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These ankle pants kind of look great — I like the slits at the ankles, the straight pockets in the back, and the mix of cotton, rayon, and spandex (6%, which I’m assuming is part of NYDJ’s shaping-but-comfortable reputation). They’re also available in stone (and well-reviewed), if that’s your thing. They’re available for regular and petites, sizes 0 to 16, for $110 — instructions say machine wash cold. Score! NYDJ Two-Way Stretch Ankle Straight Leg Pants
(L-3)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
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- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
CHJ says
Potty training question – when are we supposed to start potty training? My son is 20 months old, and potty training was the farthest thing from my mind. But lately, he’s been talking all about the potty, wanting to sit on the potty, telling us when he has a dirty diaper, etc. I thought this was more of a 3 year old thing, but the Google says it’s more of an 18 month – 2.5 year thing. Any experienced moms out there have more insight into this? He seems way too young, but as with everything parenting-related, I’m an eternal rookie.
anne-on says
If they’re interested, go for it! My son trained for good just before his third birthday, which was right about on time for a boy, most girls seemed to train earlier. But I think it was really helpful that we started getting him used to the potty seat/sitting on the potty much earlier. You’re also coming into the summer which could be helpful – a lot of moms I know let their boys run around naked so they figured out when they had to go quicker than they would in training pants. YMMV but pull ups were kind of useless for us, once we had him in real underwear that let him feel when he was wet he trained super quickly.
Meg Murry says
If he’s interested, I say go for it, since for some kids 3 years old is also when the infernal stubbornness sets in big time, and they start saying “no” to everything just because.
With my oldest he showed little interest, and we did pull ups at daycare for forever but it wasn’t until right after his 3rd birthday that we went cold turkey underpants and really did potty training in full force. I don’t recommend this, because pullups are twice as expensive as diapers, hold half as much, and didn’t deter my son from going in them in the least.
My youngest was in a really small class in daycare, so they started putting him on the potty by 18 months, and went cold turkey to underwear sometime around 20-22 months. The cold turkey adjustment period lasted longer than with my older son, and the “trained” part was more a factor of daycare making him go every 45 minutes to an hour. He couldn’t be relied on to tell us he needed to go until closer to 3, but at least we weren’t paying for diapers.
I’d recommend a small seat on top of the potty over a separate small toilet, just because the little ones are gross to clean and make the transition to using public toilets harder. Another thing that worked well with my 2nd son was not to use the word “accident” but rather to just say “oh, you have wet pants, that’s no fun, lets change it” and ask him constantly “do you have dry pants?” and if he did, make a HUGE deal about it. He did a little “dry pants dance” that was super cute, so we started every time before putting him on the potty with a little “dry pants dance” if he was dry.
Meg Murry says
Oh, and teach him to sit for as long as possible – we managed to hold off on standing with my oldest until almost kindergarten, but the youngest has seen the oldest standing and wants to do that too – but his aim is terrible and he’s too short to stand in public restrooms. Grandpa also taught him to pee outside, which I also don’t recommend since we had to go through a lot of where it was and was not acceptable to pee outside (public park = no, when its snowing = no) so I’d avoid that too.
JJ says
Ohmygosh, this made me laugh out loud. Because my two boys are obsessed with peeing outside after seeing their Papa do it (in Papa’s backyard while we were in the pool).
And YES to the seat inserts into the toilet. We have a Baby Bjorn one that we’ve used and even bought two: one for upstairs and one for downstairs. Much, much easier than cleaning the little potty. And I encourage my three-year old to sit and pee. His daycare does, as well, which I appreciate.
Take 3 says
Silly question – but doesn’t the “plumbing” point up when they sit? I’m having a hard time figuring out how to make sure that things go down, not up.
Meg Murry says
The potty seats have a little bump on them to help divert everything down, and you do have to teach them to lean forward, and possibly even hold it down slightly with a folded piece of TP. And even with all that, occasionally there will be times when they “miss” – but less often than when they pee right on the floor when trying to stand up.
mascot says
You just teach them to hold it down when they go. They catch on pretty quickly.
Take 3 says
Thanks! The things parenting teaches you :)
mascot says
We actually switched out some of our toilet seats to these http://www.homedepot.com/p/BEMIS-NextStep-Round-Closed-Front-Toilet-Seat-in-White-583SLOW-000/202721306?N=5yc1vZbza2
If he’s in daycare, he will get plenty of exposure to potty training. I think that the 2 year old class spent half their day in the bathroom at my son’s school. He was interested around 2, but it wasn’t until he was 2.5 that he was physically ready. Once he reached that point, we day trained really easily.
Anonyc says
Let your son lead the way, so if he’s interested, pick up a potty and let him sit on it. My son was the same–lots of interest, a period of trying it out, and then that interest tapered off for a while. Actually, for both my son and daughter there was interest, then little interest, then a frustrating period when we had some successes and lots of failures (all the more frustrating because you knew IF they wanted to, they could train in a second), and finally we went cold turkey with no accidents (freals).
We talked with our ped and daycare teachers, and the advice we received from both was not to stress it or make it a big thing with the kid, because there’s a good chance pushing kids too soon will result in lots of accidents, tears, etc. on both sides and make your kid neurotic (I mean, not really, but it was emphasized that was not a path to head down). My personal rule was that as long as we weren’t the last kids in daycare to potty train, I could deal. And while we probably were on the late side, when we did pull the trigger, there was no backsliding or accidents or anything.
Also–highly recommend the baby bjorn potty chair.
MomAnon4This says
This sounds about right. My son started training US at about 18 months – he peed every time he got out of the tub, so we started sitting him on the Baby Bjorn potty to contain it. We read books and did sticker charts to get him interested but I really feel like the whole potty process took 1 year+ Right after age 3 he insisted on only wearing underwear to school, but still a lot of accidents at school and with us. That’s fine. So, for us, a smart, communicative kid, it was ages 2-3 for learning the potty, 3-4 for learning to not have accidents. Still have nighttime accidents. Oh, well.
Good luck!
EB0220 says
I started letting my daughter sit on the potty around that age. We got her a small toilet, and she would sit on it when I went to the bathroom. She used it once or twice. I put zero pressure on her. Eventually, around 2.5, it was clear that she was ready to use it full time. We did the potty training bootcamp – a weekend of no diapers – and after that she was almost 100% in underwear. It was a really easy transition, I think in part because she had been practicing for so long.
Spirograph says
I also am a rookie, but right in the middle of this, so I’ll chime in with empathy! My son just turned 2, and a few months ago he started getting interested in us using the bathroom – always wanting to come in, wanting a piece of TP, wanting to help wipe (NO! so weird!), wanting to flush. We put a potty in the bathroom so that he would sit there instead of hovering at our knees. He likes to sit on it before bathtime (and sometimes pees), and now he goes and poops – in his diaper – in the bathroom and comes out to announce what he’s done. We’re trying to get the idea across that if he tells us *before* he poops, he can try to do it in the toilet. It’s not quite working. We’re not pushing at all but daycare offered to start potty training there, so now they let him sit on the potty after lunch before naptime, too, and seem to be having some success.
OB Appt says
I’m having my very first OB appt next Friday. My husband is pretty upset because he can’t make the appointment, and has been asking me to try to reschedule.
Is this normally a thing that dads usually go to? Is the first one extra special for any reason?
Newly pregnant says
My husband went to my first OB appointment. He went to several at the beginning, actually, because a number of things seemed frontloaded (first appointment at 8 weeks, nuchal ultrasound at 12 weeks, anatomy scan at 20 weeks, plus we had a few other things that we needed to do in terms of testing).
I’d say if your husband really wants to be there, try to rearrange it. The first appointment is when they confirm the pregnancy and you can hear the heartbeat.
Lyssa says
I think that it’s fairly normal (not necessary, but normal) for the dad to go. I’m not sure what your office does, but mine does an in depth first visit where you meet with a nurse and have a discussion, talk about any risk factors, get all the dos and don’ts, get a ton of handouts, and also do an ultrasound. They definitely want the dad there for that if possible. But even if not all of that, it’s nice to let the dad get a chance to meet the doctor and see/hear the heartbeat.
I would reschedule if I were you. Think of it as getting a head start on him being an equal partner in baby-caring. :)
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t say, “they definitely want the dad there for that.” My husband didn’t come to any of my OB appointments (it made no sense to me to have both of have to take time off from work) and nobody said a single thing about it. There’s really nothing that happens that he needs to be there for. Its a pretty standard and routine appointment and not very exciting. I would not reschedule, unless they could reschedule you for the next day or something. I wouldn’t push it off another week or two.
Lyssa says
“They” = my office. They specifically said that they wanted the dad there for it. I’m sure that they don’t complain if he doesn’t make it or anything, but they recommended it from the start.
There was a huge amount of information and opportunities for questions – I’m really glad that he was there with me.
Anonymous says
Sorry — I didn’t appreciate that you meant your office. I do think they are treading in difficult waters wanting the father to be there and saying as much. There are many situations where the woman who is the actual patient doesn’t want the father involved in her medical care. I would feel very uncomfortable if the doctor told me that I had to have the father there for my doctors appointments. Not because I personally wouldn’t want him, but I can imagine many woman who wouldn’t. It undermines the autonomy of the woman and it suggests that the doctor is caring for something other than the female patient.
Lyssa says
Anon, we’ll have to agree to disagree on that. Obviously, there are some cases where it would be different, but those cases aren’t applicable in either mine or the OP’s circumstances. In most cases, the husband/father should absolutely be involved in the pregnancy, the birth, and throughout the parenting. Having a child together in a marriage is a partnership. (And please note that we’re talking about what was recommended, no one has suggested that the office said anyone “had” to be there.)
Anonymous says
Yea, but just because it’s not your issue doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive to it for others. If my OBGYN had remarked about wanting the father to be there, I would say something. Not because it’s my issue, but because I don’t think its right. Sure, having a child together is a partnership, but at 8 weeks, 12 weeks, whatever — it’s still *my* body and *my* medical autonomy. I’m lucky enough that my doctor realized that and didn’t take some BS position that they “prefer to have the father there.” Thats all.
Anon says
FWIW, for my first pregnancy, we had had a scan that showed a heartbeat. And then I went to the next US appoinment alone and the heartbeat was gone. I think that 12 weeks, it’s probably a nuisance.
PregLawyer says
My husband has been to all my appointments. The first was the most emotional for us. The doc rolled out a little ultrasound and we got to see the flash of the heartbeat. Both of us teared up. It might not be as exciting for everyone, but that was a pretty great moment for us. If I were you, I’d reschedule so he can be there.
Katala says
My husband came to all appointments – today’s OB appointment will be the first he’s going to miss – now that they’re every 2 weeks and non-eventful, plus we had a US yesterday so it’s a lot of work for him to miss.
To answer OP, the first appointment was great and we got to have an US/hear the heartbeat. It was pretty magical. It was also nice to have him there to answer questions about family history and to have someone else to take in the loads of info. All the other appts so far have been more in and out.
Anonymous says
We were told “it’s twins” at our firest appointment. I can’t imagine if my husband would’ve missed that moment.
pockets says
Wow! Yes I would definitely have wanted my husband there for that.
Newly pregnant says
Wow – yes! My husband also told me that the first appointment (where we heard the heartbeat) was his “oh wow, this is for real!” moment.
Meg Murry says
If he wants to go, that’s great, but my husband never went to any except the big ones like ultrasounds.
Honestly, I’m pretty sure my first appointment was basically them just having me pee in a cup, saying “yup, you’re pregnant” and then giving me a run down of how their practice worked (whether I would see one doctor always or if there were multiple people in the practice) and how often to expect to come back, a phone number to call in case of emergencies and how their billing worked. I’m thinking I didn’t actually even see an OB, just a midwife or nurse practitioner. So I’d say to keep this appointment and ask if he wants to go to the next one. But hey, if he really wants to go and they can reschedule you, I guess that’s better than the reverse where you want him there and he doesn’t want to go.
CHJ says
How far along will you be at the first appointment? If it’s 8+ weeks, I think it’s nice to have your husband there. You might get to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, and they might do an in-office ultrasound. For me, that first appointment was when it all became very real (we even got a little photo of our tadpole to take home), so it’s nice to have your husband there to share the experience.
If the appointment is earlier than that, though, it might just be a blood test and a blood pressure/weight check, so not as exciting.
Merabella says
My husband works all of 100 yards from me, and our doctor is about half a mile away, so he has been to every appointment with me but one. He is super excited to be there and was really disappointed at the one he couldn’t make, so I say if he wants to be there try to include him if you can. Our first appointment was meeting with our doctor, getting a lot of the dos and don’ts (don’t drink, etc) – it wasn’t anything eye opening, but we did get to hear the heartbeat for the first time, which was exciting.
Merabella says
I saw further down about baby books not being geared towards fathers, my husband really liked The Expectant Father, blue cover with a tie on it. It gave him a lot of information, what’s going on with the baby, what’s going on with the pregnant, what’s going on with him (emotionally, physically all that stuff). It allowed him to be informed and ask questions at the doctor, and sometimes his book was better than mine.
mascot says
My doctor did an u/s to date the pregnancy (first visit was 7-8 wks?) so it was nice to have DH there. DH also went to the first few appts for all the genetic testing, the 20 wk u/s, and the last couple of weekly appointments in the 3rd trimester.
It’s not the end of the world if he can’t make appts, but if he wants to go, I’d try and reschedule. Having him there also means another person is there to remember the ton of information being thrown at you and to ask some questions.
KJ says
My husband came to almost all of my midwife appointments and ultrasounds. At the first one they did an ultrasound, so I was glad he got to see that. I was also glad to have him at the appointments because I was high-risk for a miscarriage, and I wanted to have him there in case we got bad news. Plus, he is not the type to do a lot of research/reading on the baby stuff, so I wanted him to hear all the information first-hand. If we have a second, bringing him to all the appointment probably wouldn’t be possible, but I would at least try to have him there at the early appointments and ultrasounds in case I got news of a loss. I wouldn’t want to be alone in that case.
MomAnon4This says
I would recommend him being there if possible.
Sometimes my first OB appointments have been bad news, and it’s nice to have another set of ears to listen to the doctor, and of course arms for hugs.
And then either way, you get cheesecake afterwards. Always cheesecake.
JJ says
Agreed. My husband went with me to my first US, which showed the heartbeat. Then I had one at 14 weeks while my husband was out of town (he traveled M-F, so it was bound to happen), and I found out that I had a miscarriage. It would have been nice to have someone there with me for that news. And though he never said anything about it specifically, he was there for every US appointment for my next two pregnancies. He didn’t come to the routine, non-ultrasound appointments, though.
D. Meagle says
You do you. But if there is going to be a sonogram, its nice for your husband to be there and share that experience. Its all going on inside of you, but I think seeing the blob and hearing the heartbeat help make it a little more real for the dad. Also, if you are anything like me, suffering from insomnia and early on-set pregnancy brain, it was nice to have my husband at some appointments so someone could actually retain some of the information being relayed by the doctor.
rakma says
My husband came to the first couple of appointments, as well as most of the ultrasounds. It was really great to have him ask the questions he had, this way I didn’t have to remember his questions as well as my own, and he heard everything from the midwives that I did, so I wasn’t explaining everything over again. He was as new to all of that as I was, and didn’t read the pregnancy books because, well , they are not really great for the fathers-to-be in my/our opinion, so he learned a lot in those first few appointments.
Towards the end, when I was going every 2 weeks for 5 minute appointments, he stopped coming (heck, I didn’t even want to go at that point) but it was really good in the beginning. If he wants to come, and rescheduling isn’t a huge deal, then I’d suggest you try.
rakma says
Another reason I’m glad DH came to a bunch of appts- he met all of the midwives in the practice, which was great as I went through at least 4 shifts while in labor, and it was nice for both of us to have a familiar face at each turn over. We scheduled appointments at different times and days to work around both work schedules, so we met everyone very quickly, they didn’t need to try to rotate us around the practice.
HSAL says
Find out if your doctor will listen for the heartbeat or does an ultrasound at the first appointment. If they do, I’d definitely try to reschedule, because that’s a big deal. My doctor didn’t, but I was still glad to have him there, and it was important for him to be there.
EB0220 says
I only had my husband come when I was getting news – first appt (if they are doing an ultrasound to look for a heartbeat), delivery of test results and 20 wk anatomy scan.
SFBayAssoc says
Ask what they’re going to do at the appointment. I did a pee test at 6 weeks, and then first appt with the doctor at 10 weeks. At my 10 week, I saw an actual doctor who asked a lot of family history questions I wouldn’t have been able to answer about his, then did both heartbeat monitor and, to my surprise, a transvag ultrasound. So I was glad DH was there to answer the questions and see/hear the fetus with me for the first time. However, many of my friends’ first appointments were with nurses and maybe had heartbeat checked, but no one else had transvag.
DH has not come to any of the routine Obgyn checkups since, which I am totally fine with. I get weighed, measured, blood pressure checked, hand over my pee, and heartbeat check. Super boring (which is good, of course). I’m usually the only woman in the waiting room alone (everyone else brings their SO, it seems), but I don’t care.
DH came to the fancy ultrasound for the nuchal screen. That was worth attending because we could see the fetus better. I had a couple more doctor-ordered fancy ultrasounds that he didn’t attend, and I retrospectively wish he was there for moral support/sanity check. Turns out it was an issue that resolved itself, but it was stressful at the time.
JEB says
I agree that you should call and ask what is standard at your first appointment. It will depend how far along you are. I found out I was pregnant right at 4 weeks and went to the doctor immediately. They couldn’t really do anything, other than a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. We talked a little about dos and don’ts for pregnancy, and that was about it. My doctor actually seemed like he didn’t want to discuss too much at that first appointment, before we had even confirmed I was pregnant. My husband was there with me, but it wasn’t necessary.
However, if you’re going at 7-8 weeks for your first appointment, you should probably bring your husband. As others have said, that’s around the time they can detect the heartbeat, and they’ll either do an ultrasound there or send you out for one. Those are big moments for your husband to miss.
After that, my husband only came to our ultrasounds. He may have come to one more OB appointment (I can’t recall), but you’ll find that they become fairly routine if everything is progressing normally.
PregAnon says
Interesting…I had an early applointment at 6 weeks, one at 9 weeks, and then the NT scan at 12 weeks. The only one I would have really wanted my husband to be in on was the 12 week scan – that one helps check for Downs and other issues, and I got the results of my Panorama blood work panel back.
The others were ultrasounds of the…invasive kind…and no way was I letting husband in for that!
Anonymama says
That seems funny to me, that you wouldn’t want your husband at the transvaginal ultrasound… After all, if you’re pregnant, hasn’t he seen it all before? Do you not want him there for the birth either? (Not judging, just curious, because my own concerns were so different)
Mom-to-be says
My husband has come to every single appointment with me. I like holding his hand there, and I want him to be as involved in my pregnancy (and fatherhood) as possible. We try to schedule them on his days off if possible. A lot of men come the appointments in the OB practice I go to.
But everyone is different, and you do you.
Midori says
My husband has never been to an OB appointment for either of our two kids. I was actually kind of hurt that he “didn’t care” enough to want to go, but I get his analytical mind–what was he going to DO there? No one in either of my OB offices ever commented on his absence. Some fathers aren’t in the picture, and many who are don’t have the luxury of taking off work where they are not medically necessary.
One thing they may need his input on is if you have genetic counseling (I think that’s pretty standard now?) where you may want to know his genetic background (unusual ethnicity with common recessive traits, or family medical history). Helps them assess risk factors for genetic conditions to look out for.
EB0220 says
I know that this has been discussed before, but I can’t find any threads. Can anyone recommend some high-quality, sturdy, preferably lightweight dinnerware for families? We were not happy with the durability of our Crate & Barrel plates, and our current cheap set from Wal-Mart is very heavy.
KJ says
You need Correlle! We had it growing up, and my mom still has almost the whole set. It’s light and thin, so it takes up very little room in the cabinet, and it’s almost impossible to break.
Meg Murry says
Yes, my mother and mother-in-law both had the majority of their original Corelle sets they got as new brides, in Harvest Gold and avocado green flowers, and sent us off to college with them. My mother “upgraded” to other fancier plates and hated them, so after 10 years and lots of breakage she bought a new set of all white Corelle for a party where she needed a lot of place settings and has been using that ever since. Second the recommendation about how it takes up so little space – she easily has 25 plates in her cupboard that take up the same amount of space as 12 of my current dinnerware.
I’d recommend going with all white and then you can just add a few accent pieces, because since the stuff is unbreakable you will have it forever.
And did I mention cheap? And available in sets and a la carte?
EB0220 says
I just looked those up, and my mom and MIL both have the avocado green flower sets too! I just didn’t know what they were called. Thanks, all!
Meg Murry says
As in, I might just buy this set right now and throw away my chipping plates. http://www.corelle.com/livingware%E2%84%A2-winter-frost-white-12-pc-dinnerware-set/1094216.html
EB0220 says
Yep, just put those in my cart on Amazon.
JJ says
I did too! Amazon is going to wonder what precipitated this run on Corelle.
PinkKeyboard says
2nd Correlle. They have some more modern/plain stuff and it’s practically indestructible. Crate & Barrel is HORRIBLE. So brittle. My husband broke most of ours. I’ve been pretty happy with our West Elm though and it isn’t as heavy. Avoid pottery at all costs, heavy and brittle.
HM says
We have Mikasa Antique White china, and wow does it hold up well: Case in point, our dog managed to get caught in the dishwasher, and hauled a loaded bottom rack around the kitchen and living room before stopping. Not one chip on any of the dishes.
And since its non-decorated china, lightweight, dishwasher, oven, and microwave safe!
Momata says
Another recommendation for Corelle. I’m using the plain white set my family used when I was a child. I love how many plates and bowls pack into a small space, and they are indestructible.
Katala says
Yep, Corelle would get my vote. We have some plain white stuff from Ikea right now and it’s fine but I miss the Corelle we got rid of when we moved cross-country.
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo just hit 14 months and we have SO MUCH SADNESS. She wants to be carried all the time, doesn’t want to be left at daycare (she used to be super excited to go to daycare), doesn’t want to have diaper changes, doesn’t want to get dressed or get undressed, doesn’t want to be put in her car seat or taken out of her car seat, doesn’t want to go to bed or wake up. And I’m a single mom trying to manage everything on my own, including selling my house, so it needs to be left pretty clean in the morning in case of a last minute showing, which eats up the little bit of cushion I used to have to play and cuddle in the morning. I feel like a horrible mom, but I’ve hit a point of just letting her cry while I walk around the house talking to her about what I’m doing. She puts her head on the floor and wails, it’s heartbreaking. She isn’t happy in the Ergo anymore either. She is a great walker, but if I suggest that she follow me or hold my hand so I can lead her somewhere, she falls apart.
Please tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Or send strategies. Or send wine…and chocolate. And a maid. This morning was rough.
FVNC says
Wish I could send wine and chocolate, hope good thoughts and commiseration will help instead. While I didn’t have the challenge of having a house to sell, I went through similar challenges with my kiddo at around that age (maybe 15 mo). One week, she was happy to play independently in the play room while I got ready in the morning, and didn’t particularly seem to want/welcome my company; next week: barnacle. And sadness at daycare for the fist time ever (she’s been at the same center for over a year). Even when I held her, she wasn’t always happy, so eventually I did what you’re doing: making sure she’s okay (clean diaper, fed, etc.) then letting her wail while I do the absolute minimum that needs to be done to get out of the house in the morning. It sucks. But it did pass (although the daycare thing is still touch and go). It seems to be a stage; some other moms I know mentioned their young toddlers acted similarly around the same age. Hang in there.
rakma says
Sending a ton of commiseration, my 15 month old is now freaking out about everything. Had a meltdown the other morning because she was offered yogurt for breakfast and she wanted a smoothie. Letting her cry is the only thing that’s worked–she needs to get to a point where she can be calmed down, and apparently getting there requires screaming and snot and all the rest. Transitions seem to be the hardest part, talking about what we’re doing next (after we put on your coat we’re going in the stroller, and we’re going to bring bunny) helps sometimes.
Another thing that helps is having her ‘help’ me. Here’s a rag, you can ‘dust’ -she wipes the same spot for a minute then moves on, but she’s doing what I’m doing, which seems to make her happy.
I’m liking this book for an explanation of the whys of this stage: http://www.amazon.com/Your-One-Year-Old-Fun-Loving-12–24-Month-Old/dp/0440506727/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427300678&sr=1-1&keywords=your+one+year+old
(former) preg 3L says
MY nearly-14-month OLD TOO!!! Holy cow. So glad this is normal.
EB0220 says
I found that age really tough. I realized later that it was because my daughter was mobile and opinionated, but not able to communicate well. It frustrated both of us. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Despite the conventional wisdom that 2 year olds are “terrible”, I LOVED that age. She could communicate with me and was so much fun. Hang in there!
pockets says
I’m having the same issues with my 13 mo and I’m chalking it up to opinionated but not able to communicate. They have their little problems that they know can be solved (like if they’re thirsty they know it’s a fixable problem) but they can’t tell us the problem and therefore get really frustrated when it’s not immediately solved.
We have the same issue re: me getting ready vs. her not wanting to be put down. I usually bribe her with half a string cheese.
Meg Murry says
It gets better, but it sure sucks right now.
Have you asked daycare if she does that there, and what they do or how they avoid it? I suspect the answer is that they ignore it like you are, but it’s worth asking – some daycare teachers are like toddler whisperers, I swear.
One thing that helped a tiny bit was from “Happiest Toddler on the Block” – to acknowledge their feelings and put a name to it, but then keep going. “Oh kiddo is sad right now. Sad kiddo. Almost done. Ok, there, diaper change over, isn’t that better?”
She’s a little young for it, but for things like diaper change, my son started resisting them when he realized that after diaper change came bed or nap or getting in the carseat. So “taking a diaper break” or “taking a potty break” and then coming back to the activity we were doing, even if only for a few minutes, helped stop making every single transition awful.
Last, how far is daycare from your house? Can you drop her wailing self off and then come back and straighten up?
NewMomAnon says
Unfortunately, I’m about a 25 minute commute from daycare…would love to drop her off and come back home to clean up. That’s a good idea about “taking a ___ break” to ease transitions. I’ve been giving her a “count to five” when we have to transition thinking then it won’t be so abrupt, but no luck so far. I have no idea how much she understands when I talk to her, but I suspect it’s more than I know. I’ll have to get Happiest Toddler; people keep recommending it. Thanks!
Meg Murry says
Honestly, its not that great (not as good as Happiest Baby) – I’d recommend trying to find it at a library over buying it, or maybe even seeing if your library has the DVD version.
I wish someone would come out with the cliffnotes version of parenting books – don’t people who write these books know we don’t have 10 hours to spare to read them? Most articles are too short, but the book is just too long.
pockets says
especially when you consider that all the useful information in a book could probably be written on an index card.
Nonny says
The idea re transitions is a good one. We are going through exactly the same phase right now and diaper changes in particular seem to be such traumatic experiences! I’ve found that distractions help (singing songs, bringing out a toy that she doesn’t usually play with). Agreed that I believe they understand way more than we think, and are just frustrated by their inability to communicate well. I am so shocked every time my LO responds to something I’ve said and not expected her to understand. (“Let’s get ready to go to the park!” and she goes into the mudroom and comes back with her muddy buddy.)
My LO had her first full-blown temper tantrum the other day and it was because she was putting a lid on a toy dish, and expecting it to stick there (it wasn’t designed to stick on), so I gave her a Tupperware container to play with instead so she could experience the joy of making the lid stick on. Apparently that was JUST WAY TOO MUCH.
GG says
I just spilled breastmilk all over my office. PRECIOUS BREASTMILK.
JJ says
Ugh. Sorry!! That’s the worst.
Noelle says
Oh, man. Been there. Literally cried over spilled milk.
BKDC says
Yep…Been there. So, so sorry!
(former) preg 3L says
I spilled all over my grey skirt once, and had to ask a coworker to borrow a skirt while I got mine dry-cleaned. It’s the worst.
LLC says
Oh man, if someone ran a black light through my office there is no telling what horrors they would find. Spilling a bit is nearly a daily occurrence. I feel you!
ANP says
It may be too late in the day to ask, but here goes anyway: I’m in search of slim or skinny-cut, work appropriate black maternity pants for my business (casual/dressy depending on the day) office. I’m just about in the 3rd trimester of my 3rd pregnancy, so bonus points for full-panel instead of the semi-panel style. I can’t find anything I love and don’t want to spend a TON of money since I won’t be wearing these much longer (this will be my/our last pregnancy/baby). With all the flowing maternity tops I’m wearing, a skinnier-cut trouser seems to balance better. Any recs?
NewMomAnon says
Have you looked at the J Crew Minnie Maternity pants? I found out about them after my kiddo was born when several pregnant co-workers were raving about them. I don’t know whether they have a full panel or not.
BKDC says
These don’t offer much in the way of support. The version I bought last year seemed to be their regular style, but with some extra elastic in the waistband. That being said, they did the trick for me. I’m even thinking of trying them on now as I’m 6 month post partum to see if I can incorporate them into my wardrobe.
JEB says
I haven’t looked to see if anything fits your description, but I had great luck with maternity pants from Loft. They were actually nicer than some of my regular work pants, and I’m a little sad not to be wearing them anymore!
Chi Squared says
Yes, 2nd Loft maternity pants. The full panel is really snug, though. And beware, all maternity wear is return by mail only.
Anonyc says
Try Gap–I had good luck with their pants a year ago for my third pregnancy, although I prefer demi panel (my stomach was just. so. big., even for normal-sized, single babies).
Maybe it’s a third kid thing–I wore dresses mostly for kids 1 and 2, but only could bear wearing black skinny pants for kid 3. I had s, m, and l of the gap ultra skinny pants and wore them to death, including post-partum when I was still carrying a lot of the aforementioned stomach.
Mom-to-be says
Another vote for Gap! They have great maternity pants, both demi panel and full-panel. If you have a Gap Body in a mall near you, they often have a maternity section in the back, for regular Gap Maternity clothes.
Midwest Mom says
So, we’ve officially decided to start TTC baby #2! I’m so excited. I was on BC pills and got pregnant the first month off with #1. This time, however, I haven’t been taking BC pills for about 6 months and my cycles seem so inconsistent. At first I thought I had it figured out that they were just long (41 days-ish) but then had a 29 day cycle and this month I had a 14 day cycle and then another one that started last week…I think. I’ve been tracking cycles and signs on an app and have OPK test strips, but it’s just hard to know when to use them. Any advice for getting pregnant with inconsistent (and maybe long) cycles?
pockets says
I took drugs (Femara) with OPKs. Worked on the first time after only ovulating once in like 8 months. Gyn prescribed them to me. Wonderful things, those pills.
BKDC says
Are you sure that these are “cycles” or just some intermittent bleeding and spotting? I think it might be worth seeing what is up with your cycles first. Perhaps some CD3 and CD21 testing to see if youre ovulating? In the meantime, temping and OPKs should also help you determine if youre ovulating. Sorry that you’re going through this — it sounds so frustrating!
Momata says
I have long cycles (40+ days) and couldn’t use a fertility monitor because of it. Old school temping worked for me.
LLC says
Ovulation kits made it easy for me when I couldn’t quite nail down the exact dates. Good luck!
Merabella says
Does anyone have suggestions on books to read for raising boys? I guess in my mind I never thought of having a son, just because I never really had boys around when I was a kid (single mother and older sister). It seems like there are a lot of them available, but I don’t know what to pick. I’m not really looking for a book with a religious bent, since we aren’t really religious, but I’m not opposed to it as long as it is good.
ANP says
So I’m super late to this question, but I can commiserate with your “never really had boys around” experience. My Dad was pretty much absentee (workaholic) when I was young and my parents divorced when I was 13 so it was really just me, my mom and my sister growing up…PLUS I ended up going to an all women’s college! We had a daughter first and a son second but when we found out a boy was on the way it totally rocked my world. That said, I have no book recs for you but just want to note that boys are great! And, if you have any sort of notion of how you want your kids in general to turn you, you should be fine. Not that reading isn’t good, just that you probably have more skills in this area than you’re giving yourself credit for.
D. Meagle says
Looking for advice on how to handle a situation. Based on our work schedules, I am home with the kids in the morning until the nanny comes, and my husband gets home earlier and relieves the nanny at the end of the day. Kids are 2.5 and 6 months. In the morning, I get all three of us ready — cleaned, dressed and fed — before the nanny arrives. It was rough in the beginning, but we kind of have a routine. When I get home at night, I feel like everything is in shambles. The baby is usually in the crib, but fully dressed, so I have to change his diaper and put him in pajamas. The 2.5 year old may or may not be in pajamas, but in any event is in my bed (watching TV or passed out). My husband is vegging in bed also. I understand that he is tired from a long day at work, but I struggle with why he can’t really impose any structure on the night schedule. There are a few times each month when he has to work late, so in addition to my morning with the kids, I leave work early and handle nighttime; I’m tired and stressed, but I manage to get everyone in pajamas and clean diapers, read a story, make a bottle, so that when husband gets home, everyone is in pajamas sleeping in their own bed.
The baby is a decent sleeper so far, but we are having a lot of sleep problems with the 2.5 y/o. I feel like a few nights of a structured routine, even if it involves tears, is going to do a world of wonder with the sleeping issue, but my husband just doesn’t seem to have the energy/discipline to see it through.
So my questions are (1) do you think 2.5 years of sleep problems can be overcome with a few nights of routine? and (2) how do I express this to my husband and tell him he needs to be a team player? I understand that a lot of the stress is initially going to fall on him, as I often don’t get home until after 8, and he would need to do this on his own, but at the same time, I hate coming home at night and having to deal with changing the baby and getting a 2.5 y/o into bed…
rakma says
So I’m no help on the first question since DD is younger than your oldest, but my gut says a bedtime routine would be the place to start.
For the second part, does your husband see any of this as an issue? Does he know you think it is?
I guess that’s step one- he needs to know that you are not OK with changing the baby when you get home, and not OK with 2.5 yo falling asleep in your bed. After that it’s a matter of figuring out what works for everyone. Can the nanny change the 6mo into pj’s so it’s just a matter of a diaper change before bed? Can you hash out a new bedtime routine and start it on the weekend so he’s got support for the first couple of days?
Mom-to-be says
I’m seeking a maternity trench or other dressy jacket. It’s getting to be spring in my area, and I need something I can wear to work. I’m looking for the kind of jacket that will dress up jeans, or be appropriate with dress pants. I have a navy non-maternity one that I wear in spring, but I need a maternity one. All suggestions appreciated!
CHL says
Love my Isabella Oliver maternity blazer in grey/stone. Got compliments every time I wore it and I still wear it after baby…