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I originally saw this sweatshirt on influencer Grace Atwood of The Stripe. With all of the “fast fashion” and copycat styles, it is rare that you can tell when something like a sweatshirt looks luxurious, especially online. This sweatshirt looks restrained in its design, and looks as though thought went into the fit. I like how there’s no band at the bottom, and the back is slightly longer than the front. My other favorite detail is how the drawcord compliments and matches the color scheme. I love “varsity orange” for a color punch and “frost” for a sweatshirt I’d wear every day. If you splurge on one piece a season, I recommend this! The sweatshirt is $168 at ToryBurch.com. French Terry Chevron Hoodie
Tech Update: I THINK the glitches are fixed as of 10:58… please let me know if not. Thank you for your patience!
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Nanny Hourly Rate says
Very sorry to bring up a repeat topic, but searching is not yielding enough results to help with what I’m looking for.
What do you pay your full-time nanny? Does your rate change if you go on vs. under the table? We’d like to pay on the table and not sure if/how that factors in to setting the rate…having a nanny is new territory for us. We’re in the outer suburbs of a HCOL city with one toddler. Our nanny has some experience and has told us to ‘pay us what we’re comfortable paying’. Currently paying $18/hr under the table as a temporary, part-time pandemic babysitter but we want to bring her on full time. $20/hr feels low on an annualized 40 hours/week basis and $25/hr is definitely pushing the upper limits of our budget right now (hoping that will change once the economy gets a reboot at some point in the future – one of our jobs is very tied to the financial markets). We want to be fair, of course. TIA.
Anonymous says
Don’t currently have a full-time nanny but have had one in the past when money was tighter. My advice is to figure out how much the nanny is going to cost you all-in (including all the various taxes that you are responsible for and those that you can opt to cover for her) and then figure out an hour rate that is as high as you can afford while still leaving room in your budget for an annual raise. I have found that thinking of rates without considering the overhead costs is misleading for my finances.
To help calculate this play around with an online nanny tax calculator. I’ve used the free calculators on Homework Solutions and now pay for their tax filing services for my after-school nanny.
I”ve also found that nannies don’t care so much about their gross rate but rather want to know how much they will bring home in each paycheck. So we try to pay all the taxes we can legally cover for them and then tell the nanny this is what you will be bringing home each week. A few years ago when we had 2 young kids in the DC area we negotiated a starting rate of $17/hour NET for the nanny, which sounds low even for the time. But we paid for 50 hours per week (including 10 hours of overtime pay at 1.5 so $24) her paychecks were stable. If I recall correctly, the actual cost to us of the nanny was about 25% more than what we paid, which totaled more than my take-home salary at the time.
Anon says
can someone help me think of an analogy or point to an article to help me explain the concept of cumulative risk to my dad regarding Covid. i know it is something we’ve talked about on here a lot with people deciding to send their kids back to daycare, but then choosing not to do other things to mitigate risk, etc. My dad has decided that since he has to go to the dentist, which is considered a risky covid activity, minimizing risk in other areas don’t matter as much. His reasoning makes no sense to me, so i would like to try to explain this to him.
avocado says
https://www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/09/well/live/coronavirus-rules-pandemic-infection-prevention.html?action=click&block=associated_collection_recirc&impression_id=982527910&index=1&pgtype=Article®ion=footer
avocado says
Article links went to mod. Try
erinbromage dot com The Risks — Know Them — Avoid Them
NY Times 5 Rules to Live By During a Pandemic
avocado says
… and replies are not threading.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Anyone else having trouble viewing this site on a browser (I use chrome) but ok on mobile? Kat, would you be able to look into this?
Anon says
It’s working okay for me on Chrome on a laptop, but threading is completely broken.
Anon says
i am too!
Traditionally Jewish Names says
Honest and sincere question here that I feel like I can’t ask in real life: I’m expecting and struggling to come up with a name. Is there a consensus abut using a traditionally Jewish but fairly mainstream name (Asher, for example) for a non-Jewish child? — In other words, is it offensive/wrong/etc., or totally fine and I am overthinking this?
Anon says
As someone with Jewish kids (who have Old Testament names, so often Jewish but not strictly so) I think something on the level of Asher is fine. Something less mainstream (like Simcha) would be weirder.
(I also love the name Asher. It was our top boy name, but we only had girls.)
Allie says
I agree with this. I’d find a non-Jewish Orli, Devorah or Simcha to be odd, but a non-Jewish Asher or Talia to not be of note. I agree it goes in the reverse. There are not going to be any Jewish Noel, Virginia or Christians out there.
Anonymous says
I think it would be fine. It would be odd if you picked something very uncommon, maybe, but only because it’s an uncommon choice. But we have a very common last name of an ethnicity that we are not (it’s a long, but very logical story) so I am a bit less hung up about names matching origins.
Anon says
i am jewish and think few names used by non-jews would be offensive or wrong. as someone mentioned below, naming your non-jewish kid Moshe or Aharon or Hadassah or Simcha might be unusual, and i might presume they are jewish, but i do not think i would view it as offensive. on the flip side, i think it would be very strange for someone jewish to name their child Christian or Jesus, but i dont know why any person who really identifies as Jewish would do that
anon says
Am not Jewish, but am of another religious minority (and have a name that demonstrates that), so take of this what you will. I don’t think you’ll find much pushback, not will your kid, but here’s my take on why you might be pausing: if your kid and another kid in their class, etc., have that name, your kid will be the cooler (whiter) one – obviously not to anyone with a developed brain but kids are kids. The odds of this happening are probably low and it’s not your job to shield every minority kid from every micro-aggression, but I think you’re not overthinking this, either – just thinking the correct amount about a big decision. I chose to give my kid a name in the same religious tradition that me and my name belong to, despite knowing all the stats about jobs, etc. and I certainly do have my moments of wishing I’d not done so.
Ms B says
Asher made it into the top 50 baby names, so it is “mainstream mainstream” at this point and I would not give it another thought. Take a look at some of the “top name” lists; if it makes it into the top 100 or so (say, Jacob, Eli/Elijah, Levi, Micah), probably fine. That said, I would think twice about the less common names if you are not Jewish if you are going to be uncomfortable with people assuming that your child is Jewish, even if he is not.
anon. says
It’s funny. Maybe because I am Jewish, but Eli, Levi, and Micah read as VERY Jewish to me even in the Top 100. I’d be surprised meeting a non-Jewish Eli.
Ms B says
Eh, I can think of one Eli, two Elijahs, and one Elya (goes by Ely) in The Kid’s Midwest public grade school right off the top of my head, none of them Jewish. It may be a geographic thing.
Anon says
Levi and Eli read as very Jewish to me, too. Micah not so much (though Misha, definitely).
Anonymous says
In Firefox on my computer and in Safari on my iPhone, there is a lot of white space to scroll through before you get to the first blog entry.
Anon says
I load the home page and then have to scroll way to the bottom to see the very first post. So at first glance it looks like nothing is posting (a blank white page + banner) but then when you scroll it’s way, way down. I’m on Chrome. This has been happening since yesterday afternoon.
Anonymous says
For anyone who had one kid, and was on the fence about whether to have another one, what did you do with all of your baby stuff as your child outgrew it? Not necessarily clothes, since those are small, but bigger, (and potentially) more expensive things, like you bassinet and infant car seat? While I’m 80% sure we’re going to have only one kid, I don’t want to give away a $400 perfectly good infant car seat, but I also feel weird about keeping it since I’m pretty sure we’re one and done.
Anon says
My twins are 3 and we’re also pretty sure we’re not having another (and accidental pregnancies aren’t possible for us),so got rid of almost everything, except for what will be useful when my siblings kids come to visit (pnp, booster chair, etc). If we end up changing our mind down the road, our town has a very active kids stuff swap, so I know we’ll be able to get these things for free.
anon says
Tried replying, but it got eaten, sorry if this is a repost:
Sell or donate the carseat, due to expiration.
For other large items, consider setting up an informal swap group with other local moms – you may be able to pass off unneeded items and get them back in 3+ years if you choose to have another. (Bumbo, rock and play, baby baths were all passed around in my friend group).
SC says
I saved mine in my storage shed for a while. Most of them got pretty gross due to heat and humidity, and we threw them out when we moved. So… I’d suggest just selling things or giving them away now. If you have another, you can buy stuff gently used or get it through community swaps, etc.
Anonymous says
Hahahahah! I had 2 and we were done when we gave away all the big things. But then accidental pregnancy. :) But by then we had networks of people who had kept all their stuff and were very eager to give it away. So we ended up having more stuff for the 3rd kid than we did for the first 2 at way less expense. We were on the fence about a 3rd for a while so I actually kept a bunch of stuff in the garage for longer than I should have, in retrospect, because someone else could have been using it. Especially things with expiration dates like car seats…if you aren’t sure you will need it, I really feel like you should pass it along and trust that good karma will bring a replacement should you need it.
GCA says
It looks very strange on Chrome (laptop). I have to scroll all the way down to find posts. Replies are not threading.
Anonymous says
We stored the stuff until she was 2 and then started getting rid of things as she outgrew them. We would have had to rent a storage unit to keep all the stuff once we took down the crib. We decided we’d rather spend money replacing the things on the off chance that we decided to have another child than spend money to store them and then be stuck with a bunch of nasty old stuff that had been in storage for years. We passed along some of the nicer things to friends and family, sold a few of the big-ticket items and put the money in her college account, and donated the rest.
glitches here too says
Won’t load on my chrome desktop! Had to do gymnastics to get here.
Anonymous says
We are moving states, and driving with our kids – it will be about an 11-12 hour drive before stops. It’s going to be a disaster, I know. Kids will be 4 months and 2.5 years. What suggestions do you have, especially for the 2.5 year old? We’ll stop as much as we can in spots with open grassy areas to let her run around and get the wiggles out. In the car, what would you suggest? I’ve seen those little traytables that go over the carseat to help keep crayons and paper and such – is that worth bringing? She is still rear-facing if that matters.
AwayEmily says
We did a 10.5 hour trip with our kids at exactly that age. It was really hard. One thing that worked well for the 2.5yo was bringing lots of books she’d already read, and reading them aloud. Because she’s read them already she was able to follow along, so it was actually more engrossing to her than new books were. We are doing a similar trip in July (now kids are 2 and 4) and our plan is to drive from 12pm – 12am so they are asleep for much of it.
SC says
When we travel, I pack a bag of small, fun stuff. We start the trip with 2 activities accessible. Each time we stop, which is about every 2-2.5 hours, I switch out the activities for 2 more. I wait until the last few hours of the trip or the last few hours before “bedtime” to bring out the iPad because there’s no going back once they’re bored with that. We also do family dance parties (the time we stumbled across the top 20 of the top 500 from the 90s countdown was the best road trip moment ever), children’s podcasts, quiet time to look out the window, etc.
We try to maintain our schedule somewhat with meals and nap time. We also have several short breaks and one long break for running around outside the car everyday.
Around that age, we had success with water wow, magnets on a metal tray, pipe cleaners, stickers/reusable sticker pads, small toys for pretend play (dolls, vehicles, stuffed animals, whatever your kid is in to), magnadoodle, and something like Squigz or stretchy bands or some other non-messy sensory toy. We always had a hard time with crayons or markers because even with a tray, Kiddo drops them.
There are some great story podcasts for kids. Our family’s favorite so far is Circle Round. I’ve had Stories Podcast and Little Stories for Tiny People recommended to me, but we haven’t listened to them much.
I’m ambivalent on whether it was easier before or after we turned Kiddo around. Forward facing makes it easier to hand them toys or snacks or fix the ipad or whatever, but it made it much harder for my kid to sleep in the car at night because the oncoming headlights kept him up.
Emily S. says
I have not have good luck with either the Ninky tray or the Alex arts and crafts tray, when kids were rear or forward facing. YMMV, of course, but my kids just were not interested. I’ve seen the suggestion here to use a baking sheet and magnets, which I might try on our next long trip.
Other than that, audiobooks (several of the Curious George paperbacks come with downloadable audio, and I personally love the Frances audio collection); Water Wow; character figures (Little People, Daniel Tiger, etc.). Unfortunately, at that age, probably a lot of intervention from you: we have to sing songs, tell stories over and over, hand back new toys every 15 minutes, lots of snacks, etc. Something I heard on the Young House Love podcast that sounds fun but also is parent intensive is to have “celebrate” every time you hit one more hour of driving, a new state, 100 miles, etc., with a new toy, snack, or cheer.
We haven’t ever used a tablet, but I’m considering it for our next trip, and with a 12 hour trip, no judgment from me if you need to use one, too! Good luck with the move!
Anon says
We did a 9 hour drive last year with a 3 and 5 year old, so not exactly the same, but we did movies (via tablet) in the car for the first time. We also tried to leverage that for other things for awhile in the beginning of the trip, like built it up in the morning that there was a surprise, if you take a nap we have a surprise for you, etc.
Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks. When you stop at the gas station get junky snacks you wouldn’t get usually so they are new! and exciting!
ANON says
Do you know if your children get carsick? Will impact your activities a lot.
We did magnets on a cookie sheet and that was a huge hit (as suggested above). We haven’t tried any art due to car sickness. My other recommendation is that snacking / eating is for when you are driving. Stops are for running. (passes time in the car too). Ideally time an outdoor play for right before nap ,if they will sleep in the car.
Small stuffed animals or puppets that can hide around the car (grown up animation encouraged). Little people / paw patrol characters in and out of vehicles etc. Music that they like.
I also felt very clever realizing that if I wedged a pillow between the door of the car and carseat, toys can’t fall into the dreaded unreachable hole. Unfortunately after the first stop of the 9 hour trip last summer the LO (2) decided that this was NOT working for him, I have no idea why.
Thank you for the story podcasts described above.
Anonymous says
Id definitely stay in a hotel one night to break up the drive and flip her front facing if she’s big enough.
For Anonymous Driving says
I say this as a fairly anti-screentime mom (at least before Covid): get a kindle fire for your 2.5 y/o. We just drove 18 hours each way to AZ and back with a 3 y/o. We did have to stop to let kiddo get out his wiggles (and potty), but the Kindle kept us from having multi-hour meltdowns. DH only put DT and Blippi videos on there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful he even did that, but if it had been me, I might have put some games or something. Anyway the videos satisfied our kiddo for four days of driving. I took it away from him for naptime. We also took books, silly putty and a few activities, which he refused after he got the kindle, just so you know. Best of luck to you.
Anon says
Things that have worked well for my kids at 2.5:
-Duplos
-Disney audiobooks (aka Winnie the Pooh)
-Music
-M&D reusable sticker books (the small cardboard ones, not the giant books)
-Stringing pony beads on pipe cleaners
My kids weren’t independent at playing games on a tablet at that age, but ymmv with that. I’d also think about flipping her FF so that the two kids can share watching movies/shows on a tablet.
LittleBigLaw says
+1 for Disney audiobooks! We love the read-a-long books with cds and have gotten a ton at barnes and noble.
Anon says
Trying again because my first reply didn’t post…
Things that have worked well for my kids at 2.5:
-Duplos
-Disney audiobooks (aka Winnie the Pooh)
-Music
-M&D reusable sticker books (the small cardboard ones, not the giant books)
-Stringing pony beads on pipe cleaners
My kids weren’t independent at playing games on a tablet at that age, but ymmv with that. I’d also think about flipping her FF so that the two kids can share watching movies/shows on a tablet.
Anonymous says
For the question about “Jewish” names – for me Asher would be ok, I suppose, as would many other modern Hebrew names (Ilan for example- I might scratch my head and wonder about the choice but not uncomfortable). but there are some that would be uncomfortable (like Hadassah for a Christian girl, or something like Simcha as mentioned or Moshe or Aharon that is clearly the Hebrew version of the biblical name). And using Cohen as a first name is wildly offensive.
Anon says
Out of curiosity, why is Cohen offensive? I’m not doubting that it is–I absolutely believe you–and it’s not a name I’ve ever considered, but I’ve seen it a couple of times from people who I suspect don’t realize the offense.
Anon says
Never mind – I did what I should have done initially and googled the name Cohen. I had no idea that was it’s meaning (though I imagine I would’ve looked it up before I named a child that, so ignorance is probably no excuse in this situation.)
anon says
Yikes, I had no idea, either. I know a few people who have used that name for their boys.
Anon says
Never mind – I googled it, like I should have done initially!
Anonanonanon says
Did 15 hour trips with my 2-3 year-old (at the time) a few times a year. Things that worked (and recently worked on a 17-hour drive with my latest 2-year-old and now 9-year-old by myself):
-Save screen time until the end! Those last 3 hours can be brutal. Save watching a movie on the screen until then.
-Rent a minivan if you don’t have one. The space makes a lot difference for your mental state, and allows room to have a travel potty for the kids etc. I’d recommend having one of the adults sit in the back row of seats for at least a few hours with the kids in the captain seats. Then you can hand them things, engage with them, etc.
-Music. On our recent drive, the Hamilton soundtrack seemed to be the compromise for the kids. That took about 2 hours which was nice.
-Snacks, duh.
-Magnets and cookie sheet for the older one to stick them to.
-Water wow books aren’t normally a hit for my youngest but were in the car. Same with the melissa and Doug books that come with a marker that do the same thing. Travel-sized magnadoodle was a hit for a bit.
-Over-the-seat organizers. I got some on you-know-where with a clear plastic pocket that fit a tablet, which made screen time nice when the time came. Otherwise, being able to put activities in the pockets was nice because my two-year-old could point to what she wanted and big brother could grab them. Was much nicer than trying to go through bags of stuff that were on the floor and inevitably spilled. Would keep diapers and wipes etc. in easy reach for dealing with baby, too.
-Leave early, around 4:30. The fact it’s dark outside always kept my toddlers interested enough in behaving for a few hours. Drive as long as you can before stopping to eat a pre-packed breakfast outside (on a blanket or picnic table at a rest stop is my usual plan). I am usually able to make 4:30-8:30 without needing a big stop which is nice.
-I got a car cooler that plugs in the car for this trip since I didn’t want to stop for food, and that was really nice!
-I know instinct is to stop as much as you can, but in my experience with two kids who have wildly different personalities, I was more successful with both as toddlers if I reduced the number of stops. Stopping too much drags it out. Let them get their wiggles out, use the travel potty, etc. while one parent gets gas so it’s all combined into one stop, for example. With the exception of a stop to eat breakfast outside about 4 hours in, we don’t stop except for gas. That’s when everyone stretches and potties (obviously if your 2.5 year old is potty trained you might need to stop more).
-When my son was a toddler and we road tripped, I let him just stand on the running board and go #1 out the side of the car on the side of the highway to save time. No one could see him with the door open and he thought it was great fun.
fallen says
We pay ours 1000 per week for 45-50 hours, under the table. When interviewing we let nannies set the rates and whether they wanted to pay under the table or not.
NYCer says
This is the norm amongst my circle as well. Generally higher than that ($25/hour range) for families who pay on the books.
MomAnon says
NYC here. We pay $19 / hour under the table. We let nanny set initial rate and have given raises annually. In my experience, when interviewing nannies in this area, they all were concerned with the amount they would net or take home weekly (which was hard to get used to, because I typically think of salary as a gross number!). So in this instance, nanny wants to come away with $19 / hour. She is willing to be paid on the books, but if so, wants ~$25+ hour (or whatever the equivalent is that would result in her netting $19 / hour. Hope this helps!
OP says
I wish today wasn’t such a nesting/posting fail. Sigh.
I’m not in law. No political aspirations. No reason anyone would care if I was over/on table. If my nanny is truly indifferent (she says she is), should we just do under? The mom/financial professional in me is like: but no! one must pay in to SS and unemployment, etc etc, and the bias to on the table doesn’t have anything to do with the actual legality of it. Shes 25, turning 26 this year, starting school at night for education, lives at home and will be paying for her own health insurance come her birthday.
OP says
Clarifying to say: the stance on contributing to SS, for example, being for the benefit of the employee… not because ‘that’s the right thing to do for society’.
Anonymous says
You may want to think about EITC as it applies to her too – or ask her to consider it. She may be eligible depending on her situation but obviously wouldn’t be if paid under the table.
The big risk to you is that she eventually applies for unemployment or something and lists you as her prior employer.
Anonymous says
I’m a law-abiding person in general so maybe more conservative on this than others but I think the protections offered from legal employment are there for a reason and that is to help the employee. I’m not saying you are exploiting the person – and the specific person you are talking about doesn’t appear to come from an exploited class – but I do think that in general it is far better – for their sake – for someone to be paid on the books. Especially because household workers including nannies are more likely to be women and women of color. Establishing a history of paid employment and paying into SS and unemployment are all important for long-term financial security. And in the current crisis, if we had been paying our nanny under the table, she wouldn’t be eligible for unemployment, which she now gets because while we paid her through the school year (even though she didn’t work given social distancing), we never planned to keep her this summer and she can’t find other employment.
blueberries says
The US has a very minimal social safety net. Paying on the books is the only way a person can access some of those minimal benefits that might mean the difference between having basic needs covered and living on the streets in the event something bad happens.
Also, it’s a crime for an employer to fail to purchase workers’ comp coverage in my state.
Anonymous says
For the poster asking about cumulative risk – someone correct me if I am wrong, but part of the issue is simple math – it takes a certain amount of virus to actually cause an infection. If you just inhale a few particles, your immune system can probably fight it off. But beyond a certain threshold, you will likely succumb to infection. So reducing the number of virus particles you are exposed to is important. If you might be exposed to a lot through a high risk interaction, it is important to try to keep other exposure to a minimum in case any exposure during the high risk interaction was insufficient to cause illness.
Also, good grief, I would want my dentist to avoid unnecessary risk as much as possible so he doesn’t pass it on to me as a patient if he contracts the virus but is presymptomatic or asymptomatic! So another reason would be, minimize risk so you can tell your patients honestly you are doing everything you can to make coming into your office safe.
anon says
Please talk me out of feeling like a horrible mom because I’m considering sending my kid back to daycare next week. It’s really for two reasons: 1) I’m burning out from trying to be a SAHM and WAHM simultaneously; and 2) I feel like my daughter is not getting enough stimulation at home. I’m trying to have fun activities available to her, but I can’t keep it up consistently. DH is great when he’s hands-on and is definitely doing his fair share, but he’s not one to browse Pinterest looking for learning activities, KWIM? It also can’t be good for her to constantly hear, “Mommy and Daddy are busy!” is it? She’s 5, for reference.
If I’m being really honest, I’m dreading the quiet judgment from people who aren’t in our position. Probably because I’m judging myself a little bit.
Anonymous says
My kiddo went back this week. Things that make me feel better: (1) she wants to be there. (2) I can actually be present when we’re together now, and that makes me a better mom.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s impossible to both watch kids (at least little ones) and work at the same time. This situation is unsustainable and I personally think the risks of kids being stuck at home with parents who don’t want them there (b/c they have to work!) and without peer interaction outweigh the risks of Covid. Some people have different risk assessments, but that’s mine and I think a lot of ours here. We recently did a playdate for my older kid and to see him interact with his friend compared to being at home (even with a sibling) was like night and day.
Anonymous says
Boston LE, I totally agree with your analysis.
Jocelyn says
Do it! Mine have been back for 2 weeks as I had to start going into the office. My kids are so so much happier and my husband and I are as well. There is a reason that being a stay at home parent is a full time job, you cannot do two jobs at once. It was making me miserable trying to do both at home and consistently feeling like I was always failing at parenting or at doing my job. Also my kids are so much happier now that they are back.
Anon says
For what it’s worth, I don’t know anyone who is actively keeping their kids out of daycare at this point. Everyone I know has thrown in the towel on this already, if they have the option. Our daycare is still closed or we’d be right there with you.
Anonymous says
I think we were the last hold outs. They are staring this week albeit part-time to reduce their exposure.
Anonanonanon says
anon at 12:33, go for it! If I wasn’t immunocompromised, my kids would have been in childcare this whole time. My youngest is at an in-home daycare that never closed, and we are one of 2 families that pulled kids out.
Anonanonanon says
random, but, fwiw, Bath and Body Works has consistently had mini hand sanitizers in stock the past few weeks. The scents seem to change every day. Some of the ones I’ve gotten are horrific, but others aren’t so bad. I don’t normally shop there, so wanted to share. I took the opportunity to get some fun new scents of hand soaps, too (WHO AM I)
TheElms says
Is anyone aware of any research about language acquisition for young toddlers when they can’t see people’s mouths? When I talk to her now I can tell she is intently watching my mouth and trying to mimic. I’d really like to send my kid back to daycare when it reopens (which I anticipate it will in the summer sometime) but kid is 13 months. She’s at daycare typically 9-10 hours a day and my understanding is that all the teachers will have masks on. There isn’t a lot of time outside those 9-10 hours a day for her to have much meaningful interaction with me/ DH who wouldn’t be wearing a mask other than during the weekend. Is that enough?
Anonymous says
What is the alternative? Being home with parents who are trying to work seems like it would be worse for language acquisition than going to day care with masked teachers.
TheElms says
A nanny would be our alternative.
Anonymous says
Blind children learn to talk.
anon says
I mean…I was born blind and started talking at 10 months. It’s fine.
Anonymous says
I’m in BigLaw currently and about to accept a government agency job offer. Right now, my husband and I are taking turns watching our 1-yr-old and I’m doing a lot of work before 9 am and after 5 pm. When/Should I bring this up with the agency? I don’t know yet what their expectations are for being available during business hours, but I do know that other people who work for this agency are currently tag-teaming childcare as I am, so they can’t be completely surprised by it. Thoughts?
Anonymous says
You shouldn’t. You are a brand new employee. You need to get childcare so you can do your work in the work day at first.
Anonanonanon says
Sorry, but agree with Anonymous @ 2:32 (specifying in case nesting is still broken)
At the very least, I’d get a nanny for the first two weeks, or have your husband take leave, until you can get a feel for what the expectations are. You’re the new person, even if you know other people are cobbling schedules together, you need to be available during business hours until you’re oriented and set up. I have never shown up to my first day of a government job to find all of my accounts set up and ready to go. It’s not fair to expect IT, HR, etc. to be available before 9 or after 5 to get you set up. After you’re set up and have worked a couple of weeks, you’ll have a better idea of whether it will be acceptable to work non-core hours, but IME government is MUCH less lenient about this stuff
Anonymous says
I work for a nonprofit, not government, but we deliberately make space for candidates to ask lifestyle questions of peers during the interview process. Under the current circumstances we’d expect a candidate to ask general questions about pandemic accommodations such as “So how is the agency approaching WFH arrangements during the pandemic?” YMMV.
Anonanonanon says
I think a broad question like that is acceptable, I wouldn’t balk at being asked that, but I read the poster’s question as whether or not she should tell them her plan is to work before 9 and after 5, which I definitely do not think she should do as a new hire in government. “How is your agency approaching employees working at home during daycare closures due to COVID-19?” is different than “Do you expect me to be available during business hours? Because I play to work before 9 and after 5”