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My first fancy work event in years is on the calendar and my look needs a refresh. I’ve had my eye on this blush for a while and now I have a reason to try it!
I’m a huge fan of cream blushes — I love their foolproof application, dewy lit-from-within look, and skin conditioning ingredients. This one from Merit checks all of those boxes and then some. It’s a lightweight balm that adds a gentle flush of color to your cheeks or lips. It contains Vitamin E to nourish your skin, and it’s a “Clean at Sephora” product formulated without certain questionable ingredients.
It’s also vegan, cruelty-free, and comes in recyclable packaging.
Merit’s Flush Balm Cream Blush is $28 at Sephora and is available in five radiant shades.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
Some Monday positivity – it was mother’s day here. My husband went and got flowers, my son had drawn me a picture and wrote out my name and his name, we went to brunch at a cool cafe (converted shipping container with a sea view), walked along the beach and ate ice cream. Such a simple but delightful day.
Anon says
Lovely. Glad to hear you had such a nice day.
Anon says
Wasn’t it also time change day in Europe this weekend? Putting Mother’s Day on the time change day seems so unfair to moms!
Cb says
Yup! We were fine this am. I think we wore my son out outdoors all day (he concluded the day deciding he felt sick and the only thing that would make him feel better was spending an hour doing lego whilst sitting on my lap). He crashed by 8pm fake time last night, and was only slightly grumbly about waking up at 7am.
Anon says
How much one on one time do you spend with each kid? Trying to find ways to spend more one on one time with my older child (because the younger one takes all the attention) but find it incredibly hard with a busy work schedule/kids activities/etc.
Pogo says
Does the younger one still nap? That is a way for me to get some 1:1 time with my oldest on the weekends. We also just divide and conquer where one parent takes 1 kid each for special 1:1 time.
Otherwise, we have our nanny come on weekends to watch the younger one so we can do things like attend our older son’s sports event and take him out to lunch after without having to divide our attention with the little one.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same here on younger’s naps and divide and conquer. Husband typically takes one kid grocery shopping on Saturday mornings and I spend time with the other one. We also have 1 on 1 time with the older one when the younger one naps in the afternoons. On weekdays, there basically is no 1 on 1 time, which is too bad because I think the older one would really like it after a long day of school, but it’s very difficult as one parent is cooking and the other has to watch both. We do separate baths/showers and bedtimes though, so there is that.
We did start a tradition of taking the few days off before school starts in September to spend time with our older kid. I think he really enjoyed that last year (We went to Canobie Lake Park – Pogo, you probably know it!).
Anona says
I hear this, and with 4 kids, this will only get harder as my two babies get older. We also do a combination of getting extra babysitting for the little kids on weekends (I keep telling myself this won’t last forever…), driving to kid activities, and 10 minutes of solo time before bed. I use the solo bed time as my carrot to get them through a bedtime routine. Lights out/no solo parent time after 8:30, so if they don’t get their shower done, teeth brushed, bathroom straightened up by 8:15, they know they won’t have solo time. It is always exhausting, and I (usually) really, really want to tag out and just zone out in front of the TV, but it is when I connect the most with my angsty tween, so I try really hard to keep up the routine.
Mary Moo Cow says
I don’t spend as much 1:1 with either kid as I would like. This seems to be easier with really little kids who still nap and older kids (I see parents of tweens and teens doing dinner out or a weekend trip, but not parents of 6 year olds.) Mine are 6.5 and 4.5, so no naps. The most 1:1 time we get with them is taking each child to a birthday party where the other one isn’t invited. Are your kids at the same school? If not, can you pick up older kid and spend an hour or two at a park or a bakery or going to a craft/book/toy store before picking up the younger one? Divide and conquer seems to be the best, and take turns so each parent gets some time with each kid.
Anon says
Bring the older kid on errands with you. I have three and one is a needy baby; when I run to the grocery store, the library to return books, etc I try to take one of the older ones with me. It’s not the most amazing focused time, but it is quality time because we chat in the car and work together to grab the items we need. And sometimes there is a special snack or treat that makes it into the cart.
I also like grabbing one of them and taking a 1:1 walk around the block. It takes at most 15 minutes, but when things are getting hairy or sibling bickering is high, it helps to take one outside and have that time to reconnect.
Anonymous says
This is what we do. Quality time doesn’t always have to be recreational.
DLC says
My kids are 10, 5 and 2 and the ten year old definitely gets less one on one time. She gets more time with her father because he takes her to basketball practice and reads to her at night while I out the little ones to bed. Lately I’ve been planning things with the oldest when she has in service days because the other two kids are still in daycare- sometimes my husband will join, or we will meet him at his office for lunch. I would love to do some overnights with just my oldest this summer, though. She has told us a couple times this past year that she doesn’t get enough attention so I’m trying to see if there are more every day moments when she can have solo parent time.
Anon says
I have a 4 year old and 2 year old. I’m a big fan of the “divide and conquer” approach on weekends, especially since my kids have very different physical abilities and attention spans right now. My husband typically takes the oldest for a few hours on a weekend to go to a “big kid” park or fly a kite at the beach and I’ll hang with the toddler, and then we trade the following weekend. My oldest is also in afternoon preschool a few days a week, so I have an hour or so with just me and the youngest.
I also find that my oldest loves quality time but doesn’t need a huge quantity of it. I’ve been putting my youngest down to bed first (vs. originally putting them down at the same time) and then hanging with my big kid for an extra 10-15 minutes at night for an extra stories and snuggles. That seems to be enough for her at this age.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Tips on teaching my kid to ride his bike? Background: My older son will be 6 soon and prefers his scooter to get around/isn’t terribly interested in riding his bike. His bike still has training wheels on it, which we’d like to remove this spring/summer. I know balance bikes are recommended to teach kids to ride their bikes quicker, but we didn’t do that (we might just not have been aware of these/just went with a bike with training wheels). So do we just take the training wheels off and let him go to practice, with many knee and elbow pads? I have a feeling he’ll be scared and not want to do it, but I feel like it’s a skill we want him to have sooner rather than later.
Anonymous says
Why the rush? I’d go with zero pressure. The bike is available, ride whenever you want, keep the training wheels on as long as you want.
Alanna of Trebond says
I would do it quickly. My parents gave me zero pressure and I never learned how to bike and neither did my sister. I finally learned it college and it was very painful.
Aunt Jamesina says
I think you an keep dedicating time and encourage improving bike skills without giving the pressure of a deadline, though. Learn by the end of summer or else… what?
This reminds me a bit of when I could swim, but refused to swim in water over my head or in a lake where I couldn’t see the bottom out of fear until I was 10. Lots of pool time and swim lessons with an understanding instructor who didn’t force me got me there. I dug my heels in any time I was told I “had” to.
Anonymous says
Are there any classes near you? My son did a class with REI and did much better than I think he would have if DH or I tried to teach him. They use the pedal removal technique.
Anonymous says
A parent jogged next to kid, held the bike for starts, sometimes held it while kid biked, and talked through brakes and people. Easier at the local high school track or park than standard streets with dogs. But one day we did back and forth a on our block for an hour and it clicked.
It wasn’t that big of a deal, I think one kid was in kindergarten and one in first when they got it. The first grader was much faster on a scooter so wanted to scoot. I bribed with m&ms to get them on the bike for a set amount of time. (Not long, maybe 15 minutes?)
Also, I’m not a jogger, so that was entertaining. But it was a quick process. We are in the city, so learning to bike with strollers and dogs and kids is a needed skill to walk through.
Anon. says
This.
We never used training wheels, but held the bike steady by the saddle, jogging along. Then, we let go for one second, then two, etc. We didn’t use any other protection except a helmet, of course. FWIW, training wheels can lead to a bike falling over especially in narrow curves, so we never thought this was much safer?
Learning how to get on the bike, starting to pedal, and stopping were different processes, but our kid basically learned how to bike within 2 weeks at age 4. Admittedly, this happened in spring 2020 during the height of lockdowns, so we had plenty of practice time. For the first few weeks after mastering the skill, we still jogged along within arms reach.
Try to practice every day for 10-15 min instead of infrequent large chunks of time.
Also, falls will happen, just make sure that you are not freaking out yourself. I’ve noticed in my peer groups that in families where parents run to the kid as soon as a minor fall happens, and make this accident a big thing, kids are not learning to bike without training wheels well into school age.
We had luck phrasing it like “ugh, that looked like it hurt. That’s what happens sometime if you’re just learning how to ride a bike, happened to me, too, …”, consoling briefly, focusing on how strong and brave of a rider kiddo is, and getting back on as soon as possible.
Mary Moo Cow says
A friend reported better success when she had her daughter learn from the bike shop where they bought the bike. My sister and BIL are teaching their kids by taking the new bike to the school parking lot on the weekends and letting the kids ride around (familiar place, big empty lot).
FWIW, we haven’t forced our almost 7 year old to try her bike without training wheels because she, too, loves her scooter. From talking with other families in the neighborhood, we’re all hoping peer pressure of seeing friends zipping by on big kid bike will entice them to want to learn. Good luck!
Anonymous says
We used training wheels for a while and had raised them a bit so my son was balancing at least some. When we practiced without them, I found it easiest to hold HIM, not the bike, and run along with him. He could tell me to let go when ready. There is also a handle type thing that attaches to the bike some people like. He was also comforted by practicing “falling” – putting his foot down if he lost his balance – first.
Anonymous says
PS – I think this was the video I watched to get some tips – https://youtu.be/40n56DmQ7L4
PPS – do not do what I did and fail to retighten the frame after you remove the training wheels. I could not figure out why the chain kept coming off and it ruined our whole first attempt.
Anonymous says
PS. this was the advice we got from a former competitive cyclist…. if you hold the kid they now they won’t fall but they still can feel the bike wobbling. We did this at age 2 on a balance bike so easier then for the kid to feel like you can actually stop him from falling… but still. Strongly recommend holding the kid not the bike.
Pogo says
awww so lovely!!
Pogo says
ugh meant to reply to Cb.
Anon says
My 19 month old loves the “NPR Sesame Street Tiny Desk” because it’s just 12 minutes straight of songs. He doesn’t have attention span for regular sesame street episode non-singing parts. Any suggestions for similar videos/shows that are mostly all songs/singing?
Anonymous says
Cocomelon sing a long if you want to feel constant despair. You’ll probably give in eventually but in the meantime I was able to make PBS great performances work for a hot minute.
Lily says
Cocomelon, if you can stomach it.
Anonymous says
Little Baby Bum. So bad for adults and so perfect for toddlers. It’s on Netflix.
Anon says
+1 My kids were 2.5 before they had attention span for any sort of shows or movies, but adored LBB and 20 minutes of that was key for things like getting a toddler to sit still with a nebulizer mask.
GCA says
Does it have to be a show? There are compilations of Laurie Berkner kids’ songs on YouTube. Elizabeth Mitchell is good too.
Anonymous says
I love Elizabeth Mitchell, especially the album You Are My Little Bird.
Anon says
so my kids watched cocomelon and baby bums after we’d watched and rewatched every episode of daniel tiger and then i read an article about how those shows are meant to be addictive and tried to get them off of them. i only use them now for things like plane travel.
Anon says
+1 Stay away. They are baby crack, with many of the same negatives
Anon says
I wonder about this – my 2.5 year olds discovered cocomelon in December, after my son had surgery. They have a normal attention span for 2.5 year olds, which is to say not long — but can seriously watch Cocomelon for hours. Actual hours. What is in the show that makes this possible? And, is Cocomelon going to be the next “SpongeBob Square Pants?” (remember when that show was blamed for all kinds of troubling behavior because it was found to be objectively harmful for kids’ developing brains?).
I have a hard time with it – Cocomelon definitely gives me 30 minutes each night to cook dinner in peace and we let them watch it on weekend mornings when we need a break (or if they have a particularly tough transition to a new babysitter), but I also wonder if I’m doing longterm harm because I seriously do not understand how it captivates them so?
Anonymous says
It switches camera angles a lot! And the bright colors. But the switching camera angles on the scene is an addictive quality. We really try to avoid “fast paced” shows.
Anonymous says
My parents swear by Mr. Rogers as the opposite of this! So calm, soothing, and everything is normal paced. Probably why my kids find it so boring.
Anonymous says
Mister Rogers designed his show this way because he believed it was better for kids than the loud, jangly, flashing alternatives. My daughter loves it, but she is a kid who is prone to sensory overload.
Anon1 says
This is where we are with peppa. My 20mo loves it. And it gives me time to cook or drink a cup of coffee in somewhat peace. We typically do some in the evening and first thing on weekend mornings.
The week his nanny had Covid and he was stuck with us while working, he definitely lost interest in an hour or two and was back to wanting to play outside.
Anon says
My kid can watch “good” TV like Daniel Tiger and Bluey for literal hours too, and could from the age of about 2. We were just on a 10 hour flight and she watched TV the entire time. There is nothing else she can do for anywhere near that long. I don’t stress too much about it; we’re pretty low screentime when not traveling.
Anonymous says
My friend with a toddler noticed that her toddler’s behavior was getting worse and worse the more cocomelon he watched — it was one of his first words and he would bang his head on the floor if denied cocomelon. They had to quit cold turkey and it was rough. Friend was using it to get through mornings alone with 2 kids, and mornings are definitely harder without it, but kid’s meltdowns stopped pretty immediately. Our older kids (6) would happily watch it forever as well, so I definitely buy that there’s something addictive about it.
Anon says
On Roku (and I assume on other streaming devices) there is a free Sesame Street app that plays short clips from the show. A lot of them are songs, and as a bonus, you can sort by character. This is was our MVP at that age when my kiddo was devoted to Elmo and was mad if he wasn’t in the scene. YouTube also has some good collections of just Sesame Street songs.
Anon says
Truck Tunes by Twenty Trucks on YouTube. They are amazing – basically music videos about trucks and the songs are very clever and catchy. You can choose individual trucks or longer compilation videos (30+ min)
Pogo says
Truck Tunes and Truck Tunes 2 are on Prime as well. We listen to the album in the car everyday. I find the songs actually catchy and enjoyable, and it gets my kid in the car everyday when I ask “what truck are we listening to?”
buffybot says
At the same age, my son loved the music videos from the OkeeDokee Brothers – you can play them back to back on youtube or maybe also buy them somewhere? The rare example of children’s music that doesn’t make my ears bleed. We even tolerated a few in-person concerts.
So Anon says
For those of you with local grandparents, how often do you see the grandparents? Also – did that change as your kids got older and have friends and activity schedules? Do you spend any one-on-one time with your (or your partner’s) parents without the kids? Just trying to get a sense of what other people do.
Anonymous says
One on one time with my father without my kid is rare, but sometimes we will go get a coffee together. I try for us to see him weekly, and prioritize it above activities. I just don’t think activities are terribly important and the one grandparent they’ve got is.
Anon says
Mine still divide their time between here and the place where I grew up (they’re here about half the time) so we see them more than we would if they lived here full time. But we see them a lot. They pick kiddo up at school most days (often early), we usually have dinner together at least a few nights every week and our kid goes to their house for sleepovers on the weekends. We don’t spend any time with them without our kid, but kiddo sees them a lot without us. Kid is 4 and hasn’t been in any activities because of the pandemic but is starting some soon. It doesn’t seem like it will really change anything except we might need to pick her up earlier after sleepovers for Saturday morning activities.
We had our issues when I was growing up but my parents have been really awesome about boundaries now that I’m grown. Their place is a mile from ours but they would never drop in unannounced or expect us to cancel plans to see them, which is why this works so well. I don’t really have local friends and it feels harder to make connections with people in this weird world, so having my parents nearby has been good for my mental health and marriage – they fill that role of adults to talk to regularly who aren’t my spouse.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My parents live within 30 minutes of us. They usually come over on Sunday mornings to take the kids out somewhere so that we get a break. They also come by for birthdays and other holidays. My dad watches our older son two days a week after school. I’m not sure how this will change as the kids get older – I imagine they won’t keep taking the kids out on Sunday mornings forever as the kids will develop other interests and activities. I’m sure they will start attending their sports or other activities instead. I really don’t spend much time with my parents alone now as my kids are little and take all the attention! That will probably change in the future too, once they become more self-sufficient and we don’t have to shout over them at home.
My in-laws live in separate states far away from us, so we see them more sporadically.
Anon says
My in-laws live 25 min away and we see them usually weekly. My parents are 1-1.5 hours away and we see them approximately bi-weekly. Sometimes in-laws visit is short – they’ll pick up kids from daycare early on Fridays, take them to the park and then we all have pizza (or something easy). Right now this frequency works for us as our kids are young (under 3) and due to COVID we haven’t had too many plans anyway.
Mary Moo Cow says
My in-laws are local. Kids see them twice a week for afterschool care, and about once every over month for a weekend day or sleepover. Over the summer, kids are with them two full days a week and not as much on the weekends. Kids are 4.5 and 6.5 and this has been roughly the arrangement for the past few years, but I expect it to change as we add in kid activities. I’m hoping to add in some after school activities next school year, so that probably will mean kids would see them once a week after school and every other weekend or so. Grandparents would be invited to games and recitals. Grandparents are always invited to the kids’ birthday parties, mother’s day, father’s day, etc. celebrations. DH sees them for lunch about once a week, but I don’t go. We occasionally have them over for dinner or meet out for lunch. My FIL would see the kids and DH every day, but everyone else seems pretty happy with the arrangement we’ve found through trial and error.
anonM says
We see them a lot, but for a few reasons. My mom watches the kids one day during the work week, and has since they were born basically. And, she often covers sick days and stays one night when DH travels for work. She also is a widow, and my sibling lives out of state, so she does see us more than basically anyone else. I like to think it is very mutually beneficial for all our sanity, and while this is a lot, it is what works given the circumstances. In laws are separated. See MIL fairly frequently, especially in the summer (they live 1.5 hrs away but near a lake), and FIL mainly for dinner about once a month. I imagine it staying pretty similar as kids get older, but with my mom doing some school pickups instead of the 1 full day like it is now, and some of those dinners being a “meet us at xyz event and grab pizza after.” Both of us spend little time with our parents without the kids — in fact, my mom’s Christmas gift was tickets to play with me, sans kids.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Currently, my FIL is living with us (which has been great) due to some unforeseen circumstances, so my kids see him everyday, he’s part of the routine, etc. Eventually he’ll get his own place not too far away (that’s the plan for now), but we told him not to rush. DH makes sure they go spend some QT weekly.
My mom is local, and we see her almost weekly, kids spend the nights there, etc. I often spend the night at my parents house with the kids so I get QT with my side of the family.
Caveat that I’m South Asian (DH is not) and this type of family closeness is pretty standard AND both my Mom and FIL do not bring any baggage or severe boundaries to navigate.
Anonymous says
My in-laws live 20 minutes away for half the year. When they are in town, we see them as a family maybe once a month. My husband goes out to lunch with just his dad about once a month too. They have a lot of kids and grandkids, travel a ton, and are generally very busy.
SC says
My in-laws (2 sets, DH’s parents are divorced and remarried) are local.
– FIL stops by most weeks, either after work or on the weekend, and usually stays about an hour. He always asks if it’s a good time, but the visits are relatively spontaneous. Sometimes, Kiddo drops everything to interact with FIL, and sometimes he doesn’t, and the adults talk. DH’s step-mom comes with FIL about once a month. We occasionally plan an activity or meal together, but less often than we should. We also have some type of family event, like a birthday party or holiday gathering, with that side of the family about once a month. DH spends solo time with FIL pretty regularly–lunch, occasional sporting events, events for social clubs they’re in together. We occasionally spend time with FIL and his wife without kids when we’re at the same special events, but we don’t just plan to go out for a regular dinner with them and leave our kid behind.
– MIL’s time with us fluctuates dramatically. We can go a month or two without much interaction, then see her every weekend for a month or two. Some of that is a natural ebb and flow of her relationship with DH, and some of that is the ups and downs of her husband’s health. When we do see her, it tends to be for an entire afternoon and evening (sometimes spending the night)–and we go to the beach with her one week every summer. DH has lunch with her occasionally. If she spends the night at our place, or we all spend the night at her place, there’s adult time after Kiddo goes to bed.
– I don’t plan one-on-one activities with any of my in-laws, but as Kiddo has gotten older and more independent, there’s more opportunity for one-on-one conversations during longer hangouts. For instance, during our Hurricane Ida evacuation to Destin, I had multiple, hours-long conversations with DH’s step-father, which was more than I’d been able to speak with him since Kiddo was born.
Sleep says
Not as often as you’d think! They have a weekend place a couple of hours away and are there most weekends. We don’t find their weekend place to be very comfortable for us (not toddler-proof) and prefer to stay local on weekends so we can see friends (and we just don’t want to pack up the car, sit in traffic for hours there and back, etc). We probably see them a couple times per month. Maybe that will increase when they are both retired, or maybe not because I could see them spending even more time at their weekend place and/or in a warmer location for the winter.
Anon says
A couple of hours away isn’t what I’d consider local. I think you see them a lot, given the distance.
Sleep says
Their main residence is around 30 minutes away from us. They regularly travel to a weekend house that is a couple hours away from where we and they primarily live.
Anon says
Ohh I see, I read that totally wrong. Sorry!
anon says
Very little. My parents are local but my dad is always working or traveling with his gf. My mom will not come over to our house to see them and prefers we come to her smoke-filled house. She uses a walker and cannot be left alone with the kids. So we see them maybe once a month, probably less. My in laws who live 2 hours away actually make more of an effort than my parents. Just trying to offer a different perspective. I’m jealous of friends who local grandparents who get childcare from it, but that’s never been our situation so I’m used to it.
Anon says
We see my FIL about once every other week (he comes to the house to play with DD on nice afternoons). DH takes DD to see MIL and FIL at their house about once every three months. MIL and I have not been speaking for about 9 months after a series of incidents and she is not welcome in our house. DH also finds her difficult which is why that’s so infrequent even though they live 20 minutes away, although he “talks” to her every day (often twice a day) by putting the phone on mute and making sympathetic noises while she talks.
My parents are about a 2 hour drive away, and I try to get down to see them for a weekend (or they drive up for a day trip) once a month or so. DH comes only if it is a longer visit or a major holiday.
We typically do not spend time with each others’ parents independently without kiddo. I would spend time with FIL because I like him, but it’s hard for him to get away from MIL. There are a few activities I do where it is me, DD and FIL (because MIL has mobility issues and DH is not really into walking) like some park visits and the holiday lights walking tour. DH has on occasion done things with my parents but it’s usually on vacation (like they all went to a ball game while I stayed home with one of my sisters and DD, DH has gone golfing or out to lunch with my dad a few times while I hang out with my mom and sisters, etc.)
Anon says
My parents are recently local (moved here a couple years ago) and we see them once a week, for a standing brunch at their house on Sunday. They’ll also watch the kids periodically during school breaks and so forth. I don’t spend any 1:1 time with them and don’t want to – we don’t actually get along that well. They moved here to be close to the grandkids (without giving us any heads up that they were planning to do so) and since then it’s been a battle to set appropriate boundaries. I didn’t ask for and don’t want them to be incorporated into our daily routines – weekly, and on an occasional additional basis with the kids, is enough for me. Even with limited contact they will ignore my wishes on screen time, candy, and even nominal behavior correcting … the kids are an absolutely terror whenever they come home.
Anon says
Kindly, based on what you’ve shared here about your mom I’m not sure what others do is relevant. You need to draw the boundaries that work for your family, not worry about what is “normal.”
Anonymous says
Yup
Momofthree says
Going along with this- for us, what is “normal” has varied dramatically based on the relationship that we, the parents, have with the grandparents.
My husband and his mother are not really on speaking terms right now, so our interactions with her are much less than they used to be. He’s also come to question her reliability around some safety issues, so that has also severely curtailed the interactions that she has with the children.
Our kids are still a bit younger than So Anon’s, so this hasn’t been an issue for us yet, but if it turns out that the grandparent was bad-mouthing the parent (i.e., her son) to our kids, that might also be a reason for us to curtail them spending time alone with the kids.
We view it as our job to set safe boundaries for our kids- our parents can agree to those boundaries or not see the kids. That may sound harsh but we are very flexible on everything except physical (and emotional) safety.
Anonymous says
+1
Anon says
My in-laws live 30 minutes away. When the kids were little and my FIL was healthy, we would see them about 2X a month (but they usually babysat during that night). Now we’re super busy and my FIL is not healthy (so they don’t leave the house) and it’s more like 1X month or once every three weeks. I think if they were healthy, it would still be more like once every three or four weeks – we are just gone all the time. We hardly ever see them one on one (unless they have a specific ask), but I sense that my SIL has lunch with my MIL on occasion.
anon says
Who else feels extremely overwhelmed by work and parenting? Has been a tough stretch working at work for DH and I, young kids can be a lot sometimes, and then weekends feel very packed with kid activities and whatnot. I am looking on ideas on adding the best self-care possible and ideas on outsourcing to help get through a tough stretch.
Anona says
More babysitting. I posted here about 8 months ago in the same boat, asking how to survive with toddlers and big kids with activities. The very honest, somewhat firm collective response here was to hire more help. Leave the harder kids at home with a sitter so you aren’t running everyone ragged. I resisted, but honestly, that’s the only way we are surviving. Taking a few nights off of bedtime has made me a much better, more patient parent at bedroom.
Anon says
I recently outsourced laundry and regret not doing it sooner. I pay about $35 a week and it comes back beautiful and folded. I used to do a load of laundry per day!!! It’s an easy (cheaper) way to outsource.
Anonymous says
We also outsource laundry and it helps a lot. We do our own bath-towels because they’re big and just one load (the place charges by pound). They match kids socks! And pick up and drop off. Highly recommend.
Anon says
what is your childcare situation and kids ages? easier to offer suggestions with a bit more context
anon says
If you can work it out with your spouse/partner, it helps to have one night a week that you’re completely off. When I have one of those evenings, I spend it vegging in our room, reading, listening to podcasts, going to bed early, etc. I find that far more restorative than yet another activity outside the house. And then I feel better for the rest of the week.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Kids ages/activities? I would re-calibrate those and then think of what can be outsourced. DS #1 is in soccer and swim on Saturday mornings. We don’t do the birthday party grind, UNLESS it’s either a) A friend of ours kid or b) Someone I KNOW my kid is friends with in class, and this just started at age 4.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I should also add – I think what you’re feeling is reasonable given that the work culture in the US was built assuming the workweek is 40 hours long and 1 person is staying at home to handle household/child rearing. Add 2+ years of pandemic living, spotty childcare, no “normal” social outlets…some weeks I feel like BeyonceMom, other weeks I realize I’m just treading water. You’re not alone. Big hug.
Anon says
Me! Plus DH is recovering from a car accident so I am doing 100% of anything that requires any physical activity for about 6 months now and we have another 12-18 months to go. We have not been able to find a regular babysitter or part time nanny, which would be the real solution.
Things that keep me from going crazy:
– only one planned or required outing on the weekends. This will be soccer starting in a few weeks and currently is nothing. That would be birthday parties, playdates with friends, going out to eat, etc. We may choose to do additional spontaneous things if we feel up to it, but only if we feel up to it in the moment.
– all the takeout and freezer meals. DH picks up McDonald’s twice a week for DD and I have zero left to give.
– if I cook, it is a hello fresh style meal that takes 30 minutes or less; if we like the HF menu I will do that for a week here and there too.
– weekly housekeepers who also fold laundry and wash and change sheets. I do 3 loads of mine and DD’s laundry on the weekends and dump them into a basket to be folded on Tuesdays. I often wash towels every other weekend (I fold those) and the housekeepers wash and fold the sheets while they are there. DH folds does his own laundry. I otherwise do not clean unless there is a clear and immediate need (massive spill usually).
– involve DD in brunch cooking on weekends. She thinks it is fun bonding time, I like that she is learning to cook and making the memories I wish I had (I am self-taught because my parents do not cook) and it means there are only 2 meals per day to worry about, not 3! She also will help load and unload the dishwasher as well (she’s 4).
EDAnon says
I have found I really enjoy engaging my kids in chores, like cooking and emptying the dishwasher. They are 3.5 and 5.5. It takes a little work to get them started then they are so helpful, enthusiastic, and cheerful. My husband cannot stand the transition to get them started and wants to play with them until whatever chore is done. But I actually enjoy doing it with them more than doing it alone. Plus it is good for them and is time spent together.
ElisaR says
yes anon, i feel ya. i have no ideas.
Anon says
We are moving in the summer and I’m really anxious about switching daycares for kiddo. I am sure we will find a great one eventually but I am really worried about how long we will have no childcare…do I take a leave of absence at work until he gets off a waitlist? Or do people find a nanny until they get off a waitlist? Not that getting a nanny is easy either…thoughts? Advice?
Anon says
Would your work let you take a leave of absence? That seems much easier said than done. We got a nanny in this situation, although it was not a great experience and we have all been so much happier with daycare.
Pogo says
Are you moving because of your job (or your spouse’s)? When people in my company re-lo they get a pass for a couple weeks around the move, not even official leave of absence, just people cut them a lot of slack.
Also not clear to me how far you are moving – is it the next town over or in another country? That really changes things.
EDAnon says
I assume you’d get a nanny or find an in-home with space. I am hugely in favor of group care for many reasons including having multiple adults. If I were moving without care lined up, I would probably get a nanny for short-term. That should be easier in the summer.
EDAnon says
Also get on waitlists now.
Balance bike? says
What age did your kiddos start using a balance bike? My LO is 18 mos, and is SO jealous of the older kids in the neighborhood riding their bikes up and down the street. I feel like waiting until her fall birthday would be too late, since we’d miss most of the good weather, but it’s hard to imagine her very short little legs on a bike already.
She’s lost interest in her Radio Flyer ride on car (except to stash treasures under the seat, lol), so I don’t think taking that outside will satisfy her.
Cb says
Get that kid some wheels! I’d recommend a Micro Mini 3-in-1, it has a little seat on it and my son loved it at that age. Or one of the tiny balance bikes. They make the wooden balance bikes, but I think they are really hard to steer.
Anonymous says
Thanks, that looks awesome!
Anonymous says
Can she use a cozy coupe? A red tricycle? We put mine on the tiniest of bikes right around their 2nd birthdays but I think at 18 months their legs would have been too short still.
Anonymous says
I can’t believe I didn’t think of a cozy coupe. I LOVED mine back in the day. She might be more interested in a tricycle since that looks a little more like what the bigger kids are riding. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Go for the bike — we got my (very short and short-legged kiddo) a balance bike somewhere around 20 months for similar reasons. He didn’t get really good at it until after 2, but if you check stepover heights carefully to get the right bike, and put kiddo in the right shoes, they still have a lot of fun and some limited success even when tiny.
Anon says
A scooter would be fun at that age. My kids have loved their scooters from age 1.75 to present, but the balance bike didn’t really get “fun” until around 3. You could look for a very small balance bike and get her both, but she probably won’t be able to zoom very much right now.
Anonymous says
How about one of those tricycles with handles a parent can push like a stroller? Those were popular in my circle for around that age.
anonamama says
Get the bike! I had originally wanted the Strider bike, but someone handed one down to us that I really love. Korimefa 4-in-1. Sounds like it will work now and for the next few stages.
FP says
Mine started at that age on a Woom 1 and started riding the next size up bike with pedals / no training wheels / hand brakes by age 3.5. Highly recommend the Woom.
Anonymous says
We got the B. duck baby balance bike for 18-24 months. Strider at age 2 but it took DD a few months to get comfortable. At 2.5 he can easily lift up his feet and balance down hills.
Anonymous says
Thanks, all! This is super helpful!
Anonymous says
We started a balance bike at that age for my oldest. Not a problem and he loved it!
Anonymous says
we started on balance bike at about 20 months (based on it being decent weather again). Get one with an adjustable seat height. (Not the wooden one)
Anonymous says
We started at 2, but 18 months is fine if your kid can run.
Don’t do a scooter if you can help it. They’re so easy it’s impossible to get a kid off of one. My daughter got a scooter at 5.
Momofthree says
Does anyone have recommendations for a good kids table? Our hand me down Melissa & Doug table just bit the dust and I’d like to avoid buying the set new (which comes with two chairs that I don’t need). It’s mostly used for the kids to eat breakfast at so looking for more of an eating table and not necessarily an activity one.
Anonymous says
We have and really like Ikea Sundvik. The table is sold separately from the chairs. So you can buy just the table. We bought a table and two chairs years ago, and they’ve held up amazingly well.
Anon says
I’m a little unclear on the difference between an eating table and an activity table, but we got one on wayfair by Wood Designs. They offer a variety of heights and sizes so you can pick what you need and don’t come with chairs
Clementine says
Facebook marketplace. The dream is if you can find an in home daycare which is closing but I would look for something cheap and all wood on there.
Anon says
We had the Ikea Latt table until about 3.5, and this fall we switched to the Pahl desk (which is height adjustable). She uses it for crafting and coloring, but also holds the CD player and she eats on it from time to time. We found the right sized chair for the Pahl on amazon.
AnonATL says
We got a great pottery barn table and chairs second hand on Nextdoor. It’s very sturdy. My 180lb husband comfortably sits in the chairs to color with our son.
octagon says
Looking for some feedback on what is normal for hiring a babysitter. Do you have a meet and greet before you actually hire someone? Only hire known sitters through friends? I reached out to a couple on sitter city and one gave me a bad vibe at a meet and greet, and the other has since ghosted. I desperately want to have a list of 3-4 reliable sitters to cycle through but it’s exhausting to try to find one. Kiddo is 6, in northern va.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I posted on our town’s FB babysitting page and got two good hits. I had them come do a trial run with both of us still home for a couple of hours. Luckily both worked out, and now we feel comfortable leaving the kids (almost 6 and 3.5) with the sitters while we go to dinner or elsewhere.
Anonymous says
Where was your kid in child care before elementary? We use daycare teachers. Expensive but super reliable and they know their stuff.
Mary Moo Cow says
We just hired a part-time summer sitter who I hope will become a regular sitter. She’s in the graduating class at my kid’s school and she’s the big buddy to one of my kids. I wrote her a note asking if she would be interested and crossed my fingers. Since she’s a young teen, we asked her to bring her mom over to meet us and see our house before she committed. My next stop was going to be the neighborhood FB page and friends and co-workers with children. Other options are: childcare staff at your gym or YMCA, daycare (if allowed by your daycare), childfree teachers at your school, local colleges (my law school kept a babysitters list for faculty and would give that out to alums if the sitters agreed.)
Anonymous says
We may be on the extreme side of things, but we don’t like to leave the kids alone with anyone unless they are known to us previously (so daycare teacher, older child of friend), or hired through a service. In our area we have a few different types of sitter services. I would think that Northern VA would have similar services.
Option 1 – pay set amount of $ to service, they provide you with list of vetted sitters. The service we use only refers sitters that have passed a background check, have been utilized by folks in their network with good reviews, and have a certain number of years of service. Then when you need a sitter you call folks on the list and arrange babysitting.
Option 2 – service that has own list of sitters, you sign up with service and let them know when you want a sitter, and your preferences/ family needs. They find you a sitter for your time, generally but not always you pay the service, they pay the sitter (after taking a cut). There are two main companies that do this in my area. One charges a small yearly fee. The other does not charge a yearly fee, but takes a higher percentage of hourly amount. Both of these services in my area have an app – but it’s really just a form to request a sitter.
A friend in Atlanta said they have a similar sitter service like Option 2 that sounds like more online dating. Parent puts in the date and times for sitting, then parent gets several profiles of sitter and gets to pick who parent wants. Then the sitter gets to look at parent profile and approve the job. Honestly, I go back and forth between thinking this is the best thing ever, and thinking it is slightly creepy?
We have have more luck with Option 2, but we have used both types services. I also would like to build up a list of sitters – but I think covid made that really hard! We have NOT had luck using sitters from sitter city, or care. I am sure there are nice folk on there, but I would rather pay a service to do the background work for me.
Bette says
I’ve found babysitters from three places:
– former nanny now babysits from time to time and we also use her roommate
– a friend’s current nanny also babysits for us.
– posted on the neighborhood board and actually a local mom responded and now babysits for us periodically (early in the morning some weekdays and the occasional weekend date night post bedtime.)
For people that were not known to us, we checked references and did an in-person meet and greet, which we paid them for.
Pogo says
I call references, and then do a trial run. I’ve also used daycare teachers and a coworker’s college aged daughter.
3-4 reliable sitters is a bit of deep bench, tbh. I feel like just keeping track of 3-4 young adults’ schedules would drive me bonkers.
DLC says
I’m also in the DMV area, and I’ve found college-aged sitters by posting on QuadJobs. Some universities also have job boards. (UMD College Park used to have one, but they moved to Quadjobs a few years ago.)
FVNC says
+1. Over the years we’ve tried sitters through care . com and sitter city, but what has always worked out best has been finding sitters from local colleges.
Oops says
Okay, I’m clearly a terrible parent, but we have an app where you can match with sitters and see reviews from people they’ve sat for, and if they have enough good reviews and a good profile I use them (try to use people that friends have used and reviewed – that shows up in the app). We’ve never done trial runs or anything for babysitter (did for nanny).
The plus side is that my kids are super chill about being left with a babysitter. Also helps that they’re older now so clearly my seven year old can tell me how things went.
Have also used old nanny, kids from the local high school (pre-covid)…
Anon says
do you mean bambino? no judgment at all, but for some reason that app makes me super nervous.
Sitters says
Sounds similar to UrbanSitter, which we’ve used. I like that it includes background check information and also shows how many families have hired the same sitter repeatedly.
There’s also a “groups” feature that lets you see if people in your neighborhood/at your preschool/whatever have used and liked the sitter before. That’s not been very useful to us yet, but it may be once our kid has started preschool this fall.
anon says
I am doing IVF right now. The first two days of injections were really no big deal (I couldn’t even really feel the needle going in) but last night they really hurt a lot. Same injections, but way more painful. Is that normal? Anything people found effective to make them hurt less?
Clementine says
Friends swear by something called the Shot Blocker.
Anonymous says
My son is a loyal fan! He was so upset when he learned the COVID vax site did not have them. I should get one.
Anonymous says
Move the spot you’re doing it, ice it, and massage.
So Anon says
I found that some were truly not painful and other times, I hit a nerve and wanted to jump out of my skin. Any reason you can’t use numbing cream or an ice cube to numb the area a bit?
Anon says
I took the advice that my navy corpsman brother gave me – stick in the needle fast (like you’re playing darts), and then inject slow. This worked well for me and I never did ice or numbing cream or anything.
anon says
Make sure you’re not injecting into a bruised area.
Pogo says
Sometimes they just really sting – that was what I remember as being the most painful. I never used ice or anything, but tried to switch around so not injecting the same area more than every other day. The trigger shot was the most painful but that’s only 1x a cycle. Good luck!!
NLD in NYC says
Are you doing the progesterone shots? If so, try a 5% lidocaine cream. Apply 30-45 mins before injection. You can cover with a transparent film dressing like tegaderm (or press n seal wrap in a pinch). Made it so much more manageable.
Anon says
At least for the IVF part, it depended on the medication for me. Ganirelix didn’t hurt at all but somtimes menopur would really sting and other times it wouldn’t. I also made sure to switch sides each time I did the shots so I wasn’t doing in the same area (as someone noted you could be hitting a bruised area). Good luck though!
anon says
I find it’s 100% random. I’m sure there’s some science behind it, but after 2 years there still seems to be little rhyme or reason to the pain I experience. Some PIO’s don’t hurt and others are unbelievable pain. Gonal F has consistently never hurt. Triggers aren’t fun to look at but don’t tend to hurt, except when I’m on a long injection cycle (>3 weeks) and I start to run out of real estate to inject in to. I’ve found that ice packs and gentle pressure/rubbing after injection tends to help when it hurts. Good luck, this is the effing worst.
Anon says
Many daycares prohibit their teachers from babysitting on the side.
Anon says
Meant as a reply to the 11:45 anon on the babysitter thread.
EDAnon says
Mine doesn’t though! So it’s worth asking.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We are thinking of changing preschool/daycare. One of the potential options is The Goddard School. I’ve generally heard nothing but great things, but that was when we lived in the DMV – any other thoughts from other regions?
Kids are 1 and 4, the latter’s enrollment is TBD pending our public Pre-K applications. TIA!
Pogo says
Goddard in my area (greater Boston) is seen as pricey but good; our nanny actually used to work at Goddard and she said they had really high standards for the teachers and it was quite regimented (like they dictated to the teachers what time they had to do x activity, rather than giving them curriculum flexibility). I could see that potentially as being franchise specific, or maybe it is part of their corporate ‘brand’. But in general it sounded like they took the quality of care they provided very seriously.
Goddard Parent says
My toddler is at a Goddard in the Boston area. LO is thriving there, although we’ve had to deal with the same daycare disruptions and annoyances as everyone else during the pandemic (decreased hours of operation that haven’t quite returned to normal, etc.). We “looked” at several local daycares via Zoom and in person and this one seemed like the best by far. It’s the only daycare we’ve used though so I don’t have much of a basis for comparison. A few friends also have their kids at other Goddard locations and are happy with them too. Definitely expensive, but slightly less money than Bright Horizons and cheaper (at least for one child) than a nanny.
Anonymous says
In the SEUS. We have generally heard better things about Goddard than about Bright Horizons.
FVNC says
Our daughter’s first daycare was a Goddard in suburban SEUS. Good school and environment, seemingly happy teachers and admins with relatively low teacher turn over for a “chain” center. My kids have been in 8 different centers (we move a lot!) and I’d rank this one below our two university-affiliated centers.
FVNC says
Didn’t finish my thought — below our two university centers, but above the other “corporate”/”chain” centers our kids have attended.
Anonymous says
That seems to be roughly the consensus around here: university > JCC > Goddard > other chains
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thanks, all! This is helpful.
Childcare costs - survey says
How much do you pay for childcare and what does it encompass (ex: nanny, daycare, private elementary school plus nanny for after-school care, etc), how many children do you have, and where do you live?
Anon4This says
This is top-of-mind for me because we just did our taxes.
$32K/year, 2 kids, 1 and 4, private preschool/daycare. Live in the inner loop of a major Texas city which is one of the largest cities in the country by population.
Anon says
I hope this comes across in the spirit in which it is intended, which is kindly. You’re more anonymous using Anon or Anonymous rather than this fairly distinctive handle with the number in it.
Anonymous says
Currently we pay $1690/month for one 3-year-old in daycare. When my next little one arrives and I’m done with maternity leave, we will be paying approximately $3700/month for a 3.5-year-old and an infant. We live in a MD suburb. The prices here are out of control.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Cosign.
DH and I lived in the DMV when we had DS #1. We realized our childcare costs (45 hours a week of daycare) there for 1 kid is 75% of what we pay now for 2 kids in a MCOL major city. Too high either way, but agree it is out of control in areas like the DMV.
Anecdotally, I also knew a LOT more women who worked PT in the DMV…like, plenty of women in our apartment building were miffed when they saw the luggage caravan of me, DS #1, stroller, and the various bags (DS bag, lunch bag for me, work bag with laptop, pump bag) just getting into the apartment lobby at 5:45pm…maybe it was in part because of the cost of childcare? It never really made sense to me, and clearly I’m still thinking about it.
Anonymous says
We pay just under $2K per month for one almost 3-year-old in daycare. In DC proper. (That’s thankfully less than it’s been, when they were charging infant prices for all of the classrooms because DC had required everyone to have 8 kids or less per classroom earlier in the pandemic. Then it was $2500 per month. And I had two kids in daycare then.)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Now: Approx. $2100/mo. for two kids, one in full time daycare, one in K and aftercare 3 days/week. Camp for the summer will be about $5K. Occasional babysitters at $25-27/hr. Prior to Kindergarten: approx. $3600/mo. for full time daycare x2. Greater Boston.
Anon says
Midwest college town that is generally LCOL. University daycare (best in the area) is $13k for one preschooler for 50 hours/week (we use 35-40 hours normally). It was $18k for infant care.
Anon says
And we have no other paid childcare. We’ve never even had a paid babysitter. My parents babysit for free frequently.
anon says
60-70k a year for a FT nanny in DMV. We pay 40 hours at $x per hour and then ~10 hours at $1.5x. We also pay on the books so have to pay the associated taxes and payroll service. Our two oldest are in public school without aftercare and the youngest stays full-time with the nanny. Next year, the baby will be in 2 days x week, 3 hrs. x day preschool mostly for socialization which will be an additional $5k. We also spend ~$3k for summer camps for the two older kids so they can be with friends.
Anon says
Four kids. I am probably going to get eviscerated for this, but in case others want to know a higher data point: in a major Texas city we have a full-time nanny who we pay $26/hour, which with extra babysitting rounds up to about $70k per year, $25k for private school for oldest, $10k for five year old’s school, $3k for three year old’s program. So over $100k per year. Probably around $110k?
HHI is right at seven figures, so this is doable, but it’s also ridiculous. It’s something we prioritize. We don’t spend much on restaurants or travel (clearly, that’s not our phase of life!) but we spend a ton on help/school.
anon says
About 2,100/mo for toddler and infant care at a daycare center, plus paying extra for their many “break” days/sick day sitter (younger family member we pay). Midwest.
Anonymous says
About $75k a year, which is just shy of my gross salary and far above my takehome. This includes daycare for two ($5300/month) and after school care and 12 weeks of summer camp for an elementary schooler. Our daycare is expensive even for our HCOL area but we like it and it’s very convenient. Aftercare is about $350/month (sliding scale based on income, we’re at the highest tier which is a relatively low threshold for our neighborhood), camp is $500/week.
Date night babysitting is extra– we pay $25/hour and go out about 5 hours at a time roughly every three weeks.
Anon says
Roughly $45k per year for a nanny for 36 hours a week of care for our 4 + 2 year old in Southern California. We’ll be giving her a raise to roughly $50k when I start a new job in May. If we need her extra during the week and go over 40 hours, we pay 1.5 times her hourly rate. We also give cash bonuses for holidays, birthday, etc. that add up to an additional $1,500-$2,000 over the course of the year.
We also pay on the books, so with employer taxes and payroll company costs, it’s well over $50k per year. We also pay $7k for 9 hours of private preschool a week for our oldest (it will be like $17k next year when both kids start part-time preschool – yikes).
I adore our nanny and she’s truly part of our family after over 3.5 years with us. Part of me can’t wait for us to be able to lower our childcare costs and have more financial breathing room, and the other part of me wishes she’ll stick around until the kids go to college.
Boston Legal Eagle says
On your last point – at least until the kids are in middle school (maybe even high school?), I’d suggest keeping your nanny around as there are lots of holidays/early releases/summers to cover with young school age kids!
Scilady says
2 Children – 1.5 and 3.5, greater Boston area. Daycare at 40 hours/ week is $5225. Expensive! When we lived in Philadelphia metro area at younger ages we paid $2663 for two at 55 hours/week.
Anon says
One infant – daycare 3x week = $800/month ($10k/year) in a small Midwest town. We have (free) family help for the rest of the time. Haven’t had to hire a babysitter yet, so no idea what the going rate is around here.
Anonymous says
Well, this conversation is making me feel a little better about our $1650/month 8-5 preschool/daycare for our 3 year old, which is one of the most expensive in town (PNW).
anon says
$22K a year, private daycare 7:30am to 5:30pm, 2 kids 1 and 4, Wichita
Anon says
DMV. 1 kid under 1. We have a full time nanny who is amazing. It’ll come out to almost $60K a year I think with bonuses and taxes since we pay on the books. We pay for 40 hours a week and then 1.5x for 10 additional hours a week.
Silicon Valley says
$2400/month for a phenomenal daycare/preschool and $1100 a month for an adequate after school program for elementary that also covers school breaks other than summer break. Summer camps for elementary are around $600/week on average.
Anonymous says
We pay about $35K/year total for an in-home daycare for our youngest, private pre-K for our oldest, and a part-time nanny to fill in the gaps. The nanny is the most expensive – $23/hr on the books, plus mileage – but if we have lighter workweeks she doesn’t bill as many hours, vs when one of us is travelling she might be as much as the pre-K tuition in just one week if she has to stay to cover bedtime every night.
EDAnon says
We are in the Midwest – MCOL city. We have two kids that are preschool-age in FT preschool. We pay $3,600 per month. They go between 40 and 45 hours per week. We are in the most expensive childcare bracket for our community – only a small number cost more than we pay. Due to inflationary adjustments, we have paid about the same since my youngest was an infant.
anonM says
Siblings question. 4 yo son, 2 yo daughter. I think DS is going through a growth spurt or otherwise going through something, so I’m trying to be patient with some of his actions the past week (LOVES swim class, but this week gets there and refuses to go in the water for half the class; weirdly hungry at odd times, etc). But, what’s I need help with is DD. She’s a gem to him most of the time. Ex – brings him a stuffed animal when he cries or is in time-out. Today, he threw a fit about her sitting on the chair he decided he wanted, and when I went to talk to him about it, she just gets out and tells him “your turn.” Honestly, she was didn’t look upset about it. That said, I don’t want to feed into a relationship where he becomes overly rigid and she just accommodates all of his whims. She does sing to him “STOP ASK OKKKK” (thanks Daniel Tiger) if he goes to grab anything from her, so she doesn’t seem to be afraid of him. I’m probably overreacting but given their sibling order/gender, I do think it is something to watch (aka make sure I’m not asking her to give in to him just so it’s easier for me in the moment). Anyone else deal with this with their kids/own sibling?
Anon says
I think this is pretty typical 4 year old and 2 year old behavior and probably something they’ll grow out of as they get older.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Wait till she’s 3 or so – she’ll talk back to him and annoy him too. I had a similar dynamic with my kids where my older kid is the more sensitive “demanding” one and my younger is more easygoing, but now that they’re 3.5 and almost 6, they’re more on each other’s level, if that makes sense. I wouldn’t worry about a 4 year old acting irrational – intervene if it gets physical (but again, your little one will likely start pushing back soon).
Anonymous says
If she’s singing “STOP ASK OKKKK” I think she’s doing very well at advocating for herself at this age.
Anonymous says
Yeah there’s no problem here