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One of my first makeup splurges after I got my first real lawyer job was a compact of NARS blush in Orgasm. For years, it’s been my go-to blush. When my complexion looks a little blah, a quick swirl on my cheeks perks everything up.
This pressed powder blush is made from “silky, superfine micronized powder pigments,” that blend and build seamlessly. My favorite shade, Orgasm, is a universally flattering, shimmery, peachy pink. For late summer, I’d like to try Torrid, a shimmery coral, or Bumpy Ride, a bright pink.
For those who prefer a matte finish, there are several flattering choices as well.
NARS Blush is available at Sephora for $30 and comes in a number of shades in both shimmer and matte finishes.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
I know this has been discussed before, but I am curious, at what age would you feel comfortable leaving kids alone at home (both awake and asleep?) What would you want them to know/learn before leaving them alone?
Anonanonanon says
I started leaving my son home alone for short periods (picking his sister up from the preschool 5 minutes away, etc.) when he was about 10.5. He’s 11 now and I sometimes leave him home for up to 4 hours during daylight hours.
He has a cell phone, and I tell a neighbor that he is there. He has those neighbors’ numbers. He knows to never go near or answer the door NO MATTER WHAT. I made sure he knows that if I forget my keys, I’d call him. If I forget my keys and my phone is dead, I’d call him from a neighbor’s phone. In other words, zero reason it would be me knocking at the door. I also have a Nest Cam on our main floor for when he is home alone and ask him to stay in view of it. My husband, my mom, and I have access to the Nest Cam feed so if I’ll be driving for a while, for example, I’ll ask one of them to keep an eye on it. I leave him a prepared lunch so there is no reason to use the microwave or oven.
I’m not yet comfortable leaving him at home alone asleep. I don’t trust his groggy judgment. On the flip side, I live in a neighborhood of townhomes, and I’ve been on the next-door neighbor’s back porch or in their living room with the baby monitor on when my youngest was asleep as a baby.
Anon says
there was a big discussion about this one day last week
Anon says
I want to say middles school (so like 11), but my kids are still little so I’m sure my opinion could change once I’m closer to that situation.
Anonymous says
I was the one that started the discussion last week- check back for comments there. My oldest is 8 and she stays home alone for brief stints. I don’t like the younger siblings home alone.
I can see myself letting them all stay home alone (through bedtime but not overnight) for the evening when my oldest can truly babysit–maybe 14 (so ages 14/11/9). Maybe a year later.
Anon says
I think “alone” is such a continuum—from being in a different room, but still within shouting distance; to being outside while the child is inside or vice versa, but still within shouting distance; to being home, but not within shouting distance, to leaving for 5 minutes to walk something to a neighbor’s to leaving for longer…
It depends on the kid and local dangers, but I think being left alone needs to start early and have increasing distance/time from the time a child is quite young so the child knows you believe them to be capable and that they are capable. By kindergarten, I think the average child should be able to handle being alone for 5 minutes while a parent drops something off a few houses down.
RR says
I have been leaving my now 13-year-olds home alone for small periods of time since around 11. Only now at 13 do I feel comfortable leaving them alone with my 7 year old. And I felt comfortable doing that with my 13 year old daughter before my son (just because of personality/responsibility levels). I don’t leave my 7 year old home alone, although occasionally she beats the nanny to the hours by 5-10 minutes when she gets off the bus.
2 Cents says
Fwiw, i was left home alone by myself for short periods (30 minutes?) when I was about 9 and watched my younger brother and two younger neighborhood kids after the bus brought us home when I was 10 back in the early 90s.
Anon says
help! over the past week, my 3 year old twins have suddenly started behaving like feral cats. taking each other’s toys, pulling hair, biting, wanting to be held 24/7 by mom, etc. i’ve read how to talk so little kids will listen and siblings without rivalry, but any tips? i do a decent amount of solo parenting and they are almost too big for me to hold both at the same time, and i can’t really hold either, if i need to do something like make dinner. i had finally felt like things were getting a bit easier bc they’d developed some sense of self preservation, but now i’m worried about them hurting each other. both are agressors/victims
Anonymous says
That’s 3 year olds
Spirograph says
Yup.
They probably won’t seriously hurt each other, if it makes you feel any better. Do you have places you can separate them? When my kids are acting like feral cats I just split them up. “I don’t like to listen to all that fighting. If you can’t share and keep your bodies to yourselves, you are not allowed to play together. you, upstairs. you, downstairs. you, outside. You can try again in 10 minutes.”
Anon says
we are in an apartment but have their bedroom/the living room. how do you get the kids to actually abide by that 10 minutes? especially bc whoever is in the living room would get to be with/see mommy. the only behavior that actually concerns me is the biting in terms of anyone getting seriously hurt.
Anonymous says
Close the door and send them back
Spirograph says
Use a timer. In fact, you probably want to start with shorter time (1-3 minutes) just so that they can learn to associate the timer sound with end-of-time-out.
If you haven’t read 1-2-3 Magic, I highly recommend it. 3 is a good age to start. The purpose of the time out is for them to reset, and I find that it works best if they can’t see or interact with anyone else (they can, however, do whatever is soothing or fun while they’re alone). If it’s safe for them to be in your bedroom, I’d send one there with a stuffed animal, toy, or book. Otherwise, just make sure you don’t interact with the one in the living room until the timer goes. If you need to put them back where they belong, just physically move them, calmly, with minimal/no talking.
Anonymous says
I’d start with minutes per year of age – 10 minutes is a lot. So three minutes, they each sit on their beds and look at books (or stay in their rooms if they share a room). If they are both in there I leave the door open so I can hear. Timer restarts if they get up before the timer is done. Only takes a couple times of doing this before they learn. Make sure you remind them every time that if they get up, or throw a book the timer has to restart.
Anonymous says
As a twin mom I suggest sitting on the couch or kitchen floor to hold both at the same time. It’s basically impossible when you are standing.
Sometimes they just need to be held. Toddler tula to back carry one kid while verbally engaging/interacting with the other – like getting them to help you with dinner or drawing a picture at the island while you cook. Coloring together usually means I draw a super simple sketch (think like a tree) and they color it in while I do something else (encourage them to add details to make it last longer).
Oven timer (or Alexa I guess if you have that) is clutch for taking turns. It beeps when there is one minute left so twin A knows that twin B’s turn is soon. This is key in having them take turns. Usually 5 minute turns at this age. Make sure you alternate which twin gets the first turn.
Lastly, they love to make coloring sheet requests which I then search, screenshot and print. This is much more popular than coloring books and they have figured out how to reload the printer paper!
anon says
My twins are 4, but when they start hurting each other we make them go play in separate rooms for a while. We have a house, not an apartment, so it’s easier to spread out, but maybe figure out ways to make two separate play areas? We use their bedroom, the basement, the living room, and the office, all of which have toys.
Anon says
We had a rough weekend behavior-wise for my 6yo son. He was really cranky and tired and completely uncooperative from Friday evening on, and capped it off yesterday evening by spilling a condiment cup of buffalo sauce on the passenger seat in my car as retaliation for making him get dressed to go to our pool for a swim (for fun!). He initially said it was an accident, but when I pressed him on it he admitted it was intentional. We had hard conversations in the moment, he helped clean it up, we decided no screen time for this week as a consequence, and he went to bed early last night. Anything else that really needs to be done? I’m chalking it up to tiredness, but my husband spiraled and said we need to start looking into therapists because this behavior is out of control.
AwayEmily says
I think it’s amazing he was able to admit it was on purpose (admitting you messed up is HARD), and then helped to clean it up and participated in figuring out the consequence. It sounds like he’s a thoughtful kid who made a mistake, and you are a wonderful parent for helping him through the process. Everyone gets frustrated and does things they regret (see: me yelling at my kids yesterday to get OUT of the bathroom and please just LET ME BRUSH MY TEETH IN PEACE) — how you repair afterwards matters a lot.
Anonymous says
He’s 6. I think the punishment is over the top. If he’s tired, don’t go to the pool. Kids have rough days too.
Spirograph says
I agree with both this and AwayEmily. A week of no screens will probably go a long way to encouraging sleep and emotional reset, so on those merits I think it’s a good idea. But to me, it’s disproportionate to the crime given that he took responsibility and helped clean it up. With only this initial story to go on, I don’t see anything to suggest this is out of control behavior warranting therapy. It seems pretty par for the course for a tired 6 year old, to me.
anon says
+2. But with the additional thought that if he seems out-of-sorts a lot over an extended period of time, a few sessions of play therapy, or some coaching of you by a play therapist, might help him work through whatever is stressing him out repeatedly. Therapy is not something that has to be reserved for “problem” kids (which yours pretty clearly is not), it can be a nice additional outlet for anyone experiencing stress or disappointment or worry. Who isn’t?
Anonymous says
THIS.
No Face says
When my 5 year old is cranky and uncooperative, I give her lots of food and send her to bed early. Not as a punishment, but because she is probably hungry and tired. The lesson for both her and I is that we need to listen to our bodies. Taking a tired kid to an activity, even a fun one, is a recipe for disaster.
Apology and cleaning it up would have been a perfectly appropriate “punishment.”
NYCer says
+1 for our newly 7 year old.
Anon says
My newly 6 year old had a rough weekend too. We chalked it up to another impending life change – summer camp is ending this week and school starts next week. We’re focusing on more sleep and less screentime this week, and just trying to stay as patient as possible. My husband reminded me that he’s spent almost 1/3 of his life in a pandemic, so cut him some slack for not having his emotions completely under control. And that helped me change my perspective a bit. I’m still feeling frazzled, and I’m a supposed adult. I can’t imagine what he’s going through.
anne-on says
The transition from ‘little little kid’ to ‘big little kid’ at 7~ was probably the most challenging for me as a parent. They can definitely be much more rude/talk back a lot more/understand how to be sneaky and hurtful. There were so (SO SO) many conversations we had (and still have) about managing your feelings, that it’s ok to have big feelings (mad, sad, tired, scared, etc.) but that your feelings are not an excuse to be hurtful. So much discussion of strategies for how to handle feelings and both of us as parents needed to be on the same page (calm in the face of intentionally mean/rude behavior) and discussions on consequences, how your actions make other people feel, etc.
I don’t say this to scare you, but truly suggest that it’s probably a good time for you to buy and read some books on what is ‘normal’ for these ages and then discuss together how to handle it. Fwiw, I think you did a great job. I had to help my husband understand that after we discussed the behavior and set a consequence he needed to DROP IT – wanting to discuss the behavior to death which just wound up kiddo and then we had another meltdown.
Anonymous says
When was his last growth spurt? I often see a deterioration in behavior in my twin boys right before a big growth spurt. I suspect they are hangry but can’t identify/verbalize it. Offer healthy snacks (apple slices, pretzels etc) a little more often and see if that heads it off. Drinking enough water in summer is also key. Don’t wait for them to self-identify they are thirsty as they are usually tired and grumpy by that time.
Anonymous says
Adding that I wouldn’t even give my 9 year old a full week punishment for something like that. 2-3 days maybe but a week is a very long time to a 6 year old.
SC says
When my 6 year old acts like this, I try to address the tiredness, or any other perceived root cause, first. For us, that means we’d make sure we were sticking to our routine. Has bedtime been slipping a little later because it’s summer and the days are longer? Is he having a hard time falling asleep, or is something waking him up at night? Does he have enough downtime after camp, and is that downtime spent doing something that prepares his brain for bed? (This is where limiting screens may help.) Does he just need extra sleep due to an illness or growth spurt or whatever? (Kiddo also gets cold symptoms a day or two after a weekend like this, and we realize the fatigue and crankiness were the first symptoms.) Is he getting enough long-energy foods? Is he getting some quality time with each parent?
DH is better at this than I am, but we’ve also learned to stop pushing our kid into activities or outings when he is tired and cranky. I admit that I have a tendency to think, “He’ll have fun when he gets there,” or even, “But I want to spend the evening at the pool.” You just have to call it. If he’s too tired and overwhelmed to put on a swimsuit, that’s his way of telling you he’s too tired and overwhelmed to go to the pool. I assume he spilled the condiment cup because he was feeling out of control. I would talk to him about using his words and making better choices, but I would also tell him that you and his dad will try to do a better job of listening to what he needs.
Cb says
Yep. My son is much younger but every time I try and push something, I regret it. He is never super tantrumy but he is typically up for anything and if he isn’t / expresses reluctance, there is a reason.
Anonymous says
Thank you for this post and replies. I have a similarly aged son I’ve posted about before with some of the same struggles and these responses are very helpful. We have started working with a therapist but obviously that’s not an immediate fix.
Anonymous says
My 2 year old has started to be afraid of the ceiling fan in his room. So much so that he’s been fighting bed time (the fan is over his crib). Any tips on how to get him through it?
Anon says
is the fan on or off? my kids are ok if the fan is on during the day, but will not sleep with it on
Anonymous says
Can you move his crib so the fan is not directly over him? I hate sleeping with a fan directly over me. Logically I know it’s not going to fall on me but my sleepy brain disagrees with my rational brain.
Anon says
What are your favorite rain/snow boots for toddlers? We’ve been buying bogs and they’re just ok so wondering what else is out there that people like.
Anon says
For my kids, the only purpose of rain boots is to not ruin their other shoes. The rain boots fill with water and don’t keep feet dry (splashing in puddles, etc) so I don’t think there are any “good” ones from that POV. In the summer they wear natives (or bare feet in our yard).
In winter, we have used and loved Bogs but have started buying the DicksSportingGoods version – just as durable and half the price. What don’t you love about them? I will say I didn’t like the short ones for my tiny kids, but the tall ones are great
Walnut says
Western Chief and Joules
Anon says
if you were starting from scratch with a backyard, what outdoor toys would you have for kiddos ages 3/4. we are moving into our first home. they have scooters, bikes and those kinds of things, but we are currently in an apartment and have never had a backyard before. do we put in a swing set? water table? playhouse? i am sure there are many backyard items i’m not even aware of. ideally i would like things that they can enjoy right now, but also that will grow with them.
fallen says
I love a spash pad/sprinkler pad for the summer! Hours of fun. And an inflatable bouncy house if you have the space.
Anon says
Some kind of swing set/climbing equipment that would work with them until they were 10 or so would be my big buy. I’d get one of the good Rainbow or Gorilla playsets, with the playhouse and slide and spots for a couple of swings or other items that you can switch out as they get older. I’d also get it professionally installed. I recognize this is heading into the $3K territory but if I’m staying in my house until teenage years I think it would be a no-brainer.
A playhouse and water table is going to become too young for them fast. No harm in getting them, just know you’ll be selling them again in a couple of years.
Anonymous says
My 3yo loves her sensory table filled with sand. She has a playhouse and a small slide (thanks pandemic) and her sand pit definitely gets the most use. I don’t know how many more years we have with it though. My sense is that this kind of backyard toy is readily available second hand, though.
Anonymous says
If there are no walkable playgrounds, my vote is all of the above, but if I have to choose just 1: swing set. Ideally, it should have some kind of fort/platform, a slide, and a couple swings. bonus for a sandbox and climbing rope.
We have none of these, just a climbing dome, which is also a hit. My kids love the rope swing at our neighbor’s house, and the tree house at my mom’s place. It really doesn’t matter, though. They’ll play with whatever you have. :)
buffybot says
We have a back patio that is considered generous for Brooklyn but obviously tiny for anywhere else. A KidKraft playhouse with play kitchen has been fantastic for independent play for my 3 year old son. Some kind of playhouse/clubhouse/structure that can be used for imaginative purposes seems the most flexible and able to adapt as they grow, especially if it’s big enough.
I personally wouldn’t put in swings because then I’d constantly be getting requests to push. I’d also consider if there is an area of the yard you can devote to a sand or mud pit, depending on your aesthetics. Mine will dig for literal AGES. If you’ve ever seen Busy Toddler’s yard on instagram and have the stomach for that kind of chaos, it could probably give you hours and hours of happy independent play.
OP says
edited to add – we live in a hot environment, think FL, TX, etc.
Cb says
I’d get a sun sail or some sort of covered space? We have a sandpit, wiggle bike, and then balls and cricket set. But the back garden is mostly paved so we haven’t done anything that would encourage climbing. We have a park nearby for that.
AnonATL says
Is any of your yard shaded? Definitely a sun sail or large umbrella for the porch/patio. If you do have shade, I would plan the play area around that.
We have a water table and hard plastic pool that lives on our porch under an umbrella. A little tykes slide that can hook up to a hose and be a water slide and apparently grandma ordered a sandbox recently. We also have a splash pad, but the spot gets so soggy.
We are super lucky to live less than a mile from the elementary school with a nice playground and the HOA playground is a block down from us. I don’t think we will get a big play set since we have quick access to those.
Anon says
If you want something big and ridiculous, my nieces have this amazing inflatable waterslide/bounce house/pool thing that is fun even with older kids. It seems like a huge pain to store and set up. Personally I would do a swing set with a little attached clubhouse.
Anon says
that actually sounds fun. even if it is a pain. could you find out what they have?
Anon says
Oh man, I looked it up and it’s pretty pricey! There are cheaper versions out there but it is kind of amazing: https://www.amazon.com/Blast-Zone-Pirate-Inflatable-Bounce/dp/B001QT0FUY
Anonymous says
Somewhat snarky response: a bunch of sticks. That’s mostly what our kids play with.
Our neighbor has a disc swing on a tree that gets a LOT of use by their kids and ours.
DLC says
I once went to a lecture by an architect who designed playgrounds and did a lot of research into what made for engaging playscapes. During the Q&A I asked her what she would put in her own backyard and she said, “Loose pieces- sticks, wooden disks, rocks. Things that my kids can build with.”
DLC says
I have dreams of putting in a climbing wall and zipline in our backyard. My brother has one and it looks amazing.
Anonymous says
Sandbox has got us a lot of independent play (wish I had got it sooner TBH). We are walkable to a lot of parks and our yard is too small for any kind of climbing structure / swings that he wouldn’t outgrow very quickly. My BIL/SIL have a large play structure (from Costco) that seems to have a big enough swing on it to keep their older one engaged (8) …. but they aren’t really walk to the park people so YMMV.
Anonymous says
PS. the toy with the longest longevity is a trampoline – but if you don’t have shade honestly I think the kids could get heatstroke.
fallen says
My 8 year old is home sick with a stomach bug and doesn’t want to do anything but lay there (she says she doesn’t want to read/watch tv/play on the ipad). Is there anything that you do for your kids when your kids are sick?
And also, should I be testing for covid? Not sure whether to test if stomach/lethargy is the only symptom? We live in NE so relatively few cases for now but still.
Anonymous says
Girl take the win! Your sick kid wants to do nothing but lie there? Good for her. I’d call the doctor and ask about Covid.
Pogo says
lol exactly! My kid, when truly sick, is the same way and if he only wants to lay there and snuggle his lovey, I let him. I will often put on something calming like Daniel Tiger.. not sure what an 8yo equivalent to that would be.
My school required testing when my kiddo had something similar last fall, plus 72h symptom free. blargh.
fallen says
I know, right? I haven’t had a sick kid at home for 2 years because of masking, and it’s so odd to me that I am sitting her being able to work while sitting right next to her. She looks so sick though I wish there’s something I could do to make her feel better. She just tells me she wants nothing.
Now if my 3 year old gets it from her it will be a different story!!
Anonymous says
Ask your ped about testing. They will have a good handle on what is going around your area at the moment and what the symptoms are.
No Face says
Lots of fluids and rest. I test for covid at the drop of a hat, personally.
Anon says
+1 on testing for Covid at the drop of a hat. Now with cheap antigen home tests, it’s exceptionally easy to at least run one of those. Obviously, PCR is best and imperative if actually concerned.
SC says
If she’s throwing up or has diarrhea, I would try to push fluids–diluted juice, Gatorade, soup, whatever she’ll drink. A straw makes it easier for me to drink when I’m sick. And, yeah, put on some mindless TV if she wants it. I used to watch reruns of Golden Girls when I stayed home from school sick.
Anonymous says
Ha, yes. This also seems like the age to introduce her to the old Saved by the Bell.
ifiknew says
My 2 year old son (26 months) cannot stop hitting / climbing over his sister (4 years 2 months) and occasionally pulling her hair. He thinks its so fun and if she pushes back or kicks, he gets even more excited and tries again. It’s completely exhausting and of course worse in the evenings. Timeouts are not working. Only thing that works is separating them. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not a game. He’s just so physically rambunctious and we’re at such a loss. Makes the weekends just brutal and we feel so bad for our 4 year old. Any tips or commiseration would be welcome.
anon says
Wow, this does suck for the four year old. You have the answer in your question – separate them every time. The 2 year old goes to a different place and the four year old (who I’m assuming isn’t bugging him) gets to do what she was doing. Talk to the four year old and tell her, you can’t hit him but if he is doing this come and get me and I will help. But no big reaction from you – just the standard, my job is to keep you both safe. Right now you aren’t being safe. When sister says she doesn’t want to be touched, you must listen. It’s going to feel like you are doing this so often, but he needs to learn that this behaviour is unacceptable.
I’d also work hard on noticing him being good, like when he is playing with his sister in a positive manner.
When he is in his crazy mood, can you wrestle with him? Can you be physical with him in a fun way – throw balls, crawl through tunnels, jump around – to tire him out and direct his energy away from his sister? You can take the brunt of his exuberance and channel his energy into an appropriate space.
Also, does she have a place she can be safely away from him? My two are the same age and if the older wants alone time, she knows she can go on her bed.
So Anon says
Any recommendations for KN95 masks for kids? How do you tell whether those advertised as such online are legit versus knock-offs?
Relatedly – we went with double layered washable masks for all of last school year. How are you planning on masking you elementary-aged kiddos this school year?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Probably just one layer of our Old Navy masks for our K-er.
AwayEmily says
I did a bunch of Googling of different masks and ended up also deciding to stick with our Old Navy ones for our K-er. She’s been wearing them all day, every day for a year and is super comfortable in them, and so I think the benefit of comfort/known compliance outweighs the small advantage conferred by a “better” mask. I might feel differently if I wasn’t in the NE where all kids/teachers will be masked, though.
Spirograph says
We are also sticking with a single, double-layer, cloth, reusable mask. I’m not going to ask my kids to double-mask at school, although I might consider it case-by-case in other public places based on how the fall/winter surge plays out.
School is masks-required for all indoors, and 80%+ of the eligible population is vaccinated in my county.
Anon says
We used the disposable FLTR masks from Costco. We will do the same for this year.
anon says
Disposable ones from Costco for the older one, as the kids’ sizes are too small and the adult sizes are too big. Not ideal, but they seem to fit him better than any cloth option I’ve tried.
Double-layered masks from Old Navy for the younger one.
I’m not investing in the KN-95s at this time.
Anonymous says
Check out Happy Masks for reusable high filtration masks. Wellbefore for disposable KN95s.
anon says
I was debating this morning if I should be investing in fancy masks for my K-er, but given that all teachers/students/staff are required to be masked I’m hoping transmission isn’t a huge deal, so we’ll probably just stick with our Gap/ON ones.
Anon says
Wirecutter now has reviews of kids’ high filtration masks.
My kids and I really like Happy Masks, so that’s our plan. However, if you don’t already have some, they’re out of stock and it looks like restocks will sell out in minutes for a few more weeks (they announce restock times on social media).
anon says
Who else is feeling completely blah today?
– Kids are starting school next week, and yet the summer weather is going to continue for at least another month. I resent having to return to “normal” when I still want to be playing in the sun.
– At the same time, I am exhausted to the core. Mentally and emotionally, especially.
– My one-week vacation was not long enough to recover from the burnout I’m feeling.
– I’m about to start in on a three-month stretch of solo parenting most weekends. This is not new, it’s how our fall goes, and I dread it every year.
– And, oh yeah, this Delta variant thing is scary and I can barely think about it. We had just started living again.
SC says
I am, a bit. I just returned from a week of vacation at the beach, so at least I feel pretty rested. Mostly, I’m worried/bummed about the Delta variant. Our hospitals are full. Our children’s hospitals are full. My son missed his last week of camp a couple of weeks ago because one of the kids had Covid. We were on vacation last week and missed the 2-hour “orientation” day at school last Friday, but on Saturday, we got an email that one of the kids had Covid. (Kiddo and 4 others who missed last Friday are able to be at school this week.) It seems inevitable that this will go on all fall. Kiddo returned to group therapy about a month ago. We’ve eaten in a few restaurants and have been seeing extended family. My book clubs were beginning to meet in person again. It’s also super hot, and will be through September, so I feel like it’s hard to do outdoor activities. Our area’s fall events are being canceled. It just feels like we’re back to square one, but I’m more frustrated because this time, it was entirely preventable.
AwayEmily says
Same, same, same. Despite searching for several weeks we haven’t found any leads on an after-school babysitter for our kindergartener. Nor have we gotten any information about orientation, her classroom, etc (school starts in two weeks). After 18 months of working from home, my husband is going to be going to “faraway work” (what the kids call it) for 2-3 days each week, and I’m dreading having him gone. And of course, Delta is just the terrifying icing on the crappy cake. I’m just really dreading fall.
On the up side, this afternoon I head to a hotel for two nights for a “writing retreat” (aka I desperately need to finish up some writing/research before the semester starts), so that will be lovely. And our long-awaited vacation is next week.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’ve been feeling more anxious lately – I can tell because little things that my kids do tend to annoy me more now and I think it’s just me taking my frustration out about the state of the world that I can’t control. It’s hard because early summer started out more hopeful but now it feels like there won’t be an end point to this anytime soon and we’re just kind of living in this still fearful place, but also wanting to continue our lives through school and activities. And both of my kids are starting in new places the last week of August – K and a new room at daycare! So I foresee a lot of heightened emotions and sleep trouble.
Solo parenting sounds tough – can you at least get a sitter for one of the weekends to help out?
AwayEmily says
Yes, same with both kids (K and starting in the “preschool” room at daycare), and the anticipation of all the (totally normal but still tough in the moment) meltdowns, exhaustion, etc, is weighing on me. I will be here to commiserate!
anon says
Despite my better judgment, we took in a young kitten. I’ve never had a cat (always had dogs) so I have no idea what I’m doing though DH had cats growing up. Overall the cat is easy but she is play biting and scratching us a lot as she gets more playful. She especially seems to think that my kids’ little feet are fun toys for biting and scratching. Any tips to stop it? I try to redirect her with a toy or move her but she’s starting to scare the kids (and she doesn’t even weight 2 lbs yet so that’s something). I’m used to doing clicker training for dogs but I know cats aren’t dogs so I don’t know if that would help?
Anonymous says
You don’t train cats so much as the cat trains your kids. Put them in shoes and spend way more time playing with her than you think is necessary. Kittens have so much energy you gotta channel it.
Anonymous says
This. Separate from the play scratching: get a scratching post or two, and also some floor scratch pads. My cats destroyed my couch before I realized they’d decided the armrest was their spot
IHeartBacon says
This. You kind of can’t train a cat.
No Face says
Attacking the feet means that she is not playing enough. Kitties have lots of energy, just like puppies. Instead of walking them, it is tons of active play.
Pogo says
I’ve never had a kitten only older cats, but we used a spray bottle with plain water to train him not to jump or claw on the counters/couch/etc. We rarely had to use it, simply walked over towards the bottle and he’d hop down or stop his clawing.
I think in this case it’s just a kitten being a kitten, though, and they need a lot of play/attention at this age.
Anon says
The formative time to teach a kitten good behavior is from 4-7 weeks. You want to teach them that hands are for petting, not for biting. This means it’s important to not engage in any rough play with the kitten using your hands (or feet). If the kitten bites or scratches, firmly say “no” and disengage play. Don’t try to move her (the interaction just rewards the behavior), have the kids leave if she starts biting. You can try to redirect her to play rough with toys, but don’t let her bite or scratch hands.
Anon says
Yelping in pain can help. Talking to cats is okay because they can hear the “tone” of our words, but sometimes speaking in pan-species “OWWW” is more effective. And disengaging is good too. There needs to be a firm boundary that this ends play time. Redirecting to toys isn’t exactly bad, but I think it can sometimes be more helpful to play with toys preventively, and I’m not convinced that every overstimulated little kitten understands that they’ve been redirected vs. “I attack feet, I attack toy, I attack everything!” good times.
So Anon says
Cleaning Agency v. Individual Person – Have you hired a cleaning person versus an agency? I’ve always gone with agencies in the past, but they have months long waits, so I am considering going onto care . com or similar to find a local individual. Any pointers/recommendations/things to know for going this route?
Anonymous says
We have an individual, who was recommended by neighbors. If you have a local listserv and can get recommendations from people you trust, that would be my first step. The official advice is to get someone who is bonded and insured, but ours is not. She does a decent job, is reasonably priced, reliable, and has cleaned for us for several years now.
Anonymous says
If you have a local neighborhood Facebook group ask for recommendations there. You’ll most likely get both recommendations and ppl soliciting their services to do it
Anon says
+1. We’ve hired both individuals and via agencies and fwiw I feel like the independent people do a better job because they’re cleaning for themselves.
Pogo says
+1 I’ve had both and the individuals are SO much better. The agencies that I’ve used seem to rush the people and focus on making everything look clean but not actually using any elbow grease, if that makes sense. Plus I feel better that our individual person is getting most of the money because she is her own LLC (sure she has some overhead and employees, but I have a feeling given the turnover I saw that the agency did not pay well).
Anonymous says
Completely agree! Agency was focused on making things LOOK clean, individual is focused on actual cleaning. Also like knowing the person is being paid well (because she sets her own prices) vs the agency who I suspected did not pay well.
Cb says
We did an agency and then hired her when she left the agency (they were pretty awful to her when she got sick). For our latest cleaner, we found via Facebook recommendation, she is great and I feel better for the money going to an individual. I’m home when she’s here but if I won’t be, we just drop round a key.
Anon says
I started with one-woman business but when she grew her business and wasn’t doing the cleaning herself, we had different people coming through all the time and the cleaning wasn’t great. We switched recently to a large small business, but they commit to having the same people there to clean each week and the owner is still actively involved. I like that because they get to know us, our house, where the dirty spots are, etc. and I am more comfortable (for better or worse) when the same people show up. They are big enough to have coverage for holidays and sick days (and be appropriately licensed, bonded and insured) but small enough that I was able to add laundry to our weekly cleaning and can add other one off tasks without going through corporate bureaucracy. I looked hard at going the sole individual route this time around (and ideally adding in cooking) but ultimately we are lawyers and I did not want the hassle of paying on the books and it would have very much been a part-time household employee scenario. If we already had a nanny or were otherwise set up for that I might have come to a different conclusion.
Anonymous says
Don’t you have a job? Get a recommendation and hire someone. See how it goes. There is not more to it than that. Hiring a cleaner is not complicated.
Anon says
There’s a lot of paperwork if one is hiring an individual. It’s a little complicated, unless you want to run afoul of various laws and have no social insurance for the cleaner if she can’t work (workers’ comp, social security disability, state social insurance programs, etc).
EDAnon says
We had a service and switched to an individual/very small business. We like the individual operation a lot more (consistent people, cleaner house, better service). We got a recommendation from a friend who switched off the same service that we did.
Anonymous says
My two year old starts full time Montessori school/daycare next Monday. He’s our first and only kid, and has been at home with our nanny since three months. While I’m preparing myself for an emotional few weeks as the whole family adjusts to this change, seeking advice:
What sorts of conversations/logistical things should DH and I have/plan to have as part of moving from nanny who comes to our house to a school/daycare setting? We have figured out the standard will be I do drop off and he does pick up. We have local grandparents who already have committed to helping on twcwhr work days.
But, any other conversations you wish you’d had with your spouse re:daycare logistics? Or similar? Thanks!
Anon says
Does he need to bring lunch? Who’s in charge of packing his daily bag? Who’s in charge of checking and replenishing his diapers and spare outfits that he keeps there?
Pogo says
yup, the lunch and the bag are the biggest things. and who will cover when there is illness, appointments, etc.
anon says
– Who is in charge of packing the daycare bag? Can you leave supplies there (like a change of clothes and diapers), or will you need to bring new things daily? This will become more of a Thing when the weather turns cold and you need extra seasonal gear.
– Have very clear plans about who is doing dropoff and pickup. Sounds like you do. This means it’s on DH to have end-of-day conversations with the teachers about how things are going.
Good luck! The anticipation is always worse than the actual transition, IME.
anonamama says
Two thoughts. A shared family email address on file for updates; installed on both of your phones so you both have ownership over updates/both see them.
Look at work calendars together on Sundays and determine who can be the ‘on call’ parent for which day if needed for sick calls, etc.
Good luck!
Anon says
We just started our 4.5 month old at daycare, and I had no idea what to expect. Here are a few things you may want to ask about–
(a) Labels for clothes, etc.– We are required to label everything. You can order labels online that make this easier.
(b) Extra sleepsack/crib sheet, etc.
(c) Packing the bag– My husband preps the bottles. I pack the bag. I do dropoff. He does pick up.
(d) Daycare app– Our daycare has an app that sends updates to both parents throughout the day, which is really nice. I’ve found out this is standard at a lot of daycares in our area. It’s alleviated a lot of my stress about not knowing what is going on throughout the day.
Anon says
We had a rough weekend with general toddler shenanigans and meltdowns and my youngest being an insane climber who needs constant supervision in spite of extreme babyproofing. I just need confirmation that 15 months and 3.5 is Peak Hard, and it’s going to get easier, right?
I know teens must be their own kind of tough but at least they’re not constantly trying to climb onto the kitchen table or having a tantrum on the driveway in front of multiple neighbors because you closed the car door “the wrong way”.
Pogo says
Eek, I hope so, because I’m staring down 15mos and 4yo pretty soon. I think babyproofing with the second is so much harder because your attention is divided – I don’t recall ever having to grab something out of my oldest’s mouth, but once a day it seems I’m like, “what have you got in there?” (piece of a paper bag he was eating, for example).
My only hack is to create a giant playpen from the North States Baby Gate (I think it’s 5x8ft total with one of those cushy foam mats under it) and lock the little one in there when I need to be sure he’s safe. The 4yo can’t open the pen to let him out, but he can climb in and out if he uses a chair which I do NOT want him to let the baby see too often.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m not sure when Peak Hard is, but I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 year old now and the older one is like night and day from where he was 2 years ago, so much easier there. He can play by himself, is reasonable (most of the time) and I can even take him places now without worrying about him constantly! He’s my Target run buddy now. My younger one is a handful in the way that toddlers are, but at least he still naps for 2+ hours. I’ll check back in 10 years on teens!
anon says
I have 3 with 1 on the way (ages almost 2, 5, and 7) and I can confirm that anything combined with a 1.5yo (but especially a 3 year old combined with a 1.5 year old) is peak hard.
I mean, I have’t gone through the teenage years yet – but my 5 and 7 year old don’t need constant supervision (and will sometimes keep the 2yo entertained), so despite the different version of hard they are, they are still not even close to as hard as when they were 1 and 3.
Anon. says
Joining the chorus hoping for affirmative responses because we are at 19 month and 4 and — ooh boy it is rough. But maybe a teensy bit better than even a month ago as toddler’s vocabulary expands. I’m going with yes, you’re at peak hard.
Rosa says
19 months and 4 here too and wow am I tired! I have to tell myself it’s not always going to be like this a lot. And also to follow advice from The Mom Hour and keep finding ways to lower my standards even more.
Anon says
Help me calm down, please. Our 3yo is starting preK next week, and Covid is literally everywhere in our Deep South city. I personally know of at least 4 fully-vaccinated adults who have tested positive in the last 2 weeks, one of whom died from Covid and the others had mild symptoms, and K-12 schools are dealing with massive outbreaks in just the first week of school. We found out last week that our preK will only require masks for teachers and not for students, and it does not look like that policy is going to change. Kids will be temperature-screened daily but will eat snack/lunch together inside. She’s so excited to start school like her older siblings (who will be in elementary schools with everyone masked at all times unless outside) and is very good about wearing a mask even when other kids aren’t. But I’m panicking and worried that it’s still too risky if all the other kids will be unmasked. What’s reasonable here? Sending her masked? Keeping her home for a few weeks until things hopefully level off again? I’ve lost all perspective in my intense rage at the many, many people who have rejected vaccines and created this nightmare scenario.
Anon says
– On a macro level, the likelihood of dying from covid once 3-6 weeks fully vaccinated is very, very small. It is tragic but so unlikely. I’m sorry for your loss. Here is info about that: https://www.nbcnews.com/specials/data-shows-how-rare-severe-breakthrough-covid-infections-are/index.html
– Breakthrough cases are expected. That the 3 people you know who had mild symptoms is an indication of the vaccine’s success. The goal was never zero breakthrough cases (as much as we want it to be).
– Masking your child is protective for your child. Not terribly so, but protective. Can your child mask when indoors even when her friends are not?
– It is still so very likely that if your daughter is infected with covid, provided she does not have any preexisting conditions, that she will have either an asymptomatic or mildly symptomatic case. I know it’s possible children may have preexisting conditions that you wouldn’t know about, but my guess is this is a rare occurrence.
– I think it’s great that masks are required for teachers! That’s very good news.
– If I were you, and I knew my daughter wanted to be in school, and all family members at home who could be fully vaccinated were fully vaccinated, and there were no comorbidities at home, I’d send her.
Anonymous says
All of this. Also, FWIW: much of Europe does not require masks for young children. Even in 2020 (pre-vaccine) when they reopened schools, kids under 10 or 12 or whatever the local regulation was were not masking in school. They didn’t see catastrophic outbreaks as a result, but your individual risk tolerance may vary, of course.
I am with you, OP, on the rage about lack of vaccine uptake, but I would send 3yo to school as planned. You could ask her to wear a mask, and ask the teachers to make reasonable efforts to remind her, but I haven’t seen anything yet that would make me keep a preK kid home.
Cb says
Yep, we’ve never even had teachers masked at my kids mixed age nursery (0-5, let loose) and we’ve had knock on wood one two week closures since reopening last august. Although we closed during the winter peak
Mary Moo Cow says
I think you’ll get a thousand variations on an answer for what’s “reasonable.” If you are a person who is comforted by hard data, look at your health authority’s specific data on cases and breakthrough infections. For me, this was key to controlling anxiety: I kept seeing stuff like cases spike, breakthrough infections a thing, kids are doomed, and then, from the Health Department, percentage of fully vaccinated adults who are testing positive: 0.034%. A spike in cases in kids meant, like, 7 cases, not the 700 that I was thinking. Plain, objective numbers might make you feel better.
Our school is masks optional. The communication was that the school expects everyone to treat families’ decisions with grace and respect: so no making fun of the kids with masks and no jeering at the kids who are not wearing masks. This is a private school with an excellent reputation for diversity, inclusion, and community, so I expect teachers and staff to enforce this. I say this to say, if you chose to send your child in with a mask, I doubt you will be the only one. I would pick masking over keeping her home and have her miss the crucial first days of getting into the routine and getting to know the other kids.
Anon says
i would band together with like minded parents to push back. i dont understand why schools think they know more about covid than the cdc and the apa.
Anon says
I would also recommend talking to your pediatrician about this. My ped thinks the risk of covid for very young kids (under 5) is much less than for RSV, the flu, etc., none of which typically cause parents to pull their kids out of school. Pediatrician believes the risk for kids > 12 is much, much higher. Many of the articles about kids getting Covid lump kids aged 0-18 together, when there is evidence that kids experience Covid very differently at different ages.
Anon Lawyer says
I’ve been wondering about that. It is frustrating to me there’s not more differentiation in the articles.
Anonymous says
I don’t think the flu is analogous. There is a flu vaccine for kids. And anyway, during the H1N1 flu epidemic I kept my kid out of school until a vaccine was available, and I was not the only one.
Anon Lawyer says
I don’t think a lot of people did that though even if “some” did.
SC says
I am in also in the Deep South. I’m worried too, and frustrated that this wave wouldn’t be happening if people would just get the vaccine. I am choosing to send my child to school, despite my reservations, but we are going to limit our risk as much as possible outside of school. Masks are required in my kid’s classroom, but they’re young, and many of the children have sensory processing issues, so I doubt the masking will be perfect. I do know that the teachers are vaccinated (they’ve volunteered the information), and they will be masked.
Anonanonanon says
I don’t have an answer or any advice, but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for you, and really all of us, that we are back to having nothing but bad options to choose from right now.
Katala says
I came here looking for opinions on this. My state and metro area are having the biggest spike since this winter. Hospitals are overwhelmed including the children s ICUs. Schools cannot mandate masks and few teachers wore them at meet the teacher night.
3 kids in my 1st graders summer camp (at the daycare our 4yo attends) tested positive for COVID over the weekend. Now we need to get him tested but no appointments to be found until later this week. He’s had 2 negative home tests though.
The schools don’t even report positive cases anymore. It’s honor system to keep your kid home if they test positive. But how many people will send them anyway because it’s “no big deal”?
We don’t feel right sending him to school tomorrow on the first day when he’s been exposed. I feel terrible for him starting yet another messed up school year.
We have a 2 month old at home too so we’re feeling extra cautious. So disheartening.
Preg anon says
Wondering if anyone has a template or advice for a partner (husband) requesting paternity leave? This will be our 3rd and my husband started this job since having the other two. It’s a largish (~100 people) architecture firm with no parental leave policy. HR has advised him that no one has asked for paid leave before (and no dads have ever taken any leave!), but they’re open to it and to write up a proposal. They’ve also been really flexible through the pandemic with our childcare issues, so I think it’s worth asking. Any thoughts/suggestions on format/approach? He’s reaching out to colleagues at other firms to get a sense of what (if anything) is offered elsewhere.
Anon says
That’s great! a couple pieces of advice – HR won’t make the decision, the firm’s leadership will, so he should think about his PR campaign with them. At many firms “what our peers in the market are doing” is the thing that gets leaders to move on this.
EDAnon says
I would recommend a peer comparison for sure. Companies want to be competitive. I was part of the team that got paid leave added (only two weeks though) and we were able to show how low the cost would be (X employees x two weeks = not much cost and there would be no hiring backfill).
At my job, what held it down is that we have really fast sick leave accumulation so HR didn’t want to add to that liability. If they have generous sick leave, I would consider that. If they don’t have generous leave, you could compare that to peers too and it would be way cheaper to do parental leave for a few than offer a lot more paid time off.
And finally, yes to the PR side of it! Note that it would help recruit employees (and if no peers offer it, it’s a way to set the firm apart!).