This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I love this double-duty sweatshirt. When it is open, it looks like a regular “waterfall” cardigan. However, it has a button at the shoulder/neck area that fastens it closed. I really love the look of it when buttoned — it becomes almost structural looking. For me personally, this weather we are having in the northeast (cold, wet, windy, cloudy) has chilled me to the bone. Even when the heat is going, if I am not wearing a hoodie my exposed neck in regular shirts makes me want to put on a scarf. This sweatshirt looks like a more stylish alternative to wearing a hoodie or an indoor scarf, and can pass for nicer clothes on a Skype or Zoom call. It is $35 on sale at Old Navy — and when you add it to your cart, it comes down to $26. Lightweight French Terry Open-Front Sweatshirt
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Wearing a very similar cardigan right now (and most of this week) from Lululemon. I love it. It’s slightly too casual for my business casual workplace, but I’ve worn it a few Fridays. Perfect for around the house, running errands, etc. I do think mine is a big thicker than the one pictured, and it’s maroon. Huge pockets.
Pogo says
Same, I have one from Athleta very similar in 2 colors. It has magnetic closures at the shoulders, and it’s much longer than the one featured – more like a robe, with two pockets (which I love).
Anonymous says
I have this in two colors. I wear them a ton around the house, but I’m not sure I’d wear them out of the house unless as another layer after a work out.
Anon says
hows the quality of this?
9:35 Anon says
The material and seams are fine. Especially when compared to the price of the Athleta one. The fabric is light – I think it is meant to be a summer material. Maybe I got a size too big, but it just feels kind of sloppy. The shoulders fit right, but the material at my hips is not flattering. But it gets the job done for WFH or whatever. It would be AWESOME for nursing. I’d wear it out of the house for that with the buttons done at the top to slip kiddo under out in public and just not care as much about feeling flattered.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
I have a similar one from Nordstrom. I think it’s a little too casual for actual business casual but I keep it in my office to wear when I get cold. The Nordstrom version has a button at the top to keep it together which it critical to me. I HATE cardigans/jackets that don’t have a closure.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Today I’m angry and bitter. Angry that those of us with two working parents and small kids who are now at home now have to try to work while watching kids while those, particularly in senior leadership, have someone else in the home do this so don’t get it. Angry that it was maybe held against my husband for taking time to take care of the kids and losing his job. Angry that he now has to look for new work in a pandemic and recession. Angry that this lack of childcare situation will end up hurting working parents, particularly moms, at work despite this situation being completely out of our control. Bitter that my kids are home all the time now, making messes and loud noises, and we just have to clean it up and deal with it, and discipline them while also being aware of how stressful this all is for everyone so trying to be compassionate to them. Bitter that everything we’ve done to set ourselves up for success was just taken away with no childcare, precarious jobs and uncertainty about who from the outside we can bring in. Bitter that this year didn’t turn out the way we expected at all. Bitter that we can’t take the time to grieve this huge loss because while it’s not the same as a loss of someone, it’s still grief over the loss of the life we expected and enjoyed.
After today, I’m taking the next few days off work so hopefully I can take some time to restore some peace. Thank for listening to my rant.
Pogo says
I hear all of this so much, particularly about your husband stepping up to be an equal partner and possibly facing backlash for it. Without getting into details, facing something along those lines w/ DH’s work and it is making me really upset.
drpepperesq says
wow, a lot of this i’ve been burying down deep; thank you for giving it a name. you’re not alone in these feelings!!
Anonymous says
Hugs to you. I’m really surprised to hear this out of you, and you’re always looking for the positive. You must be feeling very badly, and I am so sorry. It is definitely okay to grieve. But it is hard right now because there is just no time to grieve. Take care of yourself. Hopefully writing this post and getting it off your chest helped some!
Cb says
Ugh, I am so so sorry. This is just a crappy situation all around. I think a few days off is a wonderful idea, it won’t fix anything but can help you find your center in this really tough time.
anne-on says
Hard agree. DH and I both work in ‘time hungry’ industries as they’ve been called, and this is really, really hard. We have a live in au pair to cover my business travel and she is the only reason we’ve been able to (just barely) get in 8-hrs a day. And the surprise/annoyance/push back I’ve gotten when I can’t do a call or step away during her 2-hr midday break is insane to me – it’s 2 hours! I’m offering to do early AM and late PM calls instead! come on people, have some compassion!
I truly do not know how 2 full time working parents with kids (especially younger kids who can’t just be distracted by devices!) are managing. And it makes me rage-y on behalf of women everywhere, it’s the circumstances that led to SO many women I know in their 20’s/30’s leave the workforce because they couldn’t work like they hadn’t had kids (and didn’t want to) writ large. Most of those women didn’t want to leave then, and I’m sure don’t want to step back now but if someone HAS to take care of the kids. I also don’t see camps opening this summer. Summer is it’s own special hell for working parents, and this will be a million times worse – things are open, right? Why aren’t your kids taken care of?!?
Anon4this says
I’m so sorry. This sucks. It really does and I really empathize. I’m so sorry for your husband – he sounds like he is a fantastic partner and just got screwed by the unfair world we live in. I’m in the boat you are rage-y about. I just got 5 glowing reviews and 1 review that falls in the “damning with faint praise” category mostly because as a just returned to work new mom I wasn’t able to be available 24/7. It will basically crush my chances of getting a promotion, likely end my career at my firm (because I’m that senior) and it all comes in the review cycle after I was “forgotten” for my promotion while on maternity leave. I’m frustrated beyond belief. I feel so foolish and naive to think a 2 parent working household in Biglaw was a thing I could do and like I’ve wasted the prior 10 years of my life plus 3 years of law school. And of course my only matter that is busy right now is with the person who gave me the less than stellar review. At this point it probably makes economic sense for me to just quit, let the nanny we hired go, and ensure my DH can focus 150% on his job so he doesn’t get fired.
Anon says
hope that you are just venting and not going to actually quit so rashly! i’m mad at the person who gave you the less than stellar review on your behalf. that sounds ridiculous and unfairly harsh.
avocado says
Right now I am feeling rage at our division director and VP. Despite the fact that our stay-at-home order directs professional services firms to have employees work remotely to the maximum extent possible, and the fact that literally no one other than our facilties manager actually needs to be in the building, both our director and our VP are regularly joining video meetings from their offices. I don’t know why they are going in the office, as both are women with SAH husbands and zero responsibility for child care. Although all requests to WFH through the end of the stay-at-home order have been granted, it’s really a bad look for management to be in the office in defiance of the order. It signals that showing up in the office is still seen as a positive thing, and that there will be massive pressure to return to the office as soon as the order is lifted, even if it’s not safe or practical.
anon says
+1. I would be ragey if I saw my boss from her office.
Anon says
Why though? If no one else is at the office there’s basically no risk. My boss is in the office, and I don’t care so long as he’s not trying to make me come in, which he’s not. He’s a single, older guy and even though I realize that having young children at this time is incredibly challenging, I also think being single and living alone is very challenging. If going into an empty office makes him happier, who am I to take that away from him?
avocado says
All of our senior management is in the office. The message is clearly that face time is valued. My assistant has gotten the message, because he only worked from home for about a week despite my strongly worded suggestions that he continue WFH.
Anonymous says
Ok, maybe your management is pressuring you to come into your office. But I was responding to someone who said “I would be ragey if I saw my boss from her office.” and “rage” just seems like a very strong reaction to your boss doing something that doesn’t affect you.
anon says
I feel the same and I’m so sorry for you and your husband. I keep obsessing over how this is going to screw my credibility in the office because I’m not “available” and keep passing work to others. I’m frustrated that even though I’m an equity partner I’m one of 4 women equity partners in my midsize firm, and the only one with young children, and that I have no voice. Decisions are made by men whose wives never worked or have kids in college or older. They truly don’t get it. I’m frustrated that we’ve tried to find back up childcare but can’t find more than 10-15 hours per week. I too am so bitter at how this will affect women with families long term on top of a world that’s already always screwing us.
Anonymous says
Hugs to you and to all of us, this is so tough. The thing that’s frustrating me is the expectation that a babysitter is some kind of magic bullet for productivity. My home office isn’t soundproof! I can hear the chaos going on on the other side of my door, and increasingly, the crying, the tantrums, my husband snapping at the kids. I’m sure my kids cry and throw fits at daycare, too, but I don’t have to hear it. It is incredibly distracting. And that’s not even counting the times that the kids just come barging in for [pick a reason].
Anonymous says
re: babysitter isn’t the magic bullet. Yes! I have a sitter coming in every day for six hours a day, but my twins are almost five and I don’t have a huge house. I can hear them chattering, or giving the sitter a hard time, so it is difficult to focus in the same way. If one of them needs a bandaid, they want to come downstairs for me to do it. It is not the same as sending them to pre k.
IHeartBacon says
+1 about just having my son around is so distracting. I’m just not able to focus on work while he’s awake. If he’s watching tv, I’m worried about that, if my husband is feeding him an unhealthy lunch I’m worried about that, if he’s quiet I’m worried about that, if he’s inside I worry that he’s not getting enough time outside, etc, etc, etc. When I get distracted by these thoughts, I remind myself that this is just temporary and we’re in survival mode, but then I remember that we’re going on week 6 now, which is a lot of time to be neglecting a kid, etc, etc, etc. Then when I manage to push all of these thoughts out of my mind to get back to writing sentence 1 of my email, my kid is hungry, or he’s jumping on the cough, or throwing toys at the glass French doors, or he fell and he ONLY WANTS MOMMY etc, etc etc. Rinse; repeat.
GCA says
Ugh. I am so sorry. I would also be so, so furious. And I am right there with you. DH has now TWICE graduated directly into a recession; the first time was 2008-9. It was bad then, it is worse now. I’ve gone back and forth through all the stages of grief about this, and it is indeed grief.
Companies and managers: do you really, truly support women in the workforce? Then *don’t freaking penalize fathers* for taking on their equal share of care work. (Honestly, if I was a labor economist studying gender issues I would probably just be angry all the time.)
Seen in a social media post: “The economy isn’t ‘closed’. Everyone is working diligently homemaking, cooking meals, and taking care of their loved ones. It’s just not valued by economists because it’s normally women’s unpaid labor. Have a great day at work everyone.” (No lie.)
Pogo says
“Then *don’t freaking penalize fathers* for taking on their equal share of care work.” AMEN.
Realist says
Yup.
Anon says
“It’s just not valued by economists because it’s normally women’s unpaid labor.”
Nonsense. It’s not valued by economists because no one outside your house would normally pay money for it.
Realist says
Nonsense. Nannies, cooks, chauffeurs, therapists, teachers and “gardening” workers all make money for their services. You are either a male troll or need to work on your internalized misogyny.
Anonymous says
LOL I think you mean gardening not “gardening.” But I agree!
octagon says
I feel this so much. I was sharing a friend’s troubles with another friend, who is childless, and she said, “well, X should have thought of that before she had 3 kids!” And I lit into her. Yes, she chose to have 3 kids, but she did so under the very rational assumption that she would be able to outsource care when needed and be able to juggle her high-powered job and family. It’s not any of our faults the world has crumbled and exposed that we really need the support systems we have created. If we expect perfection from parents, guess what? People will stop having kids or will drop out of the workforce, neither of which is great for society.
Hugs to you, I hope that your time off is restorative.
Anonymous says
The “you chose to have kids” argument is ridiculous. No, we did not choose to be imprisoned 24/7 with our children with no child care, while being expected to work full-time and be even more productive than usual.
GCA says
Also, having children isn’t like taking up watercolor painting. It’s not a cute hobby. Future generations bring real value to societies and communities in many ways and are what keep economies running.
Anon says
Amen!!
Anonymous says
There was a truly horrible thread along these lines on the main page a few days ago. I just… can’t.
AnonLaywer says
My days of not reading the main site are certainly coming to a middle.
Anonanonanon says
Someone should remind the NYCers on the main site that they “chose” to live there. Or everyone over there upset about nursing homes that they “chose” to put their loved ones there. Or that healthcare workers “chose” their professions.
I CLEARLY DO NOT THINK THAT IS SOUND LOGIC by the way. I’m just saying, maybe if they thought about it in the context of their own lives they’d realize how ridiculous the “you chose this” argument is.
Pogo says
Was coming here to say exactly that! I have a friend who “chose” to live in a condo downtown that is 600sqft for two adults, because he and his wife work 60 hour weeks and travel 50%. They take advantage of the condo building amenities like a roofdeck and gym with Pelotons and the hundreds of trendy bars and restaurants and sports venues and theaters within walking distance. Except oh wait! None of that is true anymore! Now when they both need to take a conference call one of them has to go into a closet.
We all made life choices based on what we knew at the time, not based on living through a global pandemic.
Anon says
Yeah I hate this! We chose to have children but we did not choose to become full-time nannies and preschool teachers while simultaneously trying to work our normal jobs. And we didn’t choose to have kids in a situation in which we can’t leave the house for playdates or library visits or anything. The current situation was absolutely not a choice.
anne-on says
I just about have a rage-stroke any time I see the ‘you chose this’ or ‘if you just did xyz’ (bonus rage for if it is from someone 50+ who throws in a ‘in my day’). No, I cannot parent my child like you did in the 80’s – that social construct and agreement that kids can be alone is GONE. Most mom’s don’t stay at home and so there isn’t a network of women at home (not running around to lessons, sports, etc.) to keep a collective eye on kids.
Yes – I chose to have kids. I did not chose to parent through a pandemic which limits said kids ability for social interaction, physical movement, and education. I did not chose to parent through a pandemic which limits access to cleaners, grocery stores, delivery options, sitters, or family help. You know how people always love to talk about ‘villages’ being essential? Right now we CANNOT access our villages. Ugh.
Spirograph says
Amen.
I’m really sad that people are actually thinking along these lines. As a working parent, I had a lot of backup and contingency plans, and this negated all of them. At no point when DH and I were planning our family did we think, “maybe we shouldn’t have kids, because what will we do if society as we know it completely shuts down and we have to care for them alone at home while still trying to do our jobs for months on end?” And frankly, if we had and we’d told anyone about it, they would have thought we were bananas.
No-Face says
I hope you take time to grieve the loss. I let myself grieve the year that should have happened (I was supposed to make partner!). Then I practiced gratefulness about what I still have. Now, I am trying to accept the uncertainty of the future.
Marshmallow says
I am right there with you. Fortunate that we are both employed but we are really at our wits’ end. I wound up dropping to a four day per week schedule at work because I just couldn’t deal with the constant expectations all day every day. It’s probably not great for my career and I might pay for it but I just could not take it any more. And now I’m mad about how unfair it is that my husband isn’t making career sacrifices, even though he makes less money, because his job is more face time based and needs him on calls all day. I’m just, angry. And angry that I can’t take more advantage of just being happy to spend more time with our daughter and am spending so much energy being frustrated and… angry.
Anonanonanon says
I’m so, so sorry this happened to your family. You have every right to mourn over the loss of the life you envisioned for your family this year. I think this is so hard for older millennials and Gen Xers, we graduated right into the recession job market, where we all felt like we had to be overcome with gratitude for underpaid overworked jobs that we were lucky enough to get with stiff competition from everyone who had been laid off. It felt like the balance was finally tipping back in favor of the worker, with employers having to offer decent salaries and flexibility to compete for employees, and now it feels like we have all been pushed back to the bottom of the hill we had just climbed.
anne-on says
+1 – and while I truly feel for younger millenials/gen-z just entering the workforce, our age group is also now on our 2nd (or 3rd) major recession, and often facing down the balancing of child care AND elder care. Which is it’s own special kind of hell…
avocado says
Yep, this is my third major recession as an adult. Got married during the first, graduated law school during the second.
COVID has ended our elder care responsibilities.
Anonanonanon says
I hear you. I’m getting to the point of needing to have a serious talk with my parents. They moved somewhere to live near the beach which, great for them. And they are wonderful parents and wonderful grandparents and my mother is selfless and deserves to live somewhere warm and sunny. BUT
I have a special needs brother I will end up with when something happens to her. And she has MS so she may need help before then. And while she has set it up so we will get some money to help care for my brother… it’s not a lot. And we don’t get it while she’s alive. And I’d like her to be alive for a long time. If we’re going to be in a position to help them before getting their life insurance, I need them to relocate to where we are and help with the kids so we can save money on childcare etc. and face the possibility that we may need to combine households some day. Selfishly, I’d like for that to happen while they can still be of some help to us before we need to take care of them.
TheElms says
Same – Graduated college in 2005 when the housing bubble was bursting, graduated law school in 2010 when firms were reeling from the financial crisis, up for counsel/ partner in 2020. Go me. Fantastic timing!
Anonanonanon says
Oh gosh I just put two and two together regarding your last line. I’m so sorry.
anon says
We must be about the same age.
And it took me a minute to catch on to your second line. I am really sorry, avocado. :(
avocado says
Thanks, Anonanonanon and anon @ 4:01. MIL passed away of COVID in her long-term care facility, in a state with relatively few infections.
Anon says
I’m sorry, Avacado. My 70-something, otherwise healthy, BIL passed away about two weeks ago. In an area with few infections/deaths. It’s so surreal.
Anonymous says
Avocado – so sorry to hear. And 4:48 Anon, too. Said a prayer for your both. Hugs.
Realist says
Agree. I have all the rage too. For you, for me, for so many women. Hulk levels of rage. Other than leaving daily ragey messages with my lousy Senator’s office and volunteering for campaigns I believe in and leaving weekly messages of gratitude for my other awesome Senator and Congress rep, I am not sure where to take this rage. But I do not feel right in letting go of it. This is all unfair. It is hurting women. I have a right to be very angry and I don’t feel like letting go of it. I want to channel it. So if anyone has any ideas, let me know.
Thank you for sharing your rant.
lsw says
I hear this 100%. I took three days off of work surrounding the weekend (it was my 40th, and I was already bummed about Canceled Everything) and I cannot believe how much it helped. Hang in there.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thank you everyone for the kind responses. I truly appreciate all of your support – I love coming here and know that you all truly get it. I nodded along with all of the responses. And yes, I usually am a pretty positive person! Yesterday and today were really tough. My husband is a great person and I know he’ll find something, I just wish traits like balance and caregiving were valued as much as putting in a bunch of hours or (virtual) facetime.
And yes, I certainly should have thought of a global pandemic where no outside help would be allowed while also having full time work responsibilities when I “chose to have kids”! Of course.
CCLA says
I love this site so much. Grateful to see more concrete words put to all of the rage and grief I’ve been feeling. Thanks BLE and everyone and I hope your days “off” are restorative. Off to schedule some of that for myself, too, what a great idea.
Driveway basketball hoop? says
Since our local basketball courts are closed, I’d like to buy my 7-year-old basketball nut a portable hoop for our driveway. We live in a densely populated suburb and have a very narrow driveway. Can anyone recommend a fairly small but sturdy and movable hoop we can pull out to the end of our driveway and move depending on where our cars need to go? Thanks in advance!
Anonymous says
I have been trying to buy a portable basketball hoop, and all the moderately priced ones are sold out.
Virtual Baby Shower ideas says
Has anyone thrown or participated in a virtual baby shower? Ideas for good games or activities? I have to throw one for a friend who originally wanted to do a co-ed cocktail party, so definitely need to avoid cheesy, no opening gifts, etc…
GCA says
not quite games, but going back to first principles, this was lovely… https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/21/style/self-care/contemporary-baby-shower-guide.html
in the same boat says
pregnant with my first child — this actually sounds horrible to me (instead of a party, people give you advice over zoom, possibly with bonus horror stories?). But trying to figure out some kind of alternative baby shower, so would welcome ideas! games over zoom sound cheezy/terrible, too…
ALC says
I wonder if just a simple happy hour, where people gather on Zoom with a treat of their choice and offer good wishes to the one being showered, would be nice. It could be kept pretty short and sweet. If you wanted to go more cheesy, you could have people make signs that spell out a funny piece of advice or a nice sentiment, and each one hold up a sign with one word on the zoom chat to show it.
in the same boat says
yeah, just a short HH might be best…or maybe we should skip it? I feel like everyone will be tired of zoom soon (we were planning on a shower in the summer, but the OB says I should keep social distancing even if the orders are lifted). Also not sure if it’s a faux pas to register without a shower? ugh.
Spirograph says
These are extenuating circumstances, and I would cut anyone some slack for registering without a shower at the moment. But a quick zoom HH would also be OK. I spend all day on Zoom (I’m on Zoom right now), and as much as I want to talk to friends, I don’t want to be on video any more after work. An hour+ zoom call, even for social reasons, does not sound fun to me.
Quail says
You should definitely make a registry even if you don’t have a shower – worth it for the completion discount. You can make it private if you want (so it won’t show up in internet searches). I did this for my second and it was nice to have something to send folks who asked – because people will ask, and if you don’t have a registry, you’ll inevitably end up getting 12 hooded bath towels or something.
I had a co-ed shower that was really just a get-together with booze and food hosted by my very enthusiastic friend – the invite expressly asked for books, which was great to build a collection. Maybe something directed like that would be less awkward to open over Zoom? But I tend to agree with you that virtual showers – unless hosted by a small group that already know each other – would be too awkward for me.
Anon says
One of my showers was “virtual” in that it was in my hometown (2 hour drive) and I was unexpectedly in the hospital at 36w. Everyone else was in person and I was on video. I think they did fill in the blank nursery rhymes on paper (highest score gets a prize – self-reported), and they played gift bingo as my mother opened the gifts for me (I suspect if all gifts are mailed, the mama to be could just open on video, but sounds like you don’t want to do gifts at all). At another baby shower I went to recently, the host did a true or false trivia game about the mom and dad as babies or small children that I think could be replicated via video and adapts well to a co-ed audience.
Pogo says
I’m participating in one this weekend – they are having people film and send a video for the couple with wishes for baby, memories of them, etc that they are compiling. I think they are doing opening gifts on the Zoom, though.
AnotherAnon says
Are you certain this person wants a virtual baby shower? If yes, my only advice is to try to limit the number of participants to close friends – 8 or fewer people, if possible. Maybe do a 30 minute Zoom where everyone (except the mom, obviously) has a cocktail and toasts the couple? I honestly can’t think of a scenario where this doesn’t turn out incredibly lame, but I’m not big on baby showers.
Anonymous says
+1
Fewer than 10 people is key. You can’t mix and mingle or have side conversations on a zoom meeting the way you could in a “real” social gathering, and big groups get awkward with people starting to talk at the same time, or not talking because they don’t want to talk over someone.
Anon says
There is actually a breakout room feature on Zoom for smaller side conversations. It has to be more intentional than it would be in person though.
Anonanonanon says
I, too, hate games and opening gifts in front of people, and I cannot imagine an enjoyable virtual baby shower, unfortunately. Without games or gifts, it is just a video call of a bunch of people who may not even all know each other.
Anon says
I had a really great virtual shower in non-pandemic times, but everyone knew each other and everyone but me was in the same room (I moved just before getting pregnant and my friends in my old city threw the shower). They mailed me a big package of decorations and non-perishable snacks, and they had the same decorations and snacks and we just sat around catching up and eating the snacks. They had also decorated some onesies and mailed them to me, so I opened those, as well as a group gift they purchased, on camera (I too am not generally a fan of opening gifts in front of people but the group gift aspect made it more enjoyable). It was really low key and really fun, even if it was more of just a friend hangout with presents and food than a traditional “shower.”
Anonymous says
How about a game where the guests who have kids submit the most embarrassing/grossest/hilarious thing that ever happened to them in parenting and then guest of honor reads them aloud and tries to match them to the parent? I feel like with some happy hour drinks the guests would find it hilarious. Unless you think parent to be will get freaked out. Then follow up it up with the guests who have kids submitting their favorite/most rewarding thing about parenting and do the same thing.
OP says
I like this! Also the true false idea. Hmm…
I DO think she wants a baby shower. Mom to be is on the older side and has gone to years and years of baby showers (and did fertility treatment for this baby) – flying there for friends from college. Everyone really wants to be there for her. It might not be as envisioned, and she’s bashful about it, but I definitely want to mark the occasion!
Definitely wouldn’t do it for a second kid or if she’d just gotten married and celebrated last fall or something like that, but want to step up here. Our new idea is to make it Tiger King themed and send her a Carol Baskin flower crown to wear…
Anonymous says
Love this. I think humor lends itself a little better to a virtual/Zoom situation than overly sentimental. But maybe that’s just my personality.
cbackson says
Another option: depending on the outlook in your state, maybe discuss with her whether she’d prefer an in-person post-baby celebration? I’m in a very similar situation to your friend, and ultimately decided I really wouldn’t enjoy a virtual shower. We’re now tentatively planning to postpone the celebration until a few months after the baby comes (my state is not heavily affected and it looks like by late summer a party would be possible).
Anon says
What about asking everyone to make a short video of themselves giving their best baby advice or well wishes & merging them all together to present to her?
But I also like the Carol Baskin idea.
Anonymous says
I’m participating in a drive-by shower. We drop off gifts (if you have one), wave at the mom and dad to be, see the belly, and drive away. It seems ideal to me.
Pogo says
Excuse me while I sob… my caregiver has not been cashing our checks (we’re paying 50%), and yesterday she texted that she missed our son so much and wished she could just see him. This is so hard on everyone, kids, caregivers, parents. It is making me really feel beyond grateful for the amazing care she has provided to our son since he was a tiny chubby nugget back when I first went back to work, and for all the love and joy he experiences when he’s at her home. I’m just so sad about the whole thing.
Anonymous says
Can they facetime?
Lily says
Our former nanny texted to see if she could video chat with our 3year old last week This is a kid that will not sit on video for more than 2 min with his grandparents and talked for 20 with her while showing off toys and cool fort. They were both so happy after and I realized again how lucky we were to work with her. I’d give it a try!
Anonymous says
This is a great idea. She could read him a storybook or two at a set time everyday which would give you a minute to have a hot coffee.
Pogo says
oo that’s a good idea! I worry about him being more upset, but he’s been OK with seeing his librarian on livestream.
Anonymous says
I would expect him to be emotional the first time but if you introduce it as a regular thing, like ‘storytime before lunch’ or whatever, it should be fine.
Telco Lady JD says
I’m sure there are a gazillion old posts about this, and I promise I’ll read them. But if anyone needs a distraction today, please fill me in on baby registry must haves! We had our NT scan yesterday at 12+5 for our long-awaited IVF baby…and I’m letting myself contemplate a post-COVID future with a kiddo. :-) (Which, apparently, involves shopping.)
Anon says
Congrats!! Lucie’s List has good registry info. We didn’t register, but the big things we bought were: nursery furniture (the glider especially was a great purchase), changing pad and covers, crib, crib mattress and sheets, PNP and sheets, bucket carseat and two bases for our cars, a snap-n-go stroller frame for the carseat, bottles (we combofed but would have needed them eventually even for EBFing), diapers, wipes, a baby monitor, receiving blankets, sleepsacks (I still have no idea how to swaddle a baby without the velcro). Then there are some smaller medical things that are good to have on hand like infant Tylenol, Mylicon for gas, thermometer, nail clipper, snot sucker (<– I never actually used this but apparently most people do). Personally, I would recommend waiting on a bouncer, swing or baby seat until you know your baby and see if you need one – they're fairly expensive and not all babies need them. We never had one and it worked just fine putting our baby on the floor or an activity mat before she was crawling.
People mostly gave us books, toys and clothes, so we didn't really buy those things, although we had to buy some 0-3M outfits since all the clothes we received were 3-6M or bigger.
Anonymouse says
Congrats! Second Lucie’s list for good recommendations. And sign up for their emails.
Babybargains website is also useful for reviews, as is Wirecutter.
AnotherAnon says
+1 to Lucie’s List. Things we bought (for a 6 week old foster baby): bucket car seat with two bases (we have two cars), high chair (would not buy again), burp cloths, velcro swaddles, bibs, Dr Brown’s glass bottles, cloth diapers (absolutely not necessary, but I found cloth diapering no more/less onerous than paper diapers), play mat (basically just a colorful blanket), a rocking chair (I would have preferred a glider FWIW), a crib, crib sheets, baby blankets, a few outfits, a jogging stroller, a swing (will not use again due to SIDS risk), a pack n play, IKEA changing table, portable changing mat, SkipHop backpack diaper bag, Frida baby hygiene set, baby shampoo, baby hair brush, baby bathtub (totally not necessary), outfits. We were gifted books, stuffed animals and outfits. We bought diaper cream, wipes, snot suckers, Tylenol, etc after he arrived, but you can register for that stuff. Congratulations!
ANon says
Agree with Lucie’s List. Congrats! i have 2 year old twins, some of my favorite products are our Hatch sound machine (they have amazing customer service), Keekaroo changing pad, skip hop diaper bag changing thing. we have the ubbi diaper pail, which honestly started to rust, but i contacted them and they sent me a new one for $5.
anonn says
the Hatch is a good rec! I love it so much, the newer version looks even better!
CCLA says
Big yes to hatch, ubbi, and keekaroo – we have at various times had 2-3 of each of those (with newborn and toddler…now at 1 and 3 the only doubles we have are of the hatch, which i expect to be in heavy use for years). Also:
-k’tan carrier, and if you want to splurge on something easy for the first few weeks, also a nesting days carrier, which was easier to plop kiddo into in the squishy newborn days.
-reverse zip footed sleepers (see cloud island version at target)…kid 2 lived in only those for first couple months of her life after we learned from kid 1. So easy for night changes and just in general.
-baby got colic, if you can still find it. bought the loopable track for about $10 on itunes a few years ago and worked way better than the normal white noise to calm baby
-sleepsacks (we liked halo and little lotus)
octagon says
Baby Bjorn bouncer. We received one as a gift and it was a total MVP. Also, if you intend to register for a high chair or have generous relatives, the Stokke Tripp Trap. Otherwise – crib sheets and waterproof crib mattress covers.
Quail says
Congrats!
Our MVPs after two kids include: wipeable changing pad (don’t bother with covers) on top of dresser, IKEA crib, swaddlemes and halo sleepsacks, zipper sleep-n-plays (I’m firmly team NO SNAPS and when it’s cold enough to have legs covered, team sleep-n-play rather than onesie+ pants+ socks), nose frieda (didn’t use for our first at all, absolutely necessary for our second); Arm’s reach co-sleeper bassinet. Echo advice to wait re swing/bouncer and to have necessary meds (gas drops, tylenol) on hand – better to have it and never need it. We also cloth diaper and love it. We laundered ourselves for our first and use a service now.
TheElms says
Totally agree on the wipeable changing pad. Munchkin makes one for ~$30 that my kiddo prefers over the other options because it is softer. I prefer it because its cheaper! Love swaddlemes for teeny tiny babies and also the dream to love swaddle that allows baby to put their arms up and then the little wings zip off to transition out of the swaddle. Loved our arms reach co-sleeper.
AnonATL says
Do you have a link to that Munchikin pad? We have the Bumbo wipeable one on our registry currently, but I’m interested in a cheaper option. Particularly because the bumbo one is a bit wide for where I want to put it.
Quail says
We have a fisher price pad that’s around $50.
TheElms says
https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Secure-Waterproof-Diaper-Changing/dp/B00O64QJOC/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=munchkin+changing+pad&qid=1588186616&sr=8-2
There is also a Skip hop knockoff of the Peanut. https://www.skiphop.com/skiphop-nursery-and-gear/V_304050.html We have that as well and much prefer the Munchkin one.
Pogo says
We splurged for the Keekaroo. LOVE IT.
SC says
Agree with Lucie’s List. It really helps narrow things down so you don’t get bogged own in a million options.
My favorite baby items was the Aden & Anais swaddle blankets. We had a huge stack. Also, register for multiple crib sheets–like 3 or 4. We had a few nights when we went through all of them.
I only registered for gear and practical items. I assumed correctly that people would give us books, toys, and clothes whether I registered for them or not.
AnonATL says
Yay! Congrats and welcome to the pregnancy club!! I did not go through IVF, but that 12 week scan was when I felt like I could finally breathe again so I’m sure it was a special moment for you.
I subscribed to Lucie’s list after it was suggested on here and have found it to be immensely helpful and comprehensive. Lots of options at different price points and thorough reviews of various products. Also for registry building, I have really appreciated Babylist. You can build one registry from a bunch of different stores so if grandma wants to physically go to Target she can or she can order the same thing on Amazon.
I’m not sure if you have the What to Expect app and are a member of your due-date month group, but some of the advice on there has been helpful for me. A lot of those women are batty as can be, but some of them have practical advice about what you truly need or product reviews.
The general bare necessity baby needs are a car seat/base, safe place for baby to sleep for a couple months (which can be a pack n play, portable bassinet, or full crib), some clothes in a couple sizes, diapers & wipes, and formula & bottles. Everything else just makes your life easier and you can get it as you need it or want it. I have heard that some things have taken longer to be delivered to new moms than usual (like a car seat), but have not experienced that personally. Only thing that seems to regularly be in short supply are diapers, wipes, and formula, but you can wait on those for a while.
And of course the women on this board have been a great source of information for this first time mom. Truly you guys rock at giving practical non-judgey advice so far!
Anne says
Congrats!! Our top items after two kids are: baby bjorn bouncer, keekaroo peanut changing pad on the dresser (do not deal with one that requires a cover), a high chair that you can completely wipe down – we like the ikea one, ikea crib (that thing is fantastic), lots of zip up one pieces in 0-3 months, a diaper caddy, and the skip hop changer thing to put in a bag and change diapers on the go.
Patricia Gardiner says
Congratulations!!
My must-haves are: babywearing device (loved the lillebaby), boppy pillow for bre*stfeeding, and Velcro swaddles (so easy compared to swaddling blankets).
Hope you are able to celebrate and feel joy in this amazing time!
Anonymous says
The one thing with lucie’s list is it skews expensive. Doesn’t ever mention the many cheaper alternatives available, which meant I didn’t even know to look for them (ie drugstore umbrella stroller). I did rely on it at the beginning though! I’d really advise not buying a stroller beyond a snap n go until you get a better sense of how you are using it – turns out we barely use a stroller at all (firmly in the carrier camp as it turned out) but when we do, it’s on rough roads and trails and the jogging stroller makes a lot more sense than the fancy umbrella stroller I thought made more sense while pregnant.
Interesting to see people’s strong opinions! Like, what’s wrong with a changing pad that has a cover? With both our kids it only got dirty every couple weeks and was no big deal to wash.
Basics for us for both kids were changing pad, crib, somewhere to set baby down before baby is happy on the floor (bouncer or something like a rock n play of blessed memory), audio monitor, pacifiers (a couple kinds), bottles, bottle brush, breastfeeding stuff, baby ktan carrier for the first couple months (kinderpack or ergo for later. Not necessary but I really enjoyed the little “grass” bottle drying mat. We went through 8 billion kinds of swaddles and what worked with one kid didn’t work with the other so no advice there. At 4-6 months you may want a high chair – we like the ikea antilop or a cheap fisher price booster – it’s nice to have an extra in case you have friends over.
anonn says
the Shnuggle tub is a great bath tub, and not too huge. Wubba nub pacifier, they don’t bounce across the room when you drop them , or fall into a crevice when the baby spits it out.
Katarina says
I liked the book Baby Bargains for ideas, and I think they also have a website. It gives the “best” option in various price ranges for each item, as well as reviews. Some of my favorite baby items include by brest friend nursing pillow, Ergo, K’tan, and cloth diapers for burp cloths. Some items that I never had and never missed, for three babies, are changing pad (old towel on the floor, or on the couch if grandparents are helping) and diaper pail. I like the Fisher Price Infant to Toddler rocker, which is much cheaper than other bouncers.
AwayEmily says
Favorite kids fleece jacket? It will be handed down so reasonable quality. Ideally my daughter would love an orange one, so bonus points if you have seen a non-hideous orange one (seriously, whose favorite color is ORANGE??).
Spirograph says
Does it have to be a jacket? We have a grey and bright orange quarter zip fleece from North Face (they probably have jackets too). It’s on kid #3 and still looks great.
Anonymous says
+1 our North Face fleeces have held up great. I usually get them secondhand or during N-strom’s big sales, but I rarely pay full new price for anything.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
We have been happy with LL Bean and Patagonia. Both hold up very well and have been worn for years in our house.
Pogo says
+1 kiddo lives in LL Bean and Patagonia fleece hand-me-downs from his cousins. If I had to buy new, that’s what I’d get. He has some with and without hoods, full and half zip. He actually will wear the hood up if it’s cold, like on our run yesterday evening.
anne-on says
Not a fleece, but would this work?
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/everyday-hoodie-mandarin-orange/sty-b0998-ora?code=4B9J&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_campid=Shopping+-+Smart+-+Mini&tc_adgroupid=Mini&tc_kwid=&tc_matchid=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIh-LRm4CO6QIVuwiICR2YDAXBEAQYAyABEgKsdvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
anne-on says
Also try LLbean – they had a bunch of orange jackets in various styles!
AnotherAnon says
What do you think about Columbia’s Benton Springs in Bright Poppy? Or LL Bean’s Kids’ Northwoods Jacket in Hunter orange?
octagon says
We’ve had decent success with Columbia fleece – they are not as high quality as North Face/Patagonia but good for the price. Looks like the orange is currently on sale for $12.
FVNC says
My daughter had a Columbia fleece that lasted a couple seasons and was in good enough shape to pass along to her cousin. I felt it was decent quality for the price.
Anonymous says
My son loves orange and we went through two sizes of carters orange fleeces, a Columbia one, and then a Uniqlo one. After that I couldn’t find an orange fleece (full zip, hooded) available for sale new or used – out of style I guess? We landed on a red Columbia one last year. They are really solid quality!
Anonymous says
I’ve been happy with Columbia fleeces for the price point. Not North Face or Patagonia quality but quite serviceable for kids who are not wearing more than a couple seasons. That said, it seems like everywhere only makes fleeces in varying shade of black and blue for boys and pink and purple for girls. I wish companies would just make genderless fleece jackets in basic bright colors – red, yellow, orange, green etc. Bright colors photograph so much better and I really prefer high visible kids when we are hiking.
Anon says
there was a girl in my high school whose favorite color was orange…she ended up going to Syracuse
Anonymommy says
Check out Primary. Pretty shades of all colors.
Anonymouse says
We got a Hannah Anderson fleece at the local consignment in perfect condition, and remains so despite lots of laundering.
Anon says
Polarn o Pyret. Pricey, but it snaps into the rain jacket and Amazon quality. Haven’t seen orange, but they usually do a girl, boy and neutral color every year (last year my daughter picked fire engine red).
AwayEmily says
These are such great suggestions! Now to zone out online shopping while watching The Americans and drinking some wine….
Anonymouse says
Current breast pump suggestions? Any intel on the Spectra S3? I had the Spectra 1 last time (bought spring 2018) and so was planning to get that again so I can leave one at work (if I ever go back…) and can use all the bottles, etc that I already have.
Waiting for confirmation on my insurance coverage, which will certainly influence final decision.
LittleBigLaw says
Our state has started “opening back up,” and it looks like our daycare will also reopen in a couple of weeks. Normally, our toddler and preschooler would both be there all summer, but I’m worried about sending them with new cases still rising. The decision to loosen stay-at-home restrictions here has pretty clearly been based on economic factors rather than public health. At the same time, our daycare was one of the only ones in our area to close, which means many of my colleagues with children have had childcare throughout this situation and have had a less significant drop in billable hours as a result. I’m concerned that there will be even less patience with my lower hours if I choose not to send my kids to daycare vs. having no daycare to send them. I know that we can’t stay home forever, but I’m struggling with suddenly having the choice after weeks of forced isolation. If you’ve sent your kids back to daycare, how did you weigh the risks and benefits to make the choice in your situation?
Anon says
I don’t have the option to send them yet but for me (with the caveat that my family is all under 40 and nobody has serious health conditions), it would be a no brainer to send them back. The hospitalization and death rates in healthy people under 40 are on par with, if not lower than, the flu. For me, the only major sticking point would be contact with grandparents. I think that if your kids are in group childcare, it would not be safe for them to have in-person contact with people over the age of 60 for a long time, and most grandparents are in that age group. If you have local grandparents you see regularly, this might be a reason to keep kids out of daycare for longer than you otherwise would.
Pogo says
The demographics and size of the daycare would really impact my decision. Big center with 200 kids? no way. ANY kids with parents in healthcare? Sorry, no. If you could be sure that all parents were working from home and social distancing, as well as the providers, I would consider it. Then you’re essentially just expanding your “household” to include those individuals and limiting exposure behind that environment to pharmacies, grocery, etc. But that number needs to be small – 1 or 2 providers, 10 kids. Otherwise you’re exponentially expanding your exposure.
I don’t think household risk should factor – the whole point is to stop the spread, regardless of whether your particular household would be fine coming down w/ the virus.
Anonymous says
This is not evidence based and frankly is silly. At any day care you’re opening up to a huge circle, you can’t interrogate other families and care givers about what they are doing.
Anon says
Household risk certainly isn’t the only factor, but I also think that I can’t alone be responsible for public health and if the governor is reopening, the public health decision has kind of been made for me. In our area, daycares are slated to reopen after malls and bars. I’m not going to punish myself and risk losing my job by depriving myself of the childcare I need (OP said her performance has – understandably – been impacted by not having childcare), while tends of thousands of other people go out and enjoy bar nights and retail shopping, which are things they want, not things they need.
I mentioned my own family risk (I’m the commenter above you) because I would never put my job above my own kids’ lives or my life, so no, I don’t think family risk is irrelevant. If I had a kid on serious immunosuppressents I would not be returning to group childcare. But I’m ok with the morality of putting my job above my family’s (extremely minimal) impact on the overall public health, especially when the decision to reopen the economy was completely out of my hands.
Anonymous says
There’s a lot of sanctimony in this comment. You aren’t in the situation many of us are – working full-time with no childcare, with a boss that’s becoming increasingly frustrated with your lack of childcare. It’s not immoral to send your children to daycare when someone else has declared society re-opened and you’re faced with the choice between putting your children in daycare or losing your job. We all stayed home when we were asked to, and in fact, I followed the rules way better than the vast majority of my friends and neighbors, who were still having playdates and cheeky “social distancing” we’re-6-feet-apart-but-not-really gatherings these past two months. In an ideal world, would we all stay locked down for another month or two? Sure. But I don’t make the rules and I didn’t choose to lift the lockdown and I don’t understand why I should cut off my nose to spite my face and risk losing my job in order to keep my kids home from daycare (until…when, exactly? The virus will almost certainly be circulating to some degree until we’ve produced ~3 billion doses of a vaccine), when everyone else is pretty much returning to normal, or at least some version of it. If you feel it’s unsafe for your family, absolutely it’s your right to keep your kids home and make alternate arrangements for childcare. But I reject the idea that I have to throw my career under the bus out of concern for the larger community when it feels like everyone but me is going back to life as normal.
Anon says
The idea that we have to keep our kids home longer than necessary out of concern for the public health is incredibly damaging to women in particular. I’m in the same boat as OP (most daycares in my city are open but mine chose to close). My husband is our primary childcare provider and although I’m working close to full time hours with full productivity, every week (and, recently, more like every day) I get questions and comments like “When is your daycare re-opening?” “Why are your children still not back in daycare?” And my favorite, “Isn’t it kind of….inappropriate…to work at home with no daycare?” I would bet my life savings that men with children in daycares that are closed aren’t getting the same kind of questions and comments. So yeah, I’m not a big fan of us women fretting about the public health at the expense of our own careers, when men are not being impacted the same way by the daycare closures.
Also, if most daycares in OP’s city are already open, the impact on the public health of OP’s one particular center opening won’t be significant, so I don’t really understand the argument that the public health should be the dominant factor in deciding whether to return.
Pogo says
These are all fair points. I was speaking from my personal perspective and experience. In my area there aren’t people out partying at bars, because the bars are closed, but so are the daycares, so it is not a choice I’ve actively had to make. I also send my child to a very small in-home daycare, as do several of my working mom friends. It does influence my perspective.
Sigh says
I’m in almost this exact situation except I’m nearly 7 months pregnant. I have no idea what to do.
Anonymous says
At this point if you chose not to send them to daycare you’re going to need to get full time in home childcare. You’re right. Your employer is not going to be okay with you not having childcare when day care is open because you are worried.
Anon says
+1. You’re entitled to keep them home from daycare, but you have to make other childcare arrangements.
Anonanonanon says
Sadly, yes. It’s not fair, and we’re all being put in the position of making some tough choices that don’t feel like choices, but at some point when daycare is open you have to make other arrangements if you aren’t sending your kid.
signed, someone who will never be able to retire because I’m now paying a nanny we can barely afford (in addition to 50% at the former in-home daycare we used) because daycares never completely closed in my state
Anone says
Weighing this exact choice. At the risk to my career, I’m choosing not to send my kids this summer. Have some patchwork childcare and am still able to get my part time job done during odd times. It’s been working okay and just don’t want the hassle or risk of group care this summer.
Emily S. says
We haven’t sent them back yet, but we’re planning to when our state stay-at-home order expires in early June. Center is closed April 8-May 5 and opening back up with strict protocols May 6 (masks, temps at door, no more than 6 kids in a classroom, no shared playgrounds, etc.) We can (barely but can) manage our jobs and childcare now with sending kids to grandparents 2 days a week. We hope that by June, center will have learned the ropes of operating under those protocols and we’ll have seen enough of a slow in new cases to feel comfortable sending the kids in. We’re going to monitor the community spread/new case data carefully in May and June and decide if we’re comfortable sending them back in. If we have widespread testing and contract tracing, sure. If not, but a decent run of no new cases, sure. If cases continue to rise, probably not. What we haven’t decided, though, is if we will still send our youngest to her grandparents twice a week like we normally do.
Anon says
Our consideration on this issue is based upon how it will impact our kid’s ability to eventually see grandparents.
We need care from somewhere – either DH or I will be fired if we can’t find a way to actually work the full time hours we’re being paid to work. If we send kiddo to summer care in mid-June, I think this precludes him from seeing his grandparents (all in their 70’s) unless he stays home for 2-weeks prior. Our alternative is to have grandparents (all are good social distancers, we’d be a pretty small circle) do childcare instead.
I think it’s too high risk to grandparents to have them do even occasional childcare if he’s also going to some kind of summer camp or daycare, so right now we’re leaning grandparents picking up some childcare, rather than sending him to summer camp.
Anon says
I am sending my child to daycare when it opens in a couple weeks. There is low risk to young people. Most young children don’t even have symptoms. The real risk is to people over 70 or those who have chronic conditions. I won’t allow my child to visit grandparents to keep them safe. You can be hyper vigilant if you wish but you still need to find a long-term strategy for making it all work since this is a marathon not a sprint.
anon says
I posted the same thing last week and I literally have no answers, still. I don’t know what to do.
LittleBigLaw says
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses, everyone. Last week, I thought we would definitely be home with kids for at least two more months and had kind of made peace with it, but I guess that’s just how fast things change. I don’t know what we’ll do, but hiring FT in-home care isn’t an option for us financially because of recent paycuts and because we’ll have to pay tuition regardless to hold our youngest’s spot. No easy answers, but maybe the impact of the easing restrictions will be more apparent in the next two weeks and that will help us decide one way or the other.
Grocery store PSA says
PSA for those fellow expectant moms who weren’t aware:
Some grocery stores are including pregnant women in their “senior” early shopping hours. I had no idea – we’ve ordered all of our groceries via delivery since January. We just found out yesterday that our local Trader Joe’s is doing this, and since that’s my normal shop in normal times and I’m currently craving EVERYTHING from Trader Joe’s and haven’t been in months, I went this morning and stocked up!! So happy.
Anon says
Yes, I believe most stores including pregnant women in their special hours.
Pogo says
I had heard Target included preggo’s. DH still won’t let me out, though. He does all our shopping so I don’t “need” to go, except that I yearn for the days of wandering Target with a Starbucks and an empty cart and no child on a Saturday morning after yoga. That would qualify as a vacation for me right now (well, for most of us, I assume).
Anon says
Ha, yes, that would totally count as a vacation. Speaking of vacations, I saw some social media post that said something like “Nobody needs to worry about the health of the travel industry – 40 million mothers booking flights to deserted islands as soon as this is over will perk it right back up.”
Anonymous says
He won’t let you out? What is that nonsense?
Anonymous says
Assumption of a risk like COVID-19 exposure is a joint decision. Except that in this situation if the husband is worried about his wife getting the virus then he needs to stay home too, because if he catches it he’s going to give it to her.
FWIW, I “don’t let” my husband go out either, because I’m the more cautious of the two of us and less likely to do something stupid like taking my mask off to scratch my face in the middle of the grocery store. He is okay with this because he wants me to feel safe.
Anonymous says
I agree that if he is worried, they need to both stay home. People can correct me if there is evidence on this, but I think it would be very difficult to live in a house with someone with Covid and not catch it. Those that haven’t are likely asymptomatic.
But I also took your comment in the tone you intended it, Pogo.
Pogo says
I just meant that since I’m pregnant/high risk, he’s offered to do all shopping and prefers I not do it. Obviously he’s not locking me in the house.
anne-on says
I said almost that exact thing to my husband last night. I used to LOVE wandering around CVS or Trader Joes to see the new snacks/see what new K-beauty arrived/examine nailpolishes/etc. And now I’m anxious and nervous to go into supermarkets and the drugstore is even worse. This virus is awful on so many levels but injecting fear into our everyday routines and comforts is one of the most insidious side effects – and one that may not go away for a very long time.
avocado says
My assistant, who continues to work in the office for unfathomable reasons, just e-mailed me a photo of my office to use as a backdrop on our next Zoom meeting. I cannot wait to see whether anyone notices.
The fact that I find this amusing must mean I am really desperate.
IHeartBacon says
I actually think it’s hysterical. :) Report back after your meeting.
Anonanonanon says
That is hilarious, especially given that you mentioned people in your chain are making a show of going into the office. I want to hear how it goes!!
Cb says
I tidied up my bookshelves the other day after our director spent 10 minutes talking about the saga of his Georgian replica shelves. I have early 21st century Scandinavian :)
avocado says
“Danish modern” has a nice ring to it.
Ms B says
We were just notified that one of The Kid’s summer camps (the one where we shelled out a big deposit in January) will not be opening this summer. Assuming The Hubs and I both are going back to work in offices by late May or early June (and I know that I definitely will me), this is a major problem. Filling four weeks is going to be a challenge, especially if a number of camps do not open at all.
Anonymous says
It’s only going to take a couple weeks of relaxed social distancing before we have to go on lockdown again.
Anon says
I mean, if you believe this, you believe we’ll be on lockdown until there’s a vaccine, which is a year or more away at best. I do believe there will be cycles and we’ll see localized lockdowns as new hotspots emerge, but I don’t believe we are going to have another 3 month nationwide lockdown just two weeks after we start gradually easing restrictions. Keep in mind also that testing capability and hospital capacity are much, much better now than they were in mid-March and the lack of capacity with respect to both of those were major reasons for the country-wide lockdown.
Anon says
It depends. But last week there were zero cases in my parents’s rural county and seven days later there are now 15. So yeah, we’re going to be on lockdown on and off for the next year. And if you don’t think that, I got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Anon says
There will be more COVID cases. That’s the new normal. That doesn’t mean a nationwide lockdown will happen again.Measuring success isn’t about maintaining zero new cases, it’s about ensuring the capacity of hospitals to meet the demand, providing testing, protecting vulnerable populations, and the ability to find treatments as soon as possible.
Anon says
I agree there will be some shutdowns on and off for the next year and beyond, but it will be much more localized and narrowly tailored (eg., a daycare shuts for 2 weeks when there’s a positive case at the center, but it doesn’t mean the whole city or county shuts down), both because hospitals and testing centers are much better prepared and because people have lockdown fatigue. There’s a limit to how many times you can ask people not to leave their houses for two months and if you keep asking, you’ll end up with people just ignoring the rules, which is much worse (for both public health and the economy) than narrowly tailored shutdowns that people actually follow. Most governors and public health departments understand this. You were responding to someone saying she’s worried about summer child care and you told her not to worry about it because we’ll all be locked down again in 2 weeks, which is simply untrue. Most of us are going back to work in some form and need to figure out childcare, with the understanding that it may be temporarily unavailable on and off over the course of the next couple of years.