This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
This blazer is something you don’t see every day — ponte with an inverted collar. I really love how simple, modern, and striking this blazer is, combined with the comfort of ponte material. I also really like the longer length and clean lines, and the inverted collar looks nice with the welt pockets and one-button closure. The black version is available for 50% off, which brings the price down to $54.99, and the gray version is 40% off at $71.98. Both are available in regular sizes 0–20 and petites 00–14, and most sizes are still in stock. Machine Washable Ponte Inverted Collar Blazer This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.14.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Mid-Season Sale: extra 40% off; extra 20% off sale styles; 40% off new spring styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 40% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50-60% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off dresses; 30% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Cyber Spring: 50% off everything & free shipping
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time; 30% off select shoes
- Talbots – BOGO 50% off everything, includes markdowns (ends 4/14)
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Buy 3+ get 30% off forever favorites
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 30% off your purchase
- Old Navy – Up to 70% off clearance; sales on shorts and polos
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event; BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture;
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
right now i have my twins home with a nanny. we have to decide soon whether to start them in preschool when they are 15 months or wait until the following year right after their 2nd birthday. For logistical reasons we would have to keep our nanny and cannot send them to the schools full time – the schools have too many breaks including no school over the summer, DH travels a lot for work, we’d have to buy another car, etc. (please do not suggest we find a different schools, this is what many of the preschools are like in our area. we visited 4 schools and they all told us that there are a lot of people with grandparents nearby or teacher parents so they make it work), so we would send them three mornings a week. it is a stretch financially for us to keep the nanny and send them to preschool. do you think they will be ok if they stay with the nanny and i have her take them to classes, story time at the library, etc. and they then start school when they turn 2? i know that there will be an initial adjustment when they start at 2 and they might initially be behind in certain ways, but over the long run shouldn’t make a difference? what would you do?
Betty says
I would wait to send them to preschool. My impression is that preschool at that age has a great deal to do with socialization, which your kiddos are getting from their sibling. I think nanny plus story hour and whatever enrichment activities are available and in your price range is a great arrangement for that age. Due to logistics at different times, I had one child attend daycare when he was 18 mos-2.5 followed by preschool and the other did not start preschool until she was 2.5, and I see zero impact of this now (they are 5 and 8).
Anonymous says
Gosh, even 2 is SO young for preschool. We started preschool when my kid was a couple months short of 3, and it was tough on HIM. I would definitely wait until 2, and later if you could. This age is for playing outside, reading, and getting loved on.
Anonymous says
Those exact things are what my child gets at his 7:30-5:30 preschool (even more so at age 2)—playing outside, reading, getting loved on. This might have come across as more judgmental than you intended.
Your kids will do great either way!!
Anonymous says
I think preschool can mean two things: Daycare for kids who aren’t infants where the day is a more structured, there are weekly themes (curriculum), etc. Or the 2-3 times a week for 2-3 hours preschool for kids who aren’t in daycare and would otherwise lack socialization. That makes conversations like this one a little difficult over the internet.
ElisaR says
my thoughts exactly
Anonymous says
9:58 here. Sorry, really didn’t mean it as such. We had my first in FT daycare for a year (3-15m), and it was great. I just meant to push back on the idea that a child will fall behind if they’re not in a structured environment so early. Daycare is great. Nanny is great. Play-centered preschools is great. From what I’ve read, what is NOT great is starting a structured learning, academic-like setting too early. That was the impression I got of the schools the OP is looking at, since she mentioned concern that her kids would fall behind (maybe she just meant socially, and I misread).
Cb says
I’d definitely wait until 2. They aren’t going to be behind. As twins, there is built in socialization. Having your nanny do classes, story time, free play spaces is also a good idea – it’s fun for the kids and is a little respite for her as well.
Knope says
TOTALLY fine to keep them with the nanny. I don’t even think you need to be really worried about signing them up for multiple classes and such, though I guess it depends on your area. My 2 year old is in a nanny share with one other child, but they constantly are going to the playground and library and interact with other kids there. At this point “socialization” is about learning how to share and having fun with other kids – structured time with the same kids each day in a classroom setting is just one example of how to achieve that.
Canadian says
This is literally exactly what we did with my first kid and we will do again with my second.
We are in Canada so baby was home with a parent the entire first year, a nanny the second year, and she began daycare the September after she turned 2 (so she was 2.25 when she started). My kid loves “school” so so much and while it took a couple of days to settle in when we started, you would never guess it now. I will say that the summer she turned two, both my husband and I could see she was ready for more stimulation/activities so by September she was definitely ready.
Our daycare doesn’t take kids until 18 months and we didn’t get a toddler room spot the first time around, but I’m thrilled with how everything turned out so will repeat it again… even though this time around we probably will get an 18 month spot if we want it!
Anon in NYC says
Wait until 2. There’s really no rush, and since your nanny takes them to activities they do have opportunities to socialize beyond their sibling.
Anonymous says
I have twins and understand that you may value them socializing with others so they don’t become dependent on each other. Definitely wait until age 2. That’s plenty early. Mine started a combined daycare/preschool at age 2 and they play great with all the other kids and have their own friends.
ifiknew says
Piling on to say wait until 2. I was so torn and we tried enrolling my daughter in two half days at 15 months and it was a disaster. She cried for about 2 hours every day for the first 2.5 weeks and we pulled her out and decided to keep her at home. It was heartbreaking, she’d cry when I turned onto the street. It wasn’t necessary for her to be there at that age and she didn’t understand that mom comes back. SHe’s now 20 months and I am SO glad she’s at home for another year, she just loves to be loved on and is constantly finding things to explore at home. Kids have their whole lives to socialize, if you have good care at home, they are still such babies and I’d keep them at home for sure.
Anon says
Definitely wait til 2. Kids of SAHMs generally don’t start preschool until around age 3 and turn out fine.
Lyssa says
FWIW, my son was home (with dad) and started preschool at 4. He is absolutely killing it in kindergarten. I’m sure that plenty of other kids in his class had more preschooling then he did, but he’s more than keeping up. Your kids will definitely not be harmed by not putting them in preschool at 1.5 (or even 2).
Also, I think that 1.5 is just about the hardest little kid stage – they’re old enough to have the feelings that they want to communicate, but can’t quite understand how or why they aren’t getting what they want. Don’t add more stress at that time, if you can avoid it.
Anon says
This is our plan for LO to go 2-3 days a week at age 3 – DH is a SAHD. I think the 4YO class is either 3 or 4 days a week.
Anonymous says
No one needs to start pre school at 15 months! Silliness. I’d keep them home until they are 3 personally.
Anonymous says
Wait until 2 BUT make sure they are socializing with kids other than themselves. Sounds like that’s part of the plan and if so, that’s totally fine. We started my kids at 15 months because I was too lazy to socialize them ;).
Anon says
My mom is a preschool teacher and her school has two classes, 3 year olds and 4 year olds. They will sometimes take kids that are almost 3 and will take kids that will turn 5 while there but they do not accept 2 year olds. This is a small school that has been in business for 30+ years so their philosophies may be a bit outdated but they don’t think “school” is developmentally appropriate before 3. My mom would say you are smart to keep them out of preschool for now.
Also, I personally think the push towards younger and younger preschool is to make parents feel better about daycare. I intend to use daycare and my teacher mom has no problem with it either. There should be a distinction though between care that is focused on needs (eat/sleep/play) and care that is focused on learning.
Anonymous says
This.
All the countries with the best ranked school systems in the world do not start formal learning like reading and writing until age 7. Even the public kindergarten systems are focused on play based learning especially outdoor time.
Seafinch says
Maybe unusual, but this is also my approach. We keep our kids at home until at least four, preferably closer to five. Where we live, we have full day junior kindergarten the September of the calendar year the child turns four. We kept my son home anyway. I have no regrets. My kids are well adjusted, love going to school when the finally go and are ahead of all their peers socially and academically. Early schooling is not necessary or beneficial according to lots of studies.
Anonymous says
I disagree with your last sentence. Through the end of pre-K, play and learning should be one and the same. A high-quality “day care” will be no different from a high-quality “preschool,” with the exception of the hours.
Anon says
Yes, they will be more than fine! I wouldn’t spend anymore time worrying; 2 is still so young.
GCA says
Echoing others to say just do classes/ library etc activities till 3 (or ‘conventional’ preschool age), then start preschool. I was home with grandparents/ nanny till I turned 3 (I’m not sure they even took me to classes or other activities tbh, this was the 80s and there wasn’t a huge selection of offerings), and turned out totally fine!
anon says
Just piling on to say I also have twins and waiting is just fine! We kept them home with a nanny until they turned 2. She took them to music class, story time, etc. (although I feel like those activities are as much for the caregiver as the kids). At 2, they started a full-day, full-year preschool program (which I know is a unicorn thing). The kids love it, but I miss the convenience of a nanny. Your plan to do three mornings a week at age 2 plus nanny sounds perfect to me.
Anon says
I asked my ped about this, because I have an only child who will be home with a nanny until the age of about 18 months (we couldn’t get a spot at a suitable daycare until then). We don’t even have the nanny drive her to library storytime because we’re not really comfortable with our (nice, but very young) nanny driving our kiddo except in case of emergency. DH and I have looked for weekend playgroups and haven’t found any, and we don’t have any friends with kids in this town, so our 12 month old has basically never interacted with another baby. We do hope to start her in parent-baby swim lessons this summer when she’ll be ~16 months, but the weekend spots sell out instantly, so I don’t know if we’ll be able to get one. Anyway, our ped’s answer was that lack of socialization isn’t even something that would be on her radar until age 2 and it’s completely fine to delay formal preschool/daycare until age 3.
Fwiw, my kid is a slow-ish developer (not anything out of the realm of normal, but she hasn’t really hit any milestones early and has been slower than average on several) and I wonder if it’s because she doesn’t have other kids to try to keep up with. I don’t really care – I know that the age at which she walked or talked has no bearing on her later childhood or adult life, but I do wonder if there’s a connection.
Anonymous says
Agree with everyone else that waiting until 2 is totally fine, but suggest you may not want to wait past 2 for logistical reasons unique to twins.
Our twins are currently in full-time daycare that they’ll age out of by age 3/4, so we can either move them to preschool at 2.5 or 3.5. There are exactly two full-year full-time preschools in our town (well, 9-12 preschool during the school year, the rest of the time is before/aftercare i.e. daycare-equivalent). We love our current daycare and would happily keep the twins there until they’re 3.5, but finding two spots is MUCH easier in a 2-year-old class than in a 3-year-old class, because these preschools either start at age 2 (in which case there’s no one to ‘move up’ into that class) or have one toddler class that feeds into two 2-year-old classes, but in both cases will take in 12 new 2-year-olds. Because the 2- and 3-year-old classes are the same size, 3 -year-old spots only open up as kids leave the facility, which we’ve been told means it will be very difficult to get spaces for both our twins.
anon says
OP here. Appreciate the feedback and we thought of that. So at the 15 months age they have a ration of 8 kids to 2 teachers, but at 2 they have 12 kids to 2 teachers, so they actually have more spaces for 2 year olds because they have the same number of classes.
Thanks everyone for the input! Leaning towards keeping them at home with the nanny for another year. We were also thinking that sending them to preschool would help us meet more people since we are newish in town, but with nanny doing drop off/pick up, our main socializing with parents would be at birthday parties and those would only be a few times a year anyway.
Anon says
Late to this, but I would wait. I have a two and 5 year old in preschool. In my experience, it’s not until 3 or so that we started to get to know other parents in a more than passing way. At least here, that’s when people start doing friend birthday parties. Around 4, the weekend playdates get going, and that made an even bigger difference. The other parents in my two year-old’s class are strangers to me, although I’m sure I’ll get to know them over the next few years!
Stop Finger Sucking says
My 3yr3m old sucks her fingers. At daycare it seems only be at nap time. At home, it’s much more frequent (watching tv, cuddling, holding her lovey, etc). I have been talking with her about having to stop soon, because the dentist said it’s important. We have a another dentist appointment in two weeks, and I know it’s going to come up.
Any tools or suggestions to get her to quit? I have the nasty tasting polish ready, but I worry about taking away one ability to cope without her having another effective coping skill to help.
Also, she knows she needs to stop, and I think there is a desire to please and do what the dentist and I say, but last night she articulated that she is sad because she doesn’t know how to stop.
Anonymous says
I’ve been trying to deal with thumb sucking in my four-year-old (just turned four) for a couple weeks. Here’s what we’ve been doing: So far, we’ve been having conversations about why we need to stop (it’s making his hand dry and uncomfortable, and it’s causing problems for his teeth). He gets it and agrees he should stop. I think it’s important to get the kid on board with the process, which it sounds like you are. We decided that we are going to work on stopping during the day as a first step, and that he will be able to keep sucking his thumb when he goes to bed. We have some teether things that we keep in the freezer for his baby brother, and his older brother thought of giving one of him to chew on when he wants to suck his thumb. Not a magic bullet, but it seems to be helping… I agree that it seems cruel to use the bad tasting polish when they haven’t figured out an alternative coping skill yet. We’ll see where we get in a couple months and reassess then.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t call the nasty-tasting polish cruel if the child actually wants to stop. A lot of thumb-sucking and finger-sucking is habit, not conscious intention, and even the most motivated kid is going to end up with her thumb/finger in her mouth without even realizing it. If you describe the icky taste as a reminder to help the child remember not to put her thumb/finger in her mouth, she might be on board with using it.
Spirograph says
Counterpoint: We finally put the gross nail polish on my thumb-sucker a few months ago and he thinks it’s great, not cruel. I wish we’d done it sooner. Past about age 2, thumb-sucking was definitely a habit. Interestingly, I’ve noticed positive behavior changes. Before, if he was in a new situation, he would suck his thumb and just kind of turn inward and not engage for a while. Without the thumb, he is much quicker to join in, try new things, make new friends, etc. Taking away the finger or thumb sucking is a catalyst for development of other coping skills. I would think it’s very difficult for a kid that age to understand needing to come up with a replacement when the preferred solution is still available.
Anonymous says
Thanks for this perspective. This sounds like my son too…
RR says
My 10 year old son bites his nails, and we just had a conversation last night about possibly using the bad tasting polish if he doesn’t stop. It’s just a reminder to stop a bad habit. Particularly if the kid is on board, I think it’s a tool.
My youngest had to stop her pacifier at 3 because the dentist was really concerned about her teeth. I thought it was going to be a huge battle, but once she was on board, I was surprised by how easy it was. We struggled for a few days, but once her head really got on board, she was done. I also really like the strategy of taking it one step at a time, like telling her that you will start with days but she can still do it at bedtime for now. Then deal with bedtime when she’s good with days.
Some kids just have really strong oral fixations though. My youngest is 5 now, and we are in a stage where she will suck on the sleeves of her shirts–so gross. She’s not the only one. A couple girls in her class have basically teething jewelry to help them stop, but we haven’t done that because I don’t want to substitute another oral crutch.
Good luck!
HSAL says
Wow, I could have written this, down to the age of my daughter and everything. Our dentist hasn’t been concerned so far, but I decided we’d start working on it. We’ve done bandaids so far, which is really helpful as a reminder. We don’t force them if she doesn’t want to wear them (at least not yet), but we explain that they’ll help her remember to stop since it’s so ingrained at this point. It helps that we have Frozen, princess, and superhero bandaids so she likes wearing them. She’s taken an interest in her old little taggie blankets the last couple days so maybe that’ll be her substitute.
OP says
I forgot about bandaids. I think we’ll start there before the polish that tastes bad. Thanks!
Bedtime blues says
My 2.5 year old, while a great kid most of the time, is a jerk about bed time. I think part of the problem is his dad is home every second week (work schedule). So Dad and I alternate who does bedtime each week. We follow the same routine, but not with the exact precision a toddler demands. We head to the bedroom at 7:10 p.m. for bathroom activities, pajamas and story. But honestly, kid is still up usually at 8, sometimes later. And bedtime, particularly on either parents first night back, is a scream fest. It’s so unlike how he behaves throughout the rest of the day that it is frustrating and bewildering. I’m not quite sure what to do and would appreciate advice.
GCA says
The shifting parent routine might be part of the problem, but if it’s been a standard part of his life for a while it’s not likely to be the main culprit. Could he be getting more and more ready to drop his nap? My first became more and more bedtime-resistant starting around this age, and now (3.5y) bedtime is 8.30-9pm on weekdays because he naps at daycare, whereas it’s 7.30 on weekends when he doesn’t nap.
Also, if he’s still up at 8, how does he act – does he insist on having a parent in there with him, or will he go down on his own? Is he acting overtired, or actually still energetic and bouncing off walls? On weekdays we ask kid 1 to be lying down in bed at 8. Sometimes he falls asleep on his own, other times he’s in and out of bed and it takes a while longer (but the lights are off, the house is quiet, he might get up to pee but we generally ignore all other requests and say ‘that’s not my job right now’).
Anonymous says
If your 2.5 year old isn’t a jerk most of the time you are ahead of the game, so I just want to say you are doing something right.
Newmomanon says
I gave birth to our first baby in October and during Open Enrollment we maxed out our dependent care FSA, assuming we’d spend way more than that on daycare this year. We’re now deeply considering having my husband stay home after I go back to work in March. Do we just have to eat that $5k? Any loopholes?
Anonymous says
Summer camp, backup care, preschool (though I assume the timing won’t work for that).
anon says
Wouldn’t your husband quitting be a life change that would let you change your contribution?
Anonymous says
Yeah, I’d look into this. Change in family employment status usually counts as a event.
Anon says
Dependent care FSAs are normally fully funded on January 1 though – and I think it would be impossible to unfund them. You can definitely change an election, but not an election that’s already taken effect.
anon says
At my work and my husband’s work, they are funded from each paycheck. So I would check with HR.
Anonymous says
Same, mine is also funded from each paycheck, so I don’t hit the full $5000 until December.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you have to eat it, I think you just have to pay taxes on it like regular income.
Anon says
No, dependent care FSA money is strictly use it or lose it. It’s not just that you have to pay taxes or penalties to get it. It’s completely gone if you can’t use it on childcare.
Anonymous says
My FSA funds are forfeited if not used. Ask me how I know.
I would look into whether it’s possible to change the election due to the change in circumstances. There may als be a grace period January 1 – March 15 of 2020 when you can claim reimbursement from 2019 funds for expenses incurred in 2020 during the grace period. I would also look up the rules about what the parents are supposed to be doing while the child is in child care–I believe you can’t be reimbursed from an FSA unless both parents are working, looking for work, attending school, etc.
anony says
Someone mentioned you could ‘pay’ family members and count that – would require your family member to be willing to deal with any tax logistics on their end I’m guessing. If you documented regular babysitters, I’d imagine that would count as well.
Annie says
I think the FSA might also be able to cover enrichment classes your husband does with the kid like baby music or baby yoga (you should check on this). It wouldn’t get you nearly 5K but if you’re stuck could be something.
Anonymous says
I would check the FSA documentation. I don’t think this is correct.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I think it’s pretty explicitly only to pay for child care (for a child under 12, maybe?) while you’re in school, working, or looking for work. I don’t think even private school counts.
Anon says
Dependent care FSAs must be used *so you can work or attend school*. If your husband stays home and is not looking for work, you can’t use it to reimburse occasional baby-sitters or kids’ activities.
That said, he can almost certainly cancel his election. Leaving his job should be a qualifying event.
Anon says
The comments above about 15-18 months being a rough age to start daycare have me worried…my baby has been home with a parent or nanny since birth, and we plan to have her start daycare sometime in that 16-18 month window, depending on when a spot opens. Our preferred daycares are all run by the same organization and when you accept a spot at one, you are removed from the waitlist at all of them. So if we start and it goes horribly and we decide to pull her out, we’d have to start all over with the daycare waitlist process, which would probably take a year or more (even though she’s not an infant). Do you think we should get another nanny (current nanny is leaving for reasons unrelated to the daycare switch) so we can delay the daycare start until age 2? Or do you think we should just go for it? Would sending her part-time at first make for a smoother transition? DH has summers off (she turns 18 months in late July) and so it would be very easy to send her for half days or only a couple days a week until she is ~19 months.
Anonymous says
Our daycare takes ages 6 weeks to 4 years and the director strongly prefers kids who start at 18 months or younger, because she finds kids who are older than that to have a much rougher transition, so starting later might not necessarily be better.
SC says
My son was home with me for my maternity leave (12 weeks), then with a nanny for a little over a year, and then started daycare/preschool at 16 months. We loved our nanny, and consider her part of the family, but she was moving on to grad school, and our preferred daycare had a spot available. Kiddo was absolutely fine starting daycare at 16 months. On the first day, DH and I dropped him off, and he crawled off across the playground towards a riding toy and never looked back. He wasn’t clingy at drop-off at all that year, and he never wanted to go home. (We went through a clingy at drop-off phase later, in his 2 year old classroom.) His development sped up by leaps and bounds–although I’m sure he’d be walking and talking just fine now either way. His teachers were caring and supportive. We added to our “village” by meeting other parents through play dates, etc.
I agree with the comments to the OP above that it’s fine to wait until 2, or even 3 to start preschool. But if you think daycare will work better for your family, your kid will be fine in daycare at 16 months. Most kids are just fine in a variety of childcare situations at this age, and absent something specific to a particular kid, I would do what’s best for the family, balancing schedules, logistics, finances, future availability of spots, etc.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think the question above was more about “school-based” (for lack of a better term) preschool than daycare. We’ve talked about the daycare vs. preschool terminology here a lot, and I think there’s some confusion related to that. My older son goes to preschool now, technically, but it’s more like an older-aged group at his daycare. He’s still playing and interacting with other kids, and he’s always been learning something, so I’m not sure whether that qualifies as “school-school.”
In any case, starting daycare at that age seems fine to me – from what I’ve seen, the older infants do have a harder time adjusting at the beginning than younger infants, but they all eventually do. If you want to keep a nanny, that sounds fine too.
Anonymous says
I would try to start in September when your DH goes back to work. Acceptance that it’s normal to have a few tears at drop off for 2-3 weeks. Each kid adjusts differently. One of my twins barely turned to say goodbye and the other took almost 4 weeks to settle in.
Full time attendance will generally make for a better transition as they are more quickly feel included in the social environment of the class. At that age, they don’t really have a concept of days, so part time can be confusing for them if it’s just T/TH or M/W/F.
anon says
I think you should go for it, but I would try to send her part time for a week or two. My niece just started at a daycare (child care center) after being with a nanny for 16 months, and one of the parents stayed with her for a couple of mornings, and then started dropping her off and increasing the hours.
Anonymous says
We started my oldest at daycare at 11 weeks, and she transitioned to a new daycare at 18 months.
We started our second at daycare at 15 months.
We are starting our 3rd at daycare at 15 months atthe end of the summer.
If they don’t start super early (infant), then it’s a hard transition whenever you do it. We hold until 15 months because that’s the switch from infant to young toddler in our facility. If we start at 10 or 12 months, then study have to transition twice- once to daycare then 2-3 months later to a whole new classroom.
FWIW IME kids fight the daycare (or any…) transition at any age. Mine got over it, even the second who is super emotionally explosive and sticks to us like Velcro.
lsw says
My son started daycare at 15 months and it was a dream. He loved it from day one. (He’s now 2.5.)
Just a counter point that it can work! He’s an independent guy so maybe that’s part of it but I was extremely stressed – it was also happening when we moved to a new house (same city).
anon says
We are moving to NYC from the south in a few months, and I am starting to worry about childcare for my 7 month old baby and 5 year old daughter. One idea that we had was hiring our housekeeper to be our kids nannies. I know this sounds odd, but this housekeeper used to be a nanny (in fact, I met her and hired her as a housekeeper when I was interviewing nannies for baby – but she was only willing to do school hours so the hours didn’t work for me), but recently started cleaning houses instead because the old family worked needed her to work 60 hours a week and she wasn’t spending a ton of time with her son. Our housekeeper is wonderful with the baby and will plays with the baby in between cleaning (not part of her job, she just loves playing with our baby) and when grandma (babies current nanny) eats lunch etc, she is just a great person in every possible way and like family to us. I KNOW this sounds insane, but I really cannot describe in a post how wonderful she is as a person and how great she is with kids. I have a lot of fear about hiring a nanny, as in my experience interviewing nannies previously for baby I had a tough time finding a good one and see a lot of meh nannies in parks etc, hence why I am even considering this.
A part of me is thinking go for it and the other part of me thinks this idea is insane. I would love to get your thoughts on the idea of bringing her along across the states.
1. Bad idea to hire someone who is currently a housekeeper? She is wonderful with kids and used to be a nanny, but not a nanny currently.
2. What about her son? That’s what stopped me from hiring her in the beginning… I am wondering if with him being 10 he could come back from school and hang out on his own, or if she would need to bring him to work (this might be a deal breaker with having a 6 year old girl too..)
3. Another fear I have is she would be moving her whole life for us. What if it doesn’t work out? She doesn’t have family here or anything, but still…
4. If we decided to go for it, what would be a competitive offer? We are thinking paying market rate for nannies in nyc ($20/hr) + pay for her move.
Anonymous says
Housekeeper as nanny is probably fine, but asking her to move with her son from the south to NYC is what sounds crazy to me.
Anon says
+1. You can ask, I guess…the worst she can do is say no.
anon says
Yes, that is what i am afraid of. Grandma mentioned she had casually thrown the idea to her and she seemed open to it though.
I think for her this would be a fairly big increase in salary (basically would double it, but nyc is expensive) based on how much she makes now cleaning houses (she doesn’t have that much work, and honestly way undercharges), and she can always say no. But yes it would put a ton of pressure on us if she moves for us.
Anon says
I’d be concerned about whether she really understands what she’s getting into moving to NYC. Double her salary might sound nice now, but where will she live, and how much will her standard of living go down?
Unless you have a huge place and are offering her to live with you sort of au pair style, this just doesn’t seem feasible to me.
OP says
Yes, I forget just how expensive NYC is. I think if we go for it we would have to explain just how expensive NYC is and how her life might look different.
Anyone who lives in NYC – would there be a salary that would make it an attractive offer / enough for her to live her current lifestyle (1 bedroom apartment in Dallas)?
CPA Lady says
https://www.bestplaces.net/cost-of-living/dallas-tx/new-york-ny/70000
ElisaR says
I can’t fathom a nanny being able to afford a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan. At least not anything south of 92nd street. I suppose it is possible but one bedroom apartments in NYC are way more than double a one bedroom in Texas. My old studio apartment that I moved out of 9 years ago was $2500 a month if that gives you any insight.
Anon says
Yeah, my in-laws pay over $6k for a pretty modest one bedroom apartment in Midtown Manhattan (which is centrally located but is actually one of the cheaper parts of Manhattan for residential real estate because it’s not trendy and not seen as family-oriented like the UWS). You’re talking about paying her a little over $3k a month before taxes, so not even half the cost of rent on a 1 bedroom.
I’m also kind of amazed you pay her only $10 an hour in Dallas. I’m in a small Midwestern city and market pay for nannies here is $15-17/hr, definitely the higher end of that or more if you pay on the books.
Eek says
Yes, that part seems crazy to me. The housekeeper to nanny part is a non-issue, in my opinion.
Anonymous says
+1. If you move her to NYC, the potential for problems will be enormous. What happens if the arrangement doesn’t work out, or when the kids are too old to need a nanny? Will you feel a sense of obligation to keep her on even when it no longer makes sense? It would be a lot different if you posted a job for a nanny in NYC and she just happened to apply and state her willingness to relocate.
Why not move Grandma with you instead?
Anonymous says
I think it’s pretty unlikely that she would be willing to uproot her entire life to move to NYC to be your nanny.
Otherwise she sounds great. Not sure I understand the issue with her kid bein a ten year old boy. She would be supervising them. I actually like it when my elementary school aged daughter gets to play with boys because it tends to be more adventurous outdoors play (tag, soccer, climbing trees) vs. princess culture based stuff. I’m so tired of mermaids and unicorns.
OP says
I think the fear is my 6 year old daughter playing with a 10 year old boy, I am always worried about sexual harassment type stuff but I am SUPER paranoid about this type of stuff, definitely overly so. But you have a good point about them being supervised.
Anonymous says
I tend to think it’s more protective in the long run to allow girls to play with boys in these more supervised scenarios and gaining experience in using their voice about what activities they do and don’t want to do (“I don’t want to climb that tree and you can’t make me”) vs. not having that experience in interacting with boys and feeling unsure of themselves later on.
Anon says
Has she expressed a desire to move to New York City? That is a huge move with a huge cost of living increase. I definitely would not want to do it if I was in her position.
I guess there’s no harm is asking her, but personally I’d just look for someone local.
OP says
Grandma very casually mentioned it to her (this was all grandma’s idea) and she was not against it, it sounded like she would be open to it if we gave her a competitive offer.
I think for her this would be an increase in salary + she would get to nanny which she likes to do more than cleaning houses but yes agree that moving to NYC from the south is huge. She isn’t from the south and has no family here other than her son.
I think it doesn’t hurt to ask but I am going to be prepared for a most likely no.
CPA Lady says
Take this with a grain of salt, since I’m financially cautious, but there is no way I’d move to NYC as a single mother unless I were making at least six figures. Granted, I also have no interest in cramming myself into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment with my kid that ‘d be paying $3,000 a month for. $20 an hour seems extremely low for a place that expensive, where you would have no family support if you ever needed to do something without your kid. And FWIW, it seems completely unreasonable to expect a 10 year old to be a latchkey kid in this situation. I know people live in poverty everywhere, but it’s a lot easier to do in the south because of housing prices alone.
OP says
Thanks your thoughts everyone. It sounds like it is a crazy idea like I feared. I think I forgot just how expensive NYC is. I am thinking if we do end up offering we would need to either offer a live-in option and move to the burbs at a large place like someone else suggested or offer a pretty large salary (if anyone is from NYC and has any suggestions it would be appreciate), otherwise her quality of life would likely go down.
Boston Legal Eagle says
You should also consider the impact on her son. 10 is an age where he probably has friends and a whole life of his own in his current city. Yes, kids can adjust to moves (I did several big moves as a kid) but it’s hard. Can you just give her a really good reference and maybe even find a local family in Dallas where she can nanny? I am sure you will be able to find someone else for yourself in NYC.
Anonymous says
if you’re moving “in a few months” could grandma come with you and bridge the gap until summer? Housekeeper/nanny person might be willing to come with her kid for the summer as he’d be out of school anyway, especially if you offered a live in option. That would get you until September which is lots of time to try and find a new nanny in NYC.
Anonymous says
This website has calculations for a “living wage” in different counties- http://livingwage.mit.edu/states/36/locations
Manhattan = NY county; Brooklyn = Kings, Staten Island = Richmond
Keep in mind that public school quality varies wildly by neighborhood, and middle school is when NYC schools tend to fall off the rails. If I were her I would never do this move unless she happened to want to be in NYC for some reason.
Park Slope Parents has great advice on finding, hiring, and paying nannies in NYC.
anon says
this honestly sounds insane to me, so insane that i would not even bring it up with her. i think her 10 year old would be too young to stay home alone after school in nyc, so he would definitely have to come with her. plus what about school breaks, etc. you do not want the responsibility/pressure of uprooting someone’s life in case it doesn’t work out. you too will be adjusting to life in a new place (i did an nyc to TX move) and moving can be hard. if you care about this woman, help her find a family to nanny for in Dallas. I am confident you will be able to find another wonderful nanny for your kids in NYC.
Eek says
+1. If you care about her as much as you say, give her a nice big severance check and an amazing reference, keep in touch and send her Christmas cards with pictures of her kids, etc. But I wouldn’t even mention to her that she should move to NY with you.
Annie says
I think you’ll be able to find a great nanny in NYC — there are so many. Definitely take advantage of neighborhood listservs/fb groups to get recommendations from other parents. You can post here to ask for what group makes sense for that neighborhood.
Anonymous says
I’m not in NYC but I’m in a Boston suburb. $20/hr is way below market for a really good, experienced nanny. Here it’s easily $25/hr, plus benefits/paid time off.
Anonymous says
agreed re: salary for Boston. I think it’s a bit cheaper in the city (of Boston/Cambridge) than the suburbs because nannies don’t have to drive, but not by much.
anon says
I need ideas for what to do with the kids this weekend! After sickness, being off MLK Day and having an extra snow day on top of that, we all have a case of cabin fever. (Doing anything “cozy” inside the house just sounds terrible at this point.) OK, my cabin fever might be worse than the kids’. Bottom line is, I cannot handle more unstructured time inside my house this weekend.
Anonymous says
What age kids and where are you located? (I’m guessing northeast given the snow comments.)
anon says
9 and 4, in the Midwest. I will do anything except the Children’s Museum, lol. (Seriously, that place is more of a zoo than the actual zoo. hate. it.)
lsw says
If you’re in the midwest, you probably have snow gear…do you have a park or field where they can just run around? Or do you have a museum that’s NOT the Children’s Museum? Mine enjoy the Science Center and the museum of natural history, we just only hit parts of it at a time (we’re members so we do the drop-by method).
Anonymous says
Also in the MW. Outdoor time is likely out of the question or hugely limited. We are having super dangerous cold this weekend. (I know, I know…there’s no bad weather, just bad clothing #notmymantra). In my town, we will be having highs that are below zero early next week.
Anon says
Yeah it’s going to be -22 in my part of the Midwest on Wednesday and I’m not even that far north. NO THANKS.
Mystery Trip says
Find a cheap hotel with a pool about 45 minutes to 2 hrs from your house that has a heated indoor pool. Drive Saturday morning, swim Saturday afternoon, watch movies in bed, order pizza, wake up, eat free breakfast, swim more, drive home Sunday afternoon. Call it a “mystery trip” and tell them when you wake them up on Saturday morning :)
SC says
This sounds like so much fun! I may save this idea for summer–when it’s too hot in my area to do anything but swim!
Em says
This is such an amazing idea! My kiddo is still a couple years from appreciating this, but I am saving this idea.
Spirograph says
+1 for a pool. Even if you don’t make an overnight trip out of it, there may be a community pool somewhere near by that has an indoor water slide.
Anon says
I want to go on this mystery trip!! It sounds so fun.
AwayEmily says
things we do when we need to get the heck out of the house: go to a new-to-you library on the other side of town. Find a mcdonalds with a play place. Trampoline park. Take them to the pet store to ogle the pets.