Budget Thursday: Metallic Leather Shopper

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I used to have a bag like this when I first moved into the city. I used it so much the handles ended up separating from the bag itself, but it was amazing while it lasted. It was nice enough to bring to work, it held anything and everything, and I stuffed it full on a daily basis. When I came across this bag, I immediately thought it would also be great for hauling everything my toddler needs during an outing, while still looking nice and somewhat put-together. I love the long double handles and the deconstructed, soft leather. My preference in metallics is gold, so that’s another box to check in the pro-ordering column. I’d love to own this bag (again)! It is $89.90 at Zara. Metallic Leather Shopper

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Today I told my kid that I’m not going to respond unless he treats me with kindness. I’m just… not gonna respond unless he can be kind and respectful.

(Confession: sometimes I just give the kid what he asks for because it’s easier or I’m a sucker or I’m on a call or I don’t want more yelling or a dozen other reasons. Today, no more ‘I NEED WATER.’ It’s ‘May I please have some water, Mommy?’ with patient waiting or the highway.)

May the odds be ever in my favor.

I like this bag, but I’m putting away all of my leather bags and carrying only machine-washable fabric bags for the foreseeable future.

Anyone else starting to make more mistakes at work? I knew when this began that it would be impossible for me to maintain the same quality and volume of work while at home caring for toddlers, but I’m still really frustrated and I feel like I’m torpedoing a reputation that it took me years to build.

For those planning to send your kids back to school in the fall, what are your childcare plans?

The federal government is not developing the testing and contract tracing we need, and my state government is just as bad. My county government and school district can only do so much by themselves, and obviously the county has a giant budget deficit. I am expecting my kids classroom/school to have to shut down constantly over the next few years.

If the classroom closes because potential covid exposure, I can’t really rely on grandparent care like I do now. Is the answer just switching off sick days with DH? Hunting down any SAHPs with kids in the same class and pay them for days off? Just looking for ideas ahead of time.

Did anyone bre@stfeed and not buy a pump before giving birth? I have a long maternity leave, and am thinking I’ll switch to formula before going back to work. Wondering if I really do need a pump or not. Thanks!

Does anyone have a Snoo? It seems crazy expensive, but also seems like a lot of people REALLY like it and swear by its ability to soothe baby back to sleep (and get parents more sleep as a result). We’re expecting our first so we know nothing.

Sorry if this is a double post, looks my first one didn’t go through…did any bre@stfeed and not buy a pump? I have a long maternity leave and am planning to switch to formula before I go back to work, so I’m not sure if I really need one. Is there any reason not to wait until after the baby is born and buy one then if I decide I would like to have one?

School-aged kids at home.

One kid seems to talk 24/7 (including in her sleep). Is she like this at school? Teachers have never mentioned this.

Kids’ bathroom trashcan has 1 million dixie cups in it every day. Do they each do shots of water throughout the day? This wasn’t previously a thing (e.g., weekends, before every day became Groundhog Day).

Has anyone moved to a fully or 90% digital filing system at home? We are redoing our office setup and downsizing the desk/filing system. We will certainly be shredding a bunch of old stuff that is not relevant, but going forward I would love to keep less paper.

If you have, did you buy a scanner and organize all files yourself (seems easiest) or buy one of those things like “Neatdesk”? What do you still keep as paper? Do you store on one of your normal cloud services (@pple, g00gle, etc), buy something different, or just store a hard copy on an external drive? We have actually been audited a few times in recent years and needed to provide files, but I think even the supporting document submission for the audits were digital (DH does the taxes).

At work I’m like 99% digital, but my company of course has a very robust cloud infrastructure and I’m not liable if something gets lost (for the most part). Curious what others do!

Anyone have tips/ tricks for teaching your kid to rinse and spit? Our dentist suggested we move to flouride toothpaste once our 3 year old learns to spit, but so far no luck. He keeps swallowing the water and then there is nothing left for him to spit out.

Give me anecdotes about weaning an older toddler. My 26-month old still nurses in the morning after waking up – normally just for 15-20 minutes. She recently gave up a 2nd daily session (post-afternoon-nap), and rarely asks for it at other times of the day (and if she does ask, she accepts “no” without protesting). I’m not terribly anxious to quit, since a single session in the morning isn’t an inconvenience, even at non-quarantine times. (My husband, however, loves to remind me that I said pre-kid that I wanted to be done nursing by the time the baby could verbally ask for it – but he does understand that he doesn’t have a say here). I would like to be done by the time she’s 3, but I don’t want to have to fight her on it. Give me stories of your kids just deciding one day to be done?

Does anyone know how getting tests at LabCorp works? I looked on their website, but it seemed confusing. I’d like to get the Covid-19 antibody test, as I think I had Covid but wasn’t eligible for testing. Do I have to include my doctor, or do they handle ordering the test? Do they work with insurance? I know I should just call my local facility and ask, but I was hoping for some idea of what to expect before I call. Has anyone heard how reliable their test is?

Wanted to thank you all for your feedback yesterday. It meant a lot. DH and I hit a turning point yesterday and had a break-the-glass level conversation on things we had been holding back. I realized in almost 10 years of being together we had NEVER had a conversation like that.

In short, he’s had a lot of resentment build over the years and some revisionist history; the news of a second kid he was always on the fence about put him over the edge. I’m not perfect, but I stood my ground and brought receipts to and challenged some of his memories/past perceptions. We both agreed we have work to do to on our partnership (and agreed that…certainly COVID-19 hitting 2 months after moving to a new city while both working remotely in a 700 sq foot short-term rental flat with toddler and puppy underfoot isn’t helping), and I am looking into virtual couple’s therapy, which I hope leads HIM to his own therapy, or at least a space where I can bring it up organically. Recommendations welcome. He’s still making some cranky comments like “There goes the vacation home in southern France”, but then also asked me this morning “Do you think it’s a girl?”, so as many of you said, it’s setting in (but his reaction was…not okay).

And I’m hoping and praying for a healthy pregnancy – getting scanned next week! Please send all good vibes my way, and again, thank you all. Very grateful for this community.

Paging Anonymous anonymous who starts her day at 4 pm from yesterday’s post:

Did I write that post? (Was I sleep-typing???) What is happening in your house is exactly what is going on in mine. Every day is a battle in my house about time and childcare because we each know that whoever has to give the most time to childcare is taking a hit to their career/work reputation. I have so much despair about this whole thing. I am so angry about how everyone is ignoring the big elephant in the room about how when everyone is supposed to return to work, but there is still no childcare, a lot of women are going to have to leave the workforce (permanently, temporarily, it doesn’t matter). Not everyone can afford a nanny, which is what everyone is just expecting families to do once it’s allowed. (In full candor, my family can afford a nanny, which we have, but we pay her nearly $70k a year w/overtime. How many families can actually afford that??? And if you can afford that, it’s usually because you work in a job that demands so much of your time, hence the viscous time-childcare spiral I’m currently in.) So when employers start telling families to return to work, and the unemployment office tells families that they’re stopping unemployment because they have work available to them, and the childcare is still not open, what are families going to do? They’re most likely going to ask themselves who makes less, and that person will have to sacrifice the work. I know I’m going to get some responses commenting on how their husband is the one who would end up staying at home, but a couple exceptions here and there are exactly that: exceptions. Across the board, it will be the women that we lose from the workforce, and a part of society (even if just a small part) will be happy for it. Everyone knows it, but no one is willing to say it. The whole thing makes me so distraught.

A fun question for everyone — I’d like to get my favorite mom friends a small Mother’s Day token. It’s not something I do normally, but I designed a funny card because I figured that everyone can use some cheering up for now. What should I do? Booze? Candles? Chocolate? I’m looking at spending no more than $10-15.