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I occasionally turn to H&M for both basics and those little things that make outfits pop. Until recently, I had no idea they also made nursing clothes.
These short-sleeved, fitted nursing tops are perfect for spring and summer. Made from stretchy and soft organic cotton jersey, they have a wrap front and inner top for easy nursing or pumping access.
Available in convenient two-packs of neutral, universally flattering colors/patterns, they’re the quintessential basic. Add sweats for lounging or jeans for outings with your little one.
A two-pack of these tops is $29.99 at H&M. They’re available in four different sets in sizes XS–XXL.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anonymous says
For the mom looking for bike learning tips: here is the tip that saved our backs: put a backpack on your kid (ideally one with a chest clip so it stays on well) and hold kid by the backpack handle. SO MUCH EASIER than holding the saddle!
Cb says
That is such a good idea! I tried to find a class as my son is so, so close to being able to ride himself, but is getting frustrated with our efforts to teach him.
Anne-on says
A vacation spot we went to with kids offered a ‘learn to ride’ clinic, which was great, but they used something like this which looked SO much easier for a parent vs. holding the seat.
https://www.bicyclebuys.com/sunlite-trainer-push-bar/0977801?utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=comparison-shopping&utm_campaign=Froogle
Mm says
This should be a fairly basic find but for some reason I’m having trouble – any recs for light, easy to pull on, non-legging, cotton pants for a potty training toddler? LO’s favorite pants are a tagless ribbed pair that came home from daycare but I haven’t found a dupe.
Cb says
I bought them at H&M last year, they came in a 5 pack in different colours.
Anonanonanon says
Zara kids used to be my go-to for these
Anonymous says
H&M joggers
anonM says
For my DD, I used a bunch of hand-me-downs from DS because they’re easier than “girl” pants – basic sweats tbh. It’s nice to have a bunch of extras on hand, and to throw extras in both our cars, for daycare extras, diaper bag, etc. Just note that some of the “boys” ones are longer, and they were too long for DD (but just fine for “backups” for daycare and cars). This is a great one for a run to a resale shop.
anon says
Advice on how to handle this situation? I have a 6 yo and a 2 yo. At dinner last night, the 6 yo started to tell us a story about her day. The 2 yo started making babbling noises, drowning out what the 6 yo was saying. The 6 yo tried talking over the noise but eventually got frustrated. Parents tried talking to 2 yo, saying, “sister is speaking, please be quiet and listen, when she’s done it’s your turn,” reminding him of this multiple times gently but firmly, but he continued (because he’s 2). 6 yo eventually got frustrated and mad and refused to continue, 2 yo started crying loudly, both parents were frustrated and the 6 yo never got to finish her story. I know this is typical 2 yo behavior but I felt frustrated on 6 yo’s behalf that she didn’t get a chance to speak. What would you have done? I know we could just ask the 6 yo to wait until 2 yo is getting ready for bed but that seems to send the wrong message. She should be able to participate in family conversations over dinner without having to compete with a 2 yo. Am I just being overly sensitive about this? As someone who hates being interrupted, this just really frustrated me.
Anon says
Since the culprit is 2, I think the error was in trying to control the 2 year old after the toddler made it clear they weren’t going to stop babbling – and a 2 year old is gonna 2.
I’d do the whole thing re-focusing on the 6 year old.
1 – if you can, just look the 6 year old in the eyes with focused attention close to their face, and tune out the 2 year old. Sometimes I find that just locking into the kid who is speaking helps tune out the unrelated noise.
2 – if the 2 year old is too loud for this, I’d tell the 6 year old to “hold her thought,” and that you really want to hear what she is saying – and you can stand up and leave the table for the story.
3 – Or remove the 2 year old from the table.
Honestly, though, I have two year olds, and they just aren’t developmentally ready to stop talking if instructed to stop talking. I feel like I am far less frustrated as a parent when I stop trying to control toddlers, and instead, control the setting in which the toddler is gonna toddler.
Katrinka says
Could one parent take 2 YO out of the room while the other listens to 6 YO’s story? I know ideally both parents could listen, but at least this way 6 YO can feel “heard.”
NYCer says
+1. This is generally our strategy as well in circumstances like OP described.
Anonymous says
The 2 year old is 2. They literally developmentally don’t have impulse control in their brain. Working on taking turns in a conversation is actually something they work on, but don’t master, in PreK 4 classes. And it’s dinner time when they’re probably a bit tired and not their best selves. I WOULD explain this to the 6 year old. “I know it’s hard your sibling interrupted you. They are little and still learning how to wait their turn in conversation. Can you tell me your story now?”
Anon says
+1 I think learning to deal with younger siblings is a great life skill to develop dealing with difficult people forever.
At this point my older kids know that younger kids don’t have that impulse control – it’s something we’ve talked about a lot. And all my kids know they will get individual focused time – it might not be on their clock but that’s a compromise for having siblings, whom they love very much.
Anon says
Is there a way to remove the 2 year old from the situation? Make her play alone in her room for a few minutes? (Not as punishment, but just as a way of removing her from the situation)?
Anon says
I’m not sure there’s anything to “do” there. It sounds like a frustrating experience that crops up in the course of being a family with small kids. I’d circle back with daughter afterwards and let her know as much – “That was frustrating at dinner when brother did X. He’s still learning about table manners and was having a tough time being patient. I really want to hear the rest of your story, can you tell me now?” You could perhaps try to make a game of teaching turns tonight at dinner (in the style of lame “games” that kids seem to love – maybe you go around the table and each name an animal, and parents make a big deal of quieting down and listening when it’s the next person’s turn).
Anon says
My comments still totally disappearing…every time.
But basically, your frustration was in trying to control toddler, rather than optimizing the 6 year old’s opportunity to speak. Toddler gonna toddler. Lock in on the 6 year old with focused attention, if that does not work; tell the 6 year old to hold her thought, and leave the room quickly to have the conversation with the 6 year old or remove the 2 year old from the table (not punitive, just excuse them).
anonM says
We’ve had similar situations with a 2 and 4yo, but so far hasn’t been that obvious/upsetting because the oldest at 4 gets pretty easily distracted himself. But, just an idea– I saw a tip somewhere on interrupting where if a child comes to you interrupting, you can put your hand on the child’s to signal that you acknowledge that they want to speak but have to wait. You keep your hand there until a break in the conversation, then you do have to follow through and acknowledge them. Maybe you could do something similar- when 2yo interrupts, put your hand on 6yo to let them know you’re waiting until 2yo stops and then you’ll listen. I’d talk to 6yo generally about it in a calm time. (“Let’s talk about last night. That was frustrating. I’ve got an idea, a kind of special code between us so you know I’m going to listen to your story….”). Totally just an idea!! I liked the tip I saw but haven’t tried it myself yet.
Redux says
We do this– I think it’s a Montessori thing? My kids learned around age 2 that when they want to speak with me but I’m talking with someone else, they put their hand on my body (my shoulder or my leg), and I put my hand on top of theirs to signal that I know they are waiting. At the first possible break, I acknowledge them by saying, thank you for your patience, and they tell me what they need to say. They are elementary age now and still do this when they want to talk with me and I’m in the middle of a conversation. It looks like a huge parenting flex that my kids never interrupt, actually. Not a humble brag just saying its extremely useful skill that has carried us through many years! It doesnt really apply to your situation at the dinner table, but it might be something to try in other contexts to get practice with waiting for your turn to speak.
Anonanonanon says
When we went through a similar period, we told our older kid that we really wanted to hear his stories and what he had to say, and that it was so important to us to hear and focus on his stories that we wanted to wait until little one was in bed so it could be just us big folks having a chat. He felt important/special that he got to chat with the adults once the little one was in bed. If he tried to tell us earlier, I’d say “oh! I can’t wait to hear, hold on let me make a note in my phone so I don’t forget to ask you about it when we talk later!”
anon says
We have a weird problem with our 7-year-old. Every couple of weeks, she gets sick for an evening. Like throws up once, conks out in her bed in the late afternoon, then wakes up in the morning feeling fine and like her normal self. I think it would be really unusual to be getting an illness that follows this pattern every single time. Is it possible that she’s just exhausting her little self and this is her body’s way of coping? And if so, how do we give this poor kid some margin? This weekend was busy-ish, but not crazy? On Saturday, we had people over in the morning and she had a soccer game in the afternoon, which definitely left her tired. After we got home from soccer, she vegged in front of the TV, played on her own, and went to bed at her normal time. On Sunday, we went to church but chilled at home the entire day.
Anonymous says
Does it happen after y’all go somewhere specific? This is really weird, but when I was in elementary school I took lessons at a different school one day a week, and I always got a migraine/felt sick after that. It stopped as soon as I stopped taking those lessons. We suspect it was a mold issue at the other school, but never got confirmation.
Anonymous says
Abdominal migraine popped into my head reading this. I don’t know much, but it might be worth looking into
Anonanonanon says
A couple of people in my family get these and I thought the same.
Walnut says
This was where I went instinctively as well. Are there any other signs of puberty emerging?
Anonymous says
Yup yup yup. Sounds like migraine. I say this as a migraine sufferer. Usually presents as abdominal migraine in childhood then the head pain once puberty starts. Call the ped and then find a pediatric neurologist.
Katrinka says
Have you explored whether there’s anything in particular she is eating or drinking on those days that might be triggering these episodes?
Anonymous says
This was my thought. Some kids will pass out from anaphylaxis not get hives (my daughter presents with both hives and a dangerous drop in blood pressure but low blood pressure not airway constriction isn’t how anaphylaxis is represented in pop culture so most people don’t know.
Anon says
My brother did this as a kid, and it turned out to be linked to him drinking Cokes. My mom initially thought it was related to him being too worn out etc., because it was typically after sports practices. But sports practices were also the only place he really drank Cokes.
Anon says
I would try to tie it to environments or foods first, but if it appears to be on a pretty regular cycle (calendar it), look at hormonal imbalances or parasites. You will probably need to wade into the woo woo to address either unless you have a really sharp and open minded doctor (odds are you do not).
Anonymous says
Parasites?!?! What parasites
Anon says
Kids can get all kinds of parasites. We used to de-worm kids on the regular and other countries still do, but for some reason Western doctors overlook parasites as a potential issue unless it is one of the super common ones presenting in the normal way (like pinworms). It is very easy to pick up parasites while traveling or being in close contact with other kids in daycare settings where they are all sticking everything in their mouth.
Anyway, parasite issues show up in predictable patterns timed to the life cycle of the parasite. So it is an obvious thing to consider if there is GI distress on a regular cycle.
SC says
Fun fact that I learned less than a month ago. In the early 1970s, my mom worked in a lab that identified parasites in human stool in Fort Worth, Texas. It was really common to examine stool for parasites, probably especially in kids, back then. She explained that now they run blood tests looking for indications of parasites, which isn’t as accurate. And there’s generally less consideration/attention given to the possibility of parasites, so it’s under-diagnosed. (How do I get to be 38 and not realize that the lab my mom worked in during her early 20s was examining stool for parasites?)
Anonymous says
Yep, giardia used to be super common in daycares 30-ish years ago.
Anon says
Stress can definitely do this. My best friend threw up regularly in middle and high school and saw a bunch of doctors and never got any diagnosis besides stress.
Anon says
Everyone gets stressed, and not everyone throws up. It’s got to be stress + some factor that makes stress manifest this way. And sometimes the other factor is a diagnosable condition, even if it wasn’t in your friend’s case.
Anon says
“Everyone gets stressed, and not everyone throws up” is a true statement, but does not imply that no one throws up from stress alone. Bodies cope with things differently, and what makes one body throw up may not make another body throw up. Sea sickness is an example of that, although it’s not a perfect analogy given the psychological component of stress. That said, I agree that in many cases there is something else going on and certainly worth having a doctor investigate further.
Anon says
This sounds like my 8 yo kid – happens about once a month. Stomach distress, headache (sometimes fever), exhaustion, in bed by 5, up the next day and totally fine. I wondered if it was some weird kind of intermittent long-covid (he had it in the fall, before vaccines were available) and his symptoms during Covid were very similar, especially the fatigue.
His doctors says this isn’t how long covid works, but I’m pretty sure we know almost nothing about long-covid yet so I’m going to continue keeping it in the back of my mind.
Anon says
I know multiple people with long Covid who have intermittent symptoms. Seems really weird for your doctor to definitively tell you it’s not that. I hope your kiddo improves.
Anya says
I went through this as an adult but without the throwing up – turned out to be anemia and a B12 deficiency. She may be too young for that though.
Anon says
B12 deficiency and gastritis are such an unpleasant vicious cycle! Definitely possible at any age though I don’t know how common it is.
Anon says
Need hive help! I was laying in bed with the kiddos this morning for cuddles and the kids started joking around about what kind of tattoo we should all get. No one in our family has a tattoo, so a total silly joke. They suggested a puppy, image of our cat, silly stuff. Then my seven year old said to get a tattoo of a p nis on a face to look like it’s going in the mouth.
I panicked. I managed to say that is not appropriate, private parts stay private. We have talked all about body parts and how babies are made, thanks to “Its Not the Stork.”
I asked if kids have been joking about stuff like this at school and mentioned that it was a joke when I was a kid, but didn’t get much info.
WTF?!! In some ways I really miss the pandemic days, while they were exhausting, at least I could keep my kids in a bubble.
Anon says
My philosophy is to not really react to stuff like this. They’re saying it to get a rise out of you, and if you ignore it then it won’t be fun to say anymore and they’ll stop. Honestly, I doubt they even know what it means, they’re probably just repeating something they heard at school.
Anon says
I can understand why you freaked out. It’s so hard to find the right response to these kind of things. You don’t want to make a big deal out of something that was just a joke, because what if that means that won’t come to talk to you about something that wasn’t a joke? But you also don’t want to just let it lie, because what if there’s something bad going on? I try my best to stay calm and even keeled with this stuff comes up, ask questions in a neutral way, and then revisit in a day or two. If they’ve forgotten or confirm it wasn’t anything big, I let it go.
If it continues to bother you, or if the answers you’re getting from your kid don’t seem satisfactory, please don’t be afraid to raise it to the school. My nephew had a Bad Thing happen when he was about 3 or 4, and the preschool did some investigating after several parents had called about their kids all making a similar weird joke that was actually about the behavior of one of the teachers’ aides. One call in isolation wouldn’t have meant anything, but several calls from parents resulted in an investigation / action.
Redux says
Yeah, this is where my mind went too. What if the joke is about something that happened to him? 7 years old is old enough to have a frank conversation about why the joke was not funny and that it’s important that your kiddo come to you if they hear or see anything like that. I think your reaction was fine in the moment, and I would follow up in a couple days for a quiet talk just the two of you.
Anon says
We haven’t done indoor playdates since last fall pre-Omicron. Numbers are VERY low in our area (lower than they were at the lowest point last summer) and we’d like to start inviting some classmates over. What’s the current thinking on mask etiquette? We don’t feel the need to wear them given how low cases are currently, but are happy to if it would make the other family more comfortable. Do we say that when we reach out to set up the playdate? School is masks-required indoors, masks optional outdoors and most kids don’t mask outdoors. Kids are 4 and 5, so a mix of vaxxed and unvaxxed, if it matters.
AwayEmily says
I think you just say exactly what you said here! We have just started doing play dates as well and generally the norm is that the inviting parent will offer whatever range of options they are comfortable with (eg outdoor, indoor with masks, or indoor no masks), plus vax status, then the accepting parent says what they’d prefer.
anonM says
This. While most people in our circles are comfortable in small groups maskless, I think it’s polite to at least offer. This is especially so if you don’t know classmates’ families well enough to know if there is, for example, a newborn sibling at home, pregnancy, underlying health issue, whatever. “Hey, not sure of your current comfort level with covid precautions – we’re comfortable maskless for this playdate, as adults are vaccinated and no one feels ill, but if you’d prefer masking up it’s no issue, just let us know!”
OP says
Yeah, this is my thinking that we don’t know their health conditions, etc. and I like this script. Do you say this when you first reach out about the playdate or after they’ve accepted? I feel weird sending such a huge block of text right off the bat.
anonM says
I’d do it the day before the playdate or so, just because I don’t want the awkward at the door pressure and wouldn’t want someone worrying about it ahead of time if they do have some underlying condition or whatever.
anonU says
I’d do it after the who/what/where details have been worked out. The main thing is to have the slightly awkward conversation before you actually meet because it lets you set expectations for your kids and yourself. If vaccination status is important to you I would also ask in a text in advance (after volunteering your own vaccination status). Getting back to regular socializing is really important and should be fun! I’d try to make all the difficult and stressful decisions beforehand.
Anonymous says
I would volunteer it when you invite them. If I got an invite, I would not accept without working out the details and it would stress me out to have to figure out how to reply in a friendly way that got the info I needed to decide. Seems like it’s not a huge text — “We’d love to have you & Will over tomorrow for a playdate. We’re all vaccinated and are good with indoors unmasked, but happy to mask or move it outdoors if you prefer.”
Katrinka says
We haven’t done masks at indoor playdates in over a year. They’re unmasked together at school all day, so to me it’s fine. The other kids are welcome to wear a mask, of course, but I won’t require my kids to (they can if they want to).
Anonymous says
You really wouldn’t have your family mask up for a play date to help another family feel comfortable ? When you gave no idea what’s going on in their family? Yikes. My family has someone going through cancer treatment right now and I would hate to think our friends would prefer to not let our kids play together than wear masks for an hour.
Anonymous says
I mean, I would be suggesting outdoor, obviously we are taking our own steps to be careful and only just started indoor masked play dates as numbers are down. I guess I’m reacting to what sounded like flat out unwillingness to take that step.
Cornellian says
I just try to host outside/at a playground/etc and make clear that we’re all vaccinated. I don’t really have it in me to make preschoolers spend more time per week in a mask, especially given low case numbers now.
OP says
Outdoors is definitely simpler, but my kid is an “indoor cat” who has been begging to have friends come and play at our house for two years now, so we’d like to try to make it happen while numbers are low. I realize some people may not be comfortable with it, but hopefully we can find some who are. Wearing a mask is a non-issue for her at this point, since she wears one at school and any time we go out in public.
Anonymous says
I think nearly everyone will be fine with it. “Happy to have the kids wear masks if you prefer.”
Anon says
We’ve been doing indoor unmasked play dates for over a year with several different neighborhood families (kind of happened accidentally – kids roaming in a pack around the neighborhood, then someone has to use the bathroom, and then they all sort of followed, we went with it) without any issues, if that gives some comfort. I have a child under 3, so un-vaxxed kids at home. No issues.
For school friends, it has evolved. Usually a first time guest will approach the house with a mask on, and I will put on a mask until I assess comfort level (though my kids are usually un-masked at this point). At the door, I have a quick conversation with the parent about vax status/comfort level. If they request, I will happily put my kid’s mask on, but I will also tell them that we are comfortable letting kids play without masks (and everyone eligible in our family is vaxed). 95% of the time, the kid’s mask comes off pretty quickly, the parent leaves, and that’s it.
Anon says
Arghhh just a vent. My city seems to have no outdoor weekend/evening swim lessons. All the outdoor pool swim lessons are taught during the workday. There are fitness centers that have Saturday lessons but they’re all indoors and we’d really prefer outdoors for Covid reasons, especially not knowing what numbers will look like in June and July. My 4 year old really wants and needs swim lessons this summer but I feel like there are no good options.
Anonymous says
Hire a private instructor
Anon says
Yeah that’s probably what we’ll do but it’s expensive and I was really hoping for her to get the added socialization of swim lessons with other kids.
Anon says
At age 4, a private lesson will for sure teach her more than a group one. So it may end up being better, if learning to swim is the goal! I did a series of private lessons with my 5 and 3 yr olds last summer and they learned a ton (way more than the group lesson the year before for my then 4-yr-old, during which he basically learned nothing). FWIW, my town has a wonderful outdoor pool complex but all the lessons year-round are offered indoors at the community center. I bet weekends and evenings are crowded pool times and they don’t have the space for lessons.
AwayEmily says
Don’t know if this would work for you but we asked for “money towards private swim lessons” as a birthday gift from grandparents. Everyone told us private would teach her a lot faster than group and honestly we wanted to deal with the logistics lessons for as short a period as possible (neither of us really loved carting her to the pool, waiting there, etc — our time is valuable too!).
Anonymous says
As a veteran observer of far too many swim lessons, I would say that group swim lessons provide much less socialization benefit than other group activities. They will get practice waiting for their turn, but will not really interact with the other kids.
anonM says
What about signing up for June/July indoors and if you end up feeling uncomfortable, drop it? You could also see the class size – ours is maybe 10-20 people in the pool total during the class, which is much less than any open swim. The biggest covid risk would probably be the changing rooms/passing numerous people on the way out before open swim, and you could theoretically mask for that.
NYCer says
+1. Though as another poster pointed out, your child will definitely get more out of the lessons as far as actually learning to swim if it is a private.
Anon says
I’ve had luck in varying degrees with the private swim clubs that pop up – Gold Fish Swim School, British Swim School, etc. They typically have the benefit of really warm pools, which really helps the learning process. Second place to look is county/city parks and rec classes. It may help if you post your location.
New boss stress says
I have a new boss as of yesterday, and I’m feeling off balance. I worked with my previous manager for 5 years and forgot how awkward and stressful the first few months can be as we get to know each other.
My toddler also cried for me at dropoff this morning which he hasn’t done in months.
In good news, I’m taking up riding lessons again. It is the one hobby I have just for myself and I’m super excited about it.
anonM says
No advice, but I would also feel stressed by that after 7 years with the same boss. Keep in mind new boss also probably feels some stress about it. Enjoy riding!
EDAnon says
I am sure it is stressful. With time, you will find a rhythm! My boss’ boss is leaving soon and k will go through something similar. It just takes time (is what I tell myself!).
Anon says
Random win of the day: I’m 9 months postpartum, we’re headed to a beach vacation at the end of April and I found some cute swimsuits off Amazon that make me feel good!
Anon says
are any of them tankinis? if so, please share!
Anon2 says
Not the OP, but I have had great luck with Lands End separates. I got a v-neck, kind of empire waist/not super fitted tankini top and I’ve worn it 6 months pregnant, 3 months pp, and also as a non-pregnant person and it’s looked and felt great throughout
Anon says
The ones I’m keeping are all one pieces (shockingly) but I did try RXRXCOCO’s tummy control tankini and it was nice. My boobs are way too big for it so it’s getting returned but I was a DDD prior to pregnancy/breastfeeding so it might work for you if you’re a more average size.
Anon says
i just sent out an electronic invitation for my twins birthday party. they are turning 3. we are having the type of party where the number of guests doesn’t really matter, but I specifically sent the invite to the name of the kid in their class, and then assumed they would show up with a parent or two (if they are an only child and both want to come). some of their classmates replied for multiple kids. next year my twins will be in different classes and i would never just take both to a birthday party, even if it is just at a playground, when the invitation is sent to one kid and if for some logistical reason i had to, i would ask the parents if it is ok. do people just assume siblings are invited too without asking?
Anon says
Yeah, I think parents assume siblings are invited to things where the host isn’t paying per guest. I have an only child, but we had a park birthday party this year and I expected some siblings to show up.
OP says
good to know. what if you are giving goody bags or special kinds of food or a craft activity or something? i mean i would of course always have some extra, but not necessarily so much extra cause then it would just go to waste. in our case the party is in our backyard, which is large enough for the kids in their class and a parent or two, but not large enough for every single kid to bring their siblings (which could easily be an additional 12-15 guests)
Anon says
Siblings don’t get goody bags in my view. That’s a treat for invited guests. I make sure we have extra cupcakes. I think if your backyard isn’t big enough you could specify no siblings but I highly doubt every kid would bring a sibling so you can probably manage.
So Anon says
Agree that if it is not paying per kid, then I will bring my other kid along. I will generally let the host know that I will have my other child with me. I also bring snacks and drinks for my kid who wasn’t invited.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It was extremely common for the pre-elementary school birthday parties around here to have siblings attend too. A lot of the time, it was a 3 year old and baby/1 year old for example, so little kids all around. I’ve seen parents start to specify around Covid times that parties are limited to the class, but again this has been a recent thing. And it seems like for elementary up, it’s just the kid’s friends and one parent (or drop off) and no siblings.
Anonymous says
It seems to be the assumption that parents and younger siblings are invited. I was actually shocked when I showed up to drop my daughter off at a birthday party for the first time and was expected to stay (we opted out of non-family parties until K).
Anon says
+1. I solo parent often, so I’m often stuck between a rock and a hard place. If parents have to stay then the sibling will have to tag along. I usually try to keep sibling separate from the party if at all possible (like at a park or a gym, we’ll go to a separate section and I’ll bring different snacks/juice) but there’s only so much I can do. I’ve tried a million ways to give a heads up that sibling is coming but will stay separate, and they always end up sounding like I want sibling invited to the party, or that I want another parent to assume responsibility for the invited kid.
I try not to go to too many non-family parties, but that’s the single best way to get to know other families with young kids in our area. (And hence meet people who I might eventually be able to use as quick babysitters for birthday parties or other one-kid-only events.)
Anon says
I would also never just rsvp a sibling, unless it was an infant. But we also don’t really do friends parties for kids under elementary school…at most we’ve had two other families that are family friends and it was more of a hangout. (However, if you’re at a public playground you can’t control who goes and I might bring along a sibling to play and get fresh air, too)
Mary Moo Cow says
I definitely do NOT assume sibling is invited. I have 2 kids at the same school, so theoretically if a parent is searching the directory for my email they will see I have 2 kids. Therefore I assume the invitation is only as addressed. I’ve shown up at parties with 1 kid and a parent is surprised that I don’t have the other kid, but more often, I don’t get any comments about bringing only the invited kid. For a parents stay party, we always invite the sibling. Call me rude and old fashioned, but while I don’t mind if you ask when you RSVP if you bring a sibling, I will happily agree but if you just show up with an extra kid, I’m going to be annoyed because I didn’t count on that. And don’t even get me started on not sending an RSVP!
Anon says
i’m with you. i’m also old fashioned i suppose in that if i wanted to invite all the kids i’d write “smith family” as opposed to “jane smith” on the invitation. and yes, everyone should rsvp
anonM says
Definitely, if the sibling is an infant. Otherwise idk.
So Anon says
Masks have been off in our schools for exactly two weeks. Both kids (8 and 11) are home sick today – not covid, just a nasty cold. While I feel ok today, I can feel that beginning to be sick feeling in the back of my throat and a slight headache. I’m so out of practice with illness sweeping through our home. Thoughts on things to prep for the next several days in case I’m less able to function?
Anonymous says
Gatorade (for me), and chicken soup or other homemade soup ingredients. I like to lean into the NyQuil for 1-2 nights because why not. Any more nights than that and I feel groggy. We also use puffs plus lotion because my nose will get SO red with anything else.
Anon says
Hi. Masks are still on in DD’s class and yet we’re just getting over her third illness in as many weeks. Things that have helped:
– making sure I have nonexpired motrin and tylenol for both kids and adults on hand as well as preferred adult cold medicine
– find your thermometer if you do not have one handy, I also like the pulse oximeter too because I can monitor heart rate as an additional factor on hydration levels
– know what DD’s current weight is so I know her dose
– Gatorade in preferred flavors, pedialyte (not that DD has deigned to drink it yet) and other “fun” drinks (often sprite, ginger ale, or juice boxes and popsicles) to make sure everyone is staying hydrated.
– know where your humidifier is and if it needs to be cleaned or needs a new filter before use
– make some soup to put in the freezer (or have canned on hand) so you can just reheat if you feel hungry.
– think about freezer meals or no prep meals (peanut butter sandwiches?) for the kids (or you) to eat.
– I restocked my tea selection with some fresh tea (white earl grey is amazing) and dug my tea kettle out of the cabinet (I rarely drink tea unless I am sick)
– make sure laundry is done before you are out for the count so no one is on their last set of undies or towels on the day you feel like even being upright is too much.
– decide on a disinfection or containment strategy if applicable (DD is a barnacle at 4, so ours is just prepare for your turn, but my mother definitely quarantined us as kids). I still try to wipe down door knobs and faucet, cabinet, toilet handles a few times a day with a disinfecting spray or wipe.
anonamama says
good tips!!!! thanks for sharing. will file some of these away. OP – hope you feel better.
Anonymous says
Dear spouse,
What part of “I am going to be on a videoconference with the state supreme court so don’t come in here for the next two hours” don’t you understand?
/rant
Anonymous says
Oh noooo! Much commiseration. We have both had our share of interrupting the other’s zoom calls during the pandemic, but this sounds really rough.