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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 124 Comments · by

Everyone Thursday: Knit Blazer

Everyone· Recent Recs

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One-Button Jacket: Olivia Moon Knit Blazer This blazer is a perpetual favorite at Nordstrom. It’s available in regular and petite sizes, it’s handwashable, and it’s on sale for $58. Huzzah! There are three color choices (black, gray, and navy) in sizes XS-XL. Olivia Moon Knit Blazer Here’s a plus-size option. (L-3)

Sales of note for 11.28.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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Comments

  1. Iron says

    Our pediatrician gives us handouts at every well visit with developmental milestones, things we should be doing, etc. At my son’s 4 month checkup, the handout stated EB babies should receive iron supplements starting at 4 months. I did some research since the doctor didn’t actually mention it during the visit, and it seems this advice is fairly controversial, and that anemia in exclusively BF babies is pretty rare. Does anyone have any insight on this recommendation? Did you give iron supplements or skip them?

    • Anonymous says

      I didn’t do supplements. I think you should call your pediatrician if you have a question like this — probably largely depends on your diet and baby’s health.

    • LegalMomma says

      the only supplement we gave was vitamin D, and we were pretty lax through the summer when our daughter was outside a lot, but were much better through the winter.

      • Closet Redux says

        Same for us, and we were told it was only because we lived in new england (so, less sun in the winter). I understood that iron supplements were only if they tested low (or maybe preventatively if you yourself test low or maintain a vegetarian diet or something?).

    • MDMom says

      My ped started recommending them at 6 months. I did not give them and my baby tested low for iron (well, hemoglobin) at 9 months. He was eating fortified baby cereal at 6 months and mixed formula/bm at 8 months so I thought he was getting enough. We started the vitamins with iron at 9 months and his hg was much improved at follow up 6 weeks later.

      If I have another kid, I will start giving them at 6 months, at least a half dose.

      They smell/taste disgusting. I mix it with food.

      • MDMom says

        I will add, we did delayed cord clamping and I have never been anywhere near anemic myself (thus my surprise when baby tested low). I think it has more to due with baby’s growth rate and who knows what other biological factors you will never know about. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal either way…They will test iron at 9 months so you can correct , though obviously it’s better to never be deficient in the first place. I think the internet concerns about too much iron in the gut etc are also not really founded in science. You are unlikely to hurt your baby by giving supplements. Science of mom has a lot of good posts about it.

      • October says

        +1 My EBF baby tested very low at 9 months and we’re giving him drops now. I’d read somewhere that breast milk doesn’t contain iron, but babies are born with a “store” of it that lasts through about 6 months; after that, baby needs it through food. (I could have that wrong, though — haven’t consulted Dr. Google lately.)

        • quail says

          This happened to our kid, too (tested low at a year after being EBF and starting solids at 6 months). The six-month-store reason was what our pediatrician told us. She also told us that calcium inhibits iron absorption – our kid eats so much dairy that my suspicion is that even if he was getting the RDA through fortified cereal or whatever it just wasn’t enough when eaten with dairy. We gave him the supplements at night and didn’t give him milk after, and his levels increased but he still needs a multivitamin with iron at 17 months. We try to feed him iron rich foods, but as he refuses to eat meat that means mostly cheerios and other fortified grains with attempts at spinach and pinto beans thrown in with varying levels of success.

    • Betty says

      We give an iron supplement to our oldest after he tested low. To be honest, the iron supplements taste disgusting (we mix it with hershey’s syrup to get our 5 year old to take it) and have some not fun side effects. I would ask (and potentially test for it) before going down that path.

    • layered bob says

      my ped said definitely not until at least 6-7 months, and then only if the baby is not regularly eating a variety of iron-rich foods (small amounts are ok, just frequently). We do keep an eye on it because I had an emergency C (and thus couldn’t do delayed cord clamping, which can prevent anemia). But so far she’s been fine.

      my ped does strongly recommend vitamin D, especially if my vitamin D levels are low (which they are). We do vit. D drops every day during the winter and whenever I remember (seldom) during the summer.

    • anon says

      I can’t remember well but I don’t think our ped recommended them until a year; whenever it was, we started giving them. Part of the ped’s reason for recommending iron supplements was that iron helps the body process lead. That was a big selling point for me.

    • Anon in NYC says

      I didn’t give any supplements to my LO (iron, vitamin D, etc.). I took iron pills and Vitamin D, with the expectation that it would pass through to my kiddo. Our pediatrician said this was fine, but you should double check with yours.

    • Anonymous says

      Never heard of this being recommended with any of my 3 EBF babies. Once they started on solids though we offered lots of foods with iron in combination with vitamin C to maximize iron absorption (beef + red peppers cooked and mashed etc). Avoided calcium at same meal because that reduces absorption (so shredded cheese was afternoon snack if beef and peppers was lunch).

    • ANON says

      Both our babes (nor 4 and 1.5yo) were EBF and at 6 months she took a finger prick blood test to test for iron levels. For both they were low so we were asked to give iron drops. This is widely done in upper Midwest HCOL city we live in.

    • Katarina says

      My pediatrician recommended it pretty early on handouts, but we never discussed it. With my first, I tried, but did not push it when he did not seem to like them. He ended up pretty badly anemic at 9 months, and needed extra supplements to bring his levels up. At nine months he actually enjoyed them. He was not consuming much solids at that point. With my second, I started early to prevent this, and he takes them with no problem.

  2. Mom-to-be says

    My long-anticipated first is due any day now, and I still do not feel emotionally connected/overjoyed (while I do feel a great sense of responsibility for LO, a strange scientific interest about what´s happening and a strong relief after each OB Gyn check-up). And, in (almost) hindsight, I really did like my childless life (which is ironic because I was in therapy after TTC unsuccessfully for years).

    Any advise?

    • Anonymous says

      Totally normal. Don’t worry if you don’t feel an instantaneous and miraculous connection when they first hand you the baby, either. Our culture has built up becoming a mother to be this mystical, transcendental experience, and it’s easy to think there’s something wrong with you if you don’t feel “emotionally connected/overjoyed.” I desperately wanted to be a mother and felt “a great sense of responsibility” for my baby when she was a newborn, but I didn’t feel a deep bond with her until my body and psyche recovered from a difficult pregnancy and she started becoming truly interactive a few months later. Don’t let societal expectations pressure you to feel something you just don’t feel. Experience it on your own terms. You will do great.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. You will do great. It may take time. But soon, you’ll realize that each day with YOUR kiddo is more fun than the day before (mostly). My baby is almost 2.5 and I am constantly amazed by how FUN parenting can be. Do whatever you need/want to get through the newborn haze — it’s somewhere between 2 and 6 months of fog, ime, and once it passes, you’ll feel like a new woman. You’ll be solidly MOM. And when I filled out those forms at the hospital where I got to put my name on the line for “mother” it really made me proud.

      • Spirograph says

        Another +1. I didn’t feel emotionally connected to my kids until they were a few weeks or months old. Fiercely protective in a primal sort of way, absolutely, but it’s a big idea to wrap your head around. Pregnancy and childbirth are physically demanding, being sent home with a helpless infant is weird and scary, you’re exhausted, you’re overwhelmed by the major life change… it’s a lot to process and somehow have “joy” be the immediate output.

        One book I read (I think it was Baby Meets World: Suck Smile Touch Toddle, really interesting book!) mentioned that in some culture, people use the same word for an infant that doesn’t yet smile as they do for baby still in utero. My husband refers to the period before the baby “wakes up,” which is the same idea: like it doesn’t really become a “baby” until it can smile and interact. It’s hard to bond with something that is incredibly demanding but gives nothing back to you… but it gets better, and I have no doubt you’ll fall in love with your baby on your own time during the first year.

      • JEB says

        Yet another +1. I was very excited to have a child and felt great relief after every OB visit. But in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I panicked and couldn’t stop thinking “what have I done?!?” When I gave birth, I felt extraordinarily relieved that she was healthy, crying, breathing, etc. But when they handed her to me, I didn’t feel that overwhelming love that you hear about. There were no angels singing, there were no tears. I thought she was cute, and again, I felt a lot of relief. I loved her, but it wasn’t like in the movies by any means. It took a few weeks, and then I started having little twinges of that overwhelming love. And it steadily grew from there, to the point that I’m now tearing up just thinking about her :)

        I let myself feel a lot of guilt about this, and I wish I hadn’t. Pregnancy is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Your life is about to change. It’s perfectly fine to have conflicting feelings or to focus on the science of all of it rather than the emotion. Childbirth is also exhausting. I think that’s why it took time for my feelings to really set in…I needed to recover! So please remind yourself not to feel bad!

      • hoola hoopa says

        +1 Completely normal feelings. You’ll do great.

        I did feel a miraculous connection to my kids the second they were born (until then, no so much… they were pretty annoying to me, actually) – but before I had my first child, my mother made a point to tell me that she didn’t feel a connection to any of her kids for a few months and she had a chance to get to know us, that at the time it made her feel scared as if she had already failed as a mother, and to not worry if I felt the same. That was very reassuring because by any measure, my mother was the absolute best mother than anyone could ever have. (FWIW, no PPD for my mom. She loved having a baby; we were just strangers to her).

        And it is hard to say good bye to a perfectly good child-free life. Morn it without guilt. Like every major life change, it comes with good and bad.

    • Manhattanite says

      Totally normal. Bonding is a process. Don’t worry about it before the baby is even born. And give yourself time after baby is born too. Also, everyone will be screening you for post partum depression. Be honest when the pediatrician and OB ask you how you’re feeling etc.

      • Anonymous says

        … but don’t count on the pediatrician and OB to screen you for PPD. Our pediatrician was a militant BF advocate who did not give one hoot about the mom’s welfare. When I mentioned to her that the baby screamed whenever I put her down and I could not even take a shower, go to the bathroom, or eat, she said, “That’s just the way babies are. It doesn’t matter if you have to spend the whole day in your pajamas.” (I didn’t have PPD, but I did cut my maternity leave short by several months not long after that conversation.) So if you are worried about PPD, take proactive steps to reach out to a sympathetic health care provider.

        • Closet Redux says

          Oh man that is terrible advice! Glad you carved your own path despite it. I routinely tell my 2.5 year old, still, that mama needs to take care of herself first. Like when she’s trying to sit in my lap during dinner, or asking me to pick her up when I’m brushing my teeth or something. She actually seems to get it, and I feel like a great feminist mom for teaching her that lesson.

        • Meg Murry says

          I think that advice was definitely delivered in a terrible manner – however, I will say that the huge difference between bf my 1st son (which did not work out) and bf my 2nd (which did) was that with kid #1 I was still trying to run around like a crazy person doing all the things like cooking and cleaning – for kid #2 I acknowledged that my basic prioritizes were: 1) keep myself alive and sane and rested enough to heal and function and 2) keep him alive – but everything else (cooking, cleaning, making myself presentable just for other people’s sake, making polite conversation with my in-laws when I am exhausted, etc) was not a priority, and if that means I’m still in my pajamas at 3 pm with my feet up in the recliner nursing the baby because *I* am ok with that, and after that I”m going to take a nap, dust bunnies be d*mned – no one (especially my in-laws) gets to judge me for that.

          So to rephrase – feeling like a slave to your infant that doesn’t even let you get away for 30 minutes to take a shower and change your clothes = not ok for your sanity = not ok for your family. Letting yourself lower your standards so that you feel sane and can be ok with wearing pjs all day during a growth spurt and focusing on nursing while allowing your spouse and family to otherwise take care of you = what worked for me.

        • Anonymous says

          When we interviewed our pediatrician I asked whether they screened for PPD. They did, but it was only the worksheet. Not sure if it would be easier to lie or to be honest with the worksheet, but that was all I got.

    • Anonymous says

      I felt the same way you did. I did not weep with joy after giving birth. To be candid, I didn’t really enjoy my son as a baby. I felt great responsibility toward him and was a model parent, but didn’t feel like everyone claims to feel about their babies on Facebook.

      But now, 5 years later, we are fine. He is much more bonded to me than to my husband. I started to enjoy parenting around the time he turned 2 and became more communicative. Lots of people aren’t baby people. You may be one of them, and it’s ok.

      • Anon2 says

        +1 to not being a baby person. They don’t even smile at you for almost two months! I also went through a long fertility struggle and still mourned the loss of our freedom and pre-baby life. It took me until probably 6 months to feel that kind of magic oh my gosh I love you so much feeling. Don’t pay attention to Facebook. People only post their shiny happy moments, it is not reality.

      • HSAL says

        Yep. She’s not the end-all, be-all of my existence, even though I knew I loved her. I fully admit I didn’t enjoy much of the first few months. At 8 months I’m just starting to feel like I’m more into her and starting to just plain like her more.

      • pockets says

        Another non-baby person here. I remember thinking when my daughter was like 2 weeks old that the only reason you keep them alive at this stage is to get them to the next stage (I know that sounds dark and grim but having a 2 week old baby does that to you).

    • anon says

      Don’t worry, you will be okay. I felt fairly “normal” when pregnant but after my son was born I was convinced I’d made a huge mistake for much of his first year. In hindsight some of this was probably related to anxiety/depression and not entirely normal, but for anyone becoming a parent is a HUGE adjustment. You would be nuts not to be sad about leaving some aspects of being childless behind.

    • FVNC says

      Since we’re among friends, I’ll admit my first thought when I saw my daughter post-C-section was: oh sh!t, what have we done? I didn’t immediately bond with her, and I didn’t really enjoy her babyhood (part of that was the stress surrounding developmental delays and some special needs), but I really love the toddler years. You may surprise yourself and feel immediate joy and connection, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.

      • Maddie Ross says

        Ditto. The doc put the baby on my chest and I looked at my husband and my first words were “oh g-d, what have we done?” It probably took a good 4-6 weeks before I felt bonded. I felt very responsible. But more like someone dropped a helpless animal in my home, not this magical emotional bond everyone discusses. But then she started looking less frail and helpless, and I started feeling more like me again, and by 2 months she had my heart.

        • Famouscait says

          Amen to this. My private, hormone-addled thoughts were that I had just made the worst mistake of my life, and was going to have to live the rest of my life alone in the wilds of Montana or something because my family would abandon me when I abandoned my child. Needless to say, it all worked out much better than that.

    • 3L mama says

      any big life change like this means you’re closing some doors. It is totally normal to be eager for the next phase, hesitant about it, AND grieving the loss of the life you had before. Having children is such a gift! But can also be a big loss!

      I’ll never forget the first time I got a call from the ped’s office, a day or two after we brought my daughter home – nurse: “Hi, is this [Baby]’s mom?”
      me: “What!? Who? No, this isn’t…. wait. Oh, [Baby]? …. Um, yeah, I guess I’m her mom? I mean, no one else is so…?”

      • Anonymous says

        I remember being about 9 months pregnant filling out some form that asked for “mom” and I totally filled out my mom’s name and contact info, and almost turned it in before I realized that line was for me.

    • CHJ says

      I didn’t feel overjoyed/bonded during my pregnancy either. As my due date approached, I was mostly excited about not being pregnant anymore! But I did bond almost instantly with my son in the hours after he was born. Seeing and holding your tiny, very real baby is totally different than connecting with the abstract baby in your belly.

      And I still miss my pre-child life. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a totally different stage of life. I do think both stages of life are truly wonderful, just in different ways.

      • Anon in NYC says

        Yeah, I didn’t feel bonded/overwhelmingly excited during my pregnancy either. I also didn’t feel “in love” with my LO until about 6 weeks in (although I felt very responsible for her well being).

        Now, 13 months in, I do miss some aspects of my pre-baby life (mostly just time that I could spend focused solely on myself). I don’t think that’s unusual!

    • Momata says

      Totally normal. You do you. Also, give yourself more credit — you’re definitely invested in your baby and have sacrificed a lot (TTC, therapy, any extra measures taken to conceive, pregnancy, your childfree life) to get here. You’re not detached. The flip side of that investment — what makes it worth it — will come in its own time.

    • EB0220 says

      Totally normal. I didn’t really feel bonded to my first baby when I was pregnant. Even right after she was born, I was kind of in shock (she came unexpectedly early). But when she was about a day old, she failed her hearing test. For some reason that triggered the mama bear in me, and suddenly I finally felt like her mom. Maybe it was hormones, but I still remember it vividly.

    • Mrs. Jones says

      I didn’t bond with our son for a long time. Partly because babies are BORING, and partly because I was depressed. Remember, just because you’re not homicidal or suicidal, that doesn’t mean you’re not depressed. Anti-depressants saved me. I felt bad because I wasn’t madly in love with my child, like many people claim to be. Honestly, it wasn’t till he was 4 1/2 that I started enjoying being around him most of the time. So much more fun now that we can talk about and do different things.

    • MDMom says

      Is it possible you’ve been staying detached to protect yourself emotionally because of the infertility issues and other stuff you’ve been through? Like you don’t want to attach in case something goes wrong? I didn’t have infertility but it took longer than I expected to get pregnant and I was kind of paranoid during early pregnancy especially so I didn’t let myself get excited until almost the end. It never felt real to me until he was actually born. Felt very much like a hypothetical baby until that point.

    • PregLawyer says

      I echo everything said here. I’ll only add this: prepare for it to get harder before it gets better. The first 3 weeks after the baby is born are really really hard. I got low-grade PPD (I think it’s the same thing as the “baby blues”) and went on anti-anxiety meds and prozac for a while. It helped a lot. You’re going to go through this mourning period for your pre-baby life, while also dealing with a little lump that can’t give much back to you for a while.

      BUT, stay positive and take it one day at a time. You are going to bond with that kid. After a while it just . . . becomes magical. I don’t know how, it just does. The hard stuff gets easier either because the baby becomes more interesting, or because you get better at it. And the good stuff is so so so good.

      So cut yourself some slack, don’t worry about how you are “supposed to” feel. You are totally normal. Focus on your health, mental and physical, your communication with your partner, and take it one step at a time.

    • ChiLaw says

      Mourning (even preemptively) for your lost pre-baby life is totally understandable. I love my ridiculous life, chasing after a baby who is chasing after long-suffering cats, but sometimes I really miss the ability to stay out late laughing over drinks with my friends on a summer night.

      I second the “you don’t have to be homicidal or suicidal to be depressed” advice. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to admit I wasn’t feeling right. (Also don’t forget that some women get hit by depression during pregnancy too!)

      That being said, I don’t think that what you’re saying is necessarily problematic. I didn’t really understand what my daughter *was* until she was born. I didn’t have a lot of experience with babies, and when I was pregnant I felt protective of her (and very very scared about her birth and everything that would follow) but not really *love* like I do now.

      I remember a friend who struggled with fertility issues emailing me about a week after her son was born — “am I a monster for having buyer’s remorse?” She is not a monster. She is a great, caring mother. But it’s a whole new role that takes some getting used to.

      Rooting for you!

    • (was) due in June says

      I felt the same way. I didn’t feel overwhelming love for the baby beforehand, and only for very fleeting moments in the several months after she was born. Overwhelming responsibility and a dogged determination to do a good job, absolutely – that was instant. I am not a tiny baby person and probably also had some PPD. Tiny babies are utterly, soul-crushingly exhausting and frequently cover you and/or itself in bodily fluids.

      Now she’s a year old and walks to me when I pick her up from daycare and reaches for me and says mama and I’m much farther along the path of overwhelming love.

  3. Flat Spot says

    My LO was born with a mild case of torticollis (diagnosed at 8 week visit) and had a flat spot on the right side of his head as a result. LO is 4 months now and the pediatrician said the torticollis has resolved so there is no need to do physical therapy, but we may consider getting a helmet for the flat spot. The pediatrician gave us a “referral” (she printed off the pamphlet for the place that makes them). In the last three weeks he has become willing to sleep on the other side (he would immediately wake up if we adjusted him before) so we now move his head every time he falls asleep on the right side and have asked daycare to do the same. Also, in the last month he has mastered consistent head control so now we can put him in exersaucers or the like instead of laying him down if we need to do something, so I feel like the time he will spend on his back will be significantly reduced. Am I crazy for wanting to wait on the helmet and see if it corrects itself in the next month or two?

    • Anonymous says

      One of my twins had torticollis – very mild. I would recommend a physiotherapy consult. It never reached the needing a helmet stage but we learned some helpful positions and activities to encourage good muscle development. We went about once a month for 8 months starting when he was one month old – different exercises/positions at different ages. Apparently the first year is huge in terms of their head shape so the earlier you can forestall any problems the better.

    • Mrs. Jones says

      I would def wait on the helmet. And consider PT. Our son had the same thing, and PT helped a lot.

    • Anonymous says

      I am going to also say wait on the helmet but really, really consider PT. Especially as baby moves to walking/crawling. I’m not going to write a missive, but there’s actually a body of good research showing that for kids who are diagnosed with torticollis even if they seem to be otherwise normally developing, PT in the 3-9 month range makes a tiny yet measurable difference in coordination/physical issues when they are older, too.

    • Flat Spot says

      I called yesterday to see if PT was an option and they said since she determined the torticollis had resolved, they were not recommending PT (AKA they wouldn’t give us a referral).

      • Anonymous says

        Do you need a referral?

        Can you just check the physiotherapists professional body in your area and find someone that specializes in torticollis or children/infants? A one time consult might be helpful and not very costly (physio is about $70/hour in my area when paying privately)

        • Flat Spot says

          It may just be our area, but they won’t even let you make an appointment without a referral.

  4. octagon says

    I’m coming to terms with the fact that I think my feet grew during pregnancy. I had a couple pairs of winter shoes that fit fine, but now at 5 months PP my summer shoes are all snug. I am so cranky at the thought of having to replace all of my work shoes, which I like very much and took good care of. Also this is going to be an expensive endeavor. Whiiiiiiiine.

    • Carine says

      It took longer than that for my feet to return to size after my first–I want to say almost a year. Get a couple transitional pairs but don’t give up hope!

      • pockets says

        Agreed. My work shoes were tight at first and I was depressed but now they fit OK. If I had to re-buy them I might get the next size up, but they fit and it’s not like I’m running marathons in them.

    • anon says

      Yes, it took a year for my feet to return to normal! Don’t give them all away like I did at 8 months pp.

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      I feel your pain (literally). Either my feet didn’t return to normal or my tolerance for uncomfortable shoes disappeared, because I’m almost two years out and about half of my dressy shoes are just a leeeeetle too tight. Grrr.

  5. Lizochka says

    8 weeks preg here, and my OB says I need to get the Zika blood test per the NYC Department of Health. My husband traveled to a country 2 months ago that was not on the CDC’s list at the time, but now it is on the list.

    Anyone else been in this situation? Calm my nerves, please!

      • Lizochka says

        He says that he didn’t, but he was outside a lot. He’s also not a very “reactive” person in terms of bug bites, so he may not be aware even if he was bitten.

        • Anon in NYC says

          I wouldn’t panic just yet. It’s entirely possible that at the time your husband traveled to that country that Zika wasn’t a big issue there yet.

    • Anons says

      If this helps, remember that there is nothing that will be changed here by worrying about it. So try to focus attention elsewhere. Maybe try to be glad that your practice is up to date on medical protocol and realized you needed to be tested. And, no matter what, there are always options in any situation. I just heard that on the Happier podcast and it really resonated–you always have options.

    • Sarabeth says

      Something similar happened to me (in our case, we were both in the country, and the CDC put out the travel warning literally the day after we got back to the US). The test is no big deal, get it to put your mind at rest. Will they test your husband? They would not test mine, but this was in January and they were just ramping up testing facilities. They may have more capacity now. If your H doesn’t get tested, they may want you to use c*ndoms for the rest of the pregnancy, which kind of sucks, but is not a big deal in the scheme of things. Also, if the country was not on the watch list at the time, it’s likely that the rate of infection there is still extremely low, and the chances that he 1) got infected and 2) passed it to you are really, really small. When I got tested, I’d been to a country that had had 17 total diagnosed cases in the entire country of 30+ million people. They are being very cautious with this stuff.

    • Anonymous says

      You’ll be fine, but get the test to reassure yourself.

      DH went on a trip to a place that already had Zika when I was at the tail end of the first tri. I was NOT happy. He returned and was sick for a week…he claims recovering from the week of drinking and not sleeping but symptoms were the same as Zika. Despite this, he wasn’t allowed to be tested in our county at the time, and I was not considered high risk because at the time (we’re talking Feb) they were concerned about the risks only in first trimester exposure…by the time he came back I was (barely) in my 2nd tri. So, no test for me, anxiety all pregnancy, but extra ultrasounds to check baby’s head. That’s basically all they can do. Baby is coming any day….

      But for you…I’d take the test for the reassurance. You and baby will be fine.

    • AltaLitGirl says

      13 weeks pregnant here, and FWIW I became pregnant about 6 weeks after going to the Dominican Republic (on the Zika list). We were at a resort for a friend’s wedding and didn’t see any bugs the whole time we were there, but I was vigilant in using mosquito repellent every day and avoiding any excursions into the jungle, and I don’t think either of us had any symptoms upon returning home.

      I’ve read conflicting reports in terms of how long the virus can stay the average person’s system for (assuming an infection occurs), and my doctor didn’t bat an eye when I raised it as a concern during my first pre-natal appointment around 8 weeks. I would have taken a test if offered just to be sure (and it is probably a good idea for you to do so for peace of mind), but I’m sure everything will be fine. Even if your husband came back with the virus or some symptoms, try to keep things in perspective. Remember – even if you are infected with the virus that does not guarantee that your child will have any illness or abnormality. The Zika virus has been around for a long time and there are millions of women who have had some exposure to the illness who have gone on to have healthy, happy babies.

      Best of luck to you in the rest of your pregnancy!

  6. Jockey skimmies says

    Do you guys think Jockey skimmies will work under a bump? Or any other recs for something similar that’s comfortable with a baby bump? I’m second tri this summer, so not huge, but the chafe is real nonetheless. TIA!

    • SD says

      I was third trimester this time last year and used skimmies (bought a size bigger than I wore pre-preg) right up til the end. Lifesaver!

      • Lizochka says

        Great idea! I plan to wear skimmies for the rest of my life, honestly. What a great product.

      • Maddie Ross says

        I’m losing my mind, SD, because I totally read your comment as you “bought used skimmies” and I was kinda grossed out!

    • DC Wonkette says

      Someone else on this site recommended the following, and I LOVE them: Belevation Womens Maternity Shapewear Mid-Thigh Pettipant.

      • Anonymous says

        I have posted about them before, but I think I heard about them here. They are pretty much perfection and I’m wondering if there are non maternity versions!

  7. Speech Therapy? says

    My son is 2 years 7 months and despite his very large vocabulary, is still mispronouncing a lot of words (“pwease” instead of “please”, “cwash” instead of “crash”, etc). He can correct some once it’s modeled for him, but others he cannot (please becomes “p-lu-lu-pwease”). I was originally planning on discussing with his pedi at his 3 year in November thinking that if it didn’t correct by then, we could look into speech therapy. However, our nanny (who has friends who work in speech therapy) mentioned that she’s been working with him on it, but that he would likely inevitably need speech. Based on this, should I just get the referral now? Or is he too young so I should wait until 3?

    He’s starting a new mixed age preschool in the fall (so older kids will be in his class, rather than him being the oldest, which is the case now). So not sure if this will help, or just make it more noticable.

    • FVNC says

      Just my personal experience in case it’s helpful — our daughter is 2 yrs 8 months and has been in speech therapy for over a year. She mispronounces many words. Her therapist told us pronunciation is not something we need to work on until after our daughter turns three. I work on modeling correct pronunciation but don’t correct her. Our daughter has had other issues, though; don’t know if advise for an otherwise typically developing toddler would differ.

    • Anonymous says

      If you’re really worried about it, I’d call your ped now to ask for advice and a referral to consult with a pediatric speech therapist. I can’t imagine a 2.5 year old having the attention span to do much therapy, and I feel like my child (now 3.5) has made major strides in pronunciation in the last year without any intervention, but someone who actually works in that field would be a better source.

    • EP-er says

      This is completely developmentally appropriate! Please don’t worry. Blends like ‘pl’ & ‘cr’ don’t develop until 3-5 years old. See this helpful chart:

      http://www.talkingchild.com/speechchart.html

      My son wasn’t even talking at 2 yrs 7 months! I spent a lot of time in speech therapy with him and really learned a lot about what is developmentally appropriate and what isn’t. Obviously, talk to your ped in a few months if you are concerned, but I wouldn’t rush to get an eval if the only concern is blends at this point.

      • Speech Therapy? says

        That chart is great! Makes me feel so much better, based on it, his speech is very developmentally appropriate, so glad I don’t have to worry.

        • Meg Murry says

          Also, you may find that while he’ll learn to say new “L” words correctly, words that he learned early like “please” will linger into “pwease” for a while longer until he totally breaks that habit. For instance, my son learned to say “great” correctly, but still says “gwamma” for Grandma.

          That said, one of the clues we missed for my son’s hearing loss was that (that he can explain to us now that he’s older) is that he doesn’t hear certain blended sounds. So as far as he is concerned, “free” and “three” sound exactly the same – he has learned to make the “th” sound when saying the word, but if you were to give him a spelling test and not use the word in a sentence, he wouldn’t know whether you were saying “free” or “three”. So keep an eye on it, but you are totally within normal development right now.

      • anne-on says

        My 4yr old just said “croissant” correctly for the first time last weekend. I teared up a little since the baby pronunciation of “bur-saunt” was now gone.

        • Lyssa says

          I hear that. Several months ago, my 3 year old was saying “BO-nana” for his favorite fruit, and it was delightful. His current one is “hang-buh-gur” for hamburger, but I’m sure that’s not long for the world. He also loves a chance to go out to lunch at “Old McDonalds,” which I refuse to correct. I love it.

        • hoola hoopa says

          I am so sad when “Ointmeal” (oatmeal) is lost.

          But yeah, totally normal. Enjoy it while it lasts :)

    • mascot says

      Mispronunciations are normal (and pretty cute) at that age. Not being intelligible is a bigger concern. Do you understand what he is saying or at least 80-90% of what he is saying? Do strangers understand what he is saying most of the time? Those were the criteria for our pediatrician when we expressed concerns about speech at the 3 yr appt. Our answers were “no” so we got referred to speech therapy 2x week. Also, our child was self-aware that other people didn’t understand him which made him sad. Three years later, the developmentally appropriate stuttering has ceased, the blends are close to age appropriate and his other issues are resolving.

      • Speech Therapy? says

        Agree that it’s totaly adorable. I was so sad when he started saying “blueberry” instead of “buddaberry”. I do understand about 95% of what he says, but I am more worried about others understanding. It sounds like starting a new preschool in the fall will be the perfect time to see if new teachers and friends are understanding him well enough.

        • Anonymous says

          So funny about the variations on blueberry. For us, first it was “bee-bee” first, then “bluebellie” (also “strawbellie”) and now he says it correctly. I love my kiddo’s mispronunciations. He recently started saying “thunder” instead of “funder” and it makes me sad.

        • Sarabeth says

          I think that’s typical for this stage too. Our older kid makes perfect sense to me and my partner, and her current preschool teachers, but most other adults can only decipher 75% of what she’s saying.

    • goldy says

      I’d wait. He’s 2 – he talks like a 2-year-old! Definitely bring it up at your next scheduled doctor’s appointment, though. I was concerned about my son’s speech and, at least in my county, you get one evaluation for public services, so if you get the eval and the verdict is “too soon to tell” because he’s just too young for a concern, you then need to seek a private evaluation later on and fight for public services. So if you’re in doubt, I’d wait a few months for that reason alone.

    • Anonymous says

      My sibling is a SLP and specializes in ages 2-4. Not too young, and never too early to start.

  8. Anon cause I've told real life people says

    Sick 2 year old this morning started crying and said “all done Mama work.” I almost balled on my way into work.

    Just got a picture of him smiling and watching Daniel Tiger, but man, that sucked.

    • Anon in NYC says

      Ooof, yeah. My daughter wanted a lot of cuddles this morning and I didn’t want to leave her!

    • SoCalAtty says

      My 10 month old was extra cuddly this morning too – he is teething and doesn’t feel well. At drop off I put him down and he crawled right over and put his arms up for me. Cue the waterworks!

  9. SUPER DUPER ANON FOR THIS says

    Only K will know who I am by my IP address, super anon.

    So after gaining 50 lbs with my first pregnancy and then 20 more pounds of stress with my second’s medical issues, and trying for a year to lose weight and only losing about 8 pounds, my doctor suggested I take phentermine. I had never heard of this – I had no idea that there are prescribed diet drugs out there.

    I’m on my second day. I delayed for two months because I was worried about side effects, and the doctor ran two EKGs on me just to make sure I didn’t have any heart issues. But guys. I don’t know about weight loss yet, but MY GOODNESS – I have spent the last two years in an exhausted fog. For the last two days I have been focused, energized, and filled with energy. It’s just wild to have the ‘old’ me back suddenly and dramatically.

    Sooo…has anyone else ever taken this? Am I literally the only person in the world currently taking this? Before I felt really horrible and ashamed for even considering this, although my weight was out of control for someone who has been active all her life. But now I am so excited to have the energy and concentration and focus to get through my day. Even though it basically is because I’m on speed.

    • anon says

      I took a different diet drug, Contrave, last year (which is basically wellbutrin and an anti craving drug they use for alcohol dependency). It worked, but I had a lot of the same guilt about needing a “crutch.” I went through some really difficult professional issues while I was on it and realized that it also acted as preventative maintenance for my mental health.

    • hoola hoopa says

      These drugs typically operate by influencing neurotransmitters, so you’re not imagining it and it’s not just you.

    • Anonymous says

      Also super anon for this response. I used it for four months to lose 20 lbs for a wedding three years ago. I also followed the diet plan to a T and exercised 4 days a week, but I was not hungry so it was fine to have a snack of 10 almonds. I felt pretty good on it and didn’t have any issues once I was off it. I gained some of the weight back naturally, then got pregnant with twins which I had a year ago, so I’m about 8 lbs above my phentermine weight.

    • Meg Murry says

      I haven’t yet, but it was recommended as a possibility by my doctor as part of the combination drug Qsymia because I had a similar problem of barely losing weight even when on doing strict Weight Watchers, and gaining when eating what should have been a stable number of calories while still feeling like I was constantly hungry. Unfortunately, since my insurance doesn’t cover it, it would have been hundreds of dollars out of pocket every month, so I didn’t try yet.

      However, my newest combo of Vyvanese and Prozac instead of just generic Adderall has been magical in terms of stopping me from being constantly hangry/carb craving to alert and satisfied with much smaller portions and healthier food. It’s so amazing, I feel 1000 times better.

      I held off on going back on antidepressants because I wasn’t “that bad” and I’d had lots of side effects with little help in the past on other drugs. But I’m so, so much happier now.

      • SUPER DUPER ANON FOR THIS says

        Insurance doesn’t cover my either. That’s actually why we went with generic phentermine because it is now $40/mo out of pocket instead of something crazy like $350/mo.

    • JayJay says

      I haven’t taken it, but I have several coworkers who have told me they are on it – for similar reasons. Diet and exercise simply weren’t working. Good luck to you!

    • Sarabeth says

      The recent episode of This American Life (on fatness) has a story by a woman who lost lots of weight on phentermine, Elna Baker. Her story is pretty depressing, but she reports the same focus/energy side effects. Didn’t exactly make me want to go on the drug, though.

  10. quail says

    PSA: A lot of polyester and wool suiting on 60% off sale at AT, lots of sizes as far as I could tell. As someone who wears a suit almost every day at work, nice to pick up a boring basic suit for <$100.

  12. PPD- feeling trapped says

    I’m suffering from serious postpartum depression and anxiety and I feel unbelievably trapped. At least part of the trapped feeling comes from the fact that I’m EBF and have been attempting for well over a month now to find a formula my DD can tolerate so that I can stop breastfeeding and start the meds I need. My doc refuses to prescribed anxiety and/or depression meds if you are breastfeeding. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety since childhood. Oddly enough, the only time I haven’t needed the meds is while I’m pregnant and while breastfeeding until they start solids (when supply drops) and then it creeps back in. This is my second child. I went ahead and set up an appt with my doc to see if he’ll prescribe something. My DD has stopped sleeping (waking every 10-30 minutes at night) with each formula we’ve tried, so I’m not sleeping on top of everything AND work sucks. Any here take meds for anxiety and/or depression while breastfeeding? I know Zoloft is typically prescribed- anything else?

    • hoola hoopa says

      I’m so sorry. My sister went through the same thing (trying desperately to wean to a tolerable formula so that she could get on to depression meds). It’s so hard. I don’t know specifics, but I do think she was on something before but it wasn’t nearly as helpful as the non-bfing option.

      FWIW, my grandmother was chronically depressed except when pregnant. It’s not just you. Needless to say, in the era before the clinical options available today, she had many children.

    • Anon MN says

      Totally weird, and might be just me, But I have found my mental health significantly improves when I am pregant (before I get late term and ragey) and immediately post pardum. After that, my best medicine is . . . birth control. Weird, right? But my hormonal rollercoaster is just too much for me and birth control just kind of levels me out. I remember when I went on it in young adulthood for the first time and felt like a completely different person.

      That being said, I started the mini-pill when I was BF my first (around 6 months) and it made a world of difference.

      • Meg Murry says

        Same here, at least to a certain extent. I think for me, when I’m not on BC, my highs are higher but my lows are so, so, so low when my hormones are swinging all around, especially when I’m PMS-y. I feel like birth control basically averages that all out to a baseline “little bit low”, and as I mentioned above, a low dose of Prozac is helping me bring that low back to good.

        I took Welbutrin while BF, and it helped me at least go from “I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay here forever” to “ok, I can at least make get out of bed and shower”. Now, a few years later, I’m on Prozac and it’s working much better than the Welbutrin ever did (but I was also super stressed back then, and am less so now).

    • Anonymous says

      I’m so sorry you are going through this. I don’t have any personal experiences but I would consider finding a new doctor. I have been told by various medical professionals that the transfer of any medication to b milk is so low, and nursing is so beneficial, that basically unless you are doing crack it is worth the risk for mother to be taking the drugs she needs (over exaggeration and over simplification since it won’t apply to all drugs but you get what I mean). Mother risk is run by the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and has great resources on the safety of medication while nursing. I will post the link in reply to avoid moderation.

        • Anonymous says

          Conclusion

          At present, there is little evidence that exposure to antidepressants through breast milk has any serious adverse effects in infants; however, long-term neurodevelopmental effects have not been adequately studied. There are many benefits of treating postpartum depression and advantages of breastfeeding, for both the mother and the infant. Therefore, if maternal depression necessitates treatment with pharmacotherapy, then breast-feeding need not be avoided, and the antidepressant that would be most effective for the mother should be considered.

      • Meg Murry says

        Yes, the Infant Risk center (based out of Texas Tech) has also done studies on which commonly prescribed drugs, including antidepressants, actually transfer into breastmilk. I got a list of anti-depressants covered by my insurance, then called the infant risk center, they told me which they had data for low transfer, and then I took that to my doctor. I know other women that actually called the infant risk center while in their doctor’s office.

    • blue says

      Please, please do whatever you can for yourself. If your partner can’t handle the wakeups to give a serious chunk of sleep, hire a night nurse for at least a few nights, so that you can get some sleep.

    • Oh so anon says

      I have taken Zoloft while BFing both of my kiddos. With my second, the Zoloft isn’t working as well so we’re trying other things in combination with it. Truly, my OB, PCP, lactation consultant, and pediatrician have all signed off on it with the mantras repeated above – there’s very little transmission into the milk and it makes a huge difference for baby to have a mom that’s feeling more like herself. My second is just now, 13 months later, starting to sleep for longer stretches at a time and I would not have made it through without meds. Hugs to you!

    • anon says

      I took Prozac through my pregnancy and while BF. Both my OBGYN and psychiatrist didn’t blink about it. (I had prev been on a different SSRI, but switched to Prozac before TTC, since my doc believes it to be one of the safest for pregnant women.)

      I’d love to just not need it, but life is just so much more manageable that it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself and my baby. There are other doctors. Hugs.

    • Sarabeth says

      Find another doctor if at all possible. If you are in a major metro area, you might be able to find a psychiatrist with a speciality in reproductive medicine. But even just a more sympathetic GP or OP would help. Your health matters too!

    • OP says

      Thank you everyone for the feedback, advice and encouragement! I honestly feel better just from putting that out there and knowing I’m not alone. Unfortunately, switching doctors is not an option for me right now. My actually decent insurance is oddly terrible when it comes to coverage for mental health so the psychiatrists that are covered are VERY limited. This one is the best of the worst. I’ve found even physicians that I love are very behind when it comes to the issue of medicine while BF. It is so frustrating. I made an appointment with my psychiatrist – unfortunately it is three weeks out. But I’ve looked at the information y’all posted and plan to go to the appointment armed with information. Thanks again!

      • SC says

        Admittedly, I haven’t read the entire thread above. But I took prozac while BFing, and I discussed potential side effects with my OB and pediatrician. My GP prescribed it, but my OB said she would too.

      • NewMomAnon says

        Do you have an OB? They tend to be more up on the psych drug/bf combo.

      • Frozen Peach says

        My OB prescribed me Wellbutrin for PPD. They’re used to doing this, at least in my fairly run-0f-the-mill practice.

        Re: formula, have you considered whether your babe has reflux? This was our story until we started her on “baby zantac” from our pediatrician. It’s not just for comfort– the reflux can have serious consequences later in life, and most babies (like mine) only need it for the first year or so. The two months before we started the zantac almost broke me, and I”m not exaggerating at all.

        Kellymom also has excellent info about meds while breastfeeding.

        Also, hugs. This is so, so hard. Consider getting a copy of “This Isn’t What I Expected,” which I credit to basically saving my life. That and the meds. You’ll likely need a sedative too– like xanax or klonopin. Which are also safe while bf.

  13. Vanessa says

    I love this blazer but the collar is all frumpy after washing. Is it OK to iron this? How do you all keep the collar looking nice? Thanks!!

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