CorporetteMoms

Updated: Apr 21, 2021 135 Comments · by

Make My Life Easier Thursday: Laptop Stand

Recent Recs

This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Laptop Stand

My job is such that I’ve never worked from home, and when everything was transferred to remote working, I didn’t have a good setup. However, my husband has the ability to work from home occasionally, and bought a few things to make it a more comfortable experience. This laptop stand has been my favorite thing to use and has saved my shoulders and neck during this quarantine period. Instead of looking down at my laptop screen for hours a day, now I am looking at it at eye level, more like a regular desktop monitor. The reason I love this stand in particular is that the lip of it is in the middle and doesn’t interfere with typing or using the touchpad like other stands. Also, for Skype or Zoom, this puts your laptop at a better angle for your camera — straight ahead or angled down instead of looking up at your chin. If you’re exclusively working remotely from a laptop, I highly recommend a stand. This one is $44.90 at Raindesigninc.com. mStand Laptop Stand

This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
  • Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
  • Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
  • Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more

See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:

Click here to see our top posts!

And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. anon4this says

    Ugh so I need to move in two months from one of the worst impacted areas by COVID to another. How am I supposed to find a place to rent right now, hire a nanny, and find a job for our new nanny? Any advice would be appreciated. I am thinking a start would be to email my new boss and check in on the start date and what plans are with the COVID situation to help planning on our end, but that sure sounds like an awkward email to send for someone I have never worked with.

    • Realist says

      Are you sure you have to move? If this is a new job, they may rescind the offer (not trying to scare you, but you have to look at the big picture here). A lot can change in each area in a few months, so they just may not be ready for you when you think. You are going to need to call your boss and have an awkward conversation. I worry for you that things could still change at the last minute, so I would try to hold on to current arrangements as long as possible. Otherwise, a few thoughts:
      -Can your nanny come for a few months or even just a few weeks to give you time to find a new one?
      -Childcare seems to be in demand, hopefully your nanny can find a new job easily. Put word out to your network when you are ready (not too early!)
      -You need a network of people you can just plug into. Try to join a Facebook moms group or something similar with moms in the new area. A good realtor should be able to help you find something to rent. They may also help you find delivery services and things so that you can be responsible (you just be) and completely isolate for 2 weeks upon arrival.
      Good luck, this sounds super stressful.

      • Anne says

        In terms of your nanny — I think the biggest hesitancy for hiring new childcare right now is trust that a person will socially distance. If you know that your nanny has been, and can let your network know, I think someone will jump on the opportunity to hire her.

      • Anonymous says

        It’s happening most likely (not to get into details – but I have been heavily recruited for this position and have been in touch with the team regarding planning some things for later in the year/next year), so I think it’s unlikely they would pull out. Although I guess is things could happen with funding that could change things last minute. My hesitation is that part of the summer and Fall could be remote, and in that case I would like to delay moving. I don’t think my boss even knows I have kids and that I will be looking for nannies. Love your idea about asking the nanny to come with for a bit, esp since it’s driving distance away from where we currently live.

        • Redux says

          We are hiring and our new people (like our existing people) are working from home. New folks have to come into the office physically on the first day to do paperwork and IT-related stuff (including issuing equipment). But if you are in driving distance, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. If you don’t want to move right now, you might not have to if everyone is remote anyway.

        • Realist says

          That’s great anon! Just be really careful. DH is in a relatively stable position right now with a company doing ok, but I know they rescinded an offer to someone at a senior level and a person with a family that had planned a big move was left in the lurch. Hopefully it is just a delay, but thinking through a few contingencies (without dwelling on them) is probably time well spent. I would definitely work with the nanny to work out a transition period. And I suggest a call or Zoom meeting with your new boss. Much easier to go over things in a call than to go over things by email, and you may get a read on whether there is a chance that your position will be delayed or see how open they are to remote work for a few months. I much prefer emails over calls myself, but in this situation I think you need a conversation. Good luck!

        • anon says

          Anecdata: I have a friend who was supposed to move cross country for her new dream job. Her start date was delayed. Thankfully, she eventually started the job but she is still working remotely from her old place. She won’t actually move until they start working from the office and that may not be for months.

          I have another friend who got a new job that required a move 1,000+ miles with his wife and kids. They moved just before things started shutting down, so he has been working remotely this whole time.

    • Anonymous says

      Rentals are mostly doing virtual showings initially but then letting you in. Movers get hired.

    • Anon says

      I’m in Boston, which is a hotspot, and my clients own multifamily rental properties of various sizes and types. Places are getting leased even through all of this. Just as bad as you need an apartment, landlords need to lease their apartments. Virtual tours are a real thing and landlords are trying hard to accommodate prospective renters. You can do it – I promise!

    • Anon says

      assuming you have not already quit your current job – please be careful. i know of someone who quit at one employer and had an offer, was hired and was supposed to start earlier this week for another employer (all i’s were dotted and t’s were crossed before she gave notice), but due to Covid, while she is hired by the new job, her start date is delayed indefinitely by the new job and now she has no job

    • Jeffiner says

      In this day and age, its not awkward at all to ask your new boss what the onboarding process and expectations will be for a new job. My company has continued to hire people as planned, but changed the processes a lot to allow for social distancing and working remotely.

  2. Not Your Average Lullaby says

    Good morning! A fun question, I hope: what are some songs I can sing to baby at nighttime? I’m thinking something other than typical lullabies. Recently I’ve done:
    – Somewhere Over the Rainbow
    – Blackbird by The Beatles
    – Closing Time by Semisonic (fun backstory to that song if you don’t know it!)
    – A Thousand Years by Christina Perri (from Twilight. I know, I know.)

    My brain is blocked and I don’t want to sing You Are My Sunshine night after night anymore, as beautiful a song as it is.

    • anne-on says

      Did you do a father/daughter or mother/son dance at your wedding? I sang our first dance song and our father/daughter song to our son (Sweet Pea by Amos Lee, and Stand by Me by Sam Cooke respectively) to our son. I also think Stevie Wonder’s, Isn’t she lovely is so sweet!

    • Cb says

      For kids songs, I like Baby Beluga. My husband also sings a lot of Scottish folk songs as well as whatever his choir is currently practicing.
      This is the most pretentious thing I’ve written but I also used to read poetry to my son at bedtime. He was a terrible sleeper and somehow the reading something lyrical and beautiful calmed both of us down on those rough nights. Now we just read story books, but I did like the poetry.

      • Spirograph says

        We do a lot of Baby Beluga, too. On the same Raffi CD is a lullaby about a train bound for Morningtown that I love and change the words to my own kids’ names. Also, My Favorite Things from Sound of Music. When my kids were babies, I did a lot of making up my own words to the Brahms lullaby.

        I think the poetry thing is lovely! I pulled out a poetry book and read “The New Colossus” to my kids after it came up on a TV show. They don’t get it, but I was surprised how much they enjoyed listening to Poetry-with-a-capital-P read aloud.

      • Emily S. says

        Cb, that reminded me how my husband read poetry to our oldest in the hospital — I had forgotten that and it made me smile! Especially as she’s been a bit of a pill lately; I needed to remember her as warm and snuggly. She had opinions on poetry, too — she did not like Seamus Heaney, but calmed right down to Marianne Baruch and W.B. Yeats.
        I liked to sing John Lennon’s lullaby to his son, “Now it’s time to say good night/Good night, sleep tight…” I can’t remember the name, but it is an outtake on one of the anthology albums.

    • Anonymous says

      I’ve been doing some hymns/spirituals (sometimes as interpreted by Pete Seeger and/or Raffi ha) – Michael Row the Boat Ashore, Swing Low Sweet Chariot, things like that. Also, lately Summertime, from Porgy and Bess

    • Anonymous says

      We used to sing Forever Young. There is a wonderful picture book with lots of hidden references in the illustrations.

    • Anonymous says

      My husband and I both sing “gentle” versions of our alma mater’s fight songs, which means they’re one of the first songs our kids know. So cute, good party trick.

      • Anonymous says

        The gentle version of Bear Down, Chicago Bears is apparently one of the most surefire ways to calm down my friend’s kids.

        • CHL says

          We’ll never forget the way you thrilled the Nation! With your T Formation!

    • Three Little Birds says

      Three Little Birds, Bob Marley: “Don’t worry about a think, every little thing is gonna be alright”… when DD was born and under the blue lights for jaundice I drew a total blank on lullabies to sing to her and this is all that came to my head and has quickly become a favorite. Side note, we also danced to Bob Marley as our first dance at our wedding so it was somehow fitting, though coincidental.

    • Anonymous says

      I sing a lot of songs we used to sing at summer camp: Paradise (RIP John Prine) & Country Roads, and others I know like My Favorite Things. My son’s favorite lullaby is Morningtown, and I also sing All The Pretty Little Horses a lot (my favorite as a child). I also use the Rise Up Singing songbook I have had for 20 years (since summer camp!)

    • Anon says

      I go for the patriotic songs I learned in grade school choir and still know – America the Beautiful (which my dad sang to me), My Country Tis of Thee, This Land is Your Land, My Song is for the Old Dominion (grew up in VA) plus a few country songs (Garth Brooks – Lonesome Dove and Belleau Woods).

    • GCA says

      Leaving on a Jetplane. Kid 1 picked up that it was a ‘sad song’ around age 2.
      The Gambler by fun. – it was our ‘wedding song’ for our tiny, best, 12-guest wedding that we held when we were young and broke. (Later on we threw 2 big parties, one on each of two continents, with all of our family and friends).
      Kid 2 is partial to recitations of Dinosaur Dance (Sandra Boynton).

    • Anonymous says

      DH sings Take Me Out to the Ballgame over and over again until she drifts off to sleep.

    • AnotherAnon says

      I love this! I sing “All My Loving” because my dad (who passed 10 years ago) sang it to me when I was little. I also sing Brother Flower because it’s one of my screensavers. Anonymous@9:55 – how do you sing Paradise without bawling? That’s a good one though. Lately I’ve been singing Space Monkey because kiddo is 3 and thinks it’s a funny song.

    • Realist says

      Close to You by the Carpenters (“why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near”)

    • Jeffiner says

      Wagon Wheel by Darius Rucker. I also sing Soft Kitty, from the Big Bang Theory. My favorite though is Over in the Meadow, I remember my mom singing it to me.

    • Em says

      The only song I sang to my son when he was a baby was “The Freshman” by The Verve Pipe because I knew all the lyrics. Thankfully this was way before he could talk.

    • Anonymous says

      Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, blackbird by the Beatles (which my dad always sang to me). Plus a billion Hebrew songs from Shabbat, havdallah etc for those who are familiar (Eliyahu haNavi, all Debbie Friedman songs from my youth, modeh ani although that’s more for the morning, hashkiveinu, all Kabbalat Shabbat songs, pitchu li, etc).

    • Clementine says

      So many songs. Yellow Submarine, Amazing Grace, German folk songs, American folk songs, hymns… literally whatever is in my head. The King of Love my Shepherd Is, If I had a Hammer (not a lullaby, but kids love it and it puts them to sleep), For the Beauty of the Earth, We Shall Overcome, the Outlander theme song, The Rose, everything from Les Mis and Phantom of the Opera, Burn from Hamilton, and exclusively for diaper changes a rendition of ‘Baby Got Back’ lovingly entitled ‘Baby Got Poop’.

      My husband’s go-to is ‘Down in the River to Pray’ which is a lovely Alison Krauss song that lends itself to a wide range of vocal abilities. My oldest kid sings it to the little ones as ‘Down in the River to Play’ which sounds way more fun.

    • Bean74 says

      Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young, “Golden Slumbers,” “Tender Shepherd” from Peter Pan, the third verse of “Away in a Manger,” and “God Bless America” with the words changed to fit my son.

      • Anonymous says

        We sing Tender Shepherd too! My husband played Michael in a community theater production when he was a little boy, so the song is special to him.

    • Ashley says

      My son (2.5) is always requesting “Daddy’s song” or “Mommy’s song” or “Grannie’s song” etc. etc. So if a family member doesn’t have a “song” yet, they get assigned whatever song pops into my head that reminds me of them. So far we have The Old Rugged Cross (me), The River by Garth Brooks (daddy), Ramblin’ Man by the Allman Brothers Band (my dad), Doo Wah Diddy (my mom), In the Garden (my grandmother), Battle Hymn of the Republic (Elvis version, my grandfather). It’s a fun little family tradition to see whose song we’re going to sing that night.

      • Ashley says

        Also Louis Armstrong – A Kiss to Build a Dream on. This song was playing in the hospital nursery right after he was born and has always calmed him down!

      • Anonymous says

        I love this! My kids went through a phase where they would request the [random word] song, and I’d sing whatever came into my head from word association. It’s made for an eclectic repertoire.

        A Kiss to Build a Dream on is a good one! I also sing L-O-V-E (L is for the way you look at me). I need to work in some more old standards.

        • Anonymous says

          Haha we are in that phase right now. I have been singing for the past few weeks the Little Monster Who Made Pancakes for Breakfast with His Papa sang.

    • Anonymous says

      We do a spoken word performance of “Pajama Song” for one kid, and “The Going to Bed Book” for the other- both books by Sandra Boyton. They call them their good night poems and they love them.

  3. Cb says

    Two questions today –
    For those who do quiet time in lieu of a nap, how does this work? Do you use some sort of timer?
    My son is in a small IKEA cot and is really looking giant in it. Can I move him directly to a twin (IKEA hemnes daybed) with some sort of bumper arrangement? I don’t really want to buy another bed, especially during lockdown.

    • Anon says

      1) Something like the Hatch like works well for this. “It’s quiet time so you need to play quietly in your room until the light turns green.”

      2) Yep! We went right from cribs to beds without any bumpers/rails and the kids fell out a couple times the first week but then it’s been fine ever since (and means they can sleep in hotel beds without falling out, too!).

    • TheElms says

      On the bed, lots of my friends have moved their 2 1/2 year olds from crib to bed (sometimes even a full bed!). They typically put the bed against the wall and put a bed rail on the other side, like this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Safetots-ST-SBRW-Bed-Rail-White/dp/B00KBUO22G/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?ie=UTF8&aaxitk=Yj0xwCErw1Hz1FmI.IN91w&hsa_cr_id=4647715260002&ref_=sb_s_sparkle

      If you don’t want to buy a bed rail, you could try pillows under the fitted sheet as a barrier.

    • Anonymous says

      Transition from crib to twin bed was the least interesting kid transition we had. We put the mattress on the floor for a couple weeks so falling wasn’t limited risk. I think each kid fell out 1-2x? Then we put bed on the frame and moved forward. No railing or bumper. One never roamed even with the freedom, one was big on exploring (but had already figured out how to get out of her crib, so the bed didn’t actually change anything). Easy peasy.

      • Cb says

        Oh super, for some reason I’ve really been dreading it. I’m going to put a gate on my son’s door, but honestly, he’s never tried to crawl out of his cot, so hoping he’s okay.

      • Anonanonanon says

        Did the same with both of my kids. Mattress on the floor to start, then mattress on top of the boxspring on the floor, then it all went on the bed frame.

    • Anon says

      Kiddo gets to go in our bed (used to be a treat, but also where she sleeps most of the time these days), with her tablet. If she gets up we just keep putting her back. She has a toddler bed that she sleeps in in her room when she is not sleeping with us.

    • Spirograph says

      My new quiet time “timer” that I started a few weeks ago and wish I’d thought of sooner: Quiet time is now audio book time. I got the entire set of Magic Treehouse, and we put it on over a bluetooth speaker in their room. The kids have to stay in their beds and listen to one book. If they’ve been quiet and are still awake at the end, they can get up. The youngest always falls asleep, the older two usually don’t, but they’ve been MUCH more cooperative about staying quiet in their beds.

    • Clementine says

      Put it against the wall, ours was low to the bed so we just put a folded thick down comforter on the ground as a crash pad.

    • Anonymous says

      We went straight from ikea crib to regular twin bed. After a few times falling out, just stuck a pillow under the sheet at edge of bed and that solved the problem till it was no longer a problem.

  4. OP says

    It’s happening most likely (not to get into details – but I have been heavily recruited for this position and have been in touch with the team regarding planning some things for later in the year/next year), so I think it’s unlikely they would pull out. Although I guess is things could happen with funding that could change things last minute. My hesitation is that part of the summer and Fall could be remote, and in that case I would like to delay moving. I don’t think my boss even knows I have kids and that I will be looking for nannies. Love your idea about asking the nanny to come with for a bit, esp since it’s driving distance away from where we currently live.

    • Anon says

      The only way to start planning is to talk to your new boss. I’d straight up ask if the job was still secure or if the company was going through significant changes. Many, many companies across industries are in distress. Also, discuss remote options. Sorry, stressful unknowns but I think having a real conversation will give you a lot of info.

  5. Stick Vacuum says

    I am in the market for a cordless stick vacuum. Do I just go with Dyson? The fancy, expensive one? I hate to not research a bunch, but let’s be honest, no one has time for that right now.

    • TheElms says

      Yes, get the Dyson. I resisted forever because of the price. I finally bought one in the Black Friday sale last year and it is amazing. I am now content to vacuum our main floor every day (which with kid, dog, cat is probably necessary). Its super easy to use and I can do the whole main floor in 20 minutes on one charge.

      • Anonanonanon says

        Yes. get it! So worth it. I hate hate hate bending down to plug and unplug things for some reason. The dysono is awesome because, like TheElms said, the 20 minute charge goes a lot further than you would think. We’re in a row home so each floor is only about 500 sq ft so I can usually do my main floor 3 times before I need to charge. Mine has a separate hard floor attachment vs. carpet attachment, I don’t know if that’s the case with the newer ones.

        • Anonanonanon says

          Also mine is about 5 years old and I haven’t seen any decrease in performance. I use it at least once a day.

    • Anon says

      Most cordless stick vacuums get terrible reviews and malfunction within a short time frame. That’s why I use one with a cord.

    • Marshmallow says

      We just bought the Dyson V10 stick vac a few weeks ago and LOVE IT. Totally worth it, and on sale right now at BBB.

    • Anon says

      Yes, get the Dyson, but to save a little money, I bought a few model years back (e.g., when the v8 came out, I got the v6 motorhead on sale for around $200). I use that darn thing almost every day (toddler crumb machine plus recently ants have been wandering in with all the rain). I wish it had a little longer run time now that I am doing the whole first floor which is the main benefit to later models (e.g., I can do everything but one room on one charge – and when our housekeeper was coming regularly and I wasn’t eating meals in our home office while working, I would just skip the formal dining room or office depending on which was less dirty, but now that’s not a thing, so I have to stop and recharge) – that’s the only reason I’m thinking about upgrading to a new version on Black Friday. I leave my heavy corded upright dyson (coincidentally the same one my housekeeper uses) upstairs for formerly random accidents and now to vacuum biweekly until our housekeeper can come back.

      If you don’t want to go Dyson, Young House Love raves about the Shark Navigator Freestyle Upright Stick Cordless Bagless Vacuum.

    • anne-on says

      I bought the cordless Dyson V10 at the start of this – totally worth it! It’s fabulous so far and SO much easier for all the things cleaning blogs tell you to use your vacuum for – I’ve deep cleaned our mattresses, sofas, and blinds with it so far in addition to regular vacuuming.

    • FVNC says

      Our Dyson stick vac is the only one that’s lasted longer than a year. We’ve had it about 3 years and it’s going strong…and we’re not gentle with it. It’s simultaneously extremely satisfying and extremely gross to see how much dust and general detritus it picks up.

      • Anon says

        I keep telling DH it must manufacture dust, because there is no way our house can get that dirty when I am vacuuming daily (no pets! just the three of us! hiding inside because all it does is rain!), but apparently we are filthy animals.

    • Anon says

      My husband just told me that the Dyson he bought a year and a half ago was the best purchase we have ever made. This man is not normally someone who goes out of his way to clean things. (And yes, when I first saw the Costco charge hit our card I thought he was nuts).

    • anonn says

      Yes Dyson. Got ours on Groupon 4 years ago. The customer service is so good, when you call they magically know who you are and what vac you have without you having to tell them.they will replace parts free of charge if it has issue.

    • Anonymous says

      We have a Dyson V6 that we love. I am a cheapskate but I think they are really worth it.

      • Anonymous says

        Get a Dyson! I have the first version of the Dyson stick vacuum and still like it. I am hoping it dies soon so I can rationalize a newer version.

    • Anonymous says

      We have a Dyson (my husband’s one big contribution to our wedding registry) and I really don’t like it. I don’t think it’s very powerful and the annoyance of having to charge it eliminates any of the seeming convenience, at least for me. Not something I would spend money on.

  6. Argh says

    I am so completely frustrated with my generally awesome husband right now. He’s working a ton and also does a larger share of the pet care and housework (well more than I do truthfully), but he has the complete inability or unwillingness to do two things at once.

    I’ve tried to take on additional household tasks but he insists he want to do them himself. (Yes, I realize the absurdity of fighting with my husband because he insists on cleaning the house.) I don’t know how to make him understand that with only part time child care right now, we simply do not have time for me to watch our toddler so that he can do the dishes, let the dogs out in the yard, etc etc. I’d much prefer to do the dishes, clean the kitchen, etc. myself while also handling the child care, freeing up more hours in the day for both of us. But for whatever reason he simply can’t function this way and it’s making me absolutely crazy.

    • Argh says

      I should add that this is not a situation where our house is constantly a mess. It’s spotless, despite having a toddler. Which I do appreciate in normal times but right now time is just in such short supply. Am I being unreasonable here?

      • Anonanonanon says

        Because you asked, I think you’re being 50% unreasonable and 50% justified and I’m saying that as someone who has been annoyed by the exact same thing. Yes, they’re doing something helpful, but it feels like they’re doing it because they would prefer to do that than watch the kid.
        I think it’s a time management/efficiency conversation like you said. Dishes are not as time-sensitive and job deliverables, for example, so it is more efficient and helpful to have him watch the child if he has a free moment so you can focus on work. Dishes can happen while the child is asleep, but work may not be able to.

        • Argh says

          Thanks, this perspective is helpful. I do feel like I can’t complain that he is doing the dishes or whatever because technically it’s helpful. but when he acts like he’s unavailable to do child care because he’s spending an absurd amount of time hand-washing things that could go in the dishwasher it’s just ugh!

        • IHeartBacon says

          I have to agree that it sounds/feels like your husband is choosing these tasks over watching your toddler. He can do the chores at a leisurely pace and the chores don’t demand anything back from him, but he can still take credit for his contributions. My husband is the exact same way. If you figure out a solution (now or at any time in the future), please let me know.

    • Knope says

      How old is your toddler? If over 2 or so, I would re-frame this as “Kid should ‘help’ with chores.” “Help” can look different depending on the kid’s age – anything from you handing her rinsed silverware to put in the dishwasher to her standing at the sink playing with some bubbles or “stirring” a bowl on the floor while you do the dishes. If your child is under 2, verify with husband that the issue is discomfort in taking his eye off the kid to focus on other work. If that is in fact the issue, set up a safe space for the toddler to play in. Invest in baby gates, or a tent.

      • Argh says

        20 months. He can “help” with most things, though it admittedly it does take much longer with his help than without it. He also will just happily stand in his learning tower or play in the background 80% of the time (but not if I’m trying to watch him and work as my laptop is a magnet for little toddler hands).

        • SC says

          Does your husband happen to have ADD or other executive function issues? Mine does, and he has a really hard time being interrupted while working. So, while I may think, “Kiddo is happy to play in the background 80% of the time, so he can color while I do dishes,” DH sees that same situation as “I’ve been interrupted 13 times while trying to do the dishes.” It’s a huge mental burden for him to switch in and out of a task, particularly one he doesn’t enjoy in the first place.

          Also, 20 months is a hard age. They’re mobile but not really independent or capable of helping.

          • Argh says

            Not that I know of, but he definitely has a more orderly brain than I do. Being interrupted is probably pretty hard on him compared to me, now that you mention it.

    • Anon says

      Lockdown is surely bringing out some interesting relationship dynamics :) My husband is the multitasker when it comes to chores and I am not. He likes to wash dishes while he cooks, and clean the kitchen which watching the kids. I much prefer to put on a podcast and zone out while doing chores, so I let things pile up and then at a couple specific times will handle then. Is there a way you can not make it a discussion? Like, if he is working and you want to wash dishes, just go for it? It’s unreasonable for him to get mad if you just go ahead and do chores while he’s busy; similarly, it’s unreasonable for you to insist when and how he does his chores (within reason – you say the house is spotless so I don’t think you two have too much to quibble about in general). Err on the side of compassion right now and letting the other person do their thing as much as possible (and then double down on the one or two nonnegotiables for you).

    • Pogo says

      We have this issue as well, I think part of it sometimes can be a difference in priorities. I don’t care if the lawn isn’t mowed. It’s not hurting anybody. But yeah if DH is going to go to that, that’s 1 hour+ I’m on solo toddler duty. He cares a lot more if the lawn is mowed than I do.

      The best way to handle it is to get agreement from both parties beforehand, and stick to your guns if you don’t agree. DH will say something like, “I’d really like to do X before it gets dark” and I might say sure or else I suggest an alternative – “can you do that tomorrow during his nap, I need to do y right now”.

      For dishes specifically, that is done in our household by the non-bedtime parent. One person does bath and bed, other person cleans up downstairs. I don’t see why it every has to be done when kiddo is present but maybe that’s bc my dirty dishes threshold is higher.

      • Argh says

        100% this is a priority issue. I am trying to prioritize what I think are critical issues and I feel like he is too rigid and can’t let go of doing things exactly the way he would prefer them to do.

        We have the same exact issue with lawnmowing as you do, fwiw – he thinks it needs mowed when I think it’s fine and would prioritize other things. But I’ve given up and just let him decide when to mow as I know it bothers him when it “needs” it. I just can’t seem to reach that same place with housework, for whatever reason.

    • Anon says

      Oh look! You’re married to my husband! Except we have three kids now, so he’s BEGINNING to understand. The only solution is to have more kids so there is so much chaos he has to bend. I’m thinking a fourth will really do the trick.

      He’s otherwise great.

      • Argh says

        This made me laugh out loud, thank you. We are expecting our second which is I think is also contributing to my current state of frustration/fear.

        • Anon again says

          So glad it made you laugh – it IS funny isn’t it?

          I realized I had one thing to add – my DH is maybe an introvert? Not a major one but I think that’s part of why he likes to do these things alone. If yours is the same maybe incorporate that into the way you think about it too (to be clear, he’s also incapable of multitasking, it’s not just alone time!)

      • Anon says

        My DH is the same, and it also takes him an abnormally long time to do things too. E.g., I tasked him with making dinner the other night. What should have taken 30 minutes max to get dinner in the oven (to then cook for 30 minutes) took over an hour and a half. To be clear, he had to chop two bell peppers, two red onions, and a pint of cherry tomatoes, open a packet of gnocchi, sprinkle with spices and toss with oil and put in the oven. I swear he was taking a nap between each vegetable, but every time I walked in the kitchen, he seemed to be making (incremental) progress while I did all the screaming on the inside.

        • Redux says

          I love that this comment is also hiding a recipe. It’s like an advice nesting doll.

        • Is my husband a turtle? says

          Oh, my husband is the SAME. He takes 45 minutes – 1hr to grill chicken on the Foreman and heat up veggies and pasta leftovers.

          He also insists on washing the dishes as they are being used and before they go into the dishwasher. I’m much more of a pile in the sink, then put them in the dishwasher after all the dirty dishes are in one location.

          And that sounds delish!

          • Pogo says

            This is making me laugh too – my DH is very similar as well. In corona-times, I’ve taken over 95% of the cooking bc I just can’t stand it otherwise. Tho mine doesn’t really clean up as he goes – I have no idea what takes him so long.

    • SC says

      It’s not clear (to me) what outcome you want to achieve here. Do you want more downtime for yourself? Do you want more family time (relaxed, not doing chores)? Do you want your husband to spend more time with your child?

      Whatever the answer is, I’d approach the problem from the angle of what you need more of. It’s not that your husband is doing things wrong (though, let’s be honest, he is). Schedule the thing you want to happen–you taking a break, everyone playing together for 20 minutes, you doing dishes while your husband plays with toddler, etc. Explain that the thing is more of a priority for you than the house being spotless.

      My husband is a little bit like this, only he defaults to childcare and doesn’t do stuff around the house. They have “project time” in the schedule (3:00-5:00) every afternoon where DH does work around the house or in the yard, and Kiddo helps or plays, but it seems to not happen. But I can’t do my work and follow DH around telling him how to do his.

      • Argh says

        I need him to take on more of the child care. I also feel like his attitude is that he is working or doing housework all day and evening so when I ask him to watch the kid, it’s just not possible because there aren’t enough hours in the day.

        • SC says

          Then I would negotiate for him to take on specific childcare tasks or time slots. He doesn’t get to avoid childcare by doing the dishes or cleaning the house. Can he do bath and bedtime? Or mornings? Can you guys trade off specific weekend times? One of you can take a few hours on Saturday morning, the other can take Saturday afternoon, then flip it the next day.

          On the other hand, you may not be able to convince him to do housework while he’s in charge of childcare. I might be able to unload the dishwasher and get Kiddo to help me make banana bread on Saturday morning, but on Saturday afternoon, I’m just grateful for some peace and quiet and can’t criticize DH for not mopping the floor while also entertaining Kiddo. It sounds like you’re OK with that, and your husband is less OK with things being not done. Admittedly, our house is far from clean, and it’s driving both me and my husband a little nuts, but we’re both OK with the house being lower priority right now.

          • Pogo says

            +1 to your first paragraph – that’s more elegantly describing what I was trying to say :)

    • Anonymous says

      I have some sympathy for your husband here. I find it incredibly stressful to do two things at once, and there are some household chores I prefer to do myself because my husband does a really sloppy job. The problem here is that the two of you now have less total time available, and something’s got to give. He can’t simply continue doing whatever he wants to do however he wants to do it, leaving you to pick up all of the slack. The two of you need to agree on a solution jointly. That could include his semi-supervising the kids while they watch a show and he does chores, letting you take over certain chores while he retains those that are most important to him, and/or reducing the frequency of some chores or the quality with which they are completed.

      • anon says

        I’m also in this camp. I kind of hate multitasking and being interrupted 5,000 times. (Like it’s seriously becoming a problem in quarantine and I’m constantly grouchy because of it. )Now, that said, he can’t be leaving you with all the child care. But I think you guys need to pick and choose which chores are the most important to accomplish.

  7. FVNC says

    Has anyone purchased cloth masks for young kids, or have a store to recommend? I saw a similar thread on the main s i t e, but would love some kid-specific recs! Looking for my 3 and 6 year olds.

    • anon says

      I was eyeing some from Christy Dawn (they have a pack of 5 for “kids”, no size specified) but haven’t ordered yet. Curious what others are doing.

      • Anon says

        My MIL sent one for my 2.5YO (I have no idea from where) and while it fits fine, kiddo refuses to wear it for more than 10 seconds – like sobbing uncontrollably meltdown. So if kids are wearing masks when we go back to preschool presumably in August, who knows what we’ll do. Hoping that 4 months older plus all the other kids doing it might convince her, but she’s always walked to the beat of her own drum. For now she just doesn’t leave our house, car or yard.

        • Anon says

          My daughter was like this with hats when she was 18 months old. She would scream and cry and yank them off immediately. They got her wearing a hat with no complaints the first day she went to school. Daycare teachers are magic. I wouldn’t borrow trouble worrying about this.

    • FP says

      I just bought one on Etsy – the seller is Oatmeal Lace. She has a size for toddlers and a size for older kids. You don’t get to pick fabric but there’s a space to include color preferences (which she accommodated on my order). Shipped quickly from Colorado.

    • Anon says

      We have pleated ones following the pattern from madeeveryday [dot] com that have two loops that go around the head (rather than over the ears) works really well for our 3-year-old and his friends. I have no seller recommendations, but maybe try to look for ones that use this style, since it seems to be quite successful.

    • Realist says

      Just got some from Etsy. I limited my search to my state and went with a seller that has been on Etsy a few years, had good reviews, and did double-layer masks. Buying local is good if you can do it, IMHO. Otherwise I would look for a balaclava from a sports store, as they sell in kid sizes.

    • Anon says

      If they are over ear ones, consider making or buying some “ear savers.” They are crochet strips with two buttons that you put on the back of the head and then hook the buttons over. I’ve been crocheting them while on conference calls for my friends that work in healthcare.

  8. JDMD says

    Any experiences using Costco services?
    I joined Costco yesterday (mainly to get their price on a Dyson cordless vac, shout-out to the poster above!), and I’m noticing that they offer several services that I’ve been contemplating. Has anyone had experience using Costco for any of the following services?
    – solar panel installation
    – blinds/curtains (we need blackout curtains in bedrooms and TV room)
    – closet/office organization

    • Anon says

      None of the above, but we used them for garage doors and it was fine – they subcontracted to a local company and we worked with the local company.

        • Anon says

          It was notably (not sure about substantially) cheaper through Costco (we also had Home Depot and another local place give us quotes) but what really made it a lot a cheaper aside from the headline price was the costco cash card you get at the end – I think it was a couple hundred dollars.

          We actually use costco mostly for the gas – DH’s car uses premium, and it’s within a 10 minute drive from the house (and in the direction we run errands, but not work). The gas savings alone pay for our membership. Other than that we do a big stock up maybe every 3 months for TP, paper towels, cheese, etc. and usually a splurge on things like nice steaks or seafood. The rental car process through costco is also massively cheaper than anywhere else, but we don’t travel often enough for that to be a significant benefit.

  9. water table? says

    toddler is almost 3, I’m thinking of getting her a water table. But I know she’d also love a sandbox, though I’m not sure I want the mess. Do you have a watertable or sandbox or combo that you love? Pros/Cons? I’m looking for something that is easy to move and clean, and around $50. Would she be just as happy with water in a plastic storage bin? We have a pool, but it won’t be warm enough for a few weeks, and I want something that she can play with that requires less supervision.Within eyesight vs arms length.

    • Anon says

      Water tables are easier than sandboxes, in my experience, though my 3yo would love if I got her a sandbox (and a sandbox is probably useful more times of the year). Around here, outdoor sandboxes need to be kept covered so cats don’t use them as litter boxes.

    • Anon says

      We have the fisher price spiralin’ seas one. Kiddo loves it, way easier than a sandbox. I use a round fireplace cover to cover it in the off season but it lives outside. I am thinking about filling the (empty, came with the house) green turtle sandbox with pea gravel now that I’m not worried about choking (kiddo is almost 3 and has yet to eat pea gravel), but that’s only because I am tired of her throwing the pea gravel we used to fill some border drainage spots all over the yard.

    • SC says

      By 3.5, my kid had outgrown his water table. Maybe this is what you’re already thinking of, but I would buy a sensory table that, during the summer, could have water, soapy water, bubble solution, shaving cream, etc. Year-round, you could also have sand, rice, paint, etc–maybe even stuff like leaves, sticks, rocks, and pinecones.

      • OP says

        Thank you. I don’t want something she’ll only use for 1 summer. Maybe a fun sprinkler is what I need.

        • SC says

          My son loves his beach ball sprinkler! If you already have an actual swimming pool, this may not be for you, but Kiddo also has a mini pool with a sprinkler function. He doesn’t actually sit in the pool anymore, but he sets it up himself, plays in the sprinkler, and throws things into the pool, takes them out, fills up containers and pours water out, etc. We could also use that for particularly messy activities and hose it down afterwards, though we haven’t bothered.

      • Anonymous says

        I disagree with this about water tables. My 4.5 year old and our 5.5 year old neighbor still like to play with ours. Maybe depends on the child?

    • Anonymous says

      We did plastic storage bin with different cups/boats etc from dollar store plus a sprinkler. Low wide bin not a tall deep one. She could sit in it comfortably too which we allowed in hot days.

    • Anonymous says

      Don’t recommend the combo- it just becomes a disgusting mess on both sides as the kids immediately start mixing the water and sand. Also sand is super heavy and makes it hard to move once you add it. Just stick with a water table and toys- maybe some rocks? Rocks are a big hit with my kids.

      • FVNC says

        Agree. We had a combo and it was the worst of both worlds (e.g., sand not deep enough to dig in, got messy, etc.). If I were going to buy one again, I’d get a water-only table, and I think my kids (6, 3) would still use it, as they love all things water.

    • anon says

      We’ve had our water table since DS was 3? and my 5-year-old daughter is still using it daily. The sandbox, on the other hand, has been passed off to younger cousins. Unless you build a really giant one, they outgrow them quickly and they’re kind of a space-hogging PITA.

    • Meg says

      My mom got our son a water table last year for his first birthday, and it provided daily entertainment through the spring, summer, and early fall. He is two now and is thrilled that it’s becoming warm enough again for the water table. Some days he gets a little wet, and some days he gets soaked, but it’s just water. Back when daycare was still open, he used to come home covered in sand, which was a much bigger headache to clean up. Based on the mess factor, I’d definitely recommend water table over sandbox.

  10. Anon says

    I don’t know if it’s just being 2 or the pandemic, but lately my toddler makes all sorts of demands (like Daddy needs to sit in that exact chair) and then gets totally hysterical when we don’t comply. How much do you give in in these situations? I don’t want her to become spoiled or self-centered, but at the same time I know there’s so little in her life she can control, it seems like we could let her have some of these trivial things she wants. Of course we don’t let her do things that are dangerous to herself or others or damage property, and we tell her no when we have to, like if one of us has to be somewhere else. But in many situations (eg., we’re all hanging out in her room and she wants to assign us specific chairs) it’s not hard to comply. I guess I’m just wondering how much I should worry about giving into these kind of whims. I think what bothers me the most is not that she orders us around like this (from what I understand that’s a normal part of being a toddler) but that she gets so hysterical so quickly when we don’t do exactly what she wants. Her reaction feels over the top and a little spoiled to me, even for a 2 year old. Appreciate any thoughts…

    • Anonymous says

      It’s being 2 :)

      I think Janet Landsbury is very good on this topic. She has a podcast.

    • Anon says

      I had a screaming toddler in my face in the middle of a client facing conference call today (while I was speaking, but thankfully not on video) because daddy made her a peanut butter sandwich instead of just peanut butter open face on the bread….I think it’s just being two.

ABOUT

WORK WITH US

SERIOUS STUFF