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This shirt seems like it would be a total fall/winter wardrobe workhorse for me. Mock necks are so much more comfortable for me than regular turtlenecks, and I love how they highlight the jewelry you’re wearing — either a necklace layered on top or a cool pair of earrings. I also like how they look a bit professorial under a blazer. I like how in this version by Banana Republic, the mock neck is offset by the elbow-length sleeve. This version also has 14% spandex, so it will have a little stretch. It’s $49.50 and also comes in a black-and-white stripe and a gray-and-white stripe. Fitted Mock-Neck T-Shirt Here’s a plus-size option for $40. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
so we have a nanny for my 7 month old twins and she has a nine year old daughter. so far our nanny has been absolutely wonderful with our twins, takes good care of them and is always trying to teach them new skills. she isn’t the best at some of the housework, but i of course primarily hired her to care for the kids. i know this sounds terrible, but when hiring, this was one of the cons since as we all know working parents with kids can have things come up etc. During the interview process when I asked what happens when her daughter is sick she said her mother in law watches her. In the five months she has been with us her daughter has been sick twice and both times her mother in law wasn’t available, so she stayed home one day and her husband the next day. on the one hand, i totally get it as a working parent, but obviously this is stressful for me, though i kind of feel like a terrible person for feeling this way. the other thing i did not totally realize was that with her previous family she always brought her daughter with her during school breaks, including the whole summer. i knew that her daughter went with her sometimes, but I did not realize that it was every day during break. (i asked her more specifically about it this morning). she did not ask to bring her and does not assume that she will be bringing her daughter with her every day. does anyone have any thoughts on this? would you allow your nanny to bring her 9 year old with her?
mascot says
Framed another way, during that 5 months, have your kids been sick? Did you have to miss work to stay home with them (which would have happened if they were in daycare)? Maybe there are more days that she has been off than you mentioned, holidays and such, but 1 day in 5 months isn’t bad, IME.
Anonymous says
This might be person dependent. Have you met the kid? There are some 9 y/os that would be a total asset, playing with/entertaining kids while mom cooks/plays with other twin. For the right kid and if you wanted to make it work, i could see it happening- but for MOST nannies and MOST 9 y/os, I’d be saying no.
Spirograph says
Really? Most 9 year old girls I’ve met are pretty self-sufficient and perfectly capable of either playing independently or helping with babies, and happy to do so. I probably wouldn’t have a problem with this, although I’d definitely want to meet the daughter, clarify expectations, and probably suggest a trial period to make sure I was comfortable before agreeing to it permanently. Have a conversation with the nanny around what her daughter usually did when she came along to her mom’s work. I wouldn’t be surprised if she played outdoors with other kids in the neighborhood and only came in for lunch, or likes to read, etc.
Em says
I agree with this. Our next door neighbors are close friends of ours and have a 7-year-old daughter who is AMAZING with our son. She is so patient with him and teaches him things, plays with him, and he listens to her better than he does to us because he is fascinated by her. I think the plan Spirograph laid out is a great way to approach it. Having your kids exposed to an older child could be a great asset.
Anonymous says
I’m the poster above that said “it depends”. My niece and my daughtte’s Best friend’s sister are both 9 and glued to devices and terrible with kids. They would resent so hard spending ansummer with babies.
But our 9 y/o neighbor and her 7 y/o sister are amazing!
Anon says
I had no interest in babies when I was 9 (and honestly still have little interest in baby’s that aren’t my own or my BFF’s) but I was perfectly capable of playing (ie reading) independently pretty much all day, and only needed my mom there to provide food and in case of emergency. If that’s the case, I think it would be completely fine. So I’m not sure “good with babies” is really relevant here. The 9 year old doesn’t have to be a babysitter as long as she won’t interfere with her mother being a good babysitter. I was a reader, but I don’t even think the older kid using a tablet is that big a deal, so long as she stays out of sight of the babies and doesn’t try to show them what she’s watching.
Anon says
Also, if the girl used to accompanying her mom in her previous job, she’s probably pretty good with kids (or used to being around them and used to the pace of life with her mom as a nanny). I’d be more concerned if she had spent her previous summers lounging at the pool, and this would be the first year she’ll be on the nanny schedule. A good friend’s nanny brings her daughter with her on breaks, and it works well — I think the nanny is grateful for the set-up, which honestly makes her a better employee. However, if you think you’ll have resentment about the set-up, I’d set expectations early that it can’t be a regular occurrence.
Anon in NYC says
If you had put your twins in daycare, you would be losing far more than two days of work in 5 months. I get feeling annoyed when your childcare falls through, but that honestly, that doesn’t sound that bad.
As for her 9 year old – Have you asked her what her plans are for her kid? Maybe her MIL will watch her, or maybe she’ll go to camps. I don’t know that I would have a strong opinion about it – yet – because a 9 year old is probably fairly self sufficient and wouldn’t require much of your nanny’s attention during the day. But if you’re concerned, maybe you can call her previous family and ask for their opinions on how it worked out and whether her child was disruptive to the family’s ordinary schedule or if she was more of a mother’s helper.
Anonanonanon says
Great suggestion, I was about to suggest the same thing- maybe call the previous family to get their feedback on how it went.
IHeartBacon says
I would be fine with the nanny bringing her daughter on sick days, but not okay with the daughter regularly coming during school breaks. A sick day is unexpected and your nanny likewise has to scramble to find childcare on those days. Not allowing the daughter to come (on days when the MIL can’t watch the daughter) only makes both you/your husband and the nanny stay home. Allowing the daughter to come let’s everyone go to work. The school breaks are known long in advance so she needs to make childcare plans in advance.
Anonymous says
I would not want the nanny to bring her sick daughter to share germs with my kids.
Anon says
I feel the opposite way. I’d be fine with her daughter coming on school breaks (after all, unless you’re paying her waaaay about market, she probably isn’t going to be coming out very far ahead if she has to pay for her own child care.) I would not want her daughter to come when she is sick, though, because germs.
RR says
My nanny doesn’t have children, but she herself has been sick a couple times. It happens. In daycare, the kids get sick and have to stay home. With a nanny, sometimes she gets sick and has to stay home (or has family who gets sick). Given that I have 3 kids, the odds are in my favor that my one 28-year-old nanny is going to get sick less than my 3 kids (although they have amazing immune systems at this point). I think it’s general kid stress more than this particular nanny stress.
I would not care if my nanny brought her 9 year old daughter. My nanny has 3 younger sisters around the age of my twins (10), and she and my kids are making plans for the younger sisters to hang out with them a few times over the summer. I’d actually be a lot more worried about the dynamic of a 9 year old with older kids than I would with babies. Either she will love and play with your twins, or she will ignore them, but it would likely be fine. But, do a trial run and see how it goes. If it’s a bad fit, you can always course correct.
Redux says
“she did not ask to bring her and does not assume that she will be bringing her daughter with her every day.”
I totally get that you are thinking this through *if* it were to come up, but please don’t make any decisions based on what you think she might do in the future. There is nothing worse for a working mom to lose an opportunity based on what her employer assumes she will do because she is a mom. E.g., losing out on a cool case or client to a man because your boss assumes that a mom wont want the travel/ late nights (and therefore pay, prestige, and contacts). I know you are trying hard not to be unfair to a fellow working mom!
HSAL says
This is such a good point. I agree.
Anonymous says
The downside of using a sole provider, whether it’s a nanny or an in-home daycare, is scrambling for backup care if they have an emergency. Do you expect your nanny to NEVER take a sick day or have a family emergency? I think the onus is actually on you to have backup care in place in case she can’t come one day (for whatever reason). It’s 2 days in five months, I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. I had to take off like 15 days or more the first year my daughter was in daycare just for fevers/stomach bug/etc…
The summer thing deserves a longer discussion.
Anonanonanon says
^This. I promise you would have had to take off many more days than that at the last inute if your kid was in daycare. Many of them have VERY strict illness rules (understandably so)
Anonymous says
1 day in 5mos is very reasonable, basically the best you could ask for imo.
I’m wondering if she’s generally flaky on other fronts and maybe that is coloring your thoughts on the sick kid/potentially bringing kid to work? My nanny is super responsible/dependable and so the few times her daughter or she have been sick it’s zero issue.
My housecleaner on the other hand is very flaky and so I think I’d tend to more negatively view a request from her for something like this based on past performance – without any real evidence. I’m wondering if this is the problem for you?
Anon says
Yeah 1 day in 5 winter months is amazing. Just for reference, we give our nanny 1 paid sick day/month (because we want to encourage her to stay home when she’s sick and not infect our infant). She has already used 4 sick days this winter, and she doesn’t have a child. When you have a nanny, you can’t expect them to be there 100% of the time because they’re just one individual and they get sick, have family emergencies, etc.
Anon says
+1. One day in five months is as good as it gets. Count yourself lucky.
Anon says
Also keep in mind that allowing her to bring her daughter is a valuable benefit that costs nothing to you. If you decide not to allow it, I’d be a little bit concerned that she might be inclined to keep her eye out for a family that would. Child care is expensive, even if it’s only during school breaks.
Anonymous says
Daughter sounds like a great bonus. By the summer, they will be toddling around everywhere and will love a big kid to read to them, chase around the garden and play with them. Especially with twins, it’s nice to have an extra set of hands. I might be biased though because my 7 year old LOVES babies and is so good with them.
Anonymous says
My 2.5 year old stayed with my mom this long weekend. Mom (who often watches all 3 of my kids for us) returned her and they both excitedly told me that daughter wore undies to bed and woke up dry all 3 nights. Apparently the first night they did diaper too. She arrived late Monday PM sound asleep, so I had her do a “dream pee” at 10 when I transferred her to bed and she again woke up dry.
So of course kiddo doesn’t want to wear a diaper to bed last night. I didn’t give her any liquids after 5:30 or so, and she peed as late as 8 when she was protesting bedtime.
At 3am, she woke up having had an accident, then would not go back to sleep until past 5am. This her deal, generally- she either sleeps trough the night or she has a nightmare/some issue and wakes up enough that she just cannot resettle. If we are *really* lucky, she screams so loud she wakes up my 5 year old and/or baby. Even though she’s been day trained for 6 months, we were holding off on nights until she woke up dry for like, a week straight. I told her after Valentine’s Day we’d try it.
But now grandma has her all hyped and I want to know if it’s just a power through and in a few days she’ll stop having 3am accidents or if we are doomed for weeks of this. My older daughter night trained around this age, and while not yet waking dry, she was waking up at 6 am then peeing—after 2 nights she just stopped.
I’m so tired. Toddler tantrumed all morning, even though I let her sleep almost 2 extra hours. Full on tantrum from wakeup to daycare dropoff. My 5 y/o commented “that’s the loudest she’s ever been mom!”
ElisaR says
I don’t have great advice for you here. My 2.5 year old has been potty drained during the day for months and I haven’t attempted nights yet. Mostly because the book I read said it can be very hard for them to hold it that long before 3 yrs old. Obviously it’s possible since she did it though! The whole up from 3am-5am would have me holding off though. Sleep is so valuable. It sounds like she’s pretty young though and you can hold off for awhile. Sending you wakey vibes! (that’s a weird sentence I know).
Anonymous says
My bigger question is how I “walk it back” since she now really wants to do it but is a TOTAL MONSTER when she’s up half the night due to an accident. Maybe pull-ups are a good compromise? I generally hate them but value my sleep and that if my family.
Aly says
Can you make it so that at Grandma’s house she doesn’t have to wear a nighttime diaper but at yours the rule is she does? I just want to sleep so bad that I can’t imagine having to wake up for a week to a wet child. 3 am is the worst. The worst! I’d spring for the pullups too (special night time panties!), though I generally dislike them as well.
ElisaR says
yeah that’s tough. I think Aly’s idea is good. See if she’ll go for it!
if it’s any consolation: my mom still complains about the night I spent at my grandmother’s house when I was 3 years old. I came home with a boy haircut that didn’t grow out for 3 years. so….. there’s that. We still laugh about it now.
CPA Lady says
That would drive me crazy. I hate when my mom gets my kid into a tizzy about something (usually some nit-picky thing about her appearance) and then hands her off to me to deal with. So frustrating.
Would it be possible to put on her underwear over her diaper? I was able to do that for my kid for a while.
Anonymous says
That’s our current setup (or…was). Then she wakes up, removes the usually wet diaper, pees in the toilet and bam, she has undies on and is good for the day.
Winter Skin says
My skin (face) is so dull and blah right now. Any drugstore-priced recommendations?
Anon says
I find that a super gentle cleanser (I like neutrogena sensitive skin foaming cleanser) followed by my trusty toner (Clinique type II) and then the neutrogena hydroboost moisturizer (the “extra dry” one) underneath my sunscreen moisturizer (neutrogena daily defense sensitive skin SPF 50 with purescreen) works wonders. I also use the moisturizer at night when I wash my face as well during the winter. I feel like the toner helps sweep the dead and dull skin flakes off, although some people might find it too drying. In the summer, I don’t bother with the hydroboost.
Ducky36 says
I love Neutrogena Hydro Boost Cleanser because it exfoliates nicely. Moisturize at night and in the morning. Then try adding L’Oreal lumi glotion over your cheeks and eyelids.
Brir says
I mix the lumi glotion in with my moisturizer at like a 1:4 ratio and it works great
Anon says
My 12 month old just had her well check and the ped said she should have 16-24 oz of cow milk daily. That seems like a ton to me. Right now, she is nursing several times a day and drinking 4-6 oz of formula (plus lots of finger food and a few ounces of water) during the workday. At dinner, she eats a lot of solids (what we’re eating, basically) and a couple more ounces of water. On weekends, she nurses more and doesn’t have any formula. Obviously we replace the formula with cow’s milk, but that’s still a lot of additional milk we need to add to her diet. I fear that if we try to get her to drink this much milk, it will replace finger food and water…is that ok? She’s very chunky and tall so no concerns about growth. She struggles with constipation already so I’m worried about what will happen if she drinks less water. What do your ~12 month olds diets look like as far as milk vs water vs food?
ElisaR says
My guy drinks way too much milk. I’m trying to cut him back. He’s at 25 oz right now. He does well with water too. Probably gets about 12 oz a day? I stopped nursing 6 months ago so I can’t attest to that aspect (he’s 13 months now).
Anonymous says
Are you planning to wean? You don’t need to replace bmilk with cow’s milk, just formula. At that age my daughter naturally drank around 32 oz. of cow’s milk per day, but she had already weaned herself.
Anon says
OP here – No immediate plans to wean. I hope to nurse until age 2 or she loses interest. She still nurses a lot (probably 5-6 times a day on a weekday, more on weekends) but I don’t think she gets very much at each session now? It’s hard to say though since I don’t pump anymore so I don’t really have a sense of my output.
She used to eat a lot of yogurt, but we cut it out of her diet, because her ped thought it was repetitive of milk and formula – this is back when she was drinking more like 12+ oz of formula most days. So we cut out the yogurt to focus more on fruit, veggies and fish. Her formula intake has really plummeted in the last month or two, because she really likes her finger foods now and she’s also drinking more water. So it definitely seems like it might be time to give her more yogurt.
Anon in NYC says
24 oz of milk a day seems like a lot. I can’t remember exactly the amounts that our ped recommended, but I think it topped out at 20 oz max. We usually did about 8-16oz, depending on whether she was eating cheese as well. My daughter hated/hates yogurt, so that never happened, and she can be fickle with cheese. When she’s off cheese, we give her more milk.
Anonymous says
Admittedly, it’s been a few years so I can’t recall specifics. Cow’s milk and dairy generally are a pretty easy sources of protein, calcium, fat, and Vitamin D so I think it provides a backstop for kids who may not be eating the full spectrum of foods yet, especially once they come off formula or aren’t nursing much. Does she eat yogurt and cheese? Maybe start at the lower end to replace the formula, offer her a wide variety of foods, and see how it goes?
Anon says
At 12 months, our ped wanted no more than 20 or 24 oz of milk a day (I don’t remember which) – more than that can apparently cause issues with iron absorption. She was eating 3 solid meals a day (she’s not a snacker) and would drink milk with meals and water in between. I think she was probably around 10-15 oz of milk a day (and also 98% for weight and height) and nursing 1-3 times a day.
Annie says
Our daughter does not get nearly the recommended amount of dairy (she just never took to milk after weaning) but I’ve decided that’s okay since she does eat a lot of rice and beans, tofu and other foods with calcium.
IP Attorney says
This…our doc recommended the same amount but said if she gets calcium from other sources such as yogurt and cheeses, then it’s totally fine if she doesn’t drink the recommended amount each day. Our 14 month old drinks a lot of milk now but 2 months ago she wasn’t having it at all because she didn’t want to drink milk out of a sippy cup (even though she would drink water). We said “eh” and just kept offering it to her, trying different cups, etc. but didn’t worry too much about her intake. Eventually she decided she loved drinking from a cup with a straw and now LOVES milk. But for over a month, she hardly drank any milk – only water and evening nurses sessions. I will say when I cut out the nursing sessions at 13 months, her interest in cow’s milk seemed to spike. But we also found the right vessel for her to drink it out of.
rakma says
DD2 nursed until about 18 months, and would only drink a few ounces of cow’s milk. When she stopped nursing, she increased her cow’s milk intake a huge amount. She was apparently getting more from those morning/night/weekend nursing sessions than I thought.
I’d start with replacing the formula, and maybe add it as an option with snacks. We don’t do milk with meals, only water, to keep up that intake.
Anonymous says
Wow that’s a lot. At 1 my kids were super into solids and had maybe 2-3 cups of milk per day- max. Lots and lots of dairy, though (yogurt in the AM, cheese always!). We were off breastmilk and bottles, so it was sippies of water or milk.
Anonymous says
I was a hard nope on this. I offered milk but didn’t make a big deal about my child drinking it or offer it outside of mealtime. She usually had at least one serving each of yogurt and cheese each day at that age. She nursed until 2.5. They serve milk at daycare with breakfast and lunch, so mostly I just let her get it there. She’s 3 now and I ask whether she wants water or milk with meals at home. She usually asks for some of both and sometimes will ask for milk randomly. I understand the convenience of milk for providing protein and other nutrients, but I’m very whatever about it. Probably in large part because I think milk tastes like vomit.
Anonymous says
Honestly I’d be looking for a new ped. That’s old and totally incorrect advice. If she’s still nursing, you don’t need to add any milk. Why would you give your kid cow’s milk when they are already getting human milk?
AAP doesn’t seem to have great info on this but Health Canada explicitedly advises that at 12 months plus cow’s milk is necessary to be offered only if not breastfeeding.
“If you are no longer breastfeeding, offer 500 milliliters (mL) of homogenized milk (3.25% M.F.) each day. Your child may like to drink a lot of milk. You should limit them to 750 mL each day to not affect their intake of other foods.” – https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/infant-care/infant-nutrition.html
Anon2 says
For vitamin D, which does not typically pass through breast milk. My ped recommends a cup or two of milk a day even though I’m still breastfeeding. We are hit or miss on that, and buy yogurt with vitamin D, but it’s something to be aware of.
Anon says
In the US at least, Vitamin D supplements are recommend from birth for exclusively breastfed babies and most peds will have you continue on them or a multi-vitamin once solids are introduced unless your kid takes to solids amazingly well.
Anonymous says
This is totally unneccesary and can reduce human milk intake. In Canada, Vitamin D is a big concern but there is no need to use cow’s milk. OTC vitamin D drops are readily available at all pharmacies. One drop a day is sufficient.
I’m not against cow’s milk. My kids all drank it after they weaned but it’s just totally unneccessary as long as toddler is nursing a couple times a day.
rosie says
That doesn’t sound like what our peds told us. I believe the recommendation at 12 months was in the 15-18 oz range for whatever kind of milk she was drinking. I EPed & mine was drinking breastmilk out of bottles then sippy cups until about 14 months, then we switched to cow’s milk. Her milk consumption did decline to what our peds said around then (I’m guessing it was bottle vs sippy cup–our peds wanted cold turkey on bottles at 12 months).
I’m also kind of surprised that your peds would tell you to cut out a healthy food like yogurt entirely.
Anon says
She definitely didn’t say yogurt was bad or that we should give her junk instead of yogurt, just that we should offer vegetables, fruits, meat and fish first and only use yogurt as a stop gap if she seemed hungry after eating that stuff. At the time she was nursing a ton and also drinking a lot of formula, so it made sense to me. Yogurt wasn’t really adding to her diet from a nutritional perspective. When we cut back on yogurt she started eating way more finger food (it might have just been coincidence, she was around 8 months and I think finger food just “clicked”) so then we kind of stopped giving her yogurt completely, mostly out of laziness (we don’t eat it, so we have to buy it specially for her and we stopped).
Pogo says
I was surprised our ped also had this recommendation. Kiddo self-weaned at around 13mo and has been a cow’s milk lover ever since (which I know every kid is not). He easily drank 20oz for several months, but recently (17-18mo) he’s probably at around 12oz a day and I’m fine with it. He gets yogurt for snack almost every afternoon. I do find that nights when he eats less dinner (because we served something other than PBJ or mac n cheese, the horror!) he will drink more milk at night, so on those days he might be more like 18oz.
Kelly says
Neither of my children drank ANY non-breastmilk, ever. I weaned them at 14 and 16 months, by 12 months they were nursing just 2-3 times a day. My ped was happy with their development and told me not to stress. We never did any vitamins or supplements either, just a balanced diet.
June says
At 12 months my son was probably drinking 18-24 oz of milk a day, and at 17 months he’s drinking 18-20 oz a day. He also has a 4oz yogurt every day, but he has never had any constipation issues and has always been small and had trouble gaining weight. According to daycare, he’s one of the biggest eaters of solid foods too.
Anonymous says
I’m sure we were at about 24 oz of milk at 12 mo — a cup (which was probably 8 oz at that age) at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Plus yogurt, cheese, etc. We might have slightly smaller cups now at 3.5 but still 3x a day. Never any issues with constipation, appropriate weight gain, food consumption, etc. Doctor has never had a problem with it.
Keeping warm says
Anyone have suggestions for specific stores or brands for cold weather clothes for a 7 year old girl? Specifically:
– Wool or wool/ blend socks? I see a lot of options on Amazon, but not sure of the quality.
-Fleece or flannel lined jeans or pants? These seem to be readily available in boy sizes, but not girls.
– similarly fleece lined leggings? I bought a Car and Jack pair from Target and they pilled and were shredded after being worn to school for one day.
Thanks!
Anon says
Gap has fleece or flannel lined pants for toddlers – but doesn’t look like they have them for older girls. The gap “cozy” leggings are great for my rough and tumble toddler, and I think they carry those in girl sizes. If not I would check LL Bean or Lands End – looks like they have some lined pants for girls (only limited sizes at LL Bean). I swear by smartwool socks for me.
GCA says
How cold is it where you are and how much will she be outside? You could try Uniqlo heattech long underwear under jeans or pants. The plus side is long underwear can also be used under a snow bib to play in the snow, whereas you won’t want to get lined jeans wet. Also, I’m partial to Smartwool socks for our family. Ours are all seconds from Sierra Trading Post and have held up well. We’re in the Northeast.
AwayEmily says
+1 to kids uniqlo heattech. They are also super comfortable.
Annie says
Primary and children’s place for fleece leggings.
DC says
It’s been in the teens/low 20’s (yes we’ve gone outside!) and primary’s fleece leggings have been great.
Anonymous says
Smartwool socks, I would just buy her the boys jeans or do long underwear+jeans, not sure about the leggings. Maybe Carters since they sell kids clothes now? FWIW I got my toddler the carter fleece leggings and the butt/seat isn’t cut high enough. I’ve met other people who gave the same problem with the pants and my toddler doesn’t have a huge butt or anything.
shortperson says
tea collection has leggings in a (cotton) sweater knit sometimes that we love. they also have a line of “cozy” leggings, as does crewcuts.
Ducky36 says
Have you checked REI? I’m not sure about the pants, but I know they have good quality socks for kids.
EB0220 says
Smartwool socks for sure.
Anonymous says
Smartwool or Darn Tough socks. They have different weights – really thick and heavy for very cold days through super slim and regular sock-like. Also different heights – anklets to over the knee.
Anonymous says
Just found out I’m a carrier for a rare disease I’d never heard of. We’re getting my husband tested (it’s slightly more common in our ethnic group), and will talk to the OB this week about whether to go ahead and do a CVS test for peace of mind. Anyone been through this?
Anonymous says
Expecting Better has good info on CVS vs Amnio in terms of safety etc…I would wait for an amino as there’s a lower risk of miscarriage (which is still very rare with either test!) and doing a CVS too early can cause a club foot. hopefully your husbands test comes back negative and you have nothing to worry about!
Eek says
I’m sure this advice is well-intentioned, but I don’t think there is enough information here to give medical advice or say whether CVS or amnio is the best course of action.
Also, Expecting Better was helpful to me in some ways but the author isn’t a doctor and after doing my own research I disagreed with some of what she said, personally. (Not saying I’m right and she’s wrong, just that it’s not gospel.) It also isn’t written for someone who has tested positive for something very rare.
rosie says
+1 I thought that Expecting Better was kind of interesting, but not really written for anyone who was going to actually go through any of the things she researched versus just wants some reassurance that a normal pregnancy is going normally.
anon. says
Yes, I’ve been through this. First, you said you’re going to do this, but really – TALK TO YOUR OB! This area of medicine is changing *very* fast, in terms of what they can discover with less invasive testing. Don’t trust Dr. Google about your options. Second, ask OB if there are specialists if your husband is positive. My doctor is part of a giant hospital/ group and there was a genetic specialist there (not a physician if I recall, but someone who read all the results and met with us). We would not have known that if we didn’t ask specifically and they may have suggestions on timing, etc.
Anonanonanon says
My reply posted as in independent post below, but please feel free to check it out below
Anon says
Yes, my husband and I are both genetic disorder carriers (which was a huge surprise!). It was discovered during pregnancy, so we went with an amnio since I was farther along. Fortunately, it is not fatal, though it does impact a person’s quality of life. We confirmed that my daughter was affected, though we made the decision to continue with the pregnancy and I used that time to prepare for having a special needs child. Fast forward, my daughter is now over a year old and has been completely healthy to this point! Her disease could progress in the future, or she could be completely fine, or only experience very mild symptoms. Genetics can only tell you so much – it’s wild to have this knowledge but also we don’t really know for sure how it’s all going to play out.
Meet with a genetic counselor, do some research, and try not to freak out. The odds of both of you being a genetic carrier are very small, and then you still have a 25% chance (with most of these recessive diseases) of your child even being affected. The odds are really on your side.
Anonymous says
Thank you, this helped a lot.
Migraines during pregnancy says
Anyone find help for migraines during pregnNcy? They went away with my first (a girl), but I’ve been having them this pregnancy (a boy). I take daily magnesium supplements (neuro recommended), and for the migraines can only take Tylenol/anti-nausea meds/caffeine. So basically I ride out the headache until it goes away after 48-72 hours. Any tips would be appreciated! I see my neuro next month.
Pogo says
I didn’t find the magnesium to help, so I stopped that. I did have trigger point injections because those are OK during pregnancy, and I can’t say that they 100% cured everything, but they did seem to help.
I also liked the origins “peace of mind” peppermint lotion, which I put on my temples. If there’s any chance that sinus pressure is contributing, use a humidifier at night.
My best bet was laying in a dark room – not conducive to working, but it was really all I could manage. My neuro said that technically some opioids can be used in pregnancy but I was very wary of that and didn’t pursue it.
Anonymous says
Thanks – yeh I hate opioids anyways so I avoid them at all costs! All they seem to do is make me nauseated and tired.
When you say trigger point injections do you mean an occipital nerve block or Botox?
Anonymous says
if you think it might be electrolyte related, try coconut water as it is high in potassium. DH is super sensitive to low potassium and had awful headaches after running until his doctor told him to use coconut water instead.
Anonymous says
Accupunture? Massage Therapy? My sister has to get monthly massages to keep her migraines away.
Anonymous says
My migraines became worse when I got pregnant. I understand there are reasons not to take certain medications, but as my doctor said at that time, I needed to be healthy to make sure to facilitate a healthy baby. As I could not sleep or keep food down because of the migraines, I was certainly not healthy. But I would recommend that in addition to talking to your neurologist, you also consult your OB as that person has more training on drugs that are safe during pregnancy.
Anonymous says
Our recent family vacation was a total disaster. My husband spent the entire time griping about the cost of everything, despite the fact that we’d planned and budgeted for this trip. He refused to do any activities that weren’t free, except for one dumb activity that he insisted on that no one else wanted to do and that we could have done at home. He wanted to spend a lot of time sitting around in the hotel room, and at one point he stormed off by himself for a walk. I spent the entire time trying to insulate the rest of the family from his behavior and frantically attempting to change restaurant reservations to places that were cheaper. He has acted like this to some degree on other vacations, but never quite this bad. His vacation complaints aren’t always about money, either–a lot of the time he doesn’t even want to do free activities like hiking because they are too much effort. At this point, I never want to go on another family vacation again. Given the amount of complaining he did during this last trip, along with his constant fretting about money since we got home, I thought he’d hated the trip as much as I did. But now he is talking about planning a trip for spring break, on top of another vacation that’s already booked for the summer. He was genuinely surprised when I explained that the last trip hadn’t been at all enjoyable for me or the rest of the family, and that I thought a spring break trip wasn’t a good idea. I’m at a loss as to how to proceed here.
Anon says
What did he say when you told him that you didn’t have a good time and explained why? Does he deny that he behaved this way, or does he admit that he was a pill but think you should just put up with it? Does he have a good explanation for why this was behavior was an anomaly, if he claims it was a one-off thing (eg if one of you is a furloughed fed, the sudden financial worry would be a lot more understandable). I feel like you have to know his explanation before you can know how to proceed.
OP says
He denied that his behavior was in any way unusual and got angry at me for criticizing him.
Anon says
In that case, it sounds like your problem is a lot bigger than the vacation. You should be able to talk through this stuff without him getting angry. Marriage counseling about communication is my only real suggestion, sorry it’s a very generic one.
I also an uber frugal husband that hates the costs associated with travel, and I have some strategies for managing that, but in my case communication isn’t really an issue. You have to be able to communicate well to manage the underlying issue about spending travel/spending money.
Mama Llama says
+1 and definitely do not plan any more trips with him. I’m sorry you are dealing with such an unreasonable person.
Anonymous says
You need marriage counseling. Storming off and then representing like it is NBD isn’t okay. This isn’t just about the vacation. He’s being disrespectful to you.
My DH hates travel. He immigrated here to be with me and likes to use all vacation time to visit friends and family in his home country. We’ve worked around that by adding a vacation week in an area near his home country and traveling in a style he likes (more self catering and less eating out) and occasionally with his friends or family in addition to the home country visit time, but once we agree on the details, there’s no complaining. It took marriage counseling for us to get to this compromise.
Being married doesn’t mean you each have to love all the choices you make together for your family but you do have to treat each other kindly and respectfully. Your DH is not doing that.
anon says
My parents’ best friends divorced years ago and when the wife once explained why, she used your exact story as one of her reasons (which seemed to go along with depressed behavior on the part of the husband, who wasn’t interested in treating his issues). I’m not saying that you should get a divorce, but you are not crazy and there are lots of people who couldn’t handle that.
On a practical side to treat the symptoms, if you’re going to have another family vacation, I would suggest something all-inclusive so that he can’t opt out after it’s all been budgeted and paid for.
Anonymous says
I’d go on vacations with the kids and leave him at home.
Who planned the vacation? I’d consider putting him in charge of planning if he isn’t already. Maybe it would help him to feel in control of the costs?
Anon says
Or let him take the kids, since it sounds like he’s really gung-ho about a spring break trip and you’re not. It sounds likes the *idea* of traveling at least and might be upset if you planned a trip that didn’t include him.
Anon says
Gah sorry for typos, I meant “it sounds like he likes the idea of traveling at least”
OP says
He definitely likes the idea of traveling, but not the reality. He has already proposed taking the kid on a (different) trip without me, and kid is 100% opposed.
Anon says
Are you by any chance the person who posted recently that her DH didn’t ever want to spend any money? Or did this just come up on this vacation?
Anonymous says
The anti-spending attitude is relatively new, but it’s not just about vacation. He suddenly believes that we need to have our retirement and college tuition fully funded right now–just being on the path to having the money saved up when we actually need it is not enough. He’s also decided that I am “controlling” because I’m the one doing the planning. Which makes no sense, because in the past he has wanted me to do the planning because he doesn’t enjoy it and I am better at it.
Eek says
Can you insist that he plan the vacation, including mapping out your activities in advance? That way if his ideas are completely out of line with what will be enjoyable, you have the option to bail on the trip before it happens.
anon says
Oh, yikes, hugs to you. My dad often behaved this way on vacations (he and my mom had a terrible relationship) and I do not have fond memories of family vacations from my childhood. More recently, my FIL threw a tantrum on a family vacation. I was VERY hesitant to go on another one, but my SIL and I made sure to set a bunch of expectations and do a ton of preplanning and it went much better.
Adult tantrums are not ok and I personally would not put up with it. Kudos for you for telling him how you feel. I’m sorry he reacted the way he did. I wish I had some advice, but I don’t. Best of luck.
Anonanonanon says
That sounds miserable. I spent a childhood of family vacations ruined by a grumpy dad (not about money, but just random grumps) and it is so stressful for everyone. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
I think going on vacation with the kids without him when you’re married might not be received well. BUT, is there a reason he has to go on all the activities? Can you talk to him ahead of time and say that you and the kids are interested in going to the aquarium, but if he doesn’t want to go you understand and won’t be offended? That might be easier and more enjoyable for everyone, but then he’s not entirely excluded from the vacation.
Anonymous says
My dad always budgeted for vacation when I was younger and my mom was like your husband. As a solution, my dad took $x in cash out and that was the money for the trip. No more. He paid cash for everything and when it was gone, it was gone. Usually we had a big fun day at the end to use up the remaining money.
Anon says
Your husband was my father. It started on vacations (the storming off, my mom trying to protect us from his mood swings) and then spread to the rest of our lives over a period of years.
It messed me up a lot, to be honest. I have very few positive memories of family vacations, and now when I travel with my husband and kids a lot of those memories come up and make it tough for me (for example, I often get defensive or overreact).
So, I don’t have great advice other than validating your frustration and your sense that this is not healthy.
Anonymous says
Don’t go on vacation. Insist he go to counseling. Get a divorce. In that order.
Anonanonanon says
I’m the child of two CF carriers, and hemophilia runs on one side of my family (too much chlorine in the gene pool you might say) so they tested me and I’m a CF carrier, but they said my husband was negative so there was no reason to test the baby as we both had to be carriers to pass it along, which I thought was the case for all genetic diseases? Are you asking in case he tests positive? I wouldn’t go ahead with any invasive testing if you’re not sure your husband is positive.
Anon says
+1. No need to do anything unless your husband is a carrier for the same disease.
Anonymous says
Yes.
Anonanonanon says
Also, something my OB advised regarding testing when I had the “OMG WHAT IF WE’RE BOTH POSITIVE” discussion, is to think about what you’re going to do with the results. First of all, even if you’re both carriers, there’s only a 25% chance the baby will have it. Secondly, are you early enough in the pregnancy, or is the disease severe enough, that you would consider teminating if the baby is positive? 100% no judgement, but if you’re going to move forward with the pregnancy regardless, is invasive testing with a greater-than-zero risk worth it just to have the knowledge? Again, totally depends on the disease (if there’s a lot of surgeries anticipated right after they’re born etc. maybe you need to know ASAP to talk to your employer, stuff like that) so I’m not discounting that, they’re just things to consider
Anonymous says
It is only the case if the disease is a recessive trait. That is true of many genetic diseases, especially the rare ones, but I’m sure it isn’t true of all genetic diseases.
Anon says
Well if it’s a dominant trait, she has the disease herself and would have already known about it…
Anonymous says
Some present later in life and she might not have developed symptoms, yet. (devil’s advocate) once you get into rare genetic diseases, there are few absolutes.
Anonymous says
Right. I’m not saying it is OP’s situation in the thread above. I’m just disagreeing with the proposition that all genetic diseases require both parents to be carriers for the child to have the disease.
Anonymous says
Or it could be sex-linked, like hemophilia.
Anonanonanon says
Which is why I said “I thought” with a question mark and not “I’m 100% certain”
Baby Schedule says
I am struggling with the Eat, Play, Sleep “schedule” of my 3 month old. I have been trying to feed every 3 hours (for about a month) but getting to that point involves a lot of fussing since he only naps for 30-40 minutes at a time and screws up the rest of the day. E.g. eats at 7am, naps until 830 and then acts very sleepy/hungry until 10. Later in the day he ends up conking out for 3 hours sometimes and I have to wake him up to eat. Should I continue to stick with this and assume at some point he will get onto schedule or just give in and go 2 hours b/w feeds (feed him at 7 and 9) in the morning and go 4 hours in the afternoon? Or does this defeat the purpose of this? Has anyone dealt with a similar baby? I’m going back to work soon and I am nervous about the lack of routine.
When does nap time actually start and end at certain times instead of just when sleepy?
Anon says
If he’s acting hungry, definitely feed him immediately. He will absolutely get on a schedule at some point, although I’m not sure there’s ever a point where you let a schedule trump your baby’s obvious needs. I have an 11 month old, and although she naps, wakes up and goes to bed at roughly the same time every day (barring something very disruptive like plane travel), we still watch her for hunger and sleep cues and if she seems tired, we don’t hesitate to put her to sleep early. There’s a reason that the infant rooms in daycares don’t generally have set feeding or nap times and are “on demand” – because infants (especially younger infants) don’t really have schedules and need to be fed and go to sleep whenever they feel like it.
I’d also add that 3 hours between feeds seems very long for a three month old, especially if you’re breastfeeding. But I don’t think the real issue is the duration between feeds, it’s trying to have a baby this young on a schedule at all.
Anon says
Oh and I missed that you’re waking him up to eat…I definitely wouldn’t do that! (Unless he’s sleeping so long it’s interfering with his nighttime sleep). Once they’re two weeks old and have regained their birthweight, there’s no medical reason to wake a healthy, full-term baby for food. Enjoy the long naps…honestly, I think frequent feeds when awake and then one longer nap sounds like a dream schedule for a 3 month old. That’s the schedule that older infants/toddlers will eventually get on.
OP says
Thanks! I will try to be more responsive to his feeding cues while I am still on leave and tell our childcare provider the same. How do you do this with pumping at work though? I thought you were supposed to pump when the baby eats? That was mostly why I was trying to get on a schedule so I could schedule pumping at work.
The other issue is that he acts very sleepy but does not actually go to sleep, which is what catches up to him in the afternoon and the long nap (which he can only do in the stroller). But it sounds like if he doesn’t want to sleep despite acting like it that is just what will happen I shouldn’t feel bad about feeding him multiple times without a nap in between.
Anonymous says
You don’t need to pump at the same time he’s eating, although if you have any kind of supply issues, that may be helpful so your supply matches up better on weekends. I pumped 2x a day at work and scheduled based on 1. what times the nursing mothers’ room was available, 2. my work schedule. One time in the morning and one time in the afternoon. I left the baby with 4 bottles, and did not ever bother labeling them AM or PM.
And yes, it’s not a requirement for the baby to sleep before he eats again, don’t feel bad about that at all! What do you do when he’s acting sleepy but not actually sleeping? You could try taking him for a walk then, too, to try to get an extra little nap in.
Spirograph says
With the giant caveat that all babies are different, you can start trying to impose a schedule now. If your baby is on track for growth, there is no need to wake a baby up to feed him at this point! I’d try to move to 2 naps/day: a shorter one in the morning and longer one in the afternoon, with meals that roughly correspond with breakfast, lunch and early dinner. If I’m remembering right, my babies would usually nurse before I left for work (6:30-7ish), then have a pre-morning nap bottle around 9, pre-afternoon nap bottle around 12:30, post-afternoon nap bottle around 4, and pre-bedtime nursing/bottle around 7.
What is your childcare plan? If your baby will go to a daycare center, you don’t need to worry about getting him on a schedule because daycare will do it for you. If you’re using a nanny, she can either make a schedule that works for her, or not worry about it since she doesn’t have to accommodate any other kids.
Anon says
3 months is way too early for (most babies) to transition to 2 naps/day. Most kids make that transition around 6 months. If the kid does it by himself, great. But it’s really not healthy to try to force a 3 month old onto a 2 nap schedule. And no legitimate daycare would do that.
Anonymous says
Yep, 3 months is usually still 3-4 naps. Our older son kept 3 naps until 10 months. Current 5 month old usually does 3 but obviously if he’s tired or has shorter naps than usual he gets 4. That said, for some babies (both of mine for example) 3 months is not too young for a “schedule.” Older son put himself on one around that age, younger son did by 10 weeks because we had to wake him up at the same time every day to take older son to school . “Schedule” usually means “wake up 7 am, nap roughly 70 min later for roughly 120 min, eat, nap roughly 70 min later, nap for roughly 120 min,” etc. I also was willing to wear or hold my babies to get long naps when they were that little, which assisted with the routine. Both babies learned to take longer naps on their own around 5 months. HOWEVER, baby’s day at daycare doesn’t look that much like his day at home, and THAT IS OKAY. I wouldn’t worry about getting the baby on a schedule just for daycare. Daycare will do things a little bit differently than you do, and in my opinion that’s good for your baby.
Spirograph says
adding that I agree with the Anon above, your schedule shouldn’t trump your baby’s needs. You can nudge toward a regular schedule, but it should always be a little flexible. Growth spurts can throw everything off when babies want to eat ALL THE TIME, and I still put my Kindergartener to bed early if he’s acting exhausted and crazy.
OP says
We are going to use a nanny. Yours is the same “schedule” I am going for with feeds basically to help me plan my pumping at work. Seems like the 2 naps makes sense if the baby is getting enough daytime sleep. Because my baby tends to have such short naps, we will probably need to continue 3 or 4 for a little while at least.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a 3 month old (my second). I try to follow the eat play sleep thing, but I wouldn’t say that my baby has a schedule during the day yet. I generally try to feed him between 2-3 hours after the start of his last feeding, but if he seems hungry before the 2 hours is up, then I feed, and sometimes (rarely) he can go longer than 3 hours during the day. After eating, he’s awake for a bit and plays. Nap lengths are all over the place and don’t start and end at the same time, which is ok for right now. My first started daycare at 4 months and he generally had 3 naps there, again with no specific start and end time at the beginning. I don’t remember when he went to 2 naps, but it was definitely after 6 months.
Nighttime is when you want to have a set “routine” at this point to get him in the habit of sleeping longer stretches. Our nighttime routine is pretty consistent now and is generally at the same time every day (between 7-8). He’s not sleeping through the night consistently yet, but he’s done some pretty long stretches.
As for pumping, I mentioned this here earlier, but I had 2 set pump times and they didn’t always match when the baby ate. I pumped at 10 and 2:30/3 and figured that since the baby ate roughly 3-4 bottles while I was out, this should cover it. Caveat again that I didn’t have supply problems and the pump worked fine for me.