8 of the Best Books to Help You Talk to Kids of All Ages About Sex

Talking about puberty, sex, and sexuality with your kids can be daunting, so we’ve rounded up several books to help you talk to kids of all ages about sex. It can be tough to start the conversation, but it’s important to start talking about it before they end up getting their info from unreliable and age-inappropriate online sources (or misinformed friends). Readers, do you remember how your parents told you about sex? What are your best tips and resources for how to talk to your kids about sex?

Depending on your child’s age, learning style, and comfort level, your level of engagement with them can range from the two of you going through a book together page by page to simply handing over a book to a curious kid who’ll read it from cover to cover. (If they read a particular book by themselves, you can always prompt conversations about the topics later — or at least bring them up by sharing information.)

Obviously, every family is different in how they handle talking about sex, but my advice as a mom of an 11-year-old include is to start off being open and straightforward very early on, even though it might feel awkward. That includes using the correct terms for body parts and talking about gender identity/expression and sexual orientation in age-appropriate ways.

{related: how did you decide how many kids to have?}

Having straightforward and frank conversations while your kids are young creates a foundation of openness that will it easier for them to approach you with questions and problems — and for you to broach more complicated topics as they get older. So, hopefully, if your child has a medical issue “down there,” like a rash or a UTI, they’ll be more likely to mention it to you right away, and if they hear something confusing about sex, they’ll feel comfortable going to you to get answers. Beyond that, sexual education can help prevent sexual violence, physical dating violence, bullying and harassment, and suicide [source].

{related: five great books for working moms}

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8 of the Best Books to Help You Talk to Kids of All Ages About Sex

Books for Kids Aged 4-6

I’ve heard this book, It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends, recommended so many times over the years — and I bought it for my son when he was six. It’s a great tool to make sure your kid knows the basics of conception, pregnancy, and birth. The book provides straightforward, age-appropriate, illustrated explanations (with the help of two animal cartoon characters) about body parts, where babies come from, and so on. It also shows diversity among types of families.

This book is the first one in the age-by-age series that also includes It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (age 7 and up) and the frequently challenged and banned book It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (age 10 and up).

Books About Puberty for Kids Aged 8+ and Tweens

The Care & Keeping of You (published by the American Girl company) has been a really popular book about puberty for girls for a long time (it’s been around for 20 years!), and in 2017, the boys’ version, Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys, was published. (Part 2 of The Care & Keeping of You is written for girls aged 10 and up.)

I bought the boys’ book for my son when he was 8 (but I can’t quite remember if I gave it to him right away). Although I was hoping he’d flip through at least some of the book by himself, he learned about puberty in fifth grade sex ed, and we’ve talked about various body changes and hygiene issues since then. (Writing this post is actually reminding me to remind him that he has the book in his room! It has a ton of great info.)

By the way, don’t forget to make sure your kid knows about both the female and male changes that take place during puberty, no matter which ones they’ll experience themselves.

Speaking of gender, two great gender-inclusive books about puberty are Puberty Is Gross but Also Really Awesome (for kids aged 10 and up) and Vaginas and Periods 101, a pronoun-free book for preteens.

Books for Teenagers About Sex

The author of this book, Heather Corinna, founded the fantastic sex-ed website Scarleteen way back in 1998. (Note: As of 3/29/22, my antivirus program is blocking the site due to likely riskware, so we’re not linking to it for now.) In 2016, Corinna supplemented the site with S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties.

The book, which is written for all genders, covers relationships, consent, safe sex and contraceptives, gender and sexual identities, self-image, sexual and emotional health, sexual abuse/assault, and more.

Here’s one more useful resource for teenagers: an Oregon library system’s list of “inclusive puberty books for the modern teen.”

P.S. For the parents of teenagers, Heather Corinna has a new book called What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You (review here).

For All Ages

The following resources aren’t about sex but can help explain concepts like gender identity to kids. Two are from from the Human Rights Campaign’s bullying-prevention Welcoming Schools website: (1) Defining LGBTQ+ Words for Elementary School Students and (2) Definitions to Help Understand Gender and Sexual Orientation (for older kids). And Planned Parenthood has an article to help parents talk to preschool-age kids about gender identity that includes a two-minute video (for parents, not kids.)

Readers, please share! What have you found to be the best books to help you talk to kids of all ages about sex? If your kids aren’t quite old enough to broach some of these topics, how are you planning to start when the time comes?

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