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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 124 Comments · by

Feeding Tuesday: Berry Washing Bowl and Colander

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Oxo Good Grips 3 Piece Berry Bowl & Colander SetI bought a berry washing bowl — it’s like a tiny colander — sort of by accident a while ago. I got it through a catalog I had when I was reading Hellobee a lot and was obsessed with all the cute little lunches they were making for their kids. I bought some stuff that we don’t use any of today, but we do use the random colander we picked up as part of that order. (Unfortunately, I don’t remember the catalog!) We use the colander all the time — it’s great for washing berries or anything else for your kids that you want to rinse off quickly without pulling out the huge colander. I use it for draining cans of green beans all the time. This one is significantly fancier than the one we originally got, and what’s particularly nice about this is that you put the colander in the bowl and you just hand your kid the whole thing — the water continues to drain in the bottom of the bowl. This one also has a top to it, which is nice. It comes with the small bowl, the small colander, and the lid, and it’s sort of a pretty, happy red color. It seemed expensive to me when I bought it, but I’m very happy with the purchase. (FYI, it is not microwavable.) It’s $14.99 at Amazon. OXO Good Grips 3 Piece Berry Washing Bowl, Colander (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. Anon in NOVA says

    Hive, I am struggling.
    I’ve been TTC #2 for a few months (less than 12) and I really thought I’d be pregnant by now. I’m a “planner” type personality and had been thinking things along the lines of “ooo I’ll have to remember to get a cute maternity outfit for X conference this Spring” and “I should schedule X work event for after X month in case I’m on maternity leave around that time”.

    Now I feel like a stupid, silly, idiot for making those assumptions. :( I’m struggling more than I thought I would be. Like random bouts of crying, occasionally taking off early to just go home and crawl into bed for an hour before everyone else gets off work, etc. I didn’t expect to be so emotional like this, but I feel like I’ve hit what I “planned” to be the worst-case-scenario in our pregnancy timeline and feel like I failed.

    Not sure what I’m asking for here, I guess some commiseration or tips to get through it. Or great cocktail recipes for when my period inevitably starts in the next couple of days. Might as well enjoy it, right?

    • S says

      Can you view this as an opportunity to work on accepting life on its own terms and not planning so much? Very hard, I know, but if you gain that skill now it will help with SO many things in the future.

    • EB0220 says

      Can you plan two tracks to satisfy your desire to plan? One track is “get pregnant soon and that’s fun”. Another is “don’t get pregnant soon and that’s also good.” That way you’ll also get the mental exercise of being aware of the good things that come from getting pregnant later?

      • Anon in NOVA says

        This is a good idea, and I think I’m naturally shifting this way. I had been setting aside a bit of “secret” money for fancy maternity clothes. I might give myself a deadline like “if I’m not pregnant by X date I will use this money to fly and visit my friend in X city”. (because even if I end up pregnant right after I can still afford maternity clothes, just not all the fancy seraphine stuff) This way, either way, I have something to look forward to and the money is still set aside for a fun “me” thing.

        My first pregnancy was when i was much too young (not a “teen”, but in college), was a “woopsy”, and with the completely wrong person. I think I was hinging too many unhealthy “i’m going to get a chance to do it the RIGHT way” hopes on this.

        • Winter says

          My friend made a bucket list of things you can’t do pregnant and knocks things off the list (skydiving!!).

          Also, commiseration. Got my period yesterday and am trying to get pregnant and it’s hard not to be let down.

    • NOVA Anon says

      Hugs. Had this happen with my first. It’s okay to feel this way. What helped was not planning for being pregnant during X event until I actually knew I was going to be pregnant during X event. I’m a planner too, so it actually helped to plan for NOT X, and then be pleasantly surprised later on when it was easier to shift things around because of my pregnancy. Good luck – you will get through this :)

      • Cb says

        This is really smart. It took me about 9 months and I really struggled with it. By assuming I wasn’t pregnatn, it made it slightly easier to deal with. And the month I did get pregnant, I took an early test to get my disappointment out of the way and was pleasantly surprised.

      • Anon in NOVA says

        Thank you for the “it’s okay to feel this way”. I think that’s a lot of what I needed to hear! :)

    • GCA says

      Hugs! It’s ok to feel this way. This happened to me, too, and eventually I was like, ok, I’m not going to let waiting get in the way of life. So I signed up to do a marathon, a triathlon, etc with a plan to check in to see a doctor after 12 months. What if, for every negative pregnancy test, you put $100 in a jar (real or virtual) and save it for travel? Or some other fun incentive?

      • Anon in NOVA says

        I really like this idea! I’m a testing addict, so probably not for every test, but every cycle where it doesn’t work out putting aside $100 toward flying to visit a friend or something. I’m going to do this!!

  2. Momata says

    Maybe I’m missing something, but I just wash berries in the carton they came in after removing any little cushion, then put the carton on a paper towel on a plate.

    • mascot says

      Right, this is bowl cute, but it seems like a solution in search of a problem. I use the carton as colander or pull out the actual colander. Between a set of nesting mesh colanders and the collapsible one I got as a promo gift, we can strain/drain for days at our house.

    • Anon says

      I do the same. To me this seems like just more kitchen clutter and not a gadget that would make life easier.

  3. EB0220 says

    I’m thinking about starting a blog – sort of an “Expecting Better” but for after the baby is born. I’m an economist and mom of 2 and there are plenty of topics I can think of. Off the top of my head I am thinking of – breastfeeding v formula feeding outcomes, impact of childcare costs across different demographics, gender norming in group childcare environments, screen time, “academic” preschools. What is something you would be interested in? Totally hypothetical at this point so hopefully it’s OK to discuss here.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Maternity leave and paternity leave policies, postnatal care outcomes (if you haven’t seen the videos from Nev Schulman and Laura Perlongo, watch them), vaccines, screen time, newborn sleep.

      And my personal crusade – medicating for depression and anxiety postpartum, even while nursing.

      • NewMomAnon says

        I should clarify; I support medicating for depression and anxiety postpartum, even while nursing. I did some significant research and talked with an OB psych when I made the decision to take anxiety meds while nursing.

      • ChiLaw says

        Oh man I wish I had read anything good/well researched/well written/non-fear-mongering while I was looking for help with PPD/A

        • NewMomAnon says

          There was some awesome website that I thought was put out by Stanford, but I can’t find it anymore – it summarized all the relevant studies for pregnancy and nursing for each type of medication, as well as the “baseline” research regarding outcomes for children whose mothers didn’t get treatment. Because so often the “baseline” a doctor or advocate parrots is the baseline for a mother who doesn’t have a mental health issue and doesn’t use medication, but that’s not a relevant comparison.

          • Meg Murry says

            Are you thinking of the Infant Risk Center at Texas Tech? They do a lot of research as to what medications actually transfer into a women’s milk and therefore which drugs are higher or lower risk for nursing mothers based on that.

    • Knope says

      I would LOVE this. Sleep training would be another topic I’d be interested in – I know there’s a good amount of research on it. Also working weaning/timing of solid food introduction into the breastfeeding v formula discussion. Personally I think there’s so much out there worth discussing that you should do two books – start with the infant/toddler stage then move to the preschool/early childhood development years!

      • EB0220 says

        Yes, I would LOVE this. I actually keep tweeting Emily Oster about this idea in case she has something in the works but I haven’t gotten a response. So I guess it’s fair game!

    • lsw says

      Really love this idea – there are so few sources I actually trust online. One thing I’ve found difficult to navigate online is science-based info for what you put into your body while nursing. Everyone talks about all these supplements, but the LCs I’ve talked to keep telling me there is no proof that drinking lots of water helps supply, and that the only thing that really works is taking out more milk and getting your body to replace it. Is there any research on outcomes? Also it’s really tough to find out things like what you shouldn’t have (medication wise, peppermint is apparently a thing?, etc.). I feel like that is not my most articulate comment.

      Hot topic I care a lot about – societal norms that allow us to say a dad is being a “great dad” if he watches his kids alone or something like that. Thought of it with your gender norming idea.

      Also, people are obsessed with sleep (for good reason) so that could be a good traffic driver for an early post.

    • Anonymous says

      I’d like to see something that collects the public health recommendations across 4 major English speaking western democracies (European Union, Australia, Canada, United States, + UK post Brexit)

      My DH is European and we often look up those recommendations as well. It’s comforting to know when something we are doing is in line with worldwide advice or provides a different perspective and usually good peer reviewed discussion when there is inconsistency between the standards. I wish I could find all this in one place for each topic.

      • Cb says

        Yes, sometimes it really varies and that info is helpful. I say this, clinging to my contraband unisom b/c UK midwives are stingy with the morning sickness drugs.

      • Meg Murry says

        Yes, our pediatrician is German and went to medical school there, so he is able to give us perspective on not just the AAP recommendations but also the WHO and European guidelines. For instance, the chicken pox vaccine isn’t as common in some parts of Europe, and he talked us through the pro/cons of doing it on the AAP/CDC schedule vs postponing until it was absolutely required (before K). He also talked to us in terms of household and herd immunity risks – for instance, chances are my healthy 3 year old would have been fine getting chicken pox instead of the vaccine (and maybe have been better off in the long run with things like shingles), but when I was pregnant it was more risky to chance him bringing it home and infecting a newborn, etc.

        Have you listened to any of the Freakonomics podcasts where they compare data on what turns out to be a control group and prototype by virtue of when policies role out? For instance, if state A changed their prenatal care program a few years before state B, so you can directly compare them as an experiment?

        • October says

          Do kids even get chicken pox anymore? Or not, because most people are vaccinated? I wouldn’t have a problem with my kid having chicken pox, per se — my concern is that due to vaccination rates, he wouldn’t catch it as a kid and would potentially get is as an adult (much more serious, especially if it’s a woman who’s pregnant). It’s kind of a chicken (ha ha, no pun intended) / egg situation now.

          • Anonymous says

            I took it as she had asked about the timing of the vaccine not whether to get it or not. Like right away vs. preK and the doctor explained the risk to the newborn of waiting.

          • Meg Murry says

            Yes Anon at 12:21 is right. When my son was due for the varicella vaccine (according to the AAP/CDC schedule), there were a few recent studies comparing populations that generally got chicken pox (like my sister and I, in our mid 30s now) vs populations that got the vaccine instead (my younger cousins, some classmates that didn’t catch chicken pox as kids and got the vaccine when it became available).

            The study was looking at outbreaks of chicken pox and shingles among high school and college age students and there was a hypothesis (that was being tested, not proven at that point and I haven’t followed up since) that the effects of the vaccine might wear off vs people who had contracted the disease itself who retained immunity. Or whether the shingles cases people developed later were worse among those who were vaccinated vs those who had chicken pox. The conclusions weren’t in yet, but it was enough to make our (not in any way anti-vax or hippie) PED discuss with us whether it made sense to give the Vax at 2-3 or wait until just before K if he hadn’t developed chicken pox by then.

            He also discussed something with us which I think also plays a big role: if our kid *did* get chicken pox and had to stay home from daycare for 2-3+ weeks, could my husband and I swing that or would it be a major job/financial hardship?

          • October says

            Makes sense. I was really just riffing on your topic — I’d in some ways prefer my child to get the actual chicken pox (for the reasons you outlined above re: the study), but I’m wondering if that’s even possible anymore…

    • EB0220 says

      Oh man, you guys are the best….so encouraging + great ideas! I’ll start planning now!

    • JTX says

      This isn’t an economist type post, but if you could make a post comparing and contrasting the ingredients of available formulas, that would be awesome. When I had to supplement with my first, I searched for something like that and was unable to find it (other than an oft-cited Food Babe [GAG] post). There are a lot of controversial ingredients in some formulas (palm oil, DHA/ARA which may be extracted using hexane, carregeenan, brown rice syrup which may contain arsenic, etc.). I didn’t have time to research all of that while trying to transition back to working full-time and I was very stressed about it.

      • CPA Lady says

        Something I noticed is that the “supplementing” formula had the exact same ingredients as the “regular” formula. I thought that was hilarious. Like we have to prove that we are just using formula to supplement with so other people (the cashier at Target?) can think we’re trying hard enough? Ah, mom guilt.

        Along b-feeding lines, I’d like to see information about whether or not pumped milk is the same as direct from the source– do all the same nutrition benefits still exist after milk is frozen and thawed? I see articles about how b-milk changes as your baby gets older. Is that true? Or is it all hooey and the b-milk you pump for your 1 month old is the same as what you pump for your 10 month old? I also saw some article about how b-milk can actually have more “toxins” than formula in certain areas of the country because women absorb these toxins from local pollution and then excrete them in their milk. Is that for real?

      • (former) 3L mama says

        I would have loved a post like this. I didn’t end up using formula, but I planned to, and it was very stressful trying to figure out if there was actually any difference between brands or what ingredients to look for/stay away from.

      • JTX says

        I would have also loved a post about excess lipase issues for pumping moms. I had excess lipase with both kids and as a result my oldest rejected my freezer stash (I’m still sad about this). I still have no idea what causes this issue, how prevalent it is, etc. I also don’t know if heating the milk prior to freezing (the only solution I ever found) does anything to hurt the nutritional quality or the taste of the milk.

    • H says

      Child development vs school curriculum. I’ve see a few articles recently that indicate these 2 things are in conflict for most American public schools.

      • Anononymous says

        Yes please! I saw a study that American teens do more socializing at school than teens in any other developed country (gee, I wonder why bullying is a problem? Too much time on their hands?) and pointed out that America does everything in school backwards and nearly ended up in a fight with another mom. (I thought letting little kids play was best was common knowledge. Apparently not.)

    • avocado says

      A similar s!te that already exists is http://www.parentingscience.com/Evidence-based-parenting.html.

      I would totally read your blog! I would especially like to see information relevant to parents of older kids. There is tons of stuff out there for parents of infants and preschoolers and there are some books about parenting teens, but there is a relative dearth of material for parents of school-aged kids.

    • Closet Redux says

      What do you all currently read for this kind of information? I read:

      – KellyMom for bf’ing advice (though with a grain of salt)
      – Mayo Clinic for health and medical advice
      – Dr. Sears for sleep and some other development stuff
      And a smattering of attachment parenting sites for disciplining my toddler.

      Apart from the Mayo Clinic site, I’m not totally sold on any of these as research-based and balanced. I loved Oster’s book for my pregnancy and would love something similar for infancy and childhood!

      • mascot says

        I read either on blogs or facebook: AlphaMom, PigtailPals & Ballcap Buddies, BrainChild, Aha Parenting. It’s not all scientific, but there are a lot of social/emotional issues discussed.

      • Anononymous says

        You know Sears was a nut who wanted to make mothering so hard that women would stay home from work, right? Like, he had a stated agenda.

        • avocado says

          This. So much this. I waited far too long to stop reading Sears and dump our (female) pediatrician who was a fan.

        • Closet Redux says

          Oh yes, I can definitely read that easily between the lines. Who should I read instead?

          • Closet Redux says

            The thing is I find so many of the pervasive writing on child caring to be extreme. I read KellyMom and LLL with a sideways eye because I find them to be too extreme– but what else is there? Random blog posts dont do me much good. Ditto for Sears and (and Gaskin when I was reading up on childbirth). I would love to find reasoned alternatives! Otherwise, I find myself keeping the parts I like and rolling my eyes at the rest. Not terribly effective “advice” I guess.

          • Anononymous says

            I liked Bringing Up Bebe (and would pay a fortune for French parenting books). I read and re-read that chapter on sleep and it saved my sanity. Also Science of Mom blog on sleep. Baby self-sleep-trained at 8 weeks, which I guess is pretty standard in France. I realized that sleep comes from good feeding and suspect many American’s problems with sleep begin with our breast feeding zealotry. (And our total unwillingness to let babies fuss. Fussing is different than crying! Also babies cry in their sleep! Ignore them!)

            Blessing of a Skinned Knee (not Jewish, but found lots of synchronicity with personal philosophy of responsibility and I am the boss). I liked Montessori From the Start, though most Montessori stuff is aimed at preschool age. I avoid anything Waldorf (started by the same guy who hung out with Madame Blavatsky and started the Anthroposophical Society!)

          • Betty says

            YES! This is what I crave: rational parenting advice that is realistic and not over the top martyr stuff (especially on the mom-side). I loved Bringing Up Bebe and would love to find other similar books. I remember crying when I read it because I felt like I finally had permission to take care of myself a bit and that it was also good for my kid. Any additional suggestions?

    • Anon says

      Car seats! I want the non-hysteria data. Do I really need to keep my kid rear facing til 4? Is it based on height/weight? Is it based on physical milestones? And what kind of risk trade off are we talking here? I get that we all want to reduce risk, but a screaming child for every 30 min drive vs. a 0.1% reduction in death in the event of a fatal accident…

      Also I’ve seen a lot of mommy-wars lately about how long kids are away from home. (My city offers 2 hour kindergarten, so there’s a lot of HORROR at those who leave their kids at daycare for 11-12 hours a day.) Any research on if there’s actual harm either way?

      • EB0220 says

        Oh this is awesome!! My husband and I are always talking about car seats.

        • ChiLaw says

          Same. Husband can’t wait for kid to be front facing for chatting/more room in the car purposes. While I have been fear-mongered into “Scandinavian countries keep them rear facing forever and no one dies! Rear facing until she graduates college!!!”

      • Anononymous says

        Y’know in NYC you don’t have to have a kid in a car seat in a cab? I suspect that the likelihood of you getting into a car accident is higher with the screaming than the seat would mitigate.

      • Anon says

        Adding on to car seats… I think we all saw that video about winter coats and car seats. But what is the data behind that? Do I really need to get a poncho for my kid? I live in the upper midwest, and they’re seriously suggesting I put them in a fleece? And/or stand there unbuckling and applying coats for 3 kids at every pickup and dropoff?? How does that even work next year when I’m in those crazy school drop off lanes where speed is god? Again, what kind of risk are we talking about here?

    • Meg Murry says

      For more from an economics perspective:
      -How much money are schools paying for high stakes testing? How much $ is going into the hands of testing companies, test prep companies, etc?
      -The correlation between socioeconomic status and test scores, which of course, I can’t find the exact study for now. I believe I heard it on Freakonomics or Planet Money or Marketplace. Basically, there was a study that found that you could predict a school’s performance on state standardized tests entirely on the household income – and therefore there is really minimal point to the tests, because it’s telling us things we already know and taking a lot of time and resources to do it.
      -Does paying arms and legs for early childhood education/daycare/preschool/elementary school actually make a difference in the long run, or are you better off with an “ok” setup and saving that money for other educational pursuits when they are older?

      If you have an academic/science background: reading actual studies and putting the results into perspective. Ok, so screen time isn’t great for babies. But how much difference was there between screen time babies and no screen time? 1%? 50%? As much as I love my kids, I’m willing to sacrifice 1% of their “potential” for my sanity, but 50% would give me pause.

  4. CLMom says

    Car commuting help.
    We’re moving baby into a convertible car seat. However, I now have no way to block the sun from her face and eyes. And, during my 35 min AM and 60 min PM commute, she is facing the sunrise/sunset. I have a blanket in her window for now, but I need a reliably shady solution. Suggestions?

    • Spirograph says

      That’s a tough one. There are mesh sunshades that stick on with suction cups to windows — I’m not sure if they’re legal or safe, visibility-wise, to use on a rear windshield, but it might be worth testing out. Or give her sunglasses! (95% sure she’ll take them off, though.)

      • CLMom says

        I was thinking sun-goggles (like an old timey pilot or a snowboarder or a swimmer might wear)…but then there’s a choke hazard.

    • ChiLaw says

      My kiddo just wears sunglasses? She’s worn them pretty well since she was 12 months old, and at about 16 months started *demanding* them when the sun was in her eyes. Now we keep a stash in the pocket behind the drivers seat so we can hand them to her when she asks for them.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. My kid started with her sunnies around 9 months and is totally used to them now (3 yrs old next week!!!). She demands them if it’s bright. (Protip: Keep a spare pair in your glove compartment. Always.)

    • blocking sun says

      We face the same sun problem on our hour-long commute. I second the suggestion of offering your child sunglasses. Tinted windows on the side help. I also hold up a manila folder to block the sun for my toddler if the sun visors aren’t helpful for the angle. This is not ideal for driving, but seems to calm him down. As he has gotten older, I give him an ipad and he holds it up to block the sun and watch his videos…..parenting win or fail, but it makes the drive bearable. good luck

    • JTX says

      We use a mesh sunshade that fits directly in our car window. If you google your particular model of car, you should be able to find something that is designed specifically for your car. It’s the best solution we’ve come up with. We were concerned with UV exposure for health reasons in addition to keeping the sun out of their eyes for comfort reasons. But we only really worry about it on long car trips.

  5. Running Numbers says

    Keeping with the topic of food, any good ideas for breakfast for a 16 month old? He was consistently eating 2 scrambled eggs and a piece of toast every morning, but he is sick of it after a few months. He already has a container of Greek yogurt every afternoon before his nap which is working well, so I don’t want to move yogurt. He was not a fan of oatmeal this morning. TIA!

      • Anononymous says

        Plain peanut butter is a choking hazard up there with lettuce and uncut grapes. Peanut butter in yogurt, or on toast or on crackers is fine.

        • HSAL says

          Whoa, lettuce is a choking hazard? We don’t eat it so it hasn’t come up, but I had no idea. Off to google…

    • Anonymous says

      Literally anything. He doesn’t know what “breakfast foods” are. Leftovers from last night’s dinner? Sure. Broccoli? Sure. If you want to stick with eggs but mix it up, maybe little quiche cups with meat and/or veggies (baked in cupcake pan).

      • Anon in NYC says

        Frittatas are a staple in our house. The beauty is that you can do anything with it. Ours right now is a combo of potato, spinach and cheese. We also do banana date muffins (Gwyneth Paltrow recipe).

    • SC says

      My kid likes whole wheat waffles. I made a huge batch (I think I quadrupled the recipe) and froze them on sheet pans, then stored them in gallon ziplocks. It was way cheaper than buying frozen waffles, plus less processed. Kiddo usually eats the waffles plain, but sometimes we’ll give him peanut butter or apple sauce with them.

    • Momata says

      Mine likes cottage cheese, waffles, peanut butter on crackers or toast, all the fruit. Sometimes we go continental and have cheese and cold cuts. Keep trying oatmeal; I find that it takes my toddlers a few tries to latch on to a food.

    • CHJ says

      My son loves pancakes. You can get frozen ones or make a batch on the weekend and freeze them. He also likes cereal, bagels w/ cream cheese & jam, fruit, bacon/sausage, cottage cheese… everything!

    • ChiLaw says

      I sound like a broken record, but broccoli patties were a great thing for any meal for us at that age. Broccoli (steamed and smashed up) + egg + bread crumbs + shredded cheese, bake, bam. Can be eaten cold or heated up. Got the recipe off wholesomebabyfood dot com.

      • Kim says

        You’re not a broken record; I haven’t seen this. But I love it! I think it’ll get my preschooler to eat veggies at home again. She only eats them at preschool.

    • GCA says

      Pancakes! Overnight oats blinged out with flaxseed meal, chia seeds, fruit, etc. Cream of wheat – lots of iron. Smoothies? Whole wheat muffins made with greek yogurt? (I actually make zucchini-carrot muffins with almond meal and rolled oats – extra protein and fiber.)

      • Anonymous says

        My pancake hack is to make a big batch for brunch/lunch on sunday and then freezer leftovers in individual sandwich bags. So easy to pop into the toaster for breakfast on weekdays.

      • PhilanthropyGirl says

        Yes – we do lots of oatmeal! I make it with milk and mix in raisins/currants and cinnamon.

        • Anonymous says

          We do lots of oatmeal too! I make an enormous batch in the crockpot on the weekend, plain, and then portion it out and freeze. that gives us several weekends’ worth of oatmeal ready to go, provided I remember to defrost the night before.

    • Marilla says

      Cheerios and a banana? We tend to alternate between toast, oatmeal, and cheerios, usually with a banana. Still working on getting my 14 month old to like eggs.

      • Walnut says

        Cheerios and a banana covers 90% of breakfasts for my 15 month old. We also add in banana bread and waffles when we have time.

  6. anon says

    Are cheerios too pedestrian? I was raised eating cereal every day and have tried to keep it simple.

    • Spirograph says

      My entire family had cheerios for breakfast this morning. Literally all of us, right down to the baby working on his pincer grasp

    • Betty says

      We all had cereal this morning. Kids and I had cheerios. My husband had gluten free cereal of some sort. Despite the claim on the box, some batches of cheerios are not actually gluten free. Argh.

      • anon says

        To clarify, my comment was meant in response to the question above about breakfast for a 14 month old. I’m not having an existential dilemma about my love of Cheerios (yet – I’m fully capable of that kind of thing). But thanks to all for the Cheerios support!

    • Anon says

      This. Cheerios or Chex. Glass of milk. Berries/fruit if I’m feeling fancy. The end.

  7. Penelope says

    How have others handled grandparents posting photos of their grandchild on Facebook? My husband and I are struggling with how to approach this as our baby is the first grandchild on both sides. We both have accounts but rarely post anything …we have often been told that we are too private by our respective families for this. We did establish a password protected website where we post a picture a day for the grandparents and family members. We initially asked them not to post to Facebook…this seemed to be taken as not until the baby is born, then one grandparent did it, then the other one shared…. Baby is now 3 months and the Facebook posting is starting to snowball with each side. We let it go at first because it was the holidays and everyone was excited about the new baby (and let’s be honest, baby is adorable in his holiday outfits) and they live far from us. It has continued though and I’m struggling to express why I feel annoyed/angry when I see a new photo (taken from the private website). Do I ask them to get us approve something before it goes up? Only allow things on special occasions? How do we balance their excitement as grandparents with privacy for baby and us? Thanks for your insights.

  8. lsw says

    I have the lack of concentration today that can only come from sleep deprivation. It’s 11:24 already and I’ve done next to nothing. Jesus, take the wheel!

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      Solidarity.

      I accomplished one thing. A thing due tomorrow. A thing I was told “good move on it.” A thing that – after “moving on it” – I was asked “Did you move on the thing? If not, wait.”

      Now I want a nap, a latte and a mani-pedi. None of which are forthcoming.

      • avocado says

        Go get a latte!

        I am going to get a cupcake right now even though it is not lunchtime. My excuse is that the blood sugar boost will counter the sleep deprivation and boost my productivity.

        • lsw says

          You read my mind – just got a delicious coffee and an almond croissant…

          …and I just booked a mani-pedi and a massage

        • PhilanthropyGirl says

          I’m now weighing the pros and cons of trekking across campus in the snow for a latte….

          Good on you, lsw!

  9. MomAnon4This says

    Has anyone had an actual dream – as in, while you were sleeping – about hurting your children?
    I’m seeing my therapist on Thursday.
    I had only slept 2 hours, woke to the 7monthold needing nursing (again), and the dream was VERY scary to me. In the dream I realized that I did not want to hurt my child, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, in order to have one less thing to worry about. I am rational about it, it could have been because I watched morbid TV show right before sleep, and I know dreaming does not equal subconscious longing or fact at all. I am taking today for some serious self-care and will probably take a benedryl or unisom tonight to get 8 good hours. I told my husband about the dream.

    Anyone else been through this and can give me a range of normal on it? Kind of scary that it happened. Thanks.

    • mascot says

      Yes. And in other dreams I’ve hurt other family members, cheated on my husband, committed any number of crimes, etc. All of these dreams were really upsetting the next day or so and I felt awful None of them have come true. I’m a really vivid dreamer, I can’t control the content, and stress affects my dreams a lot. On the other hand, my husband doesn’t remember his dreams at all so we don’t talk about them much. I try not to worry about it for the reasons you mentioned and just let it pass. Talk to your therapist though, because part of my PPD manifested as very specific anxiety dreams and were odd even for me.

    • Anonymous says

      Therapist and self care are good ideas. It’s your brain’s way of telling you that you need a break. Take care of yourself. It’s okay to nurse at night and decamp to the spare room while hubby settles baby. Or for hubby to feed baby expressed milk or formula and you to get a night in the spare room (or a hotel if no spare room).

      Put on your own oxygen mask first, it’s best for you and for baby.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      Not the child – unless you count early PP crazy dreams where I accidentally smothered him because I fell asleep in bed with him.

      But I’ve dreamed of doing atrocious things to my husband. Very upsetting for sure. Sometimes they’re so realistic I can’t separate reality from dream. Vivid dreams are rare for me, and all the more upsetting because they are unusual occurrences. Mine are usually associated with stressful times.

      I do find talking about it helps, mostly in to separate reality from whatever your brain is processing in the middle of the night. I think what we watch or read can impact what we dream, but I think it’s mostly our brains trying to categorize and make sense of our day.

    • MomAnon4This says

      Very helpful from all of you in that it can be a scary yet semi-normal expression of stress. Thank you for affirming.

  10. Working Mom's group - inspiration? says

    There has been a bit of a groundswell on my town to create a working mom’s group. It started on Facebook and has about 800 members now. Initially, it was a few working moms who felt isolated in our very SAHM oriented town. Turns out there are way more of us than we thought, we are all just doing our best to tread water and haven’t had time to meet people!

    So, we are coming up with a couple of concrete things the group could do to benefit working moms/families with two working parents/single working moms.

    If this were your town, what would you want/like? We so far have a focus for meet ups for adults than welcome partners/children (trying to find kid coverage to attend a moms night on a weeknight? Yuck.), creating family events on the weekend, a mentor program (moms who have older kids and successful careers paired with new moms), a skills database, and since we have a lot of HR types in our group, a job search type function (esp since a lot of women say they’d love a more flexible role or one outside the city and closer to our ‘burb).

    Any other ideas? I’m a mom of kids <6 but there are moms with kids all the way up into college participating, with careers all over the map, from part time/self employed to 80% travel, at all levels.

    • Anon says

      A calendar of key dates. I had no idea that you (essentially) have to sign up in early January for preschools that start in August, so I’ve missed the window already on any of the full-time options. I assume I’ll somehow also miss the signup times for summer camps when that starts to become an issue.

      Also, ideas of things to do with your kids/ as a family in the area. I know of the BIG things but not all of the little local events like community plays or bake sales at the high school or whatever.

      Community news. It’s hard to stay up-to-date on local issues. I’d love to know what they’re building on that corner, or what happened to that councilwoman, or what happened at the school board meeting.

    • Anon in NOVA says

      Child care resources, like a list of drop-off daycare that accepts sick children (if there’s such a thing in your area), or resources to cover snow days, etc.
      Maybe reviews of summer programs/after school programs?

    • NewMomAnon says

      I have wished that I had some sort of “working mom safety net” to call if I needed to run to the office on a weekend or work late at night. It would be great to have a list of available parents to pitch in for each other. Or a babysitting co-op where you swap sitting each other’s kids so you can have date nights with spouses….

      The other thing I’ve heard discussed in working mom’s groups is a communal maternity work clothes closet; somewhere you can leave your office maternity wear when you’re done with it, and pick up a few pieces when you need them.

    • Meg Murry says

      For things to just throw at the wall:
      -babysitting co-op or some kind of way to exchange favors for “credits”? Like I babysit for you, you drive carpool for me, etc?
      -Drop in events at places like playgrounds. I have no idea if I can come to an event a few weeks from now that I have to RSVP for and pay for, but if there is a group meeting at the playground every Saturday at 10 am, I can probably hit up some of them.
      -Perhaps potlucks or some type of dinner swaps.
      -If you are in an area where it snows (or even not) some kind of snow day resources so perhaps you could share a babysitter, etc.
      -Arranging carpools and before/after care for all those summer camps that are 9 am to 3 pm.
      -Teach me/my kid a skill. My kids want to learn to cook, I’m terrible at it. I tried to teach them to crochet, they could care less

    • Anonymous says

      I’d start simple:

      1) Monthly luncheon – second Tuesday of everything month (or whenever). If your town is spread out, you can split into east/west or north/south groups. Pick a restaurant and unless there is an awful problem, go to the same place each time. With 800 people, I’d start by breaking it up into luncheon subgroups – Age 5 and under; Age 5-14 and high school aged moms. Have each of the three groups have their monthly luncheon on a different day so people can attend more than one if applicable.

      2) Monthly playdate for ages 5 and under. Do any of the daycares in your town do rentals for birthday parties? A location like that could work. I find older kids have their own friends and aren’t interested in get togethers with new people.

    • Onlyworkingmomintulsa says

      Oh my gosh, can I move to your city? This sounds wonderful! And all of the ideas listed are so great. I would definitely have a camp/daycare review for those with school-aged kids and what they do with them during Spring, Winter and Summer breaks.

    • MomAnon4This says

      Don’t forget career stuff: career/life coaches that specialize in women, in transitioning back to jobs after time off, financial planners, family law attorneys (yes, divorce!), adoption/fertility resources, stylists and organizers and people who help working moms organize their lives. Get them to JOIN the group and they can use it as (some – not too much) marketing for their own REAL entrepreneurial business (NOT MLM) and the group will THRIVE.

  11. lucy stone says

    Mesh crib bumpers: yay or nay? My daughter is 5 months and has become enamored with trying to stick her limbs out of the crib.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      We had them. We didn’t have much of a problem with sticking limbs out – but I found mine were ALWAYS falling down, getting all scrunched by the mattress, and were not actually useful for keeping limbs in the crib. Maybe I just didn’t have a good set – but I found them a waste of money.

    • Anononymous says

      Can you wait a month or two? SIDS rates drop significantly at 6 months. (Highest in months four and five.)

    • Momata says

      I would go sleep sack over mesh bumper. Cuts the number of potential protruding limbs down to two :)

      • lucy stone says

        We have a sleep sack on her already and she still manages to get her legs through in the sack.

    • MomAnon4This says

      No. In about 3 months she’ll be able to control her arms and legs so much that she’ll be crawling and she’ll probably be able to keep her arms and legs inside the crib at all times, ha…

    • Anon says

      Ours got zero use as a bumper. It got a ton of use tied over the top of the crib rail so she’d stop chewing on it. (Done in a moment of improv at 12am when we discovered white paint chips on her mouth…)

    • anon says

      Yeah, we also got them in a panic (there must be a whole category of impulse-buy products for parents freaking out about their baby’s latest innovation in Not Sleeping) but I don’t think they really did much in hindsight. The getting limbs stuck phase is short, and the determined baby can stick a limb above or below the bumper. Yours does sound like an overachiever though. They aren’t too expensive, so maybe worth a try?

    • EBMom says

      Nay. To each their own, but I think they can be dangerous. They can get tangled, and an older baby can use them to help get a step up to climb out of the crib. We used wonder bumpers, which worked great but were expensive.

    • Anonymous says

      Yes. I started having children back when they were considered safe alternatives to regular bumpers rather than the death traps they are considered today.

      I have absolutely zero concerns about ours. You can fold it up or bunch it up and very easily breathe through it. I don’t have a problem with it bunching up on the crib in the ~5 total years I’ve used it for three children.

      None of them have been able to use it to climb out. The sleep sack seems to prevent them from getting close (and we’ve transitioned them to beds by ~age 2).

      FWIW, my oldest would also get limbs stuck in the crib even when wearing a sleep sack during a period when we used a mini crib without a bumper.

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