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If you, like me, are always freezing, this light but substantial scarf is a must. I like the blend of wool and cashmere, as well as the zillion colors it comes in — I haven’t tried to wash the one I got last season, but I plan to throw it in the washer with delicates and airdry it. It was $98, but is now marked to $58 at Nordstrom’s clearance sale. Nordstrom Tissue Weight Wool & Cashmere Wrap
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
TBK says
I can’t seem to stay away from that picture of the Syrian boy. He looks like one of mine when he’s asleep. I feel like I could reach through the screen and touch him, and his eyelashes would flutter open and close again, and he’d snuggle into me the way my own boy does when he falls asleep on me. You hear parents say when they hear bad things on the news “I just want to go home and hug my kids.” I didn’t understand until I had my own. Every child looks like mine now. I donated money yesterday when I first saw the photo. Sometimes I feel like I give money as a sort of sacrifice — like, here take this money and in exchange keep this bad thing away from my own sons. I know bad things happen to children every day, and every night I feel so lucky to have two healthy boys sleeping in their cribs, but that photo just makes it so tangible.
mascot says
I give myself permission not to look at pictures like these because it upsets me so much. Same with news stories, FB posts, etc. Being a parent has absolutely changed me like that. Pre-child, I was happy to volunteer at children’s hospitals, etc. Post child, nope. Although I do work with other organizations that help kids- preventing childhood hunger and anti-bullying.
CHJ says
Me too. That picture has really affected me. I sat by my son’s crib last night for a while and cried, just thinking of that family and their circumstances, versus how privileged we are that our little boy is sleeping safely in his bedroom.
One of my friends posted on Facebook this morning, “If your heart hurts from all the atrocities you are being shown, give until it hurts.” Here’s a good article on ways to help (it’s UK-focused, but lots of good links):
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/5-practical-ways-you-can-help-refugees-trying-to-find-safety-in-europe-10482902.html
Spirograph says
Thanks for this link; I also specifically came over here to see what you ladies were saying/doing in the wake of that picture (which I heard about on my commute in this morning and then looked at – against my better judgement, particularly given that my mascara is not waterproof – once I got to work). The stories coming out of the refugee crisis are just awful, and I want to do something, but it’s so overwhelming I didn’t even know where to start.
NewMomAnon says
Dang, now I’m crying in my office….
I don’t see the giving so much as a barter for bad things not to happen – it’s more of a recognition that we’re all parents, and if anything bad were to threaten our children, other parents would do the same for us. Excuse me while I make a bunch of donations.
JJ says
I was literally coming on here to comment about that picture and how I’ve been close to tears all day because of it. Even my husband, the world’s most stoic man, was visibly upset when he was reading about it this morning (the picture was on the front page of the WSJ).
LSC says
Someone posted that photo on FB, so I saw it without warning and without meaning to. I would never have looked it up on my own. But I feel selfish for wanting to shield myself from it at the same time: why should I live in happy ignorance when there is that much suffering happening? It’s so very heartbreaking.
Lorelai Gilmore says
Me too. I made a donation to IRC this morning. That baby looks like my baby, and it is breaking my heart.
Photo says
I’m glad this posted here. My children’s toilet contains cleaner water than many children drink. I struggle mightily with this. How did we get so lucky? And, how can I help/keep the same bad things from happening to my children.
I think having kids is the great equalizer. It’s easy to keep “others” at a distance when nearly everything about them is different from you. But, once you have a child, that love the for the child is felt whether you are a refugee, a wealthy uppermiddle class parent, or an impoverished parent in a war-torn country.
TBK says
So true.
AEK says
This is on my mind, too. On my heart.
Anonx says
Yes..it is heart wrenching to see the picture. I urge you also think how USA contributed to this crisis and make your voice heard through your votes. American made weapons are being used by ISIS to kill these civilians and destroy cities. Government should be responsible and not have supplying arms (any other assistance which frees up money to buy arms) to any extremist groups as an part of its foreign policy. Government can enforce sanctions on any one buying oil from ISIS controlled oil fields and deprive the organization of its funding. All it needs is strong political will.No amount of feeling sad and donations can take the place of a sound government policy.
Marriage After Baby? says
How did having kids change or impact your marriage? I’m not a mom yet, but my husband and I would like to start trying for a baby in the next 12-24 months. We both really want kids and are excited to start our family in the somewhat near future. However, one of my biggest concerns about having kids is how it may impact our relationship/marriage (both my husband & I are children of divorced parents, so I’m may be overly concerned about this than most people). We have a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship that I’m really proud of, but I know that having kids will greatly diminish the time we have to focus on our marriager. Any stories, feedback or input from the hive is greatly appreciated.
(was) due in june says
That recent wapo.com article about how having a baby is the worst thing ever for a marriage for the first year or so is definitely ringing true for me.
LSC says
Different couples weather this differently, but if it is any comfort to you I feel like my relationship with my husband is deeper and sweeter than before. My child is ten months old. We don’t spend as much time just hanging out together and pursuing mutual interests, but I love seeing him being “dad.” He is an amazing father, which makes him a better partner to me. You didn’t ask, but I’ll give you my opinion anyway: the key is to LET your husband embrace that role. I have seen too many couples where the wife has assumed all childcare duties by default or out of a need to retain control, and that is a recipe for disaster. So long as you focus on parenthood and marriage as a team effort, you will be fine.
Claudette says
This has (mostly) been our experience too — having our daughter has absolutely brought my husband and me closer, which is not to say that it hasn’t also been a challenge for us dealing with the sleep deprivation, increased responsibilities, decreased alone time, etc. So I’ll second the advice as well. In our case, my husband was able to stay home with our daughter for about two months during the summer (while she was six to seven months old), which helped him feel competent and confident caring for her on his own and helped me relinquish some control.
JJ says
This is my experience, as well. We have two toddler boys and I would say our marriage is better, deeper, and closer than it was before kids. It’s not without work – sometimes it’s so easy to take the day’s frustrations out on your spouse simply because they’re the only person that it’s “safe” to do so. But when we find ourselves doing that, we stop and apologize.
We prioritize a happy marriage and working on it for several reasons. One, because when the kids are older, we still want to be happily married when it’s just to two of us again. Two, because I want to model a good marriage for our sons and so they know how to treat their significant others. I also absolutely second the advice to let your husband embrace his role. Does my husband parent the exact way I would want him to? Nope! But he loves our boys, they adore him, they’re safe, they’re thriving, and everyone is happy. Let go of any desire to control their relationship (which is hard!).
Anon says
Baby isn’t born yet so can’t speak to this too much, but consider reading “And Baby Makes Three” by John Gottman. The Gottman Institute also offers a relationship workshop for new or expecting parents we went to and I’d recommend if it’s offered in your area. Lots of tips for how to make your relationship strong enough to survive the first year–and even be happy in your marriage.
Carrie M says
My limited experience (only 18 months in, and only one kid): it can be hard at times, your relationship will change, but change isn’t always a bad thing. You’ll figure out ways to keep your relationship healthy that work for the two of you, and those ways might not work for other couples. Just keep the lines of communication open. Be honest with each other, and try to have an open and ongoing dialogue re parenting style, discipline, what works/doesn’t. We do semi-regular check-ins: are we dividing labor in a way that works? are we happy? do we feel like things are missing from our lives? The answers change over time, as they should.
On romance: We tried to institute a one night/month “date night.” We stuck with it for a while but have kind of fallen off recently with so many summer weekends with friends and traveling. We have friends who do date night once a week – they love it and they prioritize it and it makes them happy, which makes them better parents. You’ll figure out what works for you.
Kind of random, but also related: My husband read something recently re how spouses should talk to each other like their strangers, because otherwise you can fall into a bad habit of treating a person you’re so close with badly. So sometimes when I’m snippy with him, he’ll introduce himself like he’s a stranger. That might get annoying over time, but right now, I appreciate the reminder and get where he’s coming from.
And I agree with LSC above. It’s awesome to see my husband as a father, and to watch his relationship with our child grow and change. It’s so sweet to see them together.
I think it’s great that you’re already thinking about this, pre-kids, and I would start the dialogue now with your spouse so that you’re both thinking and talking about it.
mascot says
I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating. Don’t keep score. I know the idea is that you are splitting parenting 50/50, but there will be days where you both feel like you are doing 100% of the work. Accept that.
Also, raising little people is hard. Discipline is hard. You are going to look at how you were raised and see things you want to keep and things you want to change in parenting. Your spouse will likely have a different interpretation at times. You’ll both have a goal of how you want your child(ren) to act and no clue how to best effectuate that. As with any other hard task you face in life, communicate with each other and stand as a team. You’ll figure it out.
NewMomAnon says
On the other hand – let your spouse know when you are overwhelmed. Things won’t be 50/50, but I think some women hear this and think that means it’s normal to shoulder too much work and feel overwhelmed all the time. It isn’t normal, and your relationship will suffer if your spouse doesn’t take on a roughly equal share of the responsibilities in a way that works for both of you.
PregLawyer says
My son is 11 weeks now, and my relationship with my husband is wonderful. But, I chose him as a partner in part because I knew he wanted to be an equal partner in parenting. He and I took our time off together so we were able to start splitting things 50/50 from the beginning. I pump so he can do half the feedings. He learns ways to soothe the baby and teaches me, just like I teach him. He is completely all-in as a primary caregiver.
Because of that, our relationship has only gotten stronger. We reach out to give each other breaks instead of having to ask for them. We talk a lot about what to do and how to handle the care of our baby. We also transitioned the baby quickly to the crib so we could have our bedroom to ourselves. Just some things that work for us.
LC says
Reposting from yesterday in the hopes of getting more replies:
Has anyone gotten pressured by their supervisor to shorten their maternity leave? If so, how did you deal with it?
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and my boss has made abundantly clear his expectation that I work up until the end. (Example: the person covering for me is starting two business days before my due date, and my boss expressed his delight that the two of us “would have at least a few days of overlap.”) I’m having an uncomplicated pregnancy so far, and have only recently started feeling the tiredness and achiness creep in — but regardless, I feel kind of resentful of the expectation. As if that’s not annoying enough, an even bigger problem is that my boss still expects me to cover an enormous project with an internal deadline a couple of weeks after I return from leave. There is no way I’ll be able to finish the project in a couple of weeks, so I feel like his position is a not-s0-thinly veiled attempt to get me to come back earlier, and/or to come back and work like a dog to get this done. I’m not planning to take a ton of time off — about 15 weeks, mostly unpaid.
I’m really not sure how to handle this. When I first shared the news of my pregnancy, I was told to “take as much time as I need.” But now that the reality of my being out is creeping in, I feel like that’s definitely not the expectation.
Meg Murry says
I think you need to meet with him and make sure he understands that there is a chance there will be NO overlap. Some people really don’t understand that due dates are not a magical day on which the baby will appear – it is actually a target, and is pretty much +/- 2 weeks.
Have you laid it out to him on a calendar? Some people just really aren’t good with dates in their heads and aren’t thinking about the fact that, say, if you come back in late January and have a deadline of the first week of March, that is only 6 weeks – at first glance it’s too easy to say “January, February, March – 3 months, no problem”. I know this is a problem where I work unless we look at a weekly calendar and Gantt it out with milestones.
I think you need to meet with him and say “actually, doctor says baby could come anytime between [2 weeks before due date] and [due date] and be normal, or could even be premature, so lets talk about my interim transition plan before I go on leave, and what needs to happen while I’m gone in order to meet [big deadline] when I come back.”
Carrie M says
I agree with Meg. You need to sit down with him and make a plan both for before and after your leave. You want to be sure that you’re on the same page in terms of expectations and requirements. I would also document everything. I’m just thinking of worst-case scenario…you have the baby early or you come back later than anticipated, and something doesn’t get done that he wanted you to do…and then he uses that as a basis later down the line to ding you on a performance review or something. I realize that’s worst-case, but I would CYA now to avoid any problems later.
Meg Murry says
Although I would add that at most places I’ve worked 15 weeks is slightly beyond the norm. FMLA would cover up to 12 weeks, and technically you could use up all your vacation to extend beyond that, but that was usually with your manager’s approval of you taking vacation to extend your leave, so most people took 10-14 weeks, 15 would probably be the max, because it took a while to get to the point of more than 3 weeks of vacation a year – and that meant not having a single day of sick leave or vacation left when you came back.
I totally get you wanting 15 weeks of leave, and anywhere outside the US I think that would be “not that long” – but I think you need to look at your office norms – because yes, I think it is possible that this is your manager passive aggressively saying “I know I told you you could take 15 weeks off, but I really want you back in the office and back up to 100% as soon as possible, so here’s your deadline, you figure out how to manage it.” What are your written office policies, and what have people actually done in practice regarding leave? I agree with Carrie M that it is possible you are being setup to fail (either on purpose or just due to oversight).
Besides working your butt off, what will it take to get the project done on the deadline? More hands – someone else assigned to assist you on the project? A temp? the person filling in for you to do X, Y and Z? Or is it a matter of something that physically takes a certain number of weeks, and the only way to do that is to start it before your proposed day back in the office?
Jen says
I do agree that while it should not be, in the US, 15 weeks is above the norm. I work for and have always worked or fortune 500 companies. Mat leave policies have varied, but 15weeks would be a lot at all of them. We’ve had between 10 and 12, and a mix of 100% paid- FMLA ST disability pay + pay, FMLA + unpaid (or use vacation)….etc.
If this is your plan anyway, could you somehow “transition back part time” slowly?
LC says
Thanks for these responses. I know 15 weeks is above the norm nationally, but in my office it is at the low end of what people typically take — I’m also including the week pre due-date that I am taking (on my doctor’s advice given my need for frequent NSTs). Most people here take 4-6 months post-baby. (Govt job, not a ton of paid leave, but lots of protection for unpaid leave.)
I’m going to talk to my boss about coming up with a plan, and see what he says.
LSC says
Ignore the hints and stand your ground. Tell your boss the internal deadline is not realistic given the circumstances and ask whether an extension is possible. If it’s not, ask what help you can enlist to have someone working on the project while you are out. No one is going to do what is best for you but yourself, so don’t be afraid to be your own advocate.
Claudette says
Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful advice last week about our “reckless endangerment” nanny situation. We ended up letting her go, had my parents come up to take care of the baby while we searched for a replacement, and have already found a nanny who we think will be excellent. The new nanny starts next week. What a relief!
Spriograph says
I’m glad to see this! I didn’t see those posts until it was too late to comment, but I think you made a good decision in finding back up care and letting her go immediately. We had to let our nanny go (for cause, but not enough of a cause that we felt justified in not paying severance), and I just would not have felt comfortable giving her notice and then continuing to leave my child with her. I hope your new nanny works out!
Claudette says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
Glad to hear it! And good luck with the new nanny.
Halloween? says
Ideas for a 2 year old girl for halloween? Let’s assume y’all don’t live on my block or send your kids to my daycare so we won’t have twinsies.
She’ll be at daycare during the day before and I assume they’ll have a halloween party…and trick-or-treating to our immediate neighbors at night. I think our down does a trunk-or-treat we might hit up as well for 10 minutes or so.
CHJ says
Costco had some really cute costumes last year. DS was an owl, one of his friends was an elephant, and another friend was a lady bug. My plan is to start there and see what they have. Carters and Pottery Barn also make really adorable costumes.
mascot says
+100 to the costco costumes. We’ve bought several firefighter costumes and they have been very durable for playing dress-up.
Anonymama says
Omg my kid wore that thing like 4 days a week for months!
Midwest Mama says
For the Halloween when my DD had just turned 2, I wasn’t sure how she would feel about wearing a costume.
So I just dressed her in a long-sleeved black shirt, black leggings, and black socks and bought cat ears/tail in case she was interested. She ended up wearing it and it was just fine for her at that age. I really don’t think she would have kept on something more “costumey” so maybe something as close to clothes as you can get would work well for a 2 yo.
ANP says
What’s she into? Our eldest was OBSESSED with Elmo at that age so we bought her an Elmo costume. Our middle son loved Mickey (and had outgrown the Elmo costume), so there you go. One thing I will say is that if you’re planning to have more kids, getting something unisex when they’re little — and don’t really care what they dress up as for Halloween — then you can reuse it in the future.
Also: RESIST PINTEREST. There are way too many people out there DIYing the sh!t out of super elaborate costumes…thinking about doing that makes me want to lie down and take a nap.
Jen says
The minions (not sure I want to go that route), curious George (all costumes are creepy), an an obscure British book about pigs. She was a pig last year. I found a flamingo costume I love but don’t want 2 pink costumes in a row.
Yes daycare has costumes- they have a parade too. It’s just a “come dressed regular and bring the costume”. I’m less concerned with daycare; she can wear a skeleton t shirt.
She has a dress up bin and lives in goofy outfits so keeping on should be NBD for a few hours.
Meg Murry says
I wouldn’t necessarily assume there will be a Halloween party unless you know there was one last year. Our daycare doesn’t do Halloween parties and has a no costumes that aren’t just clothes policy. I think they may have read books about Halloween and maybe decorated mini-pumpkins with paint or markers, but that was about it – the emphasis was on fall in general more than Halloween.
I’d suggest a cute Halloween shirt, and save the costume for outside of daycare unless you know there is a party.
My go-to for little kids is to turn a hooded sweatsuit into an animal with ears – so pin on monkey, dog, cat, bear, etc ears made out of felt onto a hoodie. If they will let me put a circle of felt pinned to it for a tummy, or a sock or tights stuffed with cotton for a tail, even better. – but the earred sweatsuit is usually cute enough for us, and then the hoodie can be re-worn.
anne-on says
Does your daycare have rules about costumes? Our had us send in a change of clothes (since most toddlers didn’t keep the outfits on very long) and wouldn’t allow weapons, or superheroes. At 2 my son very strongly insisted on being a firefighter. Pottery barn also has really cute costumes, but FYI the maker also distributes them on amazon for quite a bit cheaper.