Open Thread
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Pictured above:
Maternity black dress, $39, at Dorothy Perkins / Helmut Lang Voltage draped Micro Modal cardigan, $140 / VIONIC with Orthaheel Technology Milan Casual Flat, $45 (was $129) / Tasha ‘Owl’ Infinity Scarf, $28, Nordstrom / Collection XIIX Packable Fedora, $24 (7 colors available)
Above, some of our first weekly recommendations for maternity style! As explained in our eBook, A Guide to Dressing Professionally While Pregnant, comfortable, supportive shoes are a must, as is sun protection like hats — and a great way to get more bang for your buck is to buy non-maternity items like the Helmut Lang cardigan or the infinity scarf (which will do double duty as a nursing cover if you choose to nurse). Get the book for free by signing up for our newsletter!
Hi ladies! So, I realize I’m probably overthinking this, but would love your thoughts. How do you “come out” and announce your pregnancy at work? I’m almost 11 weeks and will need to so this sooner or later (probably sooner, since I can’t button my regular pants). But I’m not sure how to handle it. Go around and tell everyone individually? Just out with it at a staff meeting? I would love to avoid making a big deal out of it — I feel like it’s a personal issue and don’t really want a lot of attention or an extensive discussion of pregnancy issues. I’m friendly with my colleagues, but not really friends, and there are about a dozen of us in my office. Fwiw, I will rotate out of this office before my maternity leave, so that doesn’t have to be part of the conversation. Would love any tips about how to handle this is a non-awkward way.
First, I am so excited about this new site! I am a daily reader of Corporette, but very rarely comment. I plan to be a more active part of this community.
Second, I think many of us had the same concerns you do, RR. I chose to announce my pregnancy right at the end of my first trimester. I told the head of my practice group and my immediate supervisors and let others find out through the gossip mill. Since you don’t have to worry about discussing maternity leave with this office, I think this gives you more leeway to wait longer to tell if you want. I think most supervisors won’t make too big of a deal about it when you tell (especially if they are men)–my supervisors congratulated me, asked how I was feeling, asked about my plans for maternity leave (not applicable in your case) and then moved on. If you don’t want to tell everyone yourself (although you should be the one to tell your supervisors), is there someone in your office that you are close to that you can tell and ask them to subtly spread the word?
One thing I would suggest not doing is waiting until it is really physically obvious. A few of my co-workers didn’t tell their supervisors until after they were visibly showing and several of the supervisors commented on the fact that it was weird they were obviously pregnant and hadn’t said anything yet. Just my thoughts.
I shared it with my manager first and told her she should feel free to share with others. She tacked it at the end of a weekly team email with a note of congratulations. That way I didn’t have to feel like I needed to share with everyone individually and risk leaving someone out. It wasn’t as much of a big deal. I had several colleagues who were not included on that email and I shared with them when I saw them.
First, I am so excited about this new site! I am a daily reader of C*rp*r*tt*, but very rarely comment. I plan to be a more active part of this community.
Second, I think many of us had the same concerns you do, RR. I chose to announce my pregnancy right at the end of my first trimester. I told the head of my practice group and my immediate supervisors and let others find out through the gossip mill. Since you don’t have to worry about discussing maternity leave with this office, I think this gives you more leeway to wait longer to tell if you want. I think most supervisors won’t make too big of a deal about it when you tell (especially if they are men)–my supervisors congratulated me, asked how I was feeling, asked about my plans for maternity leave (not applicable in your case) and then moved on. If you don’t want to tell everyone yourself (although you should be the one to tell your supervisors), is there someone in your office that you are close to that you can tell and ask them to subtly spread the word?
One thing I would suggest not doing is waiting until it is really physically obvious. A few of my co-workers didn’t tell their supervisors until after they were visibly showing and several of the supervisors commented on the fact that it was weird they were obviously pregnant and hadn’t said anything yet. Just my thoughts.
Thanks everyone! Glad to know it’s not just me, and I really appreciate the stories. I think I will go with the office gossip idea — we conveniently have someone who will be perfect! Agree with not waiting until it’s visibly obvious … I’d rather head off the speculation before it starts.
Likewise, regular Corpor*tte reader but new commenter – excited about this new site and hope to participate more!
Apologies in advance if this is too specific of a question for this forum, but I am starting back to work next week and will be pumping every day. The baby usually nurses on one side per feeding; should I try to mimic his feeding pattern and pump on only one side per session? Or should I be pumping both sides to keep my supply up (since it often goes down when moms go back to work?)
I am at the stage where we have been thinking about trying for a long time and now we have everything in order to start trying. We’re both excited, but I’m looking for resources (books, blogs, websites) that give it to me straight – no fearmongering, no BS about nursery planning, no judgment.
I’m looking forward to having this website as a resource for work-related stuff, but any other suggestions are appreciated.
I’m a first time mom and sr associate at a big firm. I’m up for partner in a couple of years and have been told I am considered the strongest candidate in my class, which is great. But after several months back at work from maternity leave, I find myself wondering when this is supposed to get easier.
I really enjoy having a career, but I dread leaving my daughter. We have a wonderful nanny who my daughter loves, and I’m working a part time schedule so I have a bit more time at home. I’m in the office 9-5:30, four days a week — not bad. And yet, every Sunday, I feel depressed and sad thinking about the week to come and the time away from my baby. I don’t doubt that she is perfectly fine without me. But I MISS her!
I keep thinking this will abate, but it’s been 6 or 7 months and still going strong. Am I crazy to consider staying home? Are there other women who experience this and keep working?
TIA.
Does anyone have suggestions for good, high quality maternity suiting? It seems there is a huge void in this particular area. I have come across some “suits” that were expensive-ish ($250+ for a single-sized jacket & pants set, or blazers ~$150+) but were of astonishingly awful quality: cheap material, badly sewn, lumpy lining, no buttons on the sleeves, no back vent…Has anyone found any of good quality for the price? I only considered suits that were meant to camouflage my bump, rather than flaunt it, but Destination Maternity (and its associated stores) and Figure8 were both no-gos for me. I ended up going up a size in J.Crew. So frustrating! Suggestions?
Question: does anyone have a suggestion for an affectionate name for the baby to call a grandparent’s spouse? My mom feels strongly that she wants them to be grandma and grandpa. Given that I grew up without a dad and her spouse has done very little to build a relationship with me over the past 12 years, I am opposed to that. I’d be open to “Uncle Jim,” which she doesn’t like. Any other ideas?
Tacking on to the conversation above about how to announce pregnancy at work… how/when do you discuss maternity leave? As in, I’m close to being ready to tell my boss and coworkers I’m pregnant (currently 13 weeks) but don’t have a 12-point plan for maternity leave. I know I want to take one and roughly how long it will be, but in terms of actual logistics (transitioning duties, etc.) I feel like it’s way too early to try to nail that down. Did folks handle this as two separate conversations ( 1) announce pregnancy 2) plan maternity leave) or did you do it all in one fell swoop?
So I’m not a mom but planning on tying to be in the next year or so. I’m also considering taking a position that will require much more travel than what I do now. The position would be super fulfilling from a professional/personal standpoint (and much better than my current soul-sucking position), but will I regret this if I end up with a little one? I’ve never been one to “lean out” before absolutely necessary, but I want to know if I’m being naïve thinking I can make it work. Or will I be a better mom because I’m happier on a day-today basis at work (that’s what I like to think).