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This dress is a unicorn in that it has sleeves and pockets. It comes in a bunch of very twee prints, but the patterns are all small enough that it’s not overwhelmingly cutesy for work. It’s very highly rated at Boden and looks like a fun, easy dress that’s got some personality. Because it’s jersey and has pockets, I would recommend it only for a casual day at a conservative office, and you may want to pay attention to where it hits you and possibly have it hemmed to a better length — some of the photos look a little unflattering because to me it looks like the dresses are hemmed in the wrong place. The dress is $81-$90 at Boden and comes in sizes 2-18. Phoebe Jersey Dress
(Wondering what else to buy at Boden? Check out our favorites for work outfits over at Corporette.)
Here are two plus-size options for jersey dresses.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Strollers says
So we’re taking our kid on a 2 week trip to Europe this summer. Kiddo will be just under 2 when we go.
We’re having the Great Stroller Debate. Currently, we own 2 strollers: a BOB jogger that I use for running and a City Mini GT that is our regular stroller that I love love love (and would highly recommend).
People seem to recommend an umbrella stroller. We’re tall, so the cheap ones seem to be painfully short. Do we buy a third stroller for this trip?? Complicating this, we may be looking to purchase a double stroller in the future…
Our other options are to bring the City Mini GT (folds up nice and flat, great stroller all around but it would be a hassle to drag around) or just bring our Tula (we do a LOT of baby wearing) carrier and buy a stroller over there if we’re totally desperate.
Right now, I’m leaning towards just bringing the Tula. Thoughts?
Blueberry says
We typically end up not using the stroller when we travel, but one thing to think about is whether your kid is good at sleeping in strollers. If so, having a stroller could save you from taking a 2 hour break in the middle of the day for naptime (although maybe kiddo would just sleep in the carrier?), and could let you go out for later dinners without a babysitter. I think a City Mini might work, but we’ve always had an UppaBaby GLuxe (which we love for travel and urban areas), so I don’t really have any commentary there.
lsw says
We’re tall and the Joovy Groove umbrella stroller is decent for us. I mean, we miss our Vista when we’re using it, but for carting around it’s pretty decent. It doesn’t have extendable handles but they are pretty long and work well for both of us (husband very tall but long arms, me pretty tall with short arms).
Amelia Bedelia says
we took our 15 month old to Europe for 12 days last year. we live in a city and are very used to lugging the stroller around and managing it on uneven sidewalks and carrying it up and down subway stairs. Our kiddos is really good sleeping in it, too. We, without a doubt, would take it again. it was a real lifesaver. we do a lot of baby carrying, too, but the stroller was just better. if you live a life that uses it a lot (and know that this can be difficult to navigate on narrow European streets), then bring it. I don’t think you will regret it. We had a GT as well. it was awesome.
Strollers says
This is hugely helpful! Thank you!
RR says
We are tall, and the Uppa Baby G-Lite is great for us. Very light, you can fold it up and carry it with a shoulder strap, but still comfortable for baby. I also like that, if you buy their travel bag, you get a warranty against damage to the stroller while traveling–so if the airline kills my stroller, we get reimbursed. I also like the Uppa Baby a lot now that my youngest is almost 4 for those occasional times we need a stroller–easy to keep it in the back of the car.
AB says
Do you belong to any parent groups on Facebook or the like, or have any friends who do? On mine, people often see if anyone can lend them gear that they will only need for a short time, like a vacation, or for a visiting family member. If you can borrow a Maclaren or other good umbrella stroller, it might be worth it. Of course, you run the risk of something happening to it, and then you have to deal with that with the owner, but that’s not likely to happen.
Anonymous says
I would bring Tula plus stroller. I’ve done 4 trips to Europe with 3 kids at varying ages and I wouldn’t want to only have a carrier. Super useful for naps on the go. I often stroller and tossed Tula in the cargo hold on the stroller. If you’re going to Scandinavia sometimes you’ll see babies napping outside the cafe in their strollers while their parents have a coffee.
Anonymous says
Definitely bring the City mini. Our non GT version is our travel stroller. I am tall and hate umbrella strollers – and I have an uppa gluxe that I bought second hand.
K. says
We spent 6 weeks in Europe last summer with an almost 2 year old and I hands down recommend just the Tula. We were SO glad not to have a stroller to lug around (and we rented a car, so it wasn’t like we didn’t have that). So many cities have public transport that make having a stroller difficult (think Paris with all its stairs to get to the metro or all the cobblestone). Our daughter lived in the Tula and besides a few bits of grumpiness getting into some days and a lot of sweating on the hottest of days, it was the easiest option. Our daughter naps in the Tula fwiw. We also thought we could buy a cheap stroller if necessary, but we were happy with our choice.
shortperson says
we loved the mountain buggy nano on our europe trip. the wheels can handle uneven streets and it folds up tiny. it lays back for naps and the optional shade cover makes it a cozy space for naps. it will fit in any european taxi, you could even hold it on your lap. i am short but my husband is well over six feet and he’s fine with it.it
msj says
I’ve done Europe with no stroller and had no regrets. I used a large framed backpack, and while it’s not the most glamorous thing, it’s so much easier to navigate. If you’re comfortable baby wearing and not bothered by wearing more practical clothes, go for it
Anon Mom says
We just got back from a 2 week trip to Europe with a 20 month old (fun fun fun!). We had the same debate and went with just the baby-carrier.
We stayed in about 5 cities and did a few day trips, so a stroller would have been a PITA with the “historical buildings” and other cute places we picked off airbnb. (no elevators!!)
Also, cobblestones dont play nicely with anything but the jogging strollers IMO – i imagine sitting in a stroller without good shock absorption would feel like an earthquake to the kid (but maybe i am crazy)
ANP says
Late to the party here, but we’ve done a lot of travel with small kids including London. If your BOB jogger has a swivel wheel, I highly recommend having the stroller with you as an option — you can always leave it behind in the hotel room in favor of the Tula. We liked having it in the airport to schlep stuff, if nothing else, and brought our BOB jogger all over the world with us!
Double stroller? says
My toddler will be almost 3 when #2 is born. We currently have a City Mini, which I love. We’re suburban and mainly use it for neighborhood walks and the zoo/amusement parks, but my toddler mainly wants to walk anymore. Do I want/need to get a double stroller? We did a lot of babywearing with the first, so I assume we will again. I’d be okay renting one if we went to Disney or something, but I’m trying to figure out if selling the Mini and buying a double would be worth it for reasons I’m not thinking of.
Strollers says
So a friend was in your position and kept her City Mini (maybe she has a Britex one?) and bought a Joovy Caboose ($127 on amazon when I just looked) which is a sit and stand.
It’s kind of perfect for the age split you’re talking about – one kiddo wants to walk but has little legs that get tired plus an older kid. She did lots of market research (aka stopping people on the street with kids with a similar age gap and asking if they liked their stroller while hugely pregnant) and loves having both options.
The other thing is- when the younger kid is 2-3, the older will be 5-6 and she has decided she will want a single stroller then once again.
Jen says
My oldest was 3 when my second was born. We got the hooch caboose ultralight. When we went to Disney I bought a jump seat- that’s really the only time we had them both sitting (sleeping!) in it. The rest of the time the 3 y/o (now 4.5 and still using it) hopped on and off.
Anon says
The toddler may want to ride in a double stroller to be “with” the baby. Friends of ours have a 3 y.o. and a 6 mo. old. When the baby arrived, the toddler reverted to a lot of things previously outgrown – extra snuggles, wanting bottles, wanting to be held, zero interest in potty training, etc. Wondering if you may get the same reaction to a stroller. I don’t think they bought a double stroller. And presumably once the toddler adjusts you would be OK. Maybe with the City Mini you could baby wear and still keep the toddler in the stroller if toddler goes through that phase?
M says
I’m in the same boat, so no experience but I’ve been thinking about this. Current plan is to hold off getting a double stroller for now and see if we can get away with babywearing/toddler in stroller once baby #2 is here. If not, I have the Joovy Caboose stand on tandem stroller “saved for later” in my Amazon cart. But basically I’m deferring the decision for now.
Blueberry says
I vote yes. Assuming you have enough space for storage, why not keep both? It will be useful to keep a one-seater when you are on solo expeditions with the baby. Here’s my experience:
When we lived in an apartment without that much storage space and my older son was in a stage of deep opposition to the stroller, we just bought one of those roller boards that attaches to the back of the stroller for him to stand on — I forget what they are called. So that’s an option that will buy you more time. It was a bit of a pain particularly while getting used to it — I definitely bumped my shins on it more than once. We used that for the first 3 or 4 months, and then I ended up buying a double jogging stroller so I could take them both running, which ended up being pretty useful for walks to the park and errands, and still is even though my older one is 4 now and walks most places.
anon says
Can you get the attachable standing board thing for a City Mini? That might also be an option. I only have one child but we still used our stroller a lot when my son was 3. You can get away without it I’m sure, but if I were you I would want the option to stroll both kids. Babywearing also hurt my back; YMMV. Either way, I would keep the City Mini and get a used double if you decide you want one rather than selling the City Mini now – eventually you will want a single stroller again, and you aren’t going to be able to sell it for that much anyway.
Anonymous says
If toddler is into walking you could just get a ride along board for when toddler gets tired. Baby wear and make toddler walk whenever possible, but this could be a good compromise for when you’ve got a four and one year old.
EB0220 says
Our first was 2.5 when baby sister was born. We contemplated a double stroller but ultimately decided to do babywearing/stroller. We have a toddler carrier so we switch kids between wearing and stroller as needed. Just this weekend I carried my 5 year old on my back while 2 year old rode in the stroller. It worked, but only because I have an awesome carrier. We did rent a double stroller at Disney. We also have a bike trailer with two seats that we can use as a stroller. We use that sometimes to walk to the pool. Caveats here are that I usually prefer babywearing to the stroller, so we don’t use it *that* much in general. Mostly for festivals and walking to the playground/pool in our neighborhood.
Double stroller? says
Helpful as always, ladies, thanks! I’d never heard of the ride along board, but it looks like they do make one for the City Mini, so that may be the route we take after seeing how it goes (like M). And I can’t believe I didn’t realize I’d eventually want a single stroller again.
Teddy bear recs? says
Anyone have a recommendation for a classic, gorgeous first bear for baby? I know they’ll eventually fall in love with some sparkly monstrosity but would like their first bear to be special.
Clearly, my mom has arrived and organised our lives and has done a world of good. A week ago I was stressing about not having anything ready for the baby and now I’m buying cute wooden toys and researching teddy bears.
SC says
My son loves a Mary Meyer stuffed lamb that his great-aunt gave him. We now have 3 of them in varying shades of gray. So I’d look at that brand.
anon says
My son has never shown any interest in stuffed toys EXCEPT his special lovely is a completely irreplaceable, cheap, made in China stuffed animal of uncertain taxonomy that one of my husband’s students won at a carnival and gave to us as a gift. So just be aware that your baby may have other plans. That said, Jellycat makes nice stuffed animals, and if you need an excuse to set fire to a pile of money, there is always Steiff.
Pogo says
lol Niece’s lovey is a bear with bunny ears. I’m guessing it was originally gifted to them on Easter, but it became The One. It’s so weird what kids pick.
Rainbow Hair says
Hey, post on your local mom’s group’s FB to see if someone can find you a replacement! I replaced our very-99-cent-store-seeming pink dog thingie using a lead someone found me on ebay… it’s a bit of breathing room, knowing that “Birdie” can get lost at least once before our lives are over.
Anon says
We have jellycat bear. Unbelievably soft and classic looking. (Lovey, however, is a sloth and some haster fox thing.)
avocado says
Are you looking for an heirloom bear that will not really get played with, or something baby can actually use? If the latter, it should be machine-washable and have appliqued or embroidered eyes instead of glass or button eyes. My daughter had a nice bear meeting these requirements from Gund. Also try Pottery Barn Kids.
Newbie Momma says
Ours was gifted a Steiff bear. DH had one when he was little that has help up through the years, so it was more tradition that anything else that drove the gift. I like the idea of the “first bear” sticking around for the long haul.
Anonymous says
I vote for Steiff as well – doesn’t get more classic than that.
Teddy bear recs? says
Steiff is a good suggestion. I still have my first and second bear (AG Bear – it’s been devoiced). The first bear was from Sears – they tried to induce my mom at 35 weeks and my dad got sent to go and buy some useful things. Returned with an itsy bitsy bear.
Strollers says
My son loves a Hazel Village animal that was given to him. It also has his name embroidered in a heart on its chest. Pricey, but a lovely thing.
AIMS says
My favorite stuffed toys are by Jellycat. They are so soft that I want to cuddle them. And my daughter did end up falling in love with on of her Jellycat toys. They have bears. http://www.jellycat.com/bears/
Maddie Ross says
+1 to Jellycat. I love the bears, but also all of the other animals.
shortperson says
+2. my daughter sleeps with a jellycat zoo at this point. they are so cute that when she walks around with one she gets a lot of positive reactions. i definitely push the jellycats to minimize interest in the hideous sparkly things.
Jen says
+++ to jellycat. I have 3 girls and their fave stuffed animals are all jellycat: bunny, alligator, and skunk. Pretty telling of their personalities, too…
JTX says
+4 to Jellycat. Well-made, soft and cute. They are also available on Amazon and Nordstrom.com.
SBJ says
Late, but if you’re still reading-Jellycat stuffed animals are lovely and there’s a company that will embroider baby’s name on a Jellycat bunny ear. I may or may not have bought one in a flood of lovely hormones post-delivery. As someone who hates all monogrammed things for kids. Kiddo is so far lukewarm on stuffed animals, but that one will forever be special to me. http://peekawhoo.com/monogrammed-bunnies/
Gender Disappointment? says
I’m 12 weeks pregnant and we found out yesterday that baby is a girl. I was pretty open to either gender, so I knew I’d be happy either way, but DH was convinced we were having a boy and is pretty upset. He’s always wanted a son (he talked about it at length well before we even wanted kids). He won’t really talk about his feelings right now in much detail, but I can tell that his enthusiasm and excitement for the baby is completely different than what it was before we found out the gender. We do plan on having a second kid, for what it’s worth.
On one hand, I can relate to his disappointment. I’m really excited about having a daughter, so I can understand the sense of loss that he feels over not being able to bond with the son he imagined. On the other hand, I’m really hurt by the fact he can’t celebrate this healthy baby girl that we tried for 7+ months. I feel so lucky to be pregnant (even if the first trimester has been misery) that I can’t understand just not being excited at all.
Did anyone else go through this – either themselves or with their partner? How can I help him get over it?
Anon says
So gender disappointment is super common, I wouldn’t worry.
THAT BEING SAID, why why why do men want boys? Look around and there’s obviously exceptions to the rule, but little girls love dads. And I know a lot of little boys who are definitely more attached to their moms. I mean, it might sound silly to say he’ll have fun being the favorite, but I’m pretty sure my daughter’s favorite is going to be her dad from ages 4 to 24 and that will be fun for both of them.
My son’s a total mamma’s boy and that’s just fine by me too :) I know it’s stereotyping but still. If men were rational, they’d want girls!
mascot says
He may have cast a son in the movie in his mind about all the things he will do as a parent- I mean, you have to pick one or the other when daydreaming and it’s easy to pick whatever matches your gender since you are most familiar with that one, right? I think you will both find out that 99% of the things that you do as a parent aren’t dependent on gender. (Unless he had his heart set on teaching someone to pee standing up and making a pinewood derby car). I also think that the bonding happens in pregnancy for moms and post-birth for dads because it’s not real to them until they are holding the baby. Women get a 9 month head start on that reality. Give him some time and space to process this. He will come around eventually and love that little girl.
E says
I agree so much with these last two sentences. For so many dads, it’s just not real until the baby is born. We had our first during a busy and stressful time of our lives, and I think my H was actually resentful of the baby until she was born…..never came to doctors appts, and was just not excited. But when he first set eyes on our daughtee in the hospital, his heart turned into a puddle and has been wrapped around her little fingers ever since. She just wasn’t real to him until he could see her and hold her. So hang in there, it might be a long pregnancy but I’m sure your husband will fall in love when the baby is born.
FTMinFL says
+1 to this, in particular the part about “the movie in his mind.” Our first is a boy, but my DH painted a picture of his future with three sons (no daughters). When we found out that #2 is a girl, it took him a good two months to grieve the fantasy he’d been rehearsing. We still have 8 weeks to go until #2 is born, but he has since taken over shopping for frilly little dresses and bows!
All of the changes that take place in pregnancy and baby’s first year are tough and, as much as you go through them together, you and DH may process them differently and on different timelines. You’ve got a headstart because little one will kick you, hiccup inside you, and otherwise affect every aspect of your life for a long time before DH gets to live this new reality. Give each other so much grace through this process. You will both be in love with the sweet baby girl you are holding before you know it!
Anonymous says
This happened to me when I found out I had twin boys. I had a girl already and I couldn’t wrap my head around what it would be like to be a ‘boy’ mom. Other than diaper changes, there’s not a huge difference.
Try talking to your husband about what he imagines doing with your baby as they grow up. Very little of that has changed. Try referring to the baby as your child or your kid for a while to reduce gender stereotyping in his mind about what it means to have a girl.
My husband was nervous before our daughter was born. And now she’s 6, they go on all kinds of bicycling, hiking, and fishing adventures together. She picked up his love of the outdoors and I can totally see them taking backpacking or kayaking trips together when she’s older.
A says
I wanted a girl. We found out the gender because I had such a strong preference. When I found out, I was disappointed to learn that I was having a boy. It took some time, now, I am thrilled that I have a boy. Give your husband some time to adjust.
NewMomAnon says
This happens to both moms and dad, and it’s probably good that it happened while you are very early stage pregnant so he can deal with those feelings early on. I would let him work through whatever he’s feeling on his own, unless he wants to talk about it; I would guess he’s feeling some embarrassment and wanting to protect you from his negative feelings. Honor that or you’ll get some big blow ups.
Also, did you see the recent APA study showing that dads were much more responsive and engaged with toddler daughters than they are with toddler sons? I’ve been very surprised by how engaged kiddo’s dad is with kiddo (a girl); he was disappointed that she was a girl, but man, is he a good dad to her. I don’t think he would be as open about discussing feelings with a boy, but somehow it’s OK with a girl.
Jen says
My husband has 3 girls. His hobbies are boats, cars, woodworking, football, beer brewing, etc. guess who his helpers are? Our 2 older girls have kid tool sets and coveralls and “ear googles” and they do projects together- my 3 year old knows her numbers because of the inscriptions in the socket wrench set.
My middle one is the only one that is into football, but it is their thing. She has a team shirt, they make snacks, etc.
My older one plays lacrosse just like daddy did, so they have that.
Honestly I am shocked at how good a “girl dad” he became. He paints nails but has yet to wear a boa and do a tea party ;).
Pogo says
So common. I think I posted this before, but a friend who is one and done actually cried at her u/s when they told her it was a boy. Now of course she couldn’t imagine having anything other than a boy.
I agree with others to just refer to baby as “baby” or other non-gendered term and talk about all the fun things you’ll do with baby, which are definitely not gender specific. Or try to understand what it is about a boy he was envisioning that’s making him so sad, and point out examples among your friends or even strangers to show he can still do that with a girl. For example, if you pass a girls’ softball team practicing you could say “Aw, just think when baby is old enough you can help coach her team!” – if he was hung up on teaching a boy how to play ball.
Anon in NYC says
Yes – happened to me. I was convinced that I was having a boy and was initially a little sad about having a girl. Not because I didn’t want a girl (I did), but because I had started to envision a life with a little boy. My husband said that he was happy either way, and he apparently meant it because he was fine. I felt SO guilty about feeling disappointed. It took me a few weeks to get over my disappointment, but I did before I gave birth. And now that she’s here and we’re contemplating #2, I’m hoping for another girl!
Rainbow Hair says
It depends on the kind of person your husband is, but my husband and I had a lot of fun imagining all the ways his [quintessentially ‘dude’] interests and hobbies and skills would enhance a girl’s life. Like “you will teach our daughter to climb trees! she’ll be so muddy and silly! is she going to like fart jokes like you do? [answer, sadly, yes] she’s gonna be the girl all the guys want on their baseball team!” etc. Maybe sharing that kind of vision would help?
Anon says
Also my daughter is really into football and I’m not sure my son will be sporty. He might get the gender he wanted but not the KID he was envisioning. I’d say have fun planning and dreaming but parenting is one big lesson in realizing you don’t have much control over anything – and you’ll love it/them no matter what!
Anon says
We waited for the 20 week ultrasound – at which point we found out we were having a girl. Other than 1 dream that she was a she very early on, I hadn’t had strong feelings but thought I wanted a girl (I am one of three girls, no brothers – I know girls). But everyone (including my mother) was convinced it was a boy (pick your folklore test) and I had really come around to having a boy (I grew up as a bit of a tomboy). Husband (only child) definitely wanted a boy, envisioned having a boy. I was inexplicably a little sad (but thrilled she was healthy!) but got my thinking reoriented quickly. Husband took a few weeks before getting really excited about having a girl. One conversation to the effect of “but I can’t teach her to play football” to which I responded “yes you can, your wife throws a football better than your friends!” helped – I think he started realizing he can do all the things with her. He’s also coming around to how daughters love their daddies and when we walked into Babies R Us he was all “the girl stuff is so pretty and the boy stuff is so boring!” It also REALLY helped when he could feel her – little flutters at first and now walloping kicks, which he thinks are so cool. She basically high-fived him in the womb the other day (he’s done enough petting to tell hands vs. feet) and his face was priceless. He’s still talking about it.
Anonymous says
Depending on how progressive he is, it might be helpful to remind him that having a child born male is no guarantee of having an adult male child and certainly no guarantee of having a hetero male son who conforms to gender stereotypes.
I would also probably be a little more direct than other posters have suggested. I would probably have one conversation with him where I was more supportive, listened to his concerns and reassured him that he will still have lots of fun parenting a girl. And then I’d say – as kindly as I could – “Hey, I get that you’re disappointed but it took us a little while to conceive this child and I’m the one that has to carry it and your lack of enthusiasm now that you found out it’s a girl is bumming me out. Time to move on, at least around me.”
Anonymous says
Great advice. Be empathetic but not self sacrificing. Pregnancy isn’t easy.
Anon Mom says
Gender disappointment is real. My husband wanted a little girl so bad he cried (and not tears of joy) when we found out we having a boy. Fast forward 25 months, he looooves the little guy.
Give your husband some time to get over it and maybe help him out by suggesting fun things he can do with the little baby girl (clue: anything you can do with a little baby boy)
Anonymous says
I thought I was having a girl, found out via genetic testing it was a boy. Husband was elated (jumped on chair, ala Tom Cruise 2005) and I was a bit disappointed (grew up with a sister, didn’t really spend time around boys when growing up). Fast forward to now (son is 9 months old) and I can’t imagine life without my little boy. We are TTC #2 and people ask whether we want a girl – we both do, but I would be just as happy with another boy. Someone noted that when taking care of child, gender doesn’t really matter at first and by the time it does, you’re already in love with them. Plus, it’s 2017 – girls play tons of sports, go hunting and golfing, etc (whatever your husband is into) and boys can do “girly” activities. The way I look at it, if we have all boys, my husband can take them away for boys’ weekends and I can go to the spa. We have lots of “manly” friends with little girls and they’re all totally in love with their little girls. He will get over it and this will all seem so silly.
37 Weeks and Counting says
Any advice about what should I be doing in advance of baby that I haven’t thought of yet? (Yes, I know – sleeping). We’ve got the nursery put together, a basic supply of hygiene and diaper products, clothes are washed, car seat is installed. I feel like we’re “ready” but that means I’m probably forgetting something important. What did you do in the last couple weeks to prepare that was totally worth it? What did you not have done that would have made life easier? I’ve got all this nesting energy and want to use it productively. Thanks!
shortperson says
photo album of pre baby life
TK says
We did a little video for baby at 39 weeks, talking about how excited we were to meet him / her and we did a little tour of the nursery. We watch it together now every year on his birthday – he just turned 3. He says: “Mommy! That’s me in there when I lived in you!”
Pogo says
I’m copying you. That is THE cutest.
NewMomAnon says
Put all bills on autopay. Understand your insurance; which insurance will cover your care, which insurance will cover baby, does the hospital have that insurance information on file already, etc. Find a good “new moms” group in your local area that meets regularly (i.e., not a drop-in structure, but an actual “register for X weeks and attend regularly” structure). Download some TED talks or podcasts or whatever on your phone for late-night marathon feedings.
Other thoughts, if you really want to get crazy: grease all your door hinges. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors pre-emptively so they don’t start beeping in the middle of the night and wake up baby (ask me how I know). Tighten any fasteners in your bed frame so it doesn’t squeak when you get in and out. Disable your doorbell. Install a thermostat that you can control via your phone so you can change the temperature during aforementioned marathon feeding sessions without leaving your glider/couch/whatever.
CLMom says
Stock the fridge/pantry with (very) easy to eat items. I remember one day only having hot chocolate to “eat” because I didn’t have the time or energy to prepare something.
Download a TV remote control app onto your phone.
Anon in NYC says
Yes – a variety of food items would be nice. I always struggled with breakfast. My husband doesn’t think to eat breakfast. And his preferred breakfast and mine are different. It would have been SO nice to have breakfast items on hand (frozen breakfast burritos, maybe?).
FTMinFL says
Yes! In my sleep-deprived stupor I completely forgot how to feed myself like a normal human. My entire maternity leave I subsisted on mac n’ cheese and coffee!
You sound like you’ve got baby-care stuff lined up – what about YOU-care stuff? Pads/tucks pads/peri bottles in each bathroom? Bottle of wine for your first night home?
Rainbow Hair says
YES to gathering healthy/tempting snacks. My go-to was high quality dark chocolate + roasted almonds. You’ll be thirsty if you’re nursing, so maybe stock up on coconut water if you like that? A friend who is really organized made herself a little nursing caddy with a cute wheeled bar cart she had. It had a pitcher for water, snacks, n*pple cream, wipes, etc. (probably only works in a stair-less house).
Is your bag for the hospital packed? I reiterate my snacks suggestion for that too!
Have you made detailed lists of all the ‘not supposed to eat’ foods you’re going to eat once baby is born? (Ha, guess who is hungry while she’s commenting!)
Do you have stuff to wear postpartum, while you’re doing that seminaked/tired/hopefully blissful hanging around the house the first few days? I got a nice stretchy robe and some slippers.
Excited for you!
NewMomAnon says
Being the glamorous mom that I am, I had a fanny pack with a water bottle holder as my “nursing caddy.” Worked great in my three-level townhouse.
GCA says
That’s brilliant! I spent most of my maternity leave idly wondering if I could mount a cup holder and snack tray on a Roomba and get it to sidle up to me in times of need.
jules says
If you are going to send a “baby’s here!” email, create a draft (can be totally empty now) with all recipients’ emails filled in. Then you / your partner can add a first pic and quick message and send. Just remember to say “mom and baby are doing well” or else people worry. My husband forgot and everyone became concerned when we announced my twins’ early arrival….
Also, make sure the hospital bag is packed (see: early arrival) and that you have comfy semi-disposable clothes to wear in the hospital (and shower shoes).
anon says
Get recommendations for a lactation consultant and learn where you can get breast pump parts (or rent a hospital grade pump) locally and quickly. Set up a draft email or text to announce the birth.
AIMS says
You can order a pump through your insurance before baby is born.
Also 37 weeks says
Here are some other things I have done or plan to do in the last few weeks: pick a pediatrician, file my leave claim with my company’s third party administrator (Can be done 30 days before leave), make a dozen freezer meals so I don’t starve after baby is born, pack hospital bags for me and baby (DH can pack his own), clean out guest space since my mom will be staying with us for a few weeks, stock up on household supplies so I have to do minimal shopping, order my breast pump, sterilize bottles and pacifiers, get car seat checked by professional to ensure it is properly installed, go on a fancy date with my husband, and get a pedicure and a prenatal massage.
Anon says
Household: bills on autopay, find house cleaner / service recommendations (if you’re in an apartment building a neighbor’s house cleaner may be able to squeeze half sessions in or take you on as a once a month client), KonMarie all of your stuff, start baby proofing, check budget/cancel unneeded services, get a household information binder and update it with insurance policy, student loan, mortgage, information; start a binder for baby warranty cards in case things are recalled. Make master calendar of important dates that you just remember, including things you need to schedule (hair cuts, doctor appts for you, twice yearly shopping days)birthdays and holidays have two week prior reminders so you can get things ordered and delivered from Amazon. Get Amazon Prime membership. Interview backup nannies/babysitters/services if you already have a daycare. Have plan (or pre-labled boxes for #2!) for packing away/giving away outgrown baby clothes and items.
You: Dentist, hair cut, mani/pedi, (if possible, schedule next hair appt for end of mat leave, next dentist appt for six months, etc.) Frozen meals, snacks and an ereader full of fun books make nursing better. Find a mom group now, so you don’t have to think about it when you feel like you’ll go crazy not talking to another adult. Comfy clothes (a robe with pockets or soft edged cardigan with pockets).
Also, an infant CPR class never hurts!
Blueberry says
Gosh these are good. Saving these all and definitely saving the nursing fanny pack idea from NewMomAnon :) Nothing worse than being stuck in a marathon newborn nursing session with no hydration and no form of entertainment. OK, plenty of things are worse, but it is very boring and thirsty. A bathrobe with pockets is also nice; I lived in mine.
Anonymous says
Read some advice on baby sleep issues. I cannot believe how unprepared I was for the extreme worst of sleep issues, and I had no energy or brain power available to learn about this stuff once I was actually in the depths of total sleep deprivation. Seriously – consider reading a little bit about this from the preciouslittlesleep.com website or elsewhere. If your baby is anything like mine, you’ll thank me!
Frozen Peach says
Late to this party but a couple more recs–
Get yourself some of the fancy Depends that are black and look like underwear. Much nicer and easier for the first week home.
Pick up a few cheap maxi dresses you can easily get your boobs in and out of. You want them to be cheap because if you’re like me, you will eventually hate the sight of them and want to toss them all.
Paper plates. OMG. SO helpful in the early days when you have lots of company and doing dishes is incredibly challenging.
Make yourself some “padsicles.” Google it.
AnonMom says
My 9 month old baby refuses to eat veggies. I puree them and add formula but he still refuses to eat them. The only vegetable he likes is sweet potato. He likes only cereal and fruit. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Jen says
Make them into patties. Zuchini patties, baked sweet potato “fries”, mix veggies and fruit (carrots and apples). Try things like mixing them into mashed potato- that’s the only way my kid will eat peas. My just turns 10 month old loves corn kernels fresh off the cob.
So, keep trying, use potatos as a chaser, and when desperate, sneak into patties.
Jen says
And if he’s still all purées, try mixing carrots and oatmeal. And heating really helps if he’s getting them cold.
Fwiw when my babybrejects something I have my older kids trybit. If they say it’s gross, I believe them and move on. They’re great eaters but wanted nothing to do with purées peas!
Rainbow Hair says
I made broccoli patties — steamed smooshed broccoli, breadcrumbs, shredded cheddar, plus a little egg to bind it, baked. They’re objectively delicious. We also did savory pancakes with shredded zucchini in em.
Anon says
I am reasonably certain I did not eat vegetables until college (other than iceberg lettuce, corn and potatoes, which probably aren’t the veggies you had in mind) and I did turn out okay – maybe it was the flinstones chewable vitamins that saved me? My mother to this day eats hardly any vegetables, although about 10 years ago we at least got her to upgrade to romaine lettuce and eat the occasional sweet potato. When I add vegetables to my meatloaf for her (usually just green pepper and onion, sometimes a carrot for sweetness), I put them in the food processor so they are the same texture as the ground beef and she doesn’t notice as much, so meatloaf may be an option (I have no idea if 9 month olds can eat meatloaf).
I wonder if roasting the veggies so they are sweeter will help? Maybe different textures? Can you feed the baby soups (again – no idea what 9 month olds can eat)? I find butternut squash similar in taste/texture to sweet potato, so maybe try some squashes to see if that fits better.
I also read somewhere on a food blog that kids/babies have to try a new food 10-20 times before they acquire a taste for it, so maybe just keep on trying?
ElisaR says
yes – keep on trying. My son rejected a bunch and I wasted so much food but just gave it to him over and eventually he ate spinach balls (baked w/ ricotta cheese), carrots, cauliflower and many others
anon says
Mix them with fruit so they are sweeter.
mascot says
Fruit has fiber/vitamins too and he’s still getting the majority of his calories from formula so don’t worry too much from a nutritional standpoint. I agree with the suggestions to keep offering a variety of textures and tastes. Eventually he will get better about it. If allergies aren’t a concern and you don’t use too much salt, can you just offer him safely sized bites of whatever veggies you are eating?
Anonymous says
Food before 1 is only for fun?
Re-introduce in another month and see what happens. Kids will never enjoy veggies as much as fruits. You could also try a fruit/veg mix? Or something like sweet potato and carrot?
Good luck.
AIMS says
Maybe don’t add formula? That sounds unappetizing to me so maybe it’s equally unappetizing to baby. I did a lot of sweeter veggies at first, pureed and blended in a food processor. If sweet potatoes are a hit, try carrots or zucchini. By 9 months I was doing zucchini cooked very soft in teeny bites. Just keep offering. Kids change their mind a lot. My kid loved sweet potatoes and now hates them, hated bananas and now loves them. I would just keep trying and maybe add a little bit of cinnamon or other flavor to them – it should taste good!
Blueberry says
Just keep on trying is my best advice, even if it seems like you’re just throwing food away. There are studies showing that what it really takes to start liking something is lots of repeated exposure. I agree that making them into patties and other delicious vehicles may help. Maybe also try cheese on top?
JTX says
Here are some combos my kids liked:
Zucchini (I always peeled the zucchini before making the puree) + pear
Avocado + banana
Butternut squash + apple
Anon says
Avocado and kiwi both are full of all the same good things as other green veggies, these are my go-to on no veggie weeks.
I found my LO likes her veggies roasted. I also add (a little!) spinach or broccoli to her cheesy scrambled eggs and she only gets mac and cheese and peas (never mac and cheese). She’ll eat artichoke hearts and peppers and broccoli in quiche. She’ll eat beans but not lentils. We started with hummus on crackers and now she just eats hummus off a spoon. She likes to feed herself so roasted baby carrots are better than carrot puree. Canned pumpkin in yogurt.
I liked Tyler Florence’s Start Fresh cookbook. It had flavor combos that I wouldn’t have thought of, which I don’t think is always true in baby food cookbooks.
avocado says
If he is still on purees, try jars or pouches. My kid refused to eat any homemade purees but would eagerly devour anything from a jar, even spinach. I think she liked the smoother, more uniform texture of the commercial purees.
If he’s eating finger foods, try spinach ravioli.
shortperson says
keep offering, all different ways. add some herbs. i.e. cauliflower steamed in milk with rosemary. peas with mint. helps a lot. bebe gourmet has tasty veggie puree receipes.
Thisperson1 says
My lo hated purees but loved real food. At 17 months he still eats pretty much everything, although anything legume/bean is a favorite.
CLMom says
Perhaps incremental introduction? Like 75% sweet potato, 25% cauliflower, then 50/50%, then 25/75%.
CLMom says
Whoops. Intended for the post above.
Macademia says
I just ordered this dress in a third pattern (the grey with dots). My favorite is the navy with the larger birds. The dress suits my academic work environment.
anon for this- says
I suspect I’m having a miscarriage and I’m just so frustrated with the medical establishment. Sigh. I’m really just posting to complain. If I am still pregnant, I’m only around 7 weeks so it is super early. Started spotting on Friday and then bleeding Sunday/Monday. Yay to things like this happening on the holiday weekend. Talked to the consulting nurse twice, who was basically like just rest, monitor and call your doc on Tuesday. I get that going to the ER didn’t make sense, but the waiting is killing me. Called on Tuesday, they got me in for an ultrasound this morning. Just had it and was told nothing by the tech, but she boogied out of there after having been friendly “As soon as you are dressed, feel free to leave!” Like, I get she maybe can’t tell me but she could tell me to call my doctor at least. I also started bleeding more (after a break on Tuesday) after she tried the regular ultrasound and then she had to do a transV ultrasound. My doctors office is closed until 1230 and I’m just waiting so I can call and leave a message for their triage person. I get that these things can take time and that they don’t have the same urgency, but the waiting is so stressful. I’m at least working from home because I don’t think I could handle going back to work. We have a nearly 5 yro and I’m close to 40. If this is it, it will be okay, but it still makes me so sad. And if it’s okay, I just want to know too. Argh.
Anon in NYC says
I’m so sorry. Hugs.
Pogo says
Massive hugs.
I would be livid if I were you, btw. When I had first tri bleeding they got me in ASAP for an ultrasound and the first thing the tech said was “there’s a heartbeat”, so I could breathe a sigh of relief. Then the on-call doctor read the scan immediately and came in to talk to me (not my doctor, but I didn’t care, and she was so, so nice).
I think it’s pretty cruel they have made you do so much waiting. I have been very impressed with how kind and helpful the on-call nurse and doctors have been. I would be really annoyed if I were you and I think you’re within your rights to be more persistent.
lsw says
Ugh. I’m so sorry. I hope you get news soon.
ElisaR says
i’m sorry that is so terrible – how is it that they can’t figure out a better way to communicate with patients? i’m sending you positive vibes….hang in there.
Thisperson1 says
I’m so sorry. I had frequent bleeding with my last pregnancy, so scary and frustrating. Hope you have good news.
AIMS says
I’m really sorry. I hope it’s nothing. Whatever it is, I would consider a new doctor’s office. My doctor would have seen me right away in this situation and her responsiveness is one of the reasons I chose her. Fingers crossed for you getting good news.
Anon says
I am a physician and am so sorry you’re going through this. I think if you’re able, you may wish to consider going to a different obstetrics practice–their field is the quintessential “always on call” field and for that practice not to have someone covering 24/7 is inexcusable. And thAt ultrasound tech didn’t sound great either. Hugs.
anon for this-OP says
Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. I did get a quick call back from the triage nurse when they opened after lunch and the ultrasound apparently showed no sign of pregnancy. So she had me come in for a blood test and will repeat on Friday, on the off chance it was just really early (but I feel like it’s more likely I’m not pregnant anymore, and I’m kind of ready to just deal with that, so it’s frustrating to wait but I understand). After I got through a small meltdown when I had to go another lab because my insurance now requires them to be done at that lab, I got through it and am at home eating cookies while my kid is still at daycare. Unfortunately I live in a smaller market and this practice is pretty well regarded, so I’m probably staying, but I really appreciate the suggestions to change. This community is pretty great and I really appreciated the responses.
Blueberry says
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Big hug. I’m glad you can eat cookies by yourself right now.
AwayEmily says
Also really sorry to hear this. Even if you’ve kind of accepted it, it’s still super tough — and seven weeks (or five, I guess, given weird pregnancy math) is a long time to think about the possible-baby, imagine names, due dates, things you will be pregnant for…it’s a lot to then give up. Good luck.
Anon for this says
On a scale of “meh” to “lifelong therapy”, how bad is it that I don’t want to take my 2 year old’s pacifier away? Why is parenting so hard sometimes?
Anon says
My parents took my pacifier away around then…so I became a thumb sucker, until age 9.
Can you confine the pacifier to nap/bed and just let it be? As they say, no one goes to college with a pacifier. And everyone seems to need braces anyway, whether they used a pacifier or not.
Anonymous says
meh.
Rainbow Hair says
We scaled back pacifier to (1) in the car and (2) during lullabies (but not in the crib). She loves knowing the rules, so she’s happy to say “[pacifier] doesn’t go in the crib!” It worked surprisingly well. But I suspect the final transition will be hard.
JTX says
Meh. We tried several times and it was easier after he got a bit older. We limited it to nap/nighttime and eventually gave him some kind of bribe to trade them in. Also played up the “big kid” aspect a lot.
Pigpen's Mama says
Meh
We also did a gradual scaling back starting at about 2 — car and crib only, then crib only, then finally we said it was done. We watched a lot of the Elmo “Bye Bye Binky” episodes, had a book, and then let her know that if she collected all her pacifiers, she could trade them in at the toy store for any toy she wanted — we had a rough few nights (including a few where she wanted to sleep with her new toy) and then she was fine (although bedtime did get longer due to stalling tactics).
lsw says
I have ~28 days of pumping left to get to one year. I’m struggling. It’s helping to tick the days off (using my Ink + Volt planner “30 day goals” – love this planner; thank you to whoever on here recommended it!). I want to have some sort of fabulous reward for myself on July 11. Any suggestions? It helps to keep the cost low-ish, as we are buying another house and carrying two payments for a few months. I just want something I can use as the carrot on the stick because these last few weeks are going so slow…
Newbie Momma says
Can you plan something for yourself that you’ve avoided b/c it’d be a pain to stop everything to pump (i.e. spa day?). And congrats on making it so long! I’m only 4 months in and already loosely planning my weaning trip (Napa). It’s fun to day dream about at least.
Rainbow Hair says
A dress that it would be too annoying to pump in!? That’s what I got myself.
lsw says
Yes! I love both of those.