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Some of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…
- Racked has a message to share about maternity wear: “Dear Maternity Clothes: Please Stop Being So Ugly.”
- Gallup has released a report called “Women in America: Work and Life Well-Lived” after surveying more than 323,500 adults. When working mothers were asked if they’d prefer to have a job outside the home or stay at home and take care of the house and family (if they could do either), 54% of women with children under 18 said that they would rather stay home.
- NPR looks at paid family leave around the world.
- New York magazine’s The Cut reports on a new UNICEF report that shows “Girls spend 40 percent more time than boys doing household chores. … Across the world, girls between the ages of 5 and 14 spend 160 million more hours cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of family members, and collecting water and firewood.”
- Kids around the country are not exactly thrilled that FluMist is no longer recommended for them because it’s less effective than the flu shot, but The New York Times’ Well Family has tips for making the vaccine less scary and less painful.
- The Washington Post’s On Parenting tells you how to avoid becoming a helicopter parent.
- Also from Well Family: a mother shares her harrowing efforts to get her daughter to stay in her room at night and actually sleep.
Do be sure to check out the news update over at Corporette!
On Corporette Recently…
- Kat shared her Nordstrom Sale picks, and The Hunt rounded up strappy pumps.
- We discussed our favorite office movies, especially those that focus on women.
- We talked about how to find the best planner.
Did we miss anything? Add ‘e m here, or send them to [email protected]. Thank you!
Anon says
I find it hard to believe that 54% of working mothers would prefer to stay home. I wonder what percent of working fathers feel the same. And how much of it is because we have family-un-friendly policies that put the burden of child-rearing largely on the mother’s shoulders.
I absolutely love working and could not stay home, but my 10 week maternity leaves (unpaid) were still way too short. If we had paid leaves that encouraged both parents to bond with the child (and allow the mother to fully recover) would that change the dynamic?
Or if schools were the length of a typical work day, would that help moms feel better about working? If dads were expected to run the PTA, would that impact their preferences? If dads were largely in charge of finding after-school-care and scheduling the summer care, would that?
Anons says
I get what you are saying, but my own opinion is that my world is a little bubble, which can skew my view of these statistics. If I look at overall working women–many of whom are toiling away in low-paying jobs that don’t add much to the family’s bottom line but do provide essential income that can’t be cut, I can believe the 54% figure. I’m sure the cashier that rings me up at McDonald’s would rather be home with her baby than juggling her shift schedule with her husband’s shifts at the hospital and her sister’s shifts at the plant so that one of them is always available to care of the kids (because who can afford daycare on a McDonald’s salary). That is an extreme example, but I think there are a lot of women out there in positions like that who are not part of my usual sphere of influence. In my own world, many of my working mom friends *could* stay home if they wanted to, but they are choosing to pursue careers that are meaningful to them and/or provide a pretty good boost to their family’s income. None of them are doing shift work in a low paying job, but many other mothers are.
The maternity leave issue is just embarrassing for the U.S. But paternal leave isn’t a magical cure-all. Sweden and other countries have still struggled with bringing dads into the family dynamic with very generous leave policies.
I really think the primary driving factor in so many of these issues is the complete lack of respect for caregiving of others in our society. Anne Marie Slaughter tried to put a label on this and describe the problem in her book “Unfinished Business.” But until the world recognizes economic and social value in taking care of persons other than ourselves, then we are going to have massive problems with equality in the workforce and having dads step up to do things like run the PTA, arrange after school care, schedule doctor’s appointments, etc. Recognizing the value of caregiving leads to things like thinking about school schedules, work schedules, flextime availability, maternity leave policies, etc.
Anon says
I grew up in a very blue collar, economically depressed area so many of my lifelong close friends are in those low-paying jobs. And while men and women both want more pay, most of those women are working because they don’t want to be dependent on the (shaky) men in their lives. I wouldn’t say they would prefer to be home and take care of the kids/house so much as they prefer to not be the sole stable breadwinner. (Which I know is a role men traditionally held.)
Interesting that the wording was “if you were free to do either” because yeah, if I didn’t have to worry about money or stability, then of course I’d like the flexibility of no job. I’d find my own accomplishments that didn’t have deadlines or restrictions on vacations.
Meg Murry says
The exact quote was”54% of employed women with a child under the age of 18 would prefer to stay at home and take care of the house and family”.
I haven’t read the whole original article, but it’s very possible this survey was asked in a leading way, or that the surveyed women felt like if they said they DIDN’T want to be a SAHM that would make them look bad.
Personally, my subtext to that survey question would be ‘Would you like to quit your job and be a SAHP [with the assumption that you could afford to maintain your current lifestyle on your husband’s salary, and there were no negative long term career repercussions to leaning out]?” Since I have school aged kids and don’t absolutely love my job, I’m pretty sure I would be on board with answering “if a magical genie showed up and we were given the option to have our household make the same amount of money and my husband do the same amount of work but me stay home while my kids are in school 7 hours a day? Yes please, even if it means I would become the primary grocery shopper and house cleaner.” Now, would I want to be a SAHP with babies or toddler aged kids? Or would I regret this decision in the summer when school was out? Probably.
I think a lot of women want the *option* to be SAHP, and like the idea in theory, more than they actually want to be a SAHP in the cold hard light of reality.
I also wonder how leading the questions were before that one to be heavy on the mom guilt, and whether the survey was asked by a human or by clicking buttons on a computer. Studies have shown that people can be primed by previous questions, and tend to answer in the way society expects them.
Meg Murry says
Ok, now I read the report, and it looks like the question asked was this:
If you were free to do either, would you prefer to have a job outside the home, or would you prefer to stay at home and take care of the house and family?
The whole survey and links to the actual data analysis is here: http://www.gallup.com/poll/186050/children-key-factor-women-desire-work-outside-home.aspx
For women, the answers were:
With child under 18:
Not employed women: work:37% stay home: 57%
Employed women: work: 40% stay home: 54%
Without child under 18:
Not employed women: work:51% stay home: 46%
Employed women: work: 71% stay home: 29%
This was also apparently question number 33 of a phone survey, so I could go all kinds of data geek on whether they were influenced by the person asking the questions, the questions before or after this one, or even about the kind of person likely to actually answer a phone survey, but I’ll leave it for now.
Either way, somewhat interesting, not all that surprising. I think the most interesting part for me is the years where the women’s answers flip (look at the graphs in the middle of the page) and what was going on in US economically then.
Anonymous says
pretty sure most of us are in the 40% of employed women who would continue to work.
Spirograph says
I know I am! But, as Meg Murray alluded to above, that will probably change once my kids are all in school. I have faith in my ability to be a good mom for an extra couple hours/day for elementary-aged kids getting home at 3:00, and I could definitely entertain myself with homemaking and volunteering during school hours. I’m significantly more skeptical that I could handle 3 kids under 4 + homemaking all day every day, and I know I couldn’t consistently provide the fun, clean, and enriching environment my kids get at daycare. My job is not my dream career, but at this point in my life, the office is a vacation compared to home.
Interesting statistic, though. I’d be curious to see how the answers change with kids’ age ranges defined more narrowly than “under 18.”
anon says
I have been unemployed for a couple of months. I’m looking for another job because my husband has a low-paying job with no benefits. Money is super tight, and we’re deferring some long-term debt, not saving at all, and using up some savings, like our HSA funds, so we really can’t afford for me not to work. In the meantime, I’ve become the grocery shopper, deal hunter, lawn cutter, cook, and primary caregiver when our son is not in daycare (which his grandparents paid for). In all honesty, I love it, although we can’t afford it long-term. I never thought I would say that. Also, I am super stressed about how we’re going to manage everything when I do go back to work. My husband works hard, his schedule is not very flexible, and he seems either unwilling or incapable of doing more childcare or household tasks. He says, “We’ll figure it out,” but all I hear is “You’ll figure it out.” So, honestly, I’m not surprised 54% of women with children answered that they would stay home. Also, being “free” to do either is vaguely worded. There is a lot of room between, “We will not eat tonight if I do not work,” (the McDonalds example, and “Savings, retirement, health care, good food, and some entertainment are important to us,” (me), and “I would quit if my standard of living didn’t change”
EP-er says
I am devastated about the Flu Mist going away for the kids. Those 4 year shots traumatized my 8 year old — I’m not sure how we are handling this yet this year…. probably some bribe.
mascot says
Bribes and honesty. Yes, it is going to hurt for a minute, but then we will go get ice cream. I also give a dose of motrin prior to the visit to take the edge off. He may surprise you since he is so much older now. Have you gotten your flu shot yet? My six year old was very interested in watching mine. He offered to let me squeeze his hand, but then ended up squeezing mine instead. It was funny.
Anonymous says
youtube video on your phone – especially effective if you withhold screen time for the day before
Lurker says
Go somewhere that you know is good with shots. My local pharmacy HURTS. My local health clinic is amazing. Ask around.