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I like this pretty maternity tunic from H&M Maternity. The muted yellow color is pretty, and I love the floral pattern. In other circumstances, the ruffles on the ends of the sleeves might be too much in combination with the other elements of this top, but I like it here. In the photos it is styled with the neck ties hanging loose, but I like how it looks with them tied (in the photo without the model in it). This top is $29.99 and is available in sizes XS–XL. MAMA Airy Tunic A plus-size option is at Destination Maternity. Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Can anyone recommend a maxi dress that allows for a large chest? No strapless or spaghetti straps please—must be able to wear a normal bra underneath.
After 4.5 years or being pregnant or nursing or both, this momma is DONE! And looking to improve my wardrobe a bit.
Irish Midori says
Check out Amazon. I have one that’s a short sleeve crew top with gathered waist and love it, but bought it from a friend’s boutique. I’ve seen very similar ones on Amazon though.
CPA Lady says
I’ve had good luck with Soma jersey maxi dresses. DD here.
HSAL says
I had good luck in prior years with Lands’ End, Target, and Loft (36J), but haven’t gotten anything yet this year so I’ll be coming back to see other recommendations.
Anonymous says
OP here: thanks, ladies!
I’m a 34 gg so finding dresses that fit up top is tricky. And RIP pre-baby body, so my pre-pregnancy dresses aren’t the most flattering anymore—and they’re also more than a little dated!
anon says
I’m a similar size on top (12 is dresses) and Cuyana has one that I’m loving this summer. I wear the XL. Only downside is that the armholes are rather large, so they show my bra a bit. I have the dress in black and just wear with a black bra.
farrleybear says
I’ve had luck with Boden maxi dresses in the past–straps generally wide enough to allow for wearing real bra underneath.
EB says
I just bought a maxi at Target maternity that I am pretty sure I can wear after baby that fits what you’re looking for. The straps were very thick – I wouldn’t even call them straps – but it was sleeveless. Good coverage.
London neighborhood? says
Best neighborhood to stay in in London with young kids? Will be there for around four days – most interested in convenience and somewhere that will be fun for them. Also any suggestions for things to do with a 5 and 3 year old welcome! Or specific accommodations you’ve liked! Was thinking we’d go for an apartment for logistics but they also think hotels are super fun so open to that as well.
Anonymous says
I’d look near the natural history museum. It’s a slightly quieter neighborhood still very convenient and super easy to duck into Hyde Park to play.
RR says
We stayed in Chelsea at an Airbnb relatively close to an Underground stop, and it was super convenient. That said, we didn’t do much in Chelsea itself beyond walking to/from the station. Honestly, I’d look for proximity to the Underground more than neighborhood to maximize convenience.
LaLaLondon says
Are there particular things you want to see when you’re here? Most of London can be pretty child friendly in my experience as long as you’re prepared/do a bit of research, and we’ve got parks and outdoor playgrounds all over the city! Check out Hoop while you’re here if you want to see kid friendly activities by age/date (classes/shows/etc.) Particular favs with that age among my friends have included: Museum of London Docklands, the outdoor playground in Barnsbury (near Angel) and Little Zapper sessions at ZAPspace. You could also message the guys at London Walks about a private walk which would move a bit slower but still give you guys some history of the neighborhood you’re staying in!
Anon says
What are your best weaning tips for toddlers? DD is 16 months and nursing infrequently. We are down to once a day nursing on weekdays (I alternate sides, so each breast is nursed every other day) and occasionally skip a day with no engorgement. On the other hand when she’s home all day with me on weekends she sometimes asks to nurse several times and I oblige (I guess I’m informally doing “don’t offer, don’t refuse”?). I feel no urgency to wean, but also don’t want to nurse forever and friends have told me it will be easier now than when she’s closer to 2. I also have a 4 day/3 night business trip in the fall and don’t really want to pump, although perhaps I can just get away with not nursing while I’m gone and resuming when I come back, given that I sometimes already go three days without nursing one side.
Anon says
I started trying to wean around 12 months – I succeeded around 17 months. On weekends, I kept to our week-day schedule, even if it meant refusing and distracting. Once we were down to once a day, I started doing something different at the times we typically nursed. The first transition was to switch from nursing at night to nursing in the morning (thinking that stopping nursing to sleep might help with sleep – it didn’t). Anyhow. So, instead of nursing to sleep at night, we did the bedtime routine in another room and then I would sit on the floor beside her bed until she fell asleep. Once we were morning only, instead of taking her back to my bed in the morning where we would typically snuggle and nurse, I would get up and take her downstairs for breakfast. Breaking the location association worked – she would typically only ask every other day, then every three days, then eventually she stopped and we were weaned. If you’re still doing once a day for your trip in the fall, I would bring a hand pump for your own comfort – you don’t want to be engorged and leaking all over a plane.
Anonymous says
I nursed my first until 28 months (cut down to before bed only around 18 mos. — had to cut down to get pregnant and the stayed the course throughout pregnancy). And nursed my second until 20 mos.
My first self-weaned when my milk came in for my new baby—she thought it was SO WEIRD and just started laughing instead of nursing and then just kind of stopped.
My second, I was just SO OVER nursing. So when he would get ready to nurse before bed I would distract with a book. Distract with water. Distract with snuggles. And eventually he just kind of stopped. Eventually it became more distractions than nursing sessions. And that was that.
If you want to, I would use the trip as an excuse to wean. Bring a manual pump in case you need it. But I would otherwise just hand express if you really need to relieve some pressure. And then see what happens when you come home. After nursing this long, you should be able to resume if you want to when you get back (meaning you shouldn’t totally dry up that quickly). Otherwise you can call it quits if your baby will cooperate.
Also: Congrats on making it this far!
Anonymous says
Ooh also I would wear breast pads just in case. Or at least keep them handy. I’m assuming you don’t leak anymore, but you might a little as you wean!
AwayEmily says
I weaned my first at 13mo, and my second last month when he was 16mo. I did basically what you did. I cut out the daytime feeding, then the morning, and finally the evening one. For both, we introduced some new bedtime routine elements before dropping the nursing. With my first I had to hand-express a bit in the shower for a week afterwards but with my second I didn’t even have to do that. Oh, and my husband put them to bed for about two week after weaning, just to make it easier on the baby AND me.
I think it was easier with my second partly because starting at around 6 months we only ever nursed in his nursery, because he got too distracted otherwise. So, once I just stopped taking him in there, he never thought to ask.
Keen Peach says
Bandaids! I was getting tired of nursing my eighteen month old, and I had read somewhere that putting bandaids on your nipples would convey the idea that the milk bar was closed. She immediately got the concept that “Mama has booboos,” and after a few weeks she stopped asking. You may need to wear bandaids for a few weeks if you have a skeptical child like mine, however.
So Anon says
Ex flaked twice over the five day spring-break and “forgot”/”over-slept” to pick up the kids and take them to camp. As a result, I have said that he can pick-up the kids and take them to their camps only on the days I work from home. That way if he flakes again, I am not trying to drive them to camp and haul it to work 45 minutes away. He acted shocked at this and very hurt. (Insert eye roll here.) I know that I set-up a reasonable boundary to protect myself, my work and the kids.
Here’s the thing: even with it only being two days per week (in addition to seeing him every other weekend), I loathe seeing him. Our divorce was only finalized last month and this is all still so raw for me. When he picks up the kids, he tends to “drop” things on me. For example, this morning, he mentioned that his sister may be here again this weekend. His sister visited a few weeks ago on one of his weekends with the kids. When I opened the door on that Saturday morning, she was literally standing on my doorstep crying. I later texted him that he needs to give me a heads-up if he is going to have anyone else with him when he picks up or drops off the kids. He sent me a long text about how he didn’t know she was staying the weekend, he would do better, etc.
Any tips on getting through this summer seeing him frequently? Is it unacceptable to have my kids (5 and 8) totally ready to go and send them out to the car to meet him without greeting him myself? Any other strategies?
Parenting says
Most of my divorce clients don’t speak at all except for kid issues. Even then, it is often text message or email instead of in person and the kids are expected to go from car to door solo and door to car solo. I really appreciate you sharing your struggles. I am not divorced and I’ll admit, I have become frustrated sometimes with my clients about involving me in stuff that could be really easily solved by reaching out to the ex. Like needing a copy of a W2. Why pay me to ask his attorney so he has to pay his attorney to exchange a document. I get if you asked and he never did it. But many of the clients are just like “I can’t email/text him, nope, I’ll pay you.” Hearing your perspective is making me a lot more sympathetic.
So, before the days everyone had smart phones, my state had parents use a parenting journal for the kids. I still think they are a good idea. It’s just a notebook where the parent exercising parenting time keeps notes like Joey ate all his dinner last night, Margot pooped 3 times. Whatever info is the info the other parent would want to know but doesn’t seem important enough to deal with the emotional turmoil of a conversation at the exchange.
This works with kids too young to go from car to house solo. That way you and other parent don’t have to speak. You just grab the journal and the kids.
Also, our court specifies that they “own” the journal and can ask to see it anytime if any parent alleges they other wrote something harassing or hurtful in there. It’s supposed to be about the kids only.
anon says
By 5, my divorced parents were putting me on a plane by myself to see the other one. Other than having to go to a not great situation with my noncustodial parent, it was fine. It’s fine to have them walk to the car by themselves, unless you’re concerned that ex won’t be in a state to safely drive/parent and need to assess on the spot.
So Anon says
Ugh. Yes I had forgotten that this is why I try and talk to him for a moment. I’m trying to make sure he is stable and not on something.
Anonymous says
Are you legally obligated to permit him parenting time in the form of driving kids to camp? If not, stop this entirely.
Anon says
This.
Anonymous says
What does your custody agreement say? It is completely acceptable to just send them out to meet him. Is that his day or something?
Anonanonanon says
I usually just have my kiddo ready to go, open the door, and say “bye buddy, have a great weekend! love you!” and close the door. When my ex tries to say “do you have a second?” (which is 100% code for “I’m about to drop something unpleasant on you”) I’ve started saying “nope! but feel free to email or text if you have something you need to discuss!” in a friendly voice.
I’m not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but I’ve been divorced 4 or 5 years now, am remarried to someone wonderful, have gotten my dream job since, have a second child with my new husband…. and I still seethe with resentment when I see him for even a second. It stinks to turn your kid over to someone who drops the ball and disappoints them all the time.
So Anon says
It it helpful to hear that this – the seething resentment – is a “normal” part of the process.
GCA says
Talk to me about supporting a spouse with anxiety and/or depression. Husband is struggling with some issues (that will really only be resolved long-term by graduating from his PhD program). He’s seeing a therapist and it’s helping, but until things get better, he’s not all…there. Like, he does pick-up and drop-off and will do things if I ask, but I’m carrying most of the mental load for the whole family while also working full-time. This isn’t typical and started only this year when his anxiety ramped up – he’s usually an equal partner and very engaged parent. (How do women with non-engaged partners not just throw in the towel?!)
Worse, because he’s in a rather technical field, when he says things like “I’m failing at all of this and have irretrievably messed up”, I literally don’t have the technical expertise to tell if this is a real mistake or if he’s ruminating.
So I need some short-term strategies for a) surviving without throwing too much money at the problem, b) supporting him until things get better, c) not feeling like I’m failing at my own job. Help! At least it’s summer or I would have SAD on top of everything else.
Anonymous says
Are you in couples therapy? I think you really really need to be.
Anonymous says
When I was anxious/depressed no amount of spousal support or therapy would have been adequate. When I started taking an SSRI my life dramatically improved. Has your husband considered medication?
Anon says
I was depressed when I was in a really toxic job. I did essentially no housework and it caused my husband and me to fight a lot and be really miserable (caveat, we didn’t have kids and I realize that’s a whole other level). I didn’t need an SSRI, I just needed to leave that job. I don’t think meds are necessarily the answer to situational depression like this.
anon says
a) if he is open to it – can you sit down together on Sundays and make a list for him of things that he needs to get done that week maybe broken down by day? yes, i realize this is micromanaging, but might be a helpful short term solution for someone whose mind is not fully there. are there things you can automate without throwing money at it (if i recall correctly, you have 2 kids, but are living in a one bedroom apartment until spouse graduates?), such as making a meal plan for the week and following the same plan each week – then the grocery list won’t change, etc. is your DH someone who finds distraction helpful? if so – maybe DH is not in a place where he can initiate taking kids to playground, museum, etc. but might find it fun to do so if you suggest. do you have any family or close friends who could take kids for a couple of hours one day on a weekend so you can have some time to yourself?
b) ask him for suggestions on the best way to support him because what works for one person might not work for another.
c) lists, lists, lists and time blocking. and also being kind to yourself. idk what you do for a living, but chances are you are only feeling like you’re failing and not actually failing
Emily S. says
My DH gets this way sometimes, too, and I commiserate. When my DH is going through a distant period (as I think of it) I try to develop a spidey sense so I can anticipate it and when I can catch it, make plans ahead of time: clear my desk 10 minutes early so I can take a last minute “can you get the kids?” call, do some meal prep, accept that housework will slide for the next week. Then I also really protect my alone time when he’s in the funk. I eat my lunch by myself, reading my book (I’m an introvert and need that time to recharge, especially when I know I’m going to be on with the kids essentially alone), make sure I get some exercise everyday, and try to plan activities with kids out of the house (bc its easier to entertain them/they behave better in the park, library, etc.). I also try to get the village to help (in my case, have grandparents pick up the kids and bring them home one day a week.) Finally, the hardest part: finding grace to let him have his feelings and outbursts and waiting patiently for him to come back to himself and apologize and discuss and strategize for how to go forward. This is the part I still struggle with, and my only ways of dealing with it are keeping a journal, venting to by best friend, and therapy myself. What hasn’t really helped us is talking about the work issue: rehashing perceived mistakes drives him further into a spiral and my comments or questions about something I don’t really get just frustrate us both. Good for him for seeking professional help! I hope you can find some helpful suggestions by other readers and that it is smooth sailing after he completes his program!
AwayEmily says
How close to being done is he? I went through basically the same thing when my partner was finishing his PhD and on the job market. He had so much self-doubt and anxiety, and the way he coped was basically by devoting 95% of his mental energy to work and/or feeling sad about work. He wouldn’t plan vacations, never wanted to go out to dinner — and if he wasn’t working, he was feeling guilty about not working, which made spending time together deeply unfun. Luckily this happened before our first kid came along but I can imagine it would have made co-parenting really tough. It mostly resolved when he finished and got a job, but it definitely rears up again when he is under a lot of stress. For us one thing that helped was to make very specific timelines/plans about how long I could carry more of the burden. I was okay with doing it for a few months, but not indefinitely. And I also needed him to regularly recognize and express gratitude for me picking up more of the slack.
GCA says
He’s pretty close – he thinks 6 months. By all accounts, what I’m hearing from everyone around me is that feeling like this is 100% normal for the ABD phase of a PhD, parenting just complicates matters. So I do have a clear end date/ timeline, at least, and that’s why I’m ok with taking the parenting/ household lead for now. I like the suggestion to make specific timelines and plans about how long I can carry the load.
Anon says
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I think this is going to be a long-term issue if he wants to stay in academia. Despite my husband promising at basically every stage of his career that the next stage will be better, that hasn’t really been my experience. If anything, it’s been the opposite. Being a postdoc was more stressful than a grad student and being a TT asst prof is more stressful than being a postdoc (even though nobody has been denied tenure at his school in three decades and his record is so strong they’re contemplating putting him up for tenure two years early). He assures me he will relax when he gets tenure, but again, he’s been saying that since grad school and I know he will just start the push for full professor as soon as he gets tenure.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t suggest just waiting it out. Better to get in therapy and work through these issues with the assumption that they’ll be lifelong and end up happily surprised vs trying to wait it out and ending up caught up in this cycle for years.
GCA says
Oy, tell me about it! Until this year he was set on academia, but has now realized that the costs of this path would outweigh the benefits for him – that the potential to make a meaningful impact is outweighed by the personal misery. He’s still open to it with the right postdoc but is also looking seriously at industry.
Anon for this says
How important is it that he finish his PhD? Does he really want to do it, or is there some other path? I have two close friends who abandoned their PhD (one had enough credits to get her master’s, the other didn’t) and moved on when it was ruining their lives. Both had the catastrophic thinking of “If I don’t finish this, I’m nothing, I’ll never get a job, my life is over” which your DH probably has, too. Life does go on, and you can find another path especially in a technical field.
That same point holds when he talks about having screwed up/failed with experiments, grants, papers, etc. Maybe he did actually screw up, but his depression and anxiety is the one saying that he’s a failure and it’s all over.
As the spouse who had crippling depression/anxiety, do know that your spouse still loves you underneath it and their actions, however selfish, are from their illness. I am so glad my husband stuck by me, it would have been easier for him not to. But it is possible to get better – I say this as someone who hit rock bottom, and had to go inpatient – and to live a full and happy life. Medication and a supportive care team is SO important. If he’s having trouble functioning he needs to have multiple appointments per week with someone who can keep him on track. His medication needs to be monitored constantly and tweaked if necessary. None of this is your job, you’re his wife not his social worker. Agree with the suggestion above to ask him what he needs from you – it might be that he wants you to validate his pain, and that’s OK. It is his therapist’s job to teach him to challenge his thoughts of failure and low self-worth. My husband would spend a lot of time trying to get me to understand why something wasn’t all that bad, or suggest things I could do to ‘fix’ it, and that wasn’t what I needed. Until I learned to challenge the intrusive thoughts that were a result of my mental illness, nothing he said would have helped.
Take care of yourself.
So Anon says
I will echo the last point: Take care of yourself through this. Not to diminish the impact on the person who is suffering from depression or anxiety, but having a spouse with depression/anxiety also takes a large toll on the spouse. If you do not have a therapist, I would suggest finding someone to talk to – a person to whom you can vent and can help you understand what is yours to take on and what must be left to your SO. If at all possible, make sure you are putting on your own oxygen mask: sleep, eat healthily, move in a way that makes you feel good and maintain your own support network. If you can have a family member or sitter watch your kiddo, take some time for yourself and do not feel that you always need to cater to your SO with your time. Keep an eye on yourself for the symptoms of depression because it can be weirdly catching to those who live in its presence on a daily basis. Lastly, I would gently encourage you to learn the difference between depression/anxiety and emotional abuse. I am not saying that your situation is anything like mine, but for years, I excused behavior that was not ok because I thought it was a result of the depression/anxiety. Maybe it was, but even so, it was no reason to be treated in an emotionally abusive way.
GCA says
Thank you both so much for your insights – I really appreciate this. The catastrophic thinking is definitely the (largely situational) depression and anxiety talking, for sure. I’m leaving it up to him and therapist to determine whether/ what/ what dosage of medication he needs, but therapy for myself may be a good idea as well, along with other ways of putting on my own oxygen mask.
Anon says
Maybe he doesn’t need his PhD?
https://splinternews.com/the-revenge-of-the-poverty-stricken-college-professors-1835381061
GCA says
Ha. This is a running joke among my crew of grad student spouse friends, except it’s not a joke.
Anonymous says
For BigLaw associates, how much/how early did to try to ramp down before going on maternity leave? I’m at 34 weeks and feeling more and more exhausted in the evenings, plus I’d like to avoid being in the middle of a bunch of things when I go on leave. I want to strike a balance between being ready to leave and not slacking off too early. Thanks!
Anonymous says
We have a ramp down starting one month before due date at my firm. That seemed to work well for me, but I had no reason to think I would deliver early (and I didn’t). If your mom/female family members have delivered early with first pregnancies, I would consider ramping down earlier.
Anon says
Ladies, advice please. My 3.5 yo is driving me mad with her inability to get ready for daycare in a timely manner. She’ll do everything that is needed, be dressed and then spend 15 minutes packing her backpack with all kinds of unnecessary items. I attempt to explain that we will be late and must go and then she has a breakdown because the packpack won’t close. She likes daycare, she is not tired, she just doesn’t see the point of rushing. What can I do???
Anonanonanon says
Granted everyone’s style is different, but I’ve had success with:
1. Setting a timer
2. Giving warning every minute or so that time is running out
3. Literally picking up child and carrying them to the car if they’re walking out the door on their own when it’s time to go
After a couple of days of literally carrying them out, they knew I meant business.
Anon says
#3 has not occurred to me. I will contemplate it! Thanks!
Anonymous says
Pick her up and carry her out without it. Don’t be held hostage to a three year old. She can bring her back pack with whatever is in it when it’s time to go or not at all.
IHeartBacon says
“She can bring her back pack with whatever is in it when it’s time to go or not at all.”
This. I actually say this to my LO. I’ll say it as: “LO, you can take your backpack with this stuff in it, or you can leave your backpack at home. Those are your options. Do you want to take your backpack?” He ALWAYS says yes.
anon says
Sometimes I am successful in playing a song for my kids to get them to complete a task. “We need to be dressed with our shoes on by the time the song is over!” And hit play on Spotify. When it’s over, they freeze, and I see if they’re done. It’s a way to get them to hurry and also set a finish line. They’re growing immune to it, but it was nice while it lasted.
Anon says
I like this idea. Thanks!
Spirograph says
+1 to a timer and then picking her up and carrying her out. I do this for all manner of stalling offenses. You don’t want to get dressed? Fine, clothes go in the backpack, and you can go to school in PJs. You’re taking forever to eat breakfast? Too bad, breakfast time is over, you can take a banana to school with you.
Also, consider having her pack the backpack before bed the night before. Stalling at bedtime at least won’t make you late for work!
Anonymous says
I’m pretty shameless but bribery works for me. A piece of chocolate once you are buckled in your carseat is a good motivator.
EB0220 says
This is 100% something my kids do. Timers and just carrying them out doesn’t seem to work for us but a few things that have worked on my kids:
1) Express genuine interest in what the kid is doing for < 1 minute
2) Then tell them it's time to go. We usually use the "You can take it with what's in it now or leave it at home" type approach and that usually works.
If they're being unusually uncooperative and/or we REALLY REALLY have to go – bribery (aka starfall in the car).
CPA Lady says
I bribe my kid with screen time to keep things moving in the morning. She gets to watch a little TV as soon as she’s fully ready to go out the door, shoes on, etc. This is a holdover from when DH was traveling all the time for work, but it has worked so well that we’ve kept it going.
I have surprise revelations about things that make me a better parent from time to time (e.g. “you’ll be more patient at daycare pickup if you use the bathroom right before leaving work”)… one big one was that I get way more stressed out when kiddo is going to make us late than I do when I’m going to make us late — it’s way easier to rush myself than it is to rush her. Since having that revelation, I make sure to get her 100% ready to walk out the door before I even start getting ready to go. I have a chart with pictures of the five things she has to do in the morning that lives at her eye level on the fridge. It’s a work in progress, but I think it helps. So this might be something you could do with the backpack, that it has to be packed by x time and hung on the front door ready to go.
Anonymous says
Wow, I just had an epiphany about charts. My daughter looooves her morning & evening routine charts, but we have been keeping it in a plastic sleeve and marking it off with a dry erase marker every day. Obviously that turns into a mess after a while. But if I put the chart on the FRIDGE (or the magnetic easel in her room, even!), we could just move magnets back and forth to mark things off. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?
Thank you!
Anonymous says
You may be too far down the backpack road, but… does she need a backpack? None of my kids has ever taken a backpack to day care (I have my own bag full of blankets or extra clothes or whatever).
Also, my children sleep in their clothes. Game changer. They do not care at all.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Wisehive – Recommendation for Dishwasher basket for bottle pieces (e.g. Munchk*n, B00n, etc.)? Want to gift to a friend/colleague expecting Kiddo #2. We both stupidly hand-washed and used stand-alone sanitizers for our respective first kiddos, and have discussed using this smart shortcut for future kiddos!
Anon says
Bottles, n*pples, rings, can all go loose on the top rack of the dishwasher. You don’t need a special basket for washing them.
Anon says
I find without the basket, the lightweight pieces end up flying all over the dishwasher, sometimes ending up in the bottom or worse on the heating element, so for me I really appreciate having the basket. Bottles are fine loose in my experience.
Anon says
Huh, that was never my experience and we had three different dishwashers during the bottle phase of our lives. Caveat that we didn’t have Dr Brown’s bottles, which I gather are super complicated.
Anonymous says
If she is using Dr Browns bottles I recommend Oxo Tot. That one has been the best for us and all those finnicky parts. We also have the Munchkin one and it’s fine and probably more versatile for other types of bottles.
Anon says
I used the DB’s one for bottles and pieces (although it was designed for the original ones with the blue straw, it fit my pieces well enough for the bottles with the green straw – the options line maybe?). We use the M high capacity one for all other things (spoons, parts that didn’t fit in the DB one, pacifiers, etc. and now sippy cup parts, kiddo silverware and random small toys, as well as measuring spoons, shot glasses, corn cob holders and other random grown-up cooking things). Our M one is still being used 2 years later and has held up well (and we do extra hot wash, sanitizing rinse and extended heat dry). I keep an extra M one at my parents’ for when we visit too.
Anonymous says
I had two small M ones and still found handwashing to work best. So I guess, at minimum, I don’t recommend those. But honestly, there was just so. much. bottle and pump stuff, that it just didn’t work too well in the regular cycle of dishwasher runs in our house.
apples says
I used the OXO tot for advent bottles (and baby spoons, etc). I only wish it had space for the bottle caps, which inevitably flip in the dishwasher.
anon says
Another vote for OXO tot.
Lawyermom says
Dr brown has one which is awesome for nipples. I use the munchkin one for the valves and teethers
Anonymous says
Any recommendations and success stories for parenting books? My four year old daughter is starting to break me. The fighting is becoming more and more frequent. It makes me so sad. I need to get a handle on things…
EB0220 says
I really like and use How to Talk so Kids will Listen and anything Janet Lansbury.
AwayEmily says
+1 to both of these but honestly just browse around and go with whatever resonates with you. Our neighbors are child psychologists (one a professor, one practicing), and they are very much on the side of “most of these approaches work as long as you are loving and VERY VERY consistent.” So, pick one you think you can be consistent with!
Ifiknew says
Late in the day, but my 2 year old daughter turned 2 in May) has been home with family since I went back to work after mat leave. I work 9 to 2 daily and with a new baby born in May, she’ll be starting preschool in August. The school runs their main day from 845 to 1245, which includes lunch. I can pay for her to nap there from 1245 to 245. I can pick her up on my way home at 215 when I expect she’ll be up. The family that’s watching the baby either wants daughter to nap there or to have a sitter at home from 12 to 230 to help with pick up dd, feed lunch, and put her down for nap.
Since she’s never been in a daycare, I’m worried that she won’t nap well and will have terrible seperation anxiety with a longer day (she’s usually struggles with seperation) , although the babysitter sounds rough as well to find and coordinate for daily.. What should I do? Anyone have kids that started daycare or preschool at 2?
Anonymous says
Is there any chance you can ramp her up to staying through nap time? Maybe pick her up after lunch for a few weeks to get her comfortable at the school and then slowly transition to staying for nap time?
Anonymous says
Kids that age nap because everyone else is napping. I don’t think her staying at preschool would be a problem. 2 extra hours won’t matter.
Anon says
My daughter was a bit younger when we started daycare (18 months) but yeah it was a huge adjustment to get her napping there. The first couple weeks we got her right after lunch – she loved daycare and never had any tears at drop-off. Then we started leaving her there through naptime. She refused to nap and would be a cranky mess when we picked her up at 2 pm (which we did so she could get in a long nap at home, and still go to bed at a reasonable hour). She also started fighting drop-off a lot more when she realized she would be staying through her normal nap time. It took almost three months until she was napping consistently at daycare and her naps there are nowhere near as long as they are at home (she naps 3+ hours at home, 1.5 hours max at daycare) so we’ve adjusted our work schedules to get her at 4 pm so she can have a late afternoon nap and still have an 8:30 bedtime. She’s now 22 months and is solidly on one nap on weekends/vacations, but is still two naps on school days.
Anonymous says
My worry would actually be that the school really won’t want you picking her up in the middle of naptime every day, since it can barely disruptive to the other kids.
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
Leave her at preschool. She will be fine.
PineapplePrincess says
Maybe too late in the day – my friend just told me she’s pregnant with #3 – a surprise! She had given me a ton of baby stuff after her #2, for my first. Do I have to…. give it back to her? I’m not unwilling to do that (though would love to keep some of it as I’m not necessarily done either), but I’m not sure exactly what she had given me and what was gifts/other hand-me-downs from my family/other friends. Do I try to collect what I *know* was hers? Do I just give her a nice gift certificate to target or something as a baby present? We’re not that close – she’s a work colleague I only met about 2 years ago, but we bonded over being working moms… WWYD?
Anonymous says
Keep it all unless she asks directly for it back
Anonymous says
If you give away baby items, I believe you do so without any expectation whatsoever that you will ever get those items returned to you.
However, I do think it would be kind to “return” whatever items you are done with (and maybe include hand me downs from other friends as well?). Maybe you could phrase it as “now it’s your turn for the baby hand me downs!” Not that exactly, but something like that. To somehow emphasize you’re not exactly giving her everything back, but that she’s the next recipient of some gently loved baby goodies. Something like that?
anon says
I would just talk to her about. She might know exactly what’s hers and what’s not. Or she might not care at all.
GCA says
I’d give her a giant bag of baby things that includes whatever she gave you (that you can identify, at any rate), unless your child is still using it. It’s just good karma! I think most people give hand-me-downs with the expectation of not getting them back, and would say so explicitly if anything is merely on loan. Eg. a friend gave me a bunch of baby clothes for my 2nd kid, who was off-season from my 1st, but loaned me her dockatot. She told me ‘pass the baby clothes on when you’re done, and if you don’t mind I’d like the dockatot back’.