don’t feel bad about taking care of yourself. In the long run, that is in both your and your boss’s interests.
Anon says
Any recommendations for maternity boy shorts/bike shorts? Looking for something I can wear under dresses that is not shape-wear, but that just provides light support and prevents thigh chafing. Surprisingly hard to find…
Thanks!
ALC says
I just wore the Jockey Skinnies in a size up from my normal.
ALC says
Oh oops, *skimmies.
A Virgin Who Can't Drive says
Have you tried Jockey Skimmies? I wore them under dresses for my pregnancy for the same reason!
anon says
+1 Jockey Skimmies. Costco had them for a time!!! I’m wearing them again this summer, 7 mo PP. They are amazing.
Realist says
Hawaii introduced a feminist recovery plan for Covid. Swoon. It was released April 14. I’m only hearing about it now. I wish my state would do something like this, though hard to imagine it. Highlights:
>”women in our communities have never been busier taking care of loved ones, provisioning supplies,and finding ways to offset the enormous economic and social burdens of this time. These aspects of the economy usually go uncounted and hidden yet there would be no economy without these activities”
>”Rather than rush to rebuild the status quo of inequality, we should encourage a deep structural transition to an economy that better values the work we know is essential to sustaining us.”
>”Parents and Caregivers: Provide free, publicly funded childcare for all essential workers. Utilizing the additional Child Care and Development Block grant money and available federal waivers to provide no-cost care for emergency and essential workers. Designate childcare providers across the state, ensuring equal access for all families, and work directly with the providers. Families should have minimal barriers to receiving care. For some of our essential workers (grocery store, post office, government, etc.) the closure of schools means an additional out of pocket cost for childcare.”[Recommendation]
>[Recommendation] “Build the state’s social infrastructure (childcare, education and healthcare).Studies have shown that investing public funds in childcare and elder care services is more effective in reducing public deficits and debt” [Recommendation]
>”Include Women in All Levels of Consultation, Decision-Making and Communication Outreach. Many of the gaps and issues we are observing and documenting have always existed. The pandemic is only exacerbating and highlighting the structural inequities and lack of access to resources faced by women, youth, Native Hawaiians, LGBT individuals and immigrants.” [Recommendation]
>”Support women+’s economic independence, the redistribution of unpaid care work and the circular economy,ensuring jobs programs for women+ and public provision of childcare and programs, such as paid family leave that support more equitable distribution of childcare and recognized, paid work.” [Recommendation]
The full report is here:
https://humanservices.hawaii.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4.13.20-Final-Cover-D2-Feminist-Economic-Recovery-D1.pdf
Anonymous says
WHOA. This is awesome.
Anonymous says
I literally got chills reading that. Fantastic, and I hope it works so well that it inspires copycats throughout the country!
IHeartBacon says
The opening line brought tears to my eyes:
“The road to economic recovery should not be across women’s backs.”
AnotherAnon says
My office has announced that starting next week, we will be in the office one week, WFH the next, for the foreseeable future. We are only required to meet 25% team personnel capacity in the office right now, so it’s up to individual teams to determine who’s in and who’s WFH. This seems…misguided? But that’s a topic for another post. Personally, it’s going to be more chaotic for me to switch back and forth. Am I crazy to ask my boss if I can go into the office 99% of the time, and only WFH when I request it? Another team mate is currently doing this (also, coincidentally the parent of a toddler). Can you think of any downsides to this arrangement that I might not be considering?
anne-on says
Am I reading it right that you’d essentially be taking up one of your team’s ‘go into the office’ slots almost at 100%? If you have childcare covered, I think you’d be doing a huge service to those on your team who can’t go back in because of health or childcare related reasons. Plus when you DO want to WFH you’d (presumably) have a lot of goodwill built up since you’ve been going in so much.
Anonymous says
Not the question you asked…but if the chaos is because of equipment or your home office set up, you could use this to ask for solutions to the chaos. If it is for other reasons, then disregard :)
Pigpen's Mama says
Has the office asked that this be set up so it rotates between to be determined teams on a weekly basis? So that Team 1, with employees A, B, C, and D go in on even weeks and Team 2 with W, X, Y, and Z go in on odd weeks? If so, the risk I see here from the company’s perspective is if you are COVID-positive and go to work not knowing you are for more than one rotation, you’ll be putting more people at risk of needing to quarantine.
But the company may not be setting up the return to office in this way, it wouldn’t be an issue.
OP says
I think that may have been the base logic, but someone in the office last week tested positive for covid, and management continues to increase the number of personnel being asked to come into the office. Furthermore, management has left it to individual teams to determine who comes in, so my team is proposing a rube goldberg style A, B, C come in M-W, and X,Y,Z come in Tu-Thu and then everyone WFH Friday then we switch days the following week (this has not been approved by my manager). A pro to this is that we’d be with the same individuals all the time, reducing our contact points. A con to this is if I get placed in rotation with the individuals whose spouses work in the ER, I am going to need to address that with my manager (it is unclear to us whether they are in the rotation and my boss took the day off today). I’m sending my kid to day care, but IMO asking high risk individuals to come into the office for no reason other than “we need butts in seats” is where I draw the line. I wish we could just continue WFH until we know more. If wishes were horses, right?
Anonymous says
If you volunteer to come back at 100% I think it’s weird to be demanding other people stay home.
Anon says
So – one suggestion if you’re allowed to make them. Our office (when we move to phase 2), will have an X team and a Y team, who will alternate weeks in the office and WFH (allowing weekends for more thorough cleaning). That seems easier than alternating days during the week.
Pigpen's Mama says
The day on day off approach sounds SUPER confusing — plus, the advantage of week-long blocks is you can decrease transmission by just letting any contaminated surfaces sit for 48 hours or so.
I have no advice, other than commiseration because I can barely remember what month it is, much less what day of the week it is.
Pogo says
I can’t believe they had a positive case and are still asking people to come in! Yikes. It’s crazy to me how different every company is. I’m actually really impressed with how chill my company is being about getting us back considering we support critical manufacturing, but I think they’re super nervous about having to shut down entire facilities due to cases.
Anon says
I’m surprised they want the ER spouse in. My work has said me and my colleague who have first responder spouses will be the last people allowed back in the office. I’m fine with that because I prefer WFH.
Pogo says
That does seem really chaotic. Both my employer and husband’s have asked for specific names of our team members who would be more productive in the office and should be in phase 1 or 2 (actually phase 1 was dictated at my company – lab employees that have to be there). Then the facilities and EHS people + crisis management team are going to assign based on the max %’s and all that who goes in when. Not rotating weeks.
Am I reading that you are not a team leader, so you’re just asking for you individually? Just ask for what you want, whatever that is, and make your case. If they can’t accommodate you, then at least you tried.
OP says
Thanks. I’m trying not to spiral b/c my boss is out of office today and basically told us “figure it out among yourselves” but clearly my team is not great at scheduling. Yes, I’m just asking what you would ask for in this situation as kind of a gut check. Honestly, my boss is very flexible, so I think if I ask to come in that would build a lot of goodwill toward WFH when I need it, as Anne-on mentioned. I will try to politely guide my team away from the chaos of every other/on off and point out that XYZ in office one week, ABC the next is safer.
Anonymous says
Ugh, “work it out amongst yourselves” is a terrible idea. There needs to be some leadership here.
The first question your boss should be asking is what the business purpose is for each employee’s physical presence in the office. That will reveal who actually needs to be there. It could, for example, be people who need access to printers and equipment to mail out account statements. After you decide who needs to be there for business reasons and when they need to be there, then you start asking who wants to be there and filling in the schedule until you hit your occupancy limit.
Anon Lawyer says
Toddler size hooded towel recs? I just bought some Target Cloud Island baby ones but now I would like some bigger ones. Googling I’m not sure which are a good size.
HSAL says
Stick with Target – I love the Pillowfort hooded towels.
AnonLaywer says
Perfect, thanks!
Anon says
We gave up on the hooded towel when kiddo outgrew them. We just use regular towels (caveat though my kid is huge – she’s wearing girl’s size small/6 at 2.75).
anon says
+1, once my son was around 9 months he was too big for them and we switched to regular towels. He has a ton of hair so the hood was nice but we just comb dry now and blow dry for a minute if it is cold outside.
Anon says
We also went to regular towels, but I bought my niece a very cute, large Katerina Kittycat hooded towel on Etsy.
Anon says
Can you share from where? My two year old twins would be in heaven
Anon says
It was a shop called JoyfulBundles (one word). Tons of different characters, very cute
Spirograph says
We have some animal ones from Lands End. My kids looooooove them and use them nearly exclusively. They were presents at Christmas 2018 and are still doing OK, but I will likely replace them this Christmas. They’ll be bath sheet proportion on a toddler – my youngest was 2 when we got them and his reached the ground, iirc.