Washable Wednesday: Ponte-Knit Swing Dress

My sister-in-law and I gave birth near the end of January on the same day. I had a boy and she had twin boys. Our sons are almost 11 months old. I’m dreading seeing her over the Christmas holidays and I feel so guilty about it. The reason being that she lost all the weight and I am overweight and haven’t even come close.

So wore a corset right after the birth at all times except showering and she went on a diet. She hit the gym as soon as her sons were 8 weeks old, she had a tummy tuck and breast lift when they were 6 months and after the surgery she had laser scar removal for the surgery scars and stretch marks. I’ve seen pictures on Facebook and she looks great.

We both work similar jobs in the same industry (finance). I haven’t lost any baby weight and have put on more since the birth. I hate feeling this way. My sister-in-law is a lovely person and I know looks aren’t everything and I have lots of good qualities but I keep imagining people silently comparing us when I see both of us. I only get these feelings when I think of her. The rest of the time I feel fine. And no matter what I do love my son and being a mom.

I’m not sure what I am looking for, advice, commiseration or just venting, but I appreciate anyone who reads this. Thank you.

i’ve been assigned to plan the “activities” for a baby shower for my friend’s third child. any ideas? personally i did not want any “activities” at the shower for my firstborn, i have no idea what to do at a third shower.

Over the last several weeks I’ve bumped up the size of bottles my baby (4.5 months) is taking at home. My mom, who watches him 3.5 days a week, said it seemed like he needed more, and the ped office okayed me bumping up .25 oz at a time. But now he’s drinking 5.75-6 oz three times a day, which is like insane, and I can usually only pump around 15 oz. I’m trying to add in a pumping session at night and pumping four times a day at work, which is also insane, and for the last few weeks I feel like all I’m doing is thinking about milk or pumping milk or worrying about milk. I feel like he really doesn’t need to eat that much during the day, because when I get home he only wants to nurse for comfort and barely eats anything then or right before bed. And around the same time, he now wakes up more at night, wanting to nurse every 2.5-3 hours. I can’t tell if that’s just sleep regression or something to do with gorging on food during the day. I called the ped and they said to “feed on demand” and give him oatmeal if he needs it, but I feel like when I nurse on demand on the weekends he is totally fine, it’s only during the week when he needs more. I’m afraid if I make smaller bottles my mom will be all, “you’re starving him!” I have a call into an IBCLC and I’m hoping that helps.

Everywhere I read online it says 1 to 1.5 oz per hour you’re away and he’s blowing that out of the water…one day my mom texted me he needed more milk and he had gone through almost 18 oz in 6 hours! I know supplementing with formula isn’t the end of the world, but I would like to not do it. But if it makes me stop thinking about milk every waking moment and half of my sleeping moments it would probably be worth it.

Ugh. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.

Venting — Almost in my third trimester and got my first unsolicited “You’re too small you need to eat more — do you not have an appetite?” comment from a stranger, at work. I just responded with “oh the baby is a fine size and everyone is different,” but it’s just made me roll my eyes. I check with my doctor at every appointment that I’ve gained enough weight and they assured me that I have.

Can we do a thread about the actual logistics of how you plan Christmas day to go for young kids? I came from a big family and our extended family was far off, so we had a pretty solid routine in place throughout my childhood (I was the oldest, so there were kids young enough to be excited well after I had personally outgrown most of it.) But our family is really different (smaller immediate, lots and lots of extended to visit with).

Here’s the current plan, my kids are 1.5 and 4: Christmas eve will be mostly prepping food and household (hopefully done wrapping, but you know how that goes). My mom and Santa (my dad – longstanding tradition, though I’m not sure if he’ll be there the whole time or Grandpop will find an excuse to step out) plan to visit sometime in the evening, and they want to read the Night Before Christmas with the kids. Bed as usual, and then we’ll set up the presents, and I expect that the kids will get up around 7-8 a.m. The rest of the family wants to come over sometime “late morning” (whatever that means), so I guess we’ll try to get up and dressed before the kids are too far up (bribing the older one with the ipad, I guess). The family is my mom and dad, 2 brothers and their wives, a 7 year old girl, and twin 3 year old boys.

We’re thinking of having pastries and whatnot ready to eat for breakfast. I’m not sure if we’ll do presents early or wait for the family, or some combination. Family will come and have more gifts. Will try to get the 1.5 yr old down for a nap at some point, but I’m not optimistic about that. We’ll put out snack/appetizer stuff mid-day and have a big dinner (I want to roast a goose because that’s the thing in the songs and all, but none of us have ever even eaten goose, much less cooked it, so I’m open to other suggestions). Long, busy day of craziness, I’m sure. (Then we anticipate going to visit my husband’s side of the family 1.5 hours away the next day for another long and busy day!)