This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
This box o’ towels has come in handy for a million things around the house. I’m always trying to reduce my usage of paper towels, and the nationwide shortage really kicked me into gear. I’ve been wiping down bathroom and kitchen surfaces with a diluted bleach mixture once every week and a half or so, and probably more once my son goes back to daycare — and these rags are great for doing that.
They’re also great for spills, art projects, cleaning around window ledges, and sliding door tracks… places that would normally take A LOT of paper towels to get fully clean. I just pop mine in the washing machine and dryer and don’t care if they’re stained, as long as they’re clean.
They are $13.97 for a pack of 50 at Home Depot. Painter’s Towels
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonanonanon says
I really struggle with transitioning from paper towels to towels. I’m really particular when it comes to some types of cleaning, and I find towels leave things streakier, I have to wipe for longer, etc. I have good microfiber cloths that work on stainless steel, but I haven’t found anything that works on mirrors or windows as well as paper towels.
Anon says
I suppose my solution of just never cleaning the windows isn’t really the right answer, huh.
We have microfiber cloths that we used for most things (cleaning counters and sinks, wiping up kid spills, etc) but also have some cotton rags made from old sheets that work pretty well for mirrors and windows. Definitely work better than the microfiber.
Lana Del Raygun says
Ha, that’s my solution too.
Anonymous says
+1
Spirograph says
Newsprint works best on mirrors and windows! I don’t have a print newspaper subscription at the moment, but I save grocery store coupon mailers and use those.
IHeartBacon says
+1
FVNC says
For windows and mirrors we use my husband’s old undershirts — they work great.
KatieWolf says
I have found that 100% cotton, washed at least a dozen times on hot prior to use, is the trick. I learned this from cloth diapering – the natural oils in the cotton take a long time to wash out, and the cotton isnt as absorbent until it’s sufficiently prepped. Hence why I always opt for the old dish cloths! I also use microfiber. I find paper towels leave lint.
Anonymous says
My mother used to clean glass with old cloth diapers.
GCA says
yeah, I use old cloth diapers to clean so many things – just launder everything on hot. (Although we are still actual-cloth-diapering kid 2, so I mark the cleaning ones RAG and/or cut them up.)
AnotherAnon says
What’s your favorite mascara? Can be drugstore or splurge.
Mrs. Jones says
CoverGirl Lash Blast Volume in an orange tube
rakma says
+1. Minimal smudging, and nice, even coating.
Anon says
+2
Lana Del Raygun says
Covergirl Clump Crusher (green tube)
Pogo says
I’m loyal to Benefit They’re Real.
KatieWolf says
Ilia Limitless Lash – the WAND!!! its amazing.
onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Really liking the new L’Oreal Bambi Eye
Anon says
How did we as a society forget about the existence of rags? I feel like I’ve seen this topic come up so many times this year in different places. Even my husband found it weird when I was wiping the baby’s face off with a rag instead of a paper towel when he first started eating solids. Maybe I’m cheap, idk. :)
Marshmallow says
No, I feel the same way. We do purchase paper towels but I almost never use them unless I’m cleaning up something really gross that I just want to throw away and never see again. I use flour sack towels or those reusable cellulose dish cloths for almost everything. Microfiber or old cotton tee shirts for cleaning.
Same thing with cleaning wipes. A friend posted on Facebook looking for a “recipe” for “homemade Clorox wipes.” Cleaning spray and a rag, seriously.
Anonymous says
+1, paper towels are for cat puke and squishing bugs. Rags for all else.
rosie says
Agree. I have a stack of those plain Gerber cloth diapers that we originally used as burp cloths and now repurpose for toddler eating and assorted spills. I think it probably keeps things cleaner because I’d be much more reluctant to use a paper towel but will reach for a rag/cloth diaper without thinking twice.
Mrs. Jones says
Once our towels get old/stained, I use them as rags to clean up whatever.
Beth says
I never appreciated rags until I had kids. Now we still use burp cloths or surgical towels for almost all cleaning in hour house. I rarely use paper towels anymore just because I feel like the rags are easier.
Anonymous says
Any moms have suggestions from transitioning from the bottle to a sippy cup for whole milk? Specifics: My son is 12.5 months old, and for months 10-12, was a formula fed baby. Would drink out of any bottle and was doing great with drinking water at meals out of two different types of sippy cups and a straw cup. He’s fully handling the sippy cups on his own as he gets thirsty during meals. We spent about 3 days transitioning from formula in bottles to whole milk in bottles and it went great – he loves milk. However, we cannot get him to drink milk out of the sippy cups. Again – great with milk, great with sippy cups, but put milk in a sippy cup and I’ve now experienced my first kid tantrums. Any advice, suggestions, or commiseration are welcome and appreciated. TIA!
Anon says
We used the Punta Kiki Sippy for that transition, it worked for us cause it’s basically kiiiinnndd of like a bottle.
Anon says
Gah, Pura not Punta! Autocorrect!
TheElms says
Lot of commiseration. I think I would just give it time. Stick with milk in a bottle for a couple weeks and give it another go then. Any chance he is teething or about to learn to walk? That might be making him fussier than normal. Also is the sippy cup clear? If not, could be be surprised by finding milk in the sippy cup rather than water?
Could you show him that its milk first and give him a sippy cup with milk and a sippy cup with water and let him choose?
For what its worth, I think you are ahead of the game. My daughter is the same age and we aren’t doing nearly as well as you with the transition. We’ve been offering cups with water (unweighted straw, weighted straw, miracle 360, open) since 6 months and 5 times a day since 10 months and she still won’t really drink any water out of a cup. She doesn’t get straws at all (we tried showing her with a honey bear straw cup that you slowly squeeze the water up the straw but she either doesn’t get it or doesn’t want to drink out of a straw), but she knows how to lift the miracle 360 cup to her mouth and drink from it. That said, 9 times out of 10 she just spits the water out. We’re still mixing formula and milk – going on about a month and its finally seeming to go a bit better.
Anon says
it is so interesting how kids are all so different. i have twins. we had been doing formula out of a bottle and water out of a straw cup (the munchkin weighted straw cup). we decided to do cold turkey from formula in bottle to whole milk in a cup. if we had trouble then we were going to try to do it gradually. one twin honestly didn’t blink an eye. the other was sad and tantrumed for like a minute the first 3 times and then was fine. they are now 2 and we recently switched from whole milk to 2%/skim/1% and they haven’t batted an eye, which is crazy to me bc they must all taste so different. how long are the tantrums? could you just not give in and hope that after a few days your kid drinks milk? i also know some kids don’t ever drink milk (i didnt as a kid) and get dairy/calcium through other sources
Anonymous says
Tantrums are 15+ minutes. We have gone three days with him only getting in like an ounce or two of milk over the course of an entire day. While we can get him to eat a little yogurt (maybe 1/4 cup once a day), that’s the only other source of calcium that he is getting right now, so we’re focused on trying to get him drinking milk (especially in light of the fact that he seems to LOVE milk if it comes out of a bottle (can you tell I’m a bit frustrated? 1+1 is equaling a big ol’ zero in our case…)), so I’m not ready to give up on having him drink whole milk.
Lana Del Raygun says
What kind of sippy cups are you using? I would try one with a soft silicone spout if you’re using a hard plastic one, since it’s more like a bottle, and then you could transition to a silicone straw later if you want.
Anonymous says
Thanks everyone! We started out with water in the Nuby No-Spill Super Spout Grip N’ Sip Cup, which has a soft silicon spout. While great since they’re lightweight, they are not leak proof (and our son loves waving the cup around in one hand or banging it on the table) so lots of water leaks out. Also, the spout is pretty fast flowing, so he will just drink and drink and then is coughing because he has too much water. So we have started to transition to water the Munchkin 360 cup, since multiple friends have said that is the most leak-proof cup they have found. We have also had water in the munchkin weighted straw cup. I purchased the Nuk Evolution 360 cup (clear) for milk (so we would have a milk cup and water cup) on the rec of a friend with a daughter 3 months older than my son and that has been rejected. I also purchased the Green Spouts glass cup (so that there wouldn’t be a funky milk smell in the plastic cups) and that is also not a hit.
The Nuby and Munchkin 360 cups he’s been using consistently since like March for water. He can pick them up on his own and drink water out of them with no problems (other than too much water from Nuby sometimes). At first I tried milk out of the Nuk Evolution cup (to basically be like – this is your milk cup/not have him be surprised that the milk is coming out of a”water” cup). That was instant rejection. I tried the green sprouts one, which, since it’s glass, is rather heavy, so neither one of us are big fans of that one. We have then put milk in the Nuby cup (which he’s be using the longest of all cups) and he’ll have a sip every few minutes for about 5 minutes and then rejects the cup. But if you put water back in the Nuby he drinks it down and put the milk in a bottle he drinks it down like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s just weird since all the pieces are great, but not the combination. His nanny thinks his ninth(!) tooth is starting to come in, and he might be fairly close to walking.
TheElms says
I really would wait for the tooth to come in and for him to start walking. You might drive yourself nuts otherwise. And I am really so sympathetic because I’ve tried lots of cups for water and no dice. I figure if we haven’t made any progress by about 15 months we’ll go cold turkey on bottles. And don’t forget about cheese and tofu as a potential source of calcium!
Anon says
We had a big standoff with DD at the same age. We did two things: (1) milk had it’s own type of sippy cup (360 cups) vs water that were in other cups and we stayed consistent. We think for a while she was getting all fluid in the same type of cup so would just protest with the expectation we would swap milk for water. Delineating between a milk cup and a water cup we think helped the psychological games she was trying to play (lord help me when she’s a teenager). And (2) we just held firm. She went without milk for probably two days and finally just caved and accepted the cup.
Good luck. It’s not easy but I bet he comes around!!
Anonymous says
This was key for us – milk sippy had to be very distinctive from other sippies for water/diluted juice. We used one of those stainless steel ones that you can put a bottle top or sippy top on. Started with the bottle top and then switched to the same container with the sippy top. Mine always preferred the straw sippies to the spout sippies
octagon says
We used the same type of cup but had one color for milk and one for water, and they never changed.
Anon says
My twins were totally willing to drink milk out of sippy cups except when they saw the younger babies at daycare getting bottles, which their teachers report would prompt them to throw their sippy cups across the room…
Our strategy was just to cut out bottles completely and only offer sippy cups and once they realized that was the choice, they started drinking milk from them. It’s useful to remember that milk is not actually necessary for kids; it’s a useful source of calcium and fat, but as long as your supplying those elsewhere he could just drink water for a week (or forever) and will be totally healthy.
Pogo says
It was a tough transition for us, and we ended up having the most luck w/ regular ol’ Take n Toss. I also still heat up my almost 3yo’s milk to get him to drink it more quickly. My kid loved a good bottle, lol.
Anonymous says
Just for another perspective — We didn’t make our kid give up the bottle. He didn’t like milk from a sippy cup and is a selective eater so we didn’t want to drop milk from his diet. But he just drank one small bottle per day, before bedtime and we brushed his teeth after. Both doctor and dentist said it was fine.
Anna says
We just let our kid drink two bottles of milk until she turned 3. She drank water from a cup. Not recommended I guess but she is fine.
IHeartBacon says
At about 12 months, I used a shot glass to drink milk at home. It was small enough that he could grab it with his two hands and it helped a lot with his motor skills and oral motor development. It started because I was tired of the tantrums when I he refused to drink milk from his take and toss cup. One day I poured his milk in the shot glass (which was the smallest cup I had) and showed him how to grasp it using his two hands. He clicked with it immediately. I only filled the shot glass about halfway at first to allow for quite a bit of sloshing while he got used to handling the cup. After a few days, I could fill it more. I used the take and toss (with a straw, not a spout) for water when we were out and about.
Anonymous says
We dealt with a similar issue! We had been using the Avent bottles, and we tried Avent’s transition cup, and it went poorly. We gave up and kept giving her milk in bottles.
We waited a few months and tried again, and it was like magic– drank milk out of sippy cup without issue.
Quail says
Bottle strike -commiseration or advice welcome! My eight-month old is refusing her bottle again. When I went back to work when she was 4 months, she refused the bottle for a few days and then got the hang of it (I posted here about her reverse-cycling). Never drank as much during the day as “they” recommend, but her weight was on track and pediatrician was fine with her feeding.
Queue pandemic – we are all at home, trying to juggle everything including “virtual learning” for the preschooler (WTF people) and we figure it won’t last long, so I just nurse her and we don’t keep up the bottles (in hindsight, this was a mistake).
Now months later, stay at home is relaxed, nanny share starts again (YAY), and she’s refusing the bottle. For days. She’s gone three whole days without a drop passing her lips with the nanny. Tried multiple bottles, sippy cups, open cups. My husband can get her to take a bottle sometimes, but the nanny has not been successful. She’s not crying or fussing, although she’s not napping as well. She also isn’t nursing any more at night than she was before. She also basically refuses all solid food – loves to taste it, gag, and spit it out.
Sigh. I feel like we’ve tried all the usual tips. Anyone have success stories that this too will pass? Anyone else’s eight-month-old disdain solid food (I feel like if she ate solids it would help)? At least she’s persistent and steadfast in her convictions.
Anonymous says
Try a straw sippy, or a regular cup with a regular straw, or teaching her to drink from an open cup – have her learn on water so you don’t waste milk.
anon says
My LO when on bottle strike for months. Started daycare at 8 months. Only had spoonfed liquids for about 2 weeks between 7:30 AM at 6 pm. Figured it out / caved. (Like you, you KNOW that she knows how to do it so it is a choice). Sorry about the not taking solids. That would definitely make the whole thing a lot easier. (e.g. mine was taking liquids from a spoon). As long as she is still peeing it is probably ok.
We didn’t have much success with switching cups – but that is worth a try. I do think that when she gets thirsty enough she will drink!
Katarina says
My son is somewhat older, but he has been refusing any liquid other than breastfeeding. I am nursing him four times a day, which is not enough liquid for him, especially because he is eating a significant amount of food, too. FWIW he was not really eating any food at 8 months.
Katarina says
My son is somewhat older, 13 months now, but he has refused bottles and cups. I am nursing four times a day, which is enough that he won’t drink much, but he clearly needs more liquid and I have noticed a notable decrease in wet diapers. He will drink a very small amount of water if it is very hot from an open cup or from an adult bottle squirted into his mouth. FWIW he was not really having any solids at 8 months.
Fetal Arrhythmia in 3rd timester says
I just got back from my 32w appointment, and the midwife said she heard a bit of arrhythmia on the doppler. She didn’t seem too concerned and said it’s fairly common, but of course now I’m freaking out that somethings wrong with the baby’s heart.
I’m going to call the office in a bit when I’ve calmed down some to ask some follow up questions, but has this happened to any of you before? His heart rate, growth, and ultrasounds have been perfectly fine up to this point.
Anonymous says
I’d trust the midwife and call. You could always request an additional anatomy scan with a radiologist or MFM. I have no idea but could it be caffeine related?
OP says
I have been drinking my 1 cup a day this whole pregnancy and am stopping pronto. Dr google says that could be part of it, and it’s an easy enough thing to cut out.
Luckily they were willing and able to move my 2 week appointment up to 1 week from now and will have a listen again. The nurse reassured me it is super common and as long as I’m feeling regular movement still, I shouldn’t worry yet. As I type, he’s doing his favorite stretch while wedging his bum up under my ribs.
Man pregnancy is scary sometimes..
Anonymous says
Trust your instincts, write down some questions (so you don’t forget to ask them) and call the midwife to ask them.
Pogo says
I have not had this but always call! My nurses, OB and midwife are so responsive and no question is too dumb. This would freak me out too, and it is always best to hear more details direct from the expert!
Govtattymom says
I would call but don’t panic! The doctor found a hole in my daughter’s heart during an ultrasound towards the end of my pregnancy. I was completely panicked about it, but the hole closed on its own shortly after she was born. My daughter is 3 now and is a very healthy and energetic kid!
Anonymous says
My baby has a prolonged deceleration (so terrifying!) and multiple follow ups that were fine. He is a healthy almost 2 year old. We insisted on a million phone calls and in-person appointments to learn more, ask questions, and did extra monitoring. I am glad we did all of it. Advocate for what you want.
BikerCurious says
Not specifically a mom question, but I can’t get the main site to post it so here goes: DH bought a motorcycle and I’m on the hunt for motorcycle boots to ride with him. My budget is around $200. Are Harley boots worth it? Should I just be basic and buy Frye Veronicas? I’m sort of lost, so any suggestions are welcome. I’m petite and not normally a moto style gal.
Anonanonanon says
My husband is a rider (I refuse to get on it) but he just wears Frye boots on it. My understanding is if you’re just on the back with him any boots should really do.
Anonymous says
I don’t know anything about actual biker style, but I would take any excuse to buy a pair of Fryes.
Motorbiker says
My husband has a motorcycle – I bought the Harley boots and LOVE them!!!!
OP says
Thanks! Can I ask you which ones you got? He actually got me a mini-bike so I’ll be driving that around town at some point – not on road trips or anything but still. Any excuse to buy boots :)
Anonymous says
Thanks everyone for your suggestions for our moving road trip yesterday!
Anonymous says
I am fed up with mindfulness at work. I am all for it as a personal practice, but telling your employees that they are responsible for reducing their own stress by being mindful while continuing to treat them like garbage is not good management. How about not threatening our lives by requiring us to show up to the office just because a bunch of old white lawyers can’t believe that people are working if they can’t see them? How about acknowledging how amazingly productive we’ve all been while WFH instead of accusing us of not working? That would really reduce our stress.
Cb says
Ugh, my uni keeps sending ‘mental health’ resources but not actually reducing workload, even though loads of people have caring responsibilities. It’s so condescending.
Anonymous says
I don’t even have time to read the list of resources. I appreciate that they’re trying, but life is hard right now. Nothing will help but less work time. And I don’t see that happening.
Lana Del Raygun says
Ugh, yes. Our EAP ran a campaign encouraging us to learn more about covid transition “instead of choosing to stress,” and now the new campaign is for managers to take vacation.
Lana Del Raygun says
*transmission
Cb says
I need some entertainment today….what are your least favourite children’s books?
I hate Richard Scarry, they are so long! And so busy! And of course my son loves them.
And Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site, it’s a lovely book with lovely illustrations but I don’t know why are all men. I should go through with a Sharpie and give it a feminist edit.
Anon says
I don’t have a least favorite, but my husband’s least favorite is “The Little Engine that Could” because “those other trains are such a**holes!”
Anonymous says
That books always makes me tear up.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, I can’t stand books where every character is unnecessarily male. Once you start looking for this you can’t unsee it. Little Blue Truck — no female characters. Giraffes Can’t Dance — no female characters.
I actually mind LESS if the story is about a little human boy — fine, it’s a boy, go for it! But when it’s about, like, fifteen animals or trucks or whatever, then why on EARTH not make half of them female? Julia Donaldson’s books do a nice job of this.
And yes, I can and do change the pronouns when I read but I would really like to live in a world where that is not necessary.
Pogo says
Truck Town has female trucks!
Anon says
Wait, are all the Little Blue Truck characters male? How do you know (there aren’t a lot of pronouns in the ones we have!)
Marshmallow says
I just had a glass shattering moment with Giraffes Can’t Dance. Are they really all male or just non-gendered animals? Gah!
GCA says
I’m fairly certain there is a male-female lion couple and a chimp couple cha-chaing? Also if most of the other creatures are male that’s a great example of gender-neutral pairs dancing! But it certainly fails the Bechdel test.
Anonymous says
Or unnecessarily white – like a group of kids and all of them are white. And blond!
rosie says
I didn’t like in Little Blue Truck how the mean truck (cannot remember all the details) is called “fat” in a degrading/insulting way. Didn’t keep it around long enough to notice the all-boy aspect apparently.
Anon says
The chicken is female. And the cow. I don’t have my copy handy right now to check further!
Pogo says
+1 to Richard Scarry. HATE IT. The other one that drives me nuts is “Oh my baby bear!” where the moral of the story is that once baby bear is more independent he gets to eat pie and stay up late??
We definitely hide Richard Scarry from time to time. I honestly don’t know how some of these books ever got into my house.
Cb says
Yes, they are so long and it requires negotiation to convince him that 1 Richard Scarry book is not 1 out of his 4 book bedtime quota. I need to hide them but he’s so canny.
Katy says
Hahaha! Our LO LOVES Richard Scary. BUT I miraculously have trained him that you only get 4 pages if it is bedtime = 1 book. Amazing for planes / waiting rooms etc. though. This is one of my proudest parenting accomplishments
rosie says
Have y’all read the Richard Scarry manners book that has a whole section on “pests” who don’t behave well? It is definitely not the behavior standards I want to impart to my kids.
Quail says
+1 I made half the trucks in Goodnight Goodnight Constructions site have female pronouns when I read it. It was definitely my son’s favorite book for awhile. The sequel (Mighty Mighty Construction Site) introduces female trucks (progress!)
Scarry’s Day at the Airport…also a favorite but makes me irrationally annoyed. A bratwurst balloon pops on your house, with your children in the basket, and all you have to say is “good landing!”??!?!? Seriously Father Cat, you must have been hitting the catnip pretty hard to be so zen.
There was a Thomas the Train book that involved finding things on the page that my son LOVED. It fell apart we read it so much. I didn’t mind it much but my husband hated that book and so hid it. Son would find it and the cycle would start all over again.
Cb says
Oh my goodness, yes, why was the balloon flying that low?? Why is Grandma Cat bringing apples with her when they clearly have locally produced apples? Think of the carbon footprint.
I did get my son to make it up the big hill without me pulling him by telling him to pretend to be Sergeant Murphy on his motorbike.
Anonymous says
I do the same thing for GGCS and the Christmas sequel. Thankfully Good Morning Construction Site has female characters.
Anon says
All of the really unnecessarily long Thomas books. They are so dull. And so long. And we had to read the one where Diesel 10 falls off the (aquaduct? or something?) every night for like 6 months once.
Also agreed the Richard Scarry ones. They are just kind of hard to read to a kid, they are so all over the place? Luckily my kids were never super into them even though we had some.
Also, I don’t hate it. But does anyone else think Goodnight Moon is so random? Like, if I was in the business of predicting what book was going to be a decades long hit, I would not have predicted that one.
Cb says
I’m realising that I hate Thomas in general, as my son is super into Thomas and Friends episodes. He’s so smug and the Fat Controller is just an example of male mediocrity. I love Tititpo though, there’s something really cute about their faces.
Pogo says
And also their personalities are so one-sided. Like Gordon is the kind of mean haughty one, right? LO is always having Gordon be mean to the other trains, and then he’ll punish Gordon by sending him off by himself. I’m like, why do we need to be teaching this to preschoolers??
GCA says
And I have so many questions about the weirdly authoritarian society of the Island of Sodor and the trains falling all over themselves to please the Fat Controller.
Cb, Mighty Mighty Construction Site has female trucks, no Sharpie needed! For the other books, I just read half as female and half as male (the jig is up soon though, my son is learning to read).
CPA Lady says
Cat in the Hat. I hated it as a child, hate it even more as an adult. The cat and thing one and thing two are completely out of control chaotic menaces. And its like a million pages long.
Cb says
So long! And it makes me stressed as well. It’s like my worst nightmare.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
OH MY GOSH YES. I hate this book.
avocado says
Same! I find the color scheme annoying, too.
Pogo says
oh yes! I forgot how much I hate this one. Altho I envy the mom for just peacing out for the day and leaving them to their own devices. Different times.
Anonymous says
Unpopular opinion (I think), but I feel this way about nearly all Dr. Seuss. Those books drive me nuts.
Emily S. says
Same. I grit my teeth on Seuss Day at school but I will not read them at home.
Anonymous says
I like some Dr. Seuss quite a bit: The Sneetches & Other Stories, Horton stories, If I Ran the Zoo (but it’s long) and most of all the ABC book. But 100% agree that Cat in the Hat is obnoxious.
I have an abridged board book version of Fox in Socks, which is actually kind of great. If you have not seen the youtube video of the guy rapping Fox in Socks over Dr. Dre, it’s worth checking out!
Anonymous says
Apparently it is also based on racist minstrel/blackface tropes. I just learned this yesterday, but below is a link to some research about this. In summary, he was super racist. I never liked a lot of his books, although also never noticed this as a kid, but am delighted to have a reason to write him off for good.
https://sophia.stkate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1050&context=rdyl
https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/its-time-to-talk-about-dr-seuss
AwayEmily says
I also seriously dislike every book in the “If you give a mouse a cookie” series. They make NO SENSE. Most of the “if you…then he’ll” connections are logically incoherent.
Anonymous says
+1
Spirograph says
+1 I don’t mind the original If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, but all the rest of them are ridiculous.
Anonymous says
I agreed…until we started watching the show on Amazon, and then they all grew on me. It is one instance where the show is way better than the book. And If you Give a Mouse a Cookie was one of the first books my child memorized and started “reading” to us. So now it holds a really special place in my heart.
anon says
I will admit to loving the Amazon show. The theme song gets stuck in my head though (did you know it’s sung by Lisa Loeb? Throwback to jr high!)
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
I always edit books like that – or at least I used to. Now my kids can read and it’s harder! I despise Curious George because he always creates a huge mess and then is forgiven for some random little thing. I guess it’s my INTJ talking. Kids seem to like them though. I HAAATE Pinkalicious. I’m sure there are more that I can’t remember.
On the positive side, I now love Frog & Toad, as do my kids. I remember disliking those books as a kid. And my 8 year old has taken to reading Boxcar Children on her own before bed. I am very happy about this.
EP-er says
My 8 year old is making her way through Boxcar Children, too! We have the first 8 and she is on #6. They certainly encourage independence….
Anonanonanon says
I loved boxcar children as a kid and my son refuses to read them and I keep wanting to be like “YOU’RE WRONG THEY ARE VERY GOOD”
Anonymous says
Oooh I loved Boxcar Children as a kid, too, thanks for the reminder! I might try to introduce them to my son; he’s very into forts and independence, and he needs something to get him excited about reading.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
I tried all of my childhood favorites and Boxcar Children was the one that finally stuck!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I like some Mo Willems books but for some I feel like I’m missing the in-joke or it’s just trying to be too funny unnecessarily (looking at you, Goldilocks and the 3 dinosaurs). My toddler is loving the Piggie and Elephant books now though.
Also, to the Cat in the Hat poster – I know a lot of people (including my husband) are annoyed by a lot of the rhyming Seuss books but I love them! The more tongue twisty rhymes, the better. Agree that they are long (although we have one Frozen book that takes at least 20 minutes to get through!)
Anonymous says
What? Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs is one of my faves. I think I love it more than the kids!
AwayEmily says
Totally agreed about Mo Willems. Knuffle Bunny is great but the other ones are kind of wink-wink, here’s a special joke for adults. I find stuff like that kind of irritating. If you’re writing a book for kids, write a book for kids.
anon. says
I’m going to get disagreement on this, but I *hate* the Trailblazing Women series of books. My three year old loves the Jane Goodall, Rosa Parks, and Amelia Earhart ones. Obviously I love that he’s interested, but they are so long. And it’s so painful. :)
Anon says
The Giving Tree. Hate that book with a burning passion. Hated it as a child, hate it as an adult. The fact that we think mothers or women “should” be like that is nauseating.
Anonymous says
Also hate this one! I have it, with “love you forever,” which I find too creepy to outweigh how it does make me cry at the end, in a to-donate pile.
Anonymous says
Love You Forever is the worst! So creepy and we have like 10 copies of it.
Lana Del Raygun says
Big Norman Bates energy for sure. It’s weird because Munsch also wrote Where’s Gah-Ning? which is so, so good.
Anonymous says
But omg, do you know the back story? trigger warning: stillbirth
Anon says
+2
Love you forever didn’t make me sad in a good way, I found it too depressing. Gave away!
SC says
I hate The Giving Tree! My kid thinks Shel Silverstein’s face on the back inside cover is scary, so he refuses to read it, and I’m OK with that.
Anonymous says
There was a long form article about The Giving Tree not too long ago and how it’s a terrible way to describe giving. After this article and reading the book again, I agree. It’s a book about being selfish.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/we-need-to-talk-about-the-giving-tree.amp.html
lydia says
Kate Manne also talks about this in her book on misogyny, “Down Girl. ” It’s an academic book, but her takedown, which is entitled “The Giving She,” is really readable (and great on gender issues).
Knope says
Wow, interesting, I have never read The Giving Tree to be a book about giving! I always read it less as a children’s book and more of a thought-provoking book about people’s misguided priorities in life after childhood, and the value in less material things (clearly the boy is happiest when just playing in the tree, and when he is old, all he needs is a place to rest). I’ve never heard of it being held up as a model for how giving should work (which would be messed up, I agree!).
Eek says
The storyline I can’t handle is Rainbow Fish. Why does the fish give away all his shining scales? They are part of his body, and if those other fish were true friends they wouldn’t gang up on him and refuse to play with him unless he gives them his scales.
AwayEmily says
Also Pout-Pout fish! First, if he wants to be sad, let him be sad! Second, don’t randomly kiss someone without asking! Between Rainbow Fish and Pout-Pout fish, there are some really questionable norms down under the sea.
SC says
I love Mister Seahorse and approve of its under the sea norms!
AnonLawyer says
I know, the consent messages in that book are so questionable.
rosie says
Yes, wtf with the kissing.
Anonymous says
I think the Pout Pout Fish is SO cute rhyme-wise (I have no rhythm, so the apparent meter inconsistency has never bothered me), but also dislike the random kiss. It reminds me of how much I appreciate the scene in Frozen where Kristoff asks Anna permission to kiss her. So impressive for Disney!
Anon says
agreed! i hate the message in this book. it doesnt make sense to me. why should you have to give people stuff for them to be your friend. fortunately, my kids almost never pick that one from the shelf
Anonymous says
I don’t think the other fish dislike him because he is beautiful…they dislike him because he was so mean to the little (blue?) fish who asked for one. Not necessarily because he said no, but because of the a-hole way that he said no and made little fish feel awful.
Redux says
Dragons Love Tacos is a terrible book. Come at me!
octagon says
So terrible. The only redeeming part is the use of the word “pantload” which kiddo now says in hilariously inappropriate ways. The sequel is even worse.
I really hate all the Click Clack Moo books. They are just not funny at all. My in-laws keep sending them despite our subtle hints.
Anonymous says
My mother in law gave us the “Mr” books, if anyone has heard of those- they’re older, I think they are british. They are AWFUL. It’s like the stories were written by 6 year olds, for 6 year olds. Naturally my 4 year old loves them.
Anonymous says
Any books with a strong rhythm and meter but where the meter is not perfect. It drives me nuts. Pout Pout Fish is one of these. There is a clear intent at a specific rhythmic pattern and meter and then there are a few lines that don’t quite make it. Huge pet peeve!
anon says
Totally agree that the Cat in the Hat is super annoying. I also can’t stand Fox in Socks.
LO loves Cars and Trucks and Things that go, but we have a deal that I only read 4 pages at a time.
Spirograph says
– Curious George. Guess what? things don’t always turn out well when you cause trouble! Sometimes you just make a mess and no one pats you on the back for it afterward.
– Bernstein Bears. Yikes, outdated gender stereotypes! Also, they are preachy AF.
I read Goodnight Construction Site with half female trucks. My 7 year old figured out that I changed it and commented once, but he’s not making A Thing out of it, so half those trucks are still girls. :)
AnonLawyer says
My mom got the baby this book “Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes.” It’s ostensibly about baby diversity and babies born in different places, and yet the refrain is something like “Each of those babies, as everyone knows, has ten little fingers and ten little toes.” And I can’t think anything but “come on, birth defects affecting that are so common!”
Anon says
Ha same!
DLC says
I agree! I love this book because being Asian, it was one of the few books that we could find that featured Asian kids and we read it all the time But yeah, I often think- what about the kids born without fingers or toes?
Anonymous says
Reposting this as my reply above is in mod – The Cat in the Hat is not only annoying but racist, so you have multiple excuses to jettison it from your library. Google Dr. Seuss racist; there was an in-depth study about his work published last year.
oooh this is fun says
There’s a rhyme in Is Your Mama a Llama that doesn’t work and it drives me nuts (I think it’s Rhonda and responded?)
This is How We Do it: One day in the life of seven kids around the world – i think that’s the name? great that it’s teaching about diversity but takes fooorever and i got really tired of it fast! Also all the kids have one dad and one mom, wish they’d switched that up.
Cat in the Hat used to drive me nuts, but now I’ve read it enough I sort of have fun with it? It IS long though!
There are definitely more!
Lana Del Raygun says
Sandra Boynton is mediocre. There, I said it.
I HATE:
– The Little Engine That Could (sometimes you can’t do things! it’s not your fault! get lost, Protestant Work Ethic! get lost, Spirit of Capitalism!)
– Green Eggs And Ham (this book is r@pe culture and I will not back down on this)
– Just Like My Brother (this is from Dolly Parton; the illustrations are twee; it’s creepy how all the animals just hide and watch the leopard stalk the little giraffe; it’s incoherent how the leopard turns out to be … harmless? vulnerable to being shamed out of predation? what?)
– Fox In Socks (it honestly makes me feel like I’m being berated by some ten-year-old boy who thinks he’s King Sh** of F*** Mountain because he’s good at tongue twisters)
– The Giving Tree (no comment needed)
SC says
I like Fox in Socks because at the end, the knox pushes the fox into the bottle and walks away. The knox could do the tongue twister the whole time but was just waiting for his moment to shut the fox up.
JM says
The Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site series has a book about a girl truck. I bought it for my daughter because she loves trucks and I was getting annoyed that all the trucks in her books were male. It’s called “Three Cheers for Kid McGear!”
Thank you gift - emergency daycare? says
We were so lucky to have our son in a state-sponsored emergency care so husband and I (both essential) could work. He will be leaving their care and going back to his regular provider, but I wanted to do something to show my deep and sincere appreciation for their work during this time (and following all the crazy strict guidelines, and being so good about it for everyone’s safety).
I was thinking a card and either a gift card to Dunkin Donuts or bringing them donuts/iced coffee? If I do gift card is giving one card with a larger amount OK so that they can split? I’m not exactly sure how many people help out with his classroom, as part of the COVID procedures involve me phoning the office to drop him off/pick him up and so I don’t think I’ve met his actual teachers, just the director and her assistant (who I’m also forever indebted to!!). I think what I’ve seen on here before is that gift card is generally preferred over an actual gift?
AwayEmily says
I would definitely go with cash. Ask the director how many teachers he has, and write each of them a separate card with cash inside. Or, if you feel uncomfortable with cash, then a gift card to Target or Amazon.
This is a very nice thing to do.
Anon says
Very nice thought to do!
I would not do gift card to Dunkin’. I mean, I love it, but that is so specific there might be a lot of reasons the providers don’t frequent there. Bringing them donuts/coffee would be nice (is there a way they can enjoy them though without all of the kids being like, DONUTS!!!!).
I would not think one gift card could easily be split between a group. A sum of cash can.
I agree with the other poster, Amazon or Target if you choose gift card. But yes, then you will have to figure out how many you need & who do they go to. The director/assistant should be able to help you out.
But ideally cash.
Anonymous says
+1 to everyone saying cash over food. Especially now, I know some daycares are limiting use of teachers rooms, cafeterias, or wherever they might keep something like that for teachers to share to avoid cross-contamination. In this case, money isn’t inappropriate – just go for it.
Small Amazon or Target gift cards might also be appropriate for each provider if you feel like there are too many providers to give each a reasonable amount of cash.
Ashley says
I would do gift cards! Can you call the office to find out how many work with your son? “Hi Director, I’ve been so grateful for the care son has received! Can you let me know how many teachers work with him on a daily basis and their names? I’d love to send son with small gifts for each to show our appreciation.”
OP says
Thanks – think I just needed to get over the awkwardness of doing this part, as it does make the most sense! I am just so grateful to them, my son has had zero issues even with everybody in masks and wearing gloves a lot of the time, the constant handwashing – he’s been a total champ and loves his “new school”. It is really weird not to be able to go into his classroom and meet everyone, but I totally get why they are doing it, and the director should definitely be able to tell me who watches him and their names.
Anon says
I think facilitating the gift discussion and how to do it appropriately is probably more common than you realize. It should not be awkward hopefully.
in-class party invites says
A couple of the other 3 year olds have handed out invitations for their in-class birthday party. I was confused because why do you have to invite the classmates when it’s in the classroom, during the day? Were these invites requests for gifts, or just to let the parents know about an impending sugar-bomb? there was no RSVP on the invite. Am I missing something, do I need to send invites for my DH’s “party”? We’ve never celebrated at her school before, but i’m going to bring mini cupcakes and read a book to the class, then let her go home early. Is this invite thing common?
Anon says
maybe this is bc the kids arent having out of school parties due to Covid? i’m shocked they are letting you into DD’s class to read a book. I thought as part of covid measures parents aren’t allowed in the class?
OP says
no these were all pre-covid. That’s a good point about the reading the book though, I’m totally fine to drop off cupcakes for snack and pick her up early. We still drop off and pick up in class, but I try not to linger, and keep distance from other adults. A few parents wear masks for drop-off and pick-up, but most are just making sure to use hand sanitizer when coming/going.
Anon says
where do you live that masks are not required for parents entering/exiting and that parents are currently allowed in classrooms?
OP says
Kansas
Anonymous says
I have never seen invitations for an in-class party. Maybe one parent did invitations for some odd reason and then the other parents thought it was an actual thing and followed suit.
OP says
I think that’s what happened here, I was about to order some on Etsy too!. At daycare we’re all generally “new” parents, so we just follow along with what everyone else does. The only reason I’m sending cupcakes is because all the other kids’ parents did something, I decided against party favors because I don’t want to set a precedent.
Anonymom says
Anyone on here applying to private school for next year? In NYC and hearing that the “interviews” and/or “playdates” are very likely going to be done remotely/via Zoom. I feel like this is going to make the process even more of a roulette wheel than usual.
NYCer says
I assumed that would be the case. I have heard some schools are planning on skipping the “playdate” which also makes sense to me. Zoom interviews for parents seems like a fine solution.
SC says
Not in NYC, but we are in the process of applying to private schools for my son. He has special needs and behavioral issues in the classroom. We’re having a really hard time finding a place for him. Some schools aren’t responding to calls or inquiries at all. We’ve done zoom interviews with my son instead of a typical play date or visit, and they’ve gone very poorly. He has a hard time connecting via zoom, though he connects with adults well in person. Several schools have rejected him because they’re unsure about how Covid will affect things–whether closures for Covid will make it hard to establish a routine, whether they’ll be able to have a behavioral assistant in the classroom and still comply with any (as yet unannounced) limitations on numbers, etc.
Public kindergarten is an option, but I’m concerned about it. The special education office isn’t answering the phone, and I hear from someone who works for the district that they have one person doing evaluations by zoom this summer. We also red-shirted Kiddo, so he hasn’t had pre-K, but he’d have to enter public kindergarten in our school district. Academically, he’d be fine, but he struggles with basic classroom rules and social interactions.
We could home school him, but then we’d be avoiding the thing he actually needs, which is classroom structure and peer interaction.
Anonymom says
That is way tougher than my spot. I’m sorry. My fervent hope is that in 2021 we at least have an effective treatment and schools will find ways to educate every child effectively.
Anonymous says
It’s so hard! I have a completely neurotypical very socially adjusted just-turned-4-y/o. If anything, she’s probably the smartest of all my kids. She cannot and will not zoom. She and a few other kids in her preschool class NOPE’d the day out of every single preschool zoom. She only wants “real people.” I don’t blame her for a second.
DH back to school says
DH and I currently both work full time and we have a toddler. I’m a senior associate in Biglaw and (mostly) love my job, he has a different white collar job that pays in the high five figures that he truly hates. He’s been thinking for a while of going back to grad school to change careers for something he’s always wanted to do and would be a much better fit for him. Now with COVID-related childcare challenges and his job becoming even more insufferable with working remote, we are thinking now might be the time for him to quit his job and enroll in school in the fall.
The big question here that I am hoping others may have gone through is, what balance of online classes + SAHD duties is reasonable? I have no expectation that he could carry a full course load and also take care of a toddler full time. I’m imagining we’d either do part-time babysitter or day care if he takes a full course load, or he’d only take a part-time course load while maybe having a morning or two per week of babysitter care to get a break or cover times when he needs to be “live” online with his class.
Another wrinkle is that I am “the clean one” and my DH is… not. He tries, but it’s very stereotypical in that he mostly just “helps” with things when I ask him. Since we’ve both been WFH for the past couple of months, it’s been a real struggle. After some heart to hearts and fights about this, he’s improved a lot. I don’t know if this would get better if he weren’t always in a funk about how much he hates his job and was the primary person for home responsibilities, or if it will get worse with him being responsible for our kid all day. Obviously we need to have very clear expectations about this before we try it.
Any other tips/thoughts for transitioning to your partner dropping down to part time work or becoming a student, and taking on more child care and home responsibilities? I’m purposely leaving the finances out of this because we’re going to talk to our financial advisor about the nuts and bolts.
SC says
Depending on the grad program, I think it would be very hard to be a student, take care of a child, and handle household responsibilities.
Although you left the finances out of it, let’s assume that grad school is a large investment, both financially and opportunity cost. If the goal if for him to use this program to launch a new career, he needs the space to be able to study and network. You can often find rough guides of how many hours per week you should expect to study/prepare for class vs number of class hours.
I would say he should decide on part-time vs full-time based on how much he’ll get out of each program, and how quickly he wants to return to work. If he’s part-time, the remaining hours can be devoted to childcare.
As for household duties, he’s never going to be the “clean” one. Of course, you can keep having conversations about picking up after himself, because any adult should do that. He may be better at taking on discrete responsibilities–cooking, laundry, etc., and not being the person who’ll spend 10 minutes picking up the living room. Cleanliness will probably get worse with him being home with your kid during the day. (My husband is a great SAHD, a great cook, and not the clean one. Since Covid started, and Kiddo has been home, my house looks like a tornado went through all the time.)
Anonymous says
No, it is not possible to be a SAH parent and a grad student at the same time. Being a grad student while parenting young children is incredibly difficult even with full-time day care and no pandemic. In the current environment, you would be setting yourselves up for constant stress, and he’d be disappointed with the experience and probably with his performance. This would only be workable if the kids were out of the house in full-time day care and you took over most or all of the parenting and household duties and/or hired out all the household duties.
We had our daughter when I was in law school. I was the default parent, but she went to day care full time. I had a handful of designated household chores, mostly grocery shopping, but my husband did all of the cooking and cleaning. It was still terribly hard.
Anonymous says
Think about it for a second. Could you really have been a SAHM during law school? Could you have survived law school with part-time child care just during class hours?
DH back to school says
Maybe (I had a 20 hour per week job throughout most of law school, so theoretically could have been momming during that time if kiddo had already been born). But law school is way more intense than most other grad programs, though, including the one my husband would be joining. He’d be getting a masters in the humanities to take on an interesting but not super demanding, public service job. I have many, many friends who have gotten similar degrees in the evenings after their full-time jobs and/or while also parenting kids.
I definitely do not think he could be a full time student and full time SAHD, that’s totally unreasonable and I recognize we’re going to need some amount of child care so he can have times to focus. I’m just trying to figure out what balance of this has worked for others.
Anon says
After doing both law school and a PhD program in the hard sciences, I think if the grad program is lighter than law school (especially after the first year) a reasonably efficient adult could manage with childcare for a 3+ year old during traditional school/day hours (i.e. 9-5). Basically, enough to cover class time and 2-3 hours a day. The tricky part becomes class schedules and networking events in the evening.
I have never had as much free time in my life as I did when in was in law school…but I think that’s because I went as an adult (over 30) who had gone through more rigorous academic programs, so I had routines etc figured out. If I had got straight out of undergrad, and not joined big law, my perception would have been completely different.
Anonymous says
If he goes to grad school, you will need to take on more of the parenting and household duties, not less.
Anonanonanon says
How disciplined is he/how easily does he shift gears? Is he the type of person that could do schoolwork after the kids are in bed, for example, or is he going to need more structured time? Also, are you sure there is a substantial number of hours of live instruction in the online program, or is it more assignment-based? I, personally, would be much more successful with blocked off times to watch lessons and immediately do work after, so say a half a day three times a week etc. where I can be totally locked away (for a part-time courseload). If you’re comfortable with it, something like a church-based preschool from 9-12 three days a week would be a lot cheaper than daycare, and he’d presumably have the flexibility to do drop-off and pickup. If he’s going to quit his job, I’d personally expect my spouse to do school full-time in that scenario.
Housework-wise, maybe the solution is to hire someone? If you’re not comfortable with that due to COVID or finances, can you find some creative solutions to reduce housework, like get a roomba for vacuuming, switch to paper plates for a while, have more takeout and frozen meals (frozen lasagna, garlic bread, and a bagged salad, for example), send laundry out (our area has an uber-like service where you leave it on your porch and a gig worker picks it up, washes it, and drops it off and it’s pretty cheap), etc. It seems like this has the potential to be a source for a lot of resentment to build up and boil over on both sides, and that it’s best to try to avoid it if at all possible. Maybe a high-school-aged mother’s helper type position in addition to cheap preschool could work? Someone to unload the dishwasher, make some chicken nuggets for the kids, clean up after the kids eat, etc. while your husband gets some schoolwork done?
DH back to school says
These are the issues I’m trying to think through. DH is pretty disciplined when he has a deadline, so I think setting up a specific schedule would benefit him. I frequently work all night after baby bedtime and he vegges out on the couch, so I’m imagining he could convert that window into schoolwork time and we could just both do work together. (Of course this would not cover his entire work load, but it’s a window we could use.). I’m not sure how much face time his program would require— he’s actually attending a virtual info session tonight so we should have a better idea soon. There is a partially in-person option as well, but even that is only one weekend per month or something similar. So it may be more assignment-based rather than live online, anyway.
Mother’s helper is a good idea and would get at a lot of the cleanliness and household tasks that bother me when they aren’t done. We used to have a cleaning service but stopped because of COVID, so as our comfort level with helpers improves, we could also restart that. My preference is to outsource more of the household drudgery and preserve our own household energy for child care/ quality time.
CHL says
I think it depends a lot on the grad program. Like I did my masters in Ed Policy at night (I was younger and slept less) and it was in no way like what a full time law or MBA program would have been in terms of time commitment. Does he know others who have done the program?
Anonanonanon says
I think a lot of people are applying law school experience to this one, which I think is a lot more extreme than other grad school experiences. I’ve known multiple people who went to grad school with small children and full-time jobs and made it work in their families. A few of them were even in-person nighttime programs. I said this above, but I would not support my spouse quitting their job to go to school part-time. If he goes to school full-time, I think you need the same childcare and household help you would have if he was working full-time.
GCA says
My DH just finished a five-year STEM PhD program while I worked full time, and we had our two kids during that period. We had daycare but no other childcare, he treated the PhD like a full time job, and I felt the household labor was pretty much evenly split.
With limited external childcare in a covid era…I’d say it depends on the grad program. If it’s heavily research-focused, expect all his time including weekends and evenings to be eaten by that research. If it’s mainly coursework (classes and some amount of project work), it may be more doable. If it’s something like a part-time MBA with dedicated evening classes, specifically designed for people who are also working, it could be even more doable.
The home responsibilities thing – that’s a problem that would exist with or without your DH’s grad program. A useful resource is the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, which outlines the difference between just taking on the physical task and taking responsibility for the whole of it including executive function (planning, shopping, preparation).
Anonymous says
My uncle did it with one little kid. They did half-time daycare (mornings only). He didn’t have as much school work on Fridays and would do housework.
As a note, my husband went to law school at night while working full-time and graduated with honors. And my non-law masters was not full time work. I worked at a job for 20-40 hours per week during the whole thing. You don’t have to treat it like a FT job. But it also shouldn’t be treated like nothing.
dlc says
I don’t have input on balancing being a homemaker and grad school, but as the COVID unemployed messier spouse, I will say it is really important to let your spouse know what your trigger points are. Like my husband hates it when the kitchen counter in front of the coffee pot is messy and when he trips over shoes in the foyer. So in my 4pm pre dinner house tidy session, I make sure this gets done, and maybe the other messes that we make through the day don’t get picked up as frequently as a result. I had a moment when he would get agitated about the mess of the house and I had to say, “I don’t see the mess that you do. I also don’t have the time to clean constantly while watching 3 kids. You need to just tell me what are the areas that bother you the most and I will prioritize that.”
On the other hand, if you are more worried about the mess, then maybe you should hire a daily housecleaner to come in the afternoon rather than childcare? Or someone who will do both? Think about if are you hiring childcare so he can go to school or so that he can clean the house?
DLC
Toddler Back to Daycare says
We should be able to send my toddler back to daycare in the next couple weeks. It’s the best solution for our family, but I’m getting worried about her transition. She’s almost 16 months, still in the separation anxiety phase, and hasn’t been around anyone besides DH and I in 3 months. (Except for a few medical appointments, which did not go well from a crying standpoint! I think the strangers in masks made things worse?) I imagine at this point she’s forgotten all about her daycare room and teachers? And as far as I can tell all adults at daycare will be wearing masks. Please moms whose 15-16 month old kids have started daycare or gone back after a long break, tell me my kid will adjust ok?
KatieWolf says
My 17 month old went back June 1. I was very concerned about the transition as well, and we were switching daycares! So the teachers and environment was completely new to her. She had some mild separation anxiety when we transitioned from infant to toddler room so I was concerned this switch would be hard. It has not been at all! She didn’t nap the first day (I think she was too excited) and every day since then her teachers have gone out of their way to tell me how amazingly she has been doing. So maybe it will work out better than you expected! I’m so happy with our experience thus far. For reference, my child was only with myself, husband, or grandmother for 12 weeks before going back. We also had a medical appointment during that time and same as yours, she FREAKED about the masks. So I wouldn’t give that too much credence as to how your child will do with returning to daycare.
Anon says
I’m a wimp and ended up getting a nanny for the rest of the summer for my 10 month old.But FWIW, I have heard kids are adjusting fine. Mine was still very upset at being left with the nanny instead of seeing Dad all day so it sounds like a situation where there is no winning, no matter what you choose.
Anonymous says
My 20 month old went back and had a very easy transition. He remembered his teachers. I think it will be okay. I did cry when he went back. It’s hard to transition. But much better for all of us.
Anonymous says
Any tips for job interviews via videoconference? I just had one yesterday and it felt awkward and hard to connect– like I didn’t get a vibe-check like I normally would. Fortunately, I got a second round, but wondering what I can do next time– or is this just inherent to the process?
(Fortunately, I know someone who works there, so I can get an honest opinion on the workplace/ culture, which would otherwise make me very nervous)
Anonanonanon says
I don’t videochat a lot in general, and we haven’t been doing video meetings for work, so I would feel super uncomfortable! In your shoes, I would ask friends and family to videochat with me as much as possible between now and the second interview so I could get more comfortable with having a natural-feeling conversation while staring into a computer.
anonn says
I’ve had to interview maybe 6-7 people during this. It’s hard to connect when the internet is bad on either side, but not much you can do about that if its on their end. Normally the only “safe” small talk conversation items are the weather and maybe sports, but now you can talk about the Pandemic. So use that? ask what the WFH or return to work is looking like, how was it adapting to that, if they think it will change anything going forward.
Anonymous says
FWIW, for anyone in NYC – my husband the high school teacher said the latest rumor about what school will look like in the fall is staggered schedules for younger kids spread out over all school facilities, and remote instruction for high school students. I think he meant that they will be using high school classrooms for instructing younger kids–in addition to elementary and middle schools–so classrooms are less crowded and there is room for social distancing. Take this with a huge grain of salt; obviously anything is possible at this stage.
Anonymous says
I’m not in NYC but this is interesting to hear. I’m having trouble right now because our local school district has provided zero guidance about fall and it’s hard for me not to ruminate on it. (Anyone with tips to avoid ruminating on things I can’t control!?)
Anonymous says
Anyone have any awesome graduation gift ideas for this year? I’m normally more on top of it, but since there weren’t any in person parties, I haven’t yet. This year, I needs gifts for high school girls. $30-50, not jewelry.
I usually get zippered pouches or tote bags with cool designs/ messages from Etsy or Society 6 based on their interests, but not sure why I’m not feeling it this year.
Anonymous says
This might be too close to jewelry, but in that price range, I have given Coach Outlet lanyards (the regular Coach ones appear to be $65 now, but are in adorable shades of pink). I’ve also put a gift card in them from time to time. Lanyards were big when I was in college for carrying keys and your student ID. Not sure how much it is still a thing.
Lana Del Raygun says
It’s still a thing, at least at my brother’s college.
anne-on says
Are they going to college and living in dorms? My parents gave all of my cousins going to school a small shower caddy with a roll of quarters (I’m an old), and cute bath stuff. I’d imagine you can do something similar pretty cheaply at Target’s college section.
Otherwise, a bathrobe for the trip to/from the showers would probably be cute!
Anonymommy says
Starter tool set! I made my first friends by helping them hang picture frames- I was the only one with a hammer and nails. Throw some duct tape, flashlight, jackknife, mini hot gun, lint roller, etc. in a milk crate. I still have mine (thanks Dad!).
Anonymommy says
*first college friends lolllll