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I’ve written about my love of a good puffer jacket. My daughter loves them too, but like most kids, doesn’t like the bulkiness of winter clothes.
For the past few years, I’ve gotten her (and my son) Primary’s puffers. I first purchased Primary’s lightweight puffer vests, which work well alone or under/over another coat. For Christmas, I bought my daughter their lightweight puffer jacket. It comes in a rainbow of colors, is perfect for the Mid-Atlantic’s cool, milder winters (it also works well as a layer for cold snaps), and is made from recycled fabric. She loves it because it keeps her warm while allowing her run, dance, and play freely.
Primary’s puffer jacket is on sale for $22.50 and available in sizes 2–12 for most colors. There’s also a version for babies 0–24 months on sale for $24.50. Lightweight Puffer Jacket
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Cb says
We have this as well. It works, with a fleece underneath, all winter long (our temps are typically 28f-35f during the winter), although he’s got a heavier coat for playing in the snow.
Pogo says
Daycare sent a picture yesterday and 4/5 kids were wearing this jacket!
Anonymous says
They’re so cute but the fit hasn’t worked for us. I have a tall and chunky kid so Primary can be a bit of a fit challenge in general but we usually do ok by sizing up, but the jackets just didn’t work for us. :/
Anonymous says
They’re so cute but I don’t understand how this is practical, since it doesn’t appear to be waterproof.
Anonymous says
YMMV but I haven’t actually found waterproof winter jackets to be that important for kids since daycare keeps them inside when it’s actually raining and in the Midwest at least it really doesn’t rain that much in winter -it’s pretty much either dry or snowing. We get a lot of rain in the spring and summer but you don’t need a heavy coat then.
AnonATL paging DC Natl Guard Anon says
I was so wrapped up in my own nonsense yesterday, that I didn’t fully register your comment. My husband is in the reserves, and it is very difficult and lonely when he’s gone. I’m sure you are feeling that x10 right now with what’s happening in DC and the virus.
Thinking of you and all the other DC moms on this board who are facing extra uncertainty this week and next.
Anonymous says
Thank you!! I feel like people don’t understand the difficulty of reserve life. My DH has a pretty demanding FT job on top of it. Thankfully one of my good friends here is in the reserves herself. We have determined that the sacrifice is worth the benefits and he’s proud to serve our country (and I’m proud of him). I know it WILL get easier on us as a family as our kids get older (toddler and preschooler here).
Anonanonanon says
I’m sorry. It is really difficult. My ex-husband was (is, I guess) in the guard and it felt like we had most of the sacrifices with very little of the support offered to active duty. The constant uncertainty was the hardest part.
anonamommy says
Preschool just announced they are closed M-W and half of Thursday next week due to safety concerns for their staff. I am OVER IT. (They were already going to be closed Monday. Obviously I want staff to be safe, but this is a huge inconvenience.)
Anonymous says
Yep, same. School is closed today through next Wednesday, primarily due to all the road closures making it impossible for staff and many parents to get to and from the center. Luckily things seem slow at work, and my managers seem to understand that this is a really tough couple of weeks for everyone in DC. I stocked up on groceries this morning and the store was already out of some things (ground beef, some pastas).
Little Monkey says
Anything I should pay attention to before using a jogging stroller the first time? I am trying to get into a good routine with couch to 5K and the only way right now is bringing toddler (18 months) along.
Anonymous says
Use the leash, and be prepared to hear “faster, mama, faster!”
Anonymous says
“Mom, why aren’t you running??”
“I’m interval training!!!”
I taught my kids to say “go mama go, you’re strong!” when we approach a hill. It’s the best.
Bring tons of snacks.
avocado says
I love this! It reminds me of a poem about hill workouts by Olympic runner Alexi Pappas, which appeared in Jenny Rosenstrach’s recent profile of Pappas at Cup of Jo.
Nan says
Yes! My little one is known to yell “passing on your left!” when I was definitely *not* planning on passing.
Anonymous says
My husband just straps the kid in and goes. He runs pretty fast (~6 minute miles) and has never had any issues. I think if you start when they’re 6 months or whatever the minimum age is, you probably need to be a little more cautious but toddlers are more robust.
NYCer says
Sorry to be a downer, but I found it to be incredibly difficult to run with a jogging stroller… So I would be prepared to take it slow at the beginning! I do think you get more used to it over time, but I just never had the patience (or desire) to get to that point.
My husband uses/used it more than I do.
Anonymous says
Pushing a jogging stroller is hard work. I agree that it could be slower than what you what or what you’ve done before. But you’re pushing and controlling something really heavy. So you’re totally making up for it, and more probably. Try to remember that if you feel discouraged but wish to continue.
Jeffiner says
And when you run without the stroller, you’ll be super fast! The stroller is great resistance training.
Anon says
Have fun!!! My first is too heavy to run with in the jogging stroller anymore and I can’t wait until my second is 6 months to run with me. I so enjoyed that time together.
My first would like to take off her shoes and throw them off so pay attention to flying objects.
GCA says
Lock your front wheel for stability (it’s a bit of a pain when turning though). Bring snacks and water. Run at naptime if your toddler is likely to fall asleep, or map out interesting routes that go by playgrounds if your kid is not a stroller-napper.
So Anon says
My experience was that like so many things post-kids, a run with a jogging stroller will not be the same as a run pre-kids, but it is a fun and great run in its own way. A jogging stroller plus toddler can be heavy, so do not expect to run as fast as you would on your own. The upside is that when you do run on your own, you feel super strong. I found that I needed to accept that I may need to stop several times throughout a run to attend to my kiddos. For a toddler, I would tuck a sippy and snack next to them in the jogging stroller, and be prepared to pick things up that get dropped on the ground.
Pogo says
Definitely with a toddler be prepared to stop and help with anything. And to attend to all needs like your kid’s personal flight attendant. “You’d like to recline to the lay-flat position sir? Glass of champagne? How about a copy of today’s Journal?” – I actually do this little schtick and crack myself up. I have a hard time hearing him so I’m always like “WHATT” and then he’s just yelling “TAKE MY TRASH MOMMY!” Sigh.
Be careful with your gait, with my first I really messed up my hips running almost exclusively with the stroller and not getting my hips/core strong enough first.
AnotherAnon says
This is us with the bike seat! Kiddo is back there “I’m hungry! I’m done with my orange peel! Hey look at that dog!” and I’m all “WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU KIDDO” half trying to listen for emergencies half enjoying a few minutes with my own thoughts.
katy says
obviously not when you are going downhill… but if you are flat / slight uphill, i found it helpful to push / or rest my hands on the handles as opposed to the death drip. My first couple of runs i felt like my shoulders were so tight afterwards.
have fun and expect to stop a lot – though it doesn’t sound like you are trying to do a serious marathon training or anything.
Anonymous says
What is everyone doing over the holiday weekend? It’s going to be cold and dreary here and we don’t even have any snow on the ground, so we’re probably going to be inside most of the time.
Anonymous says
We are going to try playing Sushi Go on line with family.
Anonymous says
Fun! I thought we might break out Candyland. I’m not sure my almost 3 year old is ready for it, but we’ll see.
Io says
Candyland is the worst. It’s just color matching so a 3 yo can handle it. At that age we liked Roll n Play (works for maybe 18 months +), Race to the Treasure, the easiest Tiny Polka Dot game (it’s my standard 3yo birthday gift), and Stack-Up (good for 2yos, cooperative, teaches hand-eye coordination, colors and using a spinner).
Yeti in my Spaghetti and Sneaky Snacky Squirrel are good too!
Mary Moo Cow says
We have a version of candy land that I picked up for $7 at a grocery store that I enjoy. From what others have said about the game, I’m guessing I have a streamlined version.
Anon says
My 3 YO struggles with candyland. She doesn’t quite grasp turns or that we have to go to the “next” color (vs. 3 steps ahead or sometimes backwards) and really just wants to rifle through the deck for the candy pictures. We have had slightly more success with chutes and ladders and sneaky snacky squirrels, maybe because of the spinner (although even then she likes to spin multiple times or move the spinner after it stops). Hi Ho Cherry O is next on the list to try. For my type A rule-based personality, I constantly have to remind myself that’s she’s having fun “playing” her way and it doesn’t *have* to be by the rules at this age.
AnotherAnon says
My almost 4 year old (boy) received Candyland for Christmas and struggled with everything you mentioned. I’m a “rule follower”, but I found playing Candyland with him a low stakes way to gently practice following rules. We practice taking turns and deal with not always getting what you want (he’s an only). I will say we played about five games before he seemed to “get it.” I didn’t shame or make a big deal out of it: just “ok now it’s your turn. No, only take one card, the top card.” He would say stuff like “I really want the ice cream!” and I would simply respond with “Yes! I hope you get it!” You’re her mom so you obviously know her best, but I’m trying to use it as a learning tool. Maybe I should just chill and pivot to Chutes and Ladders.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Daycare is still open and I have the day off (or at least, with minimal emails) so I’m planning to actually relax and maybe catch up on a show! These are the days I look forward to the most.
Thinking of you all in D.C., I hope nothing further happens.
Leatty says
Kids are going to daycare on Monday, and DH and I plan to tackle some projects around the house. I don’t particularly enjoy going through stuff, but it will be so nice to not be needed by someone else every 5 seconds. I’ll also hop on the peloton for a class and relax a bit. In before times, I’d get a massage or pedicure, but I’m not comfortable doing that now.
anon says
I’m going to FaceTime with my sister tonight, which is much needed. The weather is supposed to be terrible here (it’s currently a blizzard outside and school was canceled today), so no idea how we’re going to keep the kids occupied.
Anon says
Sledding? My Midwest state hasn’t had more than a dusting of snow all winter and I’m so jealous of everyone who’s been able to go sledding.
anon says
If the wind ever quiets down, maybe. As it is, we’re getting gusts up to 50mph, so not a good time for anyone.
Anon says
We actually don’t have the day off this year! Darn!
SC says
Painting our master bathroom, or at least getting half-way. Watching football. Maybe a couple of bike rides.
Anon says
Cleaning and maybe decluttering and trying not to work, but given how this week has gone, likely working at least one morning because I am behind on some deliverables that just aren’t going to get done without some dedicated focus time, which I can usually get on weekend mornings or evenings after kiddo goes to bed.
Anon Lawyer says
We’re bundling up and going to look at farm animals. There’s some goats nearby and I got recommendations for cows and alpacas. I can’t take our house/block/park anymore.
Birthdays in the time of covid says
My kinder girl has started brainstorming what she wants to do for her birthday party this year. We are in Texas, so outdoors is still on the table. A couple girls in her class have invited just the girls to a playground for a play date, for example. All wore masks and it was the same group they’re exposed to at school so seemed reasonable (usually only around 6 end up going).
Any ideas for something fun we could do outside? I was thinking of doing an outdoor movie on a projector but then thought that could be a little aggressive for kinder? What do y’all think? And yes, would love other thoughts too!
TheElms says
Do you have a fence or a wall that you could use to do a big painting project outside? I’ve seen some fun looking ones where you tape off shapes on cardboard with painters tape and then paint the non-taped parts, remove the tape, and it actually makes a pretty cool art piece.
OP says
Ooh I love this because she’s very arty! I bet we could even set this up at a park. Will run past her.
Anonymous says
I think you should rent a bounce house for your family and one friend to enjoy because there is a plague on.
Anon says
+1 sorry, but I agree. No one in my area is doing large birthday parties right now and if someone invited me to a birthday party with more than a couple kids in attendance I would assume they’re totally ignoring Covid and wouldn’t let my kid attend.
OP says
She’s the fourth birthday in the class and the other three girls invited the girls to an outdoor party, so I’m assuming they will attend. I also think she’s expecting something for that reason. The girls have done really well at wearing masks at the others and parents all wear masks the whole time too so there’s good precedent here. They play on the playground at school with the exact same girls plus the boys?
Anonymous says
I mean, I don’t think it’s super high risk but it is an additional risk beyond school especially if you’ll be serving food and people will be removing their masks to eat. Even if the risk were the same, school is essential, birthday parties are not. More people are dying every day than died on 9/11. Your kid can go without a birthday party one year.
Anonanonanon says
Right, but the parents aren’t normally directly exposed to each other. Right now, if a parent of a kid in your kid’s class has COVID, you are the contact of a contact of a contact. If you all stand around maskless eating cake and drinking punch, you’re contacts.
Do you, but the “our kids play together during the day” argument that gets used so much is not strong.
Anon says
Your kids are exposed to each other, but there is a mountain of evidence that little kids don’t spread Covid as well as adults. The parents are not already exposed to the other parents and kids. A friend actually got Covid from an outdoor birthday party because an essential worker parent was sick and didn’t know it yet (patient zero developed symptoms the day after the party). Patient zero’s kid never tested positive and no classmates who weren’t at the party got sick. Also, this has nothing to do with the pandemic, but single sex birthday parties in kindergarten is just gross to me. Boys and girls play together at that age.
Katala says
Yep. An invitation to a bday party at a gymnastics place (!) was sent home to all the kids in my 4-year-old’s daycare class (!!). It especially stung because his bday is this week and we’re doing a party at home with just the 4 of us. It really makes me question the judgment of that family. Also whether we should really have him at this daycare if the families have such disregard for COVID risk. But, also Texas, so not sure anywhere else would be better.
Redux says
Same, it is so unsettling to know that the other families in our school/daycare community are not being careful.
Anon says
Sorry but also agree. Covid deaths are the highest they’ve ever been. Seriously think about your community. My daughter didn’t get to have a party this month because of it (also it’s cold where we are so outside isn’t an option ) but she understood. We made it special in other ways.
Redux says
Agree. Other people’s poor choices do not justify yours, OP. This is an extraordinary year. Please do your part– we’re almost there!
Anne says
Why mess with what works? The park party we went to this summer was lovely. I’d suggest serving cake pops and juice boxes or something else that’s easy to just pull down a mask and eat and pull the mask back up to make sure cake time doesn’t become unmask for the rest of the party time.
OP says
Yeah good point. We might do that. The girls are pretty fantastic at masking back up from what I’ve observed since they do it all day at school.
We’ve seen individual rice Krispy treats for early in the day and cupcakes for later. I like cake pops!
Anonymous says
I’m planning a park party on the early summer. I think it depends on your risk tolerance, data on cases and spread and vaccines in your area, time of year, etc.
FWIW, I assume this will be my kid’s second birthday in the pandemic, and I’m over societal expectations that she’s going to be fine, that she can suck it up for a year, etc. She’s suffering and I am willing to have an outdoor party with kids who are already in her cohort.
Anonymous says
Early summer is likely to be very different than now. I don’t think anyone is saying that Covid needs to be eradicated before we can have outdoor meetups, but the timing of this is incredibly tone deaf. We’ve literally never had as many deaths and cases in the US as we do now. This also isn’t her kid’s second pandemic birthday.
Anonymous says
6 months away the situation could look very different!
OP says
Yeah, I guess to that point my kid has a lot of doctors kids in her class – more than half the kids (3 of the 5 kids’) parents will be fully vaccinated at the time of her birthday (that I know of!) And other parents often do drop off! And a parent has never taken off a mask to eat at a party! I just think there’s a lot of specifics to each situation we can’t know.
We already have a big exposure and that’s sending her to school and being forced to stand around outside a gate in a group with a bunch of other masked parents to pick her up every day.
Anonymous says
Exposure at school pickup does not justify additional exposure through parties. It’s the opposite.
Anonymous says
They can still spread the disease after they’re vaccinated.
Anonymous says
School is essential though. Parties are not. The fact that they’re healthcare workers who have access to the vaccine is a weird justification to me – vaccinated people may still be able to spread the virus, and healthcare workers are much more likely than remote office workers to be exposed to Covid. Also not all healthcare workers who are eligible will be vaccinated! There was a county in my state where only 20% of them took the vaccine. Nationally the rate is over half, but nowhere close to 100%.
No one is asking you to cancel your kid’s birthday parties for years, just maybe don’t have a large gathering at the literal apex of the pandemic.
Anonymous says
To me, masked outdoor park parties are not substantially different than the time my daughter spends with her friends on the school playground, so I am completely OK with that. Adding a bunch of food, activities and other birthday trappings starts to feel more like I’m bending the rules even though really, I don’t think the risk is significantly different.
My daughter’s birthday is this month and we’re just doing a playground meetup. That is all my son got for his Spring birthday, too, and since he was just crying the other day about how he never gets nice things and didn’t even get a birthday party this year, it was especially important to me not to have a double standard.
PP says
Yup, kid is just excitedly planning her small Covid party, and she’s going to be crushed. She told me that of course it can’t be inside so she’s hoping the weather is good. They talk so much about the virus at school that she was planning out what food would be good to serve that’s individually wrapped and what would allow for fun play while “social aparting” – the kids are going to save us all.
Anonymous says
Aw that’s so sweet and sad.
Anon says
+1. We do occasionally get together with friends at a playground with no food (even water, that’s in the car) and everyone keeps masks on all the time and the adults stand apart. I think a birthday gathering to play rather than a “party” could be a middle ground. Send the treats home in a goody bag.
Anonymous says
I would do a Zoom party with a scavenger hunt–kids and adults seem to love these. You could drop off cupcakes and party hats at the other girls’ houses in advance.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Is the party in the next few months? I’m sorry to pile on, OP, but I agree that I wouldn’t plan for anything like that now. Full disclosure that we attended two birthday parties last August when rates were lower here, and we were able to do them outside, but there’s no way I would now (we’re in Boston so outdoor is not an option anyway). We’re not expecting to be able to do anything for our kid’s April birthday. Can you tell her that you can instead have a big half birthday celebration in the summer, when things will hopefully be a lot better? She will be ok to not have a birthday party, truly.
Mrs. Jones says
+1. I wouldn’t even consider planning or attending a birthday party until at least summer.
Pogo says
Yeah, I also hate to be a huge downer but even last summer in August we just did the “drive by” type of party. One friend who is close enough to walk waved at us from across the street. My kiddo is younger, so he was totally thrilled with it – we had a sign, balloons and then just our family for presents and cake.
It’s so hard. I get it. Everyone is starting to bend the rules and I get tempted, too. But I wouldn’t plan a party right now.
Anonymous says
We also went to outdoor parties over the summer but wouldn’t consider it now. I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed about – the Covid situation was very different in August than it is now. We had originally hoped to rent an ice rink and invite my kids’ classmates to skate w/masks on for her February birthday but that’s clearly out now. Hoping for 2022 I guess (although also kinda pessimistic that Covid will become seasonal and we’ll need to follow social distancing every winter).
Anonymous says
Okay, I’m not going to weigh on whether you should do nothing, as I think you have gotten plenty of input there, but wanted to share a couple ideas for risk reduction if you do decide to go forward. The common theme is create a place for each kid to eat separately so that they are distanced when they remove their masks, and minimize adult presence. A friend of mine did an outdoor “drive in” movie for her twins. I think they just invited one other kid each time, but did it 2 or 3 times. Each kid had a cardboard box decorated like a car to sit in – you can place the boxes to ensure social distancing. They have to sit while they are eating. Movie was projected on a sheet on the outside of her house or garage. They ate popcorn and movie snacks I think. My son’s friend had a small (3 guests) outdoor party at the park over the summer. He’s a little older (8) but parents were encouraged to drop off rather than staying, which cuts down on adult transmission risk. I think the main activity was a scavenger hunt. For the cake/eating part, each kid sat on their own blanket, which were spaced out to ensure social distancing. Otherwise, they kept masks on.
As an aside – my son’s school doesn’t do recess at all right now because social distancing can’t be enforced. Kids eat at their desks, 6 feet apart. He hates it because all the fun parts of school have been eliminated. Please vaccine, hurry up!!
TheElms says
Awesome folks on this site, I need help, I recently got a peloton and am still having a lot of trouble clipping in. I’ve watched the video and I understand that I need to hook the cleet at the front and then stamp down through my heal to catch the back of the cleat on the back clip part of the pedal. But I use all my weight and force to the point it feels like I will fly off the bike on that side and its still not clicking in. I tried loosening the tension on the clips as well. They are still almost so tight that I can barely move them with my hands even after loosening them (but in truth my hands don’t have a lot of strength since having a kid so that might not be the best metric). Is there an alignment issue left to right? Or do I perhaps need to adjust where the cleat is on the shoe? Any suggestions for me?
Anonymous says
It sounds like it might be an alignment issue. Can you change the angle of your shoe a bit? It does take pressure but shouldn’t need more than you just stepping down into it at the bottom of the rotation with your weight on it.
Peloton user says
It definitely sounds like there’s an issue, but just wanted to add fwiw that I leave my shoes clipped in all the time. I have a bad knee and don’t enjoy the twisting motion that clipping in and out requires!
Pogo says
The kind of clips that the peloton comes with by default (delta, I just googled, I don’t have one but I ride a road bike) are much harder to me than SPD clips. I would contact customer service and if they can’t help you, it is possible you really don’t have the strength and SPD clips would be better. You’d just have to buy different pedals (and change the clip on your shoe).
TheElms says
I sort of bounced up and down on the pedals and wiggled my feet around while on a call not thinking about it and I think I managed to clip both shoes in! Yay! Bad news is I have no idea what I did, but I left the shoes clipped in, so there’s that. So it sounds like it was an alignment issue. I may never clip out.
Spirograph says
I had a lot of trouble with it at first, too, but it got easier over time. I find that I don’t need to do as much twisting to clip in as the instructions say. I more try to make sure the front catches, and then lean hard on my heel while bouncing or wiggling my foot a little they way you just described. Sometimes it takes a couple tries, but not more than 10 seconds or so. I do need to twist pretty aggressively to clip out though… I hadn’t thought of just leaving my shoes on the pedals!
Anonymous says
I’m finally working on hiring some help at home. Cleaning, some meal prep, and errands (mainly grocery pick up). What questions should I ask during the interview process? I already have logistics like schedules and asked about covid precautions (waiting to hear back). Other things I’m not thinking about? This is my first time hiring someone like this. I’ve already indicated that pay needs to be on the books. Thanks!
Anonymous says
I just called a cleaning service. My only question was when can you come and how much do you charge.
Anonymous says
I agree a cleaning service is the easiest solution if you just want house cleaning. That’s what we have too. But if you want someone to meal prep and grocery shop for you, you probably need to find an individual person. At least in my area there are no services that offer those additional things.
OP, you should call your insurance company and ask about potential liability and whether you need to carry extra insurance to cover this household employee. You may need to purchase worker’s comp or something so you won’t be on the hook if they get injured while on the clock.
Anonymous says
Yeah I think it doesn’t make sense to try and hire one person for all of this.
OP says
Genuinely, why not? It all feels like housekeeping/home assistant work to me.
Anonymous says
If you hired an individual person, it could be. A cleaning service just cleans according to its own formula and standards, and doesn’t take much direction from you.
Anon says
I looked at this and I couldn’t stomach paying worker’s comp and a payroll company for what would essentially be a part time employee (DH and I are both lawyers, so definitely by the book and risk averse) at 10 hours a week at $20-25 an hour (well over the threshold). As an introvert I’m not thrilled about managing an employee – I have to manage all day at work already. Fulltime nanny, sure, worth the added headache and stress, but DH and I talked about it and agreed to try to meet the need another way. I have been calling cleaning companies (smaller, locally owned) that are willing to be flexible on things like laundry and cleaning frequency (considering 2x a week) and commit to giving us the same person weekly (one even offered to include meal prep). We also do weekly grocery delivery, meal kits every other week to spice things up and signed up with Freshly to have prepared meals delivered on the non-meal kit weeks. We’re going to try that and see if it gets me to where I need to be.
Realist says
Yeah, I really wanted a household manager at some point, but the only way it made financial sense was to go in with another family or two. Then we could split the costs of payroll and have a full time employee with each family getting 15ish hours a week.
Kate says
Moms- I usually post on the other site but wanted your advice. In the next couple months, I will meet my boyfriend’s daughter’s mom. Daughter is elementary age. Mom may know he has a gf but we haven’t met. We don’t live together and with Covid we have spaced out visits so his daughter doesn’t get exposed. I am about five years younger than her (I’m 33), he’s 45.
Is there anything I can do to help make this intro and transition comfortable for everyone? Anything to avoid? BF isn’t worried but I have had friends in both places have really tough situations. I’m sure this has come up before but am not a regular on the mom’s page, please feel free to link me elsewhere!
Anonymous says
I think a big part of how you interact depends on why you are interacting.
Anonymous says
Your BF can best tell you what to expect from her, since he knows her best. Unfortunately, for many people this will depend on whether kid’s mom has moved on herself. When my ex-H met my BF, he was frankly a jerk, and asked him a list of questions like if he smokes and uses drugs and if he has any criminal convictions (which is rich, given that I’m a prosecutor, as my ex-H very well knows). I’m very proud of my BF for taking it in stride and being polite and respectful in response. When/if my ex gets a GF, I plan to be nice and not repeat that whole fiasco, because I don’t see how it is helpful.
Anonymous says
What’s the context? If you’ll just be introduced to her at an event or something, I don’t think you need to do much beyond being polite and exchanging pleasantries like you would with any stranger. If the meeting is expressly for you guys to meet and talk, then that’s different but I think that’s kind of weird when you haven’t even met his daughter. If you are planning an in-depth discussion, I think the most important thing you can do is convey that while you hope to eventually be an important person in their daughter’s life, you understand you’re not her mom and will leave it to the two of them to be her parents and work out any parenting issues between themselves without your involvement. Whether or not she likes you is honestly probably out of your control and depends on so many variables like how long they’ve been divorced, what the divorce was like, whether she’s dating anyone, etc. so don’t bet yourself up if she doesn’t seem to like you.
Anonymous says
A lot of divorced parents require that the other parent meet any new partners before the child does. It’s a common provision in divorce agreements.
Anonymous says
I don’t think the age thing matters. She wouldn’t be weirded out by that unless you were like 20 or something.
Aim for a meeting a new co-worker vibe. Politely friendly but not overly invested. Prep a couple positive comments about kid so you have something to say if you get nervous about an awkward silence (Susie is great at drawing. I love the snowman picture she made for her Dad). Hopefully you see yourself as another kind adult in the child’s life (like how my sister or BFF cares for my kids) vs. another mom. Moms tend to be sensitive to anyone giving off ‘replacement mom’ vibes and it doesn’t seem like you have that view.
Know that if she’s awkward or crazy, that’s not on you. You can only control you.
Clementine says
General advice from somebody who deals with a lot of uncomfortable situations where I’m parenting other people’s children (foster parent here) and having to meet those parents:
– Don’t go in assuming it will go poorly.
– Don’t take offhand comments personally. There’s a good chance any negativity will be 0% about you and mores about the baggage/situation.
– Redirect to positive comments about the kid. When in doubt, say something nice about their kid.
– Get ready to smile and nod a lot.
– When in doubt, always be polite and gracious.
Redux says
Oh man, Clementine, this is good LIFE advice.
Anonymous says
+ a million
Anonymous says
Hello DC-area moms. We’re currently in a small apartment with a 2 year old, and we’re starting to look around for a bigger place. We’re in downtown DC now and would like to find a walkable area near a Red Line stop (we both work near Union Station, so we’d also be open to VRE/MARC if y’all have had good experiences commuting with that). We’d also like OK-to-good schools and up to $900k for 3-4 bedrooms. Any suggestions? Thank you!
Anonymous says
Which side of the redline? What first comes to mind for me is Takoma Park but I’m not sure how the schools are. Also twinbrook neighborhood or somewhere in Rockville.
Anonymous says
Just reread. Yes if you’re near union station I would definitely recommend Takoma Park. It’s VERY crunchy/liberal, but I lived there for 3 years and loved it. Definitely in your budget.
Anonymous says
I lived Tacky Park (as my cousin there called it). Would be so much better for Union Station than anywhere on VRE.
TheElms says
What about Kensington – walkable to the MARC. In the before times I had a lot of friends that did MARC to downtown and it seemed to work well for them.
TheElms says
Shepherd Park in NW DC would also probably fit budget wise and the elementary school is good. Its currently zoned for Deal and Wilson too, but I think that is likely to change. It would be a long walk to the metro, but there may be bus options both to the metro and downtown that would be worth looking into.
Anonanonanon says
I’ve been looking in the Wilson feeder for months and do not think you could find anything for $900K that doesn’t require extensive work (because that’s what I’ve been aiming for) BUT I have 2 kids who are opposite genders and very far apart in age, so we’re looking at 3 bedrooms. Might have more luck if you’ll take 2, I think I’ve seen a few I had to click past with a heavy heart for that reason.
I wish we could look at more areas but, again, with kids very far apart in age we have to take into account elementary, middle, and high school quality and cannot afford to be in the district and pay DC private school tuition
TheElms says
You are right that inventory is scarce, but this sold 6 months ago.
https://www.redfin.com/DC/Washington/1422-Roxanna-Rd-NW-20012/home/10021605
And friends bought about 9 months ago for around 800k. House is in good condition; needs updates but they have been living in it without doing any work.
Anonymous says
Kensington is a good idea (I live north of it). You could def get a nice house, maybe not huge but a good size, within walking distance of the Marc station
anon says
If you wanted to stay close, you could look at a place on the Hill zoned for Ludlow Taylor or JO Wilson.
Anonymous says
The three I’m most familiar with are Kensington, Silver Spring and Takoma Park. Kensington is pretty white, if diversity is of interest to you. It’s lovely, but especially the neighborhoods near the Metro and the MARC feel very white suburbia to me. I have friends who live in and love Garrett Park for MARC commutes.
I’ve lived in and around downtown Silver Spring for about 10 years and really like it. There are some nice neighborhoods with single family homes walkable to the Metro/MARC station, as well as newer townhome developments. (Ellsworth Heights condos are beautiful, across the street from a playground, and a block from downtown.) Silver Spring has big immigrant communities – primarily Central American and Ethiopian – and feels more urban & commercial to me.
Takoma Park is crunchy. If you have progressive political views, like farm-to-table organic food, yoga, and old-timey Main Street vibe with only independent, small-business establishments, you will fit right in. (Downtown Kensington has a bit of that feel, too, but less bohemian/hippie)
Anonanonanon says
There is a townhome for sale for 750K within a .5 mile walk to MARC and the metro in downtown silverspring in a 7/10 elementary school, for reference. Not that I’m looking at that instead of work.
Anonymous says
It’s Friday afternoon, you don’t even need to justify it anymore. :)
Anonymous says
I lived in Silver Spring as a kid in the 70s, and it sounds like Takoma Park has not changed in almost 40 years.
Anonymous says
Just more expensive haha. But yeh you still can’t cut down a tree without planting a new one and people dance at the bus stop during winter solstice.
anon in DC says
Check out Brightwood, Manor Park, and Takoma DC. We live here and love it. The Metro is short walk away, and Whittier Elementary is an excellent DCPS choice.
DLC says
All – I need your favorite ideas of games/ activities to play in the backyard. Our 15 month old had a positive COVID test so we are stuck at home for the next two weeks. Thank goodness we have a backyard, but i’m running out of ideas of how to occupy the kids for at least an hour out there every day. The kids are 8, 3, and 15 months. I guess it’s the 8 year old I need to motivate to stay outside. She can play on a playground for hours, but the backyard is a little less inspiring. We have a soccer ball and frisbees but that’s about it, and am resisting ordering more stuff given the slow delivery times these days. Sometimes I just let her bring a book and sit outside and read, but I need her to be a little more active since she spends the rest of the day on the computer.
(A mini vent- We are a little mystified about the test results – the baby had a slight fever which is why we all got tested, but the rest of the family tested negative and no one has any symptoms. She doesn’t go to daycare, my other kids are distance learning at home with my unemployed self. The kids’ only outing is to parks and playgrounds, the older ones are always masked… Husband works two days in the office, but he has tested negative twice since the Baby got sick… we do occasional grocery or take out pick ups but, again, always with precautions….I mean there is always risk, but given the negative results of the rest of us, the whole thing is bewildering and worrisome in its mystery. Argh!)
Anonymous says
Is it a false positive? Can you get her tested again?
anon says
Even with a second negative test, they should quarantine. It’s unfortunate, but a negative test wouldn’t prove the baby doesn’t have COVID.
Anonymous says
Very good point. Thank you. I’m the type of person that the wondering about it would drive me nuts.
Anonymous says
Never mind – I misread and thought the 8 yo had the positive test, not the baby. I would not get the baby retested.
DLC says
It is indeed driving us nuts. We were told that false positives are actually very rare. So safest just to quarantine and then re-test at the end.
On the bright side the contact tracer we spoke to was very nice….
anon says
For Christmas we got my 7 yo a tool kid with real adult tools including a saw, hammer and electric screwdriver. She’s been crazy busy building stuff out of sticks, cardboard and scrap wood. If you have any tools, you might pull them out for your 8 yo.
Anonymous says
If it’s been 5 days since baby’s positive test, I would get everyone tested again. That should pick up any tests that were done too soon before or give baby a negative result which would indicate the first was a false positive. Was it a PCR test for baby’s result? The others have marginal reliability at best.
anonamama says
bless you, for taking your little one for a covid test! I am sure that was not fun.
rakma says
My 7yo has been really into forts outside. I let her use the patio furniture, cushions, sometimes we’ll bring out a blanket. It’s not movement like running around, but she is lifting and carrying things, and it usually turns into some imaginative play with the 4yo as well.
Anon says
OP, if you have a Lakeshore Learning near you (to avoid online shipping as mentioned) we have two sets of these to also help make forts: https://www.lakeshorelearning.com/products/ca/p/HH938/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=PLA&CATARGETID=520011010000098489&CADevice=c&gclid=CjwKCAiAl4WABhAJEiwATUnEF-MN4hsNXlrz6Ls2fnDqGgHVXj-YhrQdC9UDpC5bN_jb2EWk8Crc6BoCFH0QAvD_BwE
Our other outdoor pandemic purchases this year have been a tetherball (thanks to this site for the rec!) and ladder golf, but you’ll need someone to play those with the 8 year old.
Pogo says
To your vent – my nephew had a positive test and no one else in his family ever tested positive. They were all certainly eating and talking around each other without masks in the incubation period before he got a fever (which is why he was tested). So it happens. They managed to isolate him after the fever and they all masked, but he is also much older than 15 months. Hugs to you.
DLC says
Thanks all! Creative/ creating play might indeed be a good way to go.
Yes, we did PCR test. The baby was surprisingly unphased by the nasal swab. The contact tracer made a joke along the lines of “I guess you can’t isolate the fifteen month old by herself…” and then went on to suggest that I might isolate with her. And I kind of decided that probably wasn’t the right solution for our family, much as I want a break from everyone these days…
washer/dryer says
Any favorite washer/dryer sets out there? I’m in the market for top load electric. We won’t be stacking. I know an agitator is thought to be the most effective but is it incrementally really that much better? I have kids but we’re not rolling around in the mud like pigs or anything. I’ve had both and never really noticed a difference. I had an LG set for a hot second at my old house before we sold it and didn’t take them with us (mistake!). Didn’t own them long enough to log any complaints but they seemed fine.
Family of four, two young kids. TIA!
avocado says
We’ve had an LG top-load HE washer and matching dryer for around 5 years because they were literally the only HE machines on the market that would fit in our laundry closet. Apparently washers keep getting bigger every year, because we didn’t have that issue with the first set.
Something I did not know before purchasing is that manufacturers of top-load HE machines do not recommend washing waterproof items–kid mattress pads, rugs with nonskid backings, outdoor gear, etc. We wash this stuff anyway with a low-speed spin cycle and have not had problems. We do sometimes run into balance issues when washing heavy stuff like blankets, even when the load contains enough to be balanced.
The wash cycle is incredibly long, so we have to combine family loads if we want to make it through all the wash on Saturday. If we made our teenager do her own wash, we’d lose half of Sunday too. The dryer is much faster than the washer, even on low heat. The tub is so deep that at 5’6″, I have to stand on tiptoe and lean halfway into the machine to reach the bottom. I joke that one day I will fall in and get stuck. My daughter literally couldn’t get things out of the bottom of the washer until ninth grade, which could be a huge issue for Montessori families.
The washer gets things clean enough, and we don’t have the issue of random black stains that used to appear with our old front-load washer (they seemed to be grease from the machine, not mildew from the door). I have some concerns about reliability and don’t think this pair will last as long as the previous set, but I think those concerns are common to all newer appliances. They just don’t make ’em the way they used to.
A silly thing I find annoying is that the washer and dryer play the same tune when they are done. Why don’t they have different songs so you know which it is?
Anonymous says
So this is more like an anti-recommendation. I used a relative’s Samsung top load no agitator a while back and was really unimpressed with how wet the clothes were when they came out. My LG front load spins the heck out of them (which some people might hate, but we’ve never had problems with it). As someone who air dries a big chunk of clothes, this really annoyed me. I’ve never seen clothes that wet after washing.
FVNC says
We have had awful luck with a variety of Samsung appliances (as opposed to devices). We owned a W&D set in a previous home, then rented a home with a Samsung fridge and range. Terrible experience with every single one.
To answer OP – about ~7 months ago we bought the most basic model of LG toploader w/o agitator and dryer we could find, and have been very happy. Ours has a load-size sensor so smaller loads take very little time.
Anonymous says
Might be too late for anyone to see, but another -1 to Samsung appliances and large electronics. I’ve had a fridge and smart TV that I haven’t been impressed with
Anon says
As the owner of the samsung top loader below, I am going to guess it was a load balancing issue. I’ve gotten loads like that and sometimes just need to manually rebalance and do an extra spin cycle and they come out a normal level of dry. It is very disconcerting though to pull out clothes that are unusually wet though!
Anon says
I love our speed queen!
Anonymous says
Not OP but do you have the front load or top load? I’ve heard a lot of good things about speed queens but the top loader wouldn’t fit well in our space.
Anon says
I have a top load samsung, no agitator. My child does roll around in the mud like a pig (pigs are probably cleaner!).
I just always set the soil level to “heavy” per a tip from another mom and have had no issues with cleaning and I like the lack of agitator because it’s gentler on my clothes. We do sometimes have balancing issues when washing uneven loads (e.g., bathroom rugs, or the sheets get tangled unevenly or all the jeans end up on one side), but I just manually rebalance and it sorts itself out. Our laundry closet is too shallow for a front load to fit, and I hate having to leave the door open on front loaders and sticking out in the hallway (past homes) to avoid mold (I still usually leave the lid open on the top but because everything drains down it’s less of an issue). Couple of things:
If you can, try it in store. The larger models are really deep, which is compounded in our house by being on a ledge. I am tall and can reach the bottom, but my mother needs a step stool. I could not reach the bottom when pregnant.
Check the cycles. Per the waterproof comment above, ours has a “waterproof” cycle, which has allowed me to wash repeatedly things like the waterproof mattress pads (even on a king bed, because kiddo sleeps with us at some point every night (sigh, different problem)).
Ours has a quick wash cycle which fills the tub like an old style washer and allows you to quickly wash things if needed (with kiddo sometimes I need to get something washed quickly). Otherwise, it takes forever to wash things, even compared to a newish front load.