Finally Friday: Loafer Flat

A PSA I’ve been meaning to post. For those of you who travel with kids, especially young kids, please check a hotel room–drawers, closet, under the bed, etc.–for dangerous objects when you check in. My parents recently checked into a hotel room and found a handgun in a drawer under the TV, low enough for any small child to grab it. They did not handle the gun, so they don’t know whether it was loaded or whether the safety was on. They called the front desk, who called the local police department. The police removed it from the hotel room and are checking whether it has been used in a crime, etc. This hotel is expensive, marketed to families, and has a no-guns-in-the-room policy (but, of course, the hotel can enforce the policy only by asking the person to leave, i.e., it’s not a criminal offense to break the policy). The whole thing freaked me out, and I kept thinking, “What if we had been there with our toddler instead?” He LOVES to open drawers and pull everything out.

Oh wow, the “Multi Hologram” irridescent version of these shoes on Amazon & Zappos!?!

I want those for Halloween. Or for random funsies. Not for $250, of course, and I probably would never really wear them even if they were cheap, beyond Halloween. But I do kind of want to put them on my feet and walk around and say “ooh, shiny” and laugh.

Do people actually buy and wear this kind of thing? Where?

I actually do like the look of the black ones, but they are way out of my budget, and they don’t come in wide widths. Anyone else want to go fall down the Zappos “you may also like” black hole with me, or have a recommendation for something that either runs wide or comes in wide widths and is a similar loafer/moccasin low heeled look?

Looking for wisdom (if anyone has any) on managing the two career household. My husband and I do very similar work in very similar roles at different organizations. This means there can be a constant flow of subtle jealousy — nothing big, but for example his month is total booked with travel (including travel overseas) for speaking engagements but I haven’t gotten a single call in ages, meanwhile I got invited to join a prestigious project but he hasn’t gotten the same invitation. It also means that no one’s job is primary, which can make juggling a challenge. He has some anxiety issues and they tend to manifest themselves as him feeling insecure about his work and needing to put in extra hours at the office. This often directly cuts into my ability to put in extra hours since we have kids. Also, I feel like he often assumes that he can go to the office anytime he’s not expressly watching the kids. So for example, he asked if we have plans Sunday then announced he’s going into the office for the afternoon. This would so not fly if I did the same thing, and that makes my blood boil. It’s fine to say “I have some work I should do — if I went to the office Sunday, would that work” but that’s totally different that announcing he’s going to work just because we don’t have plans (except of course the plans to take care of our small children). He also has never ever spent a whole day alone with our children. He always has his mom or someone else around to help, meanwhile I spend at least one whole day alone with them every weekend. Or often I plan to since he’s said he’s going into work, then it turns out he’s just hanging out in the basement watching videos while I’m stuck with the kids. I love the kids. I love having time with them. But with two small children, it can be unfun to be alone with them for long periods since even just running an errand with them in tow is a hassle. On the one hand, I respect that he sometimes has extra work to do. And I realize that his anxiety issues make work extra stressful for him. But on the other hand, I feel like my work takes second place and I resent the fact that the kids and I pay the price for his anxiety while his employer only benefits (he never feels the need to put in extra work at home — yay I don’t make him anxious but I really wish if he were going to work extra I’d sometimes see the benefit from that extra work, not have it just make more work for me.) Sometimes I wonder if having two equally ambitious people is really a good mix.

Perfect segue into my burning question of the week: what is the current conventional wisdom on what sort of shoe should be worn with tights? I LOVE black tights and wear them with wool skirts and with my skirt suits in the winter. (Not for truly “men in white shirts only” business formal, of course.) I have pointy flats, flat oxfords, black and taupe Chelsea boots, black pointy-toed ankle booties, and black flat boots that hit me a few inches below the knee, as well as a full assortment of pumps in black flat and black patent. What is the right answer these days?