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When my son was a few weeks old, he had a lot of bumps on his face that my mother-in-law called baby acne. They didn’t seem to cause him any discomfort, but they definitely made me rethink the pure, unblemished baby skin idea. We had the pediatrician look at it and found out it was a pretty common newborn eczema-type rash. In conjunction with Eucerin and 0.5% hydrocortisone cream, we used this shampoo. It was gentle, it smelled nice, and even if it was a placebo, it made me feel like I was also treating his sensitive skin the right way. The bottle says that it “washes away flakes associated with cradle cap,” and I do think it made a difference to clear up and keep away further rashes — but maybe I am just grasping for a medical-sounding reason to like this shampoo. Bottom line is, I liked it and really recommend it for newborns. We stopped buying it because $$$$, but the bottles last a long time. It’s $12.50 at Amazon, eligible for Prime. Mustela Foam Shampoo for Newborns Psst: Looking for more info about nursing clothes for working moms, or tips for pumping at the office? We’ve got them both… This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Breastfeeding water bottle says
Not a mom but my friend has asked for a good water bottle for breast feeding. She doesn’t have a registry but this is a gift she asked me to source for her. My assumption is something with a straw right? She won’t have free hands so being able to lean over and take a sip of water is probably handy. Did you have a favorite water bottle while breast feeding?
Cb says
I like the contigo ones with the straw. Sometimes costco sells them in a 3-pack which is ideal – you want one in each room.
mascot says
I’m a big fan of Hydroflask and Yeti products for keeping drinks cold for a long while. Built in straw bottles are hard to keep clean, IME. You could always get a pack of washable silicone straws that she can use with any bottle/mug. Once the baby gets positioned for feeding, she’ll probably have at least one hand free.
KateMiddletown says
That’s my favorite. I have an Ozark with our elementary school’s logo and I use a straw with it. I’m amazed every morning when ice is still cold from the night before!
Katarina says
I have a rove straw cup which is nice because it keeps the water cold for a long time. I also got a free cheap straw cup from my hospital, which was nice because it was huge and it had a cover for the straw, making it spill resistant. I strongly prefer a straw cup, because nursing required two hands for me for a long time, for me.
rosie says
It’s not perfect, but I like the Brita one. Has a straw, and it made the bathroom sink water taste better (versus having to go downstairs to get water from the Brita pitcher or just drinking straight from the tap).
HSAL says
I think a straw bottle is fine, but I wouldn’t have been able to just lean over and get to the straw while nursing, so I don’t think it’s a requirement. My only suggestion would be an insulated bottle that has a lid you can close one-handed, nothing with a screw-off top. I like the RTIC tumblers.
Anonymous says
Regarding all the insulated suggestions, make sure your friend prefers her water cold if you go that route. I prefer room temperature water and insulated water bottles are a no-go for me (I get my water out of the built-in fridge dispenser at home or water cooler at work, so rely on a non-insulated bottle to let it warm up).
IMO, the best breastfeed water bottle is the hospital one that they send home with you. But it’s not very portable.
AwayEmily says
Agreed! I loved that giant ugly thing and used it constantly. At some point a week or so after the baby came home I suddenly realized “oh wait…I haven’t washed this thing yet.” Shudder.
10:42 Anon says
Yes!!! That was me, too! Eventually my lid cracked from all the use not long after my maternity leave ended. So I went back to using my Camelbak that I’ve had for over 10 years (but on my third lid now). I also have a S’well, which never leaks and I love aesthetically, so I use it during meetings, etc. But it keeps water too cold.
EB14 says
I bought a 40 oz insulated bottle with a handle and a straw (also has a flip cap to drink out of). It was like $25 on Amazon. I think the brand is Reduce – COLD. It was nice to have the large size so I didn’t have to refill quite so many times.
How does the baby get home? says
Silly question maybe and I am sure they will answer it at the hospital tour but…we live in NYC and don’t have a car…how do we get the baby home? Do we call a taxi and just put the baby car seat in it when it shows up?
Anonymous says
There’s a service! Ask the hospital. It’s like uber but just to take babies home.
Anonymous says
I was just wondering this at my hospital tour. In DC you are required to have a car seat at discharge, so I was wondering why that was such a firm requirement in a city where many people don’t have cars. What if I lived in the neighborhood and planned to walk my baby home? Apparently DC does have a program where, if you’re a DC resident, you can buy a $20 car seat from the hospital at discharge. Is the thinking just that at some point you might HAVE to take a taxi/uber so you need to have a car seat even if you don’t ever drive?
Knope says
DC resident here who gave birth two years ago! Comments:
1) Maybe it depends on where you delivered, but at WHC they did not check to see if you have a carseat.
2) The $20 car seat thing is from select locations only, and I don’t think you can by default get it from the hospital. I looked into this and had a super hard time finding a location with in-stock carseats, so I gave up (NBD for my family but I feel bad for the people that actually need that).
3) I think the thinking is that you really can’t rely on walking home unless, like, you’re giving birth at GW and live right behind the hospital. YMMV but I was still in a lot of pain at discharge and couldn’t walk very far at all, despite a relatively uncomplicated vaginal birth. Walking a lot right after giving birth can cause you to bleed more too.
4) It’s not that expensive to buy an infant carseat and install it with a seatbelt, so you might as well just do it!
Katarina says
My sister used an uber and installed the carseat.
Anonymous says
Yes, you can do that or use a car service that provides car seats if you are brave.
Anonymous says
Yep! We ubered with our car seat. Bear in mind the car seats that ubers can come equipped with (Uber Family) are not newborn appropriate; they’re toddler seats. So you’ll want to install your own seat. In NYC you do not need to show you have a car seat to leave so hypothetically you could also go home on the subway or bus!
Anonymous says
This is fascinating to me. I’m in the Midwest, and things like this don’t even occur to me.
Anon says
They should do a post of city baby verse midwest baby! There are so many different considerations! For example those in the city spend so much more on compact smaller strollers because you need it it for every single outing unless you are using a baby carrier if you don’t have a car. Or many times you don’t have washer/dryer in your apartment. Or looking at the extra cost when using uberfamily so you can have a car seat.
NYCer says
You can take an uber or taxi (or walk if you are really ambitious). There are also some services that will pick you up – I have heard of Kid Car.
At my hospital (Mount Sinai) you do not need a car seat to leave the hospital.
JM says
It is kind of hard to install a car seat in a yellow cab, especially the older models. We called an Uber and installed our own carseat.
Newborn baby clothes says
I am not doing a registry because we just moved to a different country than all our friends/family. We are asking instead that people give money towards a postpartum doula, someone to come cook meals to leave in the freezer and a once a week cleaner.
However, this means I actually have to buy some baby clothes that usually everyone gets gifted. I am a minimalist person. How many things would you buy to get yourself through the first few weeks? Baby is due in Feb.
Cb says
Do you have a washer and dryer at home? If so, I’d just get 10 pairs of pajamas.
OP says
We do!
Zipper? Snaps? Footies? Color?
SC says
I’m a big fan of zipper footie pajamas. To me, they’re the holy grail of pajamas–one piece to deal with, baby stays warm, and no fussing with snaps. Color doesn’t matter.
Anonymous says
+1. No snaps ever.
Anonymous says
No snaps! Especially if they’re wearing it at night.
Anon says
Zippers all the way! Especially if you can find ones that unzip from the foot, so you don’t have to fully undress/unswaddle baby for a middle of the night diaper change. Target’s Cloud Island sleepers have this feature.
Anon says
My MIL bought us all snaps because “I love the snaps, they’re so much easier”. I assure you, the MIL sleepers only got worn during daytime on laundry day. Snaps are terrible, zippers all the way.
Anonymous says
Aww your MIL was probably thinking about how much easier the snaps were than real buttons back in the day. But it’s 2018.
DLC says
I recently saw a sleeper that zipped both from the top and bottom. I wish these had been around when my baby was born. The one thing I didn’t like about zippers was that if you were just changing a diaper you would have to zip the whole thing down and expose the baby’s chest. Two way zippers for the win. I also recently saw sleepers that had magnets instead of snaps- I liked that too.
One thing, though, I like about snaps is that with snaps the snaps go down both legs, so it is easier to get baby’s legs in and out.
In addition to sleepers, I really liked the side snap undershirts. It’s good for layering (in cold weather) or just wearing with a diaper (in warm weather). I had both long sleeve and short sleeve versions. I was also gifted onesies that had kimono/side snap style on top- I liked that because you didn’t have to pull the onesie over baby’s head.
Tunnel says
UO: I love the snaps and find them easier!
Anonymous says
Don’t buy newborn sizes. If your baby is 8 lbs or more you’ll never even wear them . And a smaller baby can always wear something slightly bigger. I think I bought 5 onesies in 0-3M and 5 footie pjs in 0-3M.
Katarina says
I liked having a few newborn sizes, and I had an 8 pound baby and an 8.5 pound baby. They both wore newborn for about two weeks, but I liked having some things that actually fit.
Anonymous says
Yep, my 8.5 lb and 9 lb , 21+ inch babies wore newborn sized for at least 4 weeks each, and 0-3m would’ve fallen off. I tried with PJs but their legs just wouldn’t stay in the legs of the pjs. Definitely worth having at least some newborn onesies!
Anonymous says
I also skipped the newborn sizes.
Anon says
+1 for my 8.5 pound baby who was in 3-6 month by 4 weeks and 0-3 month fit great before that.
Anon says
I had an 8 pound baby who wore newborn sizes for a month. Maybe have 2-3 items on hand? It’s also easier to find “kimono-style” newborn clothing, which I found to be easier because you don’t have to try to pull things on over their giant floppy heads.
anon says
I’ll dissent. I followed that advice for my first … who ended up wearing newborn sizes for 7 or 8 weeks. We had to stop at Target on the way home from the hospital because the poor thing had almost no clothing. He was 6 lbs., 7 oz. at birth. My second was over 8 pounds, but I still liked having a few newborn things. I definitely wouldn’t stock up on a huge number of newborn clothes, but don’t skip it altogether.
Anonymous says
See, I felt Murphy’s Law dictated that if I bought newborn sizes I would have a massive baby, and I wanted a more average baby for the sake of my taint. I still had a pretty big baby, but my taint is okay, so everything worked out.
Anonymous says
Fwiw, head circumference is way more important than weight for how hard it is on your vag. Fat squishes, skulls don’t.
anon says
+1 My baby wore newborn clothes for a loooooooong time and we were really under prepared in regards to outfits. People told me that we would get so many baby outfits as gifts that I shouldn’t buy anything…so I didn’t! And then baby wore the same two newborn-sized onesies for way too long. In my defense, I was really tired. But buy newborn clothes unless you know you’re having a massive baby. Get the Hanna Andersson pjs with zips on sale. Or Gap. Both are great. Good luck!
AwayEmily says
We used this for our baby’s cradle cap, in conjunction with a cradle cap brush (like $4 on amazon) and it worked very well. And it does last awhile…we are still on the same bottle we bought when he was six weeks old and he’s now eight months (granted, we bathe our children less often than most…twice a week or so). and it smells great.
Cb says
Agreed, the mustela smells delicious. My 14 month old still has a bit of cradle cap though – he’s got pretty thick hair so you can’t really tell but I’d love to get rid of it.
Anonymous says
Massaging coconut oil into her scalp after a bath worked for us — it looks a bit silly and can get messy but worked.
anon says
Ahhh, I love the smell of Mustela!
Pogo says
My doctor recommended just plain Dove for baby acne. I agree with April part of it is placebo… I wanted to feel like I was doing something for his angry red skin! If I had known about this stuff, I might have tried it!
Soon to be mom says
Does anyone have recommendations for a diaper pail?
And a diaper bag?
My budget is not huge so price conscious yet quality picks would be most appreciated. Thanks!
KateMiddletown says
I didn’t mess with a diaper pail – just a trashcan with a step-on lid and emptied it daily. (Apparently diaper pails are a topic of controversy, so YMMV.)
Pogo says
+1 We use the smallest SimpleHuman in stainless steel with a Febreze scented bag and empty it frequently.
I used a diaper pail once at a friend’s house and thought it actually smelled worse than the trashcan. However, I also 75% cloth diaper so the pail only has his overnight (pee) diapers and dirty wipes. Maybe that is why?
A friend gave me the tip to buy the smallest can because 1) it forces you to change it regularly and 2) it doesn’t weigh 800 lbs when you go to take it out (like the Diaper Genie or Ubbi).
Anonymous says
YES! I’ve had 3 kids and we cloth diapered the first 2 about 95% using only a simple human trash can – never had any smell issues. Kid #3 was cloth diapered for the first year but then we gave up. But I was unwilling to purchase a diaper pail because every house I’ve ever been to with a diaper pail STINKS to high heaven (all over the house too, I guess parents just get used to it??). So we have the small (I think 10-liter) all stainless simple human can (the all stainless seems to be better because the plastic lid can get stinky – we used to have one in the kitchen). We also keep it in the bathroom, which is nice because then no diapers are left in the room (since you go wash your hands after changing baby anyway). But we did keep a hanging plastic bag near the changing table the first couple of months when we were changing pee really frequently & baby couldn’t grab it. Then when it got kind of full we just dumped it into the bathroom can.
Also key for keeping away stench:
– post baby stage dump all the poop in to the toilet
– Keep miscellaneous plastic bags for stuffing stinky poopy diapers that can’t be dumped (we use newspaper bags for this because we still get a paper delivered! but also any random bag we get from takeout or whatever that is kind of gross to reuse for anything useful).
Anonymous says
When you say the smallest simple human, do you mean the teeny tiny ones they make for bathrooms? That seems like it wouldn’t even hold 3 diapers.
Mrs. Jones says
+1
Anonymous says
Yes to this. I think it was $15 at Walmart. The big white 13 gallon with a press lid.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We like the Ubbi diaper pail. It comes with its own bags but a set of three rolls seriously lasts forever. It doesn’t make the room smell when it’s closed, which is key.
I just got the SkipHop diaper backpack for baby #2. It seems to have a lot of compartments and looks more like a regular backpack than a diaper bag.
Em says
We also have the Ubbi diaper pail and you can use regular trash bags with it. Our son is 2 1/2 and we only change the bag once a week and have never had an issue with smells. The Ubbi and the Keekaroo peanut changer are two baby items I have strong brand loyalty on.
anon says
Ditto Ubbi. Being able to use regular trash bags with it is huge and ends up saving money down the road.
I’m also hugely loyal to both the Ubbi and the Peanut! Good choices!
Anonymous says
Sorry to hijack, but what’s the deal with the Keekaroo? I’m working on setting up my nursery now and was going to get a much less expensive changing pad (I never heard of the peanut changer until your comment). Why was the Keekaroo worth the price for you?
Anon says
I got the Bumbo changing pad instead of the Keekaroo because it was $70 instead of $130. With the traditional changing pads you need to use a fabric cover. Then you need to clean the cover. It’s a dirty location, and I didn’t want more dirty laundry.
HSAL says
I would say it’s worth it to put on your registry, but not to buy yourself. It’s convenient to be able to wipe off, totally, but it’s also convenient to throw waterproof pads in the washing machine – cover and pad all in one, so not that much laundry. We never had so many messes that it came in that handy. And unless you’re only changing diapers in one place, you either need to carry it around with you or buy multiples.
Em says
We have used it daily since my son was born (so over 2 1/2 years). For the first year, it doesn’t really matter what diaper changing pad you use. What made it worth it for us is that we were able to just move it to the ground once he got wriggly around one year. Once they start moving, the diaper changing messes become infinitely more common. It’s much easier and less disgusting to wipe the changing pad down than to be cleaning poop off the carpet or a blanket.
Pogo says
Not having to wash it. Regular changing pads have a cloth cover which seems like it would need to be washed every day? Or maybe my kid is just an explosive pooper… but I always have to wipe up under his butt when changing him and the Keekaroo makes that so easy.
I never needed a changing table anywhere else in my house, because LO gets changed after he wakes up, after first nap, after second nap, and before bed. If he needs an ad hoc diaper change other than those times, I just bring him upstairs.
I also really like how sturdy it is. The fabric ones – while I believe you are supposed to somehow affix them to the table – are so flimsy that I’d be worried about LO sliding off.
Katarina says
We didn’t us a changing pad at all, and just used an old towel on the floor. We were doing so much laundry in the early days it didn’t matter, and we had a lot of spares. We also never had a diaper pail.
Anon says
I just bought 2 changing pad covers and then a like 6 of the little cloth liner waterproof liner things. I think Munchkin makes a 3-pack for $10. Stick that under the butt (it lives on our changing pad) and then throw it in the wash when needed. While the cloth liner things probably got swapped out daily when she was an explosive pooper (or sometimes multiple times a day), now it’s like weekly and we wash the actual changing pad cover maaybe once every 3 months.
Also, for the downstairs changing pad on the PNP, we used one of those hospital baby blankets (absorbent second layer if needed) under a disposable paper liner (BRU used to sell them, but I’ve seen others) and that was HUGE for the early days when poop was messy, she was liable to pee with the diaper off and I was tired and didn’t want to bother with laundry.
Anonymous says
Good lord that is expensive. We got something like this $18 vinyl model for $5 from a yard sale and used it for 3.5 years.. I did use washable fabric covers with it. We had like 3 or 4 (free hand me downs) and so it was NBD to change them, but you could also just wipe clean.
https://www.target.com/p/l-a-baby-changing-pad/-/A-50193526
Lyssa says
We just used the basic changing pad without the fabric covers. I mean, we started out using the covers, but they would get dirty and we’d forget to put a new one down, and eventually just realized that it’s easier to just wipe off the vinyl without a cover. The covers look a little cuter, but there’s absolutely no other reason I could think of to use them.
NoVaMom says
I hear what the Keekaroo proponents are saying here, but I have to say, this is why people say babies are so expensive. Nobody need a $140 changing pad. That’s not even close to a true need. One of the $20-30 options available everywhere is a perfectly good option. I know how the argument goes – oh but you’ll use it so many times that cost per use is so low! But you could make that argument about almost every baby item (of which there are many!), and if every time you pick the absurdly priced option, you will end up spending thousands of dollars before you baby is even born, which is entirely unnecessary.
Lyssa says
We got a Columbia backpack style diaper bag for our second and loved it (I can’t recall which model, but it looks like they have several similar ones). I highly recommend a backpack style one. I also liked that it doesn’t really look like a diaper bag, so it’s useful for a long time. It was around $50.
Anon says
+1 for the Ubbi and the Keekaroo. I love them both and consider them some of my baby “must haves”.
Anon. says
We have the Ubbi diaper paid and I’m a big fan. It’s made of steel, so the smell is trapped inside. Maybe a little more $$ up front, but it just uses regular garbage bags, so you’re not buying the diaper genie refill things all the time.
My advice on diaper bag – buy something that your husband will carry. Instead of a real diaper bag we have a large Timbuk2 messenger bag. It holds everything and once it is no longer needed as a diaper bag it will still be useful.
Cb says
Ubbi – I got mine for super cheap in a discontinued color and that thing is totally worth it. We just use it with regular bags.
I don’t use a diaper bag – I bought the fjallraven backpack that I’d been eyeing and throw in a wetbag (we use cloth nappies during the day), a skiphop clutch, and a little pouch with spare clothes etc. When I was on mat leave, I used a Boba carrier 90% of the time so a backpack was easiest. Now I just use an IKEA tote for transporting things to and from nursery. Not an elegant solution but it does the trick and doesn’t matter if something spills/it gets gross.
Allie says
I’m a lone dissenter to ubbi but really prefer the smaller sized diaper dekor. We are very happy with the skip hop diaper backpack.
anon. says
You aren’t alone. I. HATED. THE. UBBI. It did not work in our house, no idea why. At about 6 months we switched to the old standby diaper genie and the smell went away in a day.
AwayEmily says
+1 for Ubbi. We keep the diaper pail in our room and it never smells at all.
AwayEmily says
Oh and diaper bag — we got a black Baggu canvas backpack for $40. It’s unisex and most importantly THE ENTIRE THING CAN GO THROUGH THE WASH. So far it has done that many times (breastmilk, juice, sunscreen, peanut butter).
https://baggu.com/products/drawstring-backpack-black?variant=30968193223
Anonymous says
You don’t need either. Just use a regular trash can (preferably with lid and a foot pedal) and a large tote bag. We have an Ubbu diaper pail but it doesn’t contain the smell at all. If I could I’d it again I wouldn’t buy one.
Anon says
We have the diaper dekor plus upstairs and switched from the diaper genie to the munchkin version downstairs. The razor on the genie for cutting the bags dulled about 5 months in, and it wasn’t great at containing smell. The diaper dekor and the munchkin are both great at containing smell (unless open, and then mostly when it’s full). We empty the dekor one (mostly pee diapers from overnight) probably every 10-14 days and the munchkin one probably every 4-5 days (downstairs, lots of very stinky diapers). That probably horrifies all of the rest of you, but our kitchen trash only goes out every 2-3 days, so c’est la vie.
Anon says
On diaper bags, we have the skiphop signature duo one. That is my diaper bag and I love it. My husband uses “diaper kits” and just puts them in his gym bag and a regular black tote bag. This morning we were about to walk out the door and he forgot his, so I made him take mine out and it was fine – his chief complaint is that there is too much “unnecessary” stuff in there (yet he’s always grateful when we need it when we go out), things like lotion, sunscreen, diaper rash cream, a few small toys, change of clothes, light jacket, hat, baby tylenol (voracious teether at the moment), a few disposable changing table liners in case I don’t want to put my nice pad on a gross surface.
More importantly, I highly, highly, highly recommend the Skiphop Pronto Changing Station. I keep one in each of our cars (with a packet of wipes and a few spare diapers – I have forgotten the diaper bag a time or two), one for when we travel (turns any hotel room desk or coffee table into a changing table (or my parents’ kitchen island), see also car trunks, airport floors, etc.), and then my husband I think keeps his in his “diaper kits”. But if you’re into bare essentials, having that with a few wipes and a few diapers can turn any bag into a diaper bag.
Anonymous says
+1 to the Skip Hop Pronto, down to keeping it in the car for emergencies. We only have one but also keep a gallon sized ziplock bag in the other car, with a couple of diapers, wipes, and a plastic bag for disposing of nasty diapers. We always have a spare towel in that car too so we can change anywhere if needed.
Anon says
Spare towels also come in handy when your LO vomits all over the car seat and you get their clothes changed (or just take them off) but don’t want to put them back down into the pool of vomit you are only marginally able to wipe up. Instant seat liner for the time it takes you to get home (even if not technically car-seat approved).
Other car essentials for me include box of gallon ziplocs (trash, dirty diapers, vomit clothes, wet swimsuits) and-or a wetbag (same uses) and a roll of paper towels.
DLC says
We also had a diaper dekor- it has later almost seven years now and is still going strong. I like that you can also use it as a regular trash can when you are done with diapers.
For diaper bag, we just got a messenger bag from REI- also with the intention of to being used for non-baby purposes afterwards. Also- since my husband and I wanted a bag we could share, the messenger bag, with the over the shoulder strap proved quite versatile. I might have opted for a backpack if it were just me, though.
Tunnel says
We used a Diaper Genie upstairs and have not had any problems with it. Emptied it about 1-2x per week. Downstairs we just threw diapers in a bag and tossed the stinky ones straight into the trash in the garage.
Swim lessons? says
More experienced parents, talk to me about swim lessons or resources for introducing children to water, please.
DD is over 2 1/2 and I’d like to make more of an effort to get her more comfortable with the water, for long-term safety reasons. We don’t have a pool and don’t go to the pool often, but we do outdoor activities around and on the water in the summers. We’ve taken her into my parent’s hot tub (lukewarm water in the summer) and pools and mountain lakes periodically.
My preference would be to introduce her to water ourselves and save parent-and-child lessons until later for a couple of reasons: (1) Committing to lessons would be difficult with our schedules, (2) DD is generally very reserved around people and I think she might not be as open to exploring and being comfortable with the water if she feels she is “performing” for a group, and (3) at this age, especially out of daycare hours, I try to avoid more structured or instructive activities for DD.
Are there reasons I should just do swim lessons instead?
And if not, does anyone have recommendations as to resources (books, etc.) on how to best introduce children to water / teach to swim (or whatever is age-appropriate for a 2-3 year old)? As an aside, I’m planning on taking my infant/toddler CPR refresher soon, and bring the in-laws if possible (DH is a pediatric nurse, so no issues there).
avocado says
I would not bother with formal swim lessons until she is 4 to 4.5 years old and really ready to learn to swim. Swim lessons for toddlers are mostly just about getting kids comfortable in the water. If you aren’t interested in swim lessons yet, I would just keep exposing her to water and encouraging her to practice putting her face in and blowing bubbles.
Anonymous says
All these questions are why swim lessons are a thing. They’re not really just to teach the child. They’re to teach you, the parent, how to safely interact with water and child. They’re lifesaving and everyone should be in them. Australia provides them to every child for this reason. Do them.
Anonymous says
I second lessons. I’d recommend signing up for a session of parent/child lessons, and then continuing what you learn on your own.
DLC says
+1. We enrolled our kids in parent-child swim lessons from about 9 months old, and the instructor said that he was there to teach the parents, not the kids.
Anonymous says
I would book a private lesson or two at a local pool to get some ‘in the water’ tips about introducing your kid to the water.
We started semi-private lessons at age 3. At that age it wasn’t parent-child. Just under 2 was parent-child at our local pool. The kids loved them but it does take a while to learn to swim. DH and I booked the kids lessons for the same time as open lane swims and we alternated weeks with one of us getting in a few lane swims while the other watched the kids. Don’t worry if there’s fussy or tears at the beginning, just takes a couple weeks to adjust.
anon says
Any good children’s swim program is going to make everything fun, not like she’s on display or performing. I am a good swimmer and still got a lot out of the parent-child swim classes when they were babies. It taught me what my kids are capable of; in some ways, I think my natural inclination would’ve been to hold them back more. Good instructors also will focus on water safety, and you may be surprised what you take away from their instruction. Don’t forget the end goal is independence, and it’s harder to get there when the kid is used to hanging onto you. At 2 1/2, I would actually recommend a solo swim class for your kid rather than parent-tot.
I don’t know what to tell you — swim lessons are a non-negotiable for our family. So many of our summer activities revolve around water. To me, it just makes good sense to give our kids a strong background in swimming. I’m not banking on any of them becoming the next Michael Phelps; I really see this as a safety issue. I would recommend going to a swim school if you can. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth it. We’ve done both the YMCA and swim schools, and the quality of instruction has been so much higher at the specialty place.
My sister has little ones and also loves to spend time with them near the water and it drives me crazy that she’s never put her 4-year-old in swim lessons. He vascilates between being completely freaked out by the water, and just not having a great sense of safety even though he’s a cautious kid in general.
EP-er says
Being safe around the water is a life skill. I felt more comfortable outsourcing this to swim lessons, because the instructors have tips & tricks I wouldn’t know about. We tried lessons at the community center, but found it loud, cold, & too many kids. We switched to AquaTots (or Goldfish or whatever is in your area) and have been very happy. Small classes, warm water, knowledgeable teachers. I hear what you are saying on scheduling – can you do a Saturday or Sunday morning/afternoon class instead of week days after daycare?
Spirograph says
We do YMCA swim lessons, which is also how I learned to swim back in the day. 2.5 is on the bubble whether it’s still parent-child group classes or kid alone, depending on level of comfort with both water and non-parent instruction. The parent-child classes and primarily consist of playing little games splashing in the water, practicing climbing in and out of the pool, and blowing bubbles. I do all of this in the pool all summer with my kids, so I haven’t found them super useful. Realistically, no 2.5 year old is water-safe, so no amount of lessons would change my need to be arm’s-reach from the toddler in the water.
The 1st level of kid alone group classes are capped at 5 students, and they work on much of the same, plus basic water safety, floating, paddling, etc. The peer pressure aspect of the group lessons has been helpful for my kids, they have fun, and the quality of instruction is fine. I’ve seen young kids doing private lessons at the YMCA as well, but I’m not sure it makes a ton of difference until 4-5 when the really seem to “get” swimming and have the gross motor skills to match.
Spirograph says
oops, should have mentioned — most places will have little kid classes on weekend mornings, which works best for my schedule. I totally understand not wanting to add more structured activities, but this has always been a non-negotiable for me. If there’s something else going on one day, we don’t feel bad skipping because the cost isn’t huge, but Saturday swim lessons are a standing appointment. I actually like that it gets me up and out of the house; I typically do my own workout while the kids swim.
anon says
I don’t find kid swim lessons to be useful until they switch from parent-tot to solo. Before that the kids are too little to learn much. We make sure to go to the pool often enough that our 2 yo is comfortable in the water and will start more more formal lessons at 3 when she can attend without a parent.
OP says
Thank you, all, for responses. I really like the idea of starting with a couple private lessons (before she hits age three) and then looking into solo lessons at local swim schools once she reaches that age.
Part of the problem I was running into is that in our area (mid-sized west coast city), all swim lessons for her age group at community (city, YMCA) pools are during her nap time, and at 2 1/2, she still consistently takes and needs 2-4 hour naps on the weekends (which I love!).
Will look for weekend morning classes indoors during the winter.
anon says
Age 2.5 was the perfect age to start my son in lessons. At our swim school, at that age, it was a parent-tot class. His school won’t move them out of that class until the children are mature enough to listen and the ratio is 4 children to 1 teacher. After 6 months, DS was getting burnt out so we pulled him from lessons. We restarted them last March and he was in a 4 to 1 ratio class without a parent. He’s now almost 4 and LOVES swimming. He can swim a good 20 yards with no assistance and he’s learning forward crawl and backstroke. He’s happy after each weekly lesson so we’ll keep doing them as long as that’s the case.
Anonymous says
My kids are 5, 2 and 3m . The older one is a competent swimmer. The middle one is a water bug that knows how to get herself out of the pool, can use a noodle to float, stick her face in the water, etc. The baby hasn’t gone in yet.
We only did formal swim lessons for our oldest at 4, and she was already comfortable in the water. We’ll do formal lessons next spring for the middle one before next summer- I think she’ll be ready.
The key is getting in the water with them and letting them feel uncomfortable but safe. Do blast-offs, swing them around gently by their arms, pop them up and down in the water- all those things are things they do in parent/child swim classes.
CHL says
This may be the most ridiculous question ever — is there a substantive difference between $25 beanbag chair from target and a $100 from Pottery Barn Kids? Seems like a ridiculous price for a beanbag chair but I don’t want foam beads all over my basement or other substandard beanbag performance issues.
HSAL says
I have no advice, but I am laughing at “substandard beanbag performance issues.”
Mrs. Jones says
Our Target beanbag is a few years old and still going strong.
anon says
I have asked myself the same question. :) Here’s where I ended up:
1) How nice does a beanbag really need to be?
2) Do we really want one of those giant monstrosities at all?
So I ended up not getting one.
Redux says
2(a) If we buy one of these giant monstrosities, and later decide we don’t want it, will I have a harder time parting with something I paid $100 for?
FVNC says
This may be a better question for the main s i t e, but I’ll ask here first: are there any Kansas City area moms here? My family will be relocating there temporarily and I’d love any recommendations for where to live, daycares, elementary schools, etc. We’re coming from the east coast and don’t know anything about the area although we’ve heard great things. Husband will be at Leavenworth and is not opposed to a long-ish commute; I’m a remote employee; one kiddo will be in daycare and another starting first grade. Thanks!
Preschool Transition Help says
I just need to get this off my mind, and I welcome any feedback.
My 2y10m old moved from the 2 year old room at her Montessori to the 3-5 year old (“big) room early September. She moved along up with a few friends, and skills-wise she was ready. Last night my daughter said she doesn’t like the big room and that the work in the big room is hard. Additionally, one of the friendships with her old friends has deteriorated, I believe due to poor/stressful transition resulting in my daughter acting out at times (likely hitting her friend).
I’m trying not to get down on myself for moving her up, because it appears she was not ready emotionally. We suspect she might be a highly sensitive child. We can’t move her back to the 2 year old class. How can I help her cope with the new, big class?
anon says
How does your DD feel about the teachers? Bonding with the teachers is usually a big help to overall comfort.
OP says
She is hot and cold with the primary teacher.
Tfor22 says
I suggest talking with the teacher as soon as you can. I know that is the advice almost every poster gets. One thing you can do is make some of the suggestions for teachers in the HSC book. I would not bring a printed list but instead float the ideas you think would work best for your child.
The other plus of a meeting in person and soon is that you can see if it is an issue of fit for your child. My son’s first Primary teacher in Montessori just didn’t get him, kind of intimidated him, and was also going through a tough time in her life. She ended up leaving before I had to ask that he be switched to the other classroom. (Because he went for a full day plus aftercare he was in problem teacher’s class in the morning but thriving in the other classroom in the afternoon and in aftercare.)
If you have a great relationship with the Toddler teacher you can also ask that teacher for advice on the transition. It is a very big transition, and it will take everyone a while to get used to it. I remember I had to basically bring my son dinner at first when I picked him up every day just before 6. He would eat it then conk out in the car during the 7 minute drive home. He’d sleep until early morning since there is no nap in Primary and the new work was so challenging.
OP says
Your feedback is well taken.
Yes, I intend to speak with the teacher and director. I’ve only started the HSC book, and I am optimistic about what insights I will gain.
And, I hadn’t considered how the intensity of the new, challenging work might affect her eating and sleeping. I’m going to give that a second look.
MontessoriHSC says
I’m sure this will be controversial b/c Montessori is so well loved, but I pulled my HSC from a montessori program. He also thrived in the pre-primary classroom, but got lost in the big mixed age class. He didn’t click well with the primary teacher, and absolutely hated going. We toughed it out for a year, but then moved him to a much smaller, Reggio program. He thrived in a smaller class with a very loving teacher. He liked the focus on social emotional stuff — it was talked about so much more than in our Montessori program. Socializing wasn’t natural to him (even though he was excelling at the academic work), and the integration of imaginary play and social, collaborative work with guidance from a teacher was transformative for him. I think my other would have excelled in a Montessori program, and though most Montessori programs claim they work for all students, I don’t think it’s a great fit for all kids.
Anonymous says
She could be 100% ready and still have this happen – transitions are hard for young kids.
In addition to talking to the teacher, I also suggest trying to schedule more playdates with kids in the class – new and old friends alike – on the weekend to try to cement those bonds.
anon says
If it helps, kid memories are short at that age. If the issue with the friend is that your DD is hitting her, the friendship will likely resume once your DD stops hitting. The teachers should be able to be on top of that behavior and work with your DD to stop it.
Nosebleed says
Anyone have a child who gets frequent nosebleeds? 5 year old son will sometimes have 3 in a week, other times only once a month. Is this worth going to an ENT about and potentially getting it cauterized? Son has gotten so many that it doesn’t bother him per se, but it has sometimes impeded his ability to do things at school (he had to sit out of soccer once because of the nosebleed).
Anonymous says
Unless the frequency is increasing or bothersome I wouldn’t worry. I have three kids and one is like this. It’s lessened on its own as he’s gotten older. Tends to be worse in the winter with dry air so I use a saline spray regularly to prevent a bit.
EP-er says
My daughter gets them. (As did I, my brother, my father.) I had a really scary incident where I got called to day care because they couldn’t get her bloody nose stopped. I started tracking them to have data for my pediatrician. The ped asked if she was having bleeding along her gums when brushing (no) or unusual bruising. (also no.) She said some kids just get them & bloodwork didn’t show any underlying conditions. Recommended using saline spray regularly, adding a humidifier, and putting vaseline up her nose with a q-tip.
My daughter is in first grade and handles them like a champ. She wakes up when they start in the middle of night; she handles them at school on her own. I send in lots of extra boxes of kleenex. I would talk to your ped, but wouldn’t rush to cauterization. FWIW, we all outgrew them by high school or so.
KateMiddletown says
+1 This is what our Ped said, too. It was especially bad during the winter/spring, but honestly we run the humidifier near her bed nightly and add in a swab of vaseline when it’s especially dry.
Anon says
I had very frequent nosebleeds as a kid and ended up having my nose cauterized when I was 9 or 10, after a scary 90+ minute one that just would not stop bleeding. Nothing helped (humidifiers, saline spray, etc.). The cauterization was painful but brief, and it totally solved my nosebleed issues. I almost never get them now, 20+ years later. Looking back, I’m really glad that I had the cauterization done. I remember being bothered by the anxiety of not knowing if and when I would get a nosebleed at school, at a friend’s house, at gymnastics practice, etc. (would I ruin my clothes? would there be tissues nearby? would I gross people out? would it be in the middle of something important?) and the cauterization took that big weight off of my shoulders.
Nosy Neighbors Hate Noise says
Over the weekend I was building an Ikea bookcase for the nursery I’m setting up, which involved a lot of loud banging with a rubber mallet for all of the dang pegs ubiquitous in Ikea furniture. Toward the end when the banging was admittedly particularly prolonged my neighbor (in a 4-unit condo building) started banging angrily on the wall that separates our units and screaming something incomprehensible. He was very obviously mad. We finished the bookcase at 5pm on a Sunday, so I don’t think it was an unreasonable amount of noise for 2 usually VERY quiet people to make.
My husband got pretty upset at the reaction. I thought it was unreasonable, but tried to treat it like what it was– a temper tantrum by a grown man– cue eye roll.
Anyway, all this got me thinking about what kinds of reactions my neighbors are going to have once we have a baby crying around the clock come late November. Would you do anything to prepare for this? They know I’m pregnant (it’s obvious), so it would seem pointless to warn them that a baby is coming. But I really don’t want to deal with them banging on my walls in the future.
Pogo says
Wow, that is kind of ridiculous. I think weekend daytime housework is totally acceptable. Early morning or evening/night time – that’s when it would be cause for a knock on the door, not wall banging and screaming.
I don’t really know what to say. I’m not one of those people who is overly bothered by neighbor noises, though. I once shared a wall with an opera singer. I always just felt like that was part of the deal when you live in an apartment. People make noise? No one ever came to me to ask if it was OK if their baby cried (lol). However, I never shared a wall with a baby – I could only hear them in the hallway.
AwayEmily says
The best long-term strategy (which is unfortunately a liiiiittle compromised by the banging/yelling incident) is to get your neighbor to self-identify as a kind, nice neighbor. Then he will be less likely to take action (ie, yell at you for having a crying baby) that conflicts with this identity. So, I would NOT advise either passive aggressive or regular aggressive overtures. Nor would I apologize at all. Instead I would strategically run into him in the hall, start a casual conversation, and then say something like “we feel really lucky to have a neighbor like you, because…” Fill in the rest however you can. Because “you’ve lived here for a long time and really understand the neighborhood.” “Because you have had kids and know what it’s like” “Because you’re always so careful to park your car in the right place.” Basically, you want him to feel like a good, kind, neighbor. I would ignore the banging incident altogether when you talk to him unless he brigns it up. If he does bring it up say something like “Ikea furniture is the worst, isn’t it! Thanks for tolerating the noise!” (as long as you can say that sincerely)
Annie says
Eh I wouldn’t borrow trouble. Our neighbors were shockingly nice about our crying baby — and the plus side is you’ll probably be VERY quiet when the baby is asleep. The only time we warned our neighbors was before sleep training – we didn’t want them to think that anything was wrong.
Anonymous says
That’s a great idea to warn your neighbors when you are sleep training. I have plenty of experience with little ones of various ages. I had some short-term neighbors whose children’s walls bordered my bedroom wall so I’d occasionally hear the 4ish-month-old cry. It was SO HARD not to worry or go knock on their door just to make sure everything was okay. There’s something instinctual about wanting to rescue a crying infant, even when my brain knew better. I found myself timing the crying just as I would if I were babysitting. I don’t think it ever exceeded five minutes :).
Anon says
Pregnancy constipation. I’m scared – I had some bleeding. What actually workedfor you? I think I’m getting tons of fibre, but I don’t know…
Anon says
Delivery. Other than that, make sure you’re drinking plenty of water and I’m reasonably certain colace is OK to take while pregnant (but ask your doctor).
CPA Lady says
Coffee. A large vat of sugary iced coffee from Dunkin, to be specific.
Also, she’s really awful with the whole anti vax claptrap, but Jenny McCarthy’s book Belly Laughs has the most hilarious chapter on pregnancy constipation called “passing Stonehenge”. I laughed so hard tears were pouring down my face.
Anon says
Colace and LOTS of water, but giving birth is pretty much the only cure. It really sucks.
Anonymous says
Colace made me more backed up. According to my doctor, that’s the case for ~25% of people. Fwiw, my postpartum constipation was even worse. I had one BM that was harder to get out than the baby. Sorry to scare you…Metamucil has helped me a bit, but hasn’t been a complete cure.
EB says
LOL. I giggled at this description, but the same happened to me. It was BY FAR the worst part of having my son.
Anonymous says
magnesium supplements
Peaches, pears, plums, prunes also help.
Too much fibre if you are not also drinking enough water, can actually make it worse.
KateMiddletown says
+1. Magnesium supplements cleared me right up (counteracts iron supplements constipating effects.) I really like CALM brand (found at WF but Amazon has it too.)
Anonymous says
I use Calm brand as well because I’d love to get more natural sources of magnesium in my diet but that just doesn’t happen most days.
Leafy greens, spinach, nuts, beans, peas, and soybeans are also good sources
Anonymous says
Experiment with different kinds of fiber. I eat a ton of salads and fruit, so I thought I was getting enough fiber. Turns out bran was the magic bullet for me. I also found colace to be somewhat helpful.
Anon says
Water and exercise. Make sure you are getting enough movement. Sometimes hot water helps more for some reason?
Anonymous says
Bran cereal and dates worked for me. The other suggestions here are all great as well. Just be careful not to overdo it. It’s a balancing act. I went from constipation to loose bowels and let me just say I’d prefer the former!
NYCer says
Magnesium supplements, a lot of water, prunes, and regular exercise.
Anonymous says
My OB ok’d miralax and it was absolutely the only thing that made any difference for me.
Anonymous says
Also the occasional glycerin suppository. Sounds gross but totally necessary.
cmv? says
Anyone have tips on cmv prevention? I didn’t worry about this (or know about it) when preg with #1, but I’m newly pregnant and pretty concerned about it since my oldest is in daycare and under 2 (prime cmv transmission age). Some of the guidelines I’ve seen are nuts – there’s no way I’m not kissing my 1 year old for the next 9 months! But I’d appreciate any tips. Thank you!
Anonymous says
I had to google cmv. I have 3 kids and had an <2 year old in the house when I was pregnant with #2 and #3, and none of my OBs ever mentioned it. So, I'd ask your doctor whether you need to do anything special. Based on my Dr. Google degree, Congenital CMV seems like a Black Swan event, and your normal hand-washing and cleaning routine is probably sufficient.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I had also never heard of this and neither my OB nor midwife mentioned it. I had a sub-2 year old when I was in the first trimester and now have an almost 2.5 year old, in full time daycare the whole time. Definitely kissed him!
AwayEmily says
I was in the same position as you (toddler plus baby on the way) and I stopped sharing food/drink with her, but that’s the only real precaution I took (I assume you’re already washing your hands after diaper changes). It helped to get my husband on board too, so he would remind me not to eat the toddler’s leftovers, etc.
Anon says
A good family friend’s son was born deaf due to CMV. She had a toddler at the time. She is so frustrated that she wasn’t told more about it to help prevent it happening. She is always posting information about it. She says forehead kisses are fine, its just saliva kisses (so on the mouth) that are not okay.
https://www.nationalcmv.org/overview/prevention-tips
OP says
Yes – I heard about it from a NYT article in the last year or two. My understanding is that it’s actually much more common than things you hear cautioned about all the time in pregnancy, like scooping the litter box. It’s pretty frustrating that there’s no vaccine for it and very little info about it.
Anon says
Its way more common than Zika but everyone is worried about travel way more than CMV!
Anonymous says
Per CDC, wash your hands after changing diapers and don’t share cups, food, utensils with toddler. They don’t recommend abstaining from kissing the 1 year old, that would be harsh.
TTC Anon says
Has anyone used PreSeed lubricant for TTC? Did it help?
Anon says
We did and no, it didn’t seem to make a difference for us. We used it for a few months without success and ended up conceiving without it.
Anony says
I recommend using a menstrual cup to “keep everything in”
Anonymous says
I stayed lying down with hips elevated on a couple pillows for 20 mins after each time. We DTD every second day throughout my cycle and got pregnant relatively quickly both times. I realize that this may be blind luck.
TTC Anon says
Thanks for the tip! I know it can be blind luck but am willing to try if that worked for you. I’ve actually been peeing right away because I’m worried about getting a UTI but I guess I should try to wait a bit.
Anonymous says
+1
TTC Anon says
Thanks–will look into that!
anon says
We used it and it “worked” both times (in that I got pregnant, but I was also using an ovulation tracker to make sure we did it during my fertile period so I don’t think I would credit the preseed). I did think it was an amazing lubricant in general, though. Much much better than most of the ones I’ve tried. If it wasn’t so $$ I would totally use it as my regular lube.
TTC Anon says
Thanks for letting me know it “worked”! I am also tracking with OPKs and charting CM/temps as well so hopefully timing it right but thinking of using PreSeed to help things move along. Basically want to do whatever can help at this point. Will probably plan to see a RE if I don’t get pregnant this cycle.
Anonymous says
Didn’t help but loved it as a lubricant and have used for years!
Anonymous says
Anyone have experience and luck with transitioning to a part time legal job after kids? I know this is probably a pipe dream, but I’d really love something with 3-4 days a week, relatively set hours and somewhat decent pay vs. being a contractor. I have looked into legal contracting companies and they sound great, but they’re generally not part time. Their offering is more project based, a few months on, a few months off and that’s not quite what I’m looking for.
Anonymous says
No but if you find it please report back! This is my ideal as well.