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Am I the only one who, in winter, has been known to take my scarf off and add it as another layer to my child’s bunting? For a long time I used to keep a very thin cashmere scarf in my diaper bag anyway, just for that very reason — I even used to pull it out in restaurants that were too cold. It packed down better than most of the hoodies or sweaters, and I didn’t have to remember to keep changing the size. I like this wool/cashmere scarf from Nordstrom — all of the color combos look lovely. It’s part of Nordstrom’s clearance sale — was $98, NOW $65. Nordstrom ‘Peacock Tissue’ Wool Cashmere Blend Wrap
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Two Cents says
Has anyone tried one of those corset types of devices for shrinking a belly postpartum? And if so, which do you recommend and does it work? I never considered it with my first child because I had a c-section and a painful incision, but I had a VBAC this time around and no pain in that area, so I’m considering it.
NewMomAnon says
This site actually had a post on those, and it was really interesting –
http://corporettemoms.com/postpartum-corsets/
CPA Lady says
I used the Bellefit corset thingy. I started it a week after my C-section, it was awesome. It actually really helped support my weak abs and didn’t bother my incision. I wore it pretty consistently for a month or two, then stopped since I was basically back to pre-pregnancy normal-ish at that point. Yeah, it was a lot of money to spend on something I only wore a couple of months, but it worked really well for me, so I considered it to be “worth it”.
Oh, and sorry if this is TMI, but I wore it over depends (which I used rather than those giant pads), for the first week or so when I was still bleeding pretty heavily, and it fit just fine, even between the legs.
Bellefit says
I have a question just on this exact issue; hope you’re still reading. With a C you have to wear higher waisted underwear, but can you roll up the bellefit far enough when you have to go to the bathroom? It just seems too tight to be able to roll up that far but I don’t see how you could wear underwear over it because of the flaps.
CPA Lady says
I didn’t have a problem with not being able to pull it up far enough. I’m pretty hourglass shaped, and it would have probably rolled up on its own if I didn’t have the flap hooked. It is pretty tight, but you can definitely pull it up.
Bellefit says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
I used one round the clock (Bellefit corset) after my vaginal birth. I wore it for about a month and I really feel like it helped. I stopped using it when I felt like everything was getting back to normal, and now, a year later, my stomach is completely flat again (I even have abs from yoga, which I started again when she was about 9 months old).
d says
I felt silly about paying so much for a vanity item but it was totally worth it. I was size 4/6 before the pregnany and gained 45 lbs – I wore the size small bellefit for 3 weeks and the size extra small for another 3 weeks – by 6 weeks pp I was pretty much back into my normal size clothes (except in the chest area, that stayed G+ until I stopped nursing.Ugh.) I had a C section and didn’t have any problem wearing the bellefit over the incision.
Midwest In-House says
Daycare question: My daughter recently moved to a new class at daycare and one of her teachers seems to be a smoker (or at least lives with a very heavy smoker). I will admit that I am pretty sensitive to smoke, especially now that most restaurants, etc. don’t allow it, but this morning when the teacher came over to greet my daughter, it was so overpowering. Even worse is that I can smell it in the classroom, even when the teacher isn’t there (not all day, but if she has been there recently). Am I out of line in saying something to the school’s director? I’ve done a bit of research and it seems like this “third-hand smoke” does pose legitimate health risks to my child. I’m not entirely sure what solutions there are (maybe ask that she keep her work clothes at school and change there?), but I also don’t know that its my job to find a solution. Thoughts?
JJ says
I think it’s reasonable to mention it once to the school’s director and gauge her reaction. I’m sure it would not be a surprise to the director that this teacher has such a strong odor, especially if you can smell it in the class room. I also suspect that other parents are bothered by this, as well – I would be.
Ultimately, though, there are a few states the prohibit employers from taking any type of action against employees for engaging in lawful behavior while not at work (like smoking). I don’t know if this would apply to you, but it is something to consider and whether it would be worth looking at other daycares if the director is unhelpful in what you (and probably others) perceive to be a potential health risk.
Sarabeth says
I would think that even if a daycare could not require an employee not to smoke, they could require her to take whatever steps are necessary not to smell like smoke at work. I’m not a lawyer, but that’s a real distinction, right?
Sounds like an uncomfortable conversation, but I think you are well within your rights to raise the issue.
JJ says
You’re right – that’s a real distinction and it may be the answer to the problem. I tend to issue-spot (thanks, lawyer training) and know that some employers may be skittish on this issue.
JMDS says
I have no solution for this, but it would really bother me too. We used to get second hand smoke seeping into an old apartment I lived in, and I certainly felt it was affecting my health and harassed the building management until they solved the issue.
My kid isn’t in daycare, but if moving rooms was a possibility, I would consider it. I don’t know that the clothing change is something I would feel comfortable suggesting, plus she may smoke during breaks at work so that may not even help.
Spirograph says
This would bother me too, and I don’t think you’d be out of line to ask about it. I don’t think you need to pose a solution, just say you’ve noticed the smoke smell and are concerned. If they don’t do anything about it, I would seriously consider finding other childcare… The smell will probably cling to your child’s clothes, too, and I would definitely not want to pick up my toddler smelling like smoke and have it permeate the car seat, etc.
PEN says
This came up at our daycare–and it happened to be our favorite person in the room! Immediately called the director who said she would take care of it. Has not been an issue since then.
Katala says
This would definitely bother me. To tag on, any thoughts on a grandparent who smokes? The person in question is a relatively new (5ish years) spouse to my husband’s parent. First grandbaby on that side, and we do love her and are happy to have her in the family. But – I don’t want my newborn being held with his face so close to “fresh” third hand smoke, if you will.
Is this ridiculous and I should just deal? If legit, what can I say? I feel like telling a grandparent they can’t hold the baby is pretty harsh. Husband is with me and thinks we can just tell her no baby without shower/new clothes. FWIW, they live a flight away so we won’t see them often, but when we do it will be pretty much constant interaction.
ParalegalNC says
We had the same issue, but it’s a bio grandfather. We asked that he change shirts & wash hands before holding the baby. Honestly, that only lasted a few months.
Others may be bothered more, but the effects of 1 smoker’s third-hand smoke around the baby intermittently weren’t enough for me to make it my hill to die on.
JJ says
Yeah – both of my husband’s parents are smokers. They only smoke outside, but they do it a lot. For the first few months I insisted that they wash their hands, but I quickly realized that third-hand exposure to smoke a few times a month wasn’t important enough to me to keep insisting (rather than upsetting in-law relations).
Depending on how often you see your in-laws, the extent of the smoking contact, and your relationship with them, YMMV.
RDC says
Good morning ladies! Following up on yesterday’s question about daily routines with infants in daycare — how do you handle the morning, especially if still nursing? I haven’t gone back to work yet, and I can’t quite figure this out. I feel like I need to nurse right away since I wake up uncomfortably full. But I don’t want to wake up the baby that early, since right now he usually sleeps til 8. And if I wake him up to nurse, then I have to get myself ready and watch the baby at the same time? Or DH watches the baby? Or wake up, pump, get myself ready and then wake up baby and nurse? If it matters, DH will handle daycare dropoff after I leave for work.
KJ says
We had this same issue. What we did was: I would leave before baby woke up and pump as soon as I got to work. Husband would give Baby a bottle (formula or pumped milk) when she woke up and then took her to daycare. I made sure to wear nursing pads in case I leaked on the way to work. I was usually full, but never too uncomfortable.
Midwest In-House says
I used to pump before my daughter woke up (I was a firm believer in never waking a sleeping baby unless absolutely necessary). You could also try hand expressing in the shower just enough so you’ll be more comfortable. From personal experience, the morning routine is much smoother if you get completely ready before you wake up the baby, even if this means that you have to get up earlier than necessary. And honestly, most days, the hour in the morning is the only “me” time I have all day. Plus, if your little guy is still sleeping, he probably actually that much sleep!
Also, if you gradually move your first nurse or pump a bit later in the morning, your body will adjust. When my daughter was young, I definitely remember waking up uncomfortably full but once we got on a schedule, my body adjusted and didn’t produce so much milk overnight.
RDC says
Thanks, this is helpful. I suspected it would be easier for me to get ready first (although I’ll have to wake up super early, ugh). And we’re the same — don’t wake the baby! We’ll give that a try to start.
Ciao, pues says
Oh man, I had almost forgotten how bewildered I was figuring out the morning routine when I went back to work. So many moving parts!
Two things worked well for me: showering the night before and eating breakfast at work.
I echo the recs above about getting yourself ready first if it makes sense for you. You can always wear a bathrobe or something around the house if you don’t want to put on your work clothes before bfing (this was an issue for me as I almost always leaked while nursing due to a very fast letdown and heavy production) . I used to aim for bfing the baby as the last thing I did before heading out the door, then I would pump at work when I arrived while eating oatmeal at my desk and checking email/ getting myself organized for my day.
You can do this. You are amazing.
anne-on says
Yes to eating at work. Its my treat to myself to have a really hot cup of coffee at work….which I’m just not comfortable doing with a small baby or a grabby toddler.
Anonymous says
Wow … I’m always starving in the morning! I don’t think I can make it to work before eating, but maybe I can switch to a granola bar or something quicker / easier at home and save the coffee for work.
Meg Murry says
Is baby generally sleeping long stretches at night? My kids would often wake at 4 or 5 am and I’d do one last nursing session in bed, then take a catnap and leave them in our bed while I got ready for the day. You may even be able to get away with a dreamfeed for a while where you pick up sleepy baby and nurse when you first get up, then put him back in his bed (or in bed with Daddy).
If you are nursing, is your partner willing to do everything else regarding getting baby ready for the day – prepping bottles, diapers, clean clothes etc? My husband handled daycare drop-off for our oldest, and for our second one my only responsibilities were pump parts, nursing baby and doing the physical drop-off – my husband handled all diapering, dressing and packing up.
Last, if you car commute you could consider pumping and driving with freemie cups. That’s what I did when it wasn’t 0 degrees out – got setup in our own driveway, turned on pump, turned off once done and then dis-assembled in the far corner of the work parking lot once I got there. Not ideal, but since i was so used to pumping it wasn’t really any more distracting to me than anything else – and if there was a situation where I needed to stop pumping immediately, yanking out the car charger stopped the pump right away.
Midwest Mom says
When do you all find time for s*x when you’re a working mom? We have a 3 year old who is a total night owl. DH is too, if he’s even home from work yet at bedtime. I’m not. I usually have 3 yo in bed between 8 and 9, but most of the time it’s after 10 before she falls asleep and in the meantime she’s come in our room where I’m laying in bed multiple times before she’ll fall asleep. I usually fall asleep around the same time – 10ish. DH usually doesn’t come to bed until much later (midnight or later) partly because he can sleep in later in the morning and doesn’t need as much sleep. I used to get up at 6 to get ready for work, but lately I’ve been getting up at 5 to work out in the morning instead of at night to ease the nighttime routine a little. It seems my only real options are to either wake up when DH comes to bed and do it then, or forgo morning workouts and do it before getting up when 3 yo is still asleep. What do you guys do? This is particularly coming into play now because we’re going to start TTC soon.
FVNC says
Weekend naptimes or weekend mornings. We have more or less given up on anything during the week (which sounds depressing when I type it out, but for now it works for us!). For TTC, though, that probably wouldn’t work. Is there anything keeping DH from accompanying you to bed after your 3 yr old is asleep, and then going back to whatever usually keeps him up until midnight or later?
Anonymama says
Wake up 3 year old a bit earlier in the am, or shorten her afternoon nap, and make her stay in bed until she goes to sleep. Tell husband, I’m going to bed now, come with me if you wanna get laid, and he can go back to whatever it is he was doing after you are done.
Newly pregnant says
Can your husband get to bed earlier if he knows you’re going to have s*x? It’s not like he has to stay in bed when you want to go to sleep.
Spirograph says
This is our solution. I’ll go to sleep, and he’ll get up and go play more video games or whatever.
EB0220 says
I make sure that my husband knows to head to bed early on the nights we’re going to do something – otherwise he’ll be going to bed late enough that I’m ready to go to sleep, not start anything. We also like middle of the night s*x (I am more relaxed then) but YMMV. Occasionally afternoon naptime when both kids are asleep (rare but happens sometimes).
mascot says
What works for us is having kiddo in bed by 7:30-8 and reinforcing that he must stay.in.his.room. We can’t make him sleep, but his door is closed and lights are out. Both DH and I go to bed by 10:30 so those couple of hours of adult downtime (with occasional maritals) are really important for our sanity. We also can usually get one nap a weekend in so that is also a good time. Weekday mornings are too busy with my workouts and getting out the door.
Reading/writing/etc skills says
Anyone have tips or stories about teaching your kid to read/write while working full time? Another mom I know just posted a picture of a handmade, hand lettered card her son made , and I’m having one of those anxious keep-up-with-the-joneses moments.
RR says
Honestly? I let daycare and school do it and just read to my kids all the time at home. That kept it fun for us. Beyond that, don’t compare to the Joneses. Kids learn at different paces. You don’t say how old yours is, but my twins learned to read/write a year or more apart–both very smart kids.
KJ says
My LO isn’t at this stage yet, so maybe I’m ignorant, but don’t they learn that in school? I mean, other than reading to/with your kids regularly are you really supposed to teach them on your own?
mascot says
Yeah, we largely leave that stuff to his school (pre-k). He gets enough formal teaching during the week that we don’t try to add in more. We read to him consistently. Sometimes we point out letters, do word rhyming games, etc, but that is generally to keep him amused in the car or while out to eat. He seems to be right in the middle of the pack with his peers for these skills.
anon says
My mom has been a K-1st grade teacher her entire career. Do NOT force teaching reading. Each kid will learn at their own pace, being too agro about it could actually backfire. Just keep reading a lot to them, make sure they have access to their books whenever they want to, and let go of the keeping-up-with-the-joneses thing. Seriously. It is only going to get worse as they get older. Just keep exposing your kids to learning and information and they will do it at their own pace. You are fine!!
Meg Murry says
Honestly – if she’s a SAHM she has time for that. If not, there is a good chance the child has learned it as much or more from daycare or nanny than from Mom & Dad. Unless the child is going through a letters phase right now (my son is, after daycare has taught him so much) and WANTS to spend the evenings drawing letters on paper instead of building with blocks or watching Curious George, there’s no way to push it.
ANP says
Hive, I have a second round full-day interview next week and will be 21 weeks pregnant. I wore a black sheath dress and black-and-white tweed blazer for my first round (I’d typically interview in a suit, but haven’t found a decent maternity version). I would love to wear slacks and a blazer for the second round but haven’t figured out the logistics of tucking in a button-down maternity shirt. I mean, I’d never tuck a button down shirt into maternity pants if I wasn’t interviewing, but it seems too casual to leave the shirttails hanging out. Why is this stumping me so badly? Do I just go with more of a cowl-neck or dressy non-button-down shirt instead?
anne-on says
Can you wear a silk shell? I wore something a bit like this when I was pregnant and interviewing and it looked more intentional when I left it untucked:
https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/shirtsandtops/sleeveless/PRD~B1173/B1173.jsp?N=21+17+10031&Nbrd=J&Nloc=en_US&Nrpp=100&Npge=1&Nsrt=3&isSaleItem=true&color_name=BLACK&isFromSale=true&isNewSearch=true&hash=row9
If you’re on the smaller side JCrew has some cute sale shirts that would be nice maternity clothes or postpartum stuff.
NewMomAnon says
I interviewed about that time and managed to find a pair of maternity pants that had more of an elasticized waistband instead of the full panel. I think I wore a dressy top with a peplum under my blazer though – I think it would have looked weird to try to tuck a shirt into my pants by that time. I would lean toward either a top with a peplum (so it obviously is not meant to be tucked in) or a non-button-front top that you can either tuck into pants (if you’re carrying in such a way that that is possible) or leave out over the top of a pair of pants with full panel. And good luck!!!
Katala says
When I had to suit up (client meeting, not an interview) at 25 weeks, I wore gap maternity perfect trousers, open black suit jacket (different material than the pants, but hey I’m pregnant) and found that a top with elastic at the bottom worked pretty well. Gave more of a tucked in appearance without actually tucking, because yeah that’s not happening until well after baby arrives. I think something where it’s less obvious you’re not tucking vs. button down where it’s clear should work.
Good luck!!
sfg says
I go the dressy non-button down top route. I wear Theory’s maternity suit pants with my non-maternity Theory jacket – even though they have the elastic panels in the waistband, if I were to tuck in a shirt, it’s still pretty obvious IMO.
Tunnel says
You can try wearing a form fitting maternity tank underneath and then tuck the button-down shirt under the tank bottom. It’s hard to explain, but I did it a couple of times successfully and it looked good.
KJ says
Well, I’ve been pumping for 8 months now, so I guess it was inevitable: Someone just walked in on me pumping. It was the woman who empties the trash, and I guess I forgot to lock the door. She opened my office door without knocking, walked in to get the trash can, left the door wide open, emptied the trash and left. When I said “EXCUSE ME” she just said “Sorry” and continued about her business. I think I have a full body blush going on right now. At least no one walked by while the door was open, or I would have spontaneously died.
Meg Murry says
Ugh, so sorry. Any chance you did lock the door but she has keys?
Given her blasé reaction, chances are she’s walked in on worse?
Anonymous says
to me it’s funny to think in the larger, socio-economic sense. you hear a lot about the working poor being invisible, but I guess she just didn’t see you!
PPD? says
I’m not sure what I’m asking here, but I’m about 7 weeks post partum and I feel like I’m struggling. I thought I started to feel like myself about a week ago, but today, I went to a moms group and I really felt like I was “behind” everyone else. Everyone seemed to be so put together and to handle their new babies so well. I left in tears and cried the whole way home. I’m not sure if these feelings are normal adjustment, or if I should be worried. I don’t feel sad and I love my baby very much, just feeling overwhelmed and find myself crying more so than normal. Anyone have any experience with PPD or is this just part of the adjustment post partum?
NewMomAnon says
I remember feeling the same way – all the other moms would talk about the things they did while baby took long naps three times a day, and how they had a “feeding schedule” and went to playdates, and the routines they were working out with their husbands so they could do laundry and get pedicures. I would just sit there with spit-up covering my shirt, a baby who never slept unless she was nursing (so she ALWAYS NURSED and dad could do nothing to help), with the sinking feeling that I had already failed as a mother. That lasted MONTHS. In fact, until I successfully sleep trained and started getting some sleep and alone time, I think it was a constant feeling of failure.
Truth: My kiddo is now a year old, sleeps through the night, eats solid food, I rarely have spit up on my person now, and things are a million times easier. You will get through this too, and it is never wrong to ask for affirmations that you are doing OK. The newborn phase is really, really hard, but mercifully short.
PPD? says
Thank you so much for sharing. That’s exactly hoe I’m feeling now. It makes me feel better to know it’s not just me and that things will get better.
NewMomAnon says
The clouds started clearing when my baby was about 4.5 or 5 months old – she was not so needy anymore, she was much more interactive and I had figured out how to interpret her needs so she didn’t cry as much, I had gone back to work and daycare was an amazing sanity saver. Plus, she was smiley and giggly and that made it so much easier than the angry newborn weeks. You’ll get there. It won’t be “easy” once you get there, but it will be so much better, and so much more rewarding.
HM says
4-5 months is when we started feeling like we had a groove, too. But don’t compare yourself to other mothers, either. You may see them on the best day they’ve had in a long while, whereas you know what your daily life is.