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I love this houndstooth printed Oxford by the Lauren brand of Ralph Lauren. If your wardrobe consists of neutral basics, then this is a fun pop of pattern and interest in what looks to be a comfortable style. The classic shape nicely offsets the busy houndstooth. These shoes can definitely work with either ankle/cropped pants, or full length if you don’t want them to be too much on display. They look professional but also shoes that you’d be able to easily commute in, and a bonus is you’d be able to wear socks in the winter or no-show socks in the summer. The printed version is currently on sale for $64.99 — and for $57.99 at Amazon — but if you’d prefer a solid color, they’re also available in navy and “straw” suede for $104.99, also on sale. Maryna II Oxford This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.14.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Mid-Season Sale: extra 40% off; extra 20% off sale styles; 40% off new spring styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 40% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50-60% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off dresses; 30% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Cyber Spring: 50% off everything & free shipping
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time; 30% off select shoes
- Talbots – BOGO 50% off everything, includes markdowns (ends 4/14)
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Buy 3+ get 30% off forever favorites
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 30% off your purchase
- Old Navy – Up to 70% off clearance; sales on shorts and polos
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event; BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
DD, who is 2.5, is going through a phase of taking off her pajamas and diaper at night. As you can imagine, this creates a mess. Sometimes we discover it before we go to bed and other times not until morning. Short of putting her in backward zip up PJs, does anyone have any tips?
Anonymous says
Why not just put her in backwards zip up PJs?
Anonymous says
Backwards zip up pjs is the simplest solution.
I’ve also heard of duct-tape at the diaper tabs but that seems like a pain for changing afterwards.
anon OP says
She gets some medication by injection right before bed, so we try to avoid zippered PJs but if that’s what we have to do then so be it.
Lily says
Do you use a wearable blanket? May be that could help if you are using it already.
ElisaR says
oh yeah a sleepsack might help!
Buddy Holly says
Is she staying in the crib are starting to climb out of it. Would she use a mini potty in her room? We had to switch from a crib way before we were ready because my 19 month old climbed out of it and bumped her head, but it made potty training at age 2 so much easier because we just stuck one of those little potties in her room on top of a towel.
If the potty in the room doesn’t work (and by all means, keep her in that crib as long as possible if she isn’t climbing), then I think the backwards zip PJs work best, or maybe a backwards wearable blanket that could be put on after her medication.
Anonymous says
Does anyone make button up PJs for toddlers? I could see these being much trickier for my daughter than the zipper.
BabyBoom says
Our youngest went though this, and we actually put her in a onesie with snaps between the legs. For some reason she could undo the pjs if they had snaps all the way down the front, but she couldn’t figure out the onsie. We were able to find larger onsies at the a ma zon.
Strategy mom says
Duct tape on the diaper :)
Anonymous says
Oh these are bad
ElisaR says
very bad.
Buddy Holly says
I actually like them! But cannot imagine wearing with any of my professional outfits.
AnonATL says
My husband and I are planning to start TTC in the next 3 months. Other than the obvious of stopping birth control and taking folic acid, do you have any suggestions for prepping the body/mind for pregnancy and making conception easier? I read the article on here about the pregnancy corridor, but it includes the standard list of things I was already aware of. I’m gynecologically still young (late 20’s), moderately fit, and don’t smoke or take any prescriptions other than BC. This will be our first child.
Anonymous says
You don’t need to do anything.
Anon says
This.
Mrs. Jones says
+1
ElisaR says
+2
Anonymous says
If you don’t regularly exercise, start a simple routine that will be easy to maintain during pregnancy. Weekly yoga class or a walk after dinner in the evening are simple changes that can set you on the path to an active pregnancy and an active pregnancy usually has healthier outcomes for mom and baby. You don’t need a complicated routine or new sport, just incorporate regular activity.
Buddy Holly says
+1. There are so many studies that show how good outdoor time is for us, so I would try to do something that gets you outdoors (preferably in nature, like near a lake or beach or forest) for 2 hours a week. If all that natural air is good for us, I imagine it must be good for a growing baby.
Anon says
Do fun stuff. Go on vacation. Drink ALLL the drinks. I think that a ‘kick off trying to make a baby’moon is WAYYYY more fun than a babymoon – going on vacation when you’re already pregnant is not that great. And also, relax and read Expecting Better by Emily Oster.
Anonymous says
Cosigned. Also sleep in as much as you can!
Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility if you really want something to do to prepare :)
Anon says
My doctor recommended that book but I thought it was a bit much. Just know you can use test strips to predict when you are ovulating and this can help you time things better if you want to do that at some point. I started using test strips after 6 months off ttc and it helped us get pregnant. But otherwise just try to enjoy the time with your partner and use it as a chance to reconnect as a couple with shared dreams for the future
Anonymous says
+1 to the pre TTC vacation vs the babymoon. Ziplining and scuba diving were both knocked off my bucket list pre baby.
CPA Lady says
Eat all your favorite foods a bunch of times before the very smell of them makes you dry heave or actually throw up. Wear sheath dresses. Take pictures of your chest. Kondo your house or get any annoying home projects done.
Seriously though, there’s not much to do. TTC is a lot of hurry up and waiting for a lot of people.
Em says
Get life insurance if you don’t already have it. If you get it when you are pregnant or after giving birth, you will get dinged for recently gaining/losing a significant amount of weight (they don’t care that you gained it because you are pregnant) and for having a recent hospital stay (again, they don’t care that it was for a routine birth). Ask me how I know….
ElisaR says
hmm. i didn’t have this experience. i probably got life insurance 6 months after my son was born though.
Em says
I was only 15 lb above my pre-pregnancy weight when I got it at 6 months pp, but the large weight gain/loss and hospitalization within the past 12 months ere my only “negatives” and ended up dropping me down an entire rating. I still got a great rate (better than my husband), but I otherwise would have been in the highest rating.
Anon says
I second all the things said above. A random thing my obgyn recommended was also to stop eating fish high in mercury pre-pregnancy during the TTC stage, so keep that in mind too I guess!
Lyssa says
I agree with the others that you don’t *need* to do much, but one thing that helps is to go ahead and think about what you would like to restrict when you’re pregnant and how that fits into your life. I’m not a big restricter – I drank small amounts of beer and wine and my usual 2 cups of tea or occasional coffee/soda, so I don’t think you necessarily have to do much. But, if you plan to cut back/out caffeine, definitely get yourself used to that now – you don’t want to do it during the first trimester exhaustion!
Good luck and have fun!
Anon says
+1 to this. I dropped from 1000 mg a day of caffeine to 200 mg a day in the three months before TTC, and it was so much better doing that when it was just me rather than trying to deal with caffeine withdrawal and pregnancy exhaustion (and then the shift wasn’t terrible from 200 to 0 when DD showed an erratic heartbeat they suspected was linked to caffeine).
Anon says
Yeah I believe a cup of coffee is fine, but I ended up weaning myself to decaf about 6 months before we TTCed anyway. I had no first trimester exhaustion at all, which I chalked up to the fact that I wasn’t trying to minimize caffeine at the same time.
anon says
I also weaned to decaf. I’m glad I did, because once I actually got pregnant, the smell of coffee was totally nauseating.
Anonymous says
Agree that you don’t need to do anything to prepare. If you want to make conception easier, you could buy some ovulation strips I guess. If I were you I’d take a nice vacation in some very far away destination halfway around the world and gallivant around drinking booze and wearing a bikini while it still fits.
anne-on says
You really don’t NEED to do anything, but it might be a good time to have your titres tested – I got my TDAP/Pertusis booster a few months before I got pregnant and recently had to have my MMR booster again as my blood showed I wasn’t making enough antibodies.
I also second whoever recommended a fitness routine. I did a lot of pilates reformer before/during my pregnancy and it really helped alleviate back pain/sciatica. I wish I’d done more weight lifting though – carrying a 7-9lb baby was tiring! And mine had colic and liked only to be held, so my arms were jello after the first few weeks.
Anon says
This advice is out of date – they now want you to have a TDaP booster while pregnant to pass immunity to the baby, so having it right before pregnancy is pointless. MMR is good to check in advance though, since you can’t receive that shot while pregnant.
anon says
+1, you probably won’t need it, but OPKs make things quicker and take some of the guesswork out of timing. Plus if you ovulate late or early (like I do), it’s good to know so you can time TTC more accurately.
Anonymous says
+1 I was a healthy 28 year old for my first pregnancy, but I had long cycles (32-35 days) and my doctor recommended OPKs since guessing when I ovulated was a shot in the dark. Used them and conceived on day 20-21! Of my cycle. This also made my due date more accurate and I had DD on my due date. She said that a lot of times when people are ready and TTC they’re really ready, OPKs can just make the process quicker. But they can also stress people out so you have to know yourself.
anon. says
Real question – Why is every store always out of stock of most sizes in maternity clothes? This is not my first pregnancy but I need to fill some work-related gaps and Gap, Asos, Old Navy, and Loft are ALL out of sizes in work pants. Is the margin low on them? Why can’t they figure out stocking? Hoping someone here works in that area and can enlighten me. (I’m becoming desperate for pants and rechecking every morning!)
Anonymous says
I am with you 100% on the maternity stocking gripe. Also hate that I couldn’t get maternity clothes in person anywhere.
I wanted to chime in to say I got my favorite maternity work pants from Macy’s, so if you don’t have them on your list you might want to check there.
Quail says
YES!!!! It’s been five years since my last pregnancy and I swear, the options are WAY worse. I hate ordering everything online (with limited selection in my size), only having a few size options (none of which actually fit), and it being so expensive for crap clothing. And then I have to return things and order again. I couldn’t find ANY ankle pants. And don’t get me started on the $500 suit I had to buy (I had a second-trimester trial with a very traditional partner) that looks oddly juvenile and won’t press crisply.
Also, I ordered some nice stuff from Nordstrom, and they sent me the wrong things, because their warehouse had the wrong stickers on the products (i.e., the sticker when scanned said the work dress I ordered, but I was holding what was obviously a pair of jeans). I returned in person at Nordstrom and the representative said, oh yeah, we don’t actually sell any of that so it comes straight from the supplier’s warehouse and so we can’t do anything about it.
As a PP said, Macy’s has been my best option. Got some good deals on work tops. And the pants I have are OK. But I am more than ever done with trying to dress for work while pregnant. Thankfully it is finally warm enough here I can wear dresses (which are jersey body-con “workwear”).
/rant
anonanon says
Same – this is my second a few years after the first and I did not have this problem a few years ago. It’s very strange.
Anoner says
Check out Motherhood Maternity work pants available on Amazon. I bought on a whim and they are great. Stretchy and flattering and not too thick for summer months.
Anonymous says
+1 also try Ingrid & Isabel, Pea in the Pod, and Seraphine. Motherhood also has a lot of online sales that aren’t valid in store, so if you have one nearby you can ship to store to get the deals.
2 Cents says
Happened to me too. Add in the extra “fun” of being plus size, and I had zero work-appropriate options (why does every maternity t for plus size have something stupid written on it? Or sequins?). Thankfully, some of my stretchier not-maternity dresses fit through my third trimester, so I just wore those, adding leggings when needed.
lsw says
Ugh, yes, I’m not plus size but I’m tall…I can commiserate with needing to search even harder for clothes that work. I eventually gave up on maternity jeans.
Pogo says
Maternity sizes are surely lower volume sales than standard sizes, which definitely would make the company want to decrease stock liability. I don’t know enough about garment production to know if they would need re-tooling to change over production, but that could be why they aren’t configured to order (typically only used for production of parts where one line could run multiple configurations) – however my understanding is garment production is still largely manual, so maybe that doesn’t explain it.
My guess is that they forecast a certain # of sizes regardless of demand to reduce stock liability and scrap.
Anon says
I’ve noticed this too but old navy and loft seem to come back into stock fairly frequently. You just have to check constantly. When they are in stock, buy multiple sizes because I find maternity sizing to be way off.
Ash. says
Have you thought of getting some secondhand? They’re usually very lightly used, and many kids’ consignment stores/sales also have a maternity section. You could also probably get some cheap/free by posting on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist or the like.
Jeffiner says
My 4 year old daughter gets the concepts of “start/beginning” and “end/finish” mixed up. She gets frustrated when trying to tell us which show she wants to watch (like scrolling through all the episodes of My Little Pony on Prime) or which story in a collection she wants to read. She’ll even get mad thinking that “we can play after dinner” means “play before dinner.” Its such a basic concept that I’m not sure how to explain it to her, although I can understand why she’s confused (to this day I get right and left mixed up). She’s good at counting, should I try relating start and end to numbers? Read books about opposites?
Cb says
Is it a sentence structure issue? Maybe listing the routine would be helpful – we’ll have dinner, then we’ll clean up, and then play trains? Or having some sort of visual representation – stickers or magnets?
Anonymous says
+1
We do a lot of “first…then…”.
Anonymous says
I think relating it to counting is a great idea! My 3-year-old loves to list the things we have to do in order (she is clearly a planner like mama), so it’s a lot of “First we change my diaper. Second a new band-aid. Third songs. Fourth nap. We need to do four things!”
Redux says
Fifth: another band-aid, then later, sixth, I’ll want yet another band-aid!
(at least that’s where we’re at in my house. daycare has a brilliant rule that the kids don’t get a band-aid unless they’re bleeding. must adopt this rule at home.)
EP-er says
In our house, band-aids are only for if you “spring a leak!”
Jeffiner says
For Christmas last year, my friend got my daughter 400 (!!) character band-aids. My friend has older children, she must have known what phase we would be entering.
EB0220 says
That’s our rule too. No blood, no band-aid.
So Anon says
Have you tried a visual schedule? We use it for getting ready in the morning, so it shows a kid waking up in bed, then a picture of a kid getting dressed, then a picture of a child eating breakfast, etc. It has really helped both of my kiddos.
Annie says
My toddler girl strongly prefers pants with pockets (who doesn’t?) and I’m having a hard time finding summer-weight pocketed pants since we mostly buy leggings and leggings never have pockets. Any recommendations? Thanks!
anne-on says
Put her in boy’s cargo shorts? Do little girl shorts really not have pockets? That stinks. I think boden/princess awesome/hanna/primary seem to have dresses with pockets too.
Anonymous says
I think both Svaha and Princess Awesome do shorts and/or leggings with pockets.
Annie says
The princess awesome ones are great. Thank you!
AwayEmily says
Target cat and jack toddler boys section — my 3yo loves their cargo pants (and I think she looks super cute in them).
rakma says
The boy’s section.
Signed
The mama of a girl who insists on pockets in every outfit.
EB0220 says
We have gotten some good lightweight shorts/capris with pockets at REI.
AIMS says
I buy boys pants for this reason. Gap has cute colorful ones.
Anonymous says
At Old Navy all the toddler girl shorts (save the bicycle shorts) and all of the toddler girl pants (save the leggings) have pockets. I especially like their linen shorts and utility pants.
rosie says
Princess Awesome & Old Navy (even found some in the girls section at ON w/pockets). Although my daughter is now asking for bigger pockets…story of my life, kid.
Pogo says
Primary has a “play short” with pockets.
AnotherAnon says
This might be a better question for the main s!te but have any of you decided not to have your own kids? We’ve been TTC for six years; I’m currently working with an RE to manage my endo/PCOS, but…I think I don’t want to get pregnant anymore. I’m 33 (and I’m in therapy fwiw). We adopted, which is probably coloring my decision (DS is 2.5). DH has always said he’s fine with whatever I decide, which is both nice and sort of makes me feel like “this is your problem to figure out.” I’d be interested to hear your perspective.
Anonymous says
Then don’t! You have a child! You don’t need to keep torturing yourself to try and get pregnant
Ms B says
Yep. After years of trying, including failed IUIs, IVF ending in a miscarriage, and IVF with no successful thawing, I was finished and The Hubs was totally on board. We adopted The Kid and if we decide we want another child in our family (unlikely at this point but not totally off the table) then we will do an older child adoption.
I found it freeing to reach that point (and in retrospect actually wish we had skipped the IVF because we would have saved years and so. much. money.), but YMMV.
Jeffiner says
Wow, I’ve thought about writing a post like this. I do have one biological child, but trying for number two resulted in nothing but miscarriages and unexplained infertility. I think I’m done trying. We stopped going to our RE in January. But being “done” isn’t really a cut and dry thing. After tracking my cycle for so long, I know when the O dates are. Sometimes we garden, sometimes we don’t. Every month I hope to get pregnant (even when we don’t garden – hope is not logical). I’m still sad each month, but each month its a little easier to handle. It was really hard at first, it just takes time to accept it. Right now I’m “done”, and I’m working towards being DONE.
OP says
So much this. Thanks for responding. I’ve sort of shifted from feeling sad when I get my period to feeling slightly relieved. I’m sure a lot of it is my age/parenting a toddler, but we plan to adopt again so I think I’m also making my way from done to DONE.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Last week I had asked folks to weigh in on if I should go solo with DS (1.5 years old) on a trip that was supposed to be me, DH, and DS visiting friends in FL now that DH couldn’t go due to a work deadline popping up. Appreciated allllll the feedback, and I took the minority approach and….actually have opted not to go.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was really dreading it due to the logistics, and knowing that I’d also have to most likely help our friends with a few things here and there (since they are from a different country) in addition to managing me and DS also was increasing the mental load for me.
Plus, our friends were travelling to FL from their home country for Disney and shopping, us joining them for a non-Disney weekend was a bonus for all parties if it worked out. They completely understood and we’re paying 100% for the AirBnB that was rented for the weekend (which was our plan all along). Served as a good reminder to me that we don’t “have” to do all the things and take on the emotional labor and planning because we feel obligated. Happy Tuesday!
Anonymous says
Glad you came to the decision that worked for you!
Justneedtotellsomeone says
I had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. It was very early on, etc. We did IVF for our son who is 2. Now every stomach pain or ache that I have I think it’s another miscarriage. Have only told a couple of people about the miscarriage so thinking that posting it here may bring some emotional healing. Thanks for listening.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry. It is such a hard thing and so new for you. Sending love.
Ms B says
Been there. Internet hugs.
ElisaR says
I’m sorry.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry. Be gentle with yourself. I know how devastating it is, and the fact that it was early doesn’t take away the pain.
GCA says
I’m so sorry. Hugs from a total stranger on the internet.
rosie says
I am so sorry. Hugs.
If you would like resources, I found reading some of the articles on the website verily dot com helpful (you can just search for miscarriage and it will bring stuff up).
AwayEmily says
We talked about bike shorts awhile ago but I don’t think this specific question: is there a place to get long-ish ones? Like that come to just above the knee? We have some cat & jack ones but my daughter would like them to be just an inch or so longer (she’s a 3T, if that’s helpful).
Anonymous says
LOs Oshkosh ones are longer than cat and jack, old navy and carters.
Anonymous says
Honesty I’d ignore this request. Like what? You’re three. Mommy has a full time job and it isn’t sourcing shorts that are one inch longer.
AwayEmily says
Ha, very fair point. She didn’t specifically ask me to find them — she just complained a couple of times that her shorts were riding up and so I figured a couple of extra inches would fix it, and she needs new ones anyway for this summer.
DLC says
This might not be the aesthetic you’re looking for, but when my daughter wears holes in the knees in her leggings, I cut them off to make long shorts. I get at least another season out of them that way.
AwayEmily says
I am very okay with this aesthetic, and this is a brilliant idea.
Anonymous says
this is genius!!!! off to find the scissors…
anon says
check the macy’s brand
Anonymous says
Maybe try 4T of the same ones. They’ll be longer, but I’ve found that bike shorts/leggings are more forgiving if you go up a size, because they’re meant to be tight. My kiddo is tallish and skinny. At 3.5, she could probably still wear some 2T bike shorts from a waist perspective but they’re WAY too short. We get her 4Ts so they’re long enough. They’re a little loose, but still fitted.
Anonymous says
I would try the XS girls size, which I find is very close to 4T waist.
Buddy Holly says
I just ordered summer clothes online and I think Target had some longer Cat & Jack bike shorts online that would almost hit the knee, though I don’t think I’ve seen that style in stores.
anon says
I bought some online in 2 packs.
AwayEmily says
Ah ha! Apparently Target has “tumble shorts” with a two-inch inseam (which is what we’ve gotten before, I think) and “bike shorts” with a four-inch inseam. I will order some of the bike shorts, in a size up as per the previous recommendation. Thanks everyone!
EB0220 says
Yes I was trying to figure this out because my girls are pretty tall and the bike shorts go almost to the knee. I agree with bike short (4″ inseam) + size up.
Anon says
Was googling a babysitter we’ve used in the past (last summer and summer before) in a popular vacation destination and saw that she was arrested for domestic violence and assault 9 years ago (age 26). She actually runs a babysitting company in this small town – which seems odd? We’ve used her multiple times in the past and she seems like a very nice woman but now I don’t think i can use her again – overreaction? Should I allow her to explain? Need a gut check here!
Anon says
If you’re sure it’s the same person and not just someone else with her name, I would not use her again and I wouldn’t discuss it with her – you don’t want to do anything to upset her and make her target your family. I would just politely tell her you don’t need her services this summer.
ElisaR says
eek. I don’t know that’s kind of a non-starter? (agree with make sure it’s not just a same-name situation)
OP says
Unique name and age lines up too, fortunately or unfortunately! Thanks all for the gut check.
Buddy Holly says
Wow, this is tough. I’ve heard stories of the police arresting a woman for DV after she calls for help against her partner. Apparently they just arrest both parties sometimes, or also arrest her if she tried to defend herself. It sounds crazy and I’m sure it varies by jurisdiction, but it would be a possible explanation. I don’t think you can ask her. Do you know anyone else in the small town that would be discreet if you asked them. If it is a small town, a lot of the people are going to know the story. If you can’t trust your gut instinct on her and you know this info and can’t find out more, it probably isn’t worth the risk, even though it sucks that she might have just been in a bad situation that wasn’t her fault.
OP says
This is kind of where I’m coming down. It’s unfortunate because I can totally see it being a bad situation – I know she was arrested but don’t know how it shook out in the end – but I just don’t think I want to investigate further. Ugh. I don’t know that the newspaper blotter article where I found this was on the internet previously, in which case I might even feel bad for her (depending on what happened!) but also um dv and assault are things I can’t really overlook! I’d already asked her about dates for this year but I’m going to back out – thanks all!
Anonymous says
As said above, some states (Arizona comes to mind) routinely arrest both parties on a DV complaint no matter who calls the cops.
Pogo says
Ugh, yeah. I know someone who prosecuted DV cases and stuff like this happened way more than youd like to think. But I still probably wouldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt, because it is your children’s safety.
Anonymous says
I would not risk it. Does not seem worth it at all.
Anon says
Yeah, I wouldn’t use her. Small possibility it might be unfair, but if we’re talking watching my kids that’s just something I’m not willing to risk. Maybe for any other type of job or service I would give benefit of the doubt.
anon says
Does your state have a background check system for in-home childcare providers? California has one that picks up some flags that aren’t otherwise public (like accusations of child abuse that somewhat substantiated). It might worth seeing if she passes the one for your state. Or see if you can get a background check that otherwise provides more context.
It would really feel rotten to get abused and then not get work because of calling the police for help almost a decade ago (if police in that jurisdiction have a practice of arresting both parties and sorting out later).
That said, I’d not hire a babysitter who I believed was ever violent to another person without super extenuating circumstances.
Redux says
My 5-year old is a mosquito magnet. We spritz her with bug spray (the natural stuff alternated with the DEET stuff) and she still ends up with horrible welts– they are raised, red, and hot to the touch. I gave her benadryl last weekend on the theory that she must have some sort of allergy to the bites. What can I do to keep these bites at bay? It’s really hot where we live, so my suggestion to wear long sleeve tees and leggings is a hard sell. Is there a better bug spray to use? Or good hot weather protective clothing, maybe from REI or somewhere like it? She’s mostly just in the yard and on the playground and seems to be the only kid who attracts so many bites despite all having the same routine. We use a mild shampoo and no lotion, and scent-free laundry detergent. Suggestions?
Anon says
My grandma fed us garlic biscuits for breakfast every day because she believed garlic keeps away the mosquitoes. I don’t know if it’s true but I don’t remember getting bit too badly in the summer despite the hot wet climate. But the cookies were really strong.
ElisaR says
interesting! (secretly i’m loving an excuse to eat garlic biscuits…..)
Anonymous says
Use a higher concentration of DEET repellent 100% of the time. Try OFF deep woods. Yeh it’s not ideal but there’s no evidence that it’s actually harmful to humans. Mostly spray her clothes and not her skin if it makes you feel better. Benedryl has a bug cream that works well on my bites. I’m also a mosquito magnet. I find that Cutter Skinsations works well for me most of the time. There’s also clothing that contains bug repellent, but it’s strong and can give people headaches
Chi Squared says
Switch to DEET spray entirely, since the natural stuff probably doesn’t work? Also, applying hydrocortisone cream to the welts will alleviate itching and reduce inflammation. I had a huge bug bite on my calf last summer that had a red ring around it – turns out my bug bite developed a fungal infection (ring worm?). A little clotrimazole cream cleared it right up.
anon says
I second the recos to go with stronger DEET. For your backyard, I’d consider regular fogging by a service, or installing a mist system.
Anonymous says
Mosquitos are attracted to the scent of feet and ankles, maybe getting her some taller shoes (like little hiking boots) and spraying those with bug spray would help. I think DEET is more effective in the short term but longer term (after a couple hours, if you don’t reapply) lemon eucalyptus is actually more effective. I can’t remember where I read this, but it was a reputable source that compared lots of different repellent options.
Anonymous says
Yes, I saw this on NPR. The most effective after 4 hrs was 98% DEET or Cutter lemon eucalyptus.
Buddy Holly says
You could try Picaridin instead of DEET or alternated with DEET to see if that works better. In some areas it seems to work better than DEET. Drop the natural stuff, it doesn’t work unless it is Lemon Eucalyptus, and the premade formulas of that are probably just as toxic as the DEET and Picaridin. Make sure you are getting the areas she gets bitten covered in the bug spray. For places like her face, you may need to use wipes or spray your hand and then use your hand to get around her face and ears.
I agree with the suggestion to try having her eat more garlic, it could help.
You could also try the “Bug Bite Thing,” which is basically a tiny vacuum to suck out the venom from the bite. I used it on myself last weekend and it seemed to help because the bump was smaller and much less itchy than normal, but I think you have to get to the bite right away and that may not always be possible.
Knope says
I second trying Picaridin – that’s what we use because my husband is allergic to DEET, and it works great.
Anonymous says
Agree with all the above on repellents. I also react pretty badly to mosquitoes, and even worse to gnats. You’re right that it is an allergic reaction. I take OTC allergy medicine every day for other allergies and, happily, it really helps so much with this, too. The gnats are just awful where I live, and my bites are way different. If I do get bites, I try to cover them in the Benadryl cream right away. For itching, I really recommend the Gold Bond medicated itch cream. But I’d talk to your pediatrician about a regular allergy medicine. Once she already has the bites, it won’t do much. It needs to prevent the reaction from happening.
Redux says
This is all really helpful, thanks everyone.
Anon says
We own a house in a literal swamp. When we bought it, the locals were like, “Um, wow, yeah, that’s Mosquito Point out there. Good luck with that.”
Hang these up in the yard. It’s some sort of sugar water that attracts mosquitoes, they eat it, and then their stomach explodes, killing them and not giving them time to reproduce. They’re at our local Ace Hardware for $30 for 2 (1 box), but they seem to be double that online. Worth it anyways. https://spartanmosquito.com/mosquito-control/
The guy who cuts our lawn and cut the lawn for the previous owners for years came to us and asked us what we had done because he wasn’t being bitten at all and it was normally insane there in the summertime. I am the adult version of your daughter – I get covered in bites that swell up and itch like crazy. With these things + Avon Skin So Soft (I use it as my moisturizer getting out of the shower instead of lotion), I’ll maybe get one bite a day instead of the dozens I’d otherwise get.
These things. For real.
Anon says
Update on my morning readiness woes with the 3.5 yo. Yesterday, she messed around so long she missed breakfast at daycare entirely (I gave her a granola bar). Today, as I was getting ready to implement ALL the suggestions from yesterday she got out of bed and (without a good morning) said: “I will hurry up today because I want breakfast at school”. And she did! Do real consequences actually work?! How long will this honeymoon last?
Em says
My 3 1/2 year old is very adverse to eating breakfast at school. I have no idea why but suspect it’s because we got in the habit of sharing pancakes when he was going to an in-home daycare. All I have to do is threaten him that we won’t have time to eat pancakes and he will have to eat at school and he does whatever I want 95% of the time. It has worked for 4 months now so fingers crossed it keeps working.
IHeartBacon says
This is so adorable….and wonderful for you! Kids are hysterical.
Anon says
Consider asking your OB for a genetic disorder screening like Counsyl to see if you or your husband are carriers of any recessive disorders. My husband and I didn’t do this test until we already had conceived, since we had no family history of any issues, and still had some surprises show up that impacted our family planning going forward. It’s rare for you to both match for the exact same disorder, but it still happens and I wish we had known what we would be facing before I got pregnant vs. after.
Anon says
Is this different from the cystic fibrosis and I think one other test that they do routinely?
AnonLaywer says
Yeah, it tests for like 175 things.
Anon says
I’m not the Anon at 12:49 but my OB does not test for cystic fibrosis routinely. The only test that’s offered as a matter of course (and I believe even then, only for women 35+) is NIPT testing, like Harmony, which tests the baby’s DNA for Down’s and a couple of other genetic conditions. They don’t do genetic testing on the parents unless you specifically request it or you have a risk factor.
Anon says
You guys. This is my toddler’s sixth week in daycare. She has only attended for two weeks on a part-time basis (1/2 days in the beginning to adjust, a long-planned family vacation, and two full weeks out for illness already). Now she is sick AGAIN and will probably be out for the rest of this week. I feel like I’m paying for nothing – we’ve paid almost $3k for less than 40 total hours of childcare. I expected the winter to be bad, but I didn’t expect so many illnesses immediately, given that we started her in late spring. Is this normal? How I am going to survive the winter? How am I going to keep my job when I’m out 50% of the time? (DH is a teacher and is doing basically 100% of the sick days in the summer but I will have to do almost 100% once the academic year starts…)
Anonymous says
She will probably be sick at least once every month or two for the first year. Many of those illnesses may involve a day or two at home. You have the summer covered with your DH. Use that time to research back up care options so you have some one to call. Even if they can only come for a half day, then that means you only have to take a half day off work.
Separately, have you thought about switching to a nanny? With daycare you’re paying for 12 months of childcare when you only need 10. You may find a SAHM with school aged kids who is happy to nanny during the school year and have summers off.
Anon says
We recently switched from a nanny -we had a hard time finding a nanny we were really happy with (and we LOVE our daycare teachers so far, so I don’t think it’s a case of us having impossible standards), and we really feel that she’s old enough to need socialization with other kids. So, no, not interested in switching back to a nanny. To clarify, DH works part-time from home in the summer so we do generally need childcare 12 months/year, but he has lots of flexibility to stay home then, especially with a sick child who spends most of the day napping and doesn’t need a lot of attention.
I guess I’m just feeling really frustrated that our experience so far is just so far off what you said (“She will probably be sick at least once every month or two for the first year. Many of those illnesses may involve a day or two at home. “) and what I’ve heard from other people. She’s had three illnesses in just over a month, all of which involved a full week at home.
ElisaR says
i’m sorry this sounds incredibly frustrating. My experience is not that my kids were sick once a month. Hopefully this is just “bad luck” at the start. I would expect things would be better by the fall. I’m embarassed to say this but I got to the point where my kids stay home if they are required to and if they are kind of on the cusp — well it all depends on my flexibility. There are days when I wish I could keep them home to get better sleep but they have to go to school (they are fever free and whatnot but just not totally healthy).
Anon says
This is a bad stretch, and it will get better (really! likely before winter!).
But it really sucks while you’re in it.
Anonymous says
that sounds super frustrating. Are you keeping her home because she’s sick or because she doesn’t meet daycare criteria to attend? On days my kids were sick but within the daycare attendance policy, I generally sent them and just tried to drop off late/pick up early so they could rest more at home.
Anon says
Thanks for the encouragement everyone, I appreciate it. I just needed some reassurance that this is abnormally bad and it will get better :) We’ve been sending her whenever she meets the criteria to attend. She seems fairly fever-prone and is often running a low grade fever without many other symptoms and they require she be fever-free for 24 hours before she can come back, so that’s been the cause of almost all the absences. The timing has been really unfortunate too…basically every illness has arrived on Monday, so even if she’s fever free by Thursday afternoon she’s not technically eligible to return to daycare on Friday, so she ends up missing the whole week.
Anonymous says
Are they defining a fever properly? 100.4 and below should be normal. (Or 100.4 and above is a fever…I don’t remember exactly where 100.4 is, but it is the line for kids.) She shouldn’t need to be getting back down to 98.6.
We are probably too lenient on this. But if our kiddo had something minor that was going around, then I’d send her back on the Friday in your scenario above. We follow the rules for more problematic illnesses…RSV, influenza, etc. But for a cold where she happened to be up around 101.0? Not as much.
Anonymous says
FWIW we rarely waited for 24 hrs fever free. Our standard was more, is he fever free at the time of drop-off? And yes to the 100.4 standard. I figured most of what my son had he got at daycare anyway, and as long as he wasn’t miserable, he might as well be there.
Anonymouse says
Hugs. Mine missed 50% of his first month at a new daycare. It’s just really, really hard. I tried to keep up on work naptimes/evenings, but it definitely impacted. I think like so many things with littles, the only way out is through. Sadly, it was another factor in not taking a family vacation this summer – we need to save our PTO for sick days and the daycare closed days.
Anonymous says
It gets better! In my experience sometimes spring/fall are often worse than deep winter. It isn’t linear – the illnesses tend to come in waves. My son had strep 3 times in 8 weeks in PreK, then didn’t miss a day of kindergarten. FWIW, my husband is also a high school teacher, and you might look into whether yours can do more academic year sick days than he thinks (or wants to). Teachers in our area really hoard their sick days because they can roll them over and get paid for them when they retire, but they can call in sick. My husband has gotten much more willing to do it over the years. Obviously you know your situation best.
ElisaR says
3x in 8 weeks oh man….. that’s awful i’m sorry.
Anonymous says
Honestly, I disagree with the above posters. This doesn’t seem normal to me. Have you been taking her to the pediatrician? Maybe this is a rough stretch, but if it keeps up over the next 3-4 weeks, something isn’t right. I’d talk to your pediatrician and ask around with the other parents at your daycare. And maybe look at switching. This is a lot if your child is otherwise healthy.