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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 90 Comments · by

Finally Friday: PrimaLoft Packable Jacket

Everyone· Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

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Lands' End PrimaLoft Packable Jacket | CorporetteMomsOK, guys: I finally caved and bought a washable winter coat. And I must say: it’s SUPER warm. Like, warmer than my nice wool/cashmere coat, even though this one doesn’t cover my thighs. It’s on deep discount, it’s a bright color (I got the fuschia, pictured, and it’s a lovely, deep magenta), AND it’s packable and not too bulky. Score. It was $89, but is now marked to $49 at Lands’ End, available in regular, petite, tall, and plus sizes. Lands’ End PrimaLoft Packable Jacket Update: Today Amazon is offering the kids’ version of the Orbo Jr. 4GB Android 4.1 Five Point Multi Touch Tablet PC — it has pretty good reviews — for just $47.95.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. CHJ says

    Oh C’moms… when I picked DS up from daycare last night, the center director cheerfully told me that DS has been calling one of the teachers “mama.” He loves this particular teacher — she was in the infant room with him since he was three months old, and now she’s in a different toddler classroom but he will often freak out and demand “mama” until he gets to go be with her in the other classroom. I really like this teacher too and she is so loving and kind, and I’m glad that she takes care of my little guy so well and that he feels like he has a comforting caretaker with him all day. But man oh man, cue the working mom guilt that he thinks of his daycare teachers as his mama!

    Has anyone been through something similar?

    • FVNC says

      Oh hon, I’m sorry. I had a similar experience with one of my daughter’s infant room teachers, who was with my baby from ~4 – 8 months. This teacher is amazing — she’s a great-grandmother herself, and the kids just love her. At that age, my daughter very rarely smiled at me (or frankly, showed any indication that she felt positively toward me), but she would give the biggest grins and giggles to this teacher. She would cry sometimes when I took her away from this teacher at pickup time and stretch out her arms toward her, not me. So on top of working mom guilt, I felt like I was a bad mother because my baby seemed to so obviously prefer this teacher to me. It was a bad feeling, even though I was grateful someone was caring for her so lovingly during the day. So….no advice, just commiseration. At least at that age, my baby was too young to call this teacher “mama,” but I’m sure she was thinking it!

    • RR says

      Your little guy knows who his mama is. I promise. He just doesn’t have words for all the different buckets of people in his life. I always just tried to remind myself that it’s a good thing for my children to have lots of people who love them and whom they love. And usually, right about when I would start feeling really bad about it, the toddler phase would shift and they would throw a screaming fit when I left. Toddlers are fickle little people. :)

      • ANP says

        +1 here. To him, “Mama” means “Lady I love and want to be around who takes good care of me.” I know this is probably heartbreaking for you but I promise it’s a phase!

          • Yup says

            Absolutely, this. In my Mommy & Me group, for all working moms, the therapist leader told us They Know, they know at 15 minutes/day who The Mommy is. This lady is a Co-Mommy, and yes you are lucky to have her skills & love & a happy son, and you, as The Mom, are doing the right thing for your son to fill his life with so many loving people.

        • anne-on says

          Exactly. My toddler still calls all women ‘mommies’ and all men ‘daddies’, we think its kind of cute.

        • Meg Murry says

          Also, any chance Mama is just his way of saying “Miss Somebody”? Especially if her name also starts with an M? My daycare calls all teachers “Miss Firstname” and I’m told “Miss Marie” is called “Mama” at a higher rate than other teachers just because of the M sounds.

          But ugh daycare – don’t tell me that! Although I promise, you are not the first parent to go through this.

      • JJ says

        I haven’t had this happen to me (although once a week or so when I pick up my toddler he cries and says he wants to stay at “school” and not come home with me…), I can absolutely understand what you’re feeling. Intellectually, you know this is a good thing but there’s always that tiny hole in the dam holding back all our working mom guilt, just waiting to overflow. I’m sure once your son has the right words to express his love for his teacher, he’ll use those.

    • Anonymous says

      I feel like daycares should not tell you things like that or tell you when your baby experiences a “first” there.

    • rakma says

      Ohh thank you. I didn’t end up getting the jacket (I like my coats longer) but ended up with a cardi and some knit pants from the sale section. I really like LE’s knit pants for weekend around the house wear. Not to schlubby that I won’t run out to the grocery store in them, but still super comfy.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Thank you!!! Ordered this and a bathrobe that was on sale for my kiddo, and saved $13 AND got free shipping! That is wild.

      Also, there are other colors on sale in petites – I got a blue that looks like a teal-ish navy (does that make sense?). So excited, I can put away/give away my maternity coat finally!

    • JJ says

      Thank you! I ended up buying this jacket in silver. So much for not spending money on clothes this month…

      Relatedly, the Lands End hoodies for kids with the fleece lining and fleece hoods are so great and my boys love them. We also have the monogrammed with their names to prevent any daycare mixups. I highly recommend them.

    • hoola hoopa says

      I was super excited to see that, too. The jacket was only $40! I also ended up with fuchsia. I wanted the teal/navy, but it sold out in my size too quickly. Boo. Since I ‘needed’ to get more to qualify for free shipping, I got two tops and a badly needed nightgown – all for $75! Happy hoola.

  3. NowAFamilyOfFour says

    Does anyone know how the sizes are on the jacket? I’m 5’9 and usually wear a M or L on top. I’m debating buying the Tall size (in M) just for a few more inches in length. Lands end clothes tend to have no waist which is not great for tallish people.

    • JJ says

      Don’t know the jacket sizes, but I agree that Lands End clothes have no waist. I’m tall and if Lands End doesn’t offer a tall option in a piece of clothing (through much trial and error), I have learned that I just can’t wear it. So I would err on the side of the tall jacket. You could always roll the sleeves if they’re too long (which was what those Burberry jackets that are similar are made for).

    • hoola hoopa says

      Lands End usually has actual garment measurements, which I find very helpful when debating between a regular or petite.

      Obviously I can’t tell you about the tall options – but my experience with LE coats is that they have already provided ample space for extra layers, so don’t size up. A tall M would probably work best from you, from what you’ve written.

      Thanks for the heads up, Kat. I’ve actually had my eye on this jacket all season!

  4. Anonymous says

    A poll: at what age would you let your kid(s) walk to and from school alone, if the school was a block from your house, and in a residential neighborhood that is generally considered desirable by families with kids, albeit in a very large city? Some additional facts: It’s private school, so it’s not like the whole neighborhood is walking to school at the same time. No streets need to be crossed, but there are busy streets nearby if one strays off course. My husband and I were having a semi-theoretical discussion about this last night, and I was surprised at how divergent our opinions were, so I’m curious to hear what others think.

    • mascot says

      I guess it depends on the maturity of the child and the general tone of the neighborhood. Growing up, I think I was allowed to roam alone in the neighborhood by third or fourth grade. Certainly by middle school that was fine. My child is too young for this to be an issue yet. But, one of the draws for our neighborhood was that it’s acceptable/safe for kids to go it alone or in small groups by a certain age.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Well, it was 20+ years ago and in a close-knit suburban area, but I walked to elementary school starting in 1st grade along with most of the kids in my neighborhood, who also walked without adult supervision. And I did have to cross a few roads (the school was probably a third of a mile from my house?), but would have had to walk out of my way to get to a busy road. My brother is several years younger, and once he hit 1st grade, we walked to school together. I remember some rowdy kids throwing snowballs at me a couple times and trying to extort my lunch from me a few times, and dropping art projects or skinning my knees a few times, but mostly it was uneventful.

      It taught me a lot of responsibility – I learned how to read a clock, what time I needed to leave to reach school on time (I almost always beat the buses to school because I was so worried about being late), and to make sure I had everything I needed before leaving the house. My parents also always had a backup plan in case the weather was bad; I got rides when it was very cold or raining hard. But walking to school in my rain coat, galoshes and holding an umbrella was the highlight of my life as a kid.

      In my current suburban neighborhood, I would probably let a 1st or 2nd grade child walk alone for the equivalent distance but wait until 4th or 5th grade if I was in a more urban area. But then, my kiddo is only 1, so my views may change over the next 5-6 years!

      • OP says

        Your experience is similar to my husband’s — he walked to school alone in first grade. I grew up somewhere rural and always rode the bus until I could drive. I did walk to a friend’s house alone that was about 2 blocks from my house when I was very young, but I didn’t live in a city and I feel like it was much more acceptable for kids to walk around alone when we were growing up. (See, e.g., the story in Slate this morning about parents being investigated because their kids walked home alone from the playground.)

        Our kid is only 3 but will be at this school through the end of middle school. Obviously he is too young to walk alone now. The conversation started because my husband is out of town and I have the flu, and remarked in passing that I wished our kid was old enough to walk to school alone since I felt terrible. Husband said that he would be able to walk alone in two or three years., which struck me as very young, but when I thought back on my childhood I wondered if I was being overprotective.

        • Newly pregnant says

          5 or 6 seems really young to me to walk by himself. My elementary school was walking distance from my house (in the suburbs), and there were crossing guards over the busier streets. I was allowed to walk without my parents only with a neighborhood kid who was older than me. I don’t remember exactly this started – maybe 1st or 2nd grade (so, 5-7 years old) when she was in 5th or 6th (10-12 years old)? I think I was allowed to walk by myself when she graduated to middle school. I’m 4 grades above my sister, and I remember that when she started full time elementary school we were allowed to walk by ourselves.

        • Meg Murry says

          If its only 1 block, could you just stand on your front walk/steps and watch him most of the way there? If I could see my child most of the way to the school, I would probably be ok with a 5 or 6 year old walking. Although at our school the hardest part with a kid that little is avoiding the parents that drive like idiots during drop-off time … but I digress.

          If everyone else drives and you are only a block from school, you possibly could make some friends you could call on to pick your son up on their way in future on a day like today? Of course, the logistics of car seats, boosters, etc makes this more difficult – but not impossible.

    • Meg Murry says

      I think it also depends for me whether walking to/from school with an adult was part of the regular routine before, and how the kid handled it. We live 3/4 mile from our elementary school in a small town, but a straight shot (no turns, just walk down the street and keep going, sidewalks the whole way and only one tiny street to cross) and I’ve internally debated at what point I might let my son walk or ride his bike. He’s in second grade now and takes the bus just because its most convenient for us, but I’m thinking next year if he dawdles enough to miss the bus (due to his fault, not his father’s or mine) I might make him just walk it rather than giving him a ride. He’s a pretty responsible kid though (sets his own alarm clock, gets himself dressed in the morning, makes his own breakfast) so unless he has a major attitude shift I don’t see that happening.

    • Pogo says

      This was the situation (although several more blocks, but along a bike path) in my old neighborhood. The school actually required an adult to accompany the child to school until the child was 10. It drove my friend nuts, he always was saying he was going to start sending a cardboard cut-out of himself with his son (who was 7 or 8 at the time).

      So I’m saying it could be a moot point – the school might have its own rules on this.

      • OP says

        Ours actually doesn’t. We are the only family that doesn’t drive and apparently no one ever lived within walking distance of the school before.

    • hoola hoopa says

      I was walking a similar distance solo in kindergarten (and a much longer distance with older sib), but now that I have a kindergartener (and a similar walk), I admit that I’d probably feel better around 2nd grade. I’m sure she’d be capable of it… I’m just not sure that I would be. We walk together, fwiw.

      I felt really guilty about that until it came up with my parents who were emphatic that they were never comfortable with it but had no other option.

      It would also matter to me if they were going to be latch-key or if someone would be there when they arrived. If someone would be there to know that they didn’t get in and/or could easily stand outside and watch them arrive, then I’d feel much more comfortable with K than if they were going to arrive to an empty house, need to keep track of a key, and be home alone for a period of time. I was latch-key.

      Personality plays into it, also. It would stress her out more than perhaps an average child. She still won’t stay overnight with her very beloved and close grandparents.

  5. Ciao, pues says

    Any recommendations for a good trainer cup for a 12-month old?

    We’re trying to move her away from a bottle and on to a cup, but an open cup is too advanced for her (she tips too dramatically and ends up with her drink all over her face; she also still likes to throw her bottle/ cup). We currently have a Nuby with a valve mouthpiece (link to follow) but are thinking of something that requires tipping and drinking without sucking. My pediatrician said there is a cup on the market with a no-spill lip, but I can’t find anything like that online. Any ideas?

      • Lyssa says

        We’ve used several that are pretty similar to that one, and they work well. Very little difference between that and a bottle, in terms of how the kid uses it, so it’s great for transitioning.

      • Ciao, pues says

        We love this sippy, too. Easy to clean, and pretty no-spill. We’d like something a little more advanced though since, as you note, it’s very similar to a bottle. Just not sure what the next step is?

    • NewMomAnon says

      Munchkin Miracle 360 cup!!! They have a 10 ounce without handles and 7 ounce with handles. My kiddo loves it. You do have to suck to get the liquid to come out, but it’s not a spout; you can suck anywhere around the edge. Also pretty easy to keep clean.

  6. SnottyAnon says

    I’ve got a head cold that I caught from my 2 yr old and I’m still only 10 wks along on no 2. I’m miserable and can’t take any medicine. And I can’t explain why I’m not taking medicine to my coworkers other than a vague, it makes my brain too foggy. Any recs on ways to cope with a cold when you can’t take meds?

    I can’t even go home bc the cleaning lady will be there for next few hours and DD will be there after that w her nanny.

    • JJ says

      Ugh, that’s the worst. I only survived my pregnancy colds as a result of neti-pots and saline spray. And I would call your doctor – mine told me that it was fine to take certain types of Mucinex. I’d have hot soup for dinner tonight and go to bed as soon as you possibly can.

      • quailison says

        Pregnancy colds are the worst. The day I was cleared for Afrin and sudafed was the best (my colds are worst in my sinuses..ugh the headaches.) Definitely check on what you can take.

        Other than that, I drank a lot of tea. I found inhaling the steam soothing, and it’s not too weird at work. When I could, put my head over pots of steamy water with a towel over me.

    • Lyssa says

      Yuck – I’ve had 2 pregnancy colds this year, and they have been awful. My ob OKs (I’m going to misspell all of these) sudifed, tylenol, and Robotussin, and Benedryl (which I found helped me sleep when I was coughing) so you can consider any of those. Not as good as what I might otherwise take, but they helped.

  7. SC says

    How much time, if any, did your SOs take off from work immediately after you gave birth? I’m expecting in May, and DH is expecting to be very busy at his (relatively new) job and is hesitant to ask for time off after I have the baby. Several people have told me that I’ll need him around for the first week or two, and all of my male colleagues have taken a couple of weeks off when their wives had children. FWIW, for multiple reasons, my husband cannot do much of his work from home. Also, we have extended family nearby who can and probably will help some by bringing meals or maybe visiting for a couple of hours, but nobody would be able to stay with me all day while he’s gone (not that I would necessarily want that). So, how hard do I need to push for DH to take time off? How much time? Or am I totally overreacting and will be fine at home alone with a new baby right away?

    • Anon says

      My husband took 1 week. It wasn’t ideal, but the first couple of weeks were easier than weeks 2-8. Parenting a new baby is a marathon not a sprint so stay focused on longer term issues of sharing the responsibilities.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Mine took off a week and planned to take off two, but couldn’t mentally handle being home with the unstructured schedule of a newborn. Note that your husband may need the week off to handle labor the post-labor hospital time – I labored at home for a day and night (and my husband stayed with me), labored in the hospital for another day and gave birth at 8 pm. Three days in the hospital (five for a C section) for recovery after that. If labor had started on a Monday – you’ve already lost an entire work week. I would expect a guy to spend that time in the hospital with his wife and new child, at the very least, so he should plan to take a week off and warn work that he may take off two depending on when labor happens.

      • SC says

        I had not thought about time for labor/hospital — thanks! I imagine that time off while I’m actually in labor or in the hospital will not be a problem, but I’ll explain to him that he needs to account for that time as well.

    • KJ says

      My husband took a month off. I wanted to have him there after the out-of-town parents and in-laws all went home, and I was really glad we had that time together as a little family. Then he took two more weeks to stay home with the baby after I went back to work, and that was really great for him to bond with the baby and gain confidence in taking care of her. This was important to me because I want my husband to an equally involved parent.

      A couple of things to consider: You may have complications from your birth. I had an emergency c-section with complications and was re-hospitalized for 5 days when my baby was a week old. There was no way my husband could have gone back to work after a week. Also, in those first few weeks my baby was waking up every hour to eat all night, and my husband was totally sleep deprived. He would not have been in a good state for working. That said, I think it is common for partners to only take off a week or two, and if you have family around to help you, you will probably be fine. But if you feel strongly about it, tell your husband how you feel.

      • SC says

        Thanks. For a variety of reasons that I understand, DH can’t ask for a month off. We’ll have to think about a backup plan if I have complications. But I think my in-laws who live in the area would be much more willing to step up and help if I had complications from the birth than if things are relatively smooth and we’re dealing with “normal” new baby stuff. And I think DH’s job is probably flexible enough that if there were serious complications, he could take more time off.

    • Anonymous says

      He took one week right away, then we had family in town for two weeks and he worked shorter days while they were there, and then he took another week after they left. I didn’t have a c-section and recovered pretty quickly, but if you have a difficult recovery from chidlbirth you may need help longer.

      Honestly, it was really hard for me to be home by myself for 15 hours a day with a baby (due to some PPD, and living in an area where we knew no one). Looking back, I think I would have preferred that he work shorter days for a longer stretch of time rather than taking a block of time at once.

      • SC says

        Thanks for your comment. Maybe I can encourage him to work shorter days and also ask family members to rotate visits so that I’m not alone for really long stretches.

        • JJ says

          I also wouldn’t make any concrete plans for family to be there, back to back to back. After a few weeks, I kind of had a routine down and I liked my time home alone with my baby. There’s something to be said for sitting around topless (if you’re nursing…or if that’s your fancy) and then napping like that if you needed to.

        • NewMomAnon says

          Stay flexible on this one – I found that some family members were good company while I was on maternity leave, and some made me want to pull my hair out. I wouldn’t have predicted who would be comforting, versus who would not be, prior to having the baby. By the end of my leave, my favorite days were the ones when I could just be responsive to baby and enjoy my time with her.

    • Meg Murry says

      I think its better for him to plan to take 3-4 weeks and then if everything is going ok go back a few days or weeks early, vs telling his job he’s only going to be out for a week and then if you have complications it turns into 2, 3 or 4. If he absolutely feels like he can’t take 3-4 weeks off, could he plan to take 1-2 weeks off, then schedule to only be in the office for 2-3 days the next 2 weeks? Or only half days for those 2 weeks? FMLA can be taken intermittently, not just in one big block.

      For some ancedata – I had a really really hard time with my first due to the fact that he had issues latching (and therefore eating) and I was getting only 2-3 hours sleep a night total. I called my husband sobbing the first day he left me alone by myself by noon after about 1.5 weeks. Granted, I was at 1.5 weeks of total sleep deprivation and crazy hormones possibly bordering on PPD – but it can happen.

      • SC says

        Thank for the anecdata — that’s exactly the type of thing I’m concerned about. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, he can’t plan 3-4 weeks off, and FMLA doesn’t apply to his business (small start-up with 10-20 employees). I’m asking for exactly what you’re describing – 1-2 weeks off plus shorter days, and he keeps saying it “may not be possible.” The purpose of my comment was largely to see if other people have managed by themselves right away, and it sounds like the norm is to have some help at the beginning.

        • jk says

          Just a counterpoint: my husband took three days off with our first and a half day with our second (we live in japan, he’s japanese, it’s common for dads here to take very little time off and his job situation made him wary of rocking the boat).

          I did fine, and actually enjoyed my quiet first few weeks with both kids (older one kept going to daycare while i was out with #2). But i am the type of person who prefers to be left alone to figure stuff out, and i had lots of resources on speeddial if i needed help (SAHM friends, the birth clinic, local health center which would dispatch a nurse, etc)

    • Watermelon says

      My husband’s paternity leave was the same length as my maternity leave (minus a few days I took off before the birth). This was important to us to be equal parents (and just to manage the tons of work). Also, I think it’s helpful to social progress for men to take off just as much as women (if doing so works for a given family). I would have cut short my maternity leave if he had to cut short his paternity leave. Just for reference, I took the full amount of post-birth leave protected under California law.

      • anon says

        Just wanted to chip in that the OP’s state may provide for job-protected baby bonding time with requirements that are less onerous than FMLA (such as California’s 6 week paid family leave). For some families I know, the father took all or part of this time after the mother went back to work.

      • SC says

        This would indeed be ideal. Although, to be fair, the nature of our jobs explains the difference, and he really doesn’t have a choice. I work in mid-law with a 12-week paid maternity leave. DH is one of two managers at a small start-up where there is no FMLA (and no state protections) and no vacation/sick/leave policy (as of now, he and the co-manager are the only people on the payroll, although that will change by the time I have the baby). So, while I’m on maternity leave, we will not be parenting equally. And I trust that as I pursue my career goals in the future, DH will support me by doing more of the parenting and work at home and not hold me to an “equal parenting” ideal.

    • hoola hoopa says

      My husband has always planned for 1-2 weeks, but the reality has been ~3 days to 1.5 weeks for the three births. He’s on contract, so he does not get PTO or parental leave. He also does not have good coverage and has short-term and unpredictable deadlines. He has had understanding employers – but when work needs to be done, it needs to be done.

      However, for the first month-ish, he works shorter days as much as possible. That really helps. In addition to planning on doing all the housework and cooking/picking up take out, he’d also ‘pack’ me a lunch before he left for the day.

      We always plan on my parents coming for weeks ~2-3. I understand that’s not possible for you, but visits and food will make a huge difference.

      So long as everyone understands that you’ll be exhausted, hormonal, and not doing anything other than caring for baby, you’ll survive.

      • SC says

        Thanks. This sounds similar to our situation, and although I’m pushing for 2 weeks, he’s preparing me for a combination of less time/shorter days/shorter weeks. I like the idea of him “packing” me a lunch and will definitely try to remember that. I think my parents are planning to come around weeks 3-4 (they’ve picked dates, so which week it is depends on when the baby arrives) for 4-5 days. I’m sure we’ll get plenty of food – MIL loves cooking for us. I’ll make sure to ask for visits so I have some extra help and time to shower :-)

    • FVNC says

      Mine took off about 1.5 weeks total, which included 5 days total in the hospital then 4 work days at home once we returned. He then took off another week once my mat leave ended, when baby was around 3 months. I certainly would have appreciated more company during the day, but it worked out okay. Three or four weeks would have been amazing, but was simply not possible for us. At my company, new dads seem to take 1-2 weeks. I think him not taking any time at all is unreasonable.

    • Nonny says

      Mine planned to take 1 week off but after the baby was born I made him take 2 weeks. I was recovering from a C-section and really felt I needed his support, even though my mom was also staying with us at the time. I just felt so emotionally and physically weak and needy, and due to the C-section and complications recovering from anaesthesia, I could barely even walk before the end of the second week. When he went back to work after 2 weeks, my mom stayed with us for another week. The fourth week, when my mom was no longer around, my husband came home during his lunch breaks (luckily he works close enough to home for this to happen). It meant that I could have half an hour to wash, change, whatever I couldn’t do with the baby. By week 5 I was on my own.

    • Jen says

      For my first, I was crazy late and DH was starting a new job after a 5 month stint of unemployment. He has planned to be home with me and the baby for 3 weeks before starting, but I was 2 weeks late. Normal delivery; I have birth on a Thursday and he started New Job about 10 days later on Monday. A full second week woul have been better, but we had intermittent family visiting so they kept me busy.

      Our LO had some minor complications that we had to deal with the first few days (jaundice, tongue tie, inability to latch) but we got those sorted out by the end of the first week.

      It wasn’t ideal but I managed fairly fine. Next time, I’ll need more time because there will be a toddler in the mix. I had no PPD issues and our baby was a freakishly good
      Sleeper.

    • anonymama says

      My husband took off 1.5 weeks for the first, 3 days for the second. Not good, but doable. It helps a lot to have help…for the first 2 weeks with the first, my mother-in-law came over every day and cleaned house, did laundry, brought groceries. For the second, husband actually had to go out of town, and I just lined up friends to come over every day with lunch or dinner… it was nice to have some interaction with another person, get fed, and have someone eager to hold the baby so I could take a shower or have a little time to rest. For the second, it did take a little longer for him to really bond with the baby. If possible see if he can work shorter days, either go in a bit later or come home earlier, so he can have baby time every day, and you can have shower/eat time. I think that helps more than him being home for 2 weeks then back to work full time.

  8. Anon says

    I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins and I.am.so.tired. I rarely feel rested in the morning between the peeing every 3 hours, random Braxton hicks contractions that are uncomfortable and sometimes wake me up, and my hips hurt so I have to roll over about every 1.5 hours. To top it off I’m really anxious about having and taking care of these babies and our nursery isn’t ready yet. I told my boss I was pregnant with twins at 9 weeks and kind of put the bug in his ear that “anything can happen” per my doctor. I could go on bed rest, etc. and that we should schedule everything to assume that I’ll be out at 30 weeks. I had a meeting with my boss on Monday regarding where I’m at on our huge annual project that I am responsible for and we still have about 4 more weeks (at 40+ hours per week) until we’re at a good spot. I’ve always been a great employee that will go over and above to make sure things get done. I got a glowing review in August and a great bonus. I’m feeling sooo torn between wanting to continue to be my super hero self and just slowing way down. I feel obligated to get this stuff done because it’s in my job description but I don’t want to put my health and the baby’s health in jeopardy by stressing out and being super woman. Any words of wisdom???? I don’t want these people to lose respect for me. I’m supposed to have a sweet part-time work at home gig after maternity leave with the same company. We’ll be fine if I don’t work so the part-time gig was more about me keeping my sanity and foot in the door professionally. But the other side of it is, will I look back 1, 2, 5 years from now and be SOOOO glad that I didn’t let people down and was super woman??? I doubt it. If I know myself right, I’ll be totally immersed in this new life that is my two babies and work will be lower on my priorities list and I’ll look back and think man I should’ve slowed down and taken it easier during that time. I should be enjoying this time….I think? HELP!!!!

    I’m thinking I could make my doctor the bad guy? I could say my doctor has given me strict orders that I am to reduce my hours to 30 hours per week. I know she would give me letter stating such.

    Any words of advice from those of you who have been there?

    • KJ says

      Making the doctor the bad guy is always a good idea. And in my experience they are usually happy to be the bad guy.

      I turned down the opportunity to do something really cool when I was in my first trimester because it would have been long hours and very, very stressful. I had a high-risk pregnancy and was terrified of miscarriage, plus I had the 1st tri exhaustion happening. I agonized about the decision, but looking back I don’t regret it at all. I’m not superwoman, I’m human. I have limitations, and when my limitations made me choose between Cool Project and the well-being of myself and my baby, I’m very glad I chose the latter.

    • Meg Murry says

      If you are going part time after mat leave, that means you probably won’t be handling this annual project next year, right? At least not by yourself? I’d make the doctor the bad guy, and spin it as a chance to train whoever is going to handle the project next year while you are there to hold their hand – or to help them out in case it all goes crazy and you are on bed rest right before the project is due (or happens, if its an event).

      • Anon says

        D*aaaaamnit. I wrote out a huge post and then it deleted it.

        Anyway, in summary, it said: No, I would be assisting with large project not completely the entire thing myself. I put 5 resumes in front of them for people that came highly recommended and they’ve followed up with none of them. I don’t know why they haven’t and to be honest I guess I don’t really care because I’ve done my part by setting expectations, etc and it’s their job to manage this work load.

        Large project is our corporate tax return that takes 6 months to complete start to finish. It’s difficult to hire people in tax right now because it’s almost busy season – people with any kind of loyalty are not going to jump ship in January and burn professional bridges.

      • hoola hoopa says

        +1 to making it an opportunity to cross train.

        I vote for making the doc the bad guy. It has also been my experience that they are comfortable or even happy to fill that role.

        IME, you will NOT look back in 5 years and be happy that you did more than you reasonably could/should.

          • JJ says

            So, I recently resigned from my job and took a new one. I hesitated to take this new job, in part, because I was so worried that there would be no one to replace me at the old job. I thought I was vital. Here’s the thing: well-run, well-managed places will deal with temporary and permanent absences. You won’t look back in several years and regret that you didn’t work harder while your birth of twins was imminent. It’s your manager’s responsibility to figure out a solution – let him/her do it.

          • anon says

            You have more than done the responsible employee part of the relationship by keeping your employer continually advised of your health condition and even helping to find someone to act in your role – it is not your fault that your employer has not acted on your suggestions.

        • hoola hoopa says

          Sorry – you posted that while I was writing my reply. To clarify, it’s a great way to frame it, but you don’t need that reason as an excuse. You don’t need any excuse. You need to shorten your day for medical reasons and that’s that.

          I agree with JJ. If push comes to shove, your manager will find FTE somewhere, somehow. It’s literally their job. I’m not in tax industry, but my mental math is that you won’t be able to finish out the season anyway, so they are going to need coverage soon regardless of whether you’re working 40+ for as long as you can or going to 30 for the next few weeks. I still think that bringing up the need cross training is legitimate here, but – again – you do not have to rely on that to make your request.

  9. Anon says

    D*aaaaamnit. I wrote out a huge post and then it deleted it.

    Anyway, in summary, it said: No, I would be assisting with large project not completely the entire thing myself. I put 5 resumes in front of them for people that came highly recommended and they’ve followed up with none of them. I don’t know why they haven’t and to be honest I guess I don’t really care because I’ve done my part by setting expectations, etc and it’s their job to manage this work load.

    Large project is our corporate tax return that takes 6 months to complete start to finish. It’s difficult to hire people in tax right now because it’s almost busy season – people with any kind of loyalty are not going to jump ship in January and burn professional bridges.

  10. PregAnon says

    Goodness. 7 weeks and I’m already nauseous on and off all day? Also cramps – not bad, but just enough to be really annoying and make the nausea worse. Just regular tylenol seems to help me sleep, but this is awful. I just feel…gross.

    The replica clarisonic seems to be helping my face break outs, but I still feel like an oily mess. Not to mention at work, I totally look green and am having to pass it off as “just tired” or “really busy.”

    Anyone else have this nausea thing? I’m not throwing up (yet) but it sure is gross.

    • Philanthropy Girl says

      With both of my pregnancies I had off-and-on-all-day-nausea, and never threw up. And yes. So gross – I had days I wanted nothing more than the throw up, because all my puking friends claimed they’d puke and feel better. I found rotating between peppermint tea, ginger tea, ginger candies, peppermint candies, and anything sour (lemonade was my favorite) seemed to help with the gross feeling. I had to rotate, if I used one thing too much, it made me feel worse.

      Drink tons of water – it was good for the skin stuff and the nausea and exhaustion. Snacks like hummus seemed to really help my nausea not in the moment, but the following day.

      Hang in there – in all likelihood this will pass.

      • PregAnon says

        Thanks! I’m going to order some ginger candies and all that other stuff right now!

    • Nonny says

      Get a prescription for Diclectin (at least that is what it is called in Canada – it might go under a different name in the US). It is perfectly safe and saved my life. It’s been prescribed in Canada for a long time but I believe only became available in the US about a year and a half ago.

      I never did vomit (except on several Tuesdays – explain that) but otherwise felt nauseous all.the.time if I didn’t take the Diclectin. I found that hot water with ginger and lemon also helped, as did eating something about every 1 1/2 hours.

      • Katala says

        Second eating often, it was super helpful to me even though I didn’t always feel like it (and I was lucky enough not to puke it up so it helped the next day too).

        NOt sure about diclectin but there’s a med that was off the market in the US for a long time and recently came back – it is just B6 + benadryl. So you could try that combo and see if it does anything for you. B6 during the day (I think something like 250mg every 2-3 hours) and benadryl at night. I never ended up needing the benadryl because I would conk out before taking it but I think the B6 helped some. Check out the book “Expecting Better” she explains this med and tons of other awesome things. And it will pass! I felt so much better at 10-11 weeks :)

      • Yup says

        In the US it is Zofran. It is basically Unisom + Vitamin B, but the script version stays down easier (well, on me) than the OTC DIY version. I was throwing up breakfast + prenatals + my anti-anxiety pill… you don’t have to be a hero, you don’t have to be Kate Middleton, just be able to function, Mama, trust me.

        • Katala says

          Yes – thank you! I meant Unisom (not Benadryl). Preggers brain! That’s a good point if the script is easier to keep down. And 100% agree no need to be a hero, if it’s causing you problems that’s what meds are for!

    • sfg says

      I’ve been nauseous the entire time (29+ weeks now). Had a pass on vomiting between weeks 18 and 28. I did not get a Zofran scrip until week 14 or 15 and I was sorry that I waited that long. Definitely try having crackers/other snacks that appeal to you on hand everywhere, ginger chews or other things to suck on, carbonated beverages, keep hydrated, BUT if those things don’t work, you don’t need to suffer.

      • JJ says

        I swore by Zofran for my nausea. However (this may be TMI), but be CERTAIN and drink a lot of water and take stool softeners if you go on Zofran. My doc made sure to tell me that one of the side effects was “stopping everything up.”

    • PregAnon says

      Wow! Thank you everyone SO much! It almost feels better that I’m not alone. Good to know that Zofran is ok – I’ve taken that in the past, and it is great!

      Just to continue the TMI – I have ulcerative colitis so I’m happy with anything that stops everything…so I’m good with that!

      I’m seeing my doctor Monday, and I’ll ask for ALL of the meds!

  11. Meg Murry says

    FYI on the Orbo Jr tablet – my son has a similar (but not the same) kids tablet that is 8 GB, although 4 GB is used by the operating system and pre-installed apps that can’t be deleted, and I am CONSTANTLY having to cycle through deleting old apps to make room for the new one he wants, and then a month later removing the new one and re-installing the old one. 4 GB isn’t much room for a tablet at all if your kids likes some of the larger apps that are space hogs (in my son’s case, Plants vs Zombie, a movie making app, a temple run app and Angry Birds are the ones we are moving off and on all the time). And even with a bumper, he still managed to crack the screen by dropping something ONTO the tablet.

    • mascot says

      I thought the same thing. We have a 16 GB kindle fire for my son and are always running out of memory (part of this is the unlimited material he can download in the Kindle FreePlay app). Always buy more memory than you think you need. I thought we would be fine just moving things between cloud and device. It’s a pain.

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